Chapter Text
Dandelion (Dotae)
I like Lee Taeyong.
Doyoung froze with the realization. Lee Taeyong is his friend and a senior with a music major in the university. They became roommates for 2 years when he was in the second year and separated when Taeyong moved to his apartment after he became a senior.
It's a roller coaster ride since Doyoung never felt these feelings before. He only chooses to attend class without a plan after passing the exam in the university. He also takes general courses, so he cannot decide what career he likes to accomplish.
"Doyoung, I'm so tired after making a presentation. Can you recommend a coffee shop near the university?" Taeyong grumbled and adjusted his phone since the younger one sounded like just woken up from a slumber.
"Are you kidding me hyung? It's five in the morning! I have an exam in my first subject! I need more sleep." Doyoung whimpered, his voice was hoarse yet gentle in the ears.
"I'm sorry Doie, I seriously needed to drink caffeine but I forgot I don't have stocks anymore. I've been busy and I'm here at Jaehyun's dorm. Finishing the presentation. He helps me with one article, he is sleeping already... I can drive to the nearest shop but I don't have to search for anything open with this godly hour." Taeyong explained but Doyoung doesn't have it. He was near cursing his senior but held his tongue.
"I'll send you an address. Don't call me for 24 hours after this." Doyoung ended the call afterward, he sent an address to Taeyong and turned his phone to 'do not disturb' before coming back to sleep.
Doyoung is trying to get more sleep but his brain is already awake. He groans frustratedly and without any warning, Doyoung gets up and walks to his bathroom to do his morning routine.
Doyoung luckily has no roommate after Taeyong but he knows it's only temporary. After taking a bath and looking at the clock, Doyoung came back to his bed like his weird routine but ignored his phone.
Taeyong has a habit of calling him whenever he needs something. It became their routine when they were still roommates. Going out late together, eating outside, listening to Taeyong's music, and many more. He knew that Taeyong likes to drink coffee in the dawn and he spent nearly two weeks finding a 24 hours coffee shop near their university so Taeyong could go there whenever he has urges just like today.
Doyoung's first impression of Taeyong is a hyung who likes to clean. Taeyong helps him adjust to college. Always taking care of him. Taeyong likes to share stories and with Doyoung's personality that likes to listen, they hit it off.
However, the adversity between them just made Doyoung comprehend the weird beating of his heart whenever Taeyong is near. He finds himself dazed by Taeyong boba's eyes, staring at him as if he was the most interesting person in the world. It gives him chills, a kind of goosebumps that renders his heart run in the wild. He cannot control it and let his muscles freeze. It was overwhelming and Doyoung didn't understand it at first. He denied admitting what he felt. He is not ready. Taeyong is like a brother... or so he thought.
It changed one afternoon when he heard Jaehyun talking with Jungwoo. He was in the deserted part of the library. He is cramming and it is embarrassing when Doyoung is having a tough time with one of his subjects. He lay down in the deep corner of massive shelves, hiding his thin body so people could not see that he was busy memorizing. Doyoung could only concentrate in a quiet environment and he discovers the hiding place after multiple periods of spending time in the library. He is tired of memorizing and trying to sleep. He has his black jacket that could cover half of his body, regardless, at that moment, Doyoung also hides his face with books surrounding him. It was quiet until he heard voices.
"Hyung, it's your chance!" Jungwoo whispered with a tone of excitement. Doyoung opens his eyes when he hears his classmate Jungwoo's voice, not sure about the other voice but he recognizes it when it is spoken.
"I like Lee Taeyong alright but he only asked me for help! It doesn't mean anything!" Said the voices that made Doyoung freeze.
"Of course hyung! That's why I'm saying it's your chance! Doyoung hyung even said that Taeyong hyung is single!" Jungwoo in a slight higher whisper. Doyoung knew that Jaehyun was blushing based on the conversation. They remain silent afterward.
"S-Should I confess?" Jaehyun mutters in a low voice but the library is silent and it helps Doyoung to hear their conversation.
Doyoung's heart started to hammer out in his chest. He could feel the cold sweat forming in his temple but Doyoung is too frozen to wipe it. The pain started to merge and Doyoung didn't know what was happening. Hot tears quickly stream down on his face. He cannot move, it's like he was chained, and the only thing he could hear is Jaehyun's confession. He likes Lee Taeyong.
It takes him 3 days to admit that Doyoung also has feelings for his senior. Maybe even before Taeyong moves out. He was calm saying his goodbye. However, for Doyoung, it breaks him. But after hearing Jaehyun's confession to the library, he finally realizes his feelings.
