Chapter Text
You should behave more like Midoriya "
The words ring through katsuki's ears, it's not something new not something unheard of rather it's something he has been listening to almost all his life
Brat, why can't you be more like Inko's son huh? Look at him he's so nice and listens to his mother
Bakubro should really take lessons from Midobro on how to not act like a gremlin
Bakugo, I'm highly disappointed in your actions, you need to fix your reputation with the public. Maybe ask deku about that
And now shouto.
Foolishly enough, Katsuki thought that he would be different, he would understand. It has not been more than 6 months they started dating, seems like icy hot is also bored with me
No he thinks, maybe he misheard it,maybe shouto didn't mean that.
Their third year in UA high. A lot of things have happened, Aoyama is now in rehab and continuing his studies in the general course as he can't get back in the hero course after him being the traitor was actually true. They were children, we still are children he thinks but we all have improved. Katsuki is taking therapy now , his anger issues are somewhat better . His phone buzzes with a notification. It's from shouto
Icyhot
Hey, katsuki want to spar with me? I booked the ground beta for an hour.
You
Okay wait for me there then
He replies. It's funny how after half a year of dating shouto is still so formal with the way he talks. He throws on his gym sweats and a loose tank top, and goes to the ground beta.
When they spar, they spar with intensity. Sparks flying , hands frosted and smoke filling their lungs from all the fire and explosions.
" You think me and Midoriya can come up with a joint attack?" Shouto asks. It's such an innocent question, but something in it feels like a dagger stabbing his heart. Why? He wants to ask. Just why? Why bring deku here , why not make a move with me? Why does Midoriya out of your mouth sound like an arrow through my heart?
Why not me?
Bile rises to his throat, he feels like suffocating. He gets up without answering Shouto's question and walks to the showers. He throws all his lunch out, his lungs burn and his head feels fuzzy . He takes a shower , scrubs his skin till it's red. He doesn't feel like it's clean, he feels his skin is tainted , so he scrubs. He scrubs to the point where he is bleeding. His head is empty of any thoughts but why.
He comes back to the dorms to see Deku with Shouto. They are sitting together while they discuss something.
"Hey kacchan" dunce face's voice rings through the dorm's common room.chorus of heys and where have you been filling the once silent dorm. But with the lack of his answers they go back to the silence.
"But Bakugo is a bit villainous" wha-?
"I mean kacchan is rather aggressive" he recognises the voice. It's deku.
"If he keeps on his act then someone oughta muzzle him" another one.
"Todobro really needs to give us lessons on how to tame the feral beast," everyone laughs. Maybe it's an inside joke. He doesn't find it funny.
♡ ♡
He lies on his bed. Head full of voices, voices that tell him he is not enough that he will never be enough unless he is like deku. He's not. He is bakugo unfortunately , he is brash,loud, outspoken,blunt villainous. He shuts them up, all these thoughts. He sleeps . Sleep is the one time he feels peaceful, the one thing he knows how to do it right, the one where he isn't advised to be like deku.