Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jimin sits across the reception desk, hands curled around the edge of his seat, one foot tapping the floor tile in irregular sequence. He’s nervous and a little scared. It reminds him of a child who is about to get his tooth pulled out by the dentist. What makes him different from that child is what he is going to face is much bigger than pulling out a loose tooth. 

Letting out a tired sigh, he looks around him, the seats are mostly empty, saved for a few couples, mated couples. The sight of their protruded bellies makes his stomach coils with anxiety. Unconsciously, he brings his palm to rest above his flat stomach, heart thudding loudly in his chest. If it works… If this works, in a few months, he might just look like them.

Jimin is reaching the ideal age to mate and conceive but he isn’t one to worry about the norms and alike. He doesn’t need to be the ideal Omega everyone expected an Omega should be. He had learnt from his past that he can’t satisfy anyone. In fact, to force himself to be someone else would only destroy him.  

Even when his friends are not completely supportive of his decision, he is not turning back. Not without trying. It is not because of his past, he swears to his friends. He is just doing this because he wants to. No one is forcing him or manipulating him to do something that will destroy his future. Jimin is here, in this strange white room that smells like Dettol’s hand sanitizer, trying for a pup, without a mate or a partner in his company. Because he doesn’t need them, doesn’t need Alphas . He only needs to live . And with his beautiful pup, he will finally be happy.

It is not your fault , Taehyung’s words suddenly ring in his mind. You are just… a little broken. Time will fix it.

Jimin almost laughs. Because it has been 4 years and he is still broken and sad. It has been 4 years and he is still afraid of Alphas. It has been 4 years, and he still can’t look his best friend Yoongi in the eyes. Are they even considered bestfriend still? Looking back at it, he doesn’t know how it happened, how he lost his best friend.

What happened 4 years ago wasn't Yoongi’s fault.

Jimin blames himself for what happened. No matter what his friends told him otherwise, he still believed it was his fault. His grandparents used to remind him to behave if he presented as an Omega and to never submit if he presented as an Alpha. He didn’t understand that concept, didn’t understand why he should behave, why he had to submit to someone of higher ranking. They said he would be punished if he didn’t, that there would be consequences if he didn’t follow the norms. He didn’t think his grandparents were right, it shouldn’t be right but his grandparents were never wrong. 

Jimin didn’t follow their words and he was punished for it.

He had no one to blame but himself. He was young and naive. He was only eighteen, just right after he was presented as an Omega, when his life slowly turned upside down. He never thought himself as an oblivious person, he knew when someone flirted with him, he knew when someone was trying to court him. He wasn’t an easy person to impress. Even when many Alphas of his age or a little older than him showed their interest in him, either by giving him gifts or displaying their dominance to show how worthy they are to be his significant other.

He was careful not to give in to their sweet talking. Jimin loved to be doted on, loved to be spoiled with attention despite his shyness. But, also, because of his shy personality, he just didn’t choose anyone that fit to be an ideal Alpha. He still preferred someone who understood him; his clinginess, his annoying habits, his shy but stubborn demeanor, someone who loved him for who he really was, despite his lackness and flaws.

But there was this one person who was so persistent and so determined to ask him out. He was Alpha Lee Kihyun, a senior who played basketball in a team Jimin was so familiar with. Alpha Kihyun went through all sorts of trouble just to get his attention, from showing up at his front door in the early dawn to following him around the school, always hovering above his tiny frame, displaying his dominance and possessiveness in front of the other alphas. It came to the point that he was “convinced” that Kihyun really loved him until he finally agreed to be courted.

The efforts Kihyun took to court him was so endearing that he couldn't help but feel touched. Blinded by the alpha’s sweet talking and gentle treatments, he kept denying when his friends pointed out how Kihyun was actually being possessive and controlling. Jimin admitted he actually liked the attention the alpha gave to him and the way Kihyun went all “protective” when it came to other alphas trying to get his attention as well. It made him feel kind of important? But eventually Kihyun’s act of protection gradually turned into an unhealthy jealousy. As it awakened the demon inside the alpha, Jimin realized he was already too late. He couldn’t be saved by the demon he was made to believe he had created it.

Kihyun was a nice and sweet alpha at the beginning, he was the kind of alpha who made you feel like you were the only one for him and Jimin believed he was the only one for Kihyun and vice versa. They were happy, a perfect couple everyone would say. Then, Kihyun went to college but distance was never an issue when their high school and university were just across from each other. Kihyun still came over to his school during break; even during classes, Kihyun kept texting him, asking him what he was doing, where he was going, who he was eating with. While his best friend, beta Kim Taehyung frowned at that, Jimin only cooed at how worried his boyfriend was.

Everything was perfect.

Then, Jimin and Taehyung finished high school and followed their older friends, enrolling in the same University as them. Not only Jimin got to reunite with Kihyun, but also his alpha best friend, Min Yoongi. They had known each other longer than he had known Kihyun. They used to be as clingy as lovers would be, often cuddling and scenting each other without themselves realizing. After Jimin presented as Omega, they notched it down a bit, albeit reluctant on Jimin's part. It was Yoongi who often shied away from Jimin’s affection and it only got a lot worse after Jimin dated Kihyun. Jimin missed his best friend but he couldn’t complain now that he had a boyfriend who could coddle him instead.

It was fine for the first few months. He was busy anyway, with assignments and tests piling up and he still hadn’t gotten used to University life yet and Kihyun was always there for him. So, he never got to ask Yoongi why he wasn't around much lately. Then one day, he got a text message he had been looking forward to from his group chat; asking for everyone in the group to hangout. Finally, he could meet everyone. He could meet Yoongi and ask him for cuddles!

However much reluctance Yoongi was that night, he gave in eventually because who could resist Jimin’s pouty lips and puppy eyes? They had a movie night at beta Kim Seokjin’s dorm; Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung huddled in the sofa, while Seokjin and their other two beta friends; Jung Hoseok and Kim Namjoon took the mat on the floor with blankets engulfed their forms. It was their second movie, Jimin was nodding off, head falling to rest on Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi didn’t wake him, even when the movie was over, he waited until the others left and it was only Jimin, Yoongi and Seokjin in the room. 

Jimin didn’t remember how he got back to his own room but Yoongi’s scent had lingered on him until the very next morning. When Jimin woke up, it was to the scent of burnt woods. It smelt rotten and wrong. For the first time in his life, Jimin felt scared. Lee Kihyun was standing by his bed, arms crossed against his chest as he looked down at him. The look Kihyun threw at him made him cowered, head ducked down to avoid his gaze. It made him feel small and forced him into a submission. 

Kihyun knew whose scent it belonged to, after all Jimin used to smell like it; sweet peachy scent mixed with a spicy cinnamon scent, a scent he was already familiar with but it didn’t make his anger less. In fact, it made the demon inside him flare. Gone was the warmth in his eyes and the gentleness of his touch. Gone was the pleasing scent of firewood and the comfort of his soothing voice. 

Warning bells were ringing inside Jimin’s head screaming at him to run but he couldn’t move, not even when Kihyun moved to hover above him, not even when he felt his cold hands around his neck. His eyes blurred and bulging as he stared eyes wide at Kihyun. He opened his mouth to beg him to stop but nothing came out but a sharp and broken gasp. He felt his airways constricted, and in panicked, his feet thrashed violently against the mattress, his nails scratched the hands of his boyfriend. When Kihyun let go, Jimin gasped loudly, inhaling the air his lungs desperately needed.

That was his first warning.

Kihyun left him to think of all the wrongs he had done, a sort of punishment for his bad behavior. He eyed his phone on the bed stand which he assumed Yoongi had placed last night when he took him back to his room. 

Yoongi.. 

The first sob escaped his lips.

Yoongi.

And he cried. Not just from the fear of dying but the realization that he will never escape this nightmare in the form of Kihyun. The purple marks which already began to bloom around his neck would serve as a reminder for him not to misbehave . 

Jimin tried to sit up but he felt drained to even move or maybe he was just afraid. He forced a word out of his throat, whimpering at the sharp jolt of pain running through his throat. He brought a hand to his neck, careful as he ran a finger over the side of his neck, lips pressed tightly to suppress another whimper. He didn’t dare to look in the mirror, didn’t dare to see the product of Kihyun’s anger and jealousy.

Propping his head properly on the soft pillow, he laid still, helplessly. Too exhausted to move, too broken to do anything, to eat or to treat his bruised neck. He only laid there, arms and legs sprawled lazily on the bed. He thought about what happened earlier, how he could’ve died in the hands of Kihyun, how if Kihyun was seconds too late to release him, he would have turned blue and lifeless. 

Kihyun would have really killed him, but then again, he might already have.

When the alpha came back, carrying a tray of warm food with him, it caused a turmoil in his head. As if the prior event never happened, Kihyun spoke with such tenderness that he almost believed he was just having a nightmare but the sharp pain in his throat as he swallowed a spoonful of warm soup reminded him that the nightmare was very real.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jimin swallows the lump in his throat, hands cupping at his neck, as if the event years ago happened only last night. 

“Are you alright, dear?”

Jimin yelps in shock, looking up to an omega female nurse hovering above him. She looks mildly concerned, so as the other occupants in the room. The nurse is staring worriedly at his hands that are still wrapped around his neck. “Oh, yes” He quickly puts down his hands on his laps and apologizes, bowing his head a few times.

The nurse doesn’t seem entirely convinced but she doesn’t want to push the younger into a panicked attack. Nodding, she pulls on the gentlest smile she could offer as she speaks. “Alright, dear. Call us if you need anything, okay? I’m just right there” She points at the reception desk.

Jimin nods appreciatively, a small shy of thanks following after. He watches as the nurse retreats back to her station before he looks down to his hands, which he just realizes, are shaking. Even after all these years, he is still haunted by the memories of Lee Kihyun .

He clasps his hands and squeezes it in between his thighs, hoping it would stop the tremors. But his head keeps flashing back his past memories like a broken film. 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jimin remembered for the past few days after the first event, he avoided any social interaction. It’s not like he could contact any of his friends. After that day, Kihyun had taken his phone captive and his neck condition forced him to stay in the mess of his nest. He only got up to go to the toilet or to the kitchen to eat a meal if he had the will to. Swallowing a spoon of rice felt like swallowing a shard of glass, so it left him with no option but to eat porridge or broth.

Kihyun visited after his evening class, with a grocery bag in his hands as he skipped past the living room to the small kitchen. It confused the Omega whenever Kihyun acted like his past self, bringing takeaways or even cooking a warm meal for him. His heart still hammered when the senior nudged the spoon to his lips and fed him. He still blushed when Kihyun tucked his hair to his ear and told him what a good boy he was when he swallowed his cooked meal.

He was treated like a prince, like he was precious. And it made him believe that one night was just a mistake and Kihyun was trying his best to make up for it. Jimin forgot the bruise on his neck and didn’t question why none of his friends showed up at his door to see how he was doing.

He came back to school like nothing had happened. He pretended nothing had happened, as far as avoiding his best friend, Beta Kim Taehyung’s constant questions of “ Where had you been ?”, “ Kihyun told me you’re sick and didn’t want any of us to disturb your rest”, “But i know you, you’re clingy when you’re sick. You’d look for me or Yoongi hyung when you’re sick. What happened?”

The only answer Taehyung got was “Yea, I was sick but Kihyun was always with me” and a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

If Taehyung was hurt by his answer, Jimin didn’t say anything to comfort him.

They walked to their class quietly. It was never quiet between them. Taehyung was always loud, always had funny stories to tell and Jimin always responded with his squeaky laughter. They were a loud duo even in class. The teachers would’ve to keep hushing them but when the duo only bursted into a giggly mess after, they’d throw them a dead, silent glare as a warning before they punished them to stand outside the class.

It was different this time. They sat quietly beside each other because they could never be separated even if they fought. They’d always find their way to each other. Taehyung’s presence itself was a comfort to Jimin, despite them not talking to each other and he knew the other felt the same way because a moment later he felt their knees were touching. 

His lips curved into a small smile and he leaned against his friend as he doodled random words to his notebook, not really listening to the lecture. 

“He misses you too”

Jimin jolted a little in surprise, chair squeaking loudly as he did so. It took only a second for him to realize what he just did and he flashed a sheepish smile to his teacher who wasn’t so amused. When the class continued, he turned to glare at Taehyung who only grinned cheekily at him. What ? He mouthed.

Taehyung didn’t say anything but eyed his notebook with a knowing smirk.

Curious, he looked down only to see a few, no scratched that, scribbles of yoongi all over the page, with a few holly , taetae and heart shapes. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. Why did he scribble Yoongi’s name? Was he thinking about the elder unconsciously?

Yoongi.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

After weeks of not seeing his friends, Jimin promised to make up the time they lost during his healing . They met after class, at Yoongi and Hoseok’s dorm. Jimin had always complained how lonely he was living alone and wished he could have a roommate too but unfortunately his dorm had only one bedroom. The other three Betas, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung joined a little after Hoseok had his third shot of soju.

The room was filled with boisterous laughter and loud screaming after that. It was always ten times chaotic and loud when Taehyung and Hoseok were put in the same vicinity. And Jimin loved this moment the most. When he could be as carefree as he wants, and be vocal and loud as he wants because the downside of being an Omega was, he was always expected to be docile and soft spoken, to know when to speak or be quiet. But his friends never expected him to act like an ideal Omega and never punished him from being playful and free .

Jimin didn’t regret his decision to spend his free time with his friends that evening.  He was at peace. Being surrounded with his most important person, he couldn’t be happier. Jimin laughed so hard, his throat was starting to hurt but he didn’t stop laughing. His bruises had long faded into a dull dark brown. Still, Jimin chose to wear a turtleneck sweater to cover them.

He watched his friends in silence, engraving these happy memories to his head. Oh, he will miss this. The couch dipped and he felt a familiar presence beside him. Jimin didn’t have to turn to see who he was. With a happy sigh, he leaned his head against his friend’s shoulder. He truly was gonna miss this. 

Why did this feel like a goodbye?

“You okay?”

Jimin tilted his neck so he could see Yoongi who was looking at him worriedly. He knew the Alpha had so many questions regarding his disappearance. “Yeah” And Jimin wasn’t really lying when he said, “I’m happy right now, hyung ”

For the rest of the night, he relished in the company of his close friends. He ate too much sugar, sang a really really sad song and cried when Love, Rosie was put on tv. When the movie credits finally rolled, everyone had passed out from exhaustion except Jimin who was still very much awake. His phone vibrated in his pants pocket; it had been for the past few hours.

“You sure he doesn’t mind you staying here this late?” 

 Jimin jerked in surprise, hitting Yoongi’s chin in the process. He squeaked; eyes widened at the Alpha. “I’m so sorry!” His voice was hoarse from all the crying earlier.  “I-I thought you had fallen asleep”

“Can’t sleep when you are all over me,” Yoongi teased.

And only then Jimin realized how close they were, the younger was literally snuggling the Alpha. They were no stranger to cuddling, having known each other since late elementary school. In fact, they used to have a sleepover at each other’s home before Yoongi was presented as an Alpha. 

“What are you thinking?”

“Why did we stop having sleepovers?” He blurted out, the bottom lip jutted out into a pout.

“Well, can’t have your boyfriend threaten me when you have my scent on you” Yoongi had meant it as a joke but the way the Omega tensed in his arms made him think he just hit a sensitive topic. Jimin was always insecure about how their friends viewed his boyfriend. They were never really fond of that Alpha but they did try to be as supportive as they could. “I mean-” He scratched his neck, “People will misunderstand us if we have our scent on each other especially now that our scents are stronger”.

“Uhm, y-yeah” There was an awkward silence after that. Jimin quickly detached himself from the Alpha and fiddled with his sweater paws instead. When his thigh vibrated from the notification he seemed to receive every ten minutes, he finally decided to pull out his phone. Dread creeped into his skin when the caller ID appeared on the screen, not that he wasn’t expecting it.

“You alright?” 

Jimin turned to look at Yoongi, eyes widening. “I-” He could smell his own pheromone emanating through the air which caught the Alpha off guard. “It-it’s fine” He faked a smile, quickly replacing his sour pheromone into a sweet one, although somewhat dull. “I need to go home now, Kihyun is waiting for me” 

Jimin was almost at the door when he heard hurried footsteps approaching him, he turned around then, cocking an eyebrow at the Alpha.

“It’s late, I’ll give you a ride” He explained, already pulling out his car key from his pocket.

No. He already smelt too much like Yoongi, he couldn’t be in a tight space with the Alpha right now. “It’s okay, I’ll text you when I get home!” Jimin quickly bid him goodbye without waiting for Yoongi to argue and disappeared behind the closed door.

Yoongi didn’t receive Jimin’s text that night, not the day after or a week after.

Because the night Jimin came home drenched with Yoongi’s spicy scent, Kihyun turned into his animalistic side and painted more color in his skin. The colorful bloom would’ve looked beautiful on his pale skin if only there was no pain coming from such a beauty. 

And that, Jimin stopped living.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

But Jimin lives. He still struggles but he lives. His friends couldn’t be prouder. As he gets up in the morning, washes his face and eats a decent breakfast. His friends have voiced out how pleased they are to see Jimin get better each day.

Because it used to be bad, he used to stay locked inside his house, even refusing to get out of bed. It used to be a lot bad, even a sniff of an alpha scent had him go into a panicked attack. But he's getting better now. After a few years, he could say he had it worse. 

Jimin startled when a nurse finally called his name, having deep into his own thoughts, he didn't realize the nurse had been trying to get his attention, resulting in a few stares from the other visitors. He raises his hand like a lost kid he was and smiles shyly when the nurse offered him a warm smile and coaxed him to follow her.

His heart quickens as he falls into step behind the nurse, knowing where she's leading him to.

He's trying for a pup. Him, a young and unmated Omega. He's not ready, like what everyone had been telling him. What the fuck was he thinking? 

He is almost ready to turn around and bolt. Almost. But then he heard it, making him halt in his step. He looks over his shoulder and his eyes widen. There, a young couple, probably a little bit older than him, and the woman, an Omega, is holding her newborn pup in her arms.

She is trying to hush the crying newborn while her partner is cooing at their pup. There it is.

His chest feels light and his cracked heart seems to slowly hold itself together, almost perfectly in shape.

This is why he is here.

Chapter Text

After getting out of an abusive relationship that left Jimin traumatized and broken , his friends booked him a therapy session. It took a lot of effort and words of encouragement from his friends until he dared himself to step out into the outside world again. For the first few weeks, he didn’t cooperate with his therapist to the point that he thought his therapist would give up on him.

“Do you want to say something today?” was the first thing she’d ask, and every time Jimin only shook his head in response. “Are you still afraid of them ?” She’d always ask at the end of every session.

And today, just like every other day, he answered, “Yes”.

After three months of trying, his therapist casually proposed an idea to overcome his fear of Alphas. She said it would be good for him to familiarize himself in an environment where he could socialize with people who weren’t his friends. The idea had Jimin shaking in his seat. His therapist quickly reassured him that there was nothing to be afraid of pups because the only things they would do was scream for milk. The mention of pups however surprisingly piqued his curiosity. His therapist added that socializing to such innocent pups might just be what he needed and since babies and young kids smelt like baby powder before they entered their teens year and presented, they wouldn’t trigger his fear.

Jimin didn’t see any harm in trying and so he applied for a position in a child caretaker center at the same University he was currently enrolled at. And for once, he was excited. After a few months of settling in, he surprisingly had taken to loving his volunteering job so much. Babies were such a good distraction to his messy head. He mostly almost had no break, from feeding the newborns to putting a fussy baby to sleep. 

It was horrendous work. But he couldn’t help the smile slowly growing on his face when the newborns babbled incoherent words and giggled and squealed at random words Jimin said. He felt like his torn heart was slowly piecing itself together again. So, he decided, right there and then, he’s gonna change his major to Early Childhood Education.

A crazy idea suddenly popped up in his head, but it was gone as quickly as it came. 

It was a year later, he was cradling the newborn that just came in and the parents were still talking with the staff when he overheard them. Apparently, the newborn was born through Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) because the Omega's mate was impotent. He had heard about IUI before. He had heard how Omega used it as an advantage to impregnate without a mate or Alpha. These omegas who chose AI or IUI to bear their own pups were usually a trauma patient like him. 

And suddenly the crazy idea he thought he had forgotten popped back to his head again.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

“Are you really going to do this?”

There is a short moment of silence where Jimin is thinking how to get out of this talk. His friends (Jin and Taehyung) have been trying to make him think twice about his drastic decision to go through IUI. 

“You know how this is gonna change your life, right? Carrying a pup and giving a birth to one, without having a mate to look after you and the baby would be one hell of an experience”

“I have you guys” Jimin tries to reason. He is sick of this conversation.

“You know it is not the same, right? Having a mate means he can share your pain and happiness with you. We wouldn’t be able to have that bond , Min-ah”

 “I can do it” Besides, pain is nothing to him anymore. 

Seokjin sighs and takes a sip of his warm tea. “You are old enough to decide for your own, so I guess there’s nothing much I can do or say to stop you”

“You can’t” I’m doing this.

The elder nods. “What did Yoongi say about this?” When the name slipped from his lips, the younger one suddenly went tense in his seat. “Don’t tell me you haven’t mentioned this to him?” His eyes narrow at the Omega.

Jimin ducks his head in shame.

“It’s been like what? A month or two?? Since you broke this sudden news to me and maybe Tae because you two could never hide anything from each other. BUT you. told. me”

Jimin flinches, making the elder lower down his voice.

