Chapter Text
-Venti added 47 people to group chat "Random losers-
Diluc: What?
Kaeya: Oh wow you actually made a group chat, how do you know so many people?
Venti: I'm fameous ;)
Albedo: Spelled famous wrong.
Diluc: I'm leaving
-diluc left the group chat-
-venti added diluc to the group chat-
Venti: No leaving or i blow up the boys bathroom
Xingqiu: WHOA
Jean: Venti no
Venti: Venti yes
Xingqiu: sounds fun can i join?
Venti: only if you know how to make a bomb
Jean: do not openly talk about blowing up a school
Diluc: especially not with the teachers in here
Xingqiu: why gonna expel us?
Jean: Yes
Diluc: Yes
Xingqiu: oh
Kaeya: Why'd you add the teachers anyways venti
Venti: I said group chat of everyone, everyone includes boring teachers.
Hu Tao: Can we make one wh no teachers i do not want to get set on fire because i said something
Diluc: Like what
Kaeya: dont answer
Diluc: shut up
Kaeya: :(
Venti: This group chat was the perfect decoy to get mad peoples phone numbers
Xiao: You do realize most of us don't know each other right?
Kaeya: yeah most of us are in different grades
Venti: its the perfect bonding experience, no one can ever have to many friends ;)
Xiao: i dont want to be friends
-xiao left the group chat-
-venti added xiao to the group chat-
Aether: oh snap pls dont blow up the boys bathroom thats where i get all my weed
Jean: WHAT
Aether: i didnt say that
Lumine: you fucking idiot
Aether: what i do
Venti: dont worry youll live to get weed another day for my xiao could never do anything wrong <3
Xiao: what
Xiao: ...
Xiao: so can i leave or no
Venti: no
Aether: no
Kaeya: no
Xingqiu: no
Jean: Aether i will be alerting your parents about this
Aether: What parents
Kaeya: LMAO
Aether: shut up you lost 2 dads
Lumine: LMAO
Jean: is there no parent figure in your house
Aether: what that mean?
Jean: Lumine?
Lumine: uh there's principal dain but he's just there sometimes
Dainslief: I have confiscated weed multiple times i am aware of his possession of it
Aether: can i have that back
Dainslief: no
Aether: pls
Dainslief: you're grounded
Aether: :(
Lisa: honestly might be a good think if that kid blows up the bathroom maybe this hellhole of a school will finally shut down
Xingqiu: Doubt it, last week i almost got shanked with a piece of broken glass
Jean: WHAT BY WHO
Diluc: he told me about this but there was no broken windows or mirrors so obvi nothing happened
Xingqiu: BRUH HE BROUGHT GLASS FROM HOME
Jean: WHO
Xingqiu: FUCKING RAZOR
Jean: yeah that didn't happen
Xingqiu: WHAT?!
Venti: LMAO
Lisa: My boy wouldn't hurt a soul
-bennett is online-
Bennett: he did take glass to school tho, he wasn't planning on shanking you tho he was nowhere near you
Xingqiu: he had it and he was looking at me, clear indicator i was about to get shanked
-razor is online-
Razor: broight gass for pain
Xingqiu: SEEE
Bennett: *brought glass for paint, we were doing glass paintings in art, what razor didn't realize is he didn't need to bring his own glass.
Xingqiu: LIES
Razor: truth
Jean: yeah that checks out
Xingqiu: BRUH WHAT
Jean: also bennett are you okay, mrs miko told me you somehow got glass lodged in your elbow
Bennett: it hurted
Razor: was gross
Xingqiu: The fuck?
Kaeya: is that bennett kid the same dude who got fucked up by lightning in front of the school
Bennett: yea..
Kaeya: LMAO, IM UR BIGGEST FAN HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE
Bennett: i ask myself that everyday :(
Diluc: that tree was my favorite tree to
Kaeya: what
Diluc: the tree that got stucked by lightning along with bennett
Venti: lmao the kid dont matter hes sad abt the tree
Diluc: i do not know this bennett kid so i do not care
Razor: i eat u
Diluc: no you wont
Bennett: thats his way of telling you, you better lock your doors at night
Venti: OOOOOOO
Lisa: bruh these some badass kids
Venti: i didn't do anything yet
Lisa: "yet"
-zhongli is online-
Zhongli: What Is This Why Does My Phone Keep Vibrating Its Overheating
Venti: EW WHY DO YOU TYPE LIKE THAT
Zhongli: Pardon?
-childe is online-
Childe: Hey mr morax i ever tell you you're my favorite teacher
Zhongli: Hello Childe, Yes Everyday Please Stop Saying That
Kaeya: dude childe you're crusty you be crushing on teachers and shit
Diluc: Pardon?
