Archive of Our Own

Jisu would think that for all of the lifetimes she had been alive, she would have gotten used to the tedious planning of itineraries in the countries she's going to move to, the booking of the places she would lodge in to spend a specific lifetime, and the agonizingly long process of confirming her passports and buying plane tickets. But as she gets in line when the overhead speakers begin their litany of "...passengers of Flight X362KR, please proceed to Gate 2. I repeat, passengers…" she can't help but think how silly she must have looked in comparison to the grandness of her own nature.

Her, an immortal who could slice a human in half in a matter of a blink, is forced to commune with humans as they fit themselves in a flying piece of metal in order to get to somewhere. If she wasn't intelligent enough, she would say fuck it and travel through the use of her own powers (walking on water is a favorite of hers, a complete mocking of a god who doesn not exist yet people pay money to believe in anyway), but that would appear otherworldly and as much as Jisu would love to stand out, she promised herself that for her hundredth life she would explore the world of the mundane.

Hence, the airplane trip.

The slow waddle to her seat was rather uneventful, thank the gods, so she was free to enjoy her window seat with abandon. She wasn't a stranger to heights, but there's something about views from way up in the sky that she can't help but crave especially as the plane begins its ascent. Jisu especially likes it when the people and cities and islands get tinier and tinier before truly disappearing in a mass of clouds, fully entertained at the image that pops into her head at the sight.

Of her rising above as a god that never dies, and mortals lie beneath her feet.

The house she picked to live in in this lifetime is an "abandoned mansion", as advertised by the post she has seen once in a forum on the computer. The Internet is something she had grown up with (she was there when the first computer was created after all), but couldn't really be bothered to study. She couldn’t really be bothered to study it, much more confident in studying the world through personal experience and “hands-on” activities.

Nevertheless, the house is decrepit enough to stay out of sight from the locals. The grass is well overdue for a trim as it spills over the pathway towards the door, and Jisu can see how the shingles of the room are barely holding on for dear life. She would need to do some repairing at some point, always an immortal with a penchant for good interior design, but there’s an ache in her shoulder caused by an uncomfortable airplane seat. 

Deciding to take a short nap first, she enters through the wooden double doors and into the carpeted landing. There’s a staircase right in front of her that has itself a little island where it divides up into two, presumably into the west and east wings of the house. Dead and center of the staircase island was a portrait of a girl, whose young face has Jisu thinking that the muse was no more than eighteen years old.

She had just stepped forward to trace the painting, a little tickle in her brain curious if it was made with legitimate oils in the style of an impasto that would explain it surviving for all of these years, fingers reaching out to touch the girl’s painted cheek when there was a voice whispering from her right.

“Mother always said to never touch the portraits.”

A knife whistles out into the air in the direction of the intruder, Jisu’s senses heightened at the fact that someone had the audacity to sneak up on her while she was distracted. She hides the shock as she jumps from the landing and turns her back to the doors, assessing the situation.

She wasn’t even aware of the sound their steps had made or even the inhale and exhale of their breaths. She wants to attribute it to being old, it is her hundredth lifetime after all, but that would be an excuse.

She was careless. Being careless gets you killed.

Her eyes tracked the knife she had just thrown, somewhere up the right staircase, but the sight had her jaw hanging open, whispering “impossible” underneath her breath.

The knife should have been embedded in the intruder’s head, spilling blood upon the worn out carpet and a body lying lifeless on the ground, not sticking out of the hardwood that make up the house’s walls like a dart on a board. There’s no body anywhere , so Jisu scans the room left and right, top and bottom, in search of the voice. 

She couldn’t have missed it! She was an immortal hunter! People like her do not miss!

“That tickles. Is that how you greet people from where you’re from?”

Jisu throws another knife, this time confident that this time her knife would find its mark. 

The blade swings to her left and she hears a soft thud . She would have rejoiced if only not for the fact that again, the knife is sticking out of the wall instead of being blade-deep inside a human body. 

"This is fun! Do it again!"

Jisu clenches her hands at the side, embarrassed and infuriated.

"Who are you?!" Jisu grits out, hand palming another knife that she fully intends to use. She backs up into a wall to oversee her surroundings, eyes scanning every inch of the landing.

Once she gets her hands on it, she promises she'll make its death nice and slow. Pain befalls those who mock gods like her.

"I thought we were playing? That question is absolutely just rude! This is my house!" The voice answered, Jisu's ears picking up what suspiciously seems like a pout. 

"Not anymore. Show yourself!" Jisu snarls, arms up to defend herself in case the thing gets any ideas of attacking her. She has been shamed twice, no need to add a third.

The ticking of a clock catches her attention. 

Jisu whips her head to the upstairs landing, eyes stuck on the little island where the portrait was displayed. There she sees it.

A girl.

The girl was dressed impeccably in a white nightgown, albeit the bottoms are dirtied with dust and mud. Her hair is black as the night, tumbling long and loose over her shoulders. She wears nothing else; no shoes or sandals on her feet. 

