Archive of Our Own

With a face of stone, Lando was sitting on the closed toilet lid and stared at the little piece of plastic in his hands - the testing strip. And although he could clearly feel it lying in his fingers, he still couldn’t believe that this was real. That he was actually doing this here.

He had never been late on his cycle. Not even once.

Yes, he had started with his heats a bit later than most Omegas, but once it had been ‘rolling’, so to speak, there had been no problems with it anymore. Over the last three years, his bleeding had always come as reliably as these things could be; most of the time on the spot, maximally one day earlier or later. And luckily so, because like this, he could avoid taking these hormonal bombs of heat suppressants.

Of course he was aware that these pills were only intended to help Omegas to cope with their biology. Like, to make both the days of their heat and their bleeding a little more bearable and controllable, in the first place. And also did he know that they had done wonders for some of his friends, who had suffered a lot under the unpredictability of their irregular cycles, or under heavier symptoms throughout it.

But Lando still didn’t feel well with the thought of taking these pills himself. He was too worried that they might influence his ability to perform at work. Cause even if it was just driving in the sim and not out on a real track like the actual drivers, it was still sim-testing for the McLaren F1-team, not just playing around. They expected certain results from him, and in order to deliver these, the Briton needed to be fit and sharp - and not tired and dizzy, as Sacha had once told him that he felt before changing the brand of his pill. Nor randomly unwell in his stomach, like it out of the blue happened to Max from time to time.

Both of his friends claimed that it was worth it, though, because their cycles had been all over the place before and they were, on the whole, feeling much, much better now. But even if Lando was aware that he wouldn’t necessarily have to experience the same side-effects (or any side-effects at all) if he started with the pills, he was not really keen on putting it to the test. Therefore, he loved his job too much as to risk losing it through something so… avoidable.

And since his cycle was as punctual as a clockwork and he only experienced mild symptoms alongside it, it also wasn’t necessary. He could perfectly time his rather uneasy days with his work schedule - or used to be able to, to be precise:

Because for the first time, the so accurate clock in his insides seemed to have got stuck somewhere on the way and was now ticking behind. Eight days behind, exactly, and with that more than ever before. More than the normal variation of only one day or two that he knew.

Which scared the young Omega a lot.

Cause what was probably the most common reason for such a delay was obvious, wasn’t it…?!

The chances were low, of course. Carlos and him hadn’t even had so much sex in the last time, because they both had been heavily busy with the new simulator update. But nonetheless, Lando couldn’t fight the thought that even one single time could be enough if it was done right - or done wrong, in their case, when he thought back to that evening in the bathtub…

Earlier this month, Carlos had prepared a romantic surprise for him when he had come home after a loooong day at the MTC - all with dim-lights and candles and rose petals everywhere in the bathroom. To celebrate their 26 months together, as the Spaniard had explained upon the younger one’s surprised face.

Even if it was kind of kitschy and they were actually a bit too old for such highschool-sweetheart-stuff, weren’t they, Carlos nonetheless still liked to cherish these small anniversaries every now and then - and although Lando did not get tired to tease him for it, the Omega deep inside also loved these little things that his boyfriend prepared therefore. Because admittedly, those were indeed really romantic every time, no matter wether it was breakfast in bed, a cuddly movie night or a proper dinner out in a nice restaurant - and the decorated bathroom had been no different. Quite the contrary, especially after his long day in the simulator (and an intense training session in the MTC’s gym!), a hot bubble bath had sounded just like the right thing for Lando’s exhausted bones - and a hot bubble bath with Carlos even more!

So, in next to no time, the Omega had found himself sitting in the tub with his so amazing, caring, loving boyfriend, clinking their glasses of wine together that the older one had also brought. Normally, Lando didn’t really drink alcohol, but again, it had just been such a sweet surprise as a whole and also it had been Friday, with a free weekend ahead - so he had curtly decided to treat himself with half a glass, too. Just for the taste of it and to cherish the moment.

Obviously, it had not stayed at only bathing this evening. Very soon, they had been smooching around in the warm water and not much later, Carlos had reached out his dripping hand from the tub and felt for one of the condoms that he had also placed within reach.

In all honesty, Lando wouldn’t even have needed this part. His tired body would have been just as happy with only lazing around in the warm water with his boyfriend - but the way that the latter had spoiled him with kisses and caresses had just felt far too good to not give into them. And also had they not done anything exhausting, but had stuck to some very sweet and slow love-making, which had left the Omega — them both — feeling very nicely relaxed afterwards, rounding this anniversary-celebration off in the best way possible.

The only shock moment had been when they had realised that, between the bubbles and the rose petals, the condom had somehow slipped out of place a little.

Because that was the other, if not even more prominent aspect of being (or not being) on heat-suppressants: The contraceptive effect - or the lack of it, in their case:

Whereas Sacha and Max could have sex without worries at any time in their cycles (…well, apart from protecting from STDs), Carlos and Lando were heavily reliant upon condoms at certain days. Which neither of them had minded much so far, to be honest - they had just always done it like this together and were used to taking a rubber for when Lando was in heat.

And with the Omega’s regular cycles, it was also easy to plan the increased precautionary measures already in advance - and as well the point when they were no longer necessary. Which was why, after the initial shock second, in which they had only stared alternately at each other and the mishap in Carlos’ lap, Lando had quickly calmed the older one that it wasn’t so bad. That the highest point of his heat had already been days ago and that therefore, his fertile span must certainly be over meanwhile, too.

Certainly.

For sure.

No matter how often Lando had re-done the maths in his head, plus had checked the cycle-tracker-app on his phone, he had come to always the same conclusion: His ovulation must have  actually been too long ago to play a role.

Cause, you know, egg cells are sensitive little bitches after all, that don’t like to wait forever - and according to his tracker-app, this particular one must have already been waiting for quite a while before the night in the tub. So most likely, it had already said its goodbye before they even had the bottle of wine opened.

…but, although the calculations seemed pretty clear, there still had been this nagging question in the back of Lando’s head, which had got only louder with every day that his bleeding had not come: What, if not?

What if his ovulation had not been too long ago to matter?

What if the egg cell had maybe arrived a little later than they thought and had still been on guard, faithfully waiting for a sperm to melt with? And if the little mishap with the rubber had allowed one to get through to it?

Truth be told, they had checked very closely, and as it had seemed, Carlos’ load had all landed in the condom and nothing had leaked out or anything - but it had been hard to tell, of course, as from the water, just everything had been wet. No chance to spot any unwanted drips. So they could not rule it out completely after all; and with every day of the past week that he had been waiting in vain for his bleeding to start, Lando had found himself more and more wondering:

What if maybe one tiny, tiny drop of it had somehow happened to get inside of him? If the infamous one single sperm that was needed had made it into his cervical canal, to fertilise the already withering, but still-there egg cell in literally the last minute? And if that fertilised egg was now making itself comfy in his uterus and the reason for his delayed bleeding…?

