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Lily slowly opened her eyes, barely beckoning the day.
Had that been the doorbell?
No of course not, she thought, rolling over towards the clock.
It’s half past six. Who in their right mind would ever-
Her thought was interrupted by a second unmistakable ring. She looked over to James who was sleeping deeply, undisturbed by their early morning visitors’ persistence.
“Don’t worry dear, I’ll get it.” Lily muttered under her breath, fumbling for her wand and hoisting herself out of bed.
A third ring sounded through the apartment as Lily made her way down the hall pulling on her robe.
This can’t be good. Am I being paranoid? Perhaps Sirus has been up all night drinking and needs a place to crash.
She peeked through the window sheers with slight trepidation to see a tall, slender man standing at front of her door. Catching the movement of the curtains he looked towards the window, sending Lily quickly retreating with a slight gasp. It wasn’t Sirus.
This time it was knocking. He banged on the door insistently before calling out to her.
“Lily please, I know you’re in there. It’s important.”
Her fingers tightened around her wand as she approached the door. With a quick pull she threw it open and pointed her wand at the stranger on her doorstep.
But it wasn’t a stranger. It was Snape.
Alarmed with his hands raised in the air, Snape’s eyes met hers as they silently lingered in a moment that seemed to span the years they had spent apart.
“Severus…” Dismay forced his name from her lips.
“May I come in before somebody sees me?” He asked carefully, as though he were disarming a bomb.
Another moment silently ticked by as Snape eyed her outstretched wand.
“Oh- of course.” She replied, lowering her wand and inviting him in, careful to lock the door behind him.
He took in every aspect of their quaint living room in the early morning light; An oversized armchair too big for this room, a sofa with patches on the arms from wear and wine stains on the carpet. Smiling faces peeking out from glass frames on the walls told the story of Lily’s wedding, their first day in this apartment and wonderful evenings spent laughing with friends. It was a room that assured him with incredible ease how well she had lived and he could barely take his eyes off of it.
In her quaint living room in the light of dawn she took him in, too. Taller than she remembered, or perhaps it was his black pants and fitted tunic just made it seem that way. They looked pristine and expensive from the high collar to the cuff of his sleeve, unlike anything she had ever seen him in. His dark, still slightly greasy, hair barely brushed his shoulders which seemed to have broadened a bit from that last time she had seen him. He was fit, like a soldier.
Like a soldier in uniform.
That thought came crashing painfully down on her, as Snape stood still staring and drinking in the room and she stood staring, drinking him in.
His face was lit with awe and wonder at her mundane, haggard living room. There was a gentleness to him that took her back years. A physicality so tender, as he warmly eyed the sunken cushions and loose stuffing that it erased the strange and new and flooded her with charming memories of the familiar.
“Sev…” Lily said lightly.
Snape turned to her quickly as though he had forgotten she was there at all.
They abruptly began speaking in unison.
“I’m sorry but I had to come-”
“It’s been such a long time-”
Each breaking off in awkward bits of nervous laughter.
Snape allowed himself to really look at her now, something he had hardly been able to do with a wand in his face. She seemed to have become more beautiful with age somehow, now fully grown into her features. Her dark red hair cascading in messy torrents over her shoulders and down her back, eyes bright as he remembered, and an effortless smile lingering on her lips. He had woken her up of course, but this couldn’t wait. Even fresh out of bed she looked stunning, she looked…
“You’re…” Snape trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.
“Pregnant, yes.” She smiled broadly at the thought, smoothing the navy satin of her nightgown over her baby bump so he could see exactly how far along she was.
“I heard but it’s different seeing it in person.” He muttered as he fumbled backwards for a seat on the ragged couch.
His face had become grave and Lily knew she had somehow reminded him of why he came.
“Most people say congratulations.” Lily smirked, taking a seat on the sofa next to him.
“Tell me Sev, I can handle it. Why have you come?”
He froze for a moment with the world on his tongue trying to find the right words to say.
“You’re in danger. I don’t know how much time I have to explain but Dumbledore knows everything-”
“Dumbledore?!” Lily blurted out almost involuntarily.
“Yes, and I expect he will be here soon so we haven’t much time.” Snape said fretfully looking at the sun rising through the window sheers.
