Work Text:
"Stay away from me"
It wasn't an order but rather a request as his Donghyuck hung his head before retrieving back to his seat. It has been an hour since his friend knelt on the floor of his bathroom, coughing up petals, and just like the previous night, he took solace in the presence of the other.
"Renjun..." it was a meek voice as the male slightly turned to face his friend. Worry was written all over his face as the male sighed shaking his head.
"Leave me Hyuck... I'll be fine..."
Donghyuck shook his head before moving towards the older, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Though Renjun tried to pry the other's hands off of him he gave up in the end, his eyes giving away his emotions.
"You know I can't leave you like that... Just let me help you Jun"
Renjun giggled. As shallow as his voice may sound, he didn't care. He didn't care at all as there was no use in hiding it. He knew what he was dealing with, Hanahaki disease. He had heard about it, read about it, and he was now facing it. Funny how he called it bullshit back when he heard it the first time yet here he was throwing up flowers all due to unrequited feelings.
"I shouldn't have fallen in love... even when...", he paused staring right back into those concerned eyes of his friend, "even when I saw how much they treasured each other, even when... even when I knew I wouldn't stand a chance..." Renjun smiled a bit leaning onto the shoulder of Donghyuck who in turn sat silent, running his fingers through the male's hair. It might have been uncomfortable if it was in any other setting yet it didn't feel awkward, sitting in silence as the cold air engulfed them.
"It's fine..." Donghyuck started, pressing in a small kiss to the other's forehead, "you'll be fine... all we need to do is to consult a doctor, I'm sure he'll have a remedy"
"I don't" turning to the younger, Renjun said smiling as he sat up, "it's past three stages already"
He took his time to observe the face of the younger. Betrayal, he could sense it flash through the eyes of Donghyuck. He was horrified to hear the news. How long did his friend manage to hide this from them, from him? That might have been what he had been thinking, Renjun knew.
"Why...why didn't you...fuck Renjun! Why didn't you tell us about this? You could've... You could've at least told me..."
His voice strained as he looked away making Renjun snuggle closer to him. He knew how much the younger loved cuddling him.
"I didn't want to bother you guys... the last thing I wanted is to be a trouble for you..."
Donghyuck took a deep breath in. His lips were quivering, his cheeks were stained, Renjun noticed.
"You would never be a trouble to me... never..." and donghyuck meant it. Renjun would be the last person who would ever trouble him.
"Ah... it's nice to know Hyuck... could I... perhaps... ask for a favor then?"
"Yes"
Donghyuck would do anything renjun would ask him to. As he heard the request Renjun had put forward he wondered whether it would be favorable for Renjun to take his condition into consideration. As much as it may have been simple he pondered whether it was the right thing to do as he sat beside the male watching the rest of his friends enjoying the beach day.
"I want you to call all our friends and spend a day on the beach"
Renjun sat there staring intently at the couple. Jeno and Jaemin seemed to not pay heed to the rest as they kept running around the place, their faces gleaming. They were having fun and that's all that mattered to Renjun. Even if he couldn't join them, even if he couldn't feel their love he was happy, content. He was content watching them from afar. He could sense Donghyuck shuffling beside him who seemed to be glancing at him from time to time.
"Why aren't you joining them?" Renjun asked, eyes never leaving the couple as Donghyuck sighed.
"How could I when you're sitting here hurting by yourself?"
Renjun turned to look at Donghyuck.
"I'm not hurting Hyuck. I'm fine, completely fine."
"You're not! I can see it in your eyes!" Donghyuck argued. Who was Renjun trying to fool?
"Please... let's have this conversation sometime else..."
the younger didn't speak any further. He sat there in silence, his eyes vaguely looking through the rest of their friends. He could see chenle and Jisung, their younger friends trying to create a sandcastle. On the other side of the beach were Mark and Lucas cuddled, their arms wrapped on each other. He sighed. It might not be late to have a talk with Jeno and Jaemin regarding Renjun and his condition.
"Look at them... they look so beautiful, perfect for each other, don't you think?"
"Renjun..."
