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Everything seems off as Yuri walks around the rink. All the lights are on, but everything seems fuzzy around the edges and nobody seems to be there but him. He bends to lace up his skates, but as he looks down he remembers he's pregnant. Far more pregnant than he remembers being. The room shifts again and he's in the locker room, but where the shower used to be there's a big plastic tub instead. He climbs in as if on instinct and feels pressure like he needs to push. He thinks to himself that it wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it was going to be as a figure he hadn't noticed before lifts up a blanket wrapped bundle.
Yuri is still sitting up in the water when he realizes it's Yakov. Yakov approaches him with the bundle and asks "Are you ready to meet your son?" Yuri nods and reaches his arms out for the baby. As he settles him against his chest he pulls back the blanket to get a better look and realizes that what he thought was his baby is actually a cat wrapped in a towel and he startles awake.
"What the fuck?" Yuri says as he stares up at the ceiling in his room. He drops one hand down to rest on his belly, just making sure that his baby is still right where they're supposed to be.
"What's wrong?" Otabek mumbles half asleep as he wraps his arms around Yuri to snuggle in closer.
"Just a weird dream."
"What kind of weird dream?"
"I dreamed I gave birth in a hot tub at the rink for some reason and Yakov was my midwife, but when he introduced me to our son, it was just a cat in a towel."
Otabek’s brows furrow and he blinks at Yuri for a moment before a smile spreads across his face. "So you think it's a boy?"
"Really? That's what you got out of all that?"
"Well I know it's not a cat, and the rest is probably just because you watched that water birth video before bed last night and it got mixed in with stuff that's familiar."
“I guess we’ll probably know in a few hours,” Yuri says as he rolls over to look at the clock. It’s still way too early to get up. He tries to go back to sleep, but it’s impossible to get comfortable between his sore hips and his full bladder. It’s been like this every night lately. It takes forever to get comfortable and by the time he manages it he has to pee. Otabek is already lightly snoring behind him as Yuri gets out of bed to walk to the bathroom.
Yuri remembers when he could sleep anywhere, at any time. He should have appreciated his ability to pass out instantly more back when he still had it.
His excitement about his upcoming doctor’s appointment isn’t helping matters any when it comes to being able to sleep tonight. In the morning he’s going to have an ultrasound and get a good look at just how much the baby has grown since the last time he got to see them on the screen.
He finishes up in the bathroom and swings by the kitchen for a drink of water before returning to bed to start all over again trying to get comfortable.
—-------------
It feels like he has just gotten to sleep when he feels gentle fingers brushing his hair out of his face. “Come on, it’s time to get ready. I let you sleep as long as I could.”
Yuri stretches and reluctantly gets out of bed to begin his daily ritual of trying to find something to wear that still fits. It takes a few tries, but eventually he settles on a pair of track pants that he stole from Otabek a couple weeks ago that are a little short on him but slightly bigger in the waist than his own pants, and a T-shirt that’s long enough to still cover his entire belly.
Otabek wanders back into the room as he is pulling his socks on and glances over the pile of discarded clothes on the bed. “I know you don’t want to, but I think it might be time to look at maternity clothes again with lower standards, or at least buy some regular clothes a couple sizes up.”
Yuri looks down at his bare ankles and knows Otabek has a point. He won’t be able to put off replacing his wardrobe forever. “We can look again after my appointment.”
Yuri follows Otabek into the kitchen where there’s a plate of pancakes waiting for him. He tries to fight off the wave of disappointment that it isn’t what he really wants to eat. The cravings are starting to get pretty intense.
“What’s wrong?” Otabek asks as Yuri pushes the food around his plate with a sigh.
“I want Katsudon.”
Otabek raises an eyebrow. “He’s probably at practice with Mila right now, but I’m sure you can call him.”
“No, not that Katsudon, the food.”
“Oh, right. I’ve never made it before and I doubt we have all the ingredients, but I’ll see what I can do,” Otabek says, already out of his seat and rifling through the cabinets.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you already made breakfast and we have to leave soon anyway. I told you you don’t have to drop everything every time I have a craving.”
“But I want to, and it’s your birthday.”
Yuri hasn’t really thought about his birthday much this year. Twenty-one isn’t really a big deal, and he’s been a little preoccupied with other things. “Let’s just eat this so we can go see our baby.”
Otabek nods and returns to the table. He wouldn’t have had time to cook again anyway after letting Yuri sleep until the last minute.
They get to the doctor’s office with just a few minutes to spare. The anatomy scan will happen first, and then Yuri will see his doctor for the rest of his check up. This scan will look at every part of their baby to make sure everything is developing normally, and despite everything seeming fine at previous appointments, Yuri can’t help but feel nervous about it.
Otabek wraps one arm around Yuri’s shoulders and rests his other hand on Yuri’s belly as they sit in the waiting room surrounded by other expecting couples. When Yuri’s name is called they both follow the nurse down the hall to a dimly lit room. Yuri sits on the exam table and Otabek pulls a chair over next to him from across the room and they’re told that the sonographer will be with them in a few minutes.
