Work Text:
Gojo satoru did not feel like going home after a long day of training at jujutsu tech.
He decided to stop by a coffee shop and buy a coffee. Tiredly giving the barista a charming smile. It was part of his routine. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have the energy to, or that he was feeling almost sick to his stomach giving such attention to a stanger. He’d never thought about this kind of thing before but this small action made him more and more upset the more he thought about it. Since when had he become so sensitive? He shouldn’t care.
He sat down at a tall counter top with his distugstingly sweet decaf and a cake pop. Staring through the large glass window as the clouds perfectly framed a brilliant orange setting sun, tainting the sky with orange and pink and dusting clouds with a lavender purple, bright lights peeking through them making a gorgeous almost painting like scene in unfold in front of him. He was surprised to see this, he hadn’t noticed such things before. He felt like a large warm blanket was being taken off of him, leaving him vulnerable to everything going on, making him ten times more sensitive.
He watched the sun slowly disappear into the buildings and the orange sky melt away into a deep purple, he watched birds fly by in their groups, he watched parents and their children walk by laughing, almost feeling envious, missing something he never had. Most everyone had left the coffee shop but he had stayed, without touching his coffee or cake pop once. He had no appetite. It was dark. He threw away his items and walked out of the door, the cold air gripping his exposed face and hands. He did his best to tuck his nose into his unifrom and shoved his hands in his pockets hastily. He stood there for a moment, pondering nothing. It was nice to think about nothing. There was nobody around for him to act energetic towards. It was relieving like something was gripping it’s cold hard fingers into his rib cage, all that tension being slowly released with each passing moment, but at the same time, like that hand was protecting him, a part of him didn’t want it to leave, but another part of him was yearning to breath.
The stars began to speckle the sky as Satoru slowly and slightly reluctantly made his way home. Home almost always felt like a punishment, there was nobody around to distract him from his own thoughts but at the same time it was a place he wouldn’t have to exhaust himself. Overall he did not like his home, it was much too empty, much too depressing. The lights would radiate a dim pitiful yellow and his sheets that needed to be washed, they smelled like the sickly scent of depression.
He slowly walked along the road, kicking stones that he would come across. The occasional car driving by him, the streetlights dimly lighting up the otherwise dark path. He thought about his relationship between him and the people around him. They didn’t enjoy his company. He was choosing to act like this. This entire annoying childish personality he had made for himself was hard to keep up with. He had set impossible standards for himself that were even harder to keep up with now that..he.. was gone. Burning himself out, more and more, he didn’t know how much more he could take. His mind was telling him to use the energy he didn’t even have left. He hadn’t slept well in weeks.
The tall man crouched down and plopped himself onto a curb below a streetlight a few blocks from his apartment. It had to be around midnight by now considering all the detours he had made to avoid arriving at his home. It wasn’t a home. It was a house. It didn’t mean anything to him, just a place he’d go to have bad dreams. It was sickly how unavoidable this feeling of hopelessness was.
Are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?