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Rachel has never been the type to struggle for words.
Words have always come easy to her - whether it be those that she strings together to be accompanied with a simple tilt of the head and a flirtatious smile to charm others, or the flowery language that makes up the monologues found in the many scripts she has studied.
It's difficult for her to admit that Max Caulfield is one of the few people she has met who challenges this fundamental aspect of herself.
Looking back, Chloe had always talked big about the mysterious Max, and by the time Rachel finally met the girl she had felt somewhat underwhelmed: Chloe Price, of all people, was left so torn up for all those years because of her? It seemed impossible that this was the same Max that Chloe had spoken of so often. This pale, thin, freckly, and doe-eyed girl that initially seemed unable to speak in anything but a halting near-whisper and afraid of meeting Rachel's eyes had once been attached at the hip with Chloe?
Rachel had quickly realised how wrong her first impression had been as she witnessed the hipster settle back into both Arcadia Bay and Chloe's life - and as a result, Rachel's.
Max is hard to pin down with mere words, and this is part of what draws Rachel to her now: calling Max an enigma would be inaccurate but attempting to encapsulate the photographer using a handful of words would be a disservice. There's some ethereal quality to the hipster that makes Rachel question if this is similar to how others view her.
Among the many words floating around Rachel's head when she's around Max, 'unpredictable' is the one that always feels like it fits the most. Max can be introverted, easy to fluster, a complete dork, and many other things but she can never quite seem to fit into any description Rachel can dream up.
Max constantly seems to be in two worlds at once: one moment Rachel can look at her and be reminded of her initial impression of the pale and anxious girl clutching a weathered polaroid as if it could shield her from the world, yet other times she seems to exude such a quiet intensity that it makes Rachel's breath catch when their eyes lock - Rachel feels sometimes that the frequently seen hoodie, shirt, and jeans combination is less of an outfit and more of a sheathe for that steel Max has hiding underneath all those layers of entry-level hipster style.
Sometimes the photographer seems to be lost in her own head, a slight furrow of her brows and a glassy-eyed look always betraying this habit, but more often she seems to be so acutely aware of her surroundings that Rachel feels like that pair of piercing blue eyes capture more than their owner's beat-up camera could ever hope to - Rachel doesn't try to hide anything from Max, in equal parts due to their friendship as well as the fact she's quite certain Max could see through any mask she attempted to put on.
Rachel likes being around Max for a lot of reasons, but one of them is because of how easy it is to just let loose around her. Rachel lives a life of practiced performances, effortlessly switching from persona to persona to suit the people around her, but Max always manages to pierce through every veil Rachel adorns herself with and lets the girl underneath all those layers breathe for a moment and view the world without several filters in the way: it is liberating, but also makes Rachel nervous in a way that she hadn't ever experienced before.
Max is not by herself intimidating, but Rachel is not used to feeling so open and vulnerable - a feeling that Max often manages to subject her to without trying. Chloe is all bluster and constant energy that makes Rachel feel invincible, while Max is the sound of a camera shutter and a shy smile that pierces through Rachel's armour to scrape what lies underneath.
Every candid photograph captures the moments between the changing of her masks, those small shifts in expression that expose those last dredges of uncertainty that Rachel thought she had successfully buried underneath all those extracurricular activities, parties, and her outstanding GPA.
Every small touch seems to give her pause and leave her with a lingering feeling, a wanting for more.
Every held gaze seems to make something in Rachel buzz and flutter, and feel like any distance between the two is impossibly large.
Rachel has never been the type to struggle with her feelings, never in all her years.
She has always been keenly aware of what she is feeling and able to mask it without much effort. Her temper has always been somewhat of an exception to this, but Rachel has learned to reign it in when it flares up - an event involving a certain burning photo being a primary motivator for this change.
It's difficult for her to admit that Max is quite possibly the only person that makes her constantly question if she's really in as much control over her feelings as she likes to believe. As far as everybody in Arcadia Bay is concerned, Rachel Amber doesn't get nervous, Rachel Amber is the one who makes people nervous.
---
During one particularly overcast day, Rachel is sitting in Max's dorm cross-legged on the brunette's bed and sorting through a few shots the photographer had taken earlier that day. Max is sat at her desk, poring over some textbook and bobbing her head softly to some indie song crooning from her Hi-Fi.
Rachel takes a moment to look up at the wall to her right, every inch of it covered in different photos that she has seen many times before: the 'Max Caulfield Photo Memorial Wall' ("Max, I am never going to let you live that name down!") is likely Rachel's favourite part of Max's room, as it showcases the girl's fondness for and skill at photography in a way that also perfectly captures her dorkiness.
Rachel's eye is caught by a small section of the wall that seems to have been altered recently: a familiar group of environmental shots has been replaced by a few shots of Chloe and herself from several different occasions. It warms Rachel's heart for a moment, seeing how Max had dedicated part of the memorial wall to her friends - it's a simple gesture, but it shows Max is thinking about her and Chloe even when they're not around.
