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Peter thinks a lot about legacy these days.
He thinks about it at fourteen when Uncle Ben dies in his arms and he’s one of the last two Parkers to remain standing. He thinks about it after the Blip when people try to shoe-horn him into being Iron Man’s legacy when he feels that he barely knew Tony Stark.
But he really starts dwelling on the concept of legacy after May tells him that with great power comes great responsibility and then also dies in his arms. He thinks about it when reading the plaque under her picture at FEAST that says ‘When You Help Someone You Help Everyone’. May planted seeds of kindness into the world and she’ll never get to see the garden that blooms because of her.
It’s a big legacy to live up to; one that, in his darkest hours, Peter thinks he might not be able to.
Logically, he knows that May was human, that she made mistakes but, for the life of him, Peter can’t remember a single one. All he can remember is her endless patience and support and the way she would give everything she had to help those who needed it. He ponders this while on his seventeenth hour of a grueling patrol when he starts to lose his patience and when he gives his last few bucks and a FEAST business card to a wan looking kid, and always, endlessly, when he visits her grave.
For a long time after the memory spell he’s alone with only the memories of May and his friends for company and there’s little to do but think. It doesn’t take long for Peter to come to the conclusion that he is May’s legacy, that it’s up to him to make sure that her memory lives on as Spider-Man but, even more importantly, as Peter Parker.
In fact, it’s how he runs into Ned and MJ again. Quite literally in this case.
Peter hops around to the different FEAST locations in the boroughs, trying to volunteer at least a few times a week. He’s just walking into the Midtown location and he isn’t paying attention to where he’s going, too busy looking at a text from Captain Watanabe about some Spidey business, when he crashes into Ned and sends them both to the floor.
“I’m so sorry!” Peter says, scrambling to pick up the pile of papers scattered across the floor. “I wasn’t looking where I was go-,” he chokes on his words.
“No big deal man,” Ned says with a bright smile, accepting the papers from Peter’s limp grasp. His eyes narrow just a bit and he gives Peter a second cursory look. “You okay? You’re a little pale.”
“Fine,” Peter forces out, stumbling to his feet and planning to high-tail it out the door. “Sorry again!”
Ned reaches out and steadies Peter with a hand to his shoulder, looking concerned now. “It’s really fine,” he promises, still assessing. “I’m Ned, by the way. What’s your name? You look really familiar.”
Peter’s trying to figure out his next move - does he tell the truth? Does he lie? - when MJ joins them, taking the folder of - what Peter realizes belatedly are volunteer applications - away from him. “I wondered where you went,” she says, flipping open the folder and straightening the papers while giving Peter a curious look. “Who’s your friend?”
“I’m Peter,” Peter says, his tongue feels thick and dry in his mouth. “I’m a uh. Volunteer.”
“Us too!” Ned says excitedly. “We’re just starting today! Maybe you can show us the ropes?”
Peter can only gulp nervously, he’s avoided his previous best friends for years now and he just. Doesn’t know what to do. But he looks up at May’s photo - a copy of which is framed in all New York FEAST locations - and he knows what she would want him to do. So he says: “I’d be happy to.”
Both Ned and Michelle follow his gaze to the portrait of May. “Did you know her?” Michelle asks.
It takes all Peter has to not laugh or cry or just fall apart. Did he know her? “You could say that.”
“She was my mom’s best friend,” Ned says, smiling sadly at the photo. “We’ve been out of the city for a while for college but we both really wanted to give back in her memory you know? She always used to say that if you helped someone-“
“You helped everyone,” Peter finishes, trying not to just melt into a puddle of tears. ‘See May?’ He thinks. ‘Look at what you inspire.’
Of course not too much later Ned and MJ figure him out completely and know the truth about May and who she was to him. They’re, quite understandably, mad at him for not finding them directly after the spell to explain everything but that is overshadowed by their happiness to have him back in their lives.
For a while, everything is pretty perfect. Or as perfect as it can be in Peter Parker’s life anyway.
“Sorry I’m late!” Peter apologizes, half out of breath as he falls into the chair opposite of MJ. “Got caught up on some last minute stuff at FEAST.”