One damning thing that Jisu can observe is an old pocket watch that hangs from the girl's neck like a necklace, colored a tarnished gold with the hands moving accordingly that it almost seemed loud in the silence.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

She tightens her hold on the knife, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

"Now you have seen me. Can we please introduce ourselves? I was not raised to be impolite to guests." 

Now that Jisu can see her, she catches the pout she had picked up on earlier. She seems familiar but Jisu can't place where she had seen her. In a magazine, maybe?

"Who are you?" Jisu asks cautiously, already calculating the trajectory her knife would have to be thrown in to ensure a perfect hit, as she stares up at the girl.

The girl looks at her expectantly, no sliver of fear in those round, brown eyes. Jisu shivers at the expense of herself.

"See for yourself." 

The girl moves to the side and reveals the portrait Jisu was admiring just moments ago. It took just a second for Jisu to place the similarities. 

The girl in the portrait is the same girl standing before her. Down to the eyes and nose and mouth.

Her eyes dive into the rusting plaque at the bottom of the painting, and the implications of the date suddenly clicks.

1392.

If her history is correct, that would be over centuries ago back to Korea's imperial era or rather the tail-end of the Goryeo dynasty. There's no chance of the girl even being alive at this point in time. If the girl was indeed the same one standing in front of her, head cocked to the side and waiting for Jisu to say something, it could only mean one thing.

She's fighting someone who's already dead.

Her name was Yuna, "Shin Yuna! The great daughter of Royal Clockmaker Shin Yoonseo!" , and according to her, she was eighteen years old when she died.

“That necklace…”

“This old thing? This was my father’s. He always had one in his pocket, being a clockmaker and all, and I was so green with jealousy that he had this fashioned for me to wear around my neck. Mother has always thought it was odd, having a clock for a pendant, but I loved it anyway as it reminds me of my family.”

“Is it awkward of me to ask how you died?”

“Not at all, but I really can’t say for sure. All I know is that we had a party that night, in celebration of my eighteenth year. All my friends from the neighboring towns came to visit, and even the Royal Majesty stopped by to have a drink with Father. It was a rather lovely evening, I would say. Mother even commissioned the special portrait as a token of my youth that I can take to my own home when I get married in the future.”

“That’s weird.”

“Very peculiar, yes. I fell asleep having the most amazing of birthdays and waking up like this… I can’t explain how hysterical I was.”

“I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! It’s neither of our faults at all. I’m actually ecstatic that you’re here. It’s been a while since I last had decent company.”

“When was the last time?”

“A century ago? Or maybe even two. Time moves differently in this town. Will you be staying long?”

“N… Haven’t thought that far ahead, actually. Might mess around and find a reason to stay if I can.”

“Oh, goodie! But if you're asking me, it looks like you don't need much convincing!”

Jisu later finds out that Yuna passes the time by repairing clocks.

Yuna was just showing her around the house, after a considerate amount of time with Jisu confirming that Yuna is indeed harmless and unable to hurt her in any way, and was fully immersed in her role as master of the mansion and is dedicated to explain what is the purpose of each of the rooms. It wasn't a large one to begin with, speaking honestly, but even Jisu is amused at the thought of a room just being utilized for tea.

"Just for tea?"

"Well, we do have scones sometimes!"

They were about to go downstairs to fix something for Jisu to eat, "ghosts don't eat, silly!" , when she notices a room that she's confident she hasn't entered throughout the tour. Naturally, she's curious enough to ask and goes as far as to test the knob.

"Oh! That's where I keep my clocks!" Yuna excitedly announces as she opens the door herself, putting a little pressure as she pushes the door open so that Jisu could fit inside. She doesn't really know what to expect, but the sight that greets her is enough to knock out the breath she wasn't even aware she was holding.

It was a room full of clocks.

All four sides of the room are filled with it, none of them exactly synchronized but follow a similar beat as the hands move down the seconds.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

There's a worktable to the right side of the door, messy with work tools and clock parts that Jisu can't make heads or tails about so she doesn't even try. Yuna, on the other hand, charges forward and waves her arms around the room.

"These are my clocks! I fixed all of them myself!" Yuna boasts proudly, puffing up her chest that moves the pocket watch hanging from her neck as she grins proudly. Jisu answers with an awed expression that seems to placate Yuna's need for validation. The girl then moves to her work table to fetch what seems to be some sort of gear in Jisu's opinion.

"This is my latest work! Every clock that possesses this gear will be able to rewind their clocks in seconds! It's perfectly mobile and can last for years!" 

It was a shiny, little thing, the size of a coin and Jisu watches Yuna insert it inside one of the abandoned clocks on the table. With just a few twists and turns, the clock began to work and immediately followed the tune set off by its neighbors on the walls.

"Isn't that fancy." Jisu muses and that makes Yuna beam as the girl hangs the fixed clock on a space on the wall. She absentmindedly thinks that in the whole mess that are clocks on the wall, everything fits so well together.

"Absolutely! Makes my work a whole lot easier too! Now let's go downstairs so I can fix you something to eat. You must be famished!"

Yuna exits the door in a flash, still chattering about what she could make for Jisu considering that there is little to no food inside the mansion since she doesn't eat any. Jisu stays for another moment longer as she stares at the clocks all in perfect working order, before taking her leave with a smile on her face.

