Work Text:
Over you
he’s sitting in the living room staring out the window when he speaks.
“the weather channel says it’s gonna snow again… you would think I’d be use to the cold by now eh?”
there’s no answer. there’s no one to answer.. eyes slip over to the plastic Christmas tree that still stands. he hadn’t taken it down. It was the middle of February, he really should, but Matthew just couldn’t bring himself to take down the last memories, he was scared he would forget.
Matthew smiled as he handed Gilbert his present. he had been so excited when he found the wrapping paper, it was Easter themed, but covered in little yellow birds. it got the desired “hey this is awesome! thank you birdie!” a large smile took over his face
Matthew chuckled “just open it!”
He watched with amusement as the present was unwrapped, careful it didn't get ruined. it didn’t matter what was inside. only the way Gilbert had glowed with happiness in that moment. the way the Christmas lights sparkled in his eyes, the happiness and laughter that filled the living room. That's what Matthew needed to hold onto.
but he went away.
Matthew curled in on himself “I miss you…”
Everyone was insisting he’d be okay. he’d move one. Time heals all wounds. Matthew wasn’t so sure he was ever going to get over Gilbert.
Being alone in this big house was hard. Every room echoed memories. Pancakes in the mornings, stormy Sundays spent curled up on the couch watching bad movies, long nights together in the bedroom. It hurts, but remembering makes him less scared as the wind pound snow against the windows…
Matt put on a record Gilbert had left unintentionally. He sat on the floor and smiled remembering the albinos voice filling the house with renditions of the old German songs. curling up on his spot on the floor he fell asleep. he still couldn’t sleep in the bed.
people kept trying to drag him out of the house. come have coffee, come to dinner, lets see a movie! but he couldn’t… Gilbert left… he wasn’t coming back… Matthew was angry.
“how dare you fucking leave me alone Gilbert Beilschmidt! I miss you…. You said you would stay with me forever! You promised….”
Tears choked him. he replied to the newest text about grabbing a cuppa.
‘no thanks’
He stood in the backyard by the large maple tree. His eyes were glued to the ground. he knew he wasn’t coming back… but how could he ever get over him? he stared down at the polished head stone holding Gilberts name. no… he could never come back.
Matthew kneels in front of the grave tears stinging his eyes “why did you have to leave? Why’d you have to get in that stupid car? I told you it was too icy…. You never listen… I’m not going to ever get over you..”