"They're each other's missing puzzle piece and I... I was just a cause for them to meet each other"
Renjun ran away from his house, with all he could get his hands on and the money his grandmother had left him before she passed away. He could've spent his life in China, living lavishly with the riches his parents had acquired yet when they started questioning his choices and controlling him he decided it was time for him to move away, move away far to somewhere where they wouldn't notice him.
Somehow he managed to land in Seoul through the help of his cousin Lucas, better known as xuxi, within their family circle. Xuxi promised to keep his arrival a secret and even managed to get him a dorm room, the one he shared with Lee Jeno.
"Oh, you must be Yukhei's cousin!" Jeno had remarked as soon as he was met with a smaller male crawled up on one of the beds in his room. He had been expecting a roommate having kicked out mark two days prior thanks to the antics of both mark and his partner, Yukhei. Jeno, rather than being awkward as Renjun had imagined him to be was rather pleasant and welcoming. It didn't feel awkward and rather weird Renjun felt safe around him. He made Renjun feel at home and that was a pleasant feeling.
Slowly, but surely, he was introduced to their friend circle with Donghyuck being the one to whom he got attached. He was someone who Renjun could trust. He shared most of his secrets with the other, except for him developing feelings for the latter's childhood friend.
Renjun thought it was funny, how he stuttered around the younger, his eyes looking anywhere but him, his cheeks and ears being tainted with red and his heart fluttering even at the slightest actions of formality. He wanted to get rid of feelings yet it was hard to. He had fallen for Lee Jeno and there was no going back.
"Renjun, are you okay?" It was Jaemin. He had always been caring, looking out for all of them. Renjun still finds it amusing how the latter, despite being one of the youngest in the group looks out for all of them as a caring father. He couldn't believe he had disliked the male for apparently taking Jeno away from him.
The arrival of the new kid would've been welcoming and pleasant for Renjun had it not been for the fact that Jeno had the heart eyes for him ever since he had landed in Seoul. He didn't like it at all. Call he possessive but he could care less. Renjun had set his eyes on Jeno and he couldn't dare to see him slip away from his sight.
"Hi, I'm Jaemin! You must be Renjun, right? Jeno has told me about you" for the first few days he had avoided the pink-haired male like a plague but Jaemin was adamant enough not to give up. it came to the point Renjun felt like giving up but from the viewpoint of Jaemin he wanted to know why the other was avoiding him and if it was because he had found him intimidating, he needed to change that impression.
"I'm Renjun, now could you leave me alone?" it was cold, and even Renjun flinched at his tone. He managed to maintain the cold stare until he saw how the other's face fell. Renjun felt guilty, guilty for telling the other off.
A tear fell from his eyes but Renjun managed to smile. He was strong, he shouldn't let his walls come down. He could see how worried all of them were and even with quivering lips, he managed to grin and dig into the delicious meal set in front of him. But he felt sick.
"You don't seem so fine Renjun" it was jeno, Renjun could recognize. He could feel his vision starting to fade, his grip on the table tightening. At some moment he felt a warm pair of hands pulling him closer for a hug. They patted his back.
"Oh, Jeno! Where are you heading off to?" The said male turned around with a wide smile plastered on his face, his hands hiding a bouquet he had specifically got designed for special someone. Unlike his usual joggers and dress shirt, he was clad in a formal suit. Too formal for Renjun's liking and his mind to not overthink.
"I'm heading off to see someone" Jeno replied casually, his grip on the bouquet becoming tighter as time passed by. He was nervous, Renjun could sense it. Taking in a deep breath Renjun decided to confront him.
"Is it Jaemin?" he didn't receive a reply but the way the younger's ears turned red was enough to let him know that he indeed was right. Jeno was going to confess to Jaemin. But why didn't he feel jealousy? On the contrary, he was happy, happy for both of them. Isn't that weird? Shouldn't he be angry at Jaemin just as how he was back then? But why was he happy for them?
"Look!" It was chenle's voice, Renjun knew. They must've found out about his disease, the last people he wanted to know about his health condition was the two who were sitting across him in bewilderment finding it hard to believe what they had seen.