She doesn't dare bring up the topic of digital clocks to Yuna.

"Are all the clocks yours or…"

"Oh! The townspeople leave that on my doorstep sometimes. I don't really understand the logistics of it but I am content with it. It helps me pass the time!"

"Maybe it's an offering?"

"Offering? I can't quite follow."

"People leave offerings for gods a lot, especially in other countries. Says that it gives them good fortune or whatever. People leave food most of the time, but rich people leave gold and gems."

"Isn't that wasteful, though? Gods aren't physical beings so I wouldn't know what they would do with that kind of offering. At least the clocks are useful, and I'm not even a god to begin with!"

"Strange is the world, it seems."

"How about you? What do you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you certainly talk like you've lived for a very long time and I am very much confident that you are no ghost with the way you're consuming food. Are you… a god?"

"Well, you can put it that way. In some of my past lives, I grew up with human parents. Sometimes I manifest at an older age where I don't have to go through the process of childhood. It's very random, where my powers take me."

"Doesn't it get tiring?"

"A little. This is my hundredth life and I manifested as a twenty-something adult, so in celebration I told myself that I can take the time to learn about humans, what they do, and just live quietly."

"That sounds so fascinating! You do look younger for a twenty-something, I would have to say. Is it all magical?" 

"Now that I think about it, I'm not really sure…"

"Oh well! You have this lifetime to learn all about it anyway."

"Jisu-unnie."

"Aren't you the unnie? You're way older than me."

"You look older, though."

"What does appearance have to do with it?!"

"Everything, unnie."

Time is slow in the countryside, but Jisu doesn't really notice.

Hard to notice it when the ghost owner of the house is stuck in a tree and while she can clear ten feet off the ground easily, it's another matter when gravity hits and Jisu is dragging along Yuna who's a head taller than her.

The ghost owner in discussion was just chasing around a cat she saw lying about the house. For some reason only the universe can explain, the cat has been alerted of her presence and ran up to the old pine tree hanging on the front yard of the mansion. Yuna in turn chased after it and scaled up the same tree without thinking twice. When she managed to wrangle the cat into her embrace, she let out a panicked scream as she couldn't figure out how to get back down while holding the cat. 

Jisu was fixing the garden boxes on the front porch when she heard Yuna's cry for help and immediately went to see what was wrong, only to see Yuna’s predicament.

Hence, their current situation.

Yuna is a ghost, so in what Hell did she manage to get stuck in a tree?!

Jisu can't really understand the logistics of it at the moment as Yuna is screeching out what Jisu guesses is another scream as the branch she's sitting on is making sounds that sound a lot like it's breaking.

"Unnie! Help!"

"Yuna, don't move! I'm going to get you!"

Jisu does her best to get to Yuna’s level without shaking the tree too much, doing so would incite another scream from Yuna, and motions for the girl to listen. She takes pity in the way the girls’ eyes shine with unshed tears, absolutely terrified of heights.

“Okay, listen to me. Give me the cat so you can get down first. You remember how to climb down?” Jisu asks. When she sees Yuna give a hesitant nod, she opens up her arms for the cat to be deposited without a shortage of “careful, careful!” from Yuna. Once the cat has been transferred to Jisu’s care, Yuna begins her safe descent from the tree and Jisu finally lets out a relieved sigh she had been holding onto when Yuna’s feet finally touches the ground.

Now, it’s her turn to get down the tree.

It was supposed to be easy, she’s an immortal who has faced more significant trials in her life, but the cat in her arms reminds her of the reason why she had always liked dogs more than these heathens.

Dogs listen to their owners. Cats don’t give a damn about their owners.

Sensing Yuna is far away from it, the cat begins squirming in Jisu’s grip. Jisu, in her defense, was scared that if she let go of the cat it could potentially run away, and that would then lead to a teary-eyed Yuna who just wanted a pet and a frustrated Jisu who would have climbed up the pine tree for nothing.

So it squirms but Jisu doesn’t let go. Which proves to be the wrong move because the more Jisu holds on, the worse the squirming becomes. Jisu is reminded of handling slippery fish as she tries her best to tighten her embrace, but the cat is determined to escape. In what could be called as foul play, the cat bit Jisu’s arm that then caused the following pandemonium:

Jisu wrapping her hands around the cat’s neck in revenge for biting her, which led to her hands being occupied. The motion sends her tipping forward and with her hands buried in fur, she’s unable to keep her balance. She feels the wind in her arms and as much as she wants to stretch out her arms to break her fall, Jisu can't risk letting go of the cat. 

Hello, ground.

"Unnie! Are you okay?" 

The sound of that question and the look on Yuna's face is what brings Jisu back to life. Jisu's lying flat on her back, trying to remember what it's like to breathe and pretending that the wound on her arm isn't bleeding. She turns her head to look at the perpetrator that just gives her a small meow .