Jean: Thats illegal
Lisa: LMAO ZHONGLI ABOUT TO CATCH A CASE
Zhongli: I Have No Relations With Him Outside Of Teacher Student
Diluc: Stop typing like that before i kill you
Zhongli: OK
Childe: we can become more than teacher student
Venti: fucking nasty
Kaeya: I bet your asshole is just a gaping black hole
Childe: I infact have never taken it up the butt :)
Kaeya: liar
Jean: Okay lets change the subject before I throw up
-Lumine is online-
Lumine: once i threw up and Aethers nasty ass ate it
Jean:...
Diluc: she threw up
Venti: how you know
Diluc: i live with her smooth brain
Xingqiu: Mr.Ragnvindr unfiltered
Diluc: shut up before i give you a pop quiz tomorrow
Xingqiu: not a pop quiz if you tell me
Diluc: you fail every test with 20s
Venti: LMAO
Lisa: Venti you aren't much better...
-aether is online-
Aether: did she eat anything before throwing up
Diluc: expelled
Aether: :(
-dainsleif is online-
Dainsleif: You cant do that
Aether: :D
Dainsleif: only I can, aether you're expelled
-dainsleif is offline-
Aether: fuck
Lumine: Deserved while you're at it you can sleep in the backyard tonight
Aether: bruh this shit is racism
Lumine: sho is
Venti: bruh the main reason I created this group chat aint even talking
Kaeya: who?
Kaeya: oh nvm i know who
Xingqiu: who
Lumine: who
Kaeya: Xiao
-xiao is online-
Xiao: Keep my name out your mouth whore
Kaeya: WHOA
Diluc: HAHAHAHAHAH
Venti: Xiao
Xiao: What
Venti: :(
Xiao: WHAT
Kaeya: he wanted you to call him a whore
Xiao: no
Kaeya: bruh why me i didn't even do anything
Childe: you are very much a whore
Kaeya: shut up senior citizen lover
Childe: bruh
Jean: Zhongli isn't all the old
Venti: lies
Xiao: he's really old
Xiao: plus childe, whoever you are, hes married
Childe: WHAT
Kaeya: oh yeah i forgor about that because I remember diluc crying about that
Venti: he was that happy for him?
Kaeya: no he was inlove with him
Diluc: BRUH
-zhongli is online-
Zhongli: Diluc?
Diluc: My little brother is just pulling shit i didn't i swear
Jean: he did
Diluc: DUDE
Kaeya: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Jean: its how we started dating
Venti: wait what
Jean: oh i forgot i was in a group char with my students
Xingqiu: wait no we wanna hear the story
Diluc: dont tell the story
Jean: ok so
Diluc: ugh
Jean: He figured out zhongli was engaged after liking him for a while and then was crying and got drunk for like the first time in his life and i was comforting him and then suddenly we started making out end of story
Diluc: might as well just be walking around naked huh\
Childe: yes pls
Kaeya: you're fucking nasty
Zhongli: I Am Sorry I Made You Feel That Way I Had No Idea Of Your Feelings Towards Me But Yes I Am Married So Please Stop Making Advances On Me Childe Or I'll Have Dainsleif Expel You
-dainsleif is online-
Dainsleif: I'm not a expel that kid tool but, yes ajax stop flirting with your teachers or your parents will be hearing about it and please keep the weird drunk stories to yourselfs
Jean: they asked
Dainsleif: didnt have to tell ;/
Childe: bruh
Diluc: i fucking hate everything
Dainsleif: please don't enable these childrens foul language
Diluc: ill burn your house down
Lumine: Aether is already working on that
Dainsleif: goddammit
-dainsleif is offline-
Kaeya: this is the funniest day ever thanks for making this groupchat dude
Venti: bruh like 90% of the people didnt even talk
-albedo is online-
Albedo: we dont know each other stupid
Kaeya: yeah like who are you
Albedo: I literally sit next to you in science
Kaeya: who?
Albedo:...
-albedo is offline-
Kaeya: did i do something wrong
Lisa: Dude you talk to that kid everyday how do you not know his name?
Kaeya: hes pretty quiet i think
Venti: sheesh, you probably hurt his feelings
-albedo is online-
Albedo: no
-albedo is offline-
Xingqiu: totally hurt his feelings
Kaeya: oops
Venti: bruh
Diluc: will you idiots please go to bed its 11pm on a school night
Venti: no
Diluc: i will expel you for bomb threats
Venti: ok
Jean: goodnight everyone
Childe: so am I expelled or no?
Jean: no just stop making unwanted advances on your teachers
Childe: k
Kaeya: he's totally not gonna stop
Diluc: he better or ill burn his house down
Jean: stop saying that
Xingqiu: Mr Ragnvindr a arsonist
Diluc: sure am and if you dont go to bed you'll feel my unbridled rage
Xingqiu: goodnight ;-;
Childe: pls dont burn my house down i have family
Diluc: go
Diluc: to
Diluc: BED
Childe: yes sir
Jean: oh my