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Stillness is enveloping the city, the white veil covering the buildings painting everything in a new light, making it appear like one is looking at a postcard; just pure, untouched beauty tempting everybody to stop whatever they are doing to simply take it all in.
Taking another step, the slight crunch of snow underneath her shoes the only sound in the usually busy city, Jackie wipes away a little bit of snowdust before placing her hands on the small railing of the building’s rooftop, the coldness immediately seeping through her bones as she breathes in the seemingly clear air. In, and out. In, and out.
And magically her shoulders begin to relax; every white cloud swirling in front of her like letting go of the tension that has been tearing her apart in the last few weeks, and every intake of breath filling her with strength and peacefulness.
Slowly, a small smile spreads across Jackie’s lips, her eyes stinging just slightly as thoughts about that awful day, Elise’s health, her involvement with Panacea and her self-loathing, her worries about the future and uncertainty about Elise’s reaction if she knew the full extent of her actions – the prospect of their relationship ending like snow turning into a slushy mess, like the world is losing its magic – begin to fade away; the snow just as calming now as it has been when she first saw it covering her surroundings years ago.
She can still remember being mesmerized by its effect, seeing the word magical in a different light for the first time in her life when she looked at the white surface. And while there undeniably were footprints in the snow that suggested otherwise, it weirdly had felt like a gift to her personally; a distraction from the hardships, a peaceful adventure that wanted to be conquered, a challenge that she couldn’t control, but was able to shape into whichever form she wanted and needed.
For the first time, she really was able to breathe; the ice crystals and the clear air filling her with the strength she needed to continue to work hard – to make her parents proud, and even more so, to reach her own goals and be content herself.
And even now, countless snowfalls later, it, irrationally, stupidly, feels like a whispered promise; every dancing snowflake that shines in the dim, golden light of the slumbering city vowing to keep a sleeping Elise safe and to calm Jackie down after the nightmare that had woken her up earlier, Elise’s company for once not enough to lull her back to sleep; and she just has to stretch out her hand and catch them for all of her dreams and hopes to come true.
So, she tips her head back and enjoys the cold snowflakes landing on her skin, every one of them feeling like a gentle caress telling her that everything will be okay.
She’s just about to tilt her head back a little further when the sound of the door to the rooftop opening cuts through the comforting silence and Jackie jumps, cursing under her breath, her whole body tense.
“Sorry,” a familiar and apologetic voice says, the sound getting carried over the rooftop.
With a still quickly beating heart and slightly confused, Jackie turns around to see Elise slowly making her way over to her; her hands holding two mugs, her curtain bangs a mess and her eyes only now, as she takes in the scenery in front of them, opening fully.
“Wow,” Elise says after a long moment of silence, her voice as soft as a freshly fallen snow, as if she’s afraid the sound alone could melt away the beauty of it.
“I know.”
Blissfully closing her eyes for another moment, Jackie listens to the symphony of snowflakes falling to the ground and the comforting sound of Elise’s winter coat rustling slightly before she opens them again, only then noticing the mug Elise is holding out for her, the steam of the hot chocolate swirling in the air.
The mug is almost as warm in her hands as she feels right now, the thanks lost somewhere in the small space between them and the great wonder of how Elise knew that she would be up here.
Still, she doesn’t question it, her heart already stuttering uncomfortably as is and speeding up when she sees the soft smile on Elise’s lips morphing into something teasing, maybe even mysterious when she, a little awkwardly, produces a flask from one of her coat pockets and hands it to Jackie.
“Here. For you.”
A white cloud is swirling in front of her as Jackie laughs silently, her eyes trained on the silver gleam of the container. “Is this how it is now? I’m not complaining, but this better be the good stuff if you’re trying to butter me up,” she says in a light but grateful tone, lamely trying to downplay the emotions whirling inside her before she adds a soft thank you when she takes the flask a moment later, her fingers brushing against Elise’s.
“Only the best for you,” Elise answers with just a touch more seriousness than playfulness in her voice while Jackie first smells and then pours some of the alcohol into her hot chocolate, careful to not pour it over the whipped cream, and puts the flask away when Elise, as expected, declines.
“God. You’re such a sap.”
“What can I say, darling? I know what you like.”
Her face tingles when Jackie catches the smile on her partner’s face growing even wider as she rolls her eyes, worries about her own smile freezing into place melting away when she turns back to the scenery in front of them and notices how much more serene it all feels now, her heart as light as a snowflake, dancing like the night will never end.
Though for once, there are no nagging worries at the back of her mind, no problems and fears she tries to suppress; the snow has covered them all with its light. And Elise somehow, magically, has sealed it and stopped time, stopped everything, leaving just this moment. Just them.
“Let’s make a toast,” Jackie says when she has already taken several sips, the slight spiciness of the chili flakes in it warming her even as her breath catches a little when Elise turns towards her, white snowflakes resting in her dark hair and a snowstorm of adoration dancing in her eyes.
“To what?” Elise asks while shuffling a little closer and changing the hand with which she holds the mug to the one that is pressed against her stomach to gently swipe something cold away from Jackie’s cheek.
She shivers, warmth consuming her at the gesture as the simple everything will be okay gets replaced by another promise; one that is more tangible but also much scarier, one that makes her heart jump in joy and her brain tell her to be careful. And still, she stays exactly where she is, unmoving by Elise’s side, hoping that she’ll do the same. That they can make it through every cold front and every blizzard; together.
So, her next words are a silent promise too, one interwoven in four little words that easily spill from her lips, hope intermingling with love and fear and the desire to open up more, to share more of herself with Elise – even if it’s something as utterly idiotic and ridiculous as her connection to the snow. “To moments like this.”
The silence all around them mingles with delighted laughter as Elise shifts once more, again slightly awkwardly, until she cuddles into Jackie’s side, making her realize only now that she has been hiding a warm water bottle underneath a coat – something Jackie should have expected. Because despite Elise’s heart being as sunny as a tropical paradise, warming everybody around her, she’s always feeling cold.
So, Jackie pulls her even closer, her arm wrapped around her waist to warm up her own snowflake; the one that is shining brighter than any other ice crystal, the one she never dared to dream of being able to find or having by her side, the one she’s afraid will one day melt and slip away from her.
“And you say I’m the sappy one,” Elise teases, her voice melodic and happy, like she knows exactly how much this moment means to her, how serene and safe she currently feels.
And maybe she does, her voice sounding as weightless as a snowflake and as bright as its shimmer in the moonlight, like somehow the dark cloud of numbness and sadness has finally started to slacken its grip on Elise and she’s on her way back to them, to her.
It’s this magical snowfall that lets any retort die on Jackie’s lips and elicits something between a silent sob and a laugh from Elise before she looks at Jackie with brighter eyes than she has seen from her in a while and clinks her mug against hers. “To us, the future… and to moments when the world is almost as beautiful as you are.”