Chapter Text
Agustín had been sitting in the Madrigal’s living room for the last hour thinking quietly to himself. He had conclusively decided that there was something seriously wrong with him. Recently he had been…noticing Bruno. It started off as little things. He noticed that he had freckles dusting his soft features. He noticed that his green eyes matched the moss undergrowth surrounding the Encanto. He noticed that if he were to wrap him in a hug that his chin would rest perfectly on Bruno’s curls. He noticed how full his lips were. That last one was particularly dangerous.
Worse than that, however, were the feelings that came along with all this noticing. The newest one was a light fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever Bruno smiled at him accompanied by an obnoxious blush. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Not about his betrothed’s brother. Not about a boy. He was in love with Julieta, that much was clear to him. But he couldn’t stop the goofy grin that would spread across his face at Bruno’s jokes or how cute he thought it was when he caught him playing in the courtyard with his rats.
Why was this happening to him? Agustín dropped his head into his hands. He pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the meat of his palms. He had to fix this, and soon. His wedding was in 6 months and he refused to enter into this union with such confused feelings.
A quiet, pained sound floated out of the kitchen breaking him from his reverie. He sat up straight and listened harder. Another groan followed by a whimper. He had thought he was alone in the casita, but that was Bruno making those pitiful little noises.
He got up and crossed the room to the kitchen where he found Bruno sitting in a corner, curled tightly in on himself, his hands fisted in his hair. His eyes were shut tight but there was a faint green glow seeping out between his lashes. If it weren’t for the grimace on his face the effect would have been quite pretty. Agustín shook his head firmly trying to distance himself from that train of thought. He padded over to where Bruno lay crunched on the floor and crouched down next to him.
“Brunito? You okay?”
Bruno startled slightly and then winced as the motion caused him more pain. Agustín felt a stab of guilt.
“Lo siento, Bruno. Lo siento.” He reached out and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. Bruno was trembling. “What do you need, amiguito?”
Bruno’s eyes cracked open and green flooded down his cheeks. It took Agustín a moment to notice that Bruno was crying, the fresh tear tracks reflecting the neon glow.
Bruno took a shuddering breath. “Por favor…Julieta, por favor,” his brows drew together tighter, “My head, she knows how to help.”
“She’s not here, Brunito. She’s in town.”
Bruno let out a cracked sob and Agustín’s heart broke. Agustín knew that Julieta wouldn’t be back for several hours at the least, but maybe he could help provide some relief. His mom used to have headaches like this…well not exactly like this. His mama’s eyes didn’t glow, for one. But he had learned a few tricks to help her and maybe they would help Bruno, too.
“Okay, Bruno. Está bien. I’m going to try something, alright? It might help?”
Bruno nodded tightly, giving him permission to try. He shuffled around until he was kneeling in front of Bruno, then got to work. He reached up and gently untangled one hand, and then the other, from Bruno’s hair. He held Bruno’s hands in his, their palms up. He gently but firmly squeezed the spot where Bruno’s thumbs joined his palms and rubbed circles into the muscle there, all the while watching Bruno’s face. His jaw lost some of its tension, which Agustín took as a good sign.
He set Bruno’s hands down and reached up to gently cup his face. He tried valiantly to ignore the warmth in his chest. Gently he smoothed his thumbs under Bruno’s clenched eyes, then along his brows. He pressed his fingers into Bruno’s temples and massaged gently in little circles. The glow behind Bruno’s eyes started to wane and his features fell more and more slack.
Agustín brushed his fingers into Bruno’s distressingly soft curls and used his fingertips to massage his scalp. He worked his way from Bruno’s hairline to behind his ears, and then to the base of his skull, still intently watching his face fall more and more relaxed. Agustín failed to ignore how much this would look like a lovers' embrace to anyone looking in. His face felt hot.
His hands worked down to Bruno’s neck where he kneaded the stiff muscles there. Bruno’s eyes had finally stopped glowing and he was making quiet, pleased sounds as Agustín worked. Slowly he opened his eyes, now back to their normal moss-green, and Agustín was shocked to find how close their faces were. He didn’t pull away though. He kept working the tension from Bruno’s shoulders, loving the content look on his face. Bruno’s eyes refocused on Agustín. He looked at him sort of quizzically, probably wondering why Agustín was still so close. His hands stilled on Bruno’s shoulders and his eyes drifted to his lips. From this close, he could really see his pretty freckles. He could almost…if he leaned down he could just press his lips–
Nope! Bruno yelped as Agustín pushed him back with perhaps a little too much force. He was blushing furiously, he was sure. He stood up briskly and clapped his hands to try and diffuse some of the sudden tension in the air.
“Okay! Looks like you’re doing better. Good good. I am just gonna,” Agustín gestured vaguely in the direction of the door, “Just, uh, call if you need something!”