The imagination caused the Omega to shudder under another wave of adrenaline, and if he had not already been sitting on the toilet lid, he would have definitely needed to sit down now. His whole body felt weak as wobbly jelly, and he best wanted to cry because he felt so overchallenged with this all.

Out of reflex, he calculated everything through yet again, but only came to the same results again as before - aka the same results that also the app and Carlos had both come to, too. The same results that seemed so, so likely.

However, against all probability - there was only one way to know for sure.

Lando’s gaze fell back on to the testing strip in his hands. This thing one would bring them certainty. And one way or the other, he just had to know - not to mention that he was sure that he’d go crazy with only one more day of trying to ignore it and just wait…!

No, he definitely didn’t have the mental capacity for that anymore. Not on day +8, as it said in his tracker app meanwhile.

So, knowing that it was time to act, the Omega took a deep breath, then he got up from the toilet lid, lifted it up and in the next move pulled down his nighttime-sweatpants, to take this fricking pregnancy test and gain certainty, once and for all.

However, the execution turned out a bit more difficult than he had expected. Of course he knew that he had to pee on it and also that it then took some time before the result would become visible - basic knowledge. He had seen that often enough in series and films, that wasn’t the problem. But what they never included on the screen and what he wasn’t so sure about was how long this time would take. Cause on that regard, the description on the package of the test was sadly not really helpful; and also not really English:

Rather did it seem like a bad copy-paste-translation from Google or the like - apparently from some Asian language, as Lando reckoned based on the many foreign characters and letters that were all over the box.

If it had not been such a serious situation, the Omega would have wanted to laugh over it: That’s what he had of it now that he, in his anxiety rush yesterday, had only looked for which test was qualified for same-day-delivery so that he could get it still in the evening and have it ready this morning, and not on the brand or anything - now he was sitting here, not knowing when this damn test was due.

The package only said that you should stick the cap back on, lay it down ‘horizont even’ — Lando guessed that meant on a flat surface, so he put it on top of the sink — and wait ‘minutes’. But no specification of how many minutes, exactly.

However, just when Lando — sitting on the closed toilet lid again, suspiciously eyeing the developing test — was wondering wether the standard five minutes would be a good deal, or if waiting too long could maybe affect the results, he was suddenly interrupted in his thoughts when he heard the apartment door, followed by a very familiar voice calling: “Lann’o, I’m home!” through the flat -

Causing the Omega to almost drop the cardboard packaging in shock, which he had just wanted to scan for any further helpful information for probably the hundredth time: Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! Carlos was back from his round of running!

“Sorry it took so long”, the said continued in the same second from somewhere in the apartment, probably kicking his trainers off by the door. “I met Alex on the way — you know, Rupert’s Alex — and we ran a bit together and chatted and I totally forgot the time.”

Forgot the time?!, it echoed through Lando’s head - ha, he rather felt like the opposite was true; as if the Alpha was back even quicker than normally! This could have never been his normal fourty minutes already, could it?!

…but, how it also instantly crossed his mind: For how long had he, on the other hand, only been sitting on the toilet lid before, lost in his thoughts and pondering back and forth of what he should do now, wether he should really take the test or wait further, wether it could be possible at all,…? 

Damn it, he had wasted so much time! And now Carlos was already back home and with him, Lando’s original plan to do this test all in secret was off the table!

Cause he lived long enough together with his boyfriend to know their routines meanwhile - which included, after his morning run, that Carlos next would have to use the bathroom as well, in order to get ready for work!

And really: Only seconds later, Lando already heard his footsteps coming closer to the bathroom door and next, there was a knock on the wood. “Cariño, are you still in there?”, the so familiar voice asked from the other side; of course, since he had not heard anything from Lando yet - causing the younger one’s heart to race wildly in his chest.

“Y-yeah! …hi!” - he forced himself to answer, even if from his panic, the words came out more like a hoarse croaking. But apparently, the board of wood between them muffled it enough or Carlos was still floating on his runner’s high or something, but either way, the Spaniard (luckily!) didn’t seem to notice the nervous undertone.

“Hi! How much longer do you need?”, he just wanted to know. “Cause I still need to shower before I go!” - just as the Omega had already dreaded, shit! But routine or not, that shower was definitely not an option right now!

“I, uhm- yeah, just a minute, just need to brush my teeth!”, Lando hastily gave back, and — as if to prove it — opened the tap to fill his toothbrush mug with water; totally regardless of that he had actually already cleaned his teeth extra-closely, when he had needed some time to think and had suspiciously been eyeing up the (back then) still wrapped-up test for a while -

Cause right now, he needed time to think again. Time to think of a way how he could unnoticeably smuggle this test out of the bathroom without Carlos seeing any of it! 

However, the said was not so easy to fob off: “Can I maybe already jump in the shower while you do that?”, he asked, still standing in front of the bathroom door. “That would really save me some time again!”

If you want to save time, then shower at the MTC later! You’ll need to freshen up after the sim-session again anyway!, Lando countered almost angrily in his thoughts, halfway in the desperate hope that telepathy was a thing and that his boyfriend would somehow catch his mental message and would please refrain from the shower now - because in all honesty, the Omega didn’t know what reason he could issue for why not.

They often shared the bathroom when they got ready in the morning, sometimes even went under the shower together, no big deal - so what plausible reason could he bring in now for why this was not possible today?

“Uhm, I- …uhm…” - Lando feverishly racked his brain for a saving flash of genius, but in his alarm, he couldn’t think of anything good so quickly.

So when Carlos — obviously having not received his mental message — once more pleaded: “Please, I’ll be late otherwise!”, the Omega had no other choice than to surrender. Damn it! Forced to act, he just quickly grabbed the test from the sink and (in the absence of an idea for a better hiding spot) curtly shoved it together with its wrapping into the pocket of his sleeping-sweatpants - which was actually a good bit too small for both items at once, but heck, it just had to fit now, he didn’t have the time to think of anything else!

So he just pulled his t-shirt down as much as possible, in the hope that it would cover the bulging pocket, and sent a quiet prayer to heaven that please, please everything would be fine, before he — just when Carlos knocked again with a “Lando?” — turned the key in the lock and forcefully pulled the door open.

“Hey!”, he greeted his Alpha with a bright, breathless smile, who (probably out of reflex) returned the awkward greeting - even if his smile was of a rather confused nature:

“Hey…?” Carlos looked back at him in surprise. “You locked the door? Why that?”

And truth be told, he caught the younger one off-guard with his question:

“Oh, just- don’t know. Habits, I guess!”, Lando hurried to answer with a shrug. It was true: Growing up with three siblings, he had learnt early that the only way to have your peace guaranteed was to turn the key around; no matter wether it was in your own room or in the bathroom or wherever else. And such habits from an early age were just hard to abandon, even when they were no longer needed now.

