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He couldn't stop tapping his knees. It was something he'd picked up after years of standing watch while Clarke pulled her pranks or did something they weren't supposed to do. She never let him join in on her antics because of who his father was but he always tagged along. He tried to keep her out of serious trouble and it worked most of their lives. Except now. Now there wasn't a thing he could do to save her from this mess.
Their friendship was old and neither of them could remember how they met or why they became friends. The children of the important people on the ark were always raised together, it was a weird tradition. Most of the kids were groomed to become important from birth. Wells grew up surrounded by children of head engineers or council members. Other children shied away from him because of his father but not Clarke. She was always there with her bright blue eyes and curly blonde hair. The other kids would make fun of him or call him “Young Prince”. It was something they'd picked up from some really old animated film. Clarke would put her arm around his shoulder and reassure him. As kids they'd attended school together. As they grew older he yearned for the days of his childhood when he would play with her all day. They used to make up the greatest adventure stories. Clarke always had the best imagination. He was always by her side.
Except for now. Now she was locked away and he was waiting for her to be brought into the visitation room. He still couldn't believe she was in prison. His father told him when he came home. Clarke and her father were arrested and her father was set to be executed. Kane decided to include Clarke in the charges and she was going to be locked away. Wells felt sick and made his father promise to allow him to visit her during the next visitation day. Those were usually reserved for family or close acquaintances. He'd never asked his father for anything and he certainly never begged for anything either. His father made arrangements and now he was minutes away from seeing her.
Wells heard the familiar hissing sound of a door opening and jumped to his feet. He tried to work his face into a sympathetic smile and found it difficult. She didn't look beat up. Her hair was tied back and she wasn't dressed in some jumpsuit. It was just plain old Clarke. The guard chained her wrist cuffs to the table. It was done as a security precaution but Wells still wanted to tell him it was unnecessary. That was a line he'd picked up watching old movies with Clarke. He took another look at Clarke and her eyes were filled with an emotion he'd never had directed towards him before, hate. They sat in a cold silence for a few minutes before he couldn't stand it anymore.
“Clarke are you okay? Are you being treated right? I can have my father talk to the guards if they are giving you trouble” Breathing deeply, he braced for her response. At the mention of his father she looked up from the metal table. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“Your father? Are you serious” Her voice was shaking and her hands balled into fists. She was trying to keep herself from crying, he'd seen her do this so many times.
“Talk to me, please? I want to help” He was close to tears now. It unsettled him to see her like this. He knew she would upset but this was something different. This rage was directed at him.
Clarke’s tears started to fall freely but she kept her anger pointed at him. “You're the reason he's dead. You promised. Hes dead..” She finally broke down. Wells almost jumped up to sit by her side as a reflex. He knew better and was confused instead. What was she talking about? He sat for a few minutes, listening to her blubbering sobs. The realization washed over him like a cold burst of air.
Abby didn't tell her the truth.
She thought Wells broke his promise and told his father about her dads plan. And her mother hadn't corrected this. He wanted to tell her what really happened. For a minute he almost did. Her mother was all she had left and he couldn't bring himself to do anything to jeopardize that. He didn't want her to feel alone. Experience taught him that being alone wasn't an option. He wouldn't wish that on anyone else. Even if that meant he'd never have her friendship again. Her crying continued and he knew he made the right choice. He opened his mouth to say something but the words caught in his throat. Nothing he could say would make her feel better. He was at a loss for what could. As he stood up to leave he let his tears flow. His father told him never to cry in front of anyone but he couldn't stop himself this time. Turning towards the door he whispered “I'm sorry”
He had to stop on the way back home and lean against the wall. It took every ounce of strength he had to stop himself from turning around and running back to her. He wanted to spill everything, her mothers betrayal and his innocence. He did it for her and if he took that back, he'd be selfish. That didn't take the pain away. Clarke was all he had in the world and he'd just said goodbye and he didn't know when he'd see her again. They had so many plans made for the month. She'd wanted to continue their movie watching binges after training. It was her turn to pick the film and she always picked a comedy. He threw his head back and bumped it roughly against the wall. Pain shot through his skull but he ignored it. All he wanted to do was turn around and comfort Clarke. He wanted to take her pain away. He wasn't dull enough to believe that anything he did, with or without her current mood, would heal her. It was his job as her friend to do his best to help and now he couldn't. She was sitting in a cell alone and weeks after her father was executed in front of her. A guard walked by and put an hand on his shoulder. “Are you feeling alright Mr. Jaha? I can escort you to med bay” Wells laughed bitterly and shook his head. He didn't want to be called that. He didn't want to have anything to do with the man who locked away his closest and possibly only true friend. The guard nodded in return and kept walking. He pushed himself off of the wall and continued towards his home.