“Voldemort is coming after you. There has been a prophecy that a child born at the end of July will have the power to stop him. Voldemort believes it to be your child…” Snape trailed off looking from Lily’s swollen belly to her face for her reaction.
“Th-that’s ridiculous, how could a child-” Lily sputtered.
“Lily, please.” Snape said, grabbing her hand with a meaningful look.
“Voldemort is coming. He will kill all those who oppose him indiscriminately. Your son, Potter, You. ”
Lily’s eyes searched his in abject horror as though she were attempting to parcel out what to do next from his very pupils. Her breathing was shallow and her free hand unconsciously clutched her belly.
“You have to go into hiding. Dumbledore will take care of you-”
“Why are you telling me this?” Lily interrupted, suddenly calm. She had been granted a moment of clarity in the eye of her own storm.
Snape opened his mouth, searching for the words but nothing came. His eyes softened and there was a slight tremble to his hand. She had always been able to see right through him.
Lily squeezed his hand and gently caressed his fingers with hers.
“You’re not a Death Eater anymore” she whispered looking into his eyes, analyzing and picking him apart with ease as she had always done.
“You’re a spy.”
Snape squeezed her hand back, searching again for the right words to say. Before he could pull a sentence together in his mind he heard his own voice escaping his lips without thought or permission.
“I’m your friend before I am anything else, Lily. That’s why I’m telling you this.”
And it was true. More true than any explanation or forced rationale he could extrapolate from his own mind.
She pulled him closer to her in a firm embrace, that was both awkward and rejuvenating. She could feel the tension in his muscles melt under her arms as his breath became short. She gave him a squeeze.
It felt like forgiveness. It was more than he could ever ask for.
“How much longer do we have?” Lily asked, pulling away from him and looking towards the window.
“Not long, I’m sure.” Snape responded but his thoughts were elsewhere, absorbed by her. It was truly incredible how the sunlight danced on her hair, her skin, her eyes and brought to life the vision of the divine creature he had long decided she was.
His face was perfectly illuminated by the sunlight’s warm radiant hues. She could hardly believe it. After all this time, after everything, here they were alone in this golden moment in the stillness of morning suspended from time. It was as though they had traveled back to the very beginning.
Looking deeply into each other's eyes there was a silent understanding of the compassion they shared for one another in spite of their past or future.
Lily gently cupped Snape’s face in her hands. “I’m glad you came. Bad news and all.” She said with a light that was all too familiar.
Then a ring echoed through the apartment, violating their sanctuary and ripping their attention from each other. The doorbell. Snape pulled Lily quickly into arms again, unwilling to part with her.
“Be careful.” He pleaded.
“Sev-” she whispered urgently, squeezing her eyes shut.
The doorbell sounded again.
Lily blinked her eyes open to the blue darkness of her own bedroom. The clock read 7:00 AM. The ringing sound of the doorbell came again from down the hall.
“Sev!” She gasped as she hastily kicked off the blanket and ran for the door.
“Sev” She repeated to herself firmly gripping the knob and wrenching the door open in hurried desperation. But it wasn’t Snape. It was a man with a long white beard and half-moon spectacles.
“Dumbledore…” Lily exhaled in surprise.
“Lily!” Dumbledore greeted her, inviting himself in.
“You really shouldn’t be opening your door without your wand, you know. Dangerous times.”
“Yes, of course” She replied in a confused haze, locking the door behind him.
“I suspect I have woken you.” He noticed her nightgown.
“Yes, I suppose so.” her eyes darted from the window to the sofa.
“I apologize, I know it’s early but this couldn’t wait.”
Lily stared at him in alarm. This couldn’t wait.
“Are you alright? You seem to be looking for something.” There was concern creeping into his voice.
“I…” Her voice broke off as she looked over her empty living room again, bathed in the light of morning.
“I was just having the strangest dream…”
Something in Dumbledore’s face changed. Then he said “Dreams are a funny thing. We can find the best and worst of ourselves there and awake to find none of it is reality.”
There was a glimmer of knowing in his eyes as peered at her from behind his spectacles. She met his gaze and they breathed into the silence in complete understanding.
“I’ll wake James and put the kettle on. He’ll want to hear this” Lily said heading down the hall to fetch him.
There was nothing to say about her dream this morning and more importantly no one to say it to. Still, she walked down the hall in silent wonder of the best in them.