It still happened often enough to the Briton that he caught himself subconsciously turning the locks also in Carlos’ and his shared apartment here, so it was a welcome excuse now - although the Omega was well-aware that this time, it had not been just an automatism and neither had he not noticed it. Today, he had deliberately locked himself in for a very, very specific reason…!

And because he had such a feeling that Carlos might sense it, that there was more behind it than just an old behaviour pattern this time, Lando — before the older one could have even had the chance to get wary over his answer and ask any further — quickly stepped aside to let him into the bathroom, as he had wished. “C’min!”

What Carlos then luckily also did, thank goodness for how time was pressing! - however, not without giving his cariño a look of concern from underneath suspiciously furled eyebrows as he passed him by. “You okay…?”

To which Lando hurried to nod. “Yeah! Sure! Why not?”, he gave back on the spot, trying to look and sound relaxed and okay, but to his shock, his voice became a little high-pitched in the last word. Shit! Not very trustworthy!

Instinctively, he tried to overact the glimpse of his nervousness by changing his position and wanted to — demonstratively casually — lean against the little shelf with the towels to his right - but, big mistake: Because since his eyes were fixed strictly on Carlos, to scan his boyfriend’s face for the slightest sign of that he might see him through, the Omega unfortunately miscalculated the distance between himself and the shelf and inevitably lost balance.

“Whoops!”

“Whoa, careful!”, Carlos called and reflexively rushed forward, with his arms outstretched, to try and catch his clumsy boyfriend - but luckily, Lando managed to save himself with a quick sidestep. Well, from the fall at least - albeit not from the look of skepticism in Carlos’ eyes, that was written all over his face as he eyed him up.

“You sure you okay?”, the Alpha asked once more, and it was audible in his voice that he didn’t think he was - obviously! But Lando remained steadfast:

“Yeah, yeah, all good, I’m fine!”, he reassured as he (also in this demonstratively laid-back and cool manner) re-sorted his shirt from the almost-trip-and-fall again and brushed some non-existent dust from it. Like, in the hope to come across all relaxed and easy.

However, that was the second big mistake of this Tuesday morning; or perhaps the even bigger one:

Because before the Omega could admit in a half sentence that he, okay, maybe was a bit tired, since he had not slept so well tonight (…which was true, guess for what reason!);
nor could go on the offense himself by asking his boyfriend wether his run was nice;
let alone make moves to brush his teeth, as he had initially claimed that he wanted to do -

Before Lando could have done either of that, the catastrophe was already taking its course: When his left hand once more brushed over his shirt, in the attempt to smoothen the (actually barely crinkled) fabric, his fingers nudged against the only just covered edge of the cardboard box from the pregnancy test, that he had so carelessly shoved in the pockets of his pants - and ere he could have done anything to save it, the said wrapping was already catapulted out of its hiding spot and flew through the air.

The Omega saw it all happening almost like in slow-motion: How the package was turning a few times as it fell, over and over again, front-side, back-side, front-side, back-side - before it hit the floor and rolled a short way over the bathroom tiles, from the rest-momentum… and then came to halt right before Carlos’ feet, with the threatening nature of no less than a hand grenade.

Oh FUCK.

At first, Lando was so shocked by this view that he couldn’t react; couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything - and when he, only a split second later, had regained control of his body, it was already a split second too late: Before the younger one could have sprung forward to grab and hide it again, Carlos had already leant down to pick up the mysterious cardboard box up himself - and so, with horror, Lando saw how his Alpha laid his eyes on the one thing that he had not wanted him to see.

His reaction took a second, though, and at first there was only curious interest in his mien over what for a little box this was - but already in the next moment, Carlos’ eyes became wide when he read the lettering on it and his head jerked up.

“Lando, what- what’s going on here? Why do you...?”, he asked with both audible confusion and concern in his voice, looking back and forth between the suspicious box in his hands and his boyfriend. “Are you…?!”

And there it was - the inevitable question, which the younger one had wanted to avoid for the whole time. Which he had wanted to keep away from himself, but all the more from Carlos.

But now, he couldn’t run away from it any longer.

Lando swallowed heavily, suddenly feeling as if the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders - and as if the attention of the whole universe was revolving around him. At least did Carlos’ intense gaze make him feel like it; as if he was standing in a spotlight, when he, with shaking fingers, reached into the pocket of his sweatpants and brought the testing strip to the light again.

Obviously, there was no sense in hiding it any longer, since the Spaniard had already seen the package and knew it anyway - and yet, Lando nonetheless felt weirdly exposed and just so… vulnerable when he was eventually holding the device itself so uncovered in Carlos’ view. As if only just now the final secret was out.

“I’m late”, he pressed out barely audibly, then gulped again. “…eight days.”

Nervously fiddling with the piece of plastic in his hands, his eyes all by themselves flickered over to the little results window - which was still blank after all, but still, the sight brought his heart to race in anticipation. Quickly, Lando put the test down on the sink again, in order to not get tempted to look again, and also to just have it out of his hands - maybe a bit also in the naive urge to create a distance to the situation itself like so.

To this situation that felt so… unreal for him, after all - and when he carefully peeked up to Carlos through his thick lashes, he saw how the said’s face had changed over this view and the now outspoken fact, too.

“Oh…”, he just made; a quiet and at the same time all-saying sound. Of course the Alpha knew as well that his cariño’s cycles had always been very regular. He had benefitted from it as well after all, in terms of how easy contraception used to work out for them - and the Omega could see it in his boyfriend’s mien that he was instinctively thinking back to the exact same evening in the tub, too.

Of course he was.

It was the only occasion that could come into question recently. And also the only blunder they’ve had so far. Ever, in all of their 26 months.

But nonetheless, this turn that the morning had taken all of a sudden obviously still came very surprising for the Carlos - for one reason mostly: “But you said the peak of your heat was already days before…?”, he, after overwhelmedly clearing his throat, repeated what Lando had indeed claimed back then. But the way that Carlos said it now, it sounded more like a question.

A question to which there unfortunately was only one answer.

Causing the Omega to sheepishly, almost guiltily lower his gaze and shrug this shoulders. “‘mnot sure, actually…”, he muttered -

Because that was the truth. He had his normally very regular cycles, yeah - but if he was honest, he had not really felt much of his heat this time. Quite the opposite, the only excitement and restlessness that he had experienced had been linked to the new sim-update and work. Not much of a surprise also, given how much time they had spent at the MTC over the last month and how intensely they both had been working on this new update.

Most evenings, Carlos and him had come home too tired for anything beyond simply chilling and cuddling on the couch for a bit before heading straight to sleep - and especially too tired for much action between the sheets. But that had not been much of a problem, cause different to his heats before, Lando had not experienced the typical increased sexual desires throughout any of these days.

More like it, all days had felt pretty much the same.

