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Kyle had his suspicions before he found out. His roommate was one of the nicest people Kyle knew – well maybe not nicest, but definitely easiest to live with. He had a mean streak and a devil may care attitude, but he treated Kyle well and was borderline obsessively clean. He even cleaned up after Kyle sometimes, insisting that he didn’t mind and actually seemed to enjoy it. No one liked cleaning that much.
Kenny had made the joke once, maybe he’s actually a murderer. No one’s that flawless, and Kyle had laughed along until the news started reporting on a series of murders.
It had started out as muggings, in different places too, but then there were patterns. The guy had a calling card in the form of leaving behind a card from a deck. It was almost comically cliché. It would’ve been if it wasn’t for the fact people were being murdered.
Craig would disappear for long periods without much explanation, and Kenny’s joke didn’t seem like it was a joke anymore. Kyle began to wonder if Craig’s only flaw was that he was a serial killer.
He tried to talk himself down from the idea. Kyle watched a lot of serial killer documentaries, so every time he saw something that pinged in his mind, he tried to convince himself that he’d just watched too many recently. Buried himself in a rabbit hole and was seeing things that weren’t there.
Then Kyle found Craig in his room one day, a deck of cards spread out in front of him, while he picked one up and surveyed it. There were cards missing.
Craig didn’t seem to panic, but Kyle knew him well. He placed the card down slowly and turned to Kyle with wide eyes, looking a little like a startled rabbit. It was pretty ironic in hindsight seeing as he was anything but prey.
“I told you to knock before you come into my room.”
“Sorry,” Kyle’s eyes scanned across the deck, trying to pick out the missing cards, before landing back on Craig with a wobbly smile. “I just – I was going to go out to the shop, I wanted to know if you wanted anything.”
“I’m fine.”
He was curt. Usually Craig wasn’t that curt with him.
“Alright. I’ll let you get back...to it.”
He slammed the door shut and raced for his keys.
Dinner that night was tense. They didn’t speak while they watched some late night gameshow. The silence that settled over the room was suffocating. Kyle wondered if he should say something. Make a joke. It wasn’t like it was definitive proof, he hadn’t seen Craig murder anyone, but it also wasn’t the only sign.
Maybe if Kyle didn’t already suspect it, he would’ve chalked it off as Craig just being a bit weird with his organisational thing again.
He glanced over to Craig at one point, sat on the other side of the sofa. Craig was already looking at him.
Observing. Waiting. Making a decision.
The news came on. It was a report on the newest body, found in the next town over. Kyle panicked.
He turned off the TV.
As if that wasn’t so fucking obvious.
“What are you doing?”
“I...” he hesitated. “I didn’t think you’d want to watch it.”
He met Craig’s gaze again. Held it. Did his best to be brave.
Kyle made a decision in that moment. Craig was the best roommate he’d ever had. Clean, helpful, kind, incredibly attractive. If his only flaw was that he liked to go whack people periodically, then Kyle thought maybe he could live with that.
Part of his brain also questioned his sense of self preservation, but that wasn’t important. He smiled as genuine as he could as if trying to coax a cat into his lap.
“It’s just some report about that card killer. Not everyone likes to hear it.”
“We don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable,” Craig started with narrowed eyes. “But I like to hear it. It’s important to be informed.”
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. You know how many serial killer documentaries I’ve watched. I find it fascinating.”
Craig was silent for a beat. But then he snorted and the narrow-eyed gaze disappeared. Replaced by a lopsided smirk and a quirked eyebrow instead. “Yeah, and I still think it’s weird how into them you are.”
They didn’t ever acknowledge it out loud. Craig didn’t try to hide it, exactly, but he didn’t rub it in Kyle’s face. Once, he came home after a late night, and Kyle caught a spot of red on his shoe. He told Craig about it in the hallway to point it out. Casually, without stopping really, just a, you’ve got something on your shoe, I know how you like to keep things clean.
Once, Craig rang him from the car. Said he wasn’t going to be home that night, and could Kyle record the news for him so he could watch it when he got home. After that whenever Kyle was watching the news alone and it came up, he would set it to record for Craig to see later.
They never actually talked about it. Not for a few months, at least.
--
It was a particular dull week. Work had been dull. Nothing had happened. Every night they watched reruns of the same show. Kyle felt wiped, and it got to the point where he and Craig were sat on the couch in silence because he couldn’t bare another episode of The Good Place.
It had been raining all week. Heavily, too, so neither of them had left the house unless they had to.
Then Craig turned to him and asked a question, oh so innocently, with big eyes and what bordered on a pout.
“I’m bored out my mind. You don’t have anyone for me to...y’know.”
Kyle’s every nerve set alight.
