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Guilty Love

Summary:

"Porco, I know you have a long, complicated love story with Pieck. But love shouldn't be complicated."

Is it really that simple? The fact that he loves her and she loves him, is that enough reason for them to be together?
Will everything be alright if they stay the way they are now, or will they lose each other if they want something more of what they have now?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: The Dream

Chapter Text

It was a typical Friday night in Marley City. The rain had just stopped pouring, leaving the street wet still. The air was cold. Perfect weather for a cup of coffee. Or a glass of beer, at least that’s what Pieck thought. It was Friday night anyway.

“Niccolo, one more, please!” Pieck Finger raised her hand, asking the bartender for one more glass of beer.

“Huh, it’s nice to be young, eh? You can just drink every night without feeling sick afterward.” Niccolo said while giving Pieck another shot.

“Come on, Niccolo, you’re not that old!” Pieck smirked. “Besides, I don’t drink every night, you know. Stop exaggerating!”

“Yeah, right…” Sasha Braus, the other bartender, shouted. “You’re lucky we’re not in the training season, Pieck.”

Pieck sighed. She knew Sasha was right. She indeed liked to drink a lot. Especially these days when the days were plain. The exam week was over and the hiking club that she was in was currently on hiatus. She and Sasha were on the same team by the way.

And these days Pieck spent a lot of time in the bar Sasha working part-time.

“Why are you alone?” Sasha asked while looking around looking for someone. “Where’s Porco?”

“Ah, don’t even get me started!” Pieck gushed. She sounded a little bit drunk already. “He’s been dipping his head on that little project he’s working on with Armin. What a nerd!”

Sasha laughed. “Poor Pieck. Dumped by his boyfriend over a little science project!”

Pieck just sighed. Again, Sasha was right. That nerdy boy Porco prefers to spend Friday night doing a college assignment than going out with her. What a sad love story. Except that it wasn’t a love story at all and Sasha wasn’t completely right. Porco was not her boyfriend.

“Does everybody always think he’s my boyfriend…?” Pieck mumbled.

“Anyway, Pieck, don’t go home too late tonight,” Sasha said. “Mikasa and Annie had a full training session today, they might go to sleep early because they’re too tired.”

“I can just go home with you after the bar closes.”

“I’m not going home tonight,” Sasha smirked. She then grabbed Niccolo who was standing beside her. “We’re spending the weekend in the countryside and we’re leaving tonight!”

“What?”

“Uh-hm.” Sasha nodded with a grin on her face. “So, you better finish up now so we can close the bar early!”

Pieck sighed. Again. God knows how many times she’s been sighing tonight.

“What an annoying couple!”

Pieck hurriedly finished up her glass of beer before paying the bill. Just when she was about to step out of the bar, a man came.

“Hi, Pieck!” The man greeted her.


Knock! Knock! Knock!

The knock on the door broke Porco’s concentration. He put down the pen, closed his book, and got up to open the door.

“Were you studying in the basement or something? What took you so long to open the door?!” Pieck stormed into Porco’s dorm room.

“Yeah, please, come in, Pieck…” Porco shook his head in annoyance. He stepped back into the room and found the girl already lying down on his bed. “Comfortable yet?”

Pieck didn’t care about Porco’s annoyance and sarcasm. She felt drunk. Her head hurt a lot. She suddenly regretted going out and drinking tonight.

Porco, still annoyed as ever, shook his head again. This was a very familiar situation. Pieck came down to his dorm whenever she wished to. Sometimes drunk, sometimes heartbroken, sometimes just bored. But most of the time, Porco always opened the door for her.

“Drink up,” Porco handed her a glass of water.

Pieck got up and sat on the bed. They were now sitting side by side.

“How many times have I told you not to go out and drink by yourself?” Porco asked, a bit furious. “Do you know how dangerous it is to be drunk alone out in the middle of the night?”

“I asked you to come, didn’t I?” Pieck protested. “Besides, I wasn’t wandering around. I was at Niccolo’s and went straight here.”

“Sorry. I just don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“It’s ok,” Pieck replied. “I wasn’t alone anyway.”

“Huh?”

“I was with Jean.”

“What?”

“I was just leaving and he came. So, we had another round.”

“Jean Kirstein?”

“Is there any other Jean that we know?”

“What was he doing in there?” Porco sounded a bit furious.

“I don’t know… he came to a bar, so maybe he planned on having a drink?” Pieck rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“No, I mean, why would he ask you to drink with you?”

“I told you, we just bumped into each other.”

“Then who was the one who initiated to drink together?”

“Why does it matter?”

“He was your ex-boyfriend!”

“So?”

“So???”

“Yeah, so what?”

“He might have ulterior motives asking you to drink together with him.”

“Pock, isn’t Jean one of your best buddies? Why are you talking about him like that?”

“Jean is a man after all.” Porco got sulky. “Besides, isn’t it weird to have a drink with your ex-boyfriend?”

Pieck lied down again. Too tired to answer Porco’s naggings.

“Hey, answer me,” Porco nagged at Pieck. But Pieck didn’t seem interested. Instead, she took out her phone and started scrolling on it.

Looking at her like that, Porco sulked. He got back to his desk and continued doing his assignment. Again, this was not the first time he faced a situation like this. Pieck with her loose personality, getting Porco on his nerves.

“Anyway, take my jacket when you get home. It must be chilly out there.” Porco said.

“Oh, I’m sleeping over.”

“No, you’re not.” Porco turned around in his seat.

“Sasha went out with Niccolo. Annie and Mikasa were already sleeping. And I don’t have a spare key to the dorm.”