Which was new, yes, but the Omega had just thought that it was because of his exhaustion and the intense workload and had not worried about it much back then. Why should he have, also? There had just been no reason to doubt that his internal clock might not be working correctly nonetheless, as it had always done -

But now, on day +8, this was different; and Lando did indeed worry about the so “quiet” heat this time. Because like this, he now couldn’t determine for 100% how long ago the highest point, the peak, had been. Wether it had really been too far before the night in the tub to matter - or wether it had maybe been a day or even two later…

Carlos was listening closely as the younger one explained the whole mess to him and finally gave voice to all the worries that he’d had on his chest for the last days. Admittedly, the Spaniard’s normally so handsome face got more and more serious throughout Lando’s narration, but still, he was surprisedly calm, when the Omega had finished:

“Okay… okay…”, he just said, ruffling his hair and nodding a few times to himself, like, to let it all sink in. He pointed with his chin towards the test, which was still lying (upside-down) at the washbasin. “…then we’ll know for sure…” He left a short pause. “How long does it… take?”

Lando gulped, to moisturise his so dry-feeling throat from all the talking. “Don’t know… couple of minutes”, he cited the vague information that he’d been able to extract from the instructions. “It doesn’t really say much on the-…”

He gestured towards the box, that was still in Carlos’ hands - who then saw the problem himself. “Yeah… hmm.”

He turned the package in his hands for a moment, as if he was maybe hoping that he might spot a secretly hidden information that Lando had only over-read the whole time - but of course, he didn’t.

“How long is it already on, then?”, he instead wanted to know - but sadly, also for this question, the Omega couldn’t deliver a much more precise answer.

“Don’t know…”, he had to admit again, shrugging. “I… I did it shortly before you came home, so… maybe…” He tried in vain to estimate how many minutes might have passed since then - three? Four? Or maybe six, or more? Lando just didn’t have a clue and so could only helplessly shrug again, unable to answer.

Which made the whole situation even more uncomfortable for him, because he just felt so… incapable!, and dumb; and useless and gawky and stupid, and every other adjective there was related to ‘failing’. Cause that was how this whole affair felt for him: Like a failure. Or what else would you call it that he couldn’t properly keep track of his cycle, nor even of the duration of his pregnancy test by simply taking a look at his phone in the beginning?!

Wow, what a truly competent and reliable guy he was, after all! 

But apparently, Carlos didn’t think so (or if he did, he at least was good at hiding it), cause instead of holding up any of that against him, the Spaniard just nodded again. “Okay… then we’ll- …wait.”

And so they did.

With Carlos taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub and Lando pulling his knees to his chest on the fuzzy rug before it, they were waiting in silence for time to pass. Forgotten was all of the rush before and that Carlos was actually running late to get to work and still had to shower off his running sweat. Or that Lando’s toothbrush was still standing untouched in the (for pretending) refilled mug again, waiting in vain to be used.

Nothing of that mattered in this moment. Even time didn’t matter anymore. Cause admittedly, latest by now, Lando lost his sense for it completely.

He had a feeling that like they were sitting like this for quite a while, but on the other hand, it could also have only been seconds - or time could have stopped completely. It was as if this bathroom had turned into a place beyond time and space, far away from everything, doomed to eternal standstill -

Until Carlos eventually, after no-idea-how-long, came back to life and cleared his throat.

“I think it’s…”, he cautiously began and nodded over to the sink again. He didn’t finish his sentence, but Lando by his legs — instinctively seeking his Alpha’s near — knew what he wanted to say anyway: It’s time. It’s due.

A statement that made his pulse shoot up like a rocket. Because he also knew what he had to do now. What was the next step.

Automatically, his gaze darted up to the sink, which seemed to be so high above him and so far away all of a sudden. Downright unreachable.

And maybe it was the view of the said distance or the awe over what was waiting at the end of it; what severe thing was lying there on top of the sink, only waiting for him to face it it - but either way, Lando’s hand was trembling badly as he lifted his arm. Or attempted to lift it, more like it, because no matter how hard he tried - the Omega just couldn’t bring himself to reach for the sink and pull himself up on it, in order to grab the test.

It almost was as if there was like a barrage in his insides, that — for reasons of self-protection — just wouldn’t let his arm go any higher.

And when he realised that too, Lando lost it.

“I can’t…!”, he whispered with a teary voice as he let his arm drop back into lap, and fearfully hid his face in his hand - hiding away from Carlos, the responsibility, his ever-growing anxiety and, above all, the truth. Hiding away from the answer to the question that had been keeping him on his toes for the whole last week and that was by now certainly clearly visible on the plastic strip. But as much as the younger one still yearned for certainty, he was just too scared that it might be certainty in the wrong way!

Instantly, he felt a warm, comforting hand on his back, stroking over his T-shirt.

“Shall I…?”, Carlos caringly suggested from behind him; and it surely was only meant with the best intention - but Lando immediately shook his head, sniveling a “No! - no…”. Because if there was one thing that he was more scared of than this test result, then it definitely was getting to know it only second-hand through Carlos’ facial expression. He was not ready to see the Spaniard’s mien become even more serious and look at him with such a helpless, sorry, overchallenged look in his eyes, if it should really be-…!

No, wether Lando liked it or not, he had to be brave himself here. Had to be brave now. Cause as he once more reminded himself, they needed to know anyway if the test should really be positive - and as much as he wished for it, running away from the truth couldn’t make things undone anymore either.

The only way was… through.

And so the Omega bravely wiped over his eyes to drive these damn tears away that wouldn’t help him any further after all, and instead forced himself to take a deep breath. Again and again, he internally told himself that he could do this, could do this, could, could, could! - before he eventually rose up from the bathroom carpet and reached for the piece of plastic on the sink with shaking fingers and… looked.

“And?”, he heard Carlos ask already in the next second, who was trying his hardest to not stretch his head and peek at the test himself, too - being the man with the good manners that he was, his boyfriend wanted to leave it to him to tell him what he saw in the little result window.

Luckily, at least that had been clear, thanks to the illustrations on the package insert: One line meant ‘no, not pregnant’, two lines meant ‘yes’.

However:

“I- I don’t know…”, Lando slowly gave back - much to his boyfriend’s confusion:

“What, you don’t know?!” Certainly due to his own tension, Carlos’ voice sounded unusually irritated, so the Omega hurried to explain:

“I got one line and… a shadow or something”, he said, still staring at the testing strip in his hands with critic eyes, expecting for the result to change and become clearer at any second. But no matter how intensely he stared at it, it stayed at only the one bright-red control line on the right side - one line, plus a number of weird shadowy spottings all over the rest of the result window, which looked as if someone had dropped a brush with grey watercolour onto it.

Maybe the mysterious described ‘minutes’ were not completely over yet and the test just needed more time, Lando wondered? Because they, in their impatient anticipation, had maybe had a bad sense for time? - Or did it perhaps have to do with that he had not kept the test at a flat surface the whole time, but had out of reflex shoved into his pocket when Carlos had knocked, as he only remembered now…?!