He looked down at Craig. Craig’s ordinary, bored, simple expression on his ridiculously handsome face. Asked like such a casual request. Kyle’s breathing felt too fast. His eyes felt too wide. His heartbeat felt like he might be dying.
He licked his lips before responding with, “y’know...?”
“Yeah, y’know,” Craig finished the thought with actions. He swiped his thumb across his neck and stuck his tongue out as he made a sound which would’ve normally made Kyle laugh, if Kenny had done it.
But Kenny hadn’t done it. Craig had. To act out the question he was posing to Kyle.
Was there anyone he had that Craig could kill.
It was a moral quandary. What the fuck had he landed himself in. How could he be so stupid as to think he could just ignore Craig’s ‘one flaw’ when that flaw was literally that he went around fucking murdering people? And now wanted Kyle to pick someone to die? He couldn’t do that; be the cause of someone’s death. Who would he even pick??
And then his brain said, easy, Cartman, and the rush of panic stopped.
That was...
Yeah, he hated Cartman, his childhood friend who wouldn’t quit. Who would never leave Kyle alone no matter how hard Kyle tried to get away. His childhood friend who was also now Kyle’s work colleague because he lived to make Kyle’s life difficult, but that didn’t mean he wanted him dead.
Yet...
Craig was waiting, so patiently. Staring up at Kyle from his place slouched on the couch with those attractive grey eyes.
“What...sort of person are you looking for?”
Kyle felt like Craig killed part of him that day. The part of him that could make sensible, morally good decisions.
--
It took three hours for Craig to come home.
Kyle spent most of that time staring out the window at the rain, waiting for Craig to return. He finished all his chores, set a movie to play on the TV and just let it drown out like white noise.
He jumped out his skin when Craig got back. The sound of the keys jingling in the front door had him rushing forward with wide eyes to wait for it to open, standing awkwardly in the living room.
The door opened and revealed his handsome roommate. He shook off his coat before he stepped in fully and pulled his hood down. Despite having already tried to shake off the rain water he did still bring some into the house.
Kyle waited for him to remove his coat and hang it up before he spoke. When he did he wish he’d just kept his mouth shut.
“Did you do it?”
He didn’t mean to be so direct. Craig gave a low chuckle and cocked a sleek brow.
“Have you been waiting up for me?”
It wasn’t a yes. But it wasn’t a no, either.
Kyle shrugged off the question and tried to hide his embarrassment. “I was...worried. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be gone.”
“I had to take the long way home. I heard sirens before I left the scene, so I wanted to make sure I didn’t have a tail.”
Kyles heart jumped. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It was cops, but they weren’t there for me. The rain will wash it all away before long.”
He studied Craig’s face in the silence that followed as Craig came to stand in front of him. He didn’t look different to normal. A lightness about him, maybe, like he usually had after being away. Kyle supposed that this was a way for him to have some kind of stress relief.
He admired the way Craig’s hair remained so dry from his massive coat covering his face. Admired the flecks of grey and blue in his eyes. Admired the lopsided smile. Admired the shape of his jaw.
There was a spot. A single blot. A stray stain that escaped Craig’s notice.
It was red. Dark and oxidised. Right on the edge of his jaw.
“You’ve got something on your face.”
Craig swore as he raised his hand to wipe at his cheek, completely missing the spot. “Ah, shit. Hearing the cop car must’ve made me sloppy.”
Kyle didn’t say anything else. Instead he reached up and brushed his thumb along Craig’s jawline to catch the spot. It was pretty dry at that point. Would need more force than Kyle gave it, or maybe some water to wash it down the drain, but Kyle wasn’t really thinking that hard about it.
His eyes locked with Craig’s and he was trapped there. Craig had completely lost his cool. While he had been startled by Kyle discovering his secret and tried to keep his emotions under wraps, this time he abandoned the facade.
He stared down at Kyle with eyes blown wide and his brows raised. He opened his mouth to say something, but whatever words he was thinking of never came.
Kyle raised his thumb to his lips and removed the blood that he’d captured with his tongue.
The grey eyes followed his every movement. From this close Kyle could see Craig’s pupils dilate and grow wider. He felt a rush of power at making this man who was usually so composed crumble in front of him. It caused a spark of reckless confidence in Kyle and he moved without giving it much thought.
He stepped forward until there was barely an inch between them and tilted his head to duck under Craig’s chin and watchful gaze. He aimed for the spot where the streak of red still remained and brushed his tongue out along the skin.
The familiar coppery tang of blood mixed with the salty residue on of skin. It was a taste he wasn’t used to. For a fleeting moment he wondered if he had actually lost his mind.
When he parted with the skin he could feel how heavily Craig was breathing. Chest closing the gap between them on every inhale.
Kyle pulled back with a smile and put a good foot distance between them as he spoke. “All gone.”