"Fucking cat. I will fucking end you and everything you ever loved. I swear I will hunt you down through all of your nine lives until the last one where I will make you death painfully slow. I will dunk you in water again and again and I'll even throw you out of a fucking window. Fucking cat." Jisu hisses and makes a move towards it when Yuna scoops the cat into her arms.

"And you saved this kitty! Thank you, unnie, for saving Sarang~" Yuna sing songs as she cuddles the cat up to her neck, the heathen snuggling close as if it didn't just give the ghost a heart attack. As if it didn't just cause Jisu's body to meet an early death.

It had the gall to turn its head to look at her, acting high and mighty, as it purrs into Yuna's neck. It even sticks out its tongue mockingly, and Jisu would have flung it back to the tree if only Yuna wasn't so happy holding it.

Fucking cat.

"Unnie, can you build a small house for Sarang? I think this little kitty wants a mansion of her own!"

Fuck!

"Is it scary, being you?”

“At first, when I didn’t know any better. My first life ended when I was just twelve. It was the time of the plague in Europe, if I’m remembering it right. Lots of rats in that lifetime. Next thing I knew, I was alive and living as a rich man’s daughter in America.”

“You can’t control it?”

“Nope. I think I still get confused sometimes. I’m both mortal and immortal like, I can still die but I can’t stay dead. My body will go, but then it’s my soul that transfers to another body. And that’s how I live again.”

“And you just do that? Over and over?”

“That’s the way things have been going, yeah.”

“Don’t you get bored?”

“Never.”

“Don’t you get tired?”

“Sometimes.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“All the time.”

“Well, I’m more than glad you decided to spend this lifetime of yours here. I’ve been lonely too… but less so.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you’re here, unnie. I don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“I’m… I’m glad I’m here with you, too.”

Jisu doesn’t know what changed.

She had tried her best to remain unattached, as what she did for her previous lives. She would only form relationships if the situation ever calls for it, and she would break them if the need ever arises without a second thought. As long as she can move along in her life, she is willing to do whatever it takes to do it, and that includes ruining people’s trust beyond repair.

Because those people will forget, sooner or later. No matter the intensity of her betrayals, they will forget Jisu as soon as they die.

But Jisu never forgets.

Such is the curse of someone who can live forever, life after life after life.

She made the mistake once, of trusting the people around her, and that was the last time she ever did.

It was her first life, somewhere in the murky streets of London. It was the age of the Black Death, with over thirty-one thousand people dead in August, 1665. Her family was one of the poorer ones, with too many mouths to feed but with too little coin. Nevertheless, it was a happy house (or how happy as one poor family can be). Her siblings dote on her as she was the youngest, and her parents have always favored her.

It was just unfortunate that she became sick. 

She was one of the smaller ones that had been infected, but was slowly starting to regain her strength. She could have regained all of it if it weren’t for her father’s scheming.

Apparently her father, the main male figure in their little house, was squirreling away the money they were to use for her treatment and was spending it on horses in attempts of “winning a fortune”. It was gambling abuse at it’s finest, but there was nothing Jisu’s family could have done to make it stop.

She died being unable to breathe, and cursed the sorry way her father looked as she passed.

As if he was regretful of spending on animals instead of his own daughter’s care.

When she reincarnated again, she swore she would never make the same mistake and immediately distanced herself from anybody she thinks she won’t need in the future, only speaking when spoken to, and only relying on people that can prove themselves useful to her.

This way, she won’t get hurt.

So how did she get from “no attachments, no pain” to this ?

It was a summer day in the town’s small park. The sun was high up in the air and it was too hot to stay inside where no wind ever passes by. Jisu decided to take Yuna there after learning that Yuna has never stepped out of the mansion, with the defense of not knowing where she would even go. 

It seems that time has passed only outside of the house and Yuna’s memory has stayed the same, completely unaware that the town she was born in has transformed into modernity.

Jisu has pointed out the delights of the world to Yuna as would a guide to a tourist, way too technical still but understandable in a sense that Yuna’s eyes have never stopped shining since they stepped into the little plaza.

“This is cotton candy. A kind of food made from sugar that’s been melted and spun so it forms this fluffy shape.”

“It tastes like a sweet cloud! I didn’t know clouds can taste like strawberries!”

“Now, this is what they call coffee. It’s full of caffeine and can keep you awake for hours.”

“This is unforgivably bitter. Don’t they have milk in here? Better yet, some tea would be sufficient. Scones too!”

“I think that is what they ‘busking’, or playing music in public where they can expect monetary compensation that’s completely voluntary.”

“I don’t quite understand the song, but she looks so nice and that song sounds delightful! Can you give me some money to put inside her hat? Mother always let me give money to our performers back in the day.”

In the aftermath of a sugar crash, Yuna had a field day with the cotton candy machine, they plopped down onto one of the empty spaces in the park. Yuna settled by sitting against a tree and with little coercion, Jisu’s head has managed to find itself square on Yuna’s lap. She would have protested more but has been rendered speechless as Yuna’s fingers sift through her hair, gently stroking her skin in the process. The unspoken annoyance remains as such.

She does her best in staying awake, but her eyes grow heavy every time she feels the ghost’s hand move around in her hair comfortingly. Jisu thinks she fell asleep at some point, because Yuna is shaking her awake to see the sunset.