“Lemme see!”

Before Lando could have figured any of these uncertainties out himself, the older one made a grabby hand towards the test; and the Omega handed it over without protest, also. More like it, he was glad that the said would take a look at it also.

Because whenever Carlos took something in his hands, you could be sure that the Alpha had everything under control and that things would just work - no matter wether it was about driving in the McLaren simulator, changing a burnt-out light bulb or talking to the downstairs-neighbour who, for some time, always used to smoke in the house’s elevator.

Especially in the last case, Lando had been very grateful for Carlos’ Alpha-abilities. Cause although also some of the other tenants had complained about the smell, the smoker had not bothered to change his behaviour - not until the Spaniard had had a serious word with him about it. And in the end, Carlos had really managed to talk him out of tainting the staircase-area, and to instead please restrict his smoking to his own rooms. Which Lando was still very glad over, because it had really smelled disgustingly whenever they had come home from work

However, above anything else, the Omega really needed him to fix this here right now; no matter how, because the unclear result unsettled him even more than already - and so did the unexpected critical look on Carlos’ face, when the said looked back and forth between wrapping and the test itself a few times, as if he was re-checking something…

“What does that mean…?”, Lando asked, with his voice thin from anxiety -

To which Carlos just gave off an indignant snort. “That means that the test is crap!” He shot the package with all the unreadable gibberish printed on it and the flawed testing strip a frustrated look. “Where did you get that, even?!”

And for a moment, he seemed to be really angry about that the younger one had bought such a rubbish test and had maybe not done it right, and that they were not any wiser now than before. But when Lando confessed to him with another bashful shrug how he had ordered it online during yesterday’s lunch break, because he had been too shy to go and buy one at the drug store, the Spaniard’s features softened with empathy again on the spot.

“Oh mi cielo…”, he murmured and without hesitation reached out his arm to pull him into his side, to make him set all close next to him on the bathtub edge. “Sorry, I- I didn’t mean it like that…”, he whispered into the wild mob of his hair as he planted an apologetic kiss onto the curls.

It was only a small caress, but nonetheless, in his current constitution it felt just so very good, which was why Lando gratefully leant against his boyfriend’s shoulder and closed his eyes under the touch.

“I know…”, he whispered back - and he really did.

He could feel it in the loving tenderness of this half-way embrace, and also hear it in his voice that Carlos’ anger was actually only aimed at the poor quality of the test itself, not at him, and that the Alpha was only very tensed, too. But that he didn’t mean to snap at him.

Even more: If he had been able to look inside the Spaniard’s mind in this moment, Lando would have seen that Carlos could never be seriously angry at him. Especially not for something so small like that. Quite the contrary, it made Carlos’ heart clench that the Omega had not told him about his ‘problem’ earlier, but had tried to solve it all alone.

“It’s just… why didn’t you say anything?”, he wanted to know. “I would have gone and bought one for you. A proper one…”, as he added - and Lando could well-imagine that on the spot. No, Carlos would definitely not be too timid to walk into the next pharmacy and ask for a pregnancy test. More like it, he would probably ask the lady at the counter for advice and discuss with her which product would be the most suitable in their situation. As the protective Alpha that he was, he would make it his personal mission to find the ultimate best test there was available.

And a part of Lando had probably also known, or at least reckoned that already before, like, deep inside - but still, he just couldn’t have brought himself to tell him. Because despite better knowledge, there had been this small voice at the back of his head that had been scared that the older one might not react with so much sympathy. That he’d be angry, or disappointed, or both.

Now, in hindsight, with Carlos by his side, he didn’t know anymore either why he’d thought that to be possible for even a second. Anxiety does remarkable things to your mind.

So with another shrug, he only mumbled a half-loud “Didn’t want to bother you if it’s nothing…” for an answer; but luckily still loud enough for Carlos to catch it. And that the Alpha also got the unspoken addition of “And I was scared of your reaction if it’s not nothing…” behind these words, was showing when he in response let out a sigh of something between affection, reproach and loving amusement and let his hand stroke up and down Lando’s arm again.

“Don’t you think that I should bother, if…?”, he gave back calmly. “I mean, it takes two to…!” He meaningfully tilted his head to the side. To make a baby.

And despite the comforting intention of Carlos’ objection, the thought caused the Omega to shudder involuntarily. Was… was there really A BABY in his belly? - or, to be exact: Something that would grow into a baby within the next weeks?!

The imagination felt so unbelievable and so far too huge for his mind that Lando became dizzy in his head.

And as if he had read his thoughts, or felt his shivering, Carlos as if by command pulled him a bit closer into his side again, still soothingly stroking his arm. “We’re in this together, cariño, okay? I mean, that is what partners are there for, no? To share both the highs and the worries. The easy and the…” - he carefully chose his words - “…tough moments.”

And no matter how good this sounded in his ears and how much he wanted to believe his boyfriend, Lando answered only with a mixture of a shrug and a nod, though. A wordless ‘maybe…?’ - because he really wasn’t sure. (Admittedly, he didn’t know anything for sure anymore in this moment.)

Luckily, Carlos was convinced enough for his part, too:

“Oh definitely”, he confirmed. “So, don’t worry. Now I will be there for you and do whatever I can to… help - …but, uhm, I think this one is not gonna get us anywhere…”, he added as his gaze fell back onto the rubbish-y testing strip, that he was still holding in his other hand, and its blurry results window. The Alpha looked at it for a second, and then curtly leant forward — without taking his arm off Lando’s shoulders — and threw the piece of plastic plus its wrapping directly into the little dust bin underneath the sink.

Much to Lando’s surprise, though, who instantly made big eyes.

“W-what are we gonna do now?”, he asked; and he couldn’t hide that his voice was shaking a little from the anxiety that was on the rise yet again inside him. Cause although the test had not helped them any further, it nevertheless felt even worse to give up on this little straw. Like, as if they were now standing there without any plan-

But, as it turned out, Carlos had one: “We’re gonna do a professional test!”, he meant with a confident, loving look - and when he said ‘we’, the older one really meant ‘we’:

As it once more showed to Lando, his boyfriend was not the type of person to promise their help in empty phrases and then not do anything. No, he was someone that you and especially he, as his beloved cariño, could always rely on, and who would do everything for the people close to his heart. And as such (and because he was running late anyway), Carlos without hesitation reached for his phone and called in sick at work first of all - for both himself and Lando as well directly, so that they wouldn’t call the younger one next to jump in for him today.

Finally it was paying off for once that they had never made a secret of their relationship at work, and also not of the fact that they lived together! Cause like so, it sounded actually very authentic at least in Lando’s ears when Carlos told Andreas on the phone that something must have been wrong with their dinner last night, because they were both not feeling good this morning.