“I’m not angry, Min-ah. I just thought, if anyone, Yoongi deserves to know. He holds an important place in your life, then and now. You can’t avoid him forever”

“I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“I know something has changed between you two. But you can’t let your fear consume you. Or you will lose him and yourself”.

I lost him already.

Jimin nods, feeling defeated- his shoulders slumped tiredly.

“You went for a doctor’s appointment last week?” Jin decides to change the topic as he pours himself tea into his empty cup.

Jimin nods again. “They are monitoring my cycles so they would know when to start the treatment. The only thing I should be worried about right now is choosing the sperm donors”. 

“Have you chosen them?”

“Well,” He pulls out a stack of paper from the countertop drawer. It is still there because he was browsing the list last night. “They all seem healthy and have the perfect genes. Any of them is fine to me, I’m not that picky”

Jin gasps dramatically. “You should be careful of choosing the genes, Jimin-ie. What if your pup doesn’t inherit your beauty? That will be a disaster!!”

“I will still love them the same”

“Of course you are” The elder snorts and takes the papers from Jimin’s hands. “I will choose for you. Since I’m the Godfather”

Jimin rolls his eyes but lets the beta do whatever he wants.

“Okay, listen to this one. A male. Of course. Height 6’2. Wonderful. IQ 148. Perfect. Live in Jeju. Hmm too far. Special trait is reading a psychology book in one sitting. Hmm” Jin purses his lips. “Sounds like Namjoon” He writes an “X” at the bottom of the page. “Why didn’t they include names and a picture of them in this list? Is it to protect the donors’ privacy?”

“Ah, I requested it that way” Jimin tells him, “I don’t feel like knowing their identity,” He shrugs.

Jin only hums at that, and proceeds to skim through each paper. “Ah, I got another good one. He is short, just a few centimeters taller than you. From Daegu but live in Seoul. Oh, he graduated from the same University as us. Just a year after me. He makes music now”

Yoongi makes music too. 

Jimin shakes his head. “Hyung” He calls, interrupting the elder from reading through the donors’ details. “I really don’t want to know anything about them. I just want this to be me and my pup alone…” He has no reason to know anything about them when he doesn’t want anything with them.

“I understand. Don’t worry about it” Jin ruffles the younger’s hair playfully. “When is your next appointment?”

Jimin grabs the calendar sitting on the countertop and scans the February page until he finds what he is looking for, “Next Tuesday ”.

The elder hums, swallowing the tea and feels hot liquid flows down his throat and warms his chest. When he is done, he puts the cup back to the countertop. “You can reach us anytime, you know?” He tells Jimin.

“I know”

“Yoongi too would be more than happy to help you so let him know he is allowed to, alright?”

Jimin only nods, thankful that his friends never quit on him, not years ago, not now or ever. He wishfully hopes so.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

His friends only found out about the abuse 2 months after that one movie night they watched Love, Rosie . They had their suspicions that night, seeing how Jimin refused to take off his scarf and jacket when it was warm inside the house, seeing how quiet and forced Jimin tried to act ‘happy’ and how Jimin avoided the topic of his boyfriend.

They first thought it was just a mere fight between couples, one that didn’t turn physical. But when his long sleeves shirt with a scarf around his neck or a turtleneck shirt stayed even in Summer, it elevated their suspicion more.

“Jimin-ah”

Jimin hummed, not looking at Jin but the notebook on his lap. He has a test tomorrow.

“You know you can reach us whenever you need help, right?”

Jimin paused his reading, looking up at the elder with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, if you need help with your study or stuff ”

“Sure” The omega shrugged and shifted his attention back to his notebook. But the rest of his reading didn’t quite reach his brain, when Jin’s words kept coming back to his head over and over again.

It was a week after Jin’s failed attempt to persuade Jimin into talking with them that the others started to get frustrated and Taehyung was one second closer to just kick the door of Jimin’s dorm open and caged the younger into talking about the bruises on his wrist and hip (and maybe many more?) that unintentionally got uncovered when he was stretching or dancing. Of course, Yoongi stopped him before the beta could do something stupid, like scaring the Omega away.

“Talk to him, hyung. He always listen to you” 

It wasn’t like Yoongi never try before, he did throw few hints here and there, ‘If you have something to tell me, anything at all haha, you can talk to me’ , ‘hey, I’m the best advisor out there, you can ask me anything, promise!!’ , ‘ You know my shoulders are broad, right? you can lean on it whenever you want’.. That was a little embarrassing, but he tried. He never got anything from the boy though.

Not even after Yoongi confronted Jimin in the dance studio. It was a weird night, one that made him sick in the stomach.

Jimin was at the dance studio when his phone pinged with notification from the group chat which went unnoticed over the loud music blaring from the speaker. It was currently 15 minutes to 10pm but he had no intention of going home anytime soon. He was always the last one to leave the studio, practicing until his body ached and feet bruised. It was a great feeling, to have the music consumed him, controlled him. His movements were light and graceful. He moved and twirled and jumped as the beats guided his way.

Jimin felt free. He always was, when he danced.

His body light when he lifted his feet off the air, arms spread open and he twisted like a ballerina on the ice rink and landed on his toes with grace. Jimin had always loved contemporary dance, had been dancing since he was a little child that it had become a part of him and to have someone who he thought he once loved take a piece of him made him a little dead inside.

The music had stopped, filling the studio with an eerie silence. And it made him feel empty, trapped . He stood by the wide, vast mirror, his head arching backward to look up at the ceiling, one hand raised and palm spread open like he was trying to reach something , his freedom that seemed to be so far away . He blinked, the lights above him made him feel lightheaded. He closed his palm into a tight fist and let it fall to his side.

His shoulders sagged, eyes downcast to the mirror and he looked at himself. He looked broken and sad. It was pathetic to see but he didn’t have time to mourn his pathetic self when the door to the dance studio bursted open. It was definitely a wrong time for Yoongi to come visit him; with takeaway foods in his hand, for his bad thoughts came crawling in his head once again. The person in front of him was his best friend Yoongi, who always brought comfort by his presence only, but tonight, he couldn’t recognize his own best friend, for all he saw was his nightmare standing above him, looking at him with clear distaste.

No. Jimin shook his head. This is my safe place. Get out. Get out. 

The moment Jimin’s face morphed into fear, Yoongi panicked, dropping the takeaway bags in his shock. He was utterly lost on what to do, no one was around and he didn’t know if he should approach someone who was clearly having a sign of panic attack especially when he might be the one who triggered it. His heart broke at the thought of him hurting Jimin. 

In his sorrow however, the need to protect his best friend increased tenfold as foul smell started to clog his nostrils. Immediately, he released his soothing alpha pheromone out of instinct and in his effort to comfort the omega. It took every ounce of his insanity to hold himself from pulling the omega into his arms. He knew not to touch the omega when it could only worsen Jimin’s panic attack.

The omega had curled himself on the floor, face hidden behind his knees. He didn’t register the cinnamon scent starting to take over his foul smell. But he felt calmer than before. His mind hazy from the intense scent of cinnamon that blanketed him protectively, bringing more tears into his eyes. He wanted to tell Yoongi but he was so scared to speak up.

After Jimin fully calmed down from his “episode”, the alpha offered to walk him home. Although it was more like an order than a request. It left Jimin with no choice but to relent. The omega was grateful that Yoongi never brought up the event earlier as they walked quietly to his apartment. It was a long walk but neither complained.

Yoongi kept throwing worried gazes towards Jimin who followed closely behind him. He wanted to ask the younger what the actual fuck happened earlier. The question sat heavily on his tongue but he didn’t dare to ask, hoping the younger would open up to him instead.

The first snow fell from the sky when the building of Jimin’s apartment came into view, hitting the Earth faintly, slowly making the ground white. The omega gasped as he halted, lifting his head up and watched one of the snowflakes descended to his nose. His eyes squinted to the snowflake now resting on his button nose, not catching the way Yoongi’s breath hitched.

They continued to walk and Yoongi remained by Jimin’s side as they entered the building and got into the elevator. He wanted to say something, anything, before the elevator opened, forcing them apart again. He opened his mouth only to close it after, cursing at himself for not having the courage to voice out his thoughts. The elevator ding and Yoongi felt dejected. He walked out of the square confinement, the omega following after.

Jimin’s nose immediately hit with a familiar tree scent. He halted right at the front door of his apartment, feeling dread rushing into his head. His eyes shifted from the door to Yoongi. His alpha friend threw him a concerned look, sensing the discomfort from how he smelt. Jimin shook his head. There was no way he would get Yoongi involved. He waved the alpha goodbye, giving off a silent signal that he didn’t want Yoongi inside his apartment.

Yoongi only nodded. If he was hurt by it, he masked it well. 

After the alpha had disappeared behind the closed door of the elevator, Jimin turned around, facing the door, preparing himself for the worst. This time though Jimin was ready for Kihyun to paint more colors into his skin until the alpha was satisfied. Jimin didn’t fight, not because he was weak but because he knew he couldn’t win.

The abuse went on for days, which quickly turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Jimin isolated himself further from his friends. Every so often, he skipped his classes when his friends started to appear at the front door of his classroom. The security lock of his apartment changed. Their numbers were blocked. But his friends never gave up. The knock on his door was persistent, their shouts were loud but Jimin only buried himself in the safety of his nest, shutting himself from the outside world. 

Spring came and passed. Then, the warmth breeze of Summer heated up the Earth. Jimin wore a long sleeve shirt and long pants. He was sweating from head to toe but his clothes stayed. Even at home, he covered his skin, hating how the faded and fresh bruises blossoming on his slendered body. He stopped looking at the mirror. He stopped talking. He stopped living. 

It continued like that until Yoongi, Jin and Taehyung managed to persuade Resident Assistant (RA) to open the door to his dorm. Jimin tensed under their scrutiny eyes. A spicy scent of an alpha suddenly wafted over his nose, making him impulsively coiled. Jimin knew the scent belonged to Yoongi but it didn’t settle the fear inside him.

It tore Yoongi apart. With a heavy heart, he stepped back almost reluctantly. His inner alpha was screaming at him to comfort the omega but he couldn’t do anything when Jimin clearly rejected his alpha pheromone. It left an ugly feeling in his chest. Still, the alpha opted only to watch at the side while Taehyung took it as incentive to approach Jimin. 

Yoongi stayed rooted to his position, averting his eyes from them to study the living room. He took a whiff, nose unsubtly scrunched at the smell of something rotten, overpowering the sweet peachy scent. It felt horribly wrong. Jimin’s alpha must have been here last night. But it still didn’t sit right with him. He wondered if the alpha’s scent had always smelled faulty and angry or was it just his sensitive nose. He hoped it was the latter. 

Yoongi shifted his attention back towards Jimin. The omega had gradually relaxed, but still looked guarded, arms wrapping around his small torso. His brows furrowed. Was it the oversized sweater that made Jimin look smaller than he actually was? But why did Jimin even wear sweaters in this crazy heat? Even Yoongi in his loose shirt was sweating from the warm Summer breeze slipping through the window gap. A horrible thought couldn’t help but crept into his head, making his stomach turn. 

The shocked gasp from the two betas snapped Yoongi out of his reverie. His senses flaring in alarm. He looked over Seokjin’s shoulder, eyes narrowing at what he assumed were raw and scarred bruises spreading over the omega’s arms. He took a sharp intake of breath. His fists clenched tightly, turning his knuckles white. He faintly smelled blood from how hard he dug his nails into his palms. A low growl resonated in his chest, which did not go unnoticed by the others' presence in the room.

Seokjin quickly exchanged a few words to Taehyung before he turned away, advancing towards Yoongi. His hands were raised up to make it known to Yoongi that he wasn’t the threat. The growl ceased but the alpha didn’t let his guard down, eyes following Taehyung who was aiding Jimin as they walked to the omega’s bedroom. Only when they dropped out of sight, he finally shifted his gaze back to the beta. He saw the rage burning in Seokjin’s eyes and the determination to make things right. He nodded at the elder, feeling the same rage bubbling inside him.

Taehyung had managed to convince Jimin to remove each piece of his clothing, all the while refraining himself from bursting with anger as each bruise slowly made its appearance. He took a deep breath, his eyes shimmering with tears as he looked away. They heard a knock a moment later, making them turn towards the door. Taehyung told them to wait while he led Jimin to his nest and wrapped a thick blanket around Jimin’s body. Frail and bruised.

The two elders entered the room with cautious steps. Yoongi had calmed down enough not to unveil his rage in front of the vulnerable omega. He stood a safe distance away from Jimin. The last thing he wanted was to make Jimin feel unsafe from his presence. He nodded at Taehyung and the beta returned it back.

Taehyung knelt in front of Jimin, his hands clasping tightly around Jimin’s tiny ones as he urged Jimin to tell them what happened. His thumb rubbing soothingly on Jimin’s knuckles as the omega recalled back the day it first happened. He swallowed back his tears as he listened. Seokjin sat next to him, his hand trembling when he brought it up to wipe the tears rolling down Jimin’s cheeks.

“He said it was my fault. He said I made him do this because I was.. careless. Because I allowed other alphas to leave their scent on me. He said I did this to myself. He said it was my fault… it was my fault”

Jin quickly hushed him, pulling him to his chest. “It is not your fault, never your fault”

Yoongi had left a while ago, to greet the officers and let them in. He warned the officers that the omega wasn’t in a good condition and they had to be cautious when handling Jimin. They opted to wait outside the bedroom which Yoongi had purposely left the door ajar as they listened to the details of each incident. It was an omega officer who was the first one to approach Jimin, bringing some sort of assurance that Jimin wasn’t in danger, that he will be safe from now on.

Jimin held on to that promise. After the news of Kihyun’s arrest reached him, he broke down in the arms of his friends. It wasn’t sadness or regret. It was a relief. It was freedom. As he closed his eyes in the comfort of his friends, he found himself slowly falling into a deep slumber. One that he hadn’t experienced for a long time. Because for the first time in a long time, he felt safe. Although, his nightmare still followed him wherever he went and whenever he closed his eyes.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

After Jimin graduated, he applied as a head caregiver at the same childcare center he volunteered at during his University year. With a home care aide certificate and 3 years volunteer work, he was easily accepted. He is 24 years old now, a proud and certified caregiver who loves pups more than anything in the world. To Jimin, pups are magical things; how they easily creep into his heart to make sure it remains beating. Pups are his miracles; for they bring hopes and colors into his life when he thought his life was no longer meaningful.

He never thought he would come this far. If his friends hadn’t helped him back then, he wouldn’t be here, as alive as he could be. 

The sound of the doorbell interrupts his thought. Suddenly he is reminded of his friends’ plan to visit him. But what he didn’t expect before he opened the door was to see the person he had been trying to avoid standing right in front of him.  A rush of cinnamon scent invaded his nose but he was too shocked to even register an alpha is just an arm length from where he stood. When he did however, he backed away, distancing himself from the person he knew was far from a threat. 

Yoongi only smiles at him, masking the hurt on his face from Jimin’s reaction and waits by the door until Jimin invites them in. He would wait, even for hours or days until Jimin let him, if not for their impatient friends standing behind him, peeking above his shoulder and asking him why he hasn’t walked inside.

Realizing there’s two more people behind Yoongi, Jimin slowly regains his composure and lets everyone in. 

Okay , I can do this. Jimin tells himself, as he closes the door behind him and turns to his guests. The omega inside him protests, screaming at him to stay far away from the alpha, but he pushes it away, making himself deaf to the loud voice inside his head and letting the familiar spicy scent guide his feet forward.

Jimin isn’t actually looking his way but the hardwood floor as he walks, forcing him to an abrupt halt when someone else's feet, bigger than him, came into view. When he looked up, Seokjin was looming over him with his hands on either side of his hips.

“Park Jimin”

Jimin blinks, confused to see the disapproval look on the elder’s face.

The look on the elder’s face, the disappointment laced in his voice, brought back a horrible past he is still learning to forget. Jin had called his name with the same stern voice before, the day they found out about the abuse; for not telling them sooner, for not trusting them.

 He wonders what he did wrong this time.

“Jimin..” Seokjin sighs, making the younger flinch. “I’m not mad at you, Min-ah” He clarifies, stepping closer to the omega. “I’d be disappointed if you thought of me that way” He pouts childishly, trying to bring a smile to the younger’s face.

“You weren’t?”

The elder beta shakes his head, lips curved into a soft smile. “I’m just sad you didn’t touch my food” he gestures towards the fridge.

Oh. 

“Come on. You’re gonna eat my home-cook Sundubu-jjigae and I won’t accept a no for an answer”

Jimin sighs in relief, following the elder to the kitchen. He didn’t do anything wrong. While Seokjin warms up the stew, Jimin tries to make himself useful but before he could even try to help, Taehyung drags him away from the kitchen.

“What?” Jimin looks up but Taehyung doesn’t look at him but ahead of them as his friend leads him to his bedroom. They passed the dining table where Yoongi is currently at, taking out groceries they probably bought on their way here. Jimin’s heart thuds in his chest when their eyes meet but he quickly looks away and lets himself be dragged by Taehyung.

Once they step inside Jimin’s bedroom, Taehyung closes the door before he pulls Jimin to sit on the bed as he follows suit. They shift so they could face each other, Jimin cocks an eyebrow and waits for Taehyung to open his mouth. When he finally did, it wasn’t something Jimin wasn’t expecting. The moment he saw Yoongi when he opened the door earlier, he knew his beta friends were up to something.

“Please, Chim. This is your chance to tell him” Taehyung whines into his space, coaxing Jimin to look at his puppy eyes. “The treatment is tomorrow, he has to know. You know he has to know, right?”

Jimin doesn’t say anything, contemplating excuses in his head.

“Tomorrow is your big BIG day” he emphasizes. “And Yoongi hyung is your bestest friend, you would want him to be there for you, right? If you don’t tell him tonight, you’d regret it, Chim. I know you would”

“But-”

“What’s stopping you, really? You can’t lose him more than you already have”

“I…” Jimin looks down at his hands “It’s just.. he... the way he is looking at me…”

“Hmm?” There is a genuine confusion on Taehyung’s face because as far as he knows, Yoongi has never looked at Jimin with an ill feeling, as a matter of fact, Yoongi only ever looks at Jimin like he is a precious gem.

“He is always sad,” Jimin tells him. “Whenever he looks at me, he is always sad”

“Jimin-ah”

“I just.. I can’t do this to him. I don’t want to see him sad”

“You think he would be sad to hear you’re going to make a baby?”

“Don’t say it like that!!” Jimin blushes furiously and uses his pillow to cover his face.

Taehyung giggles but only for a moment before he straightens up and takes the pillow from Jimin’s hand. “Don’t you think he wouldn’t be so proud knowing you dare yourself to do something most people fear?”

Jimin’s eyes widen, breath hitching, as he stares at his friend.

“He might be sad, yes. But not because of this, never this. He would be sad only if he finds out he is the last person to know”

Guilt is apparent on Jimin’s face then.

But Taehyung soothes him. “It is never too late. You can still tell him and he would ask you why you couldn’t tell him beforehand but also, he would tell you how proud he is to see how much you’ve grown for you to make such a big decision”

Jimin smiles, eyes watery. “Okay”

“Okay?”

“After we eat. I’ll tell him” He’s nervous but he’s gonna do it. Not for anyone’s sake but because Yoongi deserves to know; for saving him many years ago and for being his best friend, even when Jimin didn’t deserve him.

“Okay” Taehyung nods, pressing the pillow to his chest as he rests his chin on top of it. “I hope…” He starts, hesitant. “I just wish… You didn’t have to lose him. Back then, I mean…”

“Hmm?”

“I just wish, you won’t have to be so scared of...him”

“Oh” Jimin’s hands tremble then but Taehyung holds them like they are precious, rubbing his knuckles gently so they would stop shaking.

“But we know it is not your choice and he never blames you for it. You know that, right?” The beta pulls Jimin closer until what separates them is the pillow squeezed between their bodies. “Tell me that you know”

Jimin leans his head on the pillow, just below where Taehyung has rested his chin. His legs are angled oddly but Jimin still feels comfortable in Taehyung’s arms. “I know, Tae”

“Good”

“But you are wrong. I’m not scared of him” Tears are welling in his eyes and they fell when he closed his eyes as he took a deep calming breath.

Jimin has always known it isn’t fear that forces him to avoid Yoongi. It is the look on Yoongi’s face, the look he had 3 years ago, the look he has now, and Jimin knows what it is. It is guilt. When Yoongi found out Kihyun only hurted Jimin because of his scent, he placed the blame on himself. Jimin wanted to argue back then, he wanted to make Yoongi understand it was never his fault for what had happened to him. Every time he saw the alpha, he could see the guilt slowly eating Yoongi up. 

“I’m not scared of him,” Jimin has to make his friend see “He is my best friend, I could never” His tears keep falling and soaking the pillow.

“But he doesn’t know that, Chim. Will you let him know?”

Jimin only tightens the grips he has on Taehyung’s back, otherwise he would break and crumble. He has stayed strong for 3 years, he can’t break down now.

When Jimin’s tears finally cease, it is already half past 2 in the evening. They disentangle and stretch their limbs, giggling as they do, before they get up and ready to go outside where the two elders are waiting for them.