Jisu was just about to whine but Yuna just smiled, saying that watching the sunset with Jisu is the least she could do. The immortal had just shown her what the world is like, it was only fair that Yuna shares something just as magical.

Yuna gazes at the sunset with an awestruck look on her face.

Jisu looks at Yuna, and wonders what had changed.

“Unnie?”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever fallen in love before?”

“Not that I remember. Why?”

“In all your hundred lives?!”

“Yes…? Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little.”

“Why did you ask anyway?”

“Just curious… I’ve always wondered what it would be like. To fall in love, I mean.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be very helpful then. I stayed away from love all my lives… it’s not worth the pain it’ll cost me.”

“But… how do you know?”

“Know what?”

“If it’s worth it.”

“You just know. I can’t really tell you a lot, but people do say that sometimes love just happens. Like you wake up and you realize that you’ve been in love with someone all this time.”

“And… that’s okay?”

“Of course. Love is love, love is valid, love is worth it.”

“Unnie?”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Yu-”

“I’m sorry. It’s just been on my mind for a few months now and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I don’t know much about love, and I admit it. But… There's no logical explanation for the butterflies I feel when I see your smile or the blankness that takes over my mind when you call my name. It happens and all I can think about is ‘is this what love’s supposed to feel like?’”

“Ok-”

“And I get it! I’m inexperienced and I could never compare to the people you had for your past lifetimes and I get it! I’m just a silly old ghost who lives in a mansion in the middle of nowhere and of all the things I could have done right, I did the exact opposite when you came here and stayed.”

“Can-”

“I’m really sorry, unnie. I tried to fight it, I swear! I just-”

“...”

“...”

“Can I talk now?”

“You just kissed me.”

“As is customary for people who share the same feelings.”

“What?”

“I said, as is cu-”

“I heard you. I mean, does this mean what I think it means?”

“Yes, Shin Yuna, yes. I’m in love with you, too.”

“Since when?”

“I’m not sure. I just know that I do.”

“You woke up, and just knew?”

“You can say that.”

She knows exactly when.

It was when she was still gasping for breath after falling from the tree, but she wasn’t even bothered enough to bitch about it. How could she? Yuna is right in front of her, twirling and twirling while holding Sarang close to her cheek, looking like an absolute dream and Jisu doesn’t want to wake up.

She fell from that tree, and has been falling for Yuna ever since.

The summer gives way to autumn, the once green leaves turning a pretty shade of yellow that has Yuna staring out the window just to watch them fall. Jisu would rather spend her time cuddling the ghost in her arms, letting Yuna press an ear to her chest because Yuna is fascinated with the way it beats, having long forgotten what it was like to have one that works.

Fire crackles from the fireplace that Yuna didn’t even know the mansion has even possessed. It took a little cleaning, and a whole lot of soot, but the spark in Yuna’s eyes as the embers came alive has made all the coughing fits Jisu endured worth it. Not to mention the whole introduction of marshmallows and Jisu teaching Yuna the wonders of smores.

“You roast the marshmallows then you put it in this graham cracker. Add a layer of chocolate and another cracker. Humans say these taste good.”

“Unnie! My marshmallow is black!”

“Hang on, love. I’ll make you another one.”

They spend their days together, with Yuna working on the clocks people still leave at her doorstep while Jisu sits beside her, restoring one of the many books she had found inside of the Shin libraries. Sarang takes to staring at the clocks, her tail swishing with every sound they make.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

On the last day before winter finally takes over, Yuna asks Jisu if she can sing.

“What?”

“Can you sing for me?”

Damn Shin Yuna and her puppy eyes! It was wholly unfair that out of everything in the world, Jisu would be rendered powerless and weak with just one look from the ghost. She’s immortal! She’s supposed to be immune to such things! She’s stronger than that!

“Please?”

So she does.

Jisu sings of spring, of blossoming flowers that fill gardens with colors and clear skies so blue it would make oceans and seas jealous.

Jisu sings of summer, of skin burnt from the scorching sun and rains that sound so ridiculously calming as it pours down.

Jisu sings of autumn, of pumpkin spice invading the scent of the wind and yellow leaves falling like stars from treetops.

Jisu sings of winter, of cups of hot chocolate between freezing hands and lovers huddled close together in attempts to keep warm.

She doesn't remember the last time she sang so freely, so recklessly and full of abandon. She has never felt safe enough to do so.

But then came Yuna, who had the power to ask of her for anything. If the ghost asks for the moon, Jisu might as well take down the damned stars too. 

And Yuna doesn't even know it.

"That sounds so beautiful. I'm not as well-versed as you when it comes to languages but if I could take a guess, is it French?"

"Spot on, my love. It's titled 'Je l'aime à mourir' or 'I Love Her to Death' by Francis Cabrel. I watched one of his performances when I decided to spend a life in Europe. It was cool."

"Did you know… I really adore it when you sing?"

"Why's that?"

"Because you smile so sweetly when you do. Even your eyes have that sort of light that only appears when I ask you if you could sing for me."