Rachel grins and looks up at the studying brunette, "Since when did you change the memorial wall, Max?"
Max looks back at Rachel and seems confused for a moment, her brow furrowing as she briefly glances at the wall before realisation seems to dawn on her. "Oh! I figured it just made sense to have a few photos of you two on there, you know, since you and Chloe have been nothing but great to me ever since I arrived back here."
Rachel's grin stays plastered on her face as she leans forward, "I couldn't help but notice there's a few more shots of me on there than Chloe. Is that just me being a camera hog, Max?"
Rachel's bluffing and hadn't actually stopped to count how many shots of herself were on the wall, but she seems to have struck a nerve as she watches Max stiffen slightly and flush. She turns her chair fully around to face Rachel before quickly replying, "No, o-of course not! It's probably just, you know, you're such a natural model compared to Chloe? I mean, not that she's not a good model, I just mean you're really vibrant and it's hard not to take a lot of shots of you."
"Is that so?" Rachel hops off the bed and strides over to Max's desk and picks up her camera laying nearby. "You should try modelling yourself at some point, Max, it's a shame how you keep those cute freckles on the other side of the lens all the time."
Max seems to go redder for a moment and smiles sheepishly, staring up at Rachel. Before the photographer can react, Rachel suddenly whips the camera's viewfinder up to her eye and snaps a photo of her as she stares up at Rachel.
Rachel grins as she grabs the freshly dispensed photograph and gives it a brief shake, before holding it up to the light for Max to see. "See what I mean Max? I'm no photography pro like you are, but this picture is still great because of the subject."
Max continues blushing as Rachel leans over her shoulder and places the photograph and Max's camera on the desk, the blonde keeping her gaze locked with Max's the entire time. After a moment Max manages to speak in a low voice, "Well, anyone can just pick up a camera and snap a photo. You've got practice doing it, that's why the picture looks good, Rachel. I'm really nothing special."
"Says who, Max?" Rachel's heart is pounding at this point and she's not sure where she's even going with this flirting, but she's hoping that she isn't just confusing the hell out of Max because she is still leaning toward her and can smell a hint of the brunette's shampoo. "Because to me, you're really special, Max. I do hope you realise that."
"Y-yeah, I realise. You're um, you're special to me too, Rachel," Max rasps, gazing straight into Rachel's hazel eyes. Her eyes seem to dart down for a moment to look at Rachel's lips, before immediately jumping back to the blonde's eyes.
Rachel reaches a hand out and rests it on Max's forearm, "I'm going to be honest, Max. You make me feel vulnerable and nervous in ways nobody else does, because around you I don't feel like I need to keep up any sort of act."
Max's breath hitches for a moment as she continues gazing at Rachel before she manages to briefly murmur a question, "I do?"
Rachel shifts her hand down to grab Max's wrist and guides the brunette's hand to rest on her heart. "You feel that? That's all your doing, Max."
Max's eyes seem to suddenly sharply focus as she bites her lip briefly, and Rachel sees that familiar piercing look she has come to recognise. Before she can react, Max closes the distance between them and their lips meet. Rachel is stunned by the sudden action on the photographer's part but quickly responds in kind, leaning into the kiss and feeling Max's lips press against hers.
It's messy, awkwardly positioned, and the blonde wouldn't be surprised if this was Max's first actual kiss, but it's everything Rachel had imagined and more. Her pulse is still pounding, but now there's an undercurrent of euphoria that clashes against the nervousness buzzing in her and makes every touch feel electric.
They break apart for a moment, breathless, and Max looks at Rachel with that same piercing gaze now accompanied with half-lidded eyes. She inhales, then breaks out in a grin for a moment before breathily saying, "That was... amazing, but I'd like it if I could stand up before we do it again."
Rachel chuckles for a moment as she steps backward briefly to allow Max to finally rise out of her chair, "Is that your way of saying you want another kiss, Caulfield?"
That shy smile, the one that always makes something flutter in Rachel's stomach, plays across Max's face briefly before shifting into something more resembling a grin. "You've been teasing and flirting with me for the last few minutes, so I'd say I deserve one for putting up with you, Amber."
Rachel's heart seems to skip a beat for a moment, and she feels like she has just discovered yet another side to Max.
---
Rachel has never been the type to struggle for words, never in all her years.
Words have always came easy to her - whether it be those that she strings together to be accompanied with a simple tilt of the head and a flirtatious smile to charm others, or the flowery language that makes up the monologues found in the many scripts she has studied.
It's not difficult for Rachel to admit one of the only people who make her struggle for words is Max Caulfield, and she does not have an issue with that: around Max, she can afford to not always be flawless. She can relax, she can let loose, and she can finally be herself - she doesn't need to wear a mask.
It's not difficult for Rachel to admit that what she feels for Max is something wholly unique, something that words can't do justice - attempting to encapsulate her relationship with the photographer using a handful of words would be a disservice.