Jimin feels guilty the moment he sees his two friends sitting by the dining table, the food untouched and has turned cold. He takes a seat opposite Yoongi, a clean and empty plate is already set before him. The smell of Sundubu-jjigae and grilled beef make him salivate. Without Jin, he probably only eats noodles and takeouts for the rest of his life. “Thank you for the food, Jin hyung”

Jin shrugs, “I only cooked the jjigae, Yoongi grilled the meat”

“Oh” Jimin looks at Yoongi, then to the meat before he looks back at the alpha. “T-thank you too, Yoongi-hyung”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, shocked at being addressed to. “Oh, it-it’s nothing. Don’t worry” He smiles sheepishly. “Please eat a lot, Jimin-ah”

Finding the whole situation hilarious, Taehyung pipes in. “Thank you too, Yoongi hyung! I will eat a lot! Ouch!” he pouts at Jimin and rubs his arm where the omega had pinched him.

Ignoring the beta, Jimin starts to eat in silence and listens to his friends chattering about random topics he doesn’t find interesting. He tries the meat Yoongi grilled, chewing it slowly as he contemplates whether to make a comment on it just for the sake of conversing with the alpha. The meat is tender and juicy and it melts in his mouth. And yet, he chose to keep quiet. Taehyung is loud beside him, complaining about how hard it is to get a decent job that pays well.

“Maybe I should just audition to be a rapper”

Yoongi snorts at that, picking his food with his chopstick but not really eating it. When he feels eyes on him, he looks up, cocking an eyebrow. “What?”

“You think I can’t be a rapper?” Taehyung asks, hand on his chest, acting like he is really offended.

“Uhm” he looks at Jimin, then at Taehyung, lips pursing as he thinks of the right words to say. “I respect your devotion in rap” he starts, taking a slow sip of cold water. “But I heard you rap before…”

“And?” There’s sparkles in Taehyung’s eyes and he waits with hands clasped around his chopstick.

“And…” Yoongi gulps and he can see from his peripheral vision Jin is shaking- trying to suppress his laughter. “I think… you can be.. better? I mean, if you actually follow the beats...”

The table is silent for a while and Yoongi thinks he fucks up but then he hears giggle and certainly it wasn’t from him, or Jin or Taehyung who is still trying to process what he had told him. The giggle doesn’t quiet down, not when Jin joined and bursted into his windshield wiper laugh. Taehyung still looks kinda lost but soon he joins too. Yoongi doesn’t laugh with them, but a smile grows on his face still, as he watches Jimin giggles behind his hand.

After they are done joking around and their plates clean with no leftovers, Jin hums appreciatively, pleased that his friends enjoyed his food. Jimin volunteers to clean the dishes but Jin shoos him away, “But hyung, you already cooked” he whines.

“I’m not letting you step inside the kitchen, not today. You should rest…” Jin gives the younger one a stern look. “For tomorrow, you should rest” 

Jimin gives in, knowing he would never win an argument with the elder. And besides, there’s something he still needs to do. He promised Taehyung he would. As if Taehyung could hear his thoughts, the beta sent him a wink before he trailed behind Jin, leaving him with Yoongi. He fiddles with his sweater paws, unsure of how to approach the alpha. He was never awkward with Yoongi before, not 3 years ago.

Watching the weird exchange, Yoongi seems to get the hunch of what’s going on. “Shall we... move to the living room?” he initiates, looking as nervous as Jimin is. He waits until Jimin nods before he takes a step towards the sofa seating across the TV. Jimin follows suit, choosing to sit on the same sofa as him which is a little surprising.

“How are you?” Yoongi asks, which may seem like a typical question to start a conversation but to him, it is more than that. He hasn’t seen the younger for a while, not because the younger is avoiding him but because he is busy lately as he has just recently been promoted to be a music producer at one of the biggest Entertainment companies. Thus, he is genuinely curious about how Jimin is doing lately; if the younger is eating well, if the younger is happy, if the younger is… okay.

“I’m still living, I guess” Jimin shrugs, opting to leave it just like that but when he looked up and saw how Yoongi was looking at him, he felt like comforting the elder. “But I’m getting better. I’m okay, right now, I’m okay”

Yoongi nods and feels himself relaxing as he leans his back further to the sofa. “I’m glad, Jimin-ah”

“Yeah” He is glad too. Forcing himself to live day by day is tiring, so he is glad that at this moment, he genuinely feels like living. “Tomorrow, I’m-...” He fidgets, feeling his anxiousness just minutes prior returns to him. “Tomorrow, I-I need you…”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi reassures the younger. “You can take it slowly”

Jimin nods, taking a deep breath just how his therapist had taught him many times before. “I… this could be shocking to hear” he laughs awkwardly just for a short moment, before he fiddles with his sweater paws again, a nervous habit of his. “I don’t know when it was but I.... I had this crazy idea in my head”

Yoongi hums, prompting Jimin to continue.

“I love my work, I love pups” There’s a fond smile on his face as he thinks of tiny pups and their tiny hands and tiny feets and big doe eyes. “They make me smile, make me feel when I haven't felt something for so long, they make me feel… living and I…” Jimin looks at Yoongi, there’s determination in his eyes and Yoongi has never seen Jimin so confident before, “I need them. So I…”

“He is going to make a baby!!!” Taehyung shouts from the kitchen. For someone who wanted Jimin to rethink his decision, Taehyung sounds a little too enthusiastic. 

“I told you not to say it like that!!” Jimin huffs, crossing his arms across the chest, sulking. He can hear his heart beating wildly, for what reason he didn’t know. Perhaps, he was embarrassed by Taehyung’s choice of words. Perhaps, it was something else.

When Jimin realized how quiet Yoongi was, he suddenly felt insecure; if his best friend thinks of him differently or even looks at him differently now because Jimin won’t be just Jimin now, but someone who will bear a pup. Jimin wonders if Yoongi will be happy for him, if Yoongi accepts him still. He wonders what he will see if he looks up and meets Yoongi’s eyes. 

“Is it true?” There’s no malice in Yoongi’s voice, just genuine curiosity and it took the younger a whole minute to answer.

“Oh uhm” Jimin uncrossed his arms, but hasn’t had the courage yet to look up at the elder. “Yes, it is true. I… I had been planning this for a long time but… I’m finally doing it,” he told Yoongi. “I had been seeing a specialist doctor in the past few months to discuss about this and uhm…tomorrow, finally, I can start the treatment”

Yoongi listens quietly, as he always does.

“We don’t know if it will work the first time, it might not,” he chuckles. “If it doesn’t, I will have to try and try until I finally bear one”

Yoongi purses his lips, seemingly deep in thought. He wasn’t expecting this at all, when Jin called him earlier asking him if he wanted to tag along, he really had no idea. The two were suspicious during the ride but he thought it was just their usual attempt to make him talk to Jimin, not that he never tried. But this wasn't what he expected to hear from the younger.

“I know it sounds like the dumbest and craziest decision, I mean… ” he pauses and rests his palm on his flat stomach. “I’m making a baby,” he emphasizes. “by inserting sperm from different strangers. How crazy is that?” He thinks he will crack right there and then, if not for Yoongi’s presence next to him. 

“I don’t think it is dumb” Yoongi finally says, his voice is reassuring. “I think you’re very strong” 

Jimin tilts his head, confused. Strong is definitely not what he is. How is he… strong? When he does all this… just to get himself to carry on with his pathetic life. Weak would be what best describes him.

“Now, don’t make that face” he chides the younger. “I know what you’re thinking but push those thoughts away” he clicks his tongue in disapproval. “You’re strong, Jiminie. You were strong when you told us what happened to you many years ago. You were strong when you came to the therapy session to get help because that wasn’t an easy thing to do because it takes courage. And you were strong when you made this decision to bear a pup. It must have been frightening for you. But you did it still. You’re strong, Jimin”

Jimin sniffs then when he couldn’t hold it any longer. Tears are continuously falling from his eyes and he looks away, even when it does nothing to hide his tears, for they are as loud as the eyes could wail.

Yoongi doesn’t look, nor does he listen. Jimin is currently in his vulnerable state and if the younger doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, Yoongi will respect it.

After a while, his tears cease, eyes bloodshot red and nose puffy. He takes one deep breath and wipes his wet cheeks. “Thank you, hyung. For everything you did. I know it was long due, 3 years to be exact but thank you for saving my life and,” he pauses, taking a deep breath “I’m not afraid of you… if that’s what you think, I’m not” he looks at Yoongi, their eyes finally met. He really needs Yoongi to know, however late he was, Yoongi deserves to know his truth. 

The alpha goes tense, shocked to hear it directly from Jimin’s mouth. Their friends had tried to convince him of the same thing but he had refused to listen. Because what else could be the reason why Jimin kept avoiding him? Yet now that Jimin confessed he wasn’t actually afraid of him, he truly wants to believe him. So he nods, “Thank you” his lips parted in a smile. He didn’t understand still; why Jimin had cowered away at the sight of him, why Jimin was always quiet when he was around. There are still so many questions he is dying to ask but he holds his tongue. 

Jimin said nothing to it but his eyes bored into Yoongi’s dark orbs, seeking for a secret that lay in those eyes. He doesn’t stare long, for he is terrified of what he would see. So, he looks down at his hand instead. 

“There’s something in your mind,” Yoongi points out, making the younger one lifts up his head. It feels like they are in a staring contest when one doesn’t want to look away and at that moment Yoongi wonders why the other two are taking so long washing the dishes.

“You didn’t ask,” Jimin finally tells him. 

“Uh?”

“You didn’t ask me” The omega repeats, his voice a little loud over the sound of the dishwasher running. It must be Jin because Taehyung prefers washing the dishes by hand. “Why I didn’t tell you sooner”

“Yes, I didn’t” His smile grows wider, “Because I know you’d tell me when you’re ready”

The trust Yoongi has on him, even after everything that has happened, makes his heart ache. He yearns for his best friend but he knows it would take time for them to go back to the way they used to. Afterall, it has been 3 years. Jimin wonders then, if Yoongi is willing to wait for him until he is himself again, until he can be Yoongi’s best friend again. 

Later when Jimin asked Yoongi if he would like to accompany him to the maternity clinic where he would undergo the treatment for the first time, Yoongi was quick to agree. The doctor had set the date tomorrow because his heat just ended a few days ago. He was told the best time to perform IUI is after his heat, where fertility is at its highest.

Night passes by quickly and morning comes as the sun begins to peek from the horizon. Everyone is tense at the waiting room, Jimin sits between his friends, hands shaking out of nervousness. But Taehyung holds his hand until their hands are sweating and only let go when they get too sticky. Jin pats his shoulder when he passes by to sit next to Taehyung and tells him it won’t hurt a bit. “They are not cutting you open, so you don’t have to worry” Jimin doesn’t feel comforted at all.

Hoseok, who stands by the window, snickers at that but doesn’t say anything when Jin shoots him with a pouty-glare. Namjoon, the wisest, recites the procedure and its mild risks every five minutes just to make Jimin feel less nervous. The whole “injecting sperm into his uterus” scared the hell out of him when he first read it on the Internet but the doctor assured him it would be quick and painless. 

He appreciates his friends’ efforts, he really does, but they only make him more nervous than he already is and he doesn’t need that, not now. He is nervous, he is annoyed and he is not even pregnant yet! His friends seem to notice his distress quickly and stop whatever they are trying to do. He feels a little guilty about it but he can’t get too overwhelmed before the treatment even starts. He needs space. He needs his warm blanket. He needs…

That’s when a strong and familiar scent hits his nostril and he looks up to Yoongi who is standing next to Hoseok by the window. The alpha is casually leaning on the wall, arms crossed on the chest, as he listens to Hoseok rambling about the kid he met yesterday at work. Jimin could pick up the words “singing”, “cute”, “bunny teeth” but he wasn’t really listening to what the beta said. Instead, he keeps watching the alpha and realizes how much Yoongi cares. He might not seem like he cares because he is just standing there, doing nothing but at the same time he’s doing the most to comfort him, just by quietly releasing his calm pheromone without anyone knowing, except him. Yoongi’s cinnamon scent envelopes him, like a fluffy warm blanket, just what he needed the most.

His lips part into a fond smile as he rests his head on Taehyung’s shoulder until his name is called.

Chapter Text

Spring is almost reaching the end. The sunny weather of May has Jimin sweating under the many layers of blankets he has draped over himself after a long phone call with Taehyung. The beta has promised to come over later to see if the pregnancy test will finally give him the result he wants. It was his second attempt. He had been told the percentage rate of success is low during the first two cycles so he doesn’t want to give himself high hopes this time too.  

Pushing the blankets off him, he climbs out of the bed. Sweats trickle down his spine and he decides taking a warm bath will take his mind off somewhere. He grabs his favorite flavor lavender bath bomb from the rack and tosses it into the tub filled with warm water. Once the water bubbles and lavender scent begins to spread all over the room, he takes off his clothing until he is completely naked before he sinks his body. A contented sigh escapes his lips and he leans his head at the edge of the tub as he gets himself comfortable.

He might just stay there until Taehyung shows up. The Summer this year will be scorching hot and his nesting habit only makes the day hotter than it already is. He has no idea why the needs of nesting have gotten a lot worse these past few days. He guesses the IUI has kinda messed up his hormones. Talking about hormones, he wonders how much a pregnancy could affect his everyday life. He heard about the mood swings, the cravings, the morning sickness, back pains and blister feet. And it would only get a lot worse when he is nearing labor. 

Jin is right. How can he do this without a mate to share the pain?

A look of forlorn sweeps over his face. It is not the pain that worries him most but his pup’s future. His heart aches at the thought that his pup would only have one parent. He feels like he has failed as a father already. He can’t even give his pup a perfect family. Even if he one day falls in love with someone, would he be ready for a relationship again? That is, if that person wants someone who already bears a child of not their own. 

Alpha has pride and is protective over their lineage. They would never risk mating with someone who would break their lineage; either by being infertile or carrying a child who isn’t from his blood. Jimin will never mate, not after he carries a 9 pound baby in his stomach. That’s not a pretty visual an alpha would hope for. 

It’s fine. It is a sacrifice he is willing to take if it means he could hold a small cute pup that looks just like him in his arms. Yes, it is definitely worth the sacrifice. He doesn’t need a mate.

He stays in the bathtub until his fingers look all wrinkly. By the time he finishes putting on his clothing; blue shorts and oversized white tee, the doorbell rings. He quickly dries his hair and off to welcome Taehyung.

“What takes you so long? It is so hot outside and it is not even Summer yet” The beta whines childishly as he removes his shoes before pulling his best friend for a hug. “How are you today, Chim? Feeling pregnant yet?”

“I don’t know” His voice is muffled by the shirt Taehyung is wearing. He looks up without pulling away and pouts at his friend. “When did you get taller than me?”

“I have always been taller than you” He sticks out his tongue. “Now let’s get the pregnancy test and see if I can already call myself an uncle today” His glee is contagious and Jimin laughs cheerily as Taehyung drags him to the bathroom. “Are you ready, Chim?”

Jimin nods, sweats forming on his forehead despite just having a bath earlier. “I’m ready”

“Good, now go pee on this” He says brazenly, shoving the pregnancy test kit onto Jimin’s chest. 

“Stop saying things weirdly” Flustered, Jimin pushes the door open and gets inside.

The moment Taehyung was left outside, he couldn’t get still as he paced back and forth near the door. Despite his hesitancy to support his best friend’s decision at first, he feels excited at the mere thought of becoming an uncle. Well, he wants to be the Godfather but Jin beats him to it. But still, he promised himself he would be the coolest uncle amongst their other friends. He knows he will, because compared to any of them, he knows how to play best! Jimin’s baby will definitely love him the most.

“Why are you taking so long inside?” He knocks on the door. “Are you having trouble peeing?” He hears a flushing noise before the door is abruptly opened.

“I did not have trouble peeing” Jimin glares at his friend, the pregnancy test kit is in his hand; trembling as he grips it tightly. “I was just… nervous”

Taehyung coos, “It will be fine, Chim. Whatever the result is, I’m here”

“Okay” He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. It will be fine, he tells himself. He might not get pregnant today, maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow and if he still doesn’t, fourth time’s a charm?

“Let’s look at it together?”

Jimin nods before slowly turning the kit so they could see the screen on which the lines would appear. There, they saw it. 

Taehyung gasps, looking up at Jimin with his mouth gaped. “I’m an uncle? I’m an uncle!!!” He is bubbling over with excitement, lifting Jimin up with ease as he spins them around. “I’m squealing!! Why are you not squealing with me?” He asks, lips jutted into a pout. When Jimin doesn’t answer, he puts the omega back on his feet and looks him in the eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Jimin blinks at him.

“Do you not want the baby anymore?”

“No!” He shakes his head profusely. “ I mean— yes, I want it still. Of course I do” He says in a small voice. “It’s just… I don’t know if I can be a good father”

“Jimin” He starts, with a smile on his lips “You’re the sweetest and the kindest person I know. I have seen you with kids, I have seen how much you care and love them and they are not even yours” His voice cracked a little, and he bites his lips, suppressing the sob pushing through his throat. “You’re gonna be an amazing dad, Chim”

“Really?” 

“Yes, and I’m so proud of you” He pulls Jimin into a hug, hiding his proud tears from his best friend and squeezes him. “Please be happy, Chim”

He doesn’t want to promise anything, lest he would disappoint his friend.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

A week after his obstetrician affirmed his pregnancy test result, his friends made a shocking visit to his house, to throw a small party Jin and Taehyung had meticulously planned behind his back. Each of them took turns to congratulate him, a big smile plastered on their face as they pulled him into a hug. He returned it gladly, his eyes brimming with happy tears.

He had spent a week feeling terrified at the thought of spending his 9 months in an empty house, sleeping alone on a cold sheet, without anyone by his side to rub his tummy when his baby would finally learn how to kick, no one to massage his swollen feet or help him build his nest to keep him warm and safe. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking of these, afterall, he was ready for it. But now that it finally happened, he had never felt so… alone and hopeless, and it terrified him.

But now seeing his friends, Jimin reminds himself, aah, I’m never alone. His friends have shown him over and over again how they are always there. Jin never missed a day not checking him if he had eaten or if there was still food in the fridge. Taehyung, his dear soulmate, who always holds his hand when it trembles, who is always there when he needs company or a shoulder to cry on and the one who can put a smile back to him when his eyes cry. 

As for Namjoon, he has always been good with words, he would talk with Jimin, about the world, about someone from the other side of the world, about love and trees, and Jimin would listen and it helps him, because sometimes it is the little things that make us feel better. Hoseok is loud, but in a good way, he talks a lot, laughs a lot, he jokes around but he cares so much, Hoseok would remind him to clean his room, because he claims it could make you feel better and some days it does. A little change once in a while, slowly, slowly, he would say and Jimin is always thankful for that.

And Yoongi?

He was the last person to congratulate him and he didn’t hug Jimin like the rest of them did. But he still smiled the same as the others. Yoongi’s smile is always the prettiest to him. 

Feeling a little bit emotional, Jimin rubbed his teary eyes so he could return Yoongi’s smile properly. “Thank you, hyung” He didn’t even know why he thanked the elder, but he had done so with a smile so wide, his eyes turned crescent.

And what about Yoongi? 

Yoongi is his best friend. He came to Jimin’s life when he was still learning his way around Seoul. Yoongi isn’t like any of his friends. He never asks Jimin if he has already eaten, instead he’d just bring Jimin food whenever he stayed in the dance studio till late at night. He doesn’t hold hands but he’d stay by Jimin's side when they watched a horror movie and would let Jimin clung to him. He is not good with words or jokes and is never loud to begin with but he’d listen to Jimin rambling on the phone at late midnight until Jimin fell asleep. Yoongi is that kind of friend, who prefers to stay in the corner and protect him in silence.

“Thank you, hyung” He repeats, giggling when Yoongi’s eyes widen in shock. He waits for Yoongi to say something or anything to happen, maybe the others will realize that they are not following them, maybe they will interrupt them and break the staring contest they seem to be doing right now that is starting to become too much for him.

Thankfully, not long after, they hear a smash coming from the kitchen. They both turn towards the kitchen, although they can’t see through a wall, somehow they have an inkling who caused it. They are quiet for a while, and it is quiet in the kitchen now. They are both thinking of what to say and perhaps waiting for the other to say it first and surprisingly it’s Yoongi who did it first and it’s something that made Jimin laugh.

“Wanna bet it was Namjoon?”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

His apartment has never been this lively before. Not even when he first moved into this apartment. He didn’t have a housewarming party. He wasn’t ready for one, his family and friends understood. They visited often. His family wasn’t sure of Jimin’s decision to live alone at first, they were worried but Jimin assured them that his friends lived close by. If anything happened, they would come running to him and Jimin promised to reach them instead of running away like last time.

“Jiminie, I’m sorry you can’t drink” Taehyung is latching on Jimin, one hand holding a beer while the other wraps around Jimin’s shoulder. “Being pregnant sucks, right?”

Jimin tries not to make a face when the strong scent of alcohol hits his nose as Taehyung nuzzles into his neck. He doesn’t like it when someone does that, particularly because his neck is sensitive, but his friend seems too happy, so he lets him. “It is fine, tae. I can live without drinking” 

Taehyung huffs, “Are you s-sure? Maybe you can take a sip” He offers his own drink, bringing the beer to Jimin’s lips. Before it could even touch Jimin’s lips though, the beer was snagged from his hand. “Oh—” He blinks. “My beer disappeared”

Taehyung can’t drink alcohol well, which is very well known to them. It doesn’t matter anyway, home is a safe place to get drunk so they don’t hold back on drinking. Jimin, on the contrary, isn’t really a fan of alcohol. He used to fear it even. Because sometimes they bring back memories, bad memories. Therapies help him and he’s getting better now. The memories doesn’t come back as frequently as before.