A few months passed and Wells could only think of the look on Clarke’s face when he last saw her. He was angry and hurt. His grades were dropping in school and his father was too occupied to notice or care. As long as Wells came out at the other end as a politician he didn't care. A few days before the next visitation session his father called him into their dining area to talk. He didn't look up from what he was reading as he spoke.
“I've arranged for you to meet with Clarke again. I know you are still upset about her arrest but she made her choice. I won't discuss that topic any further”
It was always this way with his father. He'd make some declaration and then disregard any response Wells had. At this point in his life, he was used to it. His father was chancellor and had always kept him at an arms length. He didn't doubt that his father loved him but he sometimes doubted he cared what happened in his life. Wells responded to his father by nodding and the expected 'Yes sir” and went back into his room. He thought about skipping the visitation but he really wanted to see her. A couple of months had passed, maybe she'd eased up a bit. He knew that was a silly thought but he clung to it. He held it close to his heart as the next couple of days went on.
He was wrong. He was so wrong and he wanted to turn around and leave immediately. Regret was the first thing he felt, followed by a horrible guilt as she walked into the tiny, cold room. Clarkes face fell the second she saw him, it actually fell. She'd expected someone else to visit her and she was not pleased that he was there. He swallowed hard and tried to fight back the sorrow that tore at his every muscle. Again they sat in silence. There wasn't anything he could say to her to ease her pain and that killed him. He only ever wanted to see her happy. Her happiness was more important to him than his own. It was one of his character flaws, as Clarke liked to joke. Or like she used to joke. He didn't say anything this time. He just stood up and walked out of the room. Anything he said would just bring pain or anger into Clarke’s world and he couldn't do that to her.
Walking back to his home was painful in a different way this time. He felt like throwing up for making such a huge mistake. As soon as he got home he went into his room and fell asleep. When his father tapped on his door hours later, he ignored him and rolled over in bed. He couldn't stop thinking about Clarke and what he needed to do to fix this thing that was beyond repair. Seeing her again wouldn't be an option. The pain his second visit caused was unforgivable. Clarke needed to move on and if he visited her every month she would have a constant reminder of what happened. Or what she thought had happened.
Months went on and Wells continued to go to school. His grades returned to normal. He watched the movies he'd planned to show Clarke and he did the things they used to do. Try as he might, he couldn't bring his world back to normal. He missed her. They had so many shared memories. Almost everything reminded him of her. Every dinner with his father reminded him of why they were separate. She was a part of his heart and he knew she felt the same way. It wasn't a romantic feeling, this connection they had. No, it was one forged by years of laughter and emotions that they'd kept to each other. They were each a part of the others sum of shared experiences. Without the other they were missing something they'd never be able to replace. He knew he couldn't fix that hole without giving her a deeper wound so he was content to live with his. She'd move on. She had a new hatred to replace him. He was stuck in a repetitive cycle of unfounded guilt and a loss that only hurt worse as life went on. Sleeping never came easy for him but he welcomed it because he usually dreamed about Clarke and all the times they spent together.
Darkness, nothing but darkness surrounded him. He ran through it, trying to find an escape. The void seemed to grow darker and he called out for someone, anyone, to take him from it. Suddenly he saw a speck of light. Turning in its direction, he felt a new sense of purpose. It grew brighter and brighter until it was too much for him to focus on and he had to cover his eyes. He slowed his pace to a walk and continued. A voice stopped him in his tracks. It was full of venom and he was scared to find its source. He lowered his arm and saw her face. It wasn't the Clarke he usually saw in his dreams. This wasn't the kind girl who fought off bullies for him. It wasn't the girl he worshipped as a child and respected as his friend. This was the new Clarke. The one created because of a betrayal she could never truly know about. He reached out to her and his voice changed to his fathers as he tried to get her to forgive him.