"It's because of you."

"What do you mean?"

"I smile when I sing because I'm singing for you. Every note, every verse. It's all for you. That's why I'm happy when I sing. Because when I sing, I make you happy too."

Peace, for all it's worth, never lasts.

There was a clamor in the town, about a mansion with a ghost that fixes clocks. People say that there’s another being residing in there, restoring the house to its former glory and lending her services to its master. Whispers speak of revenge, that the ghost has finally had enough of the small town neglecting its presence, of offering broken clocks as if that is all the ghost is worth.

They say it won’t be long until all hell breaks loose.

But they did not hear any of it, too blinded by the glow of their blooming relationship. Why else would Jisu listen to the talk of the town full of people she doesn’t even know, if she could be drowning in the way Yuna laughs as she dances through the mansion’s hallways, Sarang meowing at her feet and all Jisu can do is look.

Jisu should really have seen it coming. 

It started out innocently enough.

“Unnie, what is this?”

Yuna asks her, holding up what seems to be a grandfather clock. Jisu wipes her hands on her pants, she was trying to measure out the wood panels she would be using to replace the ones by the stairs’ landing, and walks over to where Yuna was standing. It does seem like a grandfather clock, one that is smaller than usual and would be hung on walls rather than to stand on its own.

“Well, they call that a ‘grandfather clock’. Isn’t that common here?”

“Not so much, I would say. I have not seen anything like it before.”

“This kind of clock is known to be antiques and often designed to make a sound every hour. Is it broken?”

“It seems like it, since the hands are not moving. What does this panel do?”

“Oh, some clocks like these are designed in a way that when it’s the hour, a figurine comes out of the clock and makes the noise. As far as I can remember, birds are the usual fanfare.”

Yuna was delighted by that, clutching the clock close and swore to fix it immediately. Jisu just smiles and presses a kiss to Yuna’s cheek, too enamored not to, and leaves her to it. She hears Yuna’s steps up the stairs towards the clock room, with Sarang in tow, and Jisu resumes working on the landing.

She was humming a tune underneath her breath when she heard a noise coming from upstairs. Against her will, her heart hammers against her ribcage at the implications.

“Love? Was that you?” She tries, waiting for Yuna to respond that it was her, that she just dropped something from her table, that she’s all right.

Jisu hears nothing.

The hammering in her chest intensifies as she climbs up the stairs, two at a time, and nearly rips off the door to the clock room from its hinges. She’s praying to every god she knows that Yuna just didn't hear her call and would be looking at her with a smile when she asks if she’s okay.

Her heart stops when Jisu sees Yuna slumped down on the floor with the grandfather clock broken by her feet, still and unmoving.

She rushes forward, cradling the fallen girl in her arms to shake her awake, mumbling Yuna’s name over and over in a broken whisper.

“Yuna? Love? Wake up for me? What happened to you?”

Jisu rips the whimper out of her throat, unwilling to break down now when Yuna doesn’t respond to the call of her name. She cups the ghost’s cheek when she retracts back her hand almost immediately, hissing lowly at the heat that bloomed in her palm when she touched Yuna’s skin. She spots a dusting of fine white powder by Yuna’s jaw that has her blood boiling.

Powdered mermaid bones.

Jisu almost can’t believe it. The last time she encountered someone using mermaid bones, she was on a remote island in Southeast Asia, where lore and mythologies are more than just entertainment but rather a way of life. They use drums and fireworks to drive out evil spirits. They wave tails of stingrays to ward off monsters. They pound away mermaid bones to trap and kill ghosts.

Yuna is still here, in her arms, so she tries calling out to her love again but to no avail. The only thing that is keeping Jisu from killing every living thing within a 6-mile radius is the fact that Yuna is yet to disappear into thin air, as what the stories have told her of ghosts being killed with mermaid bones. She’s still here with Jisu and she wants to keep it that way.

Jisu carries her to their bedroom and with utmost care lays her down on the bed, fixing the clothes that crinkled when Yuna fell to the ground. She would have lied down next to her but she doesn’t want to miss the moment Yuna’s eyes will open again. Stupidly so, Jisu thinks that Yuna still looks beautiful as she lies stiff on the red sheets, almost like Yuna has just fallen asleep.

Jisu hasn’t let go of Yuna’s hand, intent to hold it until Yuna wakes up. Sarang sits beside her and gives a soft meow , as if in support to the inner turmoil forming deep inside Jisu’s heart.

Jisu wonders if this is how Yuna’s existence will end.

“Fucking mermaids. I will fucking end every single one of you for hurting her and I will never forgive you. I swear to every god in the universe this will be the last time your bones will ever exist. I will burn down every sea, every ocean, every body of water where you can live and burn it until all I can see is sand. Fucking mermaids.” Jisu murmurs underneath her breath after she has wiped away any trace of the powder. She would have thrown away the washbowl if not only for a well- missed voice to reach her ears, albeit softer than what she’s normally used to.

“Y-you’re thinking scary thoughts again.”

The washbowl does fall to the ground but Jisu can care less about the water splattering on the floor when the love of her life is awake. Finally .