He turned and rushed to his room as the reckless confidence began to flee his body and leave him a nervous wreck.
It took one day for Cartman to be reported missing. Four days for them to find the body. He was sat on the couch next to Craig as they watched the news report together. Even though he wasn’t the person who did it, it left him feeling...
Powerful.
--
He had an argument with his dad. It wasn’t the first time, and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. The man was an utter nightmare and they never saw eye to eye on anything. Once upon a time Kyle might’ve tried to win his support; talk him round to his way of thinking, or even just convince himself that his dad was right just so he could agree for approval.
Those days were long past. Kyle no longer attempted to make peace. If his dad’s mentality was his way or the highway, then Kyle would take the highway. Even when he did agree, just to be a fucking petty dick.
Kyle stormed from his room into the kitchen with steam coming out from his ears. He rummaged through the fridge to find a beer bottle, something cool and vaguely alcoholic to help him calm down, when there was movement from the doorway.
He looked up to see Craig leaning against the frame with a furrowed brow.
“I thought you were working.”
Craig shrugged. “I was, but it’s pretty hard to concentrate on equations when your roommate is arguing the next room over.”
He felt a flare of shame and closed the fridge door. “Sorry, dude, I didn’t - sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Craig insisted as he moved into the kitchen fully and leant against the counter top. “I don’t have to submit the report till tomorrow. I’ve got time.”
Kyle turned his gaze back to the now closed fridge.
“Do you...wanna talk about it?”
He was so considerate. And Kyle was so willing to just let it all out.
“It was my dad,” he admitted with a groan. “He’s such an asshole! Every time I speak to him he finds something to argue with me about, and it’s usually about something I’ve done. How often I call, or where I live, or what I do with my free time. Everything I do falls short of his impossibly high standards – and then he has the audacity to be like, ‘why can’t you be like your brother, Kyle’, or ‘it’s a good thing we adopted for the second child, god forbid we had another one of you’.
“Like, shit, sometimes I wish he just fucking disowned me so I didn’t have to speak to him anymore. Ugh! Sometimes I feel like I could just strangle him!”
He met Craig’s eyes and froze in place. Craig was there as dutifully as ever, listening to what he was saying with a sympathetic frown. Kyle stood in front of him after pacing with his hands raised and fingers bent, imagining what it would be like to just wrap them round the asshole’s neck.
Then he had the idea.
“Do...you think you could?”
Craig’s sympathy turned into confusion. “Do I think I could what?”
“You know.”
His brows raised.
Kyle ran his thumb across his neck. He made that same choking noise that Craig had when he asked before.
“You want me to...?”
“Just. Make him stop calling me. Permanently.”
“Are you sure about this?” Craig asked as he folded his arms across his chest. “You don’t want to give it more thought? It’s your dad. This isn’t something you could take back.”
“I’m sure,” Kyle insisted as he stepped forward a few spaces, feeling a desperation wash over him. He needed this. His hands landed on Craig’s arms. He felt them tense. “You have no idea how often I’ve imagined how much nicer my life would be like if he just fucking kicked the bucket.”
“If you’re absolutely positive...”
Kyle nodded his head firmly.
“You’ll have to wait a bit. I’ve got someone lined up.”
“After that, though?”
“After that,” Craig confirmed with the hint of a smirk. “Y’know.”
Kyle threw his arms round Craig’s neck. He caught the man in a hug, pulling him in tightly and letting out a huff of air. It was the kind of promise that weighed heavy in his stomach, yet made his heart race.
Craig took a moment to recover, but when he did Kyle felt arms wrap round his waist. They stood in the kitchen like that for some time, holding each other tightly to seal the deal. A hug instead of a handshake.
Kyle pulled back first. Enough that he could look at Craig’s face, with his hands still on his shoulders. It was the closest they’d been to each other since he got home after Cartman, and Kyle had the confidence that came from being possessed by a demon or something.
Craig didn’t let go of his waist. He held him in place and Kyle made no attempt to leave.
For some reason, Kyle was surprised by the feeling of how strong Craig’s arms were. If made sense, he supposed, for someone with a hobby like Craig’s to need to be strong.
He squeezed his fingers into Craig’s shoulders. It seemed to snap Craig out of whatever trance he’d been lured into.
He let go of Kyle’s waist and took a step back as he cleared his throat. There was a dusting of pink spread across his cheeks.
“I...should go back to work,” Craig said. He spoke slowly and carefully.
“Sure. Thanks, for listening to me.”
“No problem.”
He gave an awkward fist bump to Kyle’s shoulder on his way to the door.
Not for the first time, Kyle was left feeling like his morals were really in question. He wasn’t sure if that was because he’d just asked his serial killer roommate to murder his dad, or if it was because of the rush he felt knowing that he could make Craig seem so flustered.