As the Spaniard had learnt from his former Renault-colleague Nico, a food-poisoning was easy to fake and at the same time hard to prove. Plus, it most often was also over again quickly, so that nobody would wonder much when they’d turn up again tomorrow and wouldn’t look massively sick - which was the plan after all, to go back to work tomorrow.

Of course Carlos couldn’t promise that with too much confidence, in order to not make Andreas suspicious. But he still assured their boss that they’d go to the doctor now and would most likely feel better again after a day of rest.

Truth be told, despite the anything except easy situation, Lando nonetheless felt somewhat guilty when Carlos had ended the call and they were now on sick-leave without actually being sick. But since they would only miss this one day, it hopefully wouldn’t affect the pre-season preparations too much.

Also, it eased his guilty conscience a bit that it wasn’t a complete lie what Carlos had said: Because the both of them were for real not feeling good this morning, only for other reasons than Andreas thought now. And they would also really go and see a doctor - just not in order to get a prescription for medicines against nausea, but to take a blood test from him, to see wether he was pregnant… or not.

Admittedly, Lando was very glad that Carlos willingly made that call as well - cause the younger one probably would have just bursted into tears in his desperation, when the receptionist on the other end of the line said that their schedule was (of course) already full for today. Although all he had to do was sitting back on the toilet lid again and nervously watched his boyfriend taking the call, the Omega still felt his throat tighten up in panic when he could hear it through the phone-speaker how the nurse said very nicely, but at the same time very determinedly that the earliest appointment that she could offer them was tomorrow afternoon.

Causing him to exchange an anxious look with Carlos. Tomorrow was definitely way too long to wait!

But fortunately, the Alpha thought the same and just made a calming hand gesture towards him, forming a silent ‘No worry’ with his lips, before he friendly explained to the nurse again why they needed this test so badly today. That it was an absolute emergency, emotionally.

And although he was keeping his nerves definitely more than Lando, who was sitting there like a picture of misery and biting down on his lip full of nervousness, the younger one could well-hear it in Carlos’ voice that he was strained as well - but so could apparently also the nurse, because after a short pause and a noise that sounded a bit like a sympathetic sigh, she said that she’d see what she could do to squeeze them into the schedule through the speaker.

And so it happened that, only a little later, the two of them were sitting in the pretty packed waiting room of Dr. Alvarez, their A/B/O-strician of choice.

In all honesty, Lando couldn’t remember having ever been this nervous. It was even worse than during his first visit here, when he had undergone his first omega-logical routine-check-up and had not quite known what to expect. Whereas today, he wished for nothing more than that he would only be here for a routine exam.

Not only because he by now knew that these weren’t half as horrific as he had first reckoned - but even more because a standard precautional check-up seemed way more harmless than this situation that had brought them here today. Today, everything felt so much more serious than back then.

Which was probably also why the waiting time passed by so, so slowly: About every two or three minutes, Lando’s eyes all by themselves darted up to the clock on the wall, in the belief that hours must have passed since he’d last looked - but instead, every time, the shorter hand of the clock had barely moved forward. Of course the Briton was aware that they had to be patient, and that he should rather be grateful for that he could come here at all today - but goddamnit, after half an hour of forcibly sitting idle, he was at the end of his nerves with his inner restlessness!

And the two heavily pregnant Omegas, that among others were with them in the waiting room, certainly didn’t make it better either, quite the opposite. Lando really had to force himself to not permanently stare at them and how they pretty much the whole time gently had their hands on their bulging bellies, round as a ball, or exchanging deep looks with their partners next to them, obviously full of love and joy over that they were becoming parents.

And although he was aware that nothing was proven for sure yet, Lando couldn’t stop thinking about wether he would soon be sitting like this here as well. As an expecting parent. With a baby in his belly.

He only realised how fidgety he had been kneading his fingers, when Carlos wordlessly covered his hands with his own. Wether he had maybe read his thoughts or caught his looks over to the happy couples, but the older one gave his fingers a gentle squeeze and calmingly let his thumb stroke over his skin, to ease his agitation. And to remind him that he was not alone in this.

Because he really was not. Even if they had not addressed it yet what they would do if…! - from how his boyfriend was handling the whole affair ever since the moment in the bathroom, there was no doubt that he would not leave him alone with it, no matter what would come.

That reassurance took a bit of the weight off Lando’s shoulders.

Nevertheless, when finally, finally his name was called up, the Omega jumped straight to his feet as if a wasp had stung him and rushed over to the door with hasty steps, following the nurse as quick as he could into the laboratory area. 

Against all time pressure, she was really very nice to them. She asked Lando some questions about his constitution, including how many days he was late and when around the last relevant intercourse had been, and then explained the procedure to him.

Like most people, the Omega wasn’t a fan of needles. He wouldn’t stay that he was particularly scared of them, like, that he’d faint at the bare view of a syringe or anything - he just didn’t like the feeling of something piercing through his skin. But even though he still kept on holding tightly onto Carlos’ hand with the other side when the nurse took the blood sample from him, the younger one’s thoughts were rotating way more around the result of this test than the procedure itself.

Because now it suddenly was so… close. The certainty within their grasp. The results about to be revealed, once and for all - and from there, there would be no going back…!

No wonder that his stomach started to rumble and grumble in unease - but that could have also been due to the stinging sensation of the cannula in the crook of his arm.

Luckily, the nurse was done only a little moment later, withdrew the needle and gave Lando a band aid for the puncture point, before she asked them to take a seat in the waiting room again - cause as she told them, the testing would now take a few minutes, but that she would come back to them as soon as the results were due.

The irony of that the nurse also did not define any clearer around how many minutes it would take, did not go unnoticed by Lando. Maybe that was a thing about pregnancy tests. The great vagueness before the final certainty.

However, this time, the waiting period did not re-deploy them to a place outside of time and space. Thanks to the big clock on the wall of the waiting room, Lando could keep track of every passing minute, following round after round that the smallest hand turned. And after twenty-one very long of these and about thirty seconds, they were finally told the result that the Omega had been hoping for for days:

Not pregnant.

He was not pregnant!

However, because Lando was so stirred up and so desperate to know for absolutely-100%-sure, the nurse kindly also arranged a spontaneous ultra-sound with the doctor for him, just for his own reassurance - but there really was nothing. No matter how cautiously the A/B/O-trician scanned his lower belly with the transducer, there was no egg cell living its best life all comfy in his uterus to be found; no beginning of a mini-version of them two. Not one suspicious pixel on the monitor. Nothing.

Lando was really not the slightest bit pregnant.

Which, although he now had it black on white twice, nonetheless surprised the young Omega a lot - cause he had the whole time kind of expected that he was…? He was late for eight days, after all! And his cycle had always been regular before that little mishap in the tub!