After class, Doyoung was called by his professor to help her classify the files. It was a mini room with lots of archive folders, books, and papers that were stored at the annex building. That part of the university building is quiet and mostly, near to the field where students spend their outdoor classes. Doyoung sighed after realizing that his professor tricked him and just wanted him to clean some shelves so she can store more of the faculty files. It's not supposed to be his work because he knew that the student council was the one who manages it. He wanted to pout and complain and called Yuta to do it instead but Doyoung knew it was fruitless. He also likes her anyway because she is kind and good at teaching. Doyoung decided to do the work quietly before he went home.
"Hey! What happened last night? You punk!" Doyoung flinched when he heard voices from outside the window. He frowned after confirming that students were hanging out at the annex building. So, the rumors of seniors goofing around this area are true, he thought.
"Stop, Johnny. What the fuck?" Doyoung blinked and almost dropped the papers he was holding after hearing Taeyong's voice. His knees started to wobble and he sat on the cold ground holding his breath.
"Man, I've known your crush on Jaehyun since last year! You fucker! Did you confess to him?" Johnny muttered, smiling mischievously.
"W-What? I'm not... Alright, alright. I like him." Taeyong finally says in a low voice.
"Shit. Don't act like a teenager in front of me! You've been pining over him since, like forever! I thought you already confessed last night! You even made him help you with your presentation." Johnny mumbles, his voice is teasing.
"Stop! I'm too nervous! And Mr. Choi recommends him to me!" Taeyong retorted.
"Whatever man, just confess already!"
"Hmm, you know that there is something too."
"Jeez. You're terrible."
The conversation shifted to another topic but Doyoung's ears only heard everything that he thought mattered. His lips quivered as he tried to breathe normally after spending his time concealing it. His heart beats faster. Hastier than the time he heard Jaehyun admitting his feelings for Taeyong.
"So... They like each other?" Doyoung finally mumbled.
He is so embarrassed... Doyoung feels like he was stabbed straight in his chest. He plans to tell him before Jaehyun... He thought that he had a chance since Doyoung is close to Taeyong. They were inseparable and Taeyong acted as if he needed Doyoung in his life. He really really believes he has a chance or even thinks that it was okay to confess. Yet fate is helping him... saving his ass from embarrassing moments.
What am I supposed to do now?
Doyoung stays in the room for a very long time. It's already dark outside and all of his plans tonight were canceled. Even his supposed hang out with Taeyong. His phone keeps ringing since a while ago but Doyoung remains in his seat, guarded and weak. He cannot regain energy from his lower knees.
From Hyung Tae:
Doie, where are you?
Are you busy?
Wooohhh Doyoung-ah, I thought we were going to eat :(
Call me.
-End-
13 miscalls.
Doyoung doesn't know how he went back to his dorm but he just realizes he was at the front door. Doyoung hand trembled, tears started to stream down on his face, messing his entire well being but the fucking door is still locked and his keys aren't working!
"Fucked!" Doyoung curses. He feels miserable, why? Why now? Fuck!
"Doie?" Doyoung froze after someone called him. He heard the steps nearing him and Doyoung slightly panicked. He lowered his head and thanked his dark hoodie and a mask covering his face so that they wouldn't see that he was crying.
"Why are you here? I thought Taeyong said that you'll accompany him?" Johnny asked curiously.
"click" Finally, the key works, and Doyoung quickly opens his door.
"I forgot hyung. I'm so busy doing the project. It's due tonight. Can you tell him, for me? I seriously forgot hyung. Knowing Taeyong hyung, he will sulk and won't leave me alone." Doyoung checks his phone and Taeyong is calling him again.
"Jeez... Look." Doyoung shows his phone to Johnny and the elder nodded with understanding.
"Alright, I will just tell him that you're busy, and I see you studying. I call Jaehyun instead." Johnny got his phone and didn't see the pain flashes in Doyoung's eyes when he dialed Jaehyun's number. He quickly turns off his phone and says goodbye and thanks to Johnny before closing his door. He didn't hear the elder's reply because Johnny is busy talking with Jaehyun already.
Doyoung has so many decisions in his life and every time he makes one. He knew that he was sure of it. He knows his worth and his place in every situation he is in. Nonetheless, Liking Taeyong made him uncertain. He is not beautiful, to begin with, he is mediocre, a flower that has no fragrance but holds its spot. Someone who could stay in place to be remembered. Doyoung is someone who isn't remarkable and easily forgotten.
But...
Taeyong made him overlook that. His feelings for Taeyong blossom without his permission, like a breeze of summertime. Making him feel the tenderness of the sunlight. Taeyong notices even a few details about him. He lets him understand and love himself with his insecurities. Doyoung likes Taeyong for bringing the best out of him.
Doyoung knew that Taeyong knew him best and it was only a matter of time before Taeyong found out his feelings. No one in their circle of friends realizes it yet. They were guarded with Doyoung's presence, in fact, Doyoung never shares his feelings with others aside from Taeyong and no one will ever read him with the friends he has.