Otabek takes advantage of their brief alone time to place a kiss on Yuri’s baby bump. “Be good so the doctor can see everything she needs to see,” he says to the baby.
“So we haven’t really talked about if we want a boy or a girl,” Yuri says.
“It’s not like we get to pick,” Otabek says with a shrug.
“That’s true I guess. I still want to know though.”
“Then hopefully they aren’t feeling shy.”
They’re interrupted by the door swinging open as the sonographer walks in. “Hi papas, are you ready to take a look at your baby?”
“Definitely,” Yuri says as he leans back on the exam table. Otabek holds his hand as his shirt is pushed up to reveal his belly and cold gel is squirted on.
“This is an important scan, there are a lot of measurements to get through today,” the sonographer says as she picks up the transducer and flips the screen around to face them. “Before we get started, there’s a good chance I’ll be able to tell if you’re having a boy or a girl. If I can, do you want to know?”
“Yes,” they answer practically in unison.
“Let’s get to it then.”
She places the transducer against Yuri’s belly and it takes a moment for the image to come into focus. Yuri feels Otabek squeeze his hand as a profile view of a tiny face pops up on screen. Last time they could sort of see that the figure on the screen looked like a baby, but only if they squinted. This time there's no doubt.
In Yuri’s unprofessional opinion, everything that should be there looks present and accounted for. As the baby wiggles around while measurements are taken, Yuri tries to compare the feeling of each movement with what is happening on the screen. What he previously thought was a good strong kick is actually the baby rolling over, actual kicks are still barely stronger than a flutter, still too weak to feel from the outside.
"Kidneys look good," the sonographer says as she moves the transducer to get a better look at the baby's lower half. "If you look right here, you can see that you're having a little girl."
Yuri chances a glance over at Otabek, hoping to not see any disappointment on his face. He seemed happy last night when he thought Yuri was convinced the baby was a boy. He quickly realizes there's no need to worry as he sees Otabek still looking at the screen with watery eyes. Those aren't sad tears.
Seeing her like this makes the baby feel so much more real. Knowing how much she already looks like a tiny little person and watching as each little flutter he feels corresponds with a movement on the screen. She really is growing fast since the last time he saw her.
Everything looks perfect as the sonographer finishes up and gives Yuri some paper towels to wipe off the gel before handing over a stack of pictures from the sonogram.
The visit with his actual doctor is pretty uneventful. He's given the all clear to travel to World’s in Toronto to watch Otabek skate at the end of the month, and told that a spring visit to Almaty shouldn't be a problem, but it would be best not to wait too long, especially if they're planning to stay for a couple weeks like they usually do. He’s also given information on each of the local hospitals so he can start to think through where he would like to give birth so a plan can be made at his next appointment.
As they leave the office and step into the parking lot, Otabek pulls him into a wordless hug that is both tight and gentle. He doesn't need to say anything, Yuri knows what he means.
"Let's go get me some clothes with room for her to grow," Yuri says. He's been putting off visiting the maternity shop for a few weeks since his disappointing first visit, but it's time to suck it up.
When they get there, Yuri is immediately reminded why he left without buying anything on his first attempt. Most of the clothes in the store are for women, since they make up the majority of pregnant people. There are two racks pushed into one corner for men's clothes and they're all very plain.
"Maybe if you get a couple things to hold you over we can figure out what size you need and order more online when we get home," Otabek says as they sort through the meager selection.
Yuri picks out a pair of jeans and a couple plain shirts and takes them into the dressing room. He doesn't exactly look fashionable, but the belly panel on the jeans is far more comfortable than any of his pants at home. He pulls a solid red t-shirt over his head to complete the look and reminds himself that it's just for a few more months. He can dress like the world's most boring human for a little while if he has to.
The draping of the fabric lays over his baby bump in a way that seems to emphasize it. There would be no mistaking him for fat now. His instinct before has been to downplay the bump, but after seeing his baby today, Yuri can’t imagine trying to hide her. He might change his mind about how he feels about being so visible tomorrow, but today it feels kind of nice.
He steps out of the dressing room to show Otabek and sees him typing something into his phone. Otabek looks up at him and puts his phone back in his pocket. "I know it isn't what you wanted, but it looks good on you."
"It's not that bad, I think I'll just get this in a couple different colors and then see what I can order online. There's probably a specialty store out there somewhere for pregnant men who aren't boring."
"Whatever you want," Otabek says, leaning up to kiss Yuri on the cheek. "Victor and Yuuri are coming over for dinner tonight."
"I thought we were doing my birthday thing on Saturday."
"We are. Yuuri is going to show me how to make katsudon."
"I love you," Yuri says, feeling his mouth start to water at just the thought of the dish he has been craving all day.
"I know," Otabek says as he reaches out to rest his hand on Yuri’s belly for just a moment before Yuri turns to walk back into the changing room to put the clothes he came to the store in back on.