However, while Lando was sorting his clothes again, Dr. Alvarez explained to them that the ovulation could sometimes delay under great stress - for a few days, or even a week and more. And when the Briton thought about how busy they had both been over the last weeks, in the typical hustle and bustle before a new season, this sounded unexpectedly probable.

“So you say that I have not been at the end of my fertile phase then, but that it had not even started?”, he asked, to which the doctor nodded calmly, as it was the middle-aged man’s pleasant nature.

“Seems like it, yes.”

“And the bulging?”, Lando just blurted out, cause - even if this explanation sounded indeed very logical, he still couldn’t fully… believe it yet? That it had all only been a reaction of his body to the latest stress? Cause he had clearly seen the beginning curving of his belly in the steamed mirror yesterday, after he had taken a shower!

But also for that, Dr. Alvarez had an explanation: “That looks just like normal bloating to me.” - which, as he pointed out, was a very common side-effect before the bleeding, and could also occur increasedly under stress - and as Lando knew himself from before various testing situations in his school days and sometimes even before karting races, the digestive system was in fact very sensitive to subconscious tensions.

“In any case, you are not pregnant, Mr. Norris. No worries”, the A/B/O-strician stated again with a friendly, reassuring smile. Obviously, he had been able to count one and one together from how nervous and anxious the two had arrived here, that it had not been their intention to get pregnant.

Which was also why the medic recommended taking heat suppressants to Lando again. So that a situation like this one couldn’t happen again and they wouldn’t have to worry anymore about delayed cycles and the infamous one sperm.

However, the Omega didn’t really listen anymore. Just couldn’t. Pretty much from one second to another, he felt as if all the energy had suddenly left his body now that he had certainty that there was nothing growing in his belly - leaving him too tired to refuse this option and explain the reasons again for why he had not wanted to take hormones so far.

Instead, he just absently nodded to the (surely well-meant) suggestion and took the prescription paper like in trance, before Carlos and him got up and said their goodbyes to the doctor - not without once more thanking him for squeezing them in so spontaneously, of course, which they were aware you could not take for granted. They were really lucky that Dr. Alvarez and his team had been so understanding and had recognised the urgency of their concern, and then done everything in their power to relieve them off their worries-

However, when they left the doctor’s office and stepped out into the cold of this February (now) midmorning again, Lando felt rather weird. With the adrenaline subsiding, he was shivering badly on the inside and his knees were all wobbly and weak - but that could have also been because they had not eaten anything for breakfast yet; them both not. Carlos, because he preferred to do his morning run on an empty stomach, and the Omega himself, because he’d been far too anxious to get anything down his throat.

But also after a stop at the next bakery, where Carlos bought them each some nice hot-chocolate-to-go and a sandwich, he didn’t feel much different. More sated, yes, and also warmed up from the inside, thanks to the nicely warm beverage - but the feeling of incredible relief, that he would have expected over not being pregnant, did not come.

As it seemed, his brain was still busy to process that the whole worries of the last week had really only been his mental cinema running wild. A false alarm, nothing more.

And how much it really was one, showed in the late afternoon when — as if to ironically top the whole story off — Lando’s bleeding came.

“So, the whole stress for nothing, hm?”, Carlos resumed as the young Omega cuddled up into his side on the couch, and put his arm around him. But there was no reproach in the older one’s voice or the like. More like it, he said it in a loving, comforting way, which was exactly what Lando needed.

Because he still felt kind of weird after this day. The whole day itself felt weird, in hindsight: In the morning hours, time had been passing by so, so agonisingly slow for Lando; like thick, gooey porridge; from the moment that he had woken up, over waiting for Carlos to leave for his run until when he had locked himself in the bathroom, to face his fears and do the test - followed by the by far longest seconds and minutes that he’d ever experienced in his life during the confrontation with Carlos and them waiting together for the test to be ready.

And from then on, everything had happened like in double-speed: As if the universe had realised that it had accidentally left the setting dial for the general time-speed on the lowest level and had needed to make up for that, the doctor’s visit, the further testing there and the rest of the day had been rushing by in almost the blink of an eye in hindsight.

By now, it was (winter-typically) already getting dark outside and that one golf tournament was playing on TV, that they had originally wanted to watch together as soon as they would be back from work. But even if they now actually had only all the more the right to call this a day and enjoy a relaxed, nice evening together and some good sports than after a normal day in the office - right now, Lando just couldn’t pay attention to the happenings on the screen. Absently stroking over his — as always during his bleeding — slightly cramping belly, the Omega again and again got lost in his thoughts.

But as it turned out, Carlos apparently was just the same and also his attention was not really on the modern flatscreen on the wall, but even more on his cariño right next to him - who flinched badly when he all of a sudden felt two fingers sliding under his chin and Carlos’ carefully turned his face over, to make him look at him. 

“Hey…”, the Spaniard whispered, with the brown of his eyes shimmering with warmth and concern. “You okay?”

The question caught Lando totally off-guard. So abruptly torn away from his wandering thoughts, he answered with a reflexive shrug first - because he really didn’t know himself wether he was okay or no. But then he changed to nod.

“Mhmm… just- …I think, for the next time, I have enough of romantic bathtub sex, so… please think of something else for next month, okay?”, he forced himself to give back, in the attempt to overplay his unease over that Carlos had caught him so off-guard and to light up the somehow still strangely oppressed mood between them - and with success, luckily, cause the Alpha’s lips did indeed curl into a faint smirk.

“Yeah, me too…”, he agreed and wrapped his arm tighter around Lando’s shoulders, pulling him in a little - and together with the way how he said it, it almost sounded like an apology.

The older one left a short pause, before he carefully, as not to bonk their heads together, nodded towards the little box that was lying on the table in front of them - still right where Lando had put it down when they had come home and then had not touched it anymore. “But with that, something like today won’t happen again.”

The Omega’s gaze fell back onto the container of the heat-suppressant pills, too.

They had filled the prescription right after their on-the-go-breakfast in another stopover at the next pharmacy. And how good, also: Cause as Lando knew from Max and Sacha and how also the (written in much better English) inlay would have told him (if he had taken it out and read it yet), you were supposed to start with the intake on the first day of the bleeding - so that it was perfect timing now, kind of.

From today on, they could be free of the risk of more such blunders and uncertainties; or at least as long as Lando would stick to the intake-instructions. But these were pretty simple: One pill every day at the same time, and beware of gastro-intestinal diseases, since they could disturb the contraceptive effect.

No, on that regard, you could do far less wrong than with condoms, which could slip off, or tear, or… could not be manufactured correctly, or otherwisely damaged… and… yeah. Just had much more potential for mishaps than the popular heat-suppressant pill.

But despite this knowledge, the Omega didn’t move. Didn’t lean forward and reach for the package, to press out the first pill of the blister. Nor got up to get himself a glass of water. Not even to read the package insert on it again.

He just sat there motionlessly and stared at the box.

Which obviously didn’t go unnoticed by Carlos right next to him.

