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“Oh, come on Maddie, baby, really? This is what you wanted to see?” The exasperated voice came from behind her as she peered across the phone’s GPS and towards a large building with all sorts of strange things coming out of the top of it. “This is just made up shit, come on, let’s just go to that stupid teddy bear factory you wanted to go to and then hit up a bar. It’s cheap down here.”
“Nash, please. This is the only time it’s in town, I have to see it.” Maddison sighed, turning to her boyfriend of 2 years. She was a tanned and short, petite woman with long dark brown hair to her waist and doe brown eyes that looked up and stared into hardened hazel ones as she talked again. “It’s only just for 30 minutes and then we can go where you please, okay?”
Looking down at her, Nash sighed, hardened exterior starting to fault. At 6 foot high, with slightly darker skin than Maddie’s, light brown short cut hair and a lot of muscle on him despite the small bit of chub he had, for some reason, he couldn’t resist Maddie’s begging like he had done so in the past. “Fine.” He relented, teeth grit.
“I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” Maddie smiled at him before leading them through to the exhibit’s ticket booth. “Welcome to ‘Believe It or Not’, how may I help you?” A dark-skinned woman with the sweetest smile manned the counter.
“Two admissions, please.” Maddie said sweetly back, taking the correct amount of money out of her purse to pay for the fee to get in. “Of course, first time seeing the exhibit?” The woman asked brightly, putting numbers though on the till and organising everything behind the counter. “For us, yes. I’m rather excited as I’ve been into this stuff since I was a kid, but Mopey McMoperson behind me is not so sure.” Maddie chuckled, leading to a heated glare from Nash and her chuckling and rolling her eyes. “You know I was joking.”
“Sure you were.” Nash said sourly, frowning. “I still don’t see the point of all this.”
“Well, that’s all done.” The woman interrupted the conversation, having come out from behind the counter holding two armbands and a map, a large bump visibly straining against her work shirt. “I’ll just hand this over so I can send you on your way.”
“Aw.” Maddie gushed as she took the offered goods. “How far along are you?”
“Only 2 months to go, I look much closer, I know. Some things you just can’t predict.” The woman laughed, a hand finding its way to the aforementioned object. “It gets in my way most of the time.”
“I think it’s lovely. I hope to have one of my own someday.” Maddie complemented, leading to a groan behind her and Nash pushing in front, taking his armband off her and slipping it on his wrist.
“Come on Mads, stop your chattering and let’s just get this over with.”
‘Sorry about him.’ She mouthed, pulling on her own armband as she spoke.”Okay, now, come on you big baby.”
“I am not a baby. I just don’t like this kind of thing, okay?” Nash scoffed, walking beside her as they went down a flight of stairs, descending into the exhibit as it was under the main floor.
“I know you don’t, you made your stance very clear upstairs. You didn’t have to interrupt me and that girl talking though.” She sighed. He bit his lip, awkwardly looking away. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean to, I was just not comfortable with that whole talk you were having. Thought you were thinking things.”
“Nash…” She chuckled, slipping her arm into his. “You know we’re too young right now and you said it yourself months ago at the beginning, you don’t want kids. It’s just a silly little dream I have that every girl has once in a while. Don’t worry so much.”
Nash could have swore as she turned to him that Maddie looked sad, but she hid it behind her smile and a chuckle. “Now come on, stop groaning and let’s just walk through this place. You never know, you might find something that interests you here.”
Maddie was right, of course, but she didn’t want to tell him that. She had studied the exhibit from the inside out after hearing about it to see if it was really worth checking out while they were down here and it had been highly recommended. Strangely, however, she hadn’t found many websites about it, despite being world-famous. Brushing the fact off her mind, including the moments before when she had been talking to Nash and the lady at the front desk, she just squeezed Nash’s arm as they went inside the archway that led them to the first area.