“No more alcohol for you too” 

Jimin freezes and despite how drunk Taehyung is, his best friend seems to notice right away as he tightens his grip around his shoulder. It is not from fear, he wanted to assure the elder. It is not.

But Yoongi beats him to it. “I’m so-sorry, I didn’t mean—” he sighs, his hands clenched into a fist. “I’m really sorry” he takes a step backward, ignoring the concerned eyes of his friends.

“N-no, I—” Jimin unlatched himself from his drunk best friend so he could stand on his feet and look Yoongi in the eyes, which he regrets instantly. Because what he sees in Yoongi’s eyes breaks him. There is regret and guilt and sadness and anger.

Yoongi feels guilty for startling the younger knowing how much Jimin fears alpha but mostly, he is angry at himself that he is someone that Jimin fears when he should be his safety, his comfort and most importantly his best friend. He hates that he is one of Jimin’s fears now.

“I didn’t lie,” Jimin begins. “I told you I wasn’t scared of you. I never was” His voice almost sounds like pleading. He wants Yoongi to understand, to believe him. “You were,.. earlier... I didn’t smell you...” He tries to explain. “That’s why...It startled me. It wasn’t because I’m scared of you, I promise” 

Yoongi considers as he inhales, breathing in the sweet peachy scent with a hint of sour liquor. The room smells like alcohol and it mingles with their scents which is why Jimin couldn’t smell him until he was closer. “Oh” It wasn’t fear. It was a genuine shock on Jimin's part. “Okay”

Jimin smiles a little shyly now, feeling self conscious of his friends watching them. His relationship with Yoongi is still a big question to everyone and even to him. Are they still considered best friend or did his unfair treatment toward Yoongi for the past years have shed the title he obviously did not deserve? He feels bad for their other friends too, the complication of his relationship with Yoongi must have affected them as well.

If it was up to him, he wants to be Yoongi’s best friend again. The only thing that stops him is his stupid insecurity. He doesn’t want to lose more than he already has. He still wishes that someday, they will be okay again. Even if there’s only a little hope, a little spark to build back their friendship, he will hold onto that, no matter how small.

The party continues and Jimin laughs and dances with his friends. The music is too loud, he might get a complaint from his neighborhood tomorrow. But just for tonight, he doesn’t want to worry about anything. He lets Taehyung drag him and spins him around until he gets dizzy and stumbles onto Yoongi’s chest. Instead of pulling away like he usually would do, Jimin just giggles, eyes a little teary from too much laughing. 

“Are you okay?” There are worries laced in his voice. Yoongi is always worried when it comes to Jimin and Jimin wants to change that. He hates seeing Yoongi worry about him.

“I’m happy, hyung” 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

With the frequent rain showers reported in Seoul these past few days reminds him July is fast approaching. Just like most people, Jimin loves when the sky cries. During his off-days, he would choose to stay at home the whole day and spend most of the day lounging on the window seat; reading novels or comics as he listens to the sound of rain hitting the ground. Sometimes, he would open the window when it only drizzles outside and holds out his palm, letting tiny drops of rain touch his skin. He would close his eyes and feel the gentle breeze brushing his skin, as he inhales the fresh, earthy smell of the rain until he dozes off, resting his head on the window sill. 

On the contrary, July might not treat him kindly. There would be downpours and thunders and it would be a hassle to commute to his work placement, especially since he doesn’t drive, especially since he is pregnant. He can bear the weather just fine, but not in the next few months, not when his stomach starts to inflate, feet swelling and back aching. He can’t help but worry now. Maybe he should start listening to Taehyung and get a driving license. He always thought it’s not a necessity when public transportation is easily accessible. There’s Kakao Taxi but he is not yet comfortable being in a closed compartment with a stranger.

Sighing, he puts down his book and rearranges his pillow so his back is fully leaning on the pillow and legs stretched out in front of him. It has stopped raining. He let the window close this time, so the chilly air won't freeze him. He’d enjoy the cool air breeze caressing his skin if not for Seokjin who had scolded him when he visited yesterday. He understood the elder was only worried he’d get sick so he listened. 

Jimin can’t only think of himself anymore but his pup’s wellbeing too. It is weird how his life changes a hundred eighty degrees after he gets pregnant. His life does not belong to him only, but his and his little one.

His little one.

Thinking of his little one growing inside him makes him emotional. He loves his pup so much. It is amazing how one can love someone who hasn’t yet there. Someone who Jimin can’t physically hold yet but feels it grows inside him. There’s just too much love inside his heart that he’s afraid it might burst.

A soft giggle escapes his lips then, he shakes his head and brings his hand to his stomach. It is still too early for a bump to show up, but he caresses it anyway, with a gentle smile on his face. “My little one, I can’t wait till the day I will be able to hold you and shower you with love and kisses” Jimin might not be able to provide a perfect family but he promised he would love his little one twice the amount a father could give. Scratch that, Jimin’s love would be infinite.

As he continues to rub his tummy, his phone pings with a new notification. He picks up his phone and unlocks to find a message from Seokjin. The elder is asking him if he wants to join lunch with Yoongi later. At the mention of the alpha’s name, his heart thuds a little loudly. Ever since the day they had a serious talk in his living room a few months back, they have been trying to patch up their shattered friendship. It is not as easy as it used to. Befriending Yoongi used to be easy but that was because Jimin was always easygoing and overly friendly. 

Jimin sighs, and reminds himself to take it slow and hurriedly replies to Jin. “Okay” 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jin arrives to pick him up just as he finishes putting lip balm on his lips. He didn't want to overdress on a lunch date with his two friends, so he decided on wearing a beige knitted cardigan with white inner top and tight blue jeans because he still can wear one. It is a simple and casual attire but as he scans over his outfit on the mirror, he feels something amiss. He can’t yet figure out what and has no time to ponder much about it because the elder is waiting for him outside. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, he grabs his phone by the sink. Turning on his heels, he made for the door but halts before he could do so. His eyes caught on a shiny jewel sitting on his stack of towels. He must have tossed that away after wearing them and forgot to put it back in its own jewel box. Picking them up, he stares at the objects lying on his palm and then to the mirror. 

These are just what he needed to complete his look. 

Looking at the dangling earrings now securely hooked into place behind his ear lobes, he smiles, pleased at how good he looks. He exits the bathroom and walks to the front door. He slips on his favorite high heel boots which Taehyung had gifted him last year, before he locks the door and walks towards Jin’s car. He quickly slips inside the car— greets the elder and buckles his seat belt. 

“You look pretty today, Jimin-ie”

Jimin blushes at the compliment, muttering his thanks in a small voice. The elder only winks at him in reply. On their way to the restaurant, Jin mentioned Yoongi would be running late as he was out with his colleague, to do what, Jin didn’t mention. It is not his business anyway. 

After they arrive at the restaurant, Jin, having been here many times before, walks him towards a table secluded from the crowds. It meant so much to Jimin how thoughtful his friend is knowing his fear with crowds. The scent of alphas as they passed through was overwhelming for him but he could bear it still, focusing on the sweet calming scents of the omegas presence in the restaurant. 

They don’t really have to wait long for Yoongi to show up, because right after they order their food, they can hear Yoongi’s voice arguing with someone not far from their seat. From the look of it, the argument doesn’t sound serious that could end up with a fight. Jimin doesn’t recognize the person who is arguing with Yoongi but he picks up a faint smell of sandalwood. It is a pleasant smell, which Jimin finds surprising. Curiosity gets the best of him, he dares take another look at the person who stands a few centimeters taller than Yoongi. 

The stranger doesn’t look scary. Seeing the pout on the younger man, he guesses the stranger is younger than what his height and muscular torso suggest. Yoongi is sighing, seeming to give in to whatever the younger is asking. 

“If my friend isn’t comfortable with your presence, you have to leave, okay? I will make it up to you later”

The stranger nods excitedly, hopping as he latches into Yoongi’s arm and drags the elder to their table. The sight has Jimin’s eyes widened, taken aback by how composed Yoongi is, as if he is used to such over-friendly treatment from the stranger. Yoongi isn’t one to enjoy physical contact, even with Jimin, Yoongi used to push him away, until the elder let him in. The stranger must be close to Yoongi for the alpha to let him do whatever he wants.

Yoongi looks apologetic as they are drawing closer to the table. Jin greets them first and it seems like Jin knows the younger alpha too. Jimin feels upset. He wonders how much he is missing in Yoongi’s life.

“Hey, I’m sorry for the late warning but Jungkook wants to join us”

Jungkook... 

Jimin remembers now. Yoongi had mentioned him in one of the few texts they shared. Jungkook is a rookie idol under a company Yoongi works at. Yoongi produced their debut song, which Jimin can’t help but feel proud of his friend. It has always been Yoongi’s dream to be a producer and Jimin is happy Yoongi’s dream has come true. Someday, his dream will too. He doesn’t have one yet, but someday, he might.

“If it is fine with you?” Yoongi asks carefully, lips pursed into a thin line.

Startled at being addressed to, Jimin looks up at him then to Jungkook who is smiling shyly at him. He doesn’t feel the usual fear he would have for Alphas. The omega inside him is calm despite encountering an unfamiliar scent. It could be the scent is too subtle for it to intimidate him. Or perhaps, it’s Yoongi’s familiar scent that calms his anxiousness. “Yea-yeah, it is fine".

“You sit next to Jin” Yoongi orders, which Jungkook happily complies with. With a fond sigh, he shakes his head and plops beside Jimin.

Later he finds that Jungkook was only presented as an Alpha last September, which explains the delicacy of his scent. The more he knows Jungkook, the more reasons he finds why Yoongi seems to dote on the younger. Jungkook is simply adorable. He isn’t like any other alpha he knows, cocky and so proud of themselves. Jungkook acts more like a beta than alpha. He is cheerful and loud. He talks with his mouth full and laughs when Jin makes his famous dad jokes. His eyes twinkle when Yoongi talks, he listens tentatively and babbles excitedly when Yoongi talks about music.

It is so obvious how much Jungkook admires Yoongi. Jimin can’t help the fondness seeping through him. Jungkook reminds him of himself, the Jimin 3 years ago. He misses that.

“You okay?” Jimin heard Yoongi ask him in a quiet voice so only he could hear him, to which he replies “I’m okay”. Jimin offers him a shy smile to reassure the alpha. Yoongi nods, then picks the grilled meat with his chopstick. Instead of eating it, he puts the meat in Jimin’s bowl without saying anything.

Jimin blinks at the meat. He turns to look at Yoongi, the alpha isn’t looking at him but carries on eating as if nothing happened. His cheeks feel warm suddenly and he ducks down to hide his red face. He resumes eating, chewing on the meat slowly, glad none of them noticed the turmoil inside his head.

The alphas had to head back to the company right after lunch. Before they left, Jimin promised to Jungkook he would see the younger again. The instant happiness radiating from the young alpha was evident, it made Jimin feel happy and warm inside.

It was a nice lunch. After he went home, he received a message from Yoongi, “You looked pretty today”, making his cheeks heat up. Only after he cools down, he replies with “Thank you <3”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jimin is doing his rounds today, visiting the pups and toddlers napping room, making sure they are sleeping. It is almost his lunch break, someone will replace him on duty soon. He used to skip lunch, choosing work over his own well-being. Busying himself with work rids his mind off of other things. But now, his priority is his pup’s wellbeing.

Making his way to the last room, he bumps into an intern who will take over his duty. What Jimin likes working here is, all the employees are either Omega or Beta, including the head of department. Because alphas can be overwhelming to some toddlers or kids, they only hire Omega and Beta. His co-workers might not know the details of Jimin’s past, but here, they protect each other and he knows they won’t hurt him. 

Lips curved into a smile, Jimin greets her, “You still have a few minutes left before you have to punch in. Have you eaten?” 

“Yes, Jimin-nim. Thank you for your hard work today” She bows in respect. “You can go and feed your pup, I’ll manage the rest” 

“Oh, if that’s okay with you” His hand absentmindedly caressing the small bump over the large shirt he is wearing. Pregnancy is a really weird thing. Sometimes, he gets hungry too quickly and eats too much. Sometimes, he loses appetites and vomits when he smells food with a strong scent. Sometimes, he has weird food cravings, no matter during daylight or nighttime. The craves just randomly emerge. His doctor did warn him that food aversion and cravings would peak during the first trimester and might continue for the rest of the months until he goes into labor or it might lessen as time passes by. He hopes it will be the latter.

It is not just him who is affected by this mad craving. Some nights, he’d crave for stir-fry chicken feet his mother used to cook for him. Since his family moved back to Busan, he couldn’t bother his mom to fly to Seoul just because of his sudden craves. He later learnt Seokjin had asked his mom for the recipe so he could cook it whenever Jimin craves for it again. Some other days, he’d crave for something he never thought he’d eat like mangoes or beans.

Today however, he suddenly craves for lobster. He blames his co-workers for switching on an eating show channel. Despite being born in a place rich with fresh seafood, he never liked eating them. He can’t stand the salty, fishy smell of sea crustaceans. He’d avoided going to a wet market or seafood restaurant when he was a child, which is why he is shocked at himself as he scrolls over a list of nearby seafood restaurants. One of his co-worker then recommends Haedo sikdang, a famous seafood restaurant.

The MRT station is only a 10 minutes walk from his workplace. After two stops, he can go straight to the restaurant which is located inside Lotte Department store. It is... manageable, he thinks. 

Not wanting to waste more time, he grabs his backpack and heads outside. His plan shatters as soon as he exits the building as he is greeted by loud thunder and heavy downpours. Jimin pouts, stomach already growling to be filled with food. He has no choice but to ask a favor from his friends. He fishes out his phone and types, “Is anyone free to grab lunch with me? :( I’m craving for lobsters today sobs :((”

His friends are quick to reply.

Namjoon hyung
Lobsters? T_T why T_T

Jin hyung
Don’t be so dramatic, Joon. Lobsters are good

Taetae
Oh Chim, I can’t accompany you today. 
Got some errands to do :((

Jin hyung
Unfortunately, hyung is busy today too. 
Maybe Hoseok and Yoongi are free??

Taetae
I’m actually with Hoseok hyung right now. We are so sorry, Chim :((

Jimin quickly types a reply, “Don’t be sorry!! It’s okay :((”

Maybe, he can get Kakao Taxi and request an omega or beta driver. Or he could just order a food delivery. He pouts at the thought. He returns his attention back to the group chat which is flowing with apologetic messages from his friends.

Yoongi hyung is typing...

Jimin sucks in his breath— heart racing as he waits for the text to come. It feels like forever when Yoongi’s text finally came through. 

Yoongi hyung
I have 3 hours before I need to be present in the studio. I can take you
To a seafood restaurant?
Should I bring someone else too or are you comfortable with just the two of us?

Yoongi cares so much. His heart pangs with guilt. 

Heart beating quickly, he types a reply, “I’m okay with just the two of us, hyung” It will be their first lunch together after 3 years, without someone else tagging along. 

Yoongi hyung
Okay
I’ll pick you up?

It is still raining heavily. “Yes, please” He considers for a while, whether to add a heart emoji but decides not to (because the others can see his message and he feels self-conscious about it), and presses send. 

He doesn't understand it yet, why he  always feels so nervous whenever Yoongi's name comes up in the group chat or whenever the elder is around. And when does he start feeling this way? He doubts it was from his fear of alphas because he sures fear doesn't make his heart race and cheeks red?

Perhaps, getting out of his toxic relationship makes him see what he has been blinded from.

Yoongi hyung
Give me 10 minutes, wait inside, okay?
It’s cold

Taehyung
Have fun you two!! T_T I’ll see you on the weekend, chim! <3

Jimin smiles, thumb swiping over the screen. It is really cold outside. He puts his phone back inside his coat’s pocket and rubs his palms to keep warm. Following Yoongi’s advice, he heads back inside and waits for Yoongi. He’s aware of the situation he’s getting himself in. He has never been alone with an alpha for a long time, always being accompanied by his friends anywhere he goes. But he promised himself to try, even if it might go sideways. He thinks he is ready now. After exchanging texts and short calls with the alpha for the past few months, he is ready to take another step forward.

Yoongi is true to his words. After 10 minutes of waiting, Yoongi’s car comes into view, heading to park on the driveway. The transparent glass wall panels allow Jimin to watch Yoongi as the alpha climbs out of the car and unfolded a black umbrella. Nervous, Jimin walks through the automatic slide door and waves shyly at Yoongi.

The elder waves back, lifting the umbrella a little higher as an invitation for Jimin to get under it. Jimin thinks the umbrella is unnecessary when the car is parked just right above the edge of the roof. He feels all warm inside anyway, and thanks the elder who is opening the door for him so he could slip inside without a single drop of rain touching him.

The ride to Lotte Department store is quiet, only the occasional sound of Yoongi’s humming and the pitter patter of the rain against the rooftop of the car fills the silence. It doesn’t take long to reach the place by car, despite the usual heavy traffic during lunch hour, it only takes about 10 minutes. Again, Yoongi steps out first, holding the umbrella as he rounds the car and opens the door for Jimin. 

The younger can’t help but notice the distance between them. He knows Yoongi is only doing it so Jimin feels comfortable and safe from him. It upsets Jimin but the alpha only smiles at him, urging him to go first as he follows behind.

Once they get under the extended roof, Yoongi closes the umbrella and shakes it off to rid the water. Jimin offers a foldable shopping bag he always stores in his bag so Yoongi could put that inside and wouldn’t have to worry about wetting the floor. Yoongi murmurs his thanks as he accepts the bag and shoves the folded umbrella inside.

Jimin realizes then there’s water dripping from Yoongi’s hair too. Unconsciously, he raises his hand and gives a gentle brush on the wet hair strands falling off Yoongi’s forehead. He heard the alpha’s gasp and Jimin’s eyes flickered down so their eyes met. 

People pass by them in a fast-forward motion. They however remain rooted and eyes fixed on each other as if time has stopped for them. The Earth feels empty and quiet, but Jimin’s heart is loud and alive. Suddenly his mind travels back to the past. 

It was raining that day too and Jimin thought he was running from someone. He doesn’t find any traces of fear from his younger’s face. Jimin was happy. He was laughing. Behind him was a younger Yoongi. The alpha was holding out his school’s briefcase, trying to shield Jimin from the rain as they ran towards a shelter. Jimin’s giggle lingered even after they reached a convenient store. “See! I was fast, I didn’t get much rain on me” Oblivious to what Yoongi had done, he teased the elder. “You are wet, hyung” Jimin was giggling again, hand reaching out to brush Yoongi’s damp hair. The sound of Jimin’s giggle filled Yoongi’s heart, bringing the kind of warmth the sun lacks.

“You are wet, hyung” Jimin repeats what he told Yoongi in his memory of their past. Looking away from the alpha’s intense gaze, he rummages through his backpack until he finds what he is looking for and holds out a handkerchief. “Here”

Yoongi didn’t take the handkerchief immediately, eyes still bore on the younger; as if searching for something, anything to explain the heavy thuds of his heart. He delves deeper into Jimin’s eyes where all the secret lies. It was futile. Jimin has built barriers around him to protect him. He can’t crack it open lest Jimin lets him. 

“Hyung?”

Blinking away his thoughts, he only now notices how uncomfortable Jimin is from his stare. “S-sorry a-and thank you” He grips the handkerchief firmly to his chest. Yoongi still sees this as a progress. Before, Jimin couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Now, Jimin is standing so so close to him, almost as close as they used to be. He will eventually get there. Yoongi trusts the younger. It won’t be Yoongi who cracks the door open but Jimin himself. He brings the handkerchief to his face and pats ever so gently, wiping the droplets of water trickling down from his damp hair. “Thank you, Jimin-ie”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

It is August now, time really passes by so quickly without Jimin realizing. In his hand is a 6 weeks 3 days sonogram of his pup . Only a small white circle called the yolk sac can be seen, yet it still brings tears to his eyes everytime he looks at the photo. He remembers the day he took his first ultrasound. Taehyung had accompanied him to the maternal clinic. It was the first time he saw his pup and the first time he heard a heartbeat. He had burst into tears, cheeks wet and snots coming out from his nose. Taehyung tried to comfort him but the beta too couldn’t help the tears spilling from his eyes.

Smiling softly, he swipes his thumb over the sonogram before pressing it to his lips. Lingering for a while, eyes closed as he whispers, “I love you, little one”. He lowers the sonogram, taking another long look before putting it back inside a photo album. A big ‘My little one’ is written on the cover.

He gets up, bringing the photo album with him to the bookshelf which stands just an arm length from where he sits. Jimin enjoys reading during his free time. Most of the books here are gifts from Namjoon. The beta tends to drop by, with a stack of books in his arms, filling the empty shelf until he has no more room for books. Which is why, today he was supposed to clean to make room for a built-in bookshelf Yoongi promised to make him. He might need to throw away the cupboard by the bookshelf or move it elsewhere.

When he complained to Namjoon in their GC that he had no more spaces left for more books, he wasn’t expecting Yoongi to pipe in into their conversation and casually throw his idea of building a bookshelf for him. He had panicked—typing, deleting, typing, deleting “No, hyung. Please don’t. It’s okay!! >.<”. But Yoongi continued to go on with his idea of adding a rolling ladder so it would be easier for Jimin to reach the top of the bookshelf. Yoongi seemed so excited Jimin didn’t have the heart to stop him.

Leaning on the bookshelf, he inhales deeply to calm his racing heart. Once he deems the music he put on is louder than his heartbeats, he puts the photo album back to where it originally placed. He is not sure whether to put away everything in the bookshelf or let it stay this way and waits for Yoongi to do the “work”. Before this, Jimin has no idea the alpha can do carpentry work. 3 years is surely a long time. 