Wells was ripped from his nightmare by the sound of angry, hushed whispers. “That’s why we need to send them to the ground Thelonious. You don't want to sign the order to cull and we are running out of options.” He recognized the voice of his dads friend Kane. “I understand the situation and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to preserve our people.” His fathers voice wasn't as strong and commanding as he uttered those words. He heard Kane sigh. “Then I'll start making the preparations. I'm told it will only take a few days to get everything ready to send the prisoners to the ground.” Wells heart stopped as he realized what they were talking about. They couldn't be serious. He'd heard his father talking about it before but he never thought they'd actually do it. They couldn't. The ground wasn't safe, it hadn’t even been a hundred years since the bombs dropped. They had no way of knowing if the world was even inhabitable. He realized then, why they were doing it. The prisoners were disposable. Sure they had families but most of them were just waiting for their deaths. The ark called it humane but in reality prison was a death row of sorts. It was rare for a kid to turn 18 and be pardoned for something they did. Wells didn't know what to do. A year had passed since Clarke was locked away and there wasn't a way to get her out of prison. She was only a month away from turning 18 and since her mother was on the council he'd figured she would be pardoned. Now she was going to be sent to Earth where she would die. He couldn't stop that but maybe he could do something else. He needed to protect her, she was his best friend even if she didn't believe that anymore. There was only one thing he could do and his stomach turned at the thought. He needed to get arrested and he needed to it quickly.
“'Your son was caught stealing'. I told the guards there must have been a mistake, my son would never do something like that. They assured me it was you and now here we are. Are you going to say anything or are you just going to sit there in silence” His fathers voice was filled with anger, something Wells wasn't that accustomed to. He ignored his father, there was nothing he could say. Thelonious put his hands on the table and dipped his head. “You've made your choice then.” After a few minutes he stood up and adjusted his coat. Wells couldn't read anything off of his fathers face. It was a blank slate, void of any emotion. “Wells Jaha you are hereby sentenced to prison where you will serve out your sentence until your eighteenth birthday. At the time of your eighteenth birthday you will then be granted a trial where your crime will be reviewed. If the council sees that you have changed your ways, you will be pardoned. If not you will be sentenced to death.” He gestured to the guards and left the room without saying another word. Wells wasn't surprised. He was used to the disappointment and lack of emotion. The guards took him to his cell and closed the door behind him. He was alone but he'd been alone for so long it didn't really feel any different. There was a small window and he looked through it as he took a seat on the bed. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Maybe he should feel differently about this situation. Clarke wouldn't be happy when she saw him but he couldn't let her go down there alone. Not if it meant dying alone. He had no idea what she was like after all of this time. It was almost a year since he'd last seen her. If this plan hadn't been put into motion he was planning on attending her review to plead her case. That was his original plan. He didn't really have one now. All he had to work with was a knowledge of Earth and some skills needed for survival. His education had provided that at least.
Guards entered his room a few days later and strapped a cuff to his wrist. He didn't fight them and he tried to put on a brave face as they led him down the halls of the sky box. Other prisoners were being led out with him. A few yelled taunts and curses. More tried to get away from their guards to attack him. He could hardly blame them and at this point, he didn't care. The guards had the kids line up to board the drop ship. He followed their instructions and tried to get others to do the same. The ship was cold and it had a rusty odor. The guards led him to his seat and showed him how to buckle himself in. The other prisoners were talking and laughing A lot of them knew each other from the months or even years spent in the sky box. He'd only been there a day or two and the guards hadn't bothered to let him out. It was probably for his own good. The voices grew louder and he looked over at the entrance to see what had their attention. The guards were carrying in Clarke. No doubt she put up a fight and had to be sedated. That was the Clarke he knew. They sat her down next to him in a seat that was left empty. Once they had her buckled in one turned to him. “Your father couldn't be here to say goodbye. He gave us orders to seat her next to you.” Wells nodded at them. He was shaking in anticipation. Clarke wasn't going to to be happy when she woke up. He watched her sleep and thought about a time when they'd fall asleep leaning on each other after a long day. Sleep was the only time she ever looked at peace. Every moment she spent awake was a moment she filled his world with life. She was always a force of emotion that swallowed everything she came across. His throat tightened as he swallowed and he prayed he'd get a chance to see her bring life into this dark world they were headed towards.