It took a while, a long while probably in Nash’s opinion till he became interested in a certain video exhibit they passed by, to get through to the last area due to Maddie’s remote interest in well, everything, but they managed to push their way through the small crowds quite easily. Almost relieved at seeing the stairs, Nash almost bolted for them, if it weren’t for seeing his wayward girlfriend turn from the corner of his eye and stop suddenly as he grabbed the railing, sighing at being so very close. “What’s up, Mads?”
“Look at these statues, aren’t they awesome?” She gushed and Nash had to sort of agree, history and cultural stuff was never his strong suit, but he could see the appeal of them for the first time since they were down here.
The statues, in particular, looked almost like they belonged on a tiki bar, one facing the other and vice versa, clearly wooden, but covered in fading paint, their faces detailed, but clearly showing their age. It was almost like they were…looking at him, at everyone around them in a way, eyes able to follow most of the people that were hanging around. He couldn’t explain exactly /why/ with that in mind that he walked over to them to join Maddie beside them, but he just guessed that being down in a janky museum at the height of summer wasn’t doing him any good. For Maddie however, he persisted. “What they about?”
“African Fertility Statues-” Maddison started reading, squinting at the plague as Nash’s hair almost stood up on end. “-standing five feet high and weighing over 70 pounds each, these 1930’s period West African Baulé carved statues in ebony wood were a priceless treasure, produced only by hand and given to families experiencing infertility. Hm.” She kept reading down the quite expansive text, intrigued. “If placed at the front door of a home to produce their magical energy, touched even with the slightest hand, whichever party responsible for the contact would soon after become pregnant.”
“Oh, come /on/.” Nash interrupted, rolling his eyes. “You can’t honestly believe that, right?”
“Well, they seem to be quite…erie, don’t they?” Maddie looked up at him, biting her lip.
“Well, yeah, everything’s creepy when you are in a basement sized space like this.” Nash flung out his hands in exasperation. “They’re just pieces of wood. That’s it. Seriously, I bet if you touch them, they’ll do nothing.”
“Oh, no.” Maddison straightened, shaking her head immediately in his direction and backing away from the exhibit as quickly as she could. “No way am I touching those. You want so bad to prove that everything down here is fake, you go right ahead.”
“With pleasure.” Nash suddenly gloated and to Maddison’s amazement, reached out past the velvet ropes and laid a full, large hand on the statute, encasing one of its feet completely for a few moments before pulling back and turning to her, gesturing to his body. “See, nothing. All lies, babe. Now come on, let’s get out of here before we start melting like the wax museum we saw yesterday and become part of the inventory.”
“Alright, alright, let’s go.” Shaking her head, Maddie couldn’t help but feel something tight growing in her chest, unable to let it go as they ascended out of the space and continued about their day. Everything seemed fine, but by dinner, the feeling had only gotten worse and it didn’t help that Nash looked a little…off. “Hey, are you okay?” Maddie reached out and clasped Nash’s hand from across the table where he had been leaning his back against his chair, breathing quite heavily. “You look a little pale, you know. Maybe it’s time to give the rest of the meal a pass?”
“No, no.” Nash swallowed, straightening up with a groan. “I’m starving and I’m paying, so want to finish, but I think I just need to take off my jacket. It’s hot in here.” He did so as he was talking, Maddie’s eyes flicking to his torso as he did so as she noticed he looked a little more doughy around the waist, jeans seemingly digging into his shirt as he sat back down. “Someone’s going to have a food baby more than an actual one after this.”
“Hey, what can I say? Everything went downhill after I left high school. My peak is long gone, along with all my childhood dreams and my ability to burp nursery rhymes.”
Maddie laughed at the joke and tried to smile as did he, but both could most likely see that there was concern (Maddie) and worriedness (Nash) behind them. They both hid their emotions away quickly in order to finish up their food and by the time they left, Maddie was assisting a slightly wobbly Nash out of the doors and towards their hotel, eyebrows quite drawn together and heart going a hundred miles an hour. “You do not look good, babe. Are you sure you’re okay? Please be honest.”