“No, I wasn’t.” Jisu attempts to tease, but it’s hard to throw a joke when tears suddenly welled up in her eyes at the sight of Yuna’s weak smile. She lets go when Yuna cups her cheek as she leans in towards the touch she sorely missed.

“You are. You did the same on the day I got Sarang.”

“Are you telling me you can read my thoughts?”

“I’m saying that you get this little furrow between your brows when you’re thinking scary thoughts.”

Jisu was about to reply back when Yuna coughs, a sharp sound that alerts Jisu to worry. Yuna clutches at her chest, and just by that Jisu knows that the mermaid bones have integrated way too deep into Yuna’s system for her to draw out. She clenches her hands at her sides and like magic, Yuna’s hands reach for hers to smoothen them out.

“What happened?” Jisu asks, the resolve over her anger wavering.

“I fixed the clock. I waited for the hour to come so I could see the panel open and reveal what you were talking about. The next thing I was aware of, a cloud of powder was all over my face. It burned and it hurt so much that I hit the floor. I tried to call for you but I couldn’t speak.” 

Before Jisu knows it Yuna has buried her face in Jisu’s chest, tears wetting the front of her shirt as Yuna tightens her grip at Jisu’s sides.

“I’m so sorry for worrying you. I didn’t know what was going to happen because I couldn’t understand why I was hurting. I’m a ghost and nothing and no one has managed to hurt me for centuries. I don’t know what the powder even was.”

“It’s mermaid bones. They’re used to trap and even kill ghosts. I don’t know how they managed to smuggle that, much less fit the powder into the clock, but they did. I was so worried that you wouldn’t wake up again. That would break my heart.”

Silence reigns as Yuna’s sobs taper off and Jisu dries the tears on her cheeks. She holds Yuna tighter, wanting to delay the inevitable because she can’t handle the truth. Maybe, if she stays still, time will stop and they won’t have to deal with the world ever again.

But Yuna was brave, always so strong in places Jisu was weak.

“Am I… going to disappear?” Yuna asks.

“Yes.” Is all Jisu could offer.

She wants to make it better.

She wants to kill whoever decided to hurt Yuna.

She wants… something that is no longer in the cards.

“What were you thinking?” Yuna whispers, pressing her cheek to Jisu’s shoulder and holding her impossibly closer.

“Burning down mermaids.” Jisu whispers back, running her hands up and down Yuna’s back as she tries to memorize the feeling of her heart beating against Yuna’s chest.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to go to the beach.”

Yuna says that so casually that Jisu laughs, head thrown back into a cackle. She nods her head in agreement, and they make plans to go tomorrow right away. Jisu vows to make it the best beach experience Yuna will ever have in her life.

Because every single second not making Yuna smile is a second wasted. 

“It’s so pretty… would you really burn it down?”

“Not today, since you seem so attached to it.”

"I am! Seasides were not high on the Shin Family's list of vacation spots, so this is just one of the few rare times I can admire the sea for what it is." 

“Where does your family usually go?”

“We mostly just travel to our house in the mountains. Father always told us that the air was fresher there since it was far from town and city pollution, but there was really nothing for me to do there except stare at cows.”

“I would love to do cow staring though.”

“And watch you get annoyed and threaten to push them over because all they do is chew grass? I’m not fond of that idea.”

“That was ONE time.”

“Sarang was just sitting next to me!”

“She was occupying my seat! I told her to move!”

“You’re so annoying!”

“I love you too!”

“That’s unfair! You can’t just say that!”

“It’s true, though.”

“I know.”

“...”

“...”

“Do you really have to go?”

“Unnie…”

“Why can’t you just stay with me?”

“I feel the light calling, unnie. My body grows weaker every day, and it only hurts every time I stay away from it.”

“Maybe it’s just the powder. Didn’t I tell you I can fix it? Just give me some more time and I’ll-”

“Love, please.”

“Yuna…”

“I may not know what’s happening, but I can say for sure that I will not be able to stay as long as I first thought. We… we have to accept it for what it is.”

“But-”

“And it’s okay. As much as I wanted to stay, my body and mind will go… and I would rather disappear with all my memories of you intact than to die while slowly forgetting what it’s like to hold your hand or the way your heart beats impossibly faster when I’m close to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Like I said back then, it’s neither of our faults that things ended up this way. We didn’t know what was going to occur when we received that clock nor did we know it was going to lead to this. But if I have to apologize for something, it would be to leave you.”

“And mine is to apologize for not being able to protect you. I’m so sorry, my love. I’m sorry.”

“Can we forgive each other then for our faults? Before I have to go?”

“I… I forgive you for leaving me. Because I know if you could, you would stay.”

“And I forgive you as well, because you did everything you could to make me happy. Thank you.”

“Yuna…”

“It’s okay, unnie. Take care of Sarang for me?”

“I will.”

“I’m not rushing you, but I just want to say that I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t know where I’m going yet but… I’ll wait for you to come home to me.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Jisu. So much it hurts.”

“I love you too.”

“I’m so tired, unnie.”