Renjun had thrown up, but in contrast to the disgusting imagery, they were met with the sight of flower petals all withered on the floor. Donghyuck helped to rub the back of Renjun while Lucas ran away to get help. The rest stayed rooted to their seats, their eyes widened and none daring to speak. They were waiting for an explanation and by the looks of it, Donghyuck must've known from the start.
"No way... no... it can't be..." Renjun found it hard to accept. What would've been a normal fever turned out to be a disease he had never believed to exist, Hanahaki disease. The doctor after checking upon him confirmed it as Renjun's symptoms were too severe for cold.
"Mr. Huang, the medication, as much as it has developed can't fix this. The only way for you to survive is to receive love from your object of affection. We can keep you alive for some time with medicines though it won't guarantee whether you'll make it."
Renjun sat cold in the chair, his eyes frantically moving from the doctor to the staff as if looking for an explanation. He felt like his blood was draining out, seconds away from passing out on the chair in the doctor's room.
"Renjun! Please! Please don't close your eyes- We're in the hospital, the doctor will treat you!! don't give up on us now!"
Renjun couldn't realize who the voice belonged to nor did he care as he was more focused on keeping his eyes open for the said person. he didn't want to give up, not yet. Still, a part of him wanted it all to end, wanted the pain to go away as he laid there in the stretcher, the lights flashing.
"Renjun you will be fine"
a kiss on his forehead, he felt that.
"How could I hate him?" bringing in his knees closer, Renjun whispered, sobbing. He was in love, in love with two men who were into each other. Oh, how he wished he could get over it! How he wished he could get rid of his feelings as clearly as the two wouldn't be able to see him that way.
"I need to get rid of these feelings... I need to..."
When he knew he wouldn't be able to.
"Mr. Kim! How is Renjun?" as soon as the doctor stepped out of the emergency room, Lucas rushed to his side, his voice panicky and his body shaking. The doctor glanced briefly at the group present before glancing back at Lucas.
"You must be?"
"Huang xuxi! Renjun's cousin!"
"Well", a pause, "Mr. Huang, could you please accompany me? I have something to tell you"
Donghyuck's ears perked up at those words. Frantically he got up, his eyes never leaving the two who walked away from the group. It was never a good sign.
"Renjun-my lord! Renjun!! What happened to you?"
It could've been a normal weekend night yet Donghyuck stepped into the sight of a trashed room, with a rather pale-looking male throwing up, his legs numb to support himself. He was quick enough to jump into action helping Renjun throughout, accompanying him afterward. Renjun despite having donghyuck beside him to force him to eat refused to eat.
"I'm not ... I'm not hungry," that's what he said as Donghyuck gave up taking up space beside him and snuggling closer to renjun. Though it was awkward at first, Renjun felt safe and he gave in, his arms loosely tied around the other. Donghyuck didn't question him, he waited for the right moment as he knew Renjun was weak, as of now. He could feel the older struggling to breathe.
"Do you want me to leave... perhaps...?" Renjun who was trying to find a comfortable position stopped squirming, shaking his head fervently.
"Please... please stay by my side..."
"You must be lying!! Renjun isn't dead! he isn't!! I refuse to believe you!!" Donghyuck lost his control. Once the news broke he pushed himself off the grasp of Jisung, banging on the door of the emergency room like a mad man, unable to control his emotions.
"Hyuck-"
"Mark! Do you believe them?? Do you believe what Lucas said? Renjun isn't dead! he could never... he could never leave us alone... he... he wouldn't leave me alone!!"
"Donghyuck-"
"It's the truth Donghyuck! He's no more"
The words seemed to hit them like a truck as the male collapsed, thankfully having Mark right by his side to catch him, the rest crying their eyes out still unable to cope with the reality. It took some time for Donghyuck to regain consciousness who glanced at Jaemin and Jeno before making his way to the morgue.
It felt odd, the way he looked at them, it was as if he knew something they didn't. Jaemin knew the three, Lucas, Jeno and Donghyuck would be handling it the worst as his instincts asked him to follow Donghyuck. And follow he did, once they came across an empty space, Donghyuck halted having felt the presence of Jaemin.