“I don’t know, ugh…” Nash’s arms, with both of Maddie’s under one to keep him steady and not fall on his face, were encircled around his stomach as he groaned, sweat pouring down the side of his face. “Maybe I did eat too much. My stomach feels like it’s about to explode, or worse, empty itself onto the pavement. It’s cramping like hell, like it’s hurting really bad.”
“Well, you haven’t been drinking or smoking since we’ve been here and only had a beer an hour ago and didn’t pack any blunts, so you can’t be drunk or something like that.” Maddie rattled off as she tried to keep him upright. “Maybe it’s something we had that didn’t agree with you? You did say while we were eating that everything tasted slightly weird.”
“Must have been, ow…” He winced, hand coming up to pinch his nose as he swayed on the spot, having stopped suddenly in the middle of the street. “Give me a minute, dizzy…”
“Okay, okay, not good.” She waited for as long as she could before she tugged on his arm gently, palming the hand with her free one. “Come on, one more street to the hotel and then a good shower and it’s bedtime for you. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us back tomorrow.”
“Couldn’t agree more.” Nash managed to nod slightly before swallowing again, looking all the more like he wanted to blow chunks then and there, before they started walking again, him mostly groaning all the way.
They only got so far into their hotel room before Nash let go and stumbled rather fast into the bathroom, Maddie wincing as the sound of retching reached her ears. Looks like her boyfriend had another case of food poisoning. Most likely, they wouldn’t be going back to that place again, if they ever returned for another vacation here.
Sighing, Maddie quickly undressed and grabbed Nash a pair of basketball shorts and a shirt to sleep in as well as some painkillers that she hoped wouldn’t vomit back up, eyes zooming in on him once he reemerged, still looking pale but slightly better than before as he tugged at his clothing, seemingly not able to get them off.
It didn’t click until a second after, but Maddie’s eyes widened as she saw that they were much tighter than when they were at dinner. Nash’s stomach, a ball of slight chub that she’d used confessionally as a pillow before, seemed to be swollen and digging into his belt and jeans rather hard, while the buttons on his shirt were holding, but starting to stretch the fabric across them to somehow hold the shirt together. Was it really an unlucky combination of a case of food poisoning with an added food baby? It had to be, there wasn’t anything else it could be, right? Or…was it really something else? Something more…mystical?
Maddie felt a shiver, cold and startling as ice rolled down her back, frozen as the day’s events cycled through her head as Nash continued to struggle before he looked up at her and saw her face, looking absolutely terrified. Was he thinking the same as her right now?
Both of them stared at eachother before Maddie, ever more levelheaded despite neither of them being calm in the slightest while refusing to believe what could be happening in front of them, snapped back into movement, putting the clothing down and reaching out shaky hands towards the much taller man and wrapping them around the belt buckle, unclipping it from where it was digging in under Nash’s stomach.
As soon as she did, his body lurched forward, him making a sound like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him and taking a deep breath in all at once as the belt dropped to his sides and his jean button, as well as his zipper, broke in front of her eyes, suddenly being followed by the ping, ping, ping of shirt buttons hitting on like pellets on her numb skin and chest as one by one, they burst open from the pressure of Nash’s stomach against them.
Sweating still, but able to breathe and looking horrified, Nash stared at her as she was the one to swallow this time and before he could even speak, she quickly grabbed the clothes and helped him pull his entire wardrobe off without a word, leaving him in his underwear and socks before helping him again to dress, his whole body aching and feeling heavier and heavier the longer he stayed standing despite the support of her shoulders under his hands.
He almost felt like his entire lower back was going to crack in two as Maddie helped him to the edge of the bed and he sat down roughly, but it was nothing like what was happening in the front as the shirt she’d picked, which would have been loose on him this morning, currently pulled against him taut and getting tighter with every passing second, the bottom of his stomach, a huge mound of taut, round, stripy skin, peeking through the hem in place of where it should be meeting his shorts or be over them, attempting it seems to extend outwards all the way to his knees or beyond.
Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes as they equally in horror watch it grow and grow and grow, along with other parts of Nash’s body on later inspection (chest, hips, bottom, cheeks, waist) until finally, it seems to stop, but only when it’s about to take Nash off the bed and send him headbutting into the floor from gravity alone.
