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Adaman had changed, anyone could see that, Mai is sure of it even Melli and Ingo. The problem is no one knows why.
Having their world almost destroyed and finding out their clans were fighting for nothing were big changes to everyone but Mai was sure that wasn't it.
Her brother seemed tired and it didn't seem like he'd be getting better. The question was when he'd break.
Mai watched as her brother listlessly pushed his food around his plate, leaning his head on the palm of his hand staring blankly at the food, he seemed to be somewhere else, in his own world maybe. Gently she nudged him, he looked up at her surprise and she gestured towards his food wordlessly. That same bland expression fell onto his face and maybe, for her sake he took a few bites of his food and then resumed messing with it.
Adaman was the type to rush through meals, through worrying chuckles she'd remind him to chew before he choked, brushing her off with a quip he continued to eat, albeit a little slower than before.
Blurrily she can recall a past time between her, him, and Arezu shared when they were kids, young, young kids. She and Arezu go around the Minelands, not wandering that far off but she always kept her Munchlax close to her side whenever they did, it also helped them find what was edible and what wasn't. With the help of Munchlax and their own intuitions, they'd find food that was unfamiliar and then bring it back to the village. It was called 'give the 8-year-old unfamiliar food and see what he does with it' only managing to get him to eat it by saying it's food to make him stronger. Their grandfather stopped them a month later when her brother ended up getting sick from one which is how she learned to be careful what food you take from Munchlax.
She had spaced out apparently because she comes to when her brother is leaving the table, presumably going to feed his leftovers to his Pokemon. She ends up doing the same as well, frustrated at herself for not knowing what's upset him.
It only gets worse as the day goes on, long-winded irritation that had built up over time seeping out occasionally. There's a meeting today with all the wardens from the Diamond Clan, a discussion of whether or not to change certain methods and ideas they had along with reported problems she knew that this couldn't possibly end well.
And it didn't.
Melli out of all of them had been the one to reject the idea of the quelling of the nobles, he still did, criticizing it after it had been long done with. Constantly interrupting him whenever Adaman said something he didn't agree with to counteract it, Mai watched as her brother's sanity ebbed away like the leaves on the branches waiting for that finally breeze to blow them all away.
Then it happens.
"Would you just fucking listen to me for once in your life? Seriously. Can you just do that? For once?!"
At that Melli was silenced a look of shock flashing across his face yet the clan leader glared at him, too consumed by anger to give caring about it a second thought. "But Adaman, I think the-"
"That's all you ever fucking do, talk back to me! If you're not going to listen to me then what's the point of you even being a warden in the first place?! If your ideas are so great why don't you go intact them yourself since apparently, you can't do anything wrong!"
She and the others watch in a shunned silence as their leader goes on a rage field rant, poison-laced in every word which inturns drip venom. Mai notices how much his hands shake coinciding with his body yet for some reason they shake more, it's not obvious to a bystander but to someone who's been watching with a careful eye it is.
"You are just so fucking dramatic about everything!"
It all follows in a haze of a blur that soon enough her brother is storming off, Leafeon not far behind him as they all stand there without a clue of what happened. Melli stood there with a blanked expression, still shell-shocked upon receiving such sudden backlash. Mai chewed at her bottom lip, looking between the path Adaman stormed down and to the meeting, she wanted to leave but what if something happened? She didn't want something to go astray because she wasn't present to stop it.
Iscan with a somber expression weaved onto his gentle face urges her forward by tilting his head in the direction her little brother walked off to. "Go on," He gently spoke. "I'll make sure nothing happens here,"
Thickly swallowing the lump in her throat she nodded, turning sharply on her heels, Mai ran after her little brother.
Through a fuzzy mind and with static running through his veins, Adaman weaved his way through the forest aimlessly, stopping short of a log as his legs grow wobbly and he has to take a seat on it. Anger devolves into regret which turns into guilt then sadness. Why? Why did you do that?! His mind screams at him, clouded by so many thoughts at once is overwhelming.
Leafeon finds its way and sits in his lap he scoops them up in his arms and lets the harsh sobs rack their way out of his chest, head buried in his hands.