"What do you want?" Donghyuck gritted, quite unlike his usual cheery self. Jaemin contemplated whether he should stay or leave him alone.
"Renjun-"
"You killed him! You and Jeno both!" Donghyuck roared, unable to control himself. Jaemin was appalled. Did Renjun like them, other than the platonic way?
"Hyuck-"
"He loved you Jaem... he... he loved you both..."
"Hyuck, can I ask you for another favor?" They were ready to head back to the resort, and donghyuck halted, humming lightly.
"Go ahead Renjun," he said
"Could you... perhaps ask Jaemin and Jeno... to sprinkle dirt on my coffin... once I'm buried?"
Donghyuck was shocked. Never did he imagine a day that would mark the end of Huang Renjun. The very thought of him passing away ached the heart of the latter who pulled him into a hug.
"Don't talk about death, we're here to ease your pain away..." a chuckle could be heard
"I know... I know my end is near hyuck... there's no point in denying that... please won't you do one last favor for me...?"
"yes...yes, I will"
Jeno and Jaemin, to honor the dead, did as they were told. Had they known it they would've confessed sooner, it's a shame they got to know about the feelings of Renjun through Donghyuck after his passing. The two had discussed and come to a conclusion that they would confess soon on the night of their beach trip, not foreseeing the tragic event that would eventually take place.
Jaemin was trying to hold himself back, Jeno could tell. They were holding onto each other, their eyes falling upon Lucas who seemed to grieve struck as well, his body weighing over that of Mark's.
Donghyuck was nowhere to be seen. He hadn't attended the funeral, the rest didn't question his choice. Out of them all, he seemed to be taking the news the worst.
"He needs some time alone. He wouldn't be attending." Mark had let them know once they had reached the place. No one dared to utter a word, even the youngest Jisung was whimpering, as they all stood by the grave in silence.
"You killed him! You and Jeno both!"
"He loved you Jaem... he... he loved you both..."
Jaemin woke up from his nap, taking Jeno by surprise. The latter had asked him to drive him far away so as to calm his nerves down. Once he took a glance at Jaemin he knew the other wasn't feeling any better as worry was written all over his face.
"Jeno! We need to go! To hyuck's!"
"Why-"
"Just do as I ask you to! He's in danger, I can sense it! Please... please I don't want to lose him as we lost Renjun"
"You seem to be smiling a lot Hyuck..." Jeno remarked once he was met a widely smiling donghyuck who was crawled upon his bed, his eyes never leaving his handphone.
"What? Can't I smile?" He asked accusingly as Jeno surrendered giving up knowing the younger was a handful.
"I was just asking..."
A few seconds later he could hear donghyuck whisper to himself, "is this what love feels like?"
Though Jeno wanted to ask, as curious as he got, about who caught his interest, he never did as he silently watched the antics of his lovestruck best friend. Donghyuck seemed to be immersed in his phone.
"Need help?" Jeno suggested teasingly as the younger looked questioningly.
"why?"
"I've been in love and I can see it... in your eyes and smile" wiggling his eyebrows he sat on the bed earning a light slap on his arm.
"What? If you don't want it then you could just say so..."
Donghyuck pouted before turning to the other, "am I that obvious?"
"Yes," giggling Jeno nodded as blood rushed to the younger's cheeks, him finding solace in his pillow.
"Who is the lucky person? Do I know him?"
"You know him but... as of now I can't reveal who that is, one day, after I confess to him I'll let you all know"
"Donghyuck!" bursting open the door, the couple was met with the sight of a weakened male, petals surrounding him. He didn't notice the presence of them until he turned to his side.
"Hyuck! Hyuck!" he chuckled, despite his condition catching them off guard. Jeno had connected the dots. The subject of affection of Donghyuck's feelings was none other than Renjun. It explains his behavior and why he refused to attend the funeral. He couldn't bear to see the other being taken to his grave.
"I loved him... I loved him so much... and now... he's gone,"