For several moments, there is just breathing within the room, before Nash finally speaks in a whisper, voice tight and high as he stares at himself, reaching down from where he's braced himself not to fall backwards /or/ forwards to make sure what he’s seeing is real and while it looks like his hand has just landed on a newly discovered alien planet - it is definitely his body. “What, in the actual fuck.”
Maddie’s entire being suddenly breaks and all that freaking out earlier as well as that tight feeling that was following her all day suddenly comes to the surface. “You know what caused this! You know what you did! I told you that it would- Jesus Christ, what are we going to do?!”
“I don’t know!” Now they’re yelling at eachother. Great. “It might be-” He scrambled to think of a more rational answer. Anything but what she was alluding to. “-it might be an allergic reaction or something!” He offered feebly, but he could see from both him and herself that it was a rather weak excuse given the circumstances, especially when he went to speak again and suddenly grunts as something suddenly strikes his ribs from inside and his hand goes back to the top of the thing where it’s slightly raised, feeling like someone was punching him in the side. “Ow.”
Maddie’s panic floods away to terrified concern as she gets up again to stand in front of him, her hand joining his as the same swift movement returns, startling them both.
It’s enough to finally crack Nash who, suddenly overwhelmed, starts muttering ‘no, no, no’ to himself and stalking around the room the best he can with the newly acquired weight he’s received in the last couple of hours while she’s still staring at him, rooted to the same spot she was frozen in earlier with her hand still outstretched. It most likely would have continued to be that way for a while, but Nash finally stops, the bed dipping as he practically collapses on it, head in his hands and his face the rosy red colour of oncoming tears that Maddie knows all too well, but hasn’t seen on him in nearly forever.
Nash wasn’t like most guys she’d gone with. Athletic types were never her magnet. Nash was also more stoic than guys she’d been with before, emotions being second nature to him from being raised by his Dad to see the world as just a bunch of trophy wives and opportunities to be brought and not earned. She’d hoped that in the time they had been dating that she might in some way have changed his perspective, but right now, that was the last thing he needed her to notice and she knew that despite being just as scared, she needed to figure out what the next step was from here for the both of them. Somehow.
Tentatively, she walked slowly over to the same side he sat on and lowered herself down gently as not to startle him, a hand reaching to clutch his thigh (or really, what was visibility left of it), the action making him turn to her, sniffling and eyes wide and scared. She took a breath in at the look, before it left her again. “I don’t know what’s going on, or really, what we are going to do if…what we know is happening, is actually happening, but we’ll figure it out. Together. Before we go home, hopefully.”
“Shit.” His voice left his mouth like a puff of smoke, quiet and cutting through some of the tension as he stared. “I can't- how can we go home and explain this?”
“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.” She reiterated, unmoving as his hand fell to hers and she turned her own up from his thigh to clutch it. “Right now, I think you and I need to sleep this all off, despite feeling like we won’t and talk about it when we aren’t losing our minds.”
“How?” He asked, chest shaking as he watched her like she was the only physically tangible thing in the room other than himself. “How can I sleep like this? My whole stomach feels like a medicine ball, I want to vomit and something keeps hitting me in the back and ribs.”
“Here-” She started reaching for the pillows both on the bed and the ones on the floor beside the bedside table that they had taken off of it when they had gotten there days before. “-let’s just try and lie you down, okay? If it doesn’t work for you, we can sit you back up and talk it out from there if that’s what needs to happen. Ba-” She hesitated at the word she was about to speak before she retreated. “-small steps. Small steps just for now.”
All Nash could do was nod shakily, letting her gentle hands guide him into his side as carefully as she could, piling up pillows in several different spots until he feels a lot less achy and weighed down than he had been before all of this, wrapped in on himself.
Curled up next to him as close as she could get, Maddie couldn’t help but reach out and gently stroke the curve solidly poking its way over to her side of the bed, hoping that he knew she wasn’t doing it to antagonize him, just to make sure it was really real like he had done. Hand joining hers, despite already knowing that his body was exactly how she was seeing it, Nash looked across at her, meeting her eyes. “I’m scared Mads.”