They pay for the outfits Yuri picked and then head home. When they get there, there's a package waiting in front of their door. Yuri rolls his eyes when he notices it’s postmarked from Canada. Every year since JJ got his address he sends something ridiculous on his birthday. Last year it was a plastic tiara and the year before that it was a signed poster.
“Let’s see what it is this time,” Yuri says as he sits the package down on the table and begins to rip off the tape. Inside are two wrapped packages. He unwraps the larger one first, inside is a pregnancy support pillow, vacuum sealed so it will fit inside the box. It has a note from JJ that says Isabella told him to send it. Yuri is surprised by the thoughtfulness, he might actually have to say thank you this year.
He opens the second package and finds a pillowcase for the pillow that is bright pink and covered in pictures of cartoon kittens doing ballet. As he unfolds the pillowcase a tiny Canadian flag onesie falls out. “That’s more like it,” Yuri says as he looks down at the contents of the second package.
Otabek looks over his shoulder and laughs. “At least it’s something useful, I’ll go put this with the rest of her clothes,” he says as he picks the onesie up off the table.
“You can’t seriously plan to dress her in that.”
“It never hurts to have extra clothes. If it makes you feel any better, she’s probably just going to poop on it.”
“It does, actually.” Yuri says as he breaks the seal on the pillow’s packaging so it can start to fluff up. He carries the pillow into the bedroom, debating whether to put the ridiculous case on it or just leave it uncovered. It really does look comfortable.
There’s a knock on the door and Yuri can hear Otabek answering it. He steps into the living room and sees Otabek following Yuuri into the kitchen with a bag of groceries as Victor makes himself comfortable on the couch. He looks exhausted. “Rough practice?” Yuri asks.
“I didn’t even go. It was just Mila today so Yuuri went alone and I stayed home to get some rest.”
He sure doesn’t look like he got any rest. He has dark circles under his eyes and he’s looking a little green. Yuri usually only sees him like this the morning after a big party, not on a Wednesday evening. “You better not be contagious, if I end up throwing up again I’m going to be pissed.”
“If this is contagious, I caught it from you,” Victor says before covering his mouth with his hand like he didn’t mean to say what just came out.
“Wait, really?”
“Forget I said anything, it’s still really early. We haven’t told anyone else yet.”
“Copycat,” Yuri says. He knows it’s not true, but he can’t help but push Victor’s buttons when he has the chance.
Victor huffs. “I doubt you’ve been planning this for more than two years.”
That’s a pretty normal time frame, but Yuri is sure that doesn’t make it any easier. He looked into it once, long before he ever found out he was pregnant, around the time he realized that any partner he ended up with was likely to be a man as well. Most couples start with a physical exam to see if either is even capable of conception since only about half of men are, and then the one who is deemed to have higher odds starts tracking his fertility for several months. It’s rare to conceive during this time frame, but it gives the doctor the information needed to decide what to try next. Medications to try to force ovulation are the most common solution, followed by IVF using donor eggs, but some people try other things as well.
The whole process sounds like a massive pain in the ass. If having a baby a few years sooner than he planned means he gets to miss out on all that, Yuri is all for it. “So how early is early?” he asks.
“About six weeks. We’re waiting until we’ve seen the heartbeat before we tell Yuuri’s family, and the second trimester before we tell anyone else.”
“That is early. I didn’t even know until seven weeks.”
“You weren’t looking for it,” Victor says, leaning back against the couch pillows, “But I don’t know how you didn’t notice. This little one is the size of a grain of rice and already the center of my attention.”
Yuri cringes remembering the morning sickness he felt through his first trimester. He hasn’t thrown up in weeks now, but there was a time when he could barely keep anything down, and when he wasn’t puking all he wanted to do was sleep.
“That part gets better, just give it a few more weeks and you’ll have new problems instead.”
“I guess you’ll just have to tell me what to watch out for.”
After a while of just chatting while Victor looks through the ultrasound pictures Yuri brought home, Yuuri and Otabek come back into the living room to let them know that dinner is ready.
Yuri doesn’t waste any time rushing to the table for the first serving, and he’s pleased to realize that there will be enough to have leftovers later. He’s pretty sure he actually moans as he stuffs the first bite into his mouth. Yuuri stares at him with his eyebrows raised. “I guess you like it?”
“The baby wanted it,” Yuri says sheepishly, rubbing his belly for emphasis and slowing down to eat the rest of his meal like a person.
“It’s weird that she mostly craves your favorite foods,” Otabek jokes as he grabs his own portion and sits down at the table.
“She’s a good baby with good taste.”
“The best,” Otabek says with a grin.
Yuuri brings Victor a bowl of plain rice and a cup of ginger tea. Yuri doesn’t miss those early weeks at all, but they seem happy. “I’m afraid she’ll have to be our second favorite,” Victor says.
Yuuri gives him a look of surprise. “You told him?”
“It slipped.”
His actual celebration might not be for a few more days, but Yuri can’t imagine a more perfect birthday.