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It’s during her eleventh return to Inazuma that Lumine realizes that Ayaka has no idea of the real reason she returns so often.
She was sure that she made it obvious when she returned each time to the Kamisato Estate with gifts personalized just for the Kamisato daughter—Ayaka had received the gifts with a faint blush every time, her cheeks painted a light pink. She would carefully open them in front of Lumine, fingers delicately pulling the gift out before gazing up at Lumine with large and warm eyes.
Lumine was sure that Ayaka had caught on after the first couple gifts.
Yet she sat in Ayaka’s room perplexed at the sight before her. Her gifts for Ayaka decorated the room—the pieces were from other nations, but Ayaka managed to make them blend in with just the correct positioning to highlight their place among the traditionally Inazuman-styled room. Ayaka was sitting across the low table, nervously fidgeting and playing with correspondence letters in front of her.
“When were you going to tell me that you were being courted?” Lumine asked with a tilt of her head.
Ayaka shook her head and frowned, glancing at the letters. “It hasn’t been long—it’s not like this is out of the ordinary…”
“But you’re considering it?” Lumine asked quietly, her voice sounding stuck in her throat. “Are they nice?”
She watched small hands fold the letters and push them aside. Ayaka stood up and calmly walked around to Lumine’s side, kneeling and leaning against the traveler with a quiet sigh. Lumine frowned at the exhaustion evident in her voice. It seemed there had been a significant amount of work placed on her shoulders since she was last in Inazuma. Her heart ached at the sight of Ayaka looking so down—ached even more at the knowledge that she could not stay for longer.
Shattered at the idea of Ayaka not returning her feelings.
She knew that Ayaka had many suitors—Inazuman nobility was littered with arranged marriages. Lumine had witnessed Ayaka reject suitors during her visits, but this was the first time that she had seen Ayaka returning letters…
Lumine’s eyes glanced down at the pile of letters. From what she could tell, Ayaka seemed more than interested.
“Ayato and I talked about the future of the clan…” Ayaka murmured, her hands gently grasping at Lumine’s. “He’s not expecting me to agree to anything. He seems unhappy about it, actually.”
“I would be too,” Lumine responded honestly. “You shouldn’t force yourself.”
“I know.” She sounded uneasy. Lumine intertwined their fingers in an attempt to comfort her. “It would just be easier for us if I do.”
Lumine pursed her lips. “That’s not fair to you.”
It was dawning on her that her feelings may be unrequited. Lumine felt grief settle at the bottom of her heart. She stared at Ayaka with a deep frown; perhaps it wasn’t meant to be: a wayward traveler and the
beloved lady of the Kamisato clan. She squeezed Ayaka’s hand.
“I tried—I gave it a try,” Ayaka said as she turned to look into Lumine’s eyes. “But… Well, I… Couldn’t do it.”
Lumine swallowed the lump in her throat. She had not even noticed how tense her body was; her shoulders sagged, and she let out a discreet sigh of relief.
“I’m glad you’re being honest with yourself,” Lumine said quietly. At the very least, Ayaka would take a stand for her own happiness.
Ayaka did not say much for the minutes after, simply gazing at Lumine with a thoughtful smile. Lumine sat as still as possible, unsure of what the woman before her wanted, but unwilling to separate from her in case it was the last time she could feel her warmth. She felt Ayaka gently squeeze her hand and her heart filled with love, spilling over as if the deep anxiety and grief did not sit at the bottom of it. She managed a small smile and laughed quietly, shaking her head and adjusting herself—Ayaka was still clinging to her, and she doubted that she’d let go any time soon.
“You know I brought you something,” Lumine said and Ayaka’s face lit up, her smile widening.
The traveler reached over to the small gift box next to the table and held it out to Ayaka, who shyly received it with her free hand. Lumine watched as Ayaka placed the box on her lap, refusing to let go of her as she struggled a bit to open the gift. Lumine let out a quiet laugh and held the box down for her as she pulled at the ribbon, her cheeks pink as she glanced up with a grateful smile.
She would be okay with at least seeing this side of Ayaka. It was a bitter thought but seeing her so excited every time she visited Inazuma made the butterflies stir in her stomach, sparked a warmth in her that left every time she took a step off the island.
“Lumine…” Ayaka murmured in awe as she pulled out the bundle of intricately tied threads. Lumine felt her neck flush as she watched Ayaka gently brush each thread with her thumb—she had designed it and knotted it to the best of her abilities.
Although… As she watched Ayaka inspect it even closer, she felt a bit embarrassed at how sloppy it was starting to look.