“I’m scared too.” She murmured back, nodding feebly. “I feel like we’ve literally just gone through the five stages of grief in like, a couple of hours.”
“Yeah.” He agreed with her. “Feels the same over here too. Along with a lot of other things I never thought I would feel ever in my whole life.”
She could only nod at that, his stomach in her eyeline looking pointy and misshapen as something, god only knows what, warped it under their touch and clearly caused Nash discomfort given he winced before it seemed to shrink back together to a more round look, leaving them both palming the angry red skin as the movement ceased.
She tried not to think it was creepy, but she was sure he was having the same thought.
She hoped it hasn’t shown on her face, but it seemingly didn’t matter as not two seconds later, Nash doubled over with a sound she’d never heard before, a sudden smell filling her nostrils as he looked down towards the end of the bed in fear.
Expecting, for some uneasy reason, to see the bed a golden colour and try to console Nash for his most likely embarrassment about it, the panic she’d been feeling earlier suddenly returned as when she dared to look, the white sheets were painted the same watery pink a pond lily would be, her shaking the image of the flower from her mind as she looked back at Nash’s face as it contorted and he yelled out, hands digging into the sheets.
“Nash, Nash, babe, what’s happening-”
“Fuck, fuck it hurts, I don’t know!” Tears. Actual tears were falling down Nash’s cheeks as his whole body shuddered, stomach seemingly warping out of shape more now, like whatever was inside was trying to fight someone from the inside. It was terrifying.
Springing off her side of the bed, she almost fled out the window in fear of her life, but turned course as he withered, soaked in his own bodily fluids as she grabbed his leg to hold it down and peel off his shorts to find the source of the ever-increasing pink patch under him.
If she almost fainted seeing something attempting to leave Nash via his backside, well, she was warranted enough in that action. She had been terrified before, but now, scratch that, she was back to absolutely horrified seeing the hair and blood-covered crown of a baby’s head (a baby’s /head/, oh god) trying its damnest to leave her boyfriend’s body with him yelling out in pain, his penis curled up and startlingly purple against the taut skin above it.
It wasn’t any better the lower she looked either. The skin around his hole was red and swollen and not only were his thighs and bottom starting to bruise at being held so wide, but his balls also seemed to be taking some of the brunt as well, red and purple from being cut off due to the tension being placed upon them from the pressure of a foreign object being there. Snapping out of her trance when she heard him yell out again, she quickly held his right leg up to be against the bulge of his stomach to provide more traction and called out to him. “Babe, babe, it’s right there. It’s right here.”
Nash’s answer to her was a loud, broken scream as he curled around himself again, the semi-circle of dark, wet hair becoming a half-circle before it suddenly burst out, more pink fluid and splatters of blood smacking into his bruised thighs and the bed as he twists, attempting to right himself to sitting.
“Babe, no, no-” She doesn’t mean to, but has no choice but to push her body weight onto him from the angle she’s on, effectively holding him down as he yelled out, mostly muffled into the pillow near his face. “Don’t move babe, it’s almost out. I promise.”
With a pained gasp and flailing arms, Nash seemingly tries to fight her and honestly, he’s normally more strong than she ever will be in her whole life, but it seems he isn’t able to produce the same strength she’d witnessed before as it’s not long before his whole body shakes with a bellow he suddenly produces out of nowhere and the baby, originally just a head, turns into a head and shoulders before it suddenly comes shooting from him like a bullet only to fall flat onto the mattress sprawled out and silent, still and unmoving.
Maddison honestly didn’t know what came over her, as in this situation, surely her boyfriend would be more important, but she’s suddenly surging forward and grabbing the poor thing who’s black and blue around the face from going through muscles that it was never meant to squeeze past, but from her touch, it startles before it’s wiggling and lets out a thin reedy cry that shakes Nash out of his pain for a moment, looking up at her delerious as she holds it at arm’s length, not knowing just exactly what to do with it.