--
He took Craig to the funeral.
Craig didn’t put up much of a fight. He seemed a bit perplexed by the request, but didn’t question him. If anything he seemed kind of excited about it. Kyle couldn’t imagine that he’d attended many of the funerals for the people who he’d murdered in the street.
The murder itself wasn’t credited to the mysterious serial killer on the news. In fact, it hadn’t come on the news at all. Craig had argued it was better this way, if it was treated as a random accident. His mom was the one who told him. Ringing him up in the early hours of the morning in floods of tears. She arranged the funeral to be as soon as possible. It wasn’t right to leave his body too long. If it hadn’t been for the police officers, she would’ve had it within the same day no doubt.
His mom and Ike recognised Craig as his roommate. His mom poured out her thanks for him coming with Kyle, as it was such a difficult time for the family. Ike was somber as he could be, awkwardly tiptoeing around Kyle. They had seen the will, at that point. No one could deny now that Ike was the favourite child.
Kyle insisted to his little brother in private that it was okay. He didn’t admit it, but even knowing that Ike received the majority of his father’s fortune, even before their mother, he still got the last laugh. And the hundred bucks that he kept in his wallet that Craig had took.
Kyle was the last person to leave after the burial. Most of his relatives went to his mother’s house after. Craig stood beside him as they stared down at the fresh gravesite where his father had been buried barely an hour ago.
“He’s really gone.”
Craig shifted beside him, moving his weight about. “You don’t regret it, do you?”
“My dad was...” Kyle reached a hand up to brush along the tall gravestone with his father’s name etched across. “He was an asshole. All he ever did was criticise me. Not to mention a colossal misogynist, if the constant derogatory comments about being a pussy and being too much like my mom were anything to go by.”
“But...?”
Kyle turned to Craig. He looked almost nervous, hands shoved in his pockets with his brows twisted, chewing on one corner of his lips.
“But I feel like...” Kyle felt a burning rush of anger drift through his system. He knew it was wrong, didn’t want to admit it out loud to someone, but maybe Craig would understand. “I feel like it’s not enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like someone else doing it isn’t a good enough insult,” Kyle pressed as his eyes fell on Craig’s lips. “I want to really drive it home. Dance on his grave.”
Craig didn’t speak as Kyle stepped forward. Took hold of his tie and began to toy with it in his hands.
“You know, I always felt like he had a problem with me being bisexual. He thought it was just a phase before I married a nice Jewish woman.”
Craig didn’t need anymore prompt than that. He ducked down and captured Kyle’s lips with his own.
Kyle rang his mother on the way home to apologise that he wouldn’t be coming back for food. Explained he was too tired. It had all drained him and he couldn’t bear the thought of being surrounded by people. Promised her that he wouldn’t be alone. Craig would be with him.
--
They didn’t speak when they arrived home. Kyle grabbed Craig by the collar and all but slammed their lips together. The collision was enough to make Craig stumble and there was a moment where Kyle thought they might fall over until Craig reached out to the wall to steady them. One hand out for balance, the other holding onto Kyle’s hips.
They ended up in Kyle’s room, with the bigger bed. He had forgotten just how strong Craig had felt when Kyle squeezed his shoulders in the kitchen when asking for the favour with his dad. It just made it all the better to know that he got to be the one hovering over Craig’s face, holding all the cards this time, even though Craig could’ve overpowered him if he wanted to. But he didn’t.
He was gasping for breath at the end, lying on his back with Craig next to him. Since getting home they hadn’t exchanged a word. It was Craig who ended up breaking the silence.
“You know how you’re really into those serial killer documentaries?”
Kyle rolled his head to meet Craig’s eyes. There was a smirk on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Is it like...a sexual thing?”
Kyle huffed out and attempted to frown despite his smile.
“You’re right, you’re right. It’s a stupid question. It clearly is.”
“Shut up,” Kyle huffed as he landed a weak fist on top of Craig’s stomach. “It’s not a sexual thing, okay?”
“Right, sure, not at all.”
“It’s not!”
“Shall we test that?” Craig pressed as he propped himself up in order to lean over Kyle with a leering grin. “See what happens if I start telling you about them?”
Craig...never told him about them. Kyle always felt too frozen in place to ask. Assumed Craig didn’t want to.
“You gonna tell me it’s still not a sexual thing when you’re looking up at me like that?”
“Like what?!” Kyle barked back as he felt heat flood his cheeks and tried to compose his thoughts and his expression. “I’m just – curious!”
“You keep telling yourself that,” Craig muttered as he leant down to brush his lips against Kyle’s. “I’ll keep your secret though. I’ll take it to my grave.”
“I’ll put you in your grave.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”