He misses a lot of things.

Maybe, Jimin could use this opportunity to find the missing pieces he had lost in those 3 years he was hiding.

The sound of the doorbell cuts his thought short. Startled, he backs away from the bookshelf and heads to the door. He clicks the intercom and sees Yoongi standing by the door with his tools. He was so engrossed flipping through the photo albums he didn’t realize the time. He was planning to at least move the small tables so Yoongi can use the extra space to do his work comfortably but he couldn’t even do that. He feels disappointed in himself.

A shy call of his name brings Jimin back to reality again. He clumsily turns off the intercom and pulls the door open, startling the person behind it.

“Oh sh—” Yoongi clamps his mouth shut before a curse could slip from his mouth. His ears reddened, embarrassed by what just happened.

Jimin stares wide. Gentle breeze brushes past them. And suddenly, the clouds part away to unveil the blinding Sun as Jimin bursts into giggles, his eyes turn into crescents.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jimin brews tea while Yoongi starts assembling the wood planks for the bookcase. Before he left the alpha in the living room, Yoongi told him his plans to make an exact replica of the old bookshelf. It is a simple bookshelf— one rectangle case from top to bottom. Yesterday, Yoongi had come to measure the size. The top of the bookshelf touches the ceiling but it is not as wide as Yoongi had expected. It is still a good size though since the space is pretty limited. Jimin’s house is small but cozy and homey. Yoongi likes Jimin’s house. It smells like Jimin.

Placing the hot teapot and matching mugs on the tray, he carries it to the longue area and sets the tray on the coffee table. He stands awkwardly behind Yoongi, watching the alpha quietly drilling nails onto a plywood to weld the plywoods together to make one big rectangle case. In awe, he draws closer, moving to the front so he can have a good view of Yoongi’s hands. No— that wasn’t it. I’m definitely not looking at his hands. Jimin blushes, and is glad Yoongi is too fixated to notice his inner conflict. Focus!—Oh, He managed to gasp out loud as he stumbled forward. 

Time feels like it slows down for him— he sees Yoongi’s mouth moving but he hears nothing. Jimin shuts his eyes and crosses his arms over his small bump, bracing himself for the crash about to come. He never greets the floor. It happened for a split second because one moment he was falling forward, the next second he was pushed and twisted around so he would never feel the impact at all, but the person underneath him. Jimin slowly opens his eyes but sees nothing. Trembling, he lifts his head and lets out quivering gasps. He can hear Yoongi’s gentle voice calling for him but his mind can’t register any words coming from the alpha. 

They lay unmoving. Yoongi tries not to freak out. He can smell Jimin so strongly and it smells so so wrong. Jimin is frightened. Of him? He is not sure. “Ji-jimin? Jimin, can you hear me?” The younger doesn’t respond. It seems like Jimin is in shock. “Jimin-ie, listen to my voice, okay?” Yoongi tries to bring Jimin back to Earth, to him. “Please, listen to me. You are okay. I’m here”

“H-hyung—” Jimin gasps out loud. His hands trembled where he had gripped Yoongi’s shirt before they fell. “Hyung—I...” Tears rolled from his eyes, making everything blurred. “My—”

“Can I?” Yoongi asks, hesitant— his hands hover above Jimin. 

“P-please” He doesn’t even know what he asked for but he lets Yoongi manhandle him to a sitting position. Jimin curls to himself, trying to feel his pup. He knows it is still too early to feel his pup, but in his panic, he thought the worse might happen. “My... baby”

“Breathe, Jimin-ie. Breathe for me, okay?”

“I—I can’t... hurt....” Jimin tried to do as told, he really tried. “hurts...” his voice fades as he slowly loses consciousness.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

When Jimin woke up, he was no longer in the living room. He draws in the comfort  from his familiar white dresser, his family frame on the wall and the dreamcatcher Taehyung bought for him hanging on his door. 

He is okay. He is in his safe place.

Turning his head to look out the window, he realizes the sun had set. He probably passed out for hours. As if on cue, he suddenly remembers why he had fainted in the first place. He was about to sit up when something or someone restrained him. He falls back on the bed. Grunting, he raises his head and is greeted by a mop of hair resting on his chest who seems to be sleeping. 

“Tae-taehyung?” A beta scent might be too delicate to be able to smell but Jimin has known Taehyung for 4 years, he can pick up the perfume Taehyung uses to make his scent more noticeable. His best friend just loves to stand out amongst the betas and he loves him for it. “Taetae” Jimin calls which sounds close to a whine as his sleep drowsiness has faded and all he wants is comfort from his best friend.

Hearing Jimin’s voice had Taehyung shot up from the bed. “Jimin!” He inspects his best friend, eyes widened in alarm. “Chim, you’re worrying me” Immediately, he gathers his friend in his arms, sniffling. “Yoongi hyung called and I went here as fast as I could. He said you fell because of his mess but he caught you before you landed on the floor. He—”

“Tae—”

“Yoongi hyung sounded so scared on the phone. I was with Jin hyung at the moment. Jin hyung had to calm Yoongi hyung so he could tell us what happened. I think he feels so guilty and is now punishing himself for almost hurting you so he—”

“Tae!” Jimin clamps Taehyung’s mouth so his friend would stop talking. Even so, Taehyung continued talking, his words muffled by his hand. “Is hyung... Is hyung, okay?”

Taehyung sniffs and grabs Jimin’s hand off his mouth. “He is okay, he only had a little scratch on his arm. Are you okay?” He turns to look at his friend, worries evident on his face. 

Jimin didn’t answer, his hand was rubbing his small bump.

“The baby is okay, Jimin-ie” Taehyung reassures. “The doctor had come earlier to check on you. She said you only need to rest and make sure to drink plenty” He tells Jimin, his arms tightened around Jimin’s body. “Are you okay?” Taehyung asks again.

Jimin nods against Taehyung’s chest. “I’m okay. But Yoongi hyung... what do you mean?”

“Hmm?”

“You said he is punishing himself. What do you mean?”

Taehyung sighs, shifting a little so he could look at the door. “Yoongi hyung has been... working on the bookshelf for hours now. Jin hyung told him to rest but he is not listening to any of us”

“But it wasn’t his fault!” Jimin argues, wriggling out of Taehyung’s hold but the latter only holds him tighter. “Tae! Let me— go...”

“Let him be, Jimin-ah” His voice is so soft Jimin almost didn’t catch it.

“I can’t just let him like that. I need to—”

“He is okay. Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung are here too. They are helping him build the bookshelf. They will be done anytime soon. You don’t have to—”

“I have to let him know!” His voice sounds desperate. “He has to know” Why can’t Taehyung understand?

“Tell him later” The beta ignores the glare he received from his friend. “For now, just stay here and let him finish it”

“But—”

“It will make him feel better, okay? He wants to finish it for you” It is hard for Taehyung too to see Yoongi hurting but if it is his friend’s wish, he would gladly accept Yoongi’s way of dealing the guilt. “Would you let him?”

Jimin’s shoulders slump, finally giving in. “It wasn’t his fault but mine” 

“It was not your fault too, dummy”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

After coaxing Jimin to lay back on the bed, Taehyung left the room to get Jimin something to drink. He sighs when he sees his hyungs are still working on the bookshelf. Seokjin noticed him first, lifting his eyebrow in question. Without words spoken between them, Taehyung nods. Instantly, Seokjin gets up and heads to the kitchen to brew medicine for their pregnant friend while Taehyung settles between the other two betas. He grabs the sandpaper lying on the floor and starts rubbing the surface of the bookshelf before they could apply a layer of polyurethane to make it glossy and smooth.

The Chinese takeouts Jin ordered arrived shortly after they were done with the bookshelf. They stand quietly behind Yoongi, admiring their work and hoping Jimin would love it when he sees it later. “Chim will love it, hyung” Taehyung told Yoongi, breaking the silence.

“Yeah” Hoseok agrees, patting Yoongi’s shoulder. “You did great, hyung. Everything will be okay”

The alpha nods, a worried smile still playing on his lips. “It will be okay”.

“Come on, let’s eat” Jin calls them, as he sets up the dining table. “Tae, wake up Jiminie for me please.”

Taehyung complies immediately, heading towards Jimin’s bedroom in a hurry. Yoongi watches him until he is no longer within their sight but his gaze lingers still, until Namjoon calls him in a soft, understanding voice. “Hey. It’s okay. Come on” The beta gestures towards the dining table then walks towards it without waiting for Yoongi. The elder follows only after he heard Jimin’s sleepy whine being dragged by Taehyung.

They start eating after the chairs are all filled. “Jimin-ah! We got stir-fried chicken feet for you” Jin announced loudly, pushing the dish towards Jimin. “It is not as good as your mom’s or mine but the thought counts, right?” He sends a wink, making Hoseok snickers. 

“Thank you, hyung” Jimin smiles sleepily at the elder, before he takes one with his chopstick which goes directly to his mouth. He munches slowly— pleased that it is already de-boned and hums appreciatively as he swallows. “It is good”. The eldest laughed his windshield laugh, slamming his hand on the table, “As expected, I picked a good restaurant”. Jimin giggles at his hyung, shoving another one to his mouth. By his side, Yoongi is watching him quietly, food untouched. 

Feeling the alpha’s eyes on him, Jimin picks up his third one with his chopstick and put it inside Yoongi’s bowl. “Eat a lot, Yoongi hyung” A shy smile is playing in his lips, eyes turned crescent, he looks up at Yoongi. “You worked hard today, hyung” The alpha blinks at him, seemingly not believing any words he said, so Jimin adds “I saw the bookshelf. It’s really pretty, hyung. Thank you” Cheeks flushed red, Jimin resumes eating, slurping on jjangjangmyun quietly. Noticing how quiet the table is, Jimin looks up, to see four set of eyes still staring at him. “W-what?” Mouth full of food, he sounds like mumbling but the others understood him the same, quickly looking down to their bowls to resume eating, except Yoongi.

“Yes, hyung?”

Caught off guard, again, Yoongi yelps in his seat. Taehyung, who is sitting across from them, presses his lips to suppress a giggle. “Ah- right...” Yoongi quickly composed himself, shifting in his seat to make himself a little more comfortable. He clears his throat, picking up his chopstick which he drops earlier. “You–you’re welcome” He finally says. “I’m glad you are okay now” His grip around his chopstick tightens, “I’m sorry—”

“It was not your fault” Jimin cuts in, his voice louder and clear. “I was— it was mine”

“N-no”

“—I was looking at your hands, a-and I got distracted! It was my fault, hyung. Please don’t beat yourself into it anymore”

Yoongi sighs, not wanting to argue with the younger. “Okay”.

They resume eating, for Yoongi and Jimin at least, because the others have almost empty their bowl. Yoongi chews his food slowly, still trying to process what Jimin said. “You were...” He starts, chopstick fiddling with the noodles. “Looking at my hands?”

Jimin chokes on his food. 

Freaking out, Yoongi hurriedly hands the omega a glass of water (his water) which Jimin quickly accepts. Yoongi glares at the others who have the nerves to laugh when Jimin is clearly in pain. Their laughter continues further to the night, filling the hollow inside Jimin’s chest with joy and contentment. Jimin giggles with them, eyes avoiding the alpha, afraid of what he would see.

Jimin didn’t deny it after all.

Chapter Text

Seoul is starting to burst in colors and festivals now that Autumn is finally greeting them. It is Jimin’s favorite season, when the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping happily, the bees are hunting for honey and sweet flowery scents flooding his nostrils. Jimin sighs happily, drawing his comforter around him as he looks outside of his open window. He feels like going outside, going to the park and just walk without any purpose. Maybe, he will find puppies at the park he can play with. But Park Jimin, even after 3 years, is still afraid to step outside on his own; afraid of suddenly bumping into Alphas, afraid of his past coming haunting him.

Another sigh escapes his lips, a sad one this time. Sometimes, a thought crosses his mind; will he ever move on from his memory of the past, his wound and his pain? The wise Taehyung once told him that his past is a part of him, “You can try to run away from your past but it will only chase after you and bind you to the ground, hurting you and the people around you. But get this, Chim. Your past is yours, it can only hurt you if you let it. So, use this to your benefit. These wounds of the past are what made the you today, strong and beautiful”. 

Taehyung is right. 

Jimin should not feed his own fear but use it to make him stronger. Tomorrow, Jimin told himself. When the sky alights, the stars will give him the courage he needed and guide him to his victory. That night, he finds he couldn’t sleep. His head is loud with voices screaming at him not to go , his stomach is swimming with butterflies of doubts and fears. He told his friends of his stupid idea to walk at the park and joked with them that he hoped he won’t get kidnapped by puppies just to ease his mind that he is making the right choice. His friends actually encouraged him— the thought of making fun of him never crossed their minds, instead they told him to be careful and enjoy his walk.

He loves his friends so fucking much.

Jimin shifts on his bed— phone tossed aside, eyes drifting towards the window. The curtains are open, letting the streetlights outside brighten his dimly lit room. He can’t see the night sky from his bed, but buildings and skyscrapers. The sight makes him huff, no stars to give him the courage, he turns around then, so his back is facing the window.

On his night table, lays a thick red knitted scarf. The weather has been getting cold recently. He never goes outside without a scarf around his neck. Jimin likes this particular scarf, it is an old one, a little worn out from how much he used it over the years. He refuses to throw it away even after he bought new and pretty ones. The red scarf holds so many precious memories. It was originally Yoongi’s. 

Yoongi’s mother sewed the scarf with her own hands for Yoongi’s eleventh birthday. But the alpha gave it to him when he was around twelve years old. 

It was cold and Jimin was on the roof of his house, waiting for Yoongi who promised to accompany him. They were not supposed to be outside in the wee hours of the night, lest they wanted to catch a cold. But Jimin was adamant to see the stars, said he couldn’t sleep. “ You’re such a baby” Yoongi had teased him on the text which Jimin only replied with a tongue emoji. 

Yoongi appeared not long after their last text, with a thick red scarf wrapped messily around the alpha’s neck. The sight made Jimin giggled, “You were asleep?”. The elder huffed at that, removing his scarf and mindlessly wrapped it around Jimin’s. “It is the middle of the night. We were supposed to be asleep, baby ”. Jimin knew Yoongi was just teasing, but the pet name still made his cheeks heated up. Fortunately, the thick scarf covered half of his face from how Yoongi had carelessly put it on him. “Thank you” Jimin whispered to the cold air night as they laid on the roof. “For the scarf, I mean”.

Yoongi stayed quiet, eyes unblinking as he watched the sky. There were no stars in Seoul. He turned his head to look at Jimin. The younger had his eyes closed. 

Maybe, there was one.

“Can’t have a sick baby under my watch”

Jimin shoved Yoongi’s shoulder with a huff. “Am not a baby”

When Jimin returned the scarf to Yoongi the next day, the alpha only shrugged it off. “Keep it” 

And Jimin keeps it close to him for over 12 years. No matter what seasons, he finds himself yearning to draw comfort and safety from the scarf alone. Just like now, he clutches onto the scarf, nuzzling his nose on the thick fabric. It has been a long since Yoongi’s scent can be smelled but it still gives the familiar comfort, as it holds so many memories of them together. Yoongi is always his safety. How stupid he was to avoid Yoongi for so long.

Jimin curls up into a ball, the scarf safely tucked against his chest. He misses his dear best friend so much. He misses going to the rooftop and cuddles with Yoongi as they watch the star-less night sky. He misses walking beside Yoongi, shoulders bumping, as he talks non-stop until they reach their own classes. He misses stopping by at the convenient store after school to hangout with Yoongi and eat ramyeon by the window. He misses what they used to have .

Namjoon once told him back when he was still struggling to live, in his gentlest voice, “Take it slow, Jimin-ah. It is okay to pause when it gets too overwhelming and only when you feel right, you take another step forward”. That’s what he had been doing these past few years and maybe, it is time to take that next step .

Determined, he grabs his smartphone and the next thing he knows he’s dialing  familiar numbers he had remembered by heart. Heart beating loudly against his chest, Jimin waits nervously for the other person to pick up.

“ Ji-jimin? ”

Jimin sits up straight— gripping his phone tightly against his ear while his other hand is still holding the scarf. “Hi—” He starts in a tiny shy voice.

“Hi” Yoongi replies. “Why are you still up?”

Jimin shrugs, although Yoongi couldn’t see him. “Can’t sleep” He tries to make himself comfortable— stacking pillows by the headboard so he could lean on them.

“Nervous about tomorrow?”

Jimin hums, playing with the strands peeking out of the worn out scarf. “Do you think it is a bad idea, going outside on my own?”

“No” Yoongi replies quickly. “I think you are very brave, Jimin-ah. It takes a lot courage to confront your fear”

A blush adorns his cheeks but he tries to stay cool. “It was just a thought. Maybe tomorrow I’d realize I’m still scared and chicken away”

“That’s okay. We will still be with you even if you decide tomorrow is not yet the day”

“Okay”

They fall into silence for a whole minute. Jimin fidgets in his seat, thinking of what to say next but his mouth is faster than his brain and he blurts out, “I have your scarf”

“Oh. It must have worn out so badly?”

“No, not really. It is still intact? I still wore it at times” Jimin confesses shyly. “I want to wear it tomorrow”

“I can buy you a new one”

“It is not the same!” he shuts his mouth quickly, heats rising on his face. “I mean, it holds so much memories.. of us. It could never be replaced, hyung” It is quiet on the other line, for a moment Jimin thinks he shouldn’t have said it.

“I’m so hard to replace, am I?” Yoongi jokes.

Jimin giggles, relieved the elder only brushed it with a joke.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Ever since the day he stepped foot on the park filled with people by himself, he tried to keep a routine to walk around the neighborhood, familiarizing himself with the crowd without having a full blown panic attack.

Today, he heads to the park with purpose. His pup seems to crave for something sweet and cold. Despite the weather being cold, ice cream is still a popular snack no matter what season.

He walks slowly, careful not to bump shoulders in the crowd. Even though the day is still early, today is the weekend and the park is crowded as families bring their kids for family time. Jimin can see himself bringing his own pup here and playing with the swing.

Oh.

He stops his track. Just not far from him, he sees a familiar back queueing outside an ice cream truck.  What a coincidence, he thinks.

There is someone else with him. Jimin remembers the guy. Hesitantly, he approaches them and clears his throat a little loudly once he reaches them. The two guys turn around, one has his eyes widen with shock while the other guy looks surprised and excited.

"It is you, Jimin-shi" The taller guy waves at him. "Oh, you are big!"

"Kooks" The other alpha hisses in warning. He glances back at Jimin and smiles apologetically.

Jimin giggles, "It is okay, Yoongi hyung. He is right, I'm quite big now" he eyes at his protruding belly, caressing it fondly.

"Sorry, Jungkook can be quite bold and speak whatever is in his mind without thinking," Yoongi sighs.

"No, no~ He is adorable" 

Jungkook beams at the compliment. "Are you here for ice cream too, Jimin-shi?"

The omega nods, a gentle smile on his face. "Just call me, hyung". He doesn't know why, but he likes Jungkook. It has been awhile since he feels comfortable around another alpha. 

If it is even possible, Jungkook's lips stretch wider. "Okay, hyung!"

Yoongi watches their little exchange with unspeakable fondness. He is relieved that, instead of shying away or avoiding them, Jimin actually approaches them first. "Vanilla ice cream?" He suddenly cuts into their conversation.

"Hmm?" Jimin tilts his head in question.

"I mean, you still like vanilla ice cream, right?" He scratches the back of his head, red blush adorning his cheeks. "I will get it for you" Without waiting for a reply, he turns back to the stand where the queue has dispersed.

Jungkook chuckles quietly. "Yoongi hyung is adorable too, right?"

"Oh? Yeah, I guess" his heart races under his ribcage, head turning the other way so Jungkook can't see his face right now. What is he trying to hide, he isn't sure himself.

Once Yoongi passes their ice creams, they stroll along the pathway and find a bench so they can take a seat. 

Jimin quietly bites his vanilla ice cream and looks around, taking the view in. The weather is nice for a time like this, just lounging in the park and getting some fresh air. He fixes the red scarf around his neck, so the ice cream won’t drip onto his favorite scarf.

Oh, he is wearing Yoongi’s scarf. He wonders if the elder recognizes it.

"Ah!" Jungkook’s shout suddenly interjects Jimin’s thoughts. "I'm gonna play with the swings"

Yoongi shakes his head, "don't go too far, pup"

"Not a pup" the younger alpha sticks out his tongue playfully and heads towards the swings.

Now that it is only the two of them left on the bench, they fall into silence. Jimin tries not to look awkward as he pretends to watch Jungkook pushing a kid on the swing. 

"How is your pup treating you?" Yoongi suddenly breaks the silence. He looks anywhere but Jimin. 

Startled at the unexpected question, he stares at the alpha for a whole minute before he looks down, his free hand absentmindedly caressing his belly. "It is alright" he says finally. "I haven't felt the kick yet. Doctor said, might be soon. And I… I can't wait to feel my pup" his lips curve into a smile as he thinks of his pup. 

"When… when the pup kicks…" Yoongi pauses, suddenly feeling nervous. "Would you let me know?" There's uncertainty laced in his voice.

The omega sucks in his breath. Mouth gaping at the elder. "Oh" he gulps, feeling lumps in his throat. "Yes. I will, of course. I will" he rambles.

Yoongi eyes the younger, seeking the truth in his words.

Jimin takes another deep breath and looks up at Yoongi more confidently. "I will let you know, hyung" 

They stare at each other for so long until Yoongi shoots him a relieved smile. "Thank you".