His Pokemon does its best to help him, purring against his chest and pawing at his arms, it makes a whining noise that just makes his chest get tighter. Leafeon stares up at him with big brown eyes ones he has no doubt are one of concern. He's grateful to have the comfort even if he's not sure he's quite earned it.
He should be honored that any of this happened to him, that Mighty Dialga choose to speak through him of all people, and the guilt of not feeling that way chokes him, making him sick to his stomach, especially in the way he just acted.
Adaman swears when this is all over when the shaking stops and his skin stops prickling, he'll explain, he swears he'll explain everything and he'll apologize to Melli he just needs to ride whatever this is out. Get his head back on straight and freshen up. However, he isn't sure if this feeling will ever end and it makes him feel even worse than before.
He's the clan's leader, he shouldn't act like this, shouldn't be feeling like this he's supposed to be brave and be able to lead them to a brighter future not be crying and sobbing over something he should be honored over.
If his grandfather could see him now he's sure he'd be ashamed.
Leafeon lets out a mewl of concern, it's pawing now becoming more frequent as the sounds he tried so hard to keep back come out, he wants to scream in the hopes it'll release everything he's feeling but the only thing that comes out is choked sob and ragged breaths. Adaman is sure he's going to throw up if this continues.
"There you are, I had been wondering where you went off to," As his sister suddenly appears, her soft voice weaves its way through the branches of the trees Adaman froze, his mind yelling at him to be quiet and stop shaking but he couldn't stop the muffled sob that managed to slip past his lips. He hears her pause, then, Leafeon leaves his side padding towards her trilling miserably, Mai replies too quiet for him to hear.
With shame curling in his chest, curling forwards, he tucked his knees under his chin, wrapping his arms around them, burying his head in his arms. He wasn't about to cry in front of his sister about something so stupid, so dishonorable when he should be honored just like how everyone's told him to be. But his sister was just like him stubborn, if not even more.
Her footsteps slowly approached him, silent but steady. Mai knew her brother, she knew him well after all she lived with him his entire life, helped him when he had problems with being the leader, and gave him advice as he went on. Yet despite all that, as they grew older they grew apart. He hated it when people saw him cry, so she always gave him space, waiting for him to come to her but this time... He didn't.
At this point, as the weeks passed her concern about giving him space lessened to the point where she was more concerned about him spiraling than anything else. She approaches him carefully making sure he knows she's thereby adding extra noise, but not too much at the same time. As she approaches him she notices something, an obvious glaring detail that makes her stomach drop.
"You're... You're shaking..." Fastly, she slides onto the part of the log across from him, laying her hand on his shoulder but her brother didn't say anything to her.
"Adam are you okay?" Mai's eyes are soft with worry, that usual unbothered expression, that smirk she always wore was gone replaced but what he could only identify as an unadulterated concern and that's what broke him.
The month of tension, of stress, exhaustion, and what he could only assume was anxiety finally snapped, and letting out a chocked out sob he collapsed into his sister's arms, sobbing, as the shaking grows even worse. She held him, letting him cry onto her shoulder as her arms enveloped him in a hug.
Like when they were kids, he can briefly register her hand in his hair, gently threading its way in and out, carefully getting out any knots. If he tries hard enough he can remember when they were kids and when he was upset occasionally she'd do it, sometimes, but rare, so would their grandfather when he was still alive. She continues the far after it's needed even while trying to coax a response out of him.
"Do you know why your shaking Adam?" He nods, not trusting his voice just yet. Tears continue to slip down his cheeks as his sister moves close to take his hands hers, gently squeezing them. "Take your time, I don't mind waiting," And he does exactly that, still not trusting his voice until eventually, he finds he can speak up.
"M...Mightly Dialga..."
"What about Mighty Dialga?"
"I..." And that's when panic overtook him. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to word the fact that he wasn't grateful for the blessing that he had been disposed upon him? If it were anyone else they'd be grateful, he's sure if Irida had been the one who had gotten spoken to she'd be grateful for it, ecstatic even yet here he was fretting over it.