“Well, maybe try knocking on the door?”

“I tried for 30 minutes already and it was freezing out there!”

“Try calling them?”

“No answer.”

“Well, you can’t just go into my dorm every time you’re locked out of your dorm. I keep telling you to get a spare key but you never listened!” Porco protested. “Besides, I don’t have the energy to sleep on the floor tonight. My body aches from sitting all day.”

“Then sleep on the bed with me.”

“What?!” Porco was surprised by Pieck’s easy answer.

This time, Porco got her attention. She put down her phone and turned to him. She lied on her side with her hand propping her head.

“Porco,” she called his name softly. “Are you sick?”

“Huh?”

“Are you in a lot of stress?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I’m just saying… you’ve been so tense since the moment I stepped into this room. What’s gotten into you?”

Porco shook his head with his mouth open. Couldn’t believe what he just heard. Did Pieck just ask him what’s wrong after she stormed into his room unexpectedly in the middle of the night? This girl is really something, Porco thought to himself.

“Fine. Do whatever you want.” Porco gave in. “But you’re leaving first thing in the morning. I don’t want anyone seeing you sleep in here like the last time.”

Pieck smirked. That last time that Porco was talking about was a few weeks ago. Pieck came to pick up something and saw Porco was cleaning up the room. She ended up helping him and as a reward, Porco bought them some chicken and beer. They got too tired and drunk. Pieck ended up sleeping there. It was the first time she slept in Porco’s dorm. The next morning Porco’s teammates came and saw them sleeping together on the floor. Full clothes on, by the way, and nothing happened. At least that’s what they remembered.

“Thanks, Pokko.” Pieck smiled.

“Quit calling me that.”

“Why? It’s cute.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to sound cute.”

“Why? You are cute. I’ve always called you that since you were a cute little boy back then—”

“Well, I’m not a cute little boy anymore, am I? And don’t start talking like you’re older than me. You were only born two months earlier than me.”

Pieck laughed looking at Porco nagging at her. “Porco Galliard, that’s exactly why I call you that. You’re so cute.”

Porco didn’t reply anymore. That girl never ran out of comebacks for him. He could never win over her. Not a day in the twenty-two years of their life.


White. Clean. Bright. That was all Porco could see when he opened his eyes.

“Where am I…?”

“Porco… Porco…” vaguely, he heard someone calling his name. “Porco… it’s okay… it’s okay… please, be happy…”

Porco tried to open his eyes, but it was so hard. His eyes were so heavy. He wanted to see the person calling him. He knew that voice. The voice of a man who wasn’t unfamiliar at all. But he couldn’t. It was so hard to open his eyes.

Vaguely, he could see a man standing near himself. He looked a lot like him. His body, his posture, even his face. He tried hard to remember who that man was, why he looked so similar to him, but he couldn’t recognize him.

“Porco… it’s okay… it’s okay…” another voice, this one was a woman. Again, that voice was very familiar. He tried to look for the woman, but he couldn’t see her.

“Porco! Porco!” suddenly a different voice called him. It was loud and clear this time. “Get up, man! What are you doing sleeping on the floor?!”

Blash! Porco’s eyes were wide open all of a sudden. His heart was beating fast. He looked around and found himself sleeping on the floor of his dorm room. God, he was just dreaming!

“Are you alright?” It was Armin Arlert, his classmate. He’s been there for 10 minutes already, trying to wake him up. He held Porco’s hand and helped him get up off the floor. “Why are you sleeping on the floor? You could’ve caught a cold!”

“Uh…” Porco still tried to find his words. He looked around. The bed was empty and tidied up. Did Pieck leave already? Was she even here? Was he just dreaming about her too last night? What was he dreaming about just now anyway?

It was still early in the morning and his head was already full of weird questions.

“Guys, breakfast is ready!” another voice shouted from the kitchen. It was Eren Jaeger, another classmate of Porco’s. He has been making breakfast since they arrived.

Porco, finally regained his consciousness, quickly tidied up the pillow and blanket he used to sleep on the floor so Eren and Armin could set up a little table for their breakfast.

“Sorry, guys, I must’ve fallen asleep while doing the assignment.”

“Armin, please don’t involve him in any more of your science projects,” Eren said. “You guys are already top in class. There’s no need to do extra assignments.”

Armin laughed hearing Eren’s chatter. He was neither concerned about Porco nor jealous of the two being the top students.

“Are you okay, Pock?” Armin asked Porco who seemed to be enjoying his breakfast in silence. “You could’ve caught a cold sleeping on the floor like that.”

Porco just nodded. Busy chewing up the omelet Eren cooked.

“Were you dreaming about Pieck?”

“What?!!!” Porco almost spitted out his omelet. “No, Armin! Why would you say that?”

“Really…? Did I hear it wrong…?”

“Wh-what did you hear?”

“I thought I heard you calling Pieck’s name when I tried to wake you up.”

“No! You must’ve heard it wrong!” Porco panicked. “Why would I call her name??”

“Was she here last night?” Armin looked around the room.

Porco got more panicked. “N-no. I was all alone. All night. No one was here. Just me.”

“Then why did you sleep on the floor?”

“I-I was…”

“Huh?”

“I told you I must’ve fallen asleep when doing the assignment!”

“Really…?”

“Ack, shut up you too!” Eren suddenly shouted. “Hurry up and finish this. We need to head out in ten minutes, otherwise, the others are going to be mad at us!”

“Ah, right…” Armin agreed.

Porco sighed. He continued eating his breakfast while still feeling nervous. He peeked around, trying to look for some evidence that Pieck was here.

Was she really here, or was he just dreaming?