“Look…”, the older one began gently, taking a deep breath. “I know Dr. Alvarez said that they won’t have an effect on your sporting performance or anything. And that you can also just try and refrain from it again if you don’t get on well with them. But, if you don’t feel good about it and don’t want to take them at all, then this is also fine, cariño… you don’t have to do this, or anything, okay?”

Against his will, Lando felt his cheeks blush over his boyfriend’s words.

Cause even if he knew that he didn’t have to fear anything from Carlos on that regard, it still made him uncomfortable whenever someone was able to see through his walls and detect his vulnerable spots like that. His insecurities and incapacities.

But because it was Carlos, after all, his words at the same time also really warmed the Omega’s heart. Despite the embarrassment, it was just a very sweet reminder, to know that his boyfriend had his back either way, no matter what would happen, and that he had sympathy for his worries and fears - but nonetheless, the younger one shook his head.

“No, it’s not - that…”, he gave back - or at least not that alone. Cause yes, he still wasn’t 100% convinced of these pills, but…

Carlos, who had obviously noticed the vagueness of his answer, gave his cariño a meaningful look. What then…? - and because his mien was so full of honest interest and there was so much… trustworthiness, and reliableness in his eyes — and maybe also because of his hormonal exceptional state —, Lando couldn’t hold back any longer, but just came out with what was on his heart:

“You know, it’s… I-…”, he slowly began, searching for the right words of how to put this. “…the whole time, I thought I’d be relieved when there is nothing.” - he briefly nodded down to his belly - “Like… obviously. But- now I have to say that, uhm- I kinda… like the thought if there, you know- …would be something… not right now, of course”, as he hastily added for clarification.

Cause - not that the Omega could seriously imagine that he might not want to be with Carlos anymore one day or that he could feel more for anybody else than he felt for Spaniard, or vice versa. But still, they were both so young after all. Far too young to commit hard. And having kids was easily the biggest commitment that one could take on in life, ever!

They were supposed to enjoy their carelessness and have fun and just… find their way first, right? At least that was what everybody was constantly saying.

Including gaining a foothold in their profession and focussing on their career. Oh, especially that! Cause no matter how stressful the last weeks of pre-season-preparation had been (and how exhausting the following few would be as well), Lando nonetheless really enjoyed his job. He loved to work for this so famous, traditional racing team, and to do his part to help to bring them forward on the track again; this newly approaching season as well as the last three before. And since they were on a promising, good way to get this so well-known name back to where it belongs, Lando did absolutely not want to drop out of this journey for paternity leave in the next time, if he was honest.

So, no - right now was definitely not the right moment for something to be there in his belly.

“But just- in general…”, he continued timidly. “Like- I never thought that I would want kids, but- I like the idea to one day have a child with… you…”

That last word was barely more than a whisper; and the Omega almost didn’t dare to look at his boyfriend once it had left his lips and there was only… silence. Apart from his own wildly racing heart and the sounds from the TV that was uncaredly playing in the background on half volume, the living room seemed to have gone dead quiet all of a sudden, and the tension in the air was almost palpable.

Then tension that his so daring words had put there.

Carlos let out a shaking sigh. “God, Lando…!”, he whispered under his breath; and somehow, the way how he said it sounded in Lando’s ears as if his boyfriend found his emotional onrush stupid and irrational - and rightly so, cause at the second thought, it actually really was stupid and irrational, and absolutely misplaced!

Damn it, why had he started on about that, even?!

They were together for quite a while now, yes, but certainly not long enough to seriously discuss having kids! Heck, they were not even married yet, nor had they made plans to change that in the next time so far! Such steps were just too big for a comparably rather fresh relationship like theirs. 

Despite all love and affection, they only knew each other for roughly three years now and had just moved in together last summer; in a spontaneous action when Lando had to abandon his old apartment due to mould infestation and Carlos had curtly offered that he could move in with him then. And the very most of the time, their living-together also worked really well, but nonetheless, they were still figuring this next step in their relationship out, after all -

And now he had in all seriousness thrown the kids-topic into it, really?! Damn it, that must be the hormones that were — typically for his bleeding — going crazy in his body right now!

“Sorry, I- that was weird, forget it-”, Lando quickly tried to retreat in damage limitation, with his cheeks burning hot from shame over himself. But ere he had properly finished the sentence, nor could have thought of what he could say for his excuse, there were suddenly two hands cupping his face - and he was looking directly into a pair of very familiar, brown eyes. Very watery, brown eyes, to be precise.

“Not at all”, Carlos pressed out with a husky voice. “That was not at all weird. And neither am I gonna forget it - cause…” He swallowed bravely. “…I feel the same way…!”

Now it was Lando who lost control of his facial expression. He looked at his boyfriend with big eyes of astonishment. “…yeah?”

Maybe a part of him still believed that he had misunderstood something, even though he was very sure of what he heard - but either way, Carlos nodded, the brown of his eyes glistening visibly moved. “Y-yeah!” He gifted him one of his precious Carlos-smiles. “I mean, I kinda always knew that I like kids and would love to have my own”, he explained. “But… there is no-one I would rather have them with than with you… I’d really love to start a family with you one day, cariño. Really, really a lot…”

And because this came so surprising that Lando was totally lost for words, he answered his boyfriend in the best and clearest way there was - namely with a kiss that said everything, full of love and stunned happy.

So that in the end, this little false alarm turned out to rather be a very right wake-up-call for the two of them. Or a litte reminder alert, more like it: Namely of that they both were on the same page for their relationship and had similar plans for their future. Their future together, above anything else: Cause as this day had once more highlighted, they — despite the early age of their relationship — were certain about each other and wanted nothing more than to spend life together.

So it was no wonder that they eventually left the heat-suppressants-pills untouched and sticked to using condoms as before - saying to themselves that, if a mishap should happen, then that’s how it should be. And after some more time, because there simply had been no blunders, they left the rubber away as well and started to actively try.

Which marked the beginning of a very exciting new chapter in their relationship. Of course they were aware that it sometimes took longer, sometimes shorter for a couple, and they had reminded each other of it countless times, like, that it maybe wouldn’t work right away and that they should not set their hopes too high - but as it most often was in life, you worry way too much about potential ‘what if?’s in advance, while the good things happen all by themselves.

So that it was only shortly later — and three years after this fateful day in February — that the two of them were sitting in the bathroom of their freshly renovated home together, eagerly waiting for the testing strip (a top-quality one this time, from the market-leading brand) to develop its result - but different to that said morning, when Lando this time reached out his hand to take a look at it together with his newly-wed husband, there was no weird watercolour spotting in the display. And neither was his absent bleeding a case of a false alarm this time, nor a reason to panic.

No, this time, there were two bright and proud red lines on the test, and when Dr. Alvarez the day after showed them the little heartbeat of their to-be-firstborn child on the ultrasound monitor, they could have not been any happier about it. ♥