He practically ran off leaving a grateful but confused Bruno on the floor behind him. He darted through the living room, the courtyard, and out the front door. It wasn’t until he was hiding in the treeline just beside casita that he allowed himself to breathe. This was officially out of hand. He had almost, I mean he would never without Bruno’s permission, but he had at that moment wanted to kiss him so badly. He had to talk to Julieta tonight. It may seal the door on their relationship, but she needed to know.
Dinner that night was awkward. Agustín was doing his best to look at the food on his plate and nothing else, but he still found his gaze drifting back to Bruno at the other end of the table. Bruno caught him staring once and waved a little bashfully. Cute. No! Not cute. He glued his eyes back to his food.
When everyone was done eating he helped Julieta clear away the plates. She was so beautiful in the low light of the kitchen. Anxiety was a hot lead ball in his gut. He took a deep breath to steel himself for what he had to do.
“Julieta? We, um. We need to talk.”
“What’s wrong, mi vida?” He winced at the term of endearment. He didn’t deserve it. His eyes were downcast as he started.
“I have a problem with Bruno.”, Nothing. He slowly looked up to find Julieta squinting at him suspiciously. Agustín instantly realized how that sounded and tried to back peddle, “No! I didn’t mean it like that! Lo siento. I don’t have a problem with Bruno, more like a problem with my feelings,” this wasn’t helping. Julieta was just staring at him, eyebrows raised. He was rambling, volume increasing, “They aren’t bad feelings, I don’t have bad feelings about him. More like complicated feelings that make things more confusing? Not that he confuses me, just that I’m generally confused and he’s there, which doesn’t help,” he was beet red and quickly approaching panic, “I mean, not that he shouldn’t be confusing. He has every right to be confusing if he wants,” what was he even saying, “I guess this is more of a me problem than a him problem–”
“Ay, Agustín, spit it out!”
“He’s very pretty, isn’t he!” Agustín’s jaw audibly snapped shut, his eyes wide.
The room was totally still, both of them frozen in place. Julieta looked baffled for just a second before bursting out laughing. These weren’t giggles, either. This was full-blown head thrown back laughter. If Agustín hadn’t been ashamed before, he certainly was now. He shrunk in on himself and closed his eyes tight. He was absolutely sure that any second the laughter would stop and the shouting would start. She would throw him out and never want to talk to him again and he would never see Bruno again and never be a part of this wonderful family and–
A pair of soft hands on either side of his face stopped his spiraling thoughts. He opened his eyes hesitantly and found Julieta looking at him lovingly. How did he still get to see her look at him like that? She patted the side of his face gently.
“Oh, Agustín, you scared me! I knew you had feelings for him, already.”
She knew? How could she know? He barely knew and he was the one with the feelings! Some of this must have shown on his face because she continued.
“Really, mi corazón, you aren’t subtle. You blush every time he looks at you and get this silly little smile on your face whenever you can make an excuse to touch him. When I first noticed it, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure how to feel. But I talked to Pepa,” oh god, Pepa knew, “and she helped me come to terms with it. I mean, we already share everything else with him, anyway,” what was she saying? It couldn’t be that she didn’t mind, “ so if he wants this too, if he likes you, well that wouldn’t be so bad. He doesn’t, um. He doesn't like women.”
Agustín was shocked speechless. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to get angry. She was supposed to hate him for this. Supposed to think he was disgusting. Why? Why was she still here? Still comforting him? What had he done in his life to deserve such unmitigated kindness? He should stop this. He didn’t want to drag it out and hurt everyone even more.
“You can’t mean that,” he said sadly, “How could you mean that? I’m not normal! I shouldn’t have these feelings. I shouldn’t want this!”
“Agustín, I’m not going to punish you for this. You can’t help how you feel.”
“But I should!” He was being too loud but he had to get his point across, “I love you, Julieta. That should be enough!”
“It is enough, mi vida. You just love him, too,” she said calmly. Her voice was even and measured like she was trying not to scare him off. Maybe she was.
He took a shuddering breath in, “But it’s wrong. I’m wrong. ”
She clicked her tongue in disapproval, “Cállate, Agustín!” she gripped his face more firmly, forcing his eyes to meet hers, “If I think you are wrong, think it's bad for you to feel this way, I condemn him also. I have never once been ashamed of my brother, and I am not going to change that for you!” Her tone left no room for argument. He sighed and sunk into her arms. He tucked his head against her neck. It was a little awkward because of how tall he was, but also so comforting.
“This is all so much. I don’t know how to deal with any of it.” His mind helpfully brought him back to the first part of their discussion. Hold on. “Wait, he doesn’t like girls?” God, why did that sound so hopeful?
Julieta chuckled, “No, he does not.” she scratched through the short hairs at the base of his skull. He took another deep breath surrounded by the smell of her cooking and felt himself relax slightly. Maybe this would be okay after all.