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“This wasn’t a good idea.”
Peebee took another sip of her drink and cast an anxious glance at Ryder, who had set out to make as many friends as she could in one night. The Pathfinder had finally consented to go to the bar with Peebee and a few other crew members to celebrate some of their recent achievements (which included establishing an outpost on Elaaden and discovering that SAM could easily stop Ryder's heart). The second part was a little bit too shocking for everyone, including Suvi, who had spent the first day after the incident only in Sara’s room, casually just getting out to grab them something to eat and then returning to be with her girlfriend. When Ryder finally emerged, she looked like complete shit, but didn’t speak anything regarding the mission, besides apologizing to Drack for having to leave behind his Krogan scouts. For Peebee this was the moment which mostly broke Ryder, as Drack just groaned her way and then let her gather the pieces on her own, distancing himself from her.
So Ryder threw herself into work, not even speaking with crew members unless it was mission related. She declined visiting Lexi for a check-in, even when the asari was threatening her with sedation. Started missing on the zero-g relaxing sessions with Peebee, didn’t really bother checking up on Liam or Vetra. Spoke with Cora only when absolutely necessary. Ryder would cuddle against Suvi at bedtime, mumble a gentle "I love you," and then pretend to go asleep, even though Suvi knew she wasn't sleeping when she found her awake in the middle of the sleep cycle, skimming through some data on her omni tool.
Ryder stunned everyone when she said that she wanted to join them at the bar after the Tempest landed for much-needed resupply and mechanical maintenance. She would frequently decline their invitations, stating that she disliked alcohol and loud environments. So Peebee, Liam, Gill, and Vetra took it as a positive omen and dragged Ryder to the Vortex for a drink. Suvi had work to finish, so she stayed behind and with Ryder out of the Tempest, temporary commanding control of the ship was given to Cora, meaning that she had to stay on board. Drack wasn’t really in the mood of going out with the crew, he had recently started declining all offers for meeting up with the others, instead preferring to spend his free time with Lexi in the medbay.
After the first round of shots, Ryder’s mood had gone up, as the group had cheered their leader while drinking, claiming that it was nice to see her have fun with them. None of them knew how much could their Pathfinder drink, after all it was very rare that she would turn to alcohol. But then she had bought a round of shots for everyone, like every-everyone in the Vortex, and that had started ringing a bell in Peebee’s head, as she would glance at Ryder, who was chuckling down the shots like water, not even a grimace on her face.
“Maybe it’s time we take her to the Tempest,” Peebee had told Gill, who had started a game of poker with a random salarian in the bar.
“Nah, she is fine,” Gill had said, not even looking at Ryder.
Then the random friendship started. For one night Ryder became friends with 3 angaran, who all took turns teaching her some of their language and making her take more shots every time she would get it wrong; 5 different humans, one of which she mistook for Suvi and Peebee actually had to intervene, in order to stop Ryder from casually cheating on her real girlfriend. By the time Peebee had gathered Vetra, Liam and Gill with the idea of getting Ryder back to the Tempest, the Pathfinder had also become friends with two asari…uhhh stripers and was tossing credits their way.
“Ryder! Ryder, stop it!” Peebee begged her, slapping the Pathfinder’s face lightly. The result was just a tiny, wavy smile, dilated pupils and some random murmuring about some human dish called Mac and Cheese. The asari strippers disappointedly left, not before Ryder spilled some random Remnant secrets their way, thankfully not coherent enough for anybody to understand.
“Mac and cheese? Really, Ryder?” Liam asked, tossing her arm over his shoulder after Peebee had taken the other side. Ryder was a tiny human, slightly shorter than Peebee herself, but on the other hand the Pathfinder was just lean muscles and nothing else, so she was heavy. They slowly walked through the docking bay, desperately trying to hide just how drunk Ryder, the only hope of the Milky way species, actually was. Wasn’t very easy, especially when Ryder decided to sing.
“Smooth operator!” the Pathfinder screamed on top of her lungs, gathering various looks around. “Or it was a smooth criminal. Can’t remember.”
“Would have never guessed you are into late 20th century music,” Liam commented.
“Oh yeah… I don’t really like modern music. It sounds flat. Just like Drack doesn’t like me now,” Ryder confessed, before her head fell forward and she laughed loudly at herself. Liam and Peebee shared a concerned look, while Vetra was busy explaining to the docking guard that they were actually crew members and that the babbling mess was in fact the human Pathfinder. He eventually let them through, which also earned him a very loud thank you from Ryder and the first verse of It’s Friday then .
Cora had quite a scare when she saw them carrying Ryder, probably thinking that she might have been injured, only to calm down after Ryder took her time reciting Jian Garson’s speech from before leaving for Andromeda.