“I um…” Lumine stammered bashfully. “Something I learned during my travels.”
Ayaka clutched it close to her chest and smiled brightly as her eyes met Lumine’s. Pools of grey swam with adoration and Lumine could barely keep herself together under her gaze. Even after all this time, she still could not bear to look away when Ayaka was staring at her like this; when she looked so comforting and lovely; when her hand was so soft and warm; when the body that leaned against hers had always been open and giving. She leaned in closer, lost in the tender moment—couldn’t register the lack of distance between their faces.
The hand that clutched the knotted threads fell to the side, fingers still wrapped tightly around the gift. Lumine’s eyes followed it briefly before they quickly returned to the woman in front of her and watched Ayaka’s eyelashes flutter with each blink.
“Do you know why I come back so often?” Lumine murmured, tilting her head slightly and watching Ayaka’s cheeks turn a deep red.
“Maybe,” Ayaka whispered, averting her eyes while biting at her lip nervously. “I have an idea.”
“Then can I ask you…” Lumine licked her lips. “Why you never spoke up about it?”
“Can I ask you the same?” Ayaka asked with a small smile.
Lumine felt her cheeks heat up. It was true that she was not as direct as she could be with her feelings, but she was sure that her frequent visits and special gifts on top of that… She was sure that it would have been more than enough—and it was. Ayaka was practically confessing that she knew of the traveler’s feelings but didn’t speak up about it. Lumine cleared her throat and frowned.
“Why did you try to go forward with the courtship then? Or am I misunderstanding… And you don’t feel the same way?”
Ayaka shook her head and squeezed her hand. “I do feel the same way. It… I didn’t know if you would come back every time.”
She sighed and placed the gift on the table, a fond smile directed at it before she reached behind her head and undid her hair. Lumine watched in a daze as long hair cascaded down her backside. It was the first time that she had seen Ayaka’s hair down, never waking up early enough to witness the sight of Ayaka putting her hair up, never staying long enough to watch her undo it before bed. She untangled their fingers and reached out, delicately stroking the ends of Ayaka’s hair. The knots in her hair slowly fell apart as Lumine gently ran her fingers through them, listening to the quiet hum that Ayaka had let slip.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Ayaka whispered, her arms slipping around Lumine’s waist as she buried her nose into her shoulder. “You have places to be—you’re still searching for you brother… And what we have is so vague right now that I don’t even know how long you’ll want me.”
Lumine blinked. It had never occurred to her that Ayaka was that concerned over her travels—she always came back. This was as close to a home as she would ever have since she was separated from Aether.
“You don’t talk to me about your feelings too much.” The arms around her waist tightened. “I won’t pry, I won’t make you talk about anything, but Lumine, there’s still so much I don’t know about you.”
“I think I’m in love with you,” Lumine blurted out ungracefully. Her cheeks started to burn—this was not how she wanted to confess. She wanted to make it a bit more special… Ayaka deserved that much.
There was a moment of silence before they shuffled in their spot, Ayaka pulling away to look at Lumine with a deep blush. She opened her mouth and closed it repeatedly, flustered beyond belief. It was an endearing sight that distracted Lumine from her embarrassment, so heavily focused on the woman in her arms—so terribly in love.
A hand cupped her cheek, and she could feel how warm her cheeks were against the cool touch of Ayaka’s hand. Her lips pulled up into a warm smile, and she closed her eyes to savor the tender touch, as if she’d lose it all the moment her eyes opened.
“Me too,” Ayaka quietly responded, shy and small. “I think I’m in love with you too.”
Lumine let out a sigh and tugged Ayaka closer, eyes fluttering open to take in the sight before her. She turned to kiss Ayaka’s palm, eliciting a quiet hum from the Kamisato daughter before she gently grabbed the hand cupping her cheek. Her heart was racing, but she did her best to look as calm as possible—the thought of completely falling apart in Ayaka’s arms was embarrassing, even reasons for it were valid. The past hour has been a rollercoaster of emotions for her; how she went from despairing over unrequited feelings to feelings so warm and wanting, she did not know, but she would much rather be here.
Even with her heart broken to pieces, even if Ayaka had thoroughly rejected her, she would much rather be around her than to never set her eyes upon her again.
But that was no longer a concern—it shouldn’t even be a thought anymore. Lumine pressed kisses onto each finger and offered her a bright smile.
When she saw Ayaka’s eye light up, her cheeks painted pretty with pink, her lips pulled up into an adoring smile…
Home. This was home.