Jimin smiles back and nods at him, ice cream left untouched -  it melts and stains his jeans. Even then, it feels like everything will be okay.

"Why are you two staring at each other's eyes like you are in love?"

Jungkook's voice suddenly blooms over them, interrupting whatever moment they had just now.

"Did I miss something while I was playing with the swing? I was only gone for 10 minutes!" Jungkook cries out, for missing something important in front of his eyes. 

The two doesn't say anything, cheeks reddening as they look away from each other.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

“What are you thinking about?” Taehyung pours the steaming liquid into his mug and blows the steam before he takes a sip. A sigh of pleasure escaped his lips. It is such a good day, drinking hot cocoa with blanket drapes around his shoulder as he listens to the sound of firewoods crackling. He feels like the main character of a novel he has read before.

When Jimin doesn’t answer, the beta places his mug on top of the coffee table before he turns his gaze towards his best friend who is sitting across from him. "Earth, Jimin"

"Uh?" The elder startled face makes Taehyung chuckles. "Did you finish your tea?"

"Ya, what's wrong with you?" Taehyung pouts childishly. "What makes you so distracted lately?"

"What?" Jimin seems genuinely confused.

"I wasn't drinking tea. See?" He showed the elder his mug. 

"Sorry, Taehyung-ie" 

"If you tell me what's going on, I will forgive you" he threatens. There's a glint of mischief in his eyes that tells Jimin he isn't serious about the threat at all.

"I don't know" Jimin answers truthfully. "I'm feeling… confused. I…" He pauses, deep in thought. "I wish I could tell you but…" 

Taehyung nods, "It's okay, Jimin-ah. Once you figure out, you will know what to do" he reassures his best friend and shoots him a smile.

Jimin only blinks at him. Why does it seem his best friend knows something that he doesn't? He doesn't question Taehyung or prod him for more. This is a puzzle for him to solve and only he knows the answer.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Jimin was about 25 weeks pregnant when it happened. 

“Hyung” his breath labor as he speaks over the phone. 

“Jimin-ah” The voice from the other line speaks to him. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Jimin only answers with “I promised you", because he is still trying to comprehend what just happened.

“What? You are not making any sense, Jimin-ah. Tell me, are you hurting?”

“I’m fine” Jimin cuts him before Yoongi can ramble some more. He needs Yoongi to know he is more than okay. “I’m not hurt, I promise”

“Are you sure? You didn't sound okay earlier” Yoongi sighs in relief, but still worries. “What happened?” 

“I promise I will tell you when it happens” He starts slowly. His heart has calmed down but the excitement is still coursing through every part of his body. “I felt the kick, hyung”.

Jimin’s words didn’t fully register in Yoongi’s head until it felt like an hour had passed by. Oh. OH. “W-what?”

Jimin giggles, his hand clutches tightly around his phone.  “Do I need to repeat it twice?” He jokes.

“Do you feel it now?”

The younger pouts, his free hand caressing his bump. “Not at the moment. It happened so fast, I thought nothing of it first until I felt the fluttery sensation again? I don’t know how to explain it” he laughs shyly.

“Okay” Yoongi says, his voice calm. “Will you tell me again… if it happens?”

Jimin doesn’t know when his eyes get watery or why he is feeling emotional. It must be the hormone thingy. “Okay” He sniffs as he wipes the tear rolling on his cheek. “Okay”

And just like that, a promise is made between them. Whenever Jimin feels the kick, however light it is, he would quickly call Yoongi, whether he is at work or at home. And Yoongi always answers, no matter how busy the producer is.

There are times when the kicks are stronger and a little painful that he needs to sit down and take a long deep breath. When he is on the phone with Yoongi during those times, the elder would help him relax as his voice alone is soothing to the pregnant omega.

“I swear the kicking is always stronger when my pup hears your voice, hyung” Jimin jokes as he laughs over the phone. 

Yoongi doesn't laugh along and the line goes quiet.

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Jimin asks worriedly. He wonders if he had said something that upset the alpha.

"Can I come over?"

"Huh?" The pup stops kicking. 

"Huh?" Yoongi clears his throat. He doesn't know what has come over him a moment ago. "Sorry, it is late. You should be sleeping" 

"You can come over" 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

“Your house smells like Yoongi hyung” Taehyung’s nose wrinkles, closing the door as he let himself in and joins Jimin on the couch.

The elder is watching a Netflix show, a bowl of popcorn on his belly. “He just left,” Jimin shrugs, seeming unbothered by Taehyung's questioning look. 

When did his house start to smell like alpha?

“You smell like you are mated”

“I did not!” The pregnant omega shrieks, horrified. He throws a fistful of popcorn to his best friend. "You need to think before you speak, Tae-ah"

“I was just joking. '' Taehyung sticks out his tongue playfully, only laughing when Jimin sent him a glare. “But really, I visited you more than he did but I never left off my scent around”

“That’s because you are a beta”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t have a scent. It’s just you can’t smell it but I can smell both of you and let me tell you, I can smell Yoongi hyung everywhere in the house”

Jimin huffs, arms crossed against his chest, popcorn forgotten. When Taehyung only stares at him, eyes filled with unshed tears and lips jut out, Jimin can only sigh. He knows his best friend too well, Taehyung wouldn’t back down easily.

“Fine” Jimin leans back onto the couch, making himself comfortable, hands caressing his baby bump. “He gave me stuff, like his hoodie, for my nest” He explains, catching Taehyung’s fixed stare directed towards him. 

The beta makes an affirmative noise, telling him he is listening.

“It comforts me. His scent, he makes me feel safe and he-” Jimin gulps, cheeks heated up. “When the baby is kicking, he comforts us with his soothing pheromone” His lips curves into a small smile at the thought. “And the little one would instantly calm down”.

“The scents…” Taehyung holds Jimin’s gaze, returning his smile. “There are like protective barriers. It’s all around the house and all over you”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Yoongi visits him again early in the evening, claiming Jimin had promised to make him chamomile tea Jimin’s mother sent him a week ago.

“It’s good, right?” 

Yoongi hums as he sips his drink, finishing it quickly with a satisfying sigh. “It was the best tea I ever had in awhile”

The conversation with Taehyung earlier suddenly pops up into Jimin’s head. It makes his heart race and he can't keep his eyes away from Yoongi. 

“Jimin? You okay?”

The omega snaps from his thought, looking up at Yoongi who is hovering above him. “Y-yeah, sorry. I was- I’m glad you like the tea” Jimin babbles nervously, heart racing miles a minute.

“You sure?”

Jimin nods, averting his eyes from Yoongi and instead, shifting the attention towards his baby bump.

“Is the little one kicking?”

Jimin dares to look up and meet with Yoongi’s curious eyes. “Yeah” His answer came a little later. After thinking thoroughly, he decides he can offer something that he knows Yoongi has been wanting to do for a long time. “Do you- do you want to touch it?” He nods towards his baby bump.

“Oh” There are sparkles in Yoongi's eyes which are never there before. He nods quickly and takes a seat beside Jimin, careful but eager.

“Here” Jimin leads Yoongi’s hand to rest against his clothed belly. 

As soon as Yoongi’s palm makes contact with Jimin’s belly, his alpha reacts immediately. His pupils dilates and his hand trembles as electricity courses through his veins. Without warning, a growl escapes from his mouth.

The pregnant omega goes alarmed, eyes widened in shock. His primal instinct is triggered, forcing him to cower away and shield his swollen belly with his arms.

Yoongi immediately backs away, seeing red as he takes sight of the frightened omega. He feels horrible and the other could sense it right away.

Jimin peers at Yoongi who has kept a safe distance between them and his heart clenches. Yoongi looks as affected as him. It shows that Yoongi never meant any harm to him and his baby.

“Hyung” Jimin calls, his voice is small and careful.

Yoongi blinks, confused and shocked written all over his face. He stares at his own hands, seeing how they shook violently.

“Can you-... your scent,, please”

“W-what?” Yoongi snaps his head to look at Jimin, trying to process Jimin’s words. “Oh, I- Okay”, He clenches his fists as he breathes in and out until he feels himself calming down. His soothing pheromone slowly releases once he did.

Jimin sighs, resting his head on the couch, hand caressing his bump in a comforting manner. The little one has been kicking continuously the moment Yoongi touched his belly. The alpha’s scent calms the pup.

The kicks aren't always painful but this time, as if his baby could sense his tension, the kicking was a little unpleasant to bear. 

Despite what had happened Jimin knew he couldn’t blame Yoongi. It did bring some horrible memories but he reminds himself that Yoongi was not Kihyun. 

Jimin inhales deeply, letting the alpha’s pheromone seep into his nostrils and spread into every cell in his body. The kicking slowly lessens until it ceases completely. He breathes out and smiles appreciatively at Yoongi.

It eases the tension in Yoongi’s body and he returns the smile, mouthing a silent thank you following after.

Jimin pats the space beside him, assuring the alpha with a gentle nod that Jimin isn't afraid of him. 

Instead of complying, Yoongi sits on the opposite couch. He thinks it is safer that way. His inner alpha was screaming at him, to make Jimin submit and bare his neck so he could scent the omega but he pushes it to the back of his head. 

“You look… trouble. Are you okay?” 

Yoongi feels guilty at the genuine concern from the younger when he should be the one who is worrying. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was wrong with me” He tries to explain but he doesn't understand what triggered his behavior either.

Jimin hums, his fingers playing with the hem of his sweater. “You-... you looked different”

“Did I scare you?”

“Yeah” Jimin answers honestly. “But I’m not scared of you, hyung”. It was something he had repeatedly told Yoongi for the past few months.

Jimin wasn’t scared of Yoongi. He was scared of Kihyun. He was scared of getting hurt again.

“Thank you” It is always comforting to be reminded that Jimin is never actually afraid of him.

They fall into a comfortable silence, taking their time to think of the earlier event. “Jimin” Yoongi starts, breaking the silence. “I think… what happened earlier…” He pauses, thinking of the right words to say.

“Yeah?” 

Yoongi shakes his head but Jimin encourages him to continue. “Did I- did I ever mention myself taking part as a sperm donor?”

Jimin cocks his head. That was something he didn’t expect coming from Yoongi. “I don’t think you did. You are a sperm donor?”

“Yeah” He shrugs. The act was rather impulsive, he saw the ads and thought why not? He didn’t think too much about it, as long as it could help any omega in need, he didn’t see any issues about it.

“Oh, okay” Jimin doesn't know what to feel about that. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know, actually but-” He looks down at his hands, frowning. “I felt something when I touched your belly. I felt the baby moving and-”

“What are you trying to say?”

Yoongi’s eyes move from his hands to Jimin and their eyes lock. “I felt the baby. I felt you. Like we are connected. I don’t know how to explain it” 

Jimin exhales the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Did you look at the list of names of your sperm donors?”

Jimin sees no point in finding out who the donors are when he wants nothing to do with them and he makes sure the donors respect his wishes. That is the deal he told his doctor before he signed the agreement. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever needed it so I never ask” 

Yoongi isn't happy with that answer. He needs to know. Why? He isn't sure himself. It is like an instinct, that he should know. “Okay” Yoongi tries to think of something else. “Don’t you have any documents? That could tell their identities?”

“I only kept the contract I signed for the procedure. It didn’t say the name of the sperm donors”

Yoongi looks defeated. He slumps back to the couch, staring at the ceiling with a resigned sigh.

“I have a check up next week” Jimin speaks up suddenly, eyes avoiding Yoongi as he continues. “You can come with me if you want to ask my personal doctor”

Yoongi perks up, looking hopeful. “Can I? Really?”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

A week passes by really quickly and the next thing Yoongi knows he is standing behind the front door of Jimin’s apartment. His hands clammy as he rubs them against each other. 

He doesn't knock on the door yet, opting to just wait until his watch shows 8:00 am, their agreed time to meet. His foot taps impatiently on the floor, glancing at his watch for every 5 seconds.

Yoongi curses silently at himself for showing up so early and makes himself look like a fool. After debating with himself that he would only embarrass himself more if Jimin caught him like this, he decides to ring the bell.

He hears rustling on the other side of the door but no sign of Jimin approaching the door. Great, Jimin isn't even ready yet.

Yoongi turns around and leans his back against the door as he looks up at the ceiling. Ever since the day he found out that he could be something of the pup Jimin is carrying, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Being an alpha, his senses are far more stronger than omegas and betas. They can recognize their own kin through pheromone only. Unborn babies aren't capable of producing pheromones. But alphas can find out if the pups their mates carry are theirs or not simply from touching.

It is one of their ways to make sure their descendants are purely from their own blood and it helps to prevent cheating partners who promise to carry their pups.

Yoongi could be wrong about this but Jimin’s pup could be his. And Yoongi doesn't mind it at all. He has a sheepish smile on his face as he thinks about Jimin and his unborn pup.

The smile quickly vanishes when the door behind him suddenly pulls open, bringing him down as well. Yoongi yelps, waiting for the fall that never came. Instead, he feels arms around his waist. 

Yoongi twists a bit so he can look at who is behind him although he can easily tell from the scent alone. From his position, he can see Jimin’s face pressed to his back. “Uh..” He clears his throat and slowly straightens up, careful not to hurt Jimin’s belly as Jimin begins to untangle his arms from his waist.

Both of their cheeks flush as they separate. Jimin ducks down to hide his rosy cheeks and focuses on calming his rapid heartbeats. "You are early" 

The alpha scratches his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, I was- I couldn't sleep so..." He mumbles, trying to figure out excuses but it all sounded stupid in his head so he keeps quiet.

Jimin giggles, bringing his hand to cover his mouth. Jimin woke up feeling anxious today. But seeing how Yoongi is feeling the same way makes him feel a little better. The meeting with his doctor later could probably turn his life either for the worse or for the better. He is persistent to never let another alpha into his life but would Yoongi change his mind?

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Waiting for his name to be called has never felt as nerve wracking as this before. The presence of the alpha beside him only adds to his nervousness. He never brings an alpha to his check up before. It somehow feels intimate. 

Jimin looks at his surroundings, every pregnant omega in the waiting area always has their alphas accompanying them, providing comfort to the anxious omegas. Jimin only had Taehyung or Jin before. But now he had Yoongi beside him. The thought alone makes him flustered and giddy, drawing a concerned look from the alpha.

“You okay?”

Startled, Jimin hums hurriedly. 

If Yoongi notices the whimper that follows after, he doesn't say anything about it. “Don’t worry too much. We’ll be okay” Yoongi reassures the younger, having no idea that his words can comfort Jimin more than his pheromone could.

Knowing that they would be okay, no matter what the doctor would tell them, makes Jimin feel a lot better. “Yeah, we’ll be okay”

The door to one of the check up rooms creak open before a nurse comes out and holds a clipboard in her hand. “Park Jimin” She calls, nodding towards the door.

“Oh, that’s me” Jimin abruptly stands up, pulling Yoongi along with him. “That’s my name” He told Yoongi, eyes wide.

“Yeah” Yoongi seems nervous too. “O-okay, I’m ready”, he takes Jimin’s hand without even realizing it and leads them towards room no.4.

The doctor Jimin had personally requested for the past months greets him as they walk inside. He raises an eyebrow when his gaze meets Yoongi’s but doesn't question his presence here as he welcomes them with a warm smile.

The nurse earlier instructs Jimin to lay on the bed next to the window, opposite to the doctor’s desk. While Yoongi stands a little clueless by the bed, waiting for instruction or anything from the nurse or doctor. 

“I’m guessing” The doctor starts, briefly looking over Yoongi before shifting his attention towards the pregnant omega “That you want to see the baby first?”

Yoongi perks up at that, squeezing Jimin’s hand which he realizes he hasn't let go and has no intention of doing so. “Yes, Can I?” The giddiness in his voice can't be missed and it brings an unexplainable joy to Jimin’s heart.

The doctor nods, bringing the clipboard with a medical record form with him as he settles on the stool by the bed while the nurse wheels the tray filled with all the equipment needed for sonogram.

Jimin lifts his sweater without being told, exposing his swollen belly. He ignores the heat crawling to his skin and instead focuses on answering basic questions thrown by the doctor, mostly about the kickings, his morning sickness, appetites and such.

Yoongi only listens and watches in awe as the doc proceeds to smear the jelly before he picks up the ultrasound transducer and slowly glides it around the protruding belly. It doesn't take long before a black and white image appears on the monitor screen. 

The alpha gasps, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth. As if he is in a daze, he draws closer to the monitor. His eyes flickers all over the screen, engraving every part of the baby's physical features in his mind.

It is endearing to watch and Jimin doesn't have the heart to interrupt their ‘bonding session’ that feels a little too private for him. Even as the bed dips from the weight of Yoongi’s knees as the alpha kneels at the edge of the bed to get a closer look on the monitor.

Jimin tries not to giggle when Yoongi almost pushes him to the wall.

“Oh, sorry.. I didn’t-...” The alpha retreats back to where he had stood earlier and scratches his head sheepishly. “the pup is-... he is just-...” Yoongi averts his eyes, looking everywhere but Jimin, “Your pup is sucking its thumb”.

Jimin turns to the monitor. Immediately, the younger’s lips curve into a smile. “He always does that, I guess” He shrugs, turning back to face the doctor. “Do you think it will turn into a habit?”

“I hope not” Yoongi suddenly pipes in, earning a questioning look from the younger. “I mean, I tend to bite my thumb whenever I feel nervous and always get scolded from it” He explains, a bit flustered.

“Guess he is following his daddy’s bad habit, huh” Jimin jokes before realizing what he had said. “I mean- if you are…” He stops himself, pressing his lips into a thin line as he curses at himself silently. Avoiding Yoongi’s stare, he busies himself with cleaning his belly with a clean towel handed to him before he stretches the sweater down to cover his stomach and sits up.

The doctor watches, amused at the awkward exchange between these two young adults. “We can proceed to the physical examination now” He speaks up, saving them from the awkwardness.

The examination went very quickly. It was nothing complex, just a basic procedure all the pregnant omega had to go through like taking weight, blood pressure and such to make sure both the omega and the baby were healthy.

“Everything looks okay” The doctor notes down, humming a satisfying tone to himself. “Alright, there’s only a few months left before you go into labor. It’s good to be aware of early signs and symptoms of labor and take some precautions.”

They are sitting opposite of the doctor, separated by a desk, as they listen quietly. Yoongi looks more alert, taking serious notes about everything the doctor told them. While Jimin’s mind is miles away. He thinks of the mysterious donor.

His selfish side wants it to be Yoongi but his other side doesn't want the alpha to feel obliged to carry this sudden responsibility. The contract strictly says the sperm donor agrees to remove his rights of the pup’s custody in any circumstances unless the parent had passed away or they both agree to rear the pup together.

Jimin will never force Yoongi to be a part of this. But he knows, if Yoongi is really the father, the alpha wouldn’t let him bear the responsibility alone, not when they are friends. The thought alone brings tears to his eyes but he quickly blinks it away, nodding to the doctor even though he is only half listening.

“Do you have any other concerns?” The doctor asks once he finished, oblivious to the commotion inside Jimin’s head.

“Actually, yes” Yoongi replies quickly, glancing over at Jimin before he faces the doctor again and begins to summarize the event that happened a week ago. There are so many questions left unanswered and Yoongi doesn't want to assume and hope for something impossible.

The bond he felt could be triggered as a result of his infatuation towards the omega bearing the pup. There is no other possible reason that could explain it, not that he knows much about bonding. “So, we thought if we could find out who the donors were, if one of them was me, it might explain a lot of things”

The doctor hums in affirmative, his hands clasped on his desk as he thinks through what the young alpha had revealed to him. Being an obstetrician, it is not surprising to hear cases like this. There could be multiple reasons why they experienced it and it is always different for each case so he cannot provide an exact answer for the moment. 

But the alpha is right about the sperm donor. If Yoongi is the donor, the answer would be as simple as that. The bond of an alpha father towards their pups is so strong that a touch can easily trigger it.

The doctor doesn't say a word as he picks up the phone on the desk, instructing something they can't quite catch to the receiver.

Yoongi exchanges a curious glance with Jimin and shrugs. When the doctor finally ends the call, he shifts in his seat and looks up to his patient and his companion alpha. “It will be here soon” He hears the doctor said.

Jimin doesn't realize he is fidgeting the whole time until he feels Yoongi’s hand grab his and intertwine their fingers together. He feels himself relaxing but only for a brief moment as the door creaks open.

The nurse from earlier enters with a brown envelope in her hand and she walks hurriedly to the doctor sitting by the desk. “Here’s what you asked for” She speaks in quiet volume as she hands over the envelope before excusing herself.

"Well then" The doctor smiles, holding the envelope gently before presenting it to Yoongi. "I hope it goes well for you two" are the last words they heard before the two young adults exited the room.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

The drive back to Jimin’s house is quiet and slow until thunder hollers above them without warning. They can hear the pitter-patter of rain slowly falling down to the roof of the car.

Yoongi quickly turns on the heater and pushes the stalk by the steering to activate the windshield wipers. He drives calmly through the highway.

The omega however is far from calm. He keeps shifting in his seat, tapping his feet anxiously, flattening the envelope on his thighs but nothing he does can cease his restlessness. So, he huffs and rests his head angrily against the door. 

The elder worries his lips, eyes darting between Jimin and the road. The faint smell of sour peach hits his nostrils. He attempts to comfort the omega with his soothing pheromone but the sour peach still lingers in the air much to his liking.