“Shall we put her in her bed, or wake up Lexi and have her at the medbay?” Cora asked, watching as Ryder was sitting on a crate in the cargo bay, laughing at their Pyjak, who had come to check the commotion. “Has she ever drunk this much?”
“I say the medbay?” Peebee crossed her arms and when Ryder actually fell from the crate on her back, while trying to turn around, they knew that they better have her in the medbay, just in case. The only problem? Even when extremely intoxicated, Ryder refused to step in the medbay.
“Come on, Ryder” Cora tried to encourage her. “Lexi will give you some meds, you will take a nap and will feel a lot better in the morning. I promise.”
“But Drack is always there,” Ryder babbled out, throwing her head back. “And he hates me. And I am hungry.”
Was that the reason for her current condition? Cora had seen the distance Drack had put between him and Ryder, trying to deal with the grief of losing his scouts without lashing out too much at Ryder. But Cora also knew how strained her relationship with Alec was, so probably part of Ryder was associating the situation with the way she was distant with her biological father. So no wonder Ryder had done the stuff she did in the past week, like overworking until exhaustion or getting as drunk as she was right now.
“Okay, then let’s go to your room? And we will get you something to eat?” Cora explained quietly, leveling herself with Ryder in order to not intimidate her.
“Can I have Mac and cheese? Or noodles with an egg? And cheese?” Ryder asked when Cora got her back on her feet. Peebee immediately came to the rescue, picking Ryder’s other side.
It took some time to get in contact with Suvi, during which Ryder had cuddled with Peebee on her couch; had destroyed two bows of mac and cheese, as well as told them as many facts for black holes, as her mind could gather. Then went into a deep long rant about Drack and just how much she appreciated him and wanted to apologize for leaving his krogan scouts behind, but that she also wasn’t thinking right after SAM had stopped her heart. This was something she had never spoken, they had mainly brushed it under the rug and given that Lexi didn’t get to examine her enough, nobody knew the side effects of getting a willing cardiac arrest.
“It was weird,” Ryder explained. “It was cold and I could feel the floor underneath and wanted to get up, but then I was on a field with Mom and Scott and then we were flying and then I heard someone yell my name and then I woke up. On the floor. And Cora, you and Drack were flying.”
“Yeah,” Cora said. “I remember it. Very, very well.”
“You know, I should have probably died there,” Ryder suddenly said, which made Cora freeze on her spot. “I mean everyone is blaming me for something and if I am dead, they can’t blame me, right?”
“Ryder,” Cora stood up, “I think it’s time to sleep. Come on.”
“And Drack would have been happier, because you would have turned into the next Pathfinder and probably found a way to get them all out. And Tann would have given you missions that you can deal with with a snap of a finger. Like this. Snap. Not like me. Not a snap. And Suvi would find somebody better,” Ryder suddenly went quiet, playing with her fingers. “I just want to be enough.”
“Oh, Ryder,” Cora whispered, as she gingerly gathered Ryder in her arms. The Pathfinder returned the hug tightly and they stood like this for a little bit of time, Cora quietly whispering ‘you are enough’ again and again. Deep down she knew that although Ryder was very, very intoxicated while saying those stuff, she was probably thinking about it deep down. It was something they had to eventually tell Lexi and let her start the psychological protocol with Ryder.
“I am going to puke,” Ryder suddenly announced, breaking the hug. Cora and Peebee hurried her to the toilet, where Ryder unceremoniously emptied her stomach, barely missing the toilet. Cora scrunched her nose, knowing that someone would probably need to clean this. It was Liam’s turn for cleaning duties, right?
“What's going on?” Drack asked, waiting at the small entrance of the bathroom. They had probably woken him up from his sleep, given that Krogan’s sleep cycle was about 10 hours and he would sometimes go to bed long before the rest of the crew.
“Ryder got… a little too much alcohol in her system than she could handle,” Peebee explained, as Ryder vomited again behind them.
“Ahh, she is just too soft. Need to train her with Ryncol,” Drack rumbled, as he walked past Cora and Peebee, gathering Ryder in his arms and softly getting up from the ground. “Let’s get you to Lexi, kid.”
“But you hate me,” Ryder murmured, hiding her face in Drack’s chest.
“Hate you? Ha, kid, you are probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
By the time Suvi returned from her studies, Ryder was fast asleep in the medbay, pumped with some of the best sedatives and post drinking drugs Lexi could offer. She slept for the better part of 16 hours, before getting up and returning to her normal duties, not even bothering to ask what had happened. It was anyone’s guess if she even remembered getting hammered so badly, or simply had decided to ignore it. As the Tempest took off in the morning for their new destination, the team promised itself to not get Ryder for drinks again any time soon.