Work Text:
"This is certainly an ambiguous, morally grey area," Cas admitted.
"But he's not getting paid by the IRS to do this and it's not in conflict with an audit!" Dean immediately huffed.
"But you're propositioning an IRS agent with sex in exchange for doing your taxes?" Cas countered, voice playful as he smirked up at the mechanic shop owner. His glasses were balanced precariously low on his nose, bright blue eyes filled with mischief.
"It's not like he's going to audit me!" Dean exclaimed.
"But who would he report the relationship to incase he was asked to audit you? He would have to plead a conflict to avoid any issue," Cas replied. "It's really not a good place to be. Dean, you should have started these months ago. It will be almost impossible to determine by five if you're going to need to file an extension and if you owe additional money."
"It can't be that hard to figure out!" Dean immediately chirped. Maybe it secretly thrilled him to watch Cas get flustered. "I have the books from the business!"
"No, you have a drop box that includes every invoice paid and unpaid, every bill you receive, three copies of the same receipt from the same day? It's a hell hole Dean!" Cas quickly argued, shoving through a handful of the copious boxes. "Though I can safely agree that anything auto parts related is a business expense!"
"Come on, it was a very legitimate thing to put the shot gun on there!" Dean quickly countered. He knew where Cas was going to go with this.
"Badge please?" had been Dean's simple, polite question. The fact that it was IRS had caused an incredibly quizzical look before he'd handed the shot gun over to Cas who'd immediately ejected the shells before handing it back.
"Alright, it is in your place of business, but if you want to shore things up, make it a visible deterrent. It is common and I'll agree necessary, though I doubt you'll get robbed and need it for protection," Cas had immediately replied and Dean had immediately hated the blue-eyed intruder. "Plus, it's always comforting to know where the guns are," Cas had added with a beaming smile.
Now, though, Cas couldn't help but smile, a bit more subdued an expression, but more genuine.
"I'd been robbed repeatedly!" Dean added. He was still sore that he would never live it down.
"Most people would have installed a security camera," Cas countered, smirking up Dean. He'd dropped the prefix that he wasn't going to do Dean's taxes. He could never withstand those green eyes and that gorgeous honeyed whiskey sweet voice.
"I did, problem was they turned off the breaker and shorted out the feed. I thought about hiring a security company, but Charlie put the new cameras in and installed a battery back-up system," Dean replied, voice trailing off towards the end. Cas knew the story backwards and forwards. He didn't have to hash it out for his friend's benefit. Speaking of benefits...
"I'll cook dinner and you can chose the position," Dean relented as he watched Cas face starting to grow serious again.
Cas failed miserably to hide the smile. "Seriously, though. This will take hours and your system is horrific! Half of it's from this year! Some of it should have been last year. I wish I'd seen it then!" Cas added. "I could have gone a lot nicer on you!"
Dean shrugged. December stuff always found its way into the next year and January stuff always found its way into the previous. He needed to work on a better system, but until last year it had been Bobby's and he hadn't been able to function without the old man, much less figure out and revise his system into something that worked for Dean.
"Too bad I don't know a brilliant CPA who gave that up to be a federal government drudge working for the IRS as an auditor who I know well enough to call my best friend and could easily bribe," Dean countered.
"I'll think about it," Cas countered, glaring down at the paperwork that definitely didn't belong in taxes let alone that year. Everything Dean knew about Cas meant that was a 'yes.'
"Thanks, Cas. I know it's been... awhile, but Bobby was the only parent I had left and I was blind-sided with it. If Sam hadn't stepped in to help with some of the business, I would never have been able to keep the shop. Thank you for helping as much as you did clear up the mess I made with last year," Dean added, heart in his chest.
Cas chuckled and shifted more paperwork aside, pulling out a receipt from Harvelle's Road House. "And your food isn't an expense unless it's strictly business related and not being reimbursed by any outside source!"
"Check again Cas, that was a business meal," Dean countered, a smirk growing across his face. He'd made sure that one was there. August 3rd, 2014 — Two burgers with fries, a cherry coke, and a beer.
"A date does not count as a business meal!" Cas immediately countered, practically glowing as he looked at Dean.
“That was not a date, you were auditing me!" Dean immediately countered. "It was common and necessary!" he added jokingly.