Yoongi presses the brake pedal when the light turns red. His hands clenches and unclenches around the steering wheel, itching to hold the omega’s hand. He sneaks a glance towards the omega who is oblivious to his inner turmoil. 

His breath hitches in his throat.

Jimin had wrapped himself with a thick knitted scarf that made the younger look so soft and adorable. 

It unconsciously brings a smile to Yoongi’s face. The younger is wearing the scarf he gave him many years ago. It calms the omega and the soothing sound of the rain has perhaps lull Jimin to sleep.

With a lighter heart, Yoongi turns back to the road. The light turns green.

When Yoongi kills the engine, Jimin has stirred from his very short nap. Yoongi takes his key out and frees his seat belt before he grabs his phone from the sealed storage between the gear level and handbrake.

Jimin is slowly waking up, letting out a small yawn. He rubs his eyes and blinks the sleepiness away.

Yoongi can't look away from the driver's seat. Jimin is just breathtakingly beautiful. It feels like time has stopped ticking when Jimin’s eyes finally lock on him and none of them makes a move to look away this time, not until another thunder breaks their gaze.

Startled, Jimin abruptly shies away, eyes looking down to his belly. His cheeks flush in rosy color.

Yoongi coughs, looking everywhere but Jimin. “I will just…” He turns around, avoiding Jimin’s curious eyes on him and stretches out his arm to grab the umbrella from the backseat. “Wait here” He tells Jimin before he climbs out of the car and pulls the umbrella open and runs to Jimin’s side.

“Oh” Jimin’s cheeks heat up despite the chilly autumn wind caressing his cheeks. “Thank you” He manages to say as he steps out of the car, not a single drop of rain falls onto him.

Yoongi only hums, his free arm snaking around Jimin as he pushes the door close with a gentle click. The movement unintentionally pushes Jimin lightly to his chest.

The younger gasps, looking up, Yoongi is staring back at him. He gulps, face flushed further. “We should-” Jimin shyly mumbles, arms tighten around the brown envelope and averts his eyes to the entrance of the building. “Go inside”

“Right” Yoongi chuckles sheepishly. “We should”

Once Yoongi locks the car, he hurriedly leads them inside. His free arm unconsciously draws Jimin closer by the shoulder, so they both could avoid getting wet from the rain.

Jimin hides his smile behind the envelope and thanks the alpha with a small voice once they reach inside. They take the elevator up to his floor.

While Yoongi shakes the umbrella to get rid of the water, Jimin watches the light of the elevator buttons go on and off until it stops on his floor.

They get out without words spoken between them and Jimin rummages through his bag to get the key so he can unlock the door. “You can put your umbrella here,” Jimin tells the alpha, gesturing at the umbrella holder situated next to the door.

Yoongi nods and places the umbrella inside the holder before he removes his shoes and follows Jimin inside.

“So uh” Jimin briefly looks down at the envelope in his hand before holding it out to Yoongi. “Can we- I mean, would you like to take a look at it together?”

“Of course, Jimin-ah”  Yoongi answers without a second thought. “Of course, I would love to,” Tucking the envelope under his arm, he extends his other hand, lingering there for a while before Jimin finally takes his hand.

Their hands fit perfectly together and they both can't deny how nice it feels to have their hand held by each other. It feels right.

Yoongi plops down on the couch, bringing Jimin with him. The envelope lays flatten on his thighs. He rubs his thumb over Jimin’s knuckles as his mind recalled their conversation last week.

Jimin wanted nothing to do with his sperm donors, was what the younger told Yoongi the other day. Jimin didn’t want any alpha in his life anymore. That was why he went through IUI. That was why Jimin got pregnant without an alpha.

Honestly, Yoongi can't be more proud of Jimin. It is never an easy decision to choose that kind of life. Having his life turns upside down from a toxic relationship to slowly building himself a new life on his own, fighting the old mindset that omegas can never stand on their own. 

Yoongi wonders now if there is a small chance Jimin changes his mind, if Jimin would let him be a part of his life, a father of his pup or not. Yoongi knows all along, he wants Jimin. He has been for a long time. He was just too scared to act on it and because of that, he lost Jimin.

He doesn't want to run away again. He is not making the same mistake twice.

“Jimin-ah” Yoongi starts, shifting in his seat so he can face the younger properly. “Before we open this, I need to hear something from you”

Jimin tilts his head. “What is it?”

“What you said last time, that you wanted nothing to do with any of the sperm donors, especially the one that father your pup”

‘Yeah?”

“What about now?” The loud beating of his heart fails to mask the calm in his voice. “Do you still feel the same way?”

“Oh, um…” Jimin stares at his baby bump. The baby is kicking. “I-I’m not sure actually” he wants to backtrack and tell Yoongi that ‘maybe, yes,’ but it never came out. Jimin is just not ready yet.

Jimin is still afraid.

“If I’m the father, would it change your mind?”

Jimin whips his head and stares back at Yoongi with wide eyes.

“No, let me correct that. Whether I’m the father or not, would you let me be a part of your little family?

Jimin’s heart skips a beat.

“Honestly, it doesn't really matter to me who the father of your pup is,” Yoongi confesses. “I would have loved them either way” He smiles then, squeezing Jimin’s hand gently as a sort of assurance. “I would have love you still”

Jimin gasps. His eyes moisten, threatening to fall by the seconds but he holds them in and sucks in a deep breath. “Hyung, I-” He can't form sentences without cracking up. “I didn’t know”

“You couldn’t have known” Yoongi cooes, wiping the tears that managed to fall from the younger’s eyes. “I kept my secret well”

“When did you…”

“I guess it happened quite a long time ago” He chuckles when Jimin’s face morphs into a shocked one. “It just happened one day when we hung out after my basketball practice. Taehyung wasn’t there and you kept whining how hot it was”

Jimin remembers that day. “I was craving for ice cream”

“You are always craving for Ice cream” The elder teases, laughing when Jimin shoves him playfully. The envelope lays forgotten on the floor.

When Jimin has stopped sulking, he turns back to Yoongi. “And?” He wants to know how it happened. How Yoongi fell for him.

“So we walked around the blocks and you whined again” He chuckles at the memory. “You said your feet were hurting. We were only walking for a few blocks but you still complained anyway”

“I’m not an athletic person, I have the worst stamina” He rolls his eyes. 

“You danced back then” 

The room suddenly falls quiet. It brings painful memories to the younger and Yoongi is angry at himself for not doing anything back then.

“Yeah” Jimin says quietly. “I guess I did”

Jimin loves dancing. He didn't just enjoy dancing, he was passionate about it until it was taken away from him, until Kihyun had cornered him in the school’s dance studio, until he could not look at the full mirrors on the wall without seeing Kihyun and the bruises the alpha made on his skin. 

“I’m sorry” Yoongi needs to say it. If only he had looked closer, if only he had heard Jimin’s cries. “I’m sorry”

Jimin shakes his head. “You couldn’t have known, hyung. You weren’t the only one who’s good at keeping secret” He smiles then, brief and sad. 

“I piggybacked you so you could stop complaining” Yoongi continues the story when the silence feels suffocating. He needs to tell the younger. He wants Jimin to know. “I could hear your heartbeats. I could feel your breath fanning my neck. The sky had darkened when we arrived at the ice cream parlor and you screamed into my ears to put you down. Then…”

“Then?”

“I bought you ice cream and you finally shut up” Yoongi finishes with a grin.

The younger purses his lips, frowning. “There was nothing special about that day”

Yoongi shrugs. “Maybe you are right. There was nothing special about you complaining about ice cream and your sore feet but you still made my heart raced that day”

With a faint crimson on his cheeks, Jimin thinks quietly to himself. It doesn't matter what the document might tell them. It doesn’t matter whether Yoongi is the father or not. Because Yoongi loves him.

Ever since that day Jimin had his arms wrapped around Yoongi’s neck, his heart pounding loudly in his chest he was afraid Yoongi could hear or even feel it. Yoongi had fallen in love with him that day. 

That was 7 years ago.

As his gaze falls on the forgotten envelope, he figures it doesn't matter anymore. Not because he doesn't want anything to do with the donors but because he wants things with Yoongi. He wants to give himself a chance to love again. This isn't just for Yoongi but for him and his pup. This is him saving himself. This is him wanting to live for himself and for his future little family.

“To answer your question earlier…” There is a short pause as he averts his eyes from the envelope to Yoongi’s face. “You have unconsciously shifted my view on alpha. Not every alpha is bad, especially not you. You make me feel safe, make me feel worthy to love, make me want to love again. You saved me, hyung” He chokes, feeling tears start to gather in his eyes. “You saved me from him. You and the others. He almost destroyed me but you guys pieced me back together again”

“You are strong, Jimin-ah. The strongest omega I know” Reluctantly, he let go of the hand that has been holding Jimin’s so he can cup Jimin’s face instead and wipe the tears on his cheeks. “You were brave that day. I had never seen someone as brave as you that day”

“I wish I could have punched him,” Jimin giggles between his tears. “But no matter how many punches I could strike, it’d never compensate for the pain he inflicted on me, physically or mentally” Because it brought a scar to Jimin’s heart and scars never healed.

“You’ll be okay, I promise” And he vows to himself to protect Jimin and his baby at all cost.

“I know” Jimin smiles at the elder, sniffling as he speaks. “I know because you are here now. I will be safe. Our pup will be safe”

In the next few days, Yoongi did keep his promise. Because ever since that day, Jimin never feels alone.

Chapter Text

Jimin carries a mug of steaming chamomile tea as heads towards the nest he had built from stacks of pillows and fluffy blankets at the center of his living room. His steps are slow and careful, to avoid spilling the tea on Yoongi’s expensive carpet. Although he is sure the alpha will not be angry with him, he would like not to give himself the misfortune to clean a carpet.

Ever so gently, he places the mug on the small end table. The coffee table that used to be there was moved out of the way so Jimin can watch the tv from his nest. Of course, Jimin did not lift the table himself. Yoongi would not allow him to do any physical work. God, he is spoiled.

There is never a day Jimin feels unloved, Yoongi has made sure of that. Ever since the alpha started to court him about 2 months ago, a few days after the check up , Yoongi has shown him how much worthy of love he is. The alpha is gentle and understanding. His touches are light and careful. And he looks at Jimin with indescribable love. Yoongi doesn’t have to say it, he just knows.

It was different when they were young, Jimin realizes that now. Yoongi doesn’t change, from how he treats Jimin now and then. But he can see it now, he can see Yoongi’s love towards him. And just like how blind he was to see Yoongi, for all he knows, he might just have been in love with the alpha for as long as the alpha has loved him too.

Jimin lays down in his nest, and grabs Yoongi’s hoodie so he can inhale the sweet cinnamon scent that still clings on the fabric. Thinking of the alpha still makes his heart thump wildly in his chest.

How did they end up together? If he told Jimin of 7 years ago, he wouldn't believe it. To him, Yoongi was just his fantasy, a secret crush he had buried deep inside him, because he could never have someone as Yoongi. The alpha is just too good, undeserving of him.

Jimin sighs, sadness creeping into him without warning. Idiot. He told himself. Yoongi has reminded him so many times of how much he deserves happiness and love. Every night, as Yoongi wraps his arms around him, he would always whisper how much the alpha loves him.

Jimin hates it when he is overthinking, hates it when he devalues himself so low. Huffing, he wipes the tears that unconsciously keep coming out. He should only think of the good things. Jimin nods to himself angrily. There are many good things that happened after their courtship. Many happy memories they have shared together. 

Though their relationship progresses slowly, it is a pace that they are both comfortable with. After all, they have come to learn that they aren’t exactly ready for a big thing yet. By a big thing, they mean exchanging vows and slipping rings into each other's fingers. It would be a big change to their life and it is something that they shouldn’t decide in haste. They will know if they are ready. They will just know.

Feeling a little sleepy now, Jimin sips the hot liquid and places it back on the table before he plops down, letting himself be buried under piles of blankets. He turns on the TV, not really watching, just letting the sound of the TV lull him to sleep.

Rolling on his side, careful not to squish his belly, he closes his eyes and sniffs the hoodies again. He misses Yoongi a lot. Lately, the elder has come home late, having to work on a few songs for a group that was scheduled to debut in a few months. Yoongi had worked extra hours to finish the songs as Jimin’s due date is approaching. In fact, today Yoongi is supposed to come home early so they can start packing and preparing for labor but it seems like the alpha is cooped up in the studio again.

Remembering the number shown on the counting day app on his phone, only makes his excitement grows. If it counts right, it will be any day from now until he can finally hold the little one in his arms. He feels a little silly but that silly little thing brings some kind of peace to his mind. And Yoongi thinks it is cute of him. 

Drawing the hoodie closer to his nose, he giggles to the soft fabric, muffling the noise he produced. But a sudden contraction of his uterus suddenly makes him gasp out loud. He clutches the sweater covering his belly. “Oh, little one. Aren’t you excited to come out?” He manages to force a giggle between his few little grunts. His contraction has started again but it is to be expected when he is close to his due.

But something feels wrong.

Using all the strength he can muster, he lifts his upper body and stretches out his free arm to the end table where he had placed his phone beside the mug. Once he manages to grab the phone, he slumps back to his nest. His fingers tremble as he dials Yoongi’s number. It didn’t connect for the first time. He cries out as another contraction hits him and curls himself into a ball. Tears rolling down to his pillow. It can’t be. Not now.  

He dials again when the pain subdues a little. His lips press into a thin line to stifle the whimpers of pain. The line finally connected.

“ Hey, Is everything okay?”

Jimin doesn’t answer, gritting his teeth to suppress his groan. He can hear Yoongi shouting in the background before he returns to him.

“ I’m really sorry but I will be done in a few hours. The kids are having trouble getting their pitch right ” There is no frustration in Yoongi’s voice but genuine concern at the young rookies who have been working hard to make a debut. “ Hey, you okay there? ”

“Umm yeah” Jimin managed not to let his pain be known to the alpha because knowing Yoongi, the elder would immediately ditch his work to be by his side. “I just- I miss you” Yoongi chuckles at that and it sounds like music to Jimin’s ears.

“ I miss you too and our little one ”

Jimin really wants to let out a giggle but it comes out as a grunt instead.

“ What’s that? Are you okay? Did you need me to come over now? I can ask someone to replace me”

“I’m- I’m okay… Just the baby is kicking” He half lied. “But can you- can you ask Jin hyung to come over. I’m- I’m getting a little bit lonely” The lie rolled off easily on his tongue. He has done it many times before . He can do it again.

“ Are you sure? I really could swap my turn with other producers. It is not a big deal ”

But it is a big deal. They have been preparing this for months and Yoongi works hard for it. He can’t risk Yoongi’s job just because he is experiencing false labor right now. “Yeah, I’m sure”

When Yoongi finally hung up the phone, Jimin quickly grabs one of the pillows and bites it to muffle his scream. He counts and the contractions stop until 5. His chest heaving, tired from the activity. He rests his tear-streaked cheek against the hoodie until his breath even out. Jimin realizes this might no longer be a false labor.

It’s okay. He tells himself. He knows the procedure. He read them online many times. 

Taking a long deep breath, Jimin pushes himself up and rearranges his pillows and blankets. He needs to be as comfortable as he needs to be. He lays on his back and slows his breathing. He knows more powerful contractions are coming. He needs to be ready.

“Hang in there, little one. Just wait a bit more, okay?” He lays still, staring at the ceiling with blurry eyes. 

Another contraction comes, and it hurts for a whole minute. It is fine, it is what every pregnant omega went through. He can survive this. “Y-yoongi” His voice hoarse from all the screaming. “Please… come home” He cries out, tears keep falling from his eyes.

Around 10 minutes later, Jimin hears a knock on the door before a familiar voice could be heard. He cries in relief, “Am here” He manages to utter although his voice comes out weak and Jimin doubts whoever the person behind the door could hear him. 

Huffing, Jimin grips the edge of the couch beside and pulls himself up. “Am here!” His voice turns louder this time and laces with a mixture of fear and pain. “P-please hurry” 

There is rustling behind the door, key twisting and unlocking until the door finally bursts open. Jimin can hear hurried footsteps approaching him and the scream of dread when a strong foul smell invades their nose.  

“Jimin!” It was Jin.

The younger can feel arms around him, trying to shake him awake and the words spoken by the elder have been gentle, comforting but Jimin can hear nothing. The contraction hit him again and this time it is ten times more painful. He feels like his uterus is torn apart. But the pain has kept him awake.

“Oh God” 

Jimin’s water broke.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Yoongi stands behind the fancy equipment, eyebrows furrowed as he listens to the voice resonating through the headset. When the voice fades, he shakes his head and instructs the singer behind the panel to repeat the verse again. 

Ever since he hung up on Jimin, which was around 15 minutes ago, he can’t bring himself to concentrate on his work. Everything looks and feels wrong. They have been in the recording studio for hours. Something is missing and he can’t figure it out. His thoughts are filled with Jimin and the call earlier. 

There is something odd about the call and his instinct had wanted him to fly to the omega. But he can’t leave his team and the trainees behind. These people are counting on him, especially the young trainees that looked up to him with such admiration and trust. He can’t let any of them down, not the trainees, not his team. 

“PD-nim, did I do it right this time?” 

Yoongi snaps his head up and meets with a pair of doe eyes staring at him behind the dual pane glass that separated them apart. He forces a smile and leans down to the mic, “You did great, Sungwon-shi” The small compliment had the rookie smiling in relief, eyes glimmering with pride. “We are gonna take a little break” He suddenly announces but no one questioned him.

Walking out of the studio, Yoongi pulls out his phone and dials Jimin’s number. He bit his thumb, a habit he unconsciously develops when he is nervous, as he waits for the line to connect. The beeping sound from the other line left an unsettling feeling to his chest. He scrolls over his contact and clicks the call button under Jin’s contact profile.

“Come on. Please pick up” But the line keeps getting disconnected after continuous ringing. “Oh fuck it!” He opens the group chat message and thumbs over the keypads. 

Yoongi:

Have you guys heard anything from Jimin or Jin hyung??

Taehyung:

Idk about Jin hyung

But weren’t you supposed to be with Jimin this evening?

Yoongi:

I was held up in the studio

I sent Jin hyung to accompany him 

Namjoon:

If Jin hyung is with Jimin, I’m sure he is well taken care of

Hoseok:

Joon is right

I’m sure nothing happened

Yoongi:

I tried to call them

But they didn’t answer

Taehyung:

I’ll try to reach them, hyung

Maybe they are just too occupied rn

Yoongi:

Maybe I should just go home early today

Namjoon:

Look, we are gonna check on them ok

And we’ll call you as soon as we reach them

Yoongi:

Ok

Call me asap

I’m losing my mind here

Despite the assurance from his friends, it doesn’t soothe the uneasiness residing in his chest. Gripping his phone tightly around his fist, he takes heavy steps back to the studio. Yoongi ignores the worried look thrown towards him and approaches his crew. He decides to end the session early and ask them to proceed with any other songs that he isn’t involved in.

Yoongi then grabs his stuff and makes his way out, with his phone glued to his ear. The continuous ringing only adds to his annoyance. He hadn't walked far from the studio when a familiar voice called him. He turns around, cocking his eyebrows at Jungkook who jogs towards him. 

“Hyung” The young alpha calls softly. “Are you okay? You look trouble”

“Yea-” Before Yoongi can manage to say anything further, he is abruptly interrupted when he suddenly hears cries and shouts from the other line. “Ji-Jimin? Are you there?” He feels dread coming before he can even hear Jin speaking to him.

“ Yoon-yoongi, I-I need you to listen carefully” 

There is another cry. It wasn’t from Jin. 

Yoongi pales.

“Hyung?” Jungkook walks closer to the producer, careful not to alarm the agitated alpha. One wrong step can get himself hurt. “Is Jimin hyung okay? Should I get-” But he was cut off when the elder lifted a hand towards him, making him shut his mouth.

“I’m listening. Why is Jimin- Is he in p-pain?” He chokes out, unable to stop the sob leaving from his throat. “Is he?”

“ Yoongi-ah, you need to calm down ok? ” 

“How do you expect me to calm down hyung?! I can hear his cries. I can hear the sirens-” Yoongi sniffles as he pauses, listening to the sound that continues to blare loudly in his ear. “Are you inside the ambulance?” Yoongi wants to vomit.

“ Yes. Jimin, I think- they said- they said he is close to labor a-and his water broke a-and”

“W-what?” If it weren't for Jungkook who stays by his side, Yoongi probably would have fallen on his knees in the middle of the lobby. It takes him a moment to realize that the youngest alpha is dragging him to sit on the nearby couch.

“ I know it sounds so bad right now but he’s okay. We have professional medics monitoring him. He’s gonna be okay, I promise”

“Hyung, what happened?” Jungkook asks worryingly. 

“ Someone’s with you? ”

Yoongi nods before he realizes Jin couldn’t hear him. “Y-yeah”

“ Get him on the phone please ”

“No, no” Yoongi shakes his head. “I-I need to see him. I need to see Jimin!”

“Yes, I know. And he needs you too. But you can’t- ” Yoongi hears Jin takes a sharp intake of breath before he continues. “ You can’t drive in your state. Get someone to take you or get a taxi to the hospital , ok? You hear me? ”

“I heard you” Yoongi sobs, clutching at the shirt above his heart, hoping to stop the gnawing pain that slowly tears his heart apart. “Take care of him, please. Tell him I love him”

“ He knows, Yoongi. He knows. ”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

The drive to the hospital has been loud. Since Jungkook had insisted on tagging along, claiming that the producer needs every possible support they can offer, Yoongi actually has someone to talk through this horrifying ride. The younger’s presence proves to be a good company afterall. 

