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The room was dark and only illuminated by the simmering fire. It was the early hours of the morning and she had been awake most of the night. But here she sat in her slightly oversized chair with her 4-month-old baby daughter snoring in her arms.
She would sit here all night just staring into the expanse. She would stay here most nights, more than she knew she should. She never could sleep anymore; tonight was no different. She would often find herself waiting for him and yet she knew he would never come through that door.
With his floppy chestnut hair, and his deep blue ocean eyes. His beige tweed jacket and stupid bow tie. She smiled at the thoughts of one certain bow tie and how they ended up in this situation.
She was lying on the 4 poster bed that sat beautifully in their bedroom in the tardis. She was completely naked and at his mercy.
“River, have you been a bad girl?” he asked seductively.
“No,” she said barely audibly, but her heart was racing her and desire was pooling at the apex of her legs making them sticky.
He licked his lips and sat on her upper legs. She watched as he seemingly pulled out a couple of bow ties from nowhere. He grabbed one of her left wrists and tied it to the bed. He grabbed her other wrist and tied it to the first. He gave it a little tug, making sure that she couldn't escape but still had a little room for wiggling when things got tense.
Her daughter moved in her arms, bringing her out of the memory. She genuinely smiled, because that was the night she had fallen pregnant.
But here she sat in the darkest of black just like every night, with her every thought consumed by him. And one question left hanging in the air.
Would he ever return?
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He sat on his little swinging chair, trying to fix something that probably didn’t need fixing. His tardis truly was beautiful even though she kept zapping him over and over. But he liked doing it even though it didn’t need doing. Anything to take his mind from River.
Because every time he thought about her he would think about that last night he had spent with her.
“River, what are you doing here?”
There she stood in yellow and gold, her hair framing her head and her outfit made her look like the true queen that she was.
“Hello, sweetie,” she smiled devilishly back at him.
He flapped his arms, in a state of shock at this unexpected visit.
“Shall I go?” she asked, sensing his thoughts.
“No, I…” he stumbled on his words. He always made a fool of himself in front of her.
She smiled weakly and grabbed the lapels of his jacket and kissed him with a deep-seated hunger.
Her tongue fought his, she tasted of wine and strawberries, she smelled like old books and the sunset. Kissing her was one of his favourite things to do since they got married.
The Tardis zapped him, making him lose his concentration when he was deep in thought. He sighed as he was once again alone. But this time it was his own doing
He couldn’t help but love her. Even though he tried not to, he couldn't help but want her. How could she not know that he would die without her?
They had made love that night. Where she had to go next there was no stopping what was about to come. She was about to lose her parents, and it was going to break her heart.
She lay there, basking in their lovemaking, a sheet wrapped around her naked form, her body tucked into his side, her hair tickling his face. His arm wrapped around her, keeping her from moving.
“Stay with me a little longer,” he begged.
“I can’t stay with you.” Her voice was sad. “I have to see my parents,” she said solemnly, sighing heavily and snuggling even further into his body.
He knew of course, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. He hummed at her warmth before burying his face in her curls. “I will wait for you,” he said sadly.
“I know,” was all she whispered.
He dropped the wrench, and it clattered on the metal floor.
“Damn,” he shouted at the empty room.
He heard the Tardis hum. But he was in no mood to listen.
He was unwilling to move for the moment, as he thought about when he first met her.
With the shadows creeping, and with a whisper of his name in his ear. There was only one reason he would tell anyone his name, and it turned out to be true.
He knew that even then, even without knowing her, from that moment on his love for her was only going to get stronger. And that was deeper than any other truth that he would ever be told.
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Another day, another night. A year older, there she sat alone with her daughter in the downstairs cot next to her. Insomnia was starting to get beyond a joke. She didn’t dare ask for help. Who would believe her anyway? A timelord thought to be long dead. And a woman that was created to kill him, but instead fell in love with him. And in turn, they had a child together.
She couldn’t help but love him. Even though she tried not to, she couldn’t help but want him to know that she would die without him knowing she loved him and that one night that had created a miracle.
She got up, the air brisk around her. She shivered slightly and sighed. She took a quick look at her daughter snug and warm in the homemade blanket that once belonged to her. She walked over to the fireplace and threw some small logs onto the diminishing fire. Within seconds there was a crackle and pop as the fire started to ignite and started to warm the room.