The cord (or basically whatever is keeping this somehow fully human child attached to Nash by magical means) just hangs limply against Nash’s knee and her own top, staining it with blood and something sticky as she just holds it as it’s crying dies down to just whimpers, it’s limbs tucking in on eachother as it struggled with getting used to being somewhere new.
Meanwhile, still looking quite overweight for any sort of comfort to befall either of them, Nash struggled into a sitting position, his stomach far from what it had been except what looked like zebra stripes along the bottom of his groin and sides, but the rest of him still rather doughy as he stared at the baby, who Maddie finally had the sense to wrap in the towel she had been planning to use for her shower and cradled against her, it’s little face pulling all sorts of expressions as they equally watched it now that it was quiet, save for a noise here and there.
Unexpectedly, Nash’s arms reached out towards them and hesitantly at first, she didn’t move - afraid to drop the little thing, but eventually, she deposited the bundle of towels and cord and most importantly, baby, gently into Nash’s arms, letting him curl up with the baby’s back resting against his knees, him speechless like she was while she fell next to him feeling like she’d fall over dizzy if she didn’t.
Looking at each other, both of them felt very shaken up by what had occurred and it was only when the baby grunted before it opened it’s eyes to stare back at them, that she felt like crying, the feeling in her chest breaking like a hot knife through butter as she reached back out and let it’s little hand curl around her thumb tightly, incredulous. “Hey there...”
“Holy crap.” Nash’s voice broke the silence around them as seemingly, he brought the tiny creature closer to their faces as best he could, practically sitting it on his semi-deflated belly as he spoke. “It’s a baby. A real one.”
“Well, yeah. The statues did say that /anyone/ could get pregnant.” She didn’t mean to snip at him, but knew he’d received it due to him withering a little, but not breaking his gaze. "You had to somehow think that it would have been real."
“Well, no, but...it doesn't matter. I just...so…what do we do with…it?”
The little one then took the opportunity to yawn and stretched out all of it’s skinny appendages, giving both of it’s newly christened parents a full display of everything they needed to see (or most likely didn’t) in that moment before recurling with a sniffle as Maddie wet her lips and spoke. “Seems /he/ doesn’t really care what we do right now as he seem to be interrupting his beauty sleep.”
“Would have been nice to have a new opinion somewhere.” Nash groused, but it wasn’t in an angry way as the baby seemingly dropped off into a light snooze before their eyes, content despite it’s entry into the world to sleep on top of his father now the bad part was, or at least looked like, it was all over. “Should I keep holding him like this? I don’t know what to do.”
“Me neither.” She sighed, trying her best to find the right response and getting nothing but echoing emptiness as she looked at the scene before her. This was going to need more than excuses and explaining than they could have at the ready from the call to the hospital, to doctors,their parents, their friends. How do you explain you had a baby on a weekend away thanks to your boyfriend touching a statue? That was just a one way ticket to the loony bin. Unless…
“Cryptic pregnancy.” Maddison suddenly whispered as Nash looked at her, before she spoke slightly louder. “We play it off as a cryptic pregnancy, somehow. With me. We get you up, clean you off, make everything look chaotic and I roll into your spot holding the kid while you call the ambulance and go all out saying I just had a baby out of nowhere.”
“Do you think they would believe us?” His voice was hesitant.
“It’s the only option we have to get you both checked over. You could be hurt as what I saw down there was not looking good while he came through.” She sighed, hard, shaking her head. “While they are doing everything for me and the little guy up in the maternity ward to make sure we’re okay, you can sneak off to the emergency department and get everything he hurt coming through you to be checked out.”
At his silence, she could see the hesitancy and reached out her hand, this time towards him for once as he looked at it before looking up at her. “Together?”
Shifting to lift one hand from under the baby, Nash clasped it hard, nodding jerkily as she held up his phone and pressed 0-0-0, starting to rise as asked for their lives had changed and somehow, while he had yet to compend everything, he knew he could trust her. “Together.”
“Good. Now, get your acting skills together. You have a panicked father role to play.”