“Its fine,” MJ assures but she’s still giving him the critical look she always gives him when she’s trying to sus him out. “Are you okay? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“I’ve slept!” He protests, giving the menu a quick glance but not taking any of it in. “I’ve just been a little busy this week.”
Michelle bites her lip but doesn’t keep pushing him. They, instead, talk about the paper she’s writing for her astrophysics internship that she hopes will get published before she applies for her doctorate. They talk about Peter’s application for the Master’s program at ESU and they avoid talking about why he isn’t studying with them at MIT.
Lunch is relaxing and Peter leaves it feeling refreshed and ready to take on the remainder of the week. Outside, Michelle gives him a hug and whispers in his ear “You can take time for you, you know? No one will blame you for taking a break.”
Peter thinks about legacy. About ‘when you help someone you help everyone’. About ‘with great power comes great responsibility’. He thinks about planting his own seeds to make May’s garden even grander.
“Yeah,” he lies. “I know.”
And he keeps going. He keeps pushing himself as Spider-Man but more so as Peter Parker because he has to till the soil and water the plants to keep them healthy and to help them grow bigger. He’s a Parker first and foremost, the last one standing, and he has a responsibility.
In fact, Peter keeps building May’s legacy until he can’t anymore.
After Titan and aliens and a horror-show of a fight at the Avenger’s Compound Peter realized that his life as Spider-Man wasn’t sustainable. One day he wouldn’t be strong enough or fast enough or good enough to win and that would be that. It had terrified him for a long time but he likes to think he’s come to terms with it.
Of course, Peter also always thought he’d be going out as Spider-Man and not as Peter Parker.
He’s taking a rare night off to see a movie with Ned and Michelle and they’re walking back to Ned’s for coffee when Peter’s Spidey Sense sends a shiver down his spine. He’s grown a lot since he was bitten by the spider and he’s learned to listen to his senses so he expands his hearing even though he isn’t Spider-Man right now.
‘You have a gift. You have a power. And with great power must also come great responsibility.’
“Peter?” Ned is asking him, but Peter is too focused on the sounds of a struggle he can hear close by. It’s almost second nature at this point to head in that direction, leaving his friends in the dust behind him.
He’s just turning the corner of a little alley/side street combo when he walks into the knife surprising the mugger just as much as he surprises himself.
There’s a second that they just stare at each other in surprise and shock before the man rips his knife jaggedly and painfully from Peter’s chest and pushes him down onto the ground.
Peter doesn’t even try to catch himself.
His hands are wet with his own blood and he can’t take a full breath and he can feel himself bleeding out with every heartbeat. Dimly he thinks back to his high school biology class and learning the vascular system - there’s a lot of veins and arteries in a chest.
“Peter!” Michelle’s voice is frantic and she’s pressing her hoodie into his chest and applying pressure, her hands on top of his, while Ned frantically talks to an emergency operator on Peter’s other side. His free hand is also pushing down on the hoodie so Peter can feel both of them, their fingers tangled together.
And he thinks about legacy again as he struggles for breath.
His parents planted a garden and then Ben added more and May continued to nurture it in their memory. Made it live on so no one would forget them. And Peter tried to do the same for her. In fact, it’s fitting that he’s bleeding out as Peter Parker and not as Spider-Man because Peter Parker is the legacy that he wants to pass on.
After all, it's the one that was left to him.
“It’s okay,” he chokes around a mouthful of frothy blood. Michelle and Ned are both crying above him but they aren’t begging him not to go even if they are still trying to keep as much blood in his body as possible. “It’s okay.”
Peter thinks about ‘when you help someone you help everyone’ as his vision darkens and tunnels. He thinks about May working tirelessly to raise money for homeless families after the Blip and all the food drives and opening new shelters and how proud he was of her.
The hands on his face feel like hers and he isn’t afraid to die.
He has tilled the garden and watered it. He’s planted his own seeds to support the one’s his parents and Ben and May all left behind and he knows he’s leaving it in good hands.
There’s not a single person he would trust with the Parker legacy more than his best friends.