After the rift was closed and the festival with the Galaxy Team and Pearl Clan was done, Diamond Clan held one of their own commemorating the event. He had taken a walk to shake off any jitters he had that they were going to do that and he came back to exactly that. Hounded with question after question told to enjoy the food in festivities partly held in his own honor when all he could do was smile hoping his anxiety didn't relay on his face and the churning in his stomach would stop.
He went to bed early that night, feigning his exhaustion, his Leafeon and newly evolved Umbreon at the foot of his bed. He ended up going to bed far later than when he retreated to it, only being able to sleep after what he was sure was the stress of one event after another breaking him down and seeking comfort in his Pokemon which is how he even managed to fall asleep in the first place.
He wakes up with his sister sending him concerned looks over breakfast which he ignored. It was his responsibility as the leader to take the generous opportunity he was given with pride and he intended to do exactly that.
Now look at him, he's crumbling, breaking all because he wasn't grateful enough for what he was given and his sister has to deal with it and he hates it.
"I think Mighty Dialga tried to talk to me again and... I don't want them to, I-I hate it, it's terrifying. Anytime it talks to me it controls my body for a moment and i-it terrifies me when it does it. Anytime I think about it just for a second I start shaking just like right now, and I know it's supposed to be honored but I'm not... I wish they never spoke through me in the first place," What kind of leader is he? Not a good one, and for that he can't bear to look at his sister despite how she rests her hand on his shoulder staying silent.
When he finally meets Mai's eyes he expects disappointment, maybe pity or dishonor but he doesn't... All he sees is that same concern she had from the beginning.
"It's okay," She said, her voice gentle and barely above a whisper, once more Adaman finds himself breakdown all over again.
It's okay, it's okay, he reminds himself as he continues to sob, Mai doesn't hate me, it's okay.
She stays by his side holding him close till he runs out of tears until he's let it all out and his shaking lessens to a manageable extent. Leafeon finds its way back to them, squeezing between while purring softly as it sat on his lap. He pulled back from the hug a few unneeded tears slipping down his cheeks as he stared down at his Pokemon with a grateful smile, he patted their head, smoothing back some of its fur which is crooned in response too.
He sniffled, wiping away the few stray tears, taking a deep breath as he waited for his hands to steady and his heart to return to its normal pace. "Sorry for crying on you..." He mumbled, and his sister just squeezed his shoulder with a serious expression. "You can cry as much as you want, I don't mind,"
Adaman sniffled once more, nodding as he slowly rocked his torso only the slightest bit back and forth, his sister patting his back as Leafeon lay on his lap purring into his chest. This continues for a while until his breaths are even and his cheeks are fairly dry.
"Now, let's get you cleaned up now, alright?" Leading him with a careful arm across his shoulder blades the two started to walk, Leafeon trailing not that far behind them. They walked for a while to get, how long he wasn't sure since time had seemingly slipped away from him for the moments until they reached a small lake thankfully absent of Pokemon. It was there he kneeled down next to it, cupping water in his hands and splashing his face a few times until he was satisfied, wiping his face with his jackets cloth despite how much he knows he'll regret it later.
He stands up still, only able to look at his sister with worry fixed on his face. "What if it happens again?" Mai looked at him, arms crossed as she gently nodded her head. "Then I'll be there to help you,"
"Mai... but-" His sister cupped his cheeks with her hands, squeezing it and forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"
He nodded though not fully able to. "Y... Yeah! Of course, I do, you're my sister for Sinnoh's sake!"
"Then trust me when I say I'll be here for you, okay?" He nodded at her but she wasn't satisfied. "Okay?!"
Adaman nodded a smile tugging at his lips, "Okay," and Mai finally smiled back at him. She took his hands in hers and pulled him up, leading him back to an opening that would lead down a trail to where the settlement was. "Now let's get back home, alright?" That's when he pulls away, tearing his eyes away from hers, rubbing his arm.
"But what about how I yelled at Melli? He may be annoying sometimes but even he didn't deserve that, he was just trying to help..." The warden clapped a hand on his shoulder squeezing it with a reassuring look. "Melli was more shocked than mad, and even if he wasn't he can handle it I'm sure of it, if he survived this long I'm sure some yelling won't hurt him."
Adaman nodded and let his sister guide him back to settlement quietly, today was a long day.