“Yeah? Hold on, let me make your bed for you, love.”

Yuna disappears by the next morning.  It takes everything in Jisu not to set everything she sees on fire.

Instead she cleans up the mess she left, feeding Sarang the leftovers as she whispers “it’s just you and me now” .

She doesn’t look back, settles for the sound of waves crashing against the rocks as she leaves.

Funny, if she listens hard enough she could almost hear Yuna’s laugh.

The mansion feels empty without Jisu’s songs, without Yuna’s tinkering, even devoid of Sarang’s loud yowling. Jisu tries not to be bothered by it but it seems impossible to do.

How does one even try how to live in a house made for two?

Time slows down, a snail-like pace that has Jisu itching inside her skin, restless and irritated. Plates find themselves destroyed to smithereens and doors ripped out of their hinges. She unleashes her anger on things that can be broken because they can be fixed. She broke Yuna, and there is no way she could ever remedy that.

So she breaks, hits, destroys things on sight. It doesn’t matter that blood had started to drip from where fragments had caught her skin nor the wounds that scar over only to bleed when she picks at it. Nothing would ever compare to the pain she felt when Yuna disappeared. 

She cries as well, tear tracks on her cheeks revealing the pale color of her skin amidst all the blood that has splattered all over her body, when her body tells her that it’s tired. She wishes she was the one who died instead, because she can come back and see Yuna again.

Yuna can’t turn back, no matter how much she wants to.

She only finds peace when she enters Yuna’s clock room.

Out of all the spaces inside the mansion, Yuna’s presence is strongest inside it. When Jisu closes her eyes, she can almost imagine that Yuna is sitting on her workbench, wearing her glasses as she focuses on fixing one of the many clocks that decided to stop working for some reason. She always adored that look on Yuna, completely determined that’s borderline obsessed to fix things that the people have thrown at her front porch. With Yuna, they find a new purpose on her wall.

On her worst days, when the longing for Yuna has become too strong that no broken thing can ever satisfy momentarily, she stares at the clocks with Sarang. The cat would take to curling up in her arms, only releasing little meows that in no way disturbs Jisu’s thoughts, and watches with her. On a drunken occasion, she even tries to force them to move a little faster, just so she can say she survived another day without Yuna.

They don’t.

So she just stares, head swimming in her memories with Yuna.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Jisu wonders if this will be her life now, if this is what she'll die doing.

Jisu thinks.

Seasons change. People come and go. Even Sarang dies.

She buries the cat properly in a box under the tree they had found it, cheeks wet with tears and memories of simpler times, of a ghost stuck up high in branches while an immortal falls to the ground. She’s filled with wishful thinking as she hopes that wherever Sarang goes, it would be to where Yuna is, to comfort the love of her life in a place where she can’t follow.

But is it truly impossible to stay away from Yuna’s light?

The clocks stop, unable to move the time without their master.

Jisu makes up her mind.

“Hello, love.”

“I know it’s been…a long while since I last decided to talk to you out loud.”

“I stopped because I hate the feeling I get when I realize you won’t answer.”

“I just want to say that… I think I figured it out.”

“I haven’t tried it before, but I want to do it for us.”

“I think I found a way how I can come home to you.”

“You told me you’ll be waiting for me, right?”

“Just… hang on for a little more, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“I love you, with all of my heart.”

“See you soon, Yuna.”

Jisu takes a clock off Yuna’s wall, one with suns and remembers how Yuna has favored this clock over the rest solely based on the reason that it reminded her of Jisu’s smile.

“Your smile is brighter than the sun, unnie! One of the many things I love about you!”

She holds it to her chest as she lies down on their bed, eyes closing as if to sleep. In no time exhaustion takes over her bones, pulling her down to slumber.

Jisu falls asleep to thoughts of Yuna.

It felt like someone was taking her heart out of her chest, the bleeding plentiful as it drenched her clothes in blood, and she couldn't even scream how much pain she was in.

But then she remembers Yuna, dressed in her white nightgown wearing her pocket watch necklace, the tarnished gold shining in the light, waiting for her to come home.

She endures it, determined to tell Yuna how much she loves her, at least for one more time.

Jisu wakes up to light and knows she has died.

The physical exertion has taken its toll on her body, the years she has spent alive finally catching up to her that it made her bones brittle and blood stale. Jisu knows that her body would have decayed into nothingness, and her existence is wiped off the face of the Earth.

But it’s okay. She has no need for her mortal body anymore, anyway.

She stands to look for her.

Jisu sees Yuna in a field of flowers, a crown of it atop her black hair with Sarang sleeping peacefully in her lap, looking exactly the same since the last time she saw her.

“Yuna.”

What a wonder it is to see emotions in one’s eyes the moment they feel it. The confusion, the hurt, the longing, the love. The only thing that distracts Jisu is the blinding smile Yuna has on her face, albeit a little wet from the tears streaming down from Yuna’s eyes.

Whatever. She thinks Yuna has never looked as beautiful as she does now.

“How?”

“I read it in one of your father’s books, of immortals giving up their immortality by succumbing to their bodies in order to break the curse.”

“But… you