Jaehyun is a sweet friend. He is also close with Doyoung, he studied together before and Doyoung is being honest, Jaehyun is a good person. He is a sweetheart in caring for him and Doyoung likes Jaehyun's personality. He is like one of the flowers that are pretty and have an attractive fragrance. Someone who is easily spotted and continuously be like.
Doyoung already knows that he needs to give up on Taeyong.
He needs to leave because he has no chance and he would rather die than go in between them.
Doyoung made a decision.
"Hello, aunt?" Doyoung's voice is hoarse but he is done crying. Maybe next time but not now that he is busy and has things to do.
"Doyoung dear? Why are you calling me at this time?" His aunty asked, Doyoung curses internally after realizing the time difference. It's currently 1:00 AM in Auckland.
"Aunty, Can you arrange a flight right now? I-I explain it to you but I need to leave the country. Please." Doyoung pleaded, moving faster as he got his bag and his luggage.
"Did something happen?" His Aunty's voice was serious.
"Yes. I'm sorry."
"I will send someone."
The call ended and Doyoung is thankful that he only has a few things in the dorm. His phone is on and the call died down minutes ago. Taeyong must be with Jaehyun right now, having the date of his life. Doyoung gulp, he will not cry.
After fifteen minutes, there is a knock on the door. He opens it and sees two men wearing a suit and bow to him. Doyoung nodded his head and before he went with them, he order to clean his room and get his remaining property that was left behind. The man who names himself Andy nodded his head and just bowed before getting his phone to call someone.
The weather is cold in Korea, especially in Seoul. It's mid-February and Doyoung does not forget his scarp. It was Taeyong's gift for his birthday and a coincidence that he got it in his closet and wore it when he pleaded tonight.
Doyoung sighted the car near their building. It was a foreign car owned by his Aunty. They walked to the car and Doyoung sighed, glancing at his dorm for the last time before going inside.
Doyoung texted his brother who is currently in New York that he will be having a vacation. Gongmyung did not reply but maybe he will later. Doyoung has no family aside from his Aunt and his brother. No one knew it from his friends aside from Taeil because, somehow, his brother is also friends with Taeil. Doyoung is very secretive and the accident that both of his parents took only brings him bad memories. Furthermore, he manages to keep it a secret from his friends and Taeil is not a nosy person.
The flight was quicker than he thought. He receives a call from his brother asking him about money if he has enough allowances and if he is comfortable. Doyoung never tells his reason for the sudden vacation but Gongmyung promises him a visit. He told his brother to not tell anyone about his whereabouts.
"Welcome dear," Doyoung's aunty hugged him gently and Doyoung's tight chest burst out after seeing the soft golden-brown eyes of his dearly Aunt.
"I'm sorry." Doyoung tears were falling while being hugged. He never felt so much pain after his parent's death but now, Doyoung needs someone who will comfort him. Someone who is close and will understand his feelings. Doyoung is very vulnerable and he knows that he will feel worse as the day comes. He falls asleep on the couch and his Aunt just sighed after wiping the lost tear that escaped from his nephew's cheeks. He dialed the school.
"What the fuck Johnny? You are not making sense!" Taeyong's face was grim, ready to punch someone when Yuta said that Doyoung is gone.
"I already checked it! They said Doyoung's guardian withdrew him! He quit school!" Johnny muttered in a stern voice.
"Guys calm down! Taeyong!" Yuta shouted they were in the empty classroom gathering when he was informed that Kim Doyoung quit school. He also texted Jungwoo and Jaehyun asking if they said that he did not come to class.
Taeyong is sulking because Doyoung did not answer his calls. He avoids texting him after being ditched last night. He asked Johnny to get Doyoung but the fucker told him that Doyoung is busy studying that he cannot come to their planned dinner.
Taeyong glares at Johnny but listens to Yuta. The class will start in 10 minutes and they need to move to another room but Taeyong is indignant. His face is red from controlled anger after Yuta told them that Doyoung is gone.
"I'm going to his dorm right now," Taeyong announced.
"What the hell Taeyong? It's our quiz to Mr. Noh! I can't fuck it out! Let's go later after that class!" Johnny scowled but Taeyong rolled his eyes and got his bag. The three of them storm while Johnny keeps signing. He is worried for Taeyong and Yuta is not having it too. Fuck life.
Taeyong opens the door with his duplicate key. The room stayed just like before but it was empty. Taeyong's eyes were bloodshot, his steps were heavy and the intense air surrounded them, taunting every breath they took.
The bedroom is empty and clean like someone who has never lived there before. The bathroom and trash were also clean. Even the secret drawer that Taeyong used when he was living with Doyoung was also empty. The kitchen is clean and smells new. It's different from the scents that Taeyong was used to. It smells heavy, not the sweet vanilla that Doyoung uses every time.