"Common that you feed me and necessary that we go out?" Cas replied with a smirk. He'd had to teach Dean that. To be a business expense it must relate to the business, be a common expense, and necessary, but did not need to be something the business could not function without. "It was a date, I remember that I definitely got laid after that!"
"I thought we agreed to keep that between us," Dean teased, crowding into Cas space, his hip resting against Cas' side as the trench coat welding man continued scuffling through miscellaneous things. They didn't 'date,' their relationship had started on ethically questionable practices and Cas had wanted to stay above suspicion with his superiors.
Evidentially, Cas had worked his way to the bottom of the box and found a set of keys, shoving it aside as he organized the paperwork now that he had it divided by year. Dean worked patiently beside him, nodding on wither it was relevant and determining if each invoice resulted in a profit or a loss and attaching to related paperwork.
"I want to do this more often," Dean managed to say after stapling a particularly offensive set of paperwork together — the garage's electric bills.
"Your accounting, taxes, or basic organization?" Cas countered.
"Doing productive things with you, doing this with you, things that don't involve sneaking around or playing it casual at the Road House," Dean admitted, face turning a brilliant flush.
"And I want to sign my name on the line that says 'Tax Preparer' and never be faced with the possibility of having to audit you again. That was utterly exhausting!" Cas countered, exasperated and refusing to take Dean seriously.
"Hey, I really like what came out of it... but I sort of hoping you'd consider that. The putting your name on it bit," Dean bantered back, a smirk crossing his face. His oddly hopeful face. Cas hadn't seen this much optimism on Dean's face since Cas had promised to consider trading in his Ford Taurus for something that didn't have an acronym that didn't promise death or regular repairs.
"You did get to fuck me raw when it was over and I don't think I've ever found sex that much stress relief before or since," Cas countered.
"We were already sleeping together!" Dean retorted, eyebrows high.
"Yeah, but after that I could reasonably lie and say it started after I determined your tax liability," Cas teased, reaching out to twist his fingers through Dean's. "Seriously, though, we're probably about forty percent done. I can do the schedule 'A's and the 'B's, but I can't do the 'C's yet and I want to look at if you're going to call Sam your dependent since he's under 24 and you're still helping him with school. You can give him the money back from the Lifetime Learning Credit and he can use it towards secondary expenses with grad school or to pay down more of his student loans."
"Thank the government for you, you stupid bureaucrat. Where would I be without you," teased Dean, leaning in to steal a heated kiss.
"Paying a ridiculous fee to the government for the money they assumed you stole verses getting a measly tax refund for sixteen dollars?" Cas challenged. "And picking up women in bars."
Dean shook his head, turning to wrap his right hand on Cas' upper arm and grip him tight. "You saved me from Hell. I know your job is to find the bad guys, but really, you helped an amazing amount and I don't think I'd have ever been able to keep the shop without your help," Dean whispered, fighting to keep from choking on the emotion in his voice.
"Dean, seriously, get down to the post office and file the extension. I'll figure out the rest of this this weekend and we can have a movie marathon to celebrate when it's done," Cas suggested, pushing at his lover's side to try and move the suddenly smirking Dean.
Dean held up a small certified mail slip. "I kinda did that two weeks ago," he whispered, before dropping kisses on his boyfriend's neck. "We've got time, but I like you chiding me on my stupid shit."
Cas shot Dean an offended look. Hours working on this! It had been amazing, but there had been no need. They could have been doing anything else, even each other! "Then what was this all about?" Cas asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Getting into your head space on maybe... making this thing public? Maybe getting you to put your name on the business paperwork and move out of that shity rental? You hate your land lord..." Dean suggested, blush crossing his features as he considered how to talk Cas into this.
Cas just looked up at him, wide eyed before shifting, looking to the keys and laughing — loudly. "And here I thought they must belong to some poor customer!"
"Nope, I completely chickened out!"
"Dean, I love you," Cas replied before reaching out and grabbing his boyfriend's sleeve. Dean practically melted when Cas pulled gently and almost immediately Dean poured himself into Cas lap, kissing the tax angel's chapped lips.
"So is it a morally questionable thing to ask the man I'm living with and in love with to help me file my taxes so that I don't make a tremendous disaster out of them?" Dean asked, smirking as he whispered against Cas' lips.
"Only if they find out about what you were doing during that audit, Dean."