She felt empty and alone so she picked up her daughter, snuggling her into her own body warming them both through. Her daughter murmured and she started to rock her back and forth, speaking softly.
“To the people of the Gamma Forest, ‘Doctor’ means mighty warrior. That man, your father, could turn an army around at the mention of his name. He is a kind man, a man loved by so many but by none more than me.
“When we were on top of a pyramid, I had to ask for help because I loved him and I didn't want to kill him. They said ‘Yes of course we’ll help’. You see, he had touched so many lives, and saved so many more.”
A tear dropped from her lashes and created a track down her cheek, slowly falling onto the blanket below, the memory of that night picturing her mind.
“Amy, uncuff me now,” the Doctor asked. She watched as her mother walked over to him and undid his handcuffs. He turned around sharply. “Okay, I need a strip of cloth about a foot long. Anything will do.”
She watched as he untied his bowtie and removed it from his shirt collar. “Never mind. River, take one end of this, wrap it around your hand, and hold it out to me.”
“What am I doing?” she asked, confused. He started to wrap the cloth around his hand so she followed suit doing the same.
“As you’re told. Now. In the middle of a combat zone so we’ll have to do the quick version. Captain Williams, say, ‘I consent and gladly give’.”
“To what?” dad asked.
“Just say it! Please,” the Doctor said a bit impatiently, turning to face him.
“I consent and gladly give,” dad said quickly.
“I need you to say it too, mother-of-the-bride.”
“I consent and gladly give.”
“Now, River. I’m about to whisper something in your ear and you have to remember it very very carefully and tell no one what I said.”
He whispered, she felt a shiver and a small smile formed on her face.
“I just told you my name. Now. There you go, River Song. Melody Pond. You’re the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it’s my fault. And I can’t bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn’t another way.”
“Then you may kiss the bride.” She was sad and she was happy.
“I’ll make it a good one.”
“You better.”
Her daughter started crying which brought her quickly out of her memory. She lowered her top and moved her daughter to her breast, where she latched quickly.
Her tears were free falling. Heartbroken, her voice slipping, she said one final thing to her daughter.
“ I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time I do, he’ll be one step further away.”
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He had spent months upon this cloud, mourning the loss of his two best friends and the parents to his wife. He found himself more often than not aimlessly walking through the halls of his tardis. And time after time he ended up there
He hadn’t been in the room since she left. It was like his tardis was playing some kind of cruel joke on him, but he knew his beautiful old girl wouldn’t do that. She just probably missed her too.
He had asked for the Tardis to make a separate bedroom for him a long time ago. Because the memories of her were becoming too painful for him to bear. Every time she left, it became harder and harder to be in the room without her.
He sat on the 4 poster bed, the blue and gold walls twinkling from the light of the chandeliers sitting proudly in the middle of the room. Her shirt was in his hand, but he didn’t remember grabbing it out of her wardrobe.
The room still smelled of her perfume, the sheets still smelled of their time together. Everything in the room reminded him of her, from the gold brush left on her vanity table to her favourite (yet if you would ask her she would never admit it) bowtie. Her red stiletto heels lay next to him at the foot of the bed. His favourite dress of hers was placed neatly on her chair. And if you squinted extremely hard you could see her hallucinogenic lipstick left next to the bathroom sink.
He hugged her shirt and he wept for the words left unsaid. He couldn’t help but love her even though he tried not to.
The longer the gaps between visits, the more his heart broke because soon there would be no more visits. Time was running out and it was slowly killing him.
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2 years later, the room was still dark, only illuminated by the fire. Over the last two years, the room had changed quite a bit. Instead of a cot or a moses basket, the only thing that sat here now was a make-believe kitchen and a large box of toys.
She still loved him, but for the first time in a long time she felt like she was finally going to overcome this war of the hearts, and even with galaxies in the way, that would not change. But tonight was different. Tonight she wasn’t sulking in the dark like she normally would because today she finally had been given hope from a beautiful petite blond who had just happened to stumble into the Luna University library.
They had drinks and everything went swimmingly, and even though it was a little soon and normally she wouldn’t do it, today was an emergency so she introduced her daughter to this woman and of course, her daughter loved ‘The Doctor’ from the get-go.
Trust me, she knew the irony of her name but at least this time this Doctor had a name, and her name was Jane Smith and she was the most beautiful woman River had ever laid eyes upon.
So tonight was a reflection of hope and joy. She could finally breathe and start living again.
The End