"Hyung? Is it true? Doyoung hyung left?" Jaehyun asked, tears in his eyes while Jungwoo also looked sad. Taeil is frowning in confusion.
They stay in the living room but Taeyong is not having it. He looked furious and the youngest was scared by Taeyong's frightening aura.
"I saw Doyoung yesterday but there's nothing strange. It was late but he was still in the library studying. He looks more tired though." Taeil commented after the long silence.
"We had plans yesterday but he never accepted my call. Fuck." Taeyong massages his temple, trying to remember what Doyoung liked before he disappeared.
"I... I met Doyoung last night." Johnny muttered after a while. Taeyong glared at him and Johnny instinctively stepped back.
"I swear Tae. I didn't do anything. He... But... He seems in distress. I don't know! I did not pay attention. He told me to call you because he will finish doing something, perhaps a project? I did not see his face because he was wearing a mask and a hoodie but his voice was hoarse! I thought because he was only tired. Shit! I know something is wrong with the way he speaks." Johnny said in dismay, he remained standing but the pressure from his friend did not give him ease.
"We don't really have a project right now aside from the exam," Jaehyun muttered, Jungwoo also nodded because he and Doyoung have the same class.
"Shit! Why would he disappear without telling us?" Yuta retorted, his cheeks were pink because of the tension.
"Fuck! Fuck! Johnny! Doyoung must be crying! I know he was! He only wears a mask when wants to hide something. Why didn't you tell me that something is off?" Taeyong's voice thundered in the room and Johnny felt so guilty after realizing Doyoung's habit. He knew it! He knows to himself that Doyoung was not fine when they met last night. Yet he ignores him.
"I'm sorry... God."
"For now, we need to ask his family. I only know that his brother is in New York." Taeyong mumbled after a long time.
"Then can we contact his parents? I can check it in the system." Yuta said and is about to get his phone but Taeil stops him.
"You didn't know? Doyoung's parents died in an accident. He only has his brother." Taeil frowned after seeing the shock from his friends.
"What?!"
Johnny, Yuta, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo were left speechless after hearing Taeil.
"He... He didn't tell me hyung." Taeyong muttered, his expression was wounded by the knowledge.
"Well, Doyoung takes it badly and it was never discussed since the accident. He was depressed and it took him a year before he finally went outside. Gongmyung arranged a psychiatrist for Doyoung. He cannot ride airplanes because it will only trigger his trauma. That's why he's staying in Korea while his brother is in New York and their other relatives." Taeil explained. He didn't mean to tell them but he knows that his friend's status right now will only cause them difficulty if he still kept it a secret.
"I didn't know! But Shit! I will call his brother." Taeyong said. His palms were sweating because of the sudden nervousness.
"I will call Gong Myung. Wait for a second." Taeil dialed the number and clicked the speaker.
"Hello?" Gong Myung's voice is a lot more gentle than they thought it would be.
"Yes. It's me Taeil."
"How can I help you, Taeil?" Gong Myung asked in a low voice. In this situation, Taeyong wanted to smile even for a bit. Gong Myung has a similar approach, like his brother, is gentle and kind.
"Yes. Where is Doyoung?" Taeil's voice is stern and cold. Jungwoo and Jaehyun gasp in surprise while Yuta raises his brow. Johnny is frowning while Taeyong remains unreadable.
"Hmm, I don't know." There was silence after and they saw how Taeil cheeks turned red. He glares at his phone and as if Gong Myung senses it, he speaks again.
"He called me and said he was on vacation... But you know my brother Taeil. He was crying, I will talk to you regarding that and I swear..." Taeyong blinks with the information but he keeps quiet.
"He told me not to tell anyone where he is even if he hadn't told me his location yet. I will know soon though but I have no plans of telling you jerk. However, I allowed you to look for him." Gong Myung said.
"I will look for him even without your permission Gong Myung," Taeil says, determined.
"You broke your promise, asshole." Jungwoo blinks after hearing Doyoung's brother curses Taeil. It's a TMI. He never met someone who could curse their Taeil hyung so naturally and still breathing.
"I know, I'm sorry."
Silence.
"Listen Taeil, I don't know what happened there but I'm certain that my brother will never come back."
The call ended just like that but the surrounding around them is still sensitive. Taeil cursed after a while and told them that Gong Myung was mad. He will not rat his brother and it's up to them to look for Doyoung without his help. Taeil also said that Doyoung must be overseas. He never explains how he knew but Taeil is certain that convinces them effortlessly.
"Yuta, I will file for absences to go to New York. I will fucking look for him. No one messes with me and still has their limbs." Taeyong taunted. His eyes were like a predator, he grin dangerously. Yuta and Johnny know at that moment.
Taeyong lost it.
End.