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The chilly air had kissed him awake, an indication of the cold season peaking at the corner. With groggy hands, Satoru reached the other side of the bed. Wanting to fight this sweater weather in the loving embrace of his wife but instead what greeted him was utter emptiness.
'That was strange, where could she go? Today was Sunday. Both of them could sleep in as much as they wanted, so where was she? '
Scrunching his face, he sat up trying to look for his other half. But to no avail, there was nothing. Not a speck nor a glimmer. Groaning on his hand, not wanting to fight Jack Frost's breath alone, the white fluff decided to look for her.
The corridor of his home felt like a maze to his sleepy brain but lucky for him, he didn't have to search for far too long. Too blessed by god himself, the click clacks of the mechanical keyboard can be heard from a distance. Giving Satoru divine intervention where his wifey could be.
Opening the door of their shared office, there she sat in front of her computer. Headphones on and back facing him. A wild grin crept on his face as he completed his mission.
Gotcha!
Pulling her chair, the bean pole climbed on top of her lap. Burying himself on the crevice of her neck, claiming his rightful throne. Inhaling her familiar scent and suffocating from the feeling of her. He peppered soft kisses all over her remaining exposed skin. “Why did you leave?” Voice riddled in deep whisky serenade, she oh so loved. “ I miss you, come back to bed.”
“Can’t. I have to work, Satoru.” she whispered with red fever. Calmly prying her husband’s towering form off, she pleaded to him. “Go back to bed, please ‘toru.”
As much as she wanted to scold this big baby, making a scene would be too much for her. Living with this man for years had taught the lovely lady that once he gets in a clingy mood it's going to be difficult to reason out with him. Like a giant koala with a cat brain. Go figure.
Sea of persuasion and compromise poured towards the man child yet none were able to drown him. It was time for plan b, she thought. Small hands reached towards her computer desperate to turn it off but sadly, vertically challenged as she was, not even her fingertips could tap one key. Satoru had pulled her chair a bit farther than it should. How about reaching with her foot? Yeah, no that’s not an option. It’s too embarrassing to put on that kind of show. 'Well, that was hardly a plan b.'
But of course, the abundance of grace offered by God had let the door wide open. Their lovingly self made deus ex machina had stumbled upon the whole ordeal.
Their child, their lovely little boy, now painted with features of the Scream. As young as he can be, maturity seemed to be a trait that he luckily got from his mother. Quickly understanding the situation and the trouble it's causing, with childish might he pulled daddy dearest shirt. “Dad! Let mommy go!”
He too was utterly embarrassed by the abominable snowman incarnate. Already contemplating his pedigree, questioning along the lines of ‘Why did God give him a weirdo for a parent?’ to ‘Is it possible to file an official complaint to heaven?’
Satoru on the other hand, only whined as he continued his stupidity, diving deeper into his adoring missus. Tightly holding on to her with his dear life. “Don’t want to! Wanna be with wifey! IT'S MY TURN!”
All eyes were on him as exaggerated gasps left the lips of his family. Such a strong declaration made the two conclude that whatever maturity he had on his bones had become truly non-existent. Well there were hardly any to begin with.
And it dug to his darling's grave a few more inches than it should. She could feel her soul leave her body as her husband mimicked a siren’s warning and their child? Already revoking his father license, rescinded he was. Goodbye #1 dad mug, it's uncle Nanamin’s now.
The desperate tug of war felt like an eternity as whispered begging and refusals bounce back and forth. Having enough of this circus the boy now red and blue shouted at the top of his lungs. Finally someone acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“MOMMY IS IN A ZOOM MEETING!”
There it is. Hook, line and sinker.
Everything fell silent.
Baffled, his pretty little mouth hang wide open. Satoru looked at the webcam. It had confirmed the alien behavior of his two favorite people. Now he too felt like a cow hovering towards the mothership. Everyone saw everything. Everything.
Gears turned in his lovely snowy head, the newly received information simmered in the pan of his brain waiting for the planets to align perfectly till it was ready to be served.
Ding! ding! ding!
— Oh, there it is the house specialty! Bon Appetit.
Feigning a world ending shriek, large hands covered his body and the other to his mini me. “Honey, I didn’t know you were such an exhibitionist!”
If God had given too much blessing, hell would give back too. It's only natural after all. Satoru may be perfect but oh dear the rest? Utterly insufferable.
As if to make it worse to the Gojo family, the meeting was uploaded on the world wide web. It went viral. The culprit? None other than the devil’s advocate, Mr. Getou Suguru. Congrats!