Rather than comforting Yoongi with assuring words, Jungkook has babbled about how cute the pup would be, if the pup would have the same eyes as Jimin, if the pup would take after Yoongi as well. Yoongi doesn’t want to hope the pup would have a little resemblance to him when it hasn't been confirmed that the pup is his. 

They only discovered about 2 months ago that he is indeed one of the donors but this very fact still can’t prove anything. Not without their DNAs matching. But it doesn’t matter to him right now. Maybe tomorrow, when the pup is safely delivered. 

But at this moment, he only wishes to be with Jimin, to hold the omega in his arms. 

“We are here, hyung” The singer told him.

Yoongi can’t help the quiver of his lips when he responds to the beta. His knees almost buckle when he climbs out of the vehicle. So much for a strong alpha. No, I could not afford to be weak. Jimin needs me. I need to be strong for him.

The taxi had dropped them at the pick up and drop off points near the entrance of Seoul National University Hospital. Jungkook had thanked the driver as he passed down the bill before he followed Yoongi inside. The producer is about 10 steps in front of him, seemingly lost in the swarm of people milling about. 

There are paramedics shouting as a new patient comes in on a stretcher, family gathering in one corner, kids running around the hospital lobby, some patients strolling mindlessly with wheelchairs. Yoongi hears cries and shouting in the distance. It makes him dizzy. He looks up so he can avoid seeing all these but it proves to be a mistake when the harsh lighting only makes his dizziness worse.

“Hyung, let’s go”

And he is dragged by the younger again. Jungkook only turned 18 last year. Yet, he is not acting like the adult he should be. Yet, he is the one being comforted. When the younger could be feeling as terrified as him.

“Where should we go, hyung?” It is a moment later Jungkook realizes he doesn’t even know where they are supposed to go.

Yoongi had almost laughed. But he didn’t. So he pushes himself out of Jungkook’s hold and for once, he doesn’t stagger as he strodes to the labor room. He remembers the route since one of the obstetricians had explained the labor procedure to them just about a month ago, as well as showing them the Labor and Delivery rooms. He even visited a week ago just to recall back the route in case things like this happened.

As they step out of the elevator that brings them to a hallway leading towards the Labor and Delivery Rooms, one of the few nurses Yoongi had encountered a couple times during their visits approaches him with urgency.

“Mr. Min” The nurse calls, followed by an affirmative nod towards Jungkook. There is a mixture of relief and concern in her voice. “Come quickly, he doesn’t have much time”  Yoongi’s heart almost stops at the implication that something has gone wrong but the nurse quickly explains. “His contractions are more frequent and longer which means he is ready to deliver. But-”

“But what?” There is a painful wail in the distance, in one of the many rooms, where Jimin could be inside. His steps grow quicker. He ignores the buzz in his pants pocket, knowing it is only Jin informing their friends about Jimin’s current condition. 

“Mr. Park wants to wait for you. Said, he won’t do it without you” 

Yoongi can’t imagine how painful it must be to bear the continuous contraction. The younger could have proceeded without him but he didn’t and it makes Yoongi’s heart clenches painfully.

“Come, he’s inside”

Yoongi doesn’t waste any more time and pushes the door open. The sight is difficult to take in. Jin is hunched over Jimin’s tiny form, his left hand grip Jimin’s hand tightly while his other free hand keeps brushing on Jimin’s sweaty locks.

“He’s here. We have to move the patient now”

When Jimin’s teary eyes meet him, it takes all his strength not to growl at his beta friend. He should be the one who is supposed to be standing at where Jin stands right now, holding his omega’s hand and comforting his omega with his alpha pheromone. 

Yoongi feels useless. But he has no time to dwell on his misery.

He pushes himself to stand beside Jimin, opposite of Jin, and uncurls the omega’s free hand that is clutching the blanket and brings it to his lips. “I’m sorry, Jiminie. I’m sorry” He murmurs as he rests his cheek against Jimin’s hand.

When he feels Jimin squeezing his hand, he sobs. His tears rolled over Jimin’s hand. Their hands tremble as Yoongi cries.

“Yoongi” Jin calls apologetically. “He needs to go now”.

Yoongi sniffs, wiping his tears roughly but never letting go of Jimin’s hand and he helps the nurses to roll Jimin’s bed to the Delivery room. He stands firm by Jimin’s side the whole time and keeps releasing his soothing pheromone, hoping it can lessen the younger’s pain.

Jimin is propped up on his back by the pillows, his knees are bent and spread widely, to easily accommodate the doctor to carry out his task. “Mr. Park, I need you to push as hard as you can after the count of 3. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Push!”

Jimin grits his teeth, chin tucks against his chest as he pushes with all his might. His grip around Yoongi’s hand tightens but the alpha doesn’t complain, instead he keeps whispering encouraging words to his ear, telling him how good he is. 

“Mr. Park. Take a rest between pushing if you feel tired, okay? And give it all when the contraction peaks. Trust your instinct” The doctor advises.

Jimin only nods, chest heaving and sweat glistening on his forehead. 

“Let’s take a deep breathe and do it again”

Jimin takes a long deep breath as told, inhaling the spicy cinnamon scent before he breathes out. He feels another contraction is approaching. 

“1” The doctor starts counting. 

Jimin remembers the first time he stepped foot  at the childcare center. He remembers the feeling of cradling a newborn pup for the first time. How small the pup was in his arms. How heavy the pup was leaning against his chest. 

“2”

Jimin remembers how soft baby’s cheeks were when he wiped their wet tears. He remembers how his heart fluttered when tiny hands curled around his own small fingers. Strong but warm on his skin.

He will experience these feelings again. Very soon .

“3”

Jimin pushes. And pushes and pushes. Until he hears it. A loud and high pitch cries of a newborn pup. Jimin closes his eyes momentarily, chest heaving, tired and sore. His mind is still hazy from the long and strenuous labor. He doesn’t quite register the absence of his alpha beside him until Yoongi returns to him with their newborn wraps in a clean cloth.

The wailing quickly subsides the seconds the pup is in Jimin’s arms. “ Oh ” His arms tremble but he holds his baby close to his chest, nuzzling his nose against the baby’s cheeks and neck, gentle and careful. He inhales when he finishes. His nose picks up a strong scent of sweetened milk, as most newborn pups would smell like and a faint smell of his own scent.

Eyes brimming with tears, Jimin pulls back, admiring the flushed skin of his pup, the small button nose and plump lips. So beautiful , my pup. He sniffles, refusing to let his tears fall during this joyful moment. But the tears fall anyway as it drops gently onto the baby’s round head. Except, it isn’t his tears. When Jimin looks up, Yoongi is looking down at their baby, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes. 

Jimin’s heart stammers heavily in his chest. His lips pull into a soft smile and he nudges Yoongi by the shoulder, nodding towards the newborn in his arms. Yoongi’s eyes widen when he fully grasps the meaning behind the gesture. Jimin nods again, encouraging and trusting.

Yoongi wipes his tears with his sleeve and settles on the edge of the bed. There's a lump in his throat but he swallows, heart pulsing rapidly. Slowly, he lowers himself until his nose pressed gently against the round bald head, inhaling the soft scent of a newborn and peaches. Then he burrows his nose between the baby’s cheek and shoulder, scenting, careful not to overwhelm the baby with his scent. He withdraws once his scent, both their scents , blanket their pup like a protective shield.

Their eyes meet then, watery and fill with a mixture of happiness, hope, relief and fear. Jimin giggles when Yoongi cries into his shoulder and he can help but cry together with Yoongi.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Yoongi sits behind his desk, hands clasp and tuck under his chin, elbows prop up on the desk. His head bops to the beats thrumming in his ears through the headset. He sighs then, pausing the music and stretches his limbs up above his head, body arching.

“Maybe you should take a day off, grandpa. I swore your bone cracked just now”

The producer jerks, hand coming to rest against his chest. He looks over his shoulder and shoots a non-threatening glare at the intruder lounging on his couch. “Jeon Jungkook. Who gave you my security lock code?”

Jungkook beams at the elder, bunny teeth in full display “It was easy to guess. You’re a whipped man”

The alpha narrows his head, but doesn't question further. Instead, he quirks a smile. "Talking about a whipped man, I need to go home and see my babies" he whistles happily, saving his file and shuts down everything before he pushes himself up.

Yoongi pats Jungkook's shoulder as he brushes past the singer.

"Wh-what?" The young alpha gapes at the alpha in disbelief. "You're leaving now? But I just got here" he pouts childishly.

"Thanks for reminding me I have somewhere I would rather be than being holed up in my studio all day"

"You are mean"

"Go home, kooks. You've work hard today"

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

5:00pm

Jimin connects his phone to the speaker. The playlist, ‘Mono’, is playing on shuffle and echoing softly in the living room. The volume is kept to a minimum, as not to wake up the sleeping beauty in the other room. Jimin is curled up on the bumped-out window seat, his cheek pressed against the windowpane. It is raining outside.  Jimin loves rain, it reminds him of that day when he brought Yoongi to the check up. 

It was raining when they headed back to his old apartment, with an envelope in his hand that changed his life afterward.

He pulls the blanket tighter to his body, providing him temporary warmth that he had been aching for since he woke up alone and cold. His mind suddenly wanders to a certain alpha with a broad chest which he could lean on and protective veiny arms that could easily envelope his whole body. Before his thoughts could venture further to something... obscene, he is startled by the sharp explosion of thunder. Only then he realizes the drizzle has turned into a heavy downpour.

The dark evening sky brightens when lightning strikes between the clouds. He jumps from the seat when another loud cry erupts but not from the thunder. He sprints across the room, almost stumbling when his foot caught on the carpet as he rushes to get inside ‘minimin’ room that he had intentionally left the door opened.

The wail gets louder as Jimin approaches the crib placed in the middle of the room. It took almost 2 months to furnish the old room into a baby’s room. The walls are painted baby blue. One of the walls is decorated with a drawing of white clouds on the upper part. Below, there is a boy with his arm raised upward, letting go of the yellow balloon.

Jimin loves it and he thinks his baby will too once he understands it.

Jimin coos as he bends down and picks up his 6 months old pup. “Did the thunder scare you, little one?” He lets out whooshing sounds to calm his pup. The thunder continues howling in the sky, making the pup cries louder. Jimin takes his phone out and increases the volume as he walks out from the room and settles back in his previous seat after closing the curtain.

“It’s okay, Jisoo-ah. Papa is right here” He cradles the crying baby in his arms and sways his arms in a gentle manner. His soothing pheromone spreads in the room.

Jisoo doesn’t stop crying, even when Jimin tries to put the pacifier in his mouth. Jimin almost wants to cry. 

Abandoning the window seat, Jimin seeks for a hideout in the form of a blanket fort that they built last few nights in the living room. He carefully crawls inside and lays down with Jisoo around his arms. “We are safe here,” He whispers reassuringly.

Another loud thunder crackles from the distance and Jimin scoots his baby closer to his chest, placing a kiss on top of the baby’s crown head. “Papa won’t let the thunder hurt you, I promise”

Every attempt to calm his crying baby is futile. His loud cries echo in the living room. Jimin wants to cry with his baby.

“Jimin-ah?”

The sound of footsteps grows closer and louder. Jimin didn’t hear the front door open (probably because of the thunder and his pup crying loudly into his ears).

Jimin stays inside, already knowing who the person is. He keeps shushing his pup and waits for the person to find them. There’s rustling outside before a familiar head peeks inside the fort. Jimin pouts and holds out his hand, “Yoonie hyung”.

“Oh” Relief washes over him once Yoongi found them cuddled together. He crawls towards them and lays down, the baby situated perfectly between them.

Yoongi coos softly, rubbing Jisoo's chest gently, hoping to cease the cry.

“He has been like this for a while,” Jimin told Yoongi. “My mom’s trick didn’t work this time” He pouts again. Mrs. Park had shared her ways of how to calm a crying baby that one afternoon when Jisoo had a fussy moment. It was something she used to do when Jimin was still a baby.

“You sang?” Yoongi chuckles, taking Jisoo in his arms when Jimin suddenly sits up.

“Yeah, I guess my voice isn’t as soothing as mom” The younger sighs dramatically.

It goes a little quiet outside. The sky is still pouring with rain but the thunder seems to have faded out. ‘Forever Rain’ is currently playing from the speaker.

“I love your voice” Yoongi confesses, his cheeks immediately heats up in embarrassment. He thanks the lack of light in the fort for hiding his blushing cheeks from the younger, despite the fairy lights around them glows brightly. Yoongi is still looking up at the younger, watching him stare back. No words are spoken between them.

The fairy lights cast a glow on the younger’s face and Yoongi thinks he sees stars in Jimin’s eyes. 

Maybe they are just fairy lights. 

But damn, “You are beautiful” Yoongi suddenly blurts out, staring at him so intensely.

Jimin’s eyes widened, cheeks burning. “T-thank you” He looks everywhere but the alpha.

Yoongi is about to say something when another loud cry startles the both of them.

“I’m- I’m gonna get her teddy bear,” Jimin doesn’t wait for Yoongi to respond as he hastily crawls out of the fort. Even after 8 months of living together, Jimin is still a blushing mess whenever he receives praises and small affections such as a kiss on the cheek. 

Shaking out his thoughts, he grabs the white fluffy teddy bear and steps outside. He notices the apartment has gone a little quiet, except for the sound of music from his speaker. He turns off the music and disconnects the bluetooth. Jisoo had stopped crying.

When Jimin checks on them, he finds out that the two most important person in his life are sleeping peacefully, Yoongi has his arm around Jisoo protectively. Jimin picks up the sweet cinnamon scent all over the fort. It is what lulls their pup. The sight makes Jimin feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈

Yoongi stirs in his sleep but doesn’t show any sign of waking up. But when another fit of giggles fill in the quiet apartment, his eyes forced open. He blinks sleepily and looks around. It is a little dark to see. The alpha groans as he slowly sits up, back aching from sleeping on a thin mattress. He stretches his arms but startles when his hands come in contact with the fairy lights.

Oh, Yoongi realizes. He had fallen asleep in the blanket fort. 

Yoongi folds his legs and crawls out of the fort. He is immediately greeted by the sight of Jimin blowing raspberries on their pup’s tummy.

The room is filled with their endless giggles. It sounds like music to Yoongi’s ears. A type of music he could never produce through his expensive equipment. A type of music he would want to listen to forever.

Jimin continues to blow raspberries until he looks up and catches Yoongi’s fond gaze at them. “You are awake,” He has a look of surprise on his face that only appears momentarily and is replaced by a wide grin.

“Yeah.” Yoongi returns the smile, crawling towards them.“ What time is it?” 

The rays of sunlight have pierced through the curtains which only suggests that it is probably close to afternoon. Thankfully, Yoongi has no recording scheduled for him today. His heart is at peace knowing he could spend more time with his little family.

“Almost eleven?” The other shrugs, before leaning down again to nuzzle their noses together.

Yoongi feels content, just watching at the side, always with the same fondness adorning his face. Yoongi is happy. He is happy how his life has turned out. It takes them a long time to get here and he has lost Jimin once but he swears he will never let go of Jimin again.

It was crazy how in the past, he could only watch Jimin with a longing gaze. But today he can look at Jimin as long as he can (and Jimin would return it with a blush on his cheeks). In the past, he could only wish to hold Jimin’s hand and buried that wish deep inside his head. But today, he can hold Jimin’s hand anytime as he wishes.

In the past, he could feel electric sparks just from their shoulders touching. But today, as he kisses Jimin under the tree, every cell in his body goes crazy. His inner alpha is happy.

Happy to be finally united with his future mate. After years of longing, he finally finds his way to his lover.

Yoongi finds himself lucky, he has Jimin by his side and their pup. His own pup. Who could have thought? He couldn't believe it at first.

But the moment, he held Jisoo in his arms for the first time. He just knew. The test they did afterwards only proved what he had known.

Jisoo is his, his blood, his kin. Jisoo who has a cute button nose is him and Jimin's pup. Isn't Yoongi is the luckiest Alpha out there? 

He has everything he ever want and he won't ask for more. Except one thing.

It is when they return home, as Jimin tucks the little one who has fallen asleep on their way home to her crib, that Yoongi, who is standing at the door, just watching, suddenly blurts the words he has been dreading to let out since Jimin moved into his apartment.

It wasn’t an “I love you”, no, he had already uttered those three words many months ago. Yoongi had waited for so long. He had waited for the right time to say it. But now, Yoongi thinks, there is never a perfect time for such an important moment like this.

“Will you marry me?” Yoongi repeats, inching closer to the younger who has his eyes widen staring at him in shock.

When Yoongi realized Jimin was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he had wanted to propose to the younger. He had wanted it to be perfect and special for them. He had everything planned. 

He had bought a ring.

But he wanted to wait until Jimin got into labor at least, until they settled with a new addition in their life, until Yoongi was certain that he could keep Jimin and their pup happy and safe.

But today, right at this moment, watching the tears that slowly roll down Jimin’s cheek, Yoongi doesn’t want to think of the perfect time because there never was. 

“Am i gonna hear a yes?” Yoongi jokes, heart pounding nervously.

The omega giggles, happy tears freely falling from his eyes. “Yes” Jimin chokes out, leaning his forehead against Yoongi’s chest. “Yes, I want to marry you”. Other omegas would have dreamt being proposed in a five star restaurant (with a ring hidden in their wine glass), or at the Han River while stargazing. But, Jimin is not like any other omegas.

Being proposed after tucking their baby to bed? Jimin could have never thought that. But it was the perfect proposal, it was so Yoongi and he never wanted it any other way.

Yoongi wraps his arms around Jimin’s tiny waist then, inhaling the soft scent of peaches. Their bodies sway in tune with ‘Winter Bear’ playing in the background, only to be interrupted by a faint whine from the little one.

Jimin giggles as he pulls away and looks inside the crib. The little one has woken up.

“I’ll get him” Yoongi tells his soon to be husband, before placing a kiss on the younger’s forehead and picks Jisoo up into his arms.

Jimin nods, blushing as he walks out and waits by the door with butterflies in his stomach.

“Did you hear us, little one? I proposed to your papa” Yoongi whispers cheekily which the little one only answered with incoherent babbling. “He said yes”

“No luxurious chandelier above us, no expensive wines and suits, no big house, big car and big ring. And yet, your papa said yes” He adds with a small smile. “What about you, little one?” Yoongi chuckles. “Will you let me marry your papa?”

The little one only giggles when Yoongi rubs their noses together. They have come to realize their pup likes his nose being nuzzled.

“Don’t worry little one, I will make your papa happy. I will make you happy” Yoongi promises, looking at the moon through the curtainless window. “We will make your papa happy together, okay?”

Jimin, who is still standing by the door, watches them with watery eyes.

“Right, little one?” 

The loud squeal echoing in the room when Yoongi lifted Jisoo up above his head snaps Jimin out of his reverie. Jimin looks up and watches how Jisoo's nose scrunches up and eyes turn into crescent as another burst of giggles escape.

Jimin grips a little tightly around the door knob, his eyes closed as he releases a contented sigh. He loves his family so much. When he opens them, their little one is looking right at him, chin resting on Yoongi’s shoulder with the latter still facing his back.

“Baba” and more incoherent babbling slips from the baby’s mouth followed by little giggles. While Jimin only smiles at his little one cute antics, Yoongi seems to freeze on his spot.

When it finally registered to Jimin however, his eyes widened in shock. Did their 6 months old baby just call him papa? Yes, the pronunciation wasn’t entirely correct but the meaning is all the same.

“He called me papa!” “You called me papa” Both of them squeal in unison. 

Yoongi yelps, startled by the sudden presence behind him. He spins his heel, only to get knocked over by an overly excited Jimin, making him stumble a little backward.

“Oh, careful there” Putting all his weight on his retreating foot, he caught Jimin with his free arm, stopping the latter from crushing them to the wall.

Jimin blinks, vision blocked from the fabric of Yoongi’s shirt. He looks up to Yoongi grinning at him. His cheeks heat up, both from the close proximity and his embarrassing antics earlier.

Jimin clears his throat and pushes himself from Yoongi’s chest (when all he wanted to do was go pliant in the arms of Min Yoongi and his broad chest).

“Uh..I” He begins, scratching his head out of shyness. “Sorry I was-” before he could finish the sentence, he is suddenly reminded why he ended up in this situation in the first place. His eyes go wide and shift toward Jisoo who is now resting his cheek on Yoongi’s shoulder, oblivious to the chaos ensued by him.

Jimin squeals again, startling both Yoongi and their pup. Jisoo looks over his shoulder, only to be attacked by Jimin’s kisses all over his chubby face, making little giggles slip from the baby’s lips.

Often being the bystander in their little family, Yoongi shifts the little in his arm before he imitates what Jimin is doing to their baby. So they are taking turns to kiss each part of Jisoo's face. Squeals and giggles of both adults and pup fill the room which only dissipate when both Jimin and Yoongi aimed for the nose.

They go still as quickly as they lean forward, their puckered mouths hover above Jisoo's tiny button nose. It wasn’t the collision of cheeks that stopped them but the accidental brush of the corner of their lips against each other that made them freeze on the spot.

Jimin is the first one to pull away, with a small yelp and reddened cheeks. But before he can get far, Yoongi pulls him back by the neck and kisses him on the lips.

Jimin blinks.

When Yoongi pulls away, a bright grin tugs at the corner of his mouth.  Once the younger regains his composure, Jimin returns the smile and slaps Yoongi’s chest in a playful manner.

There are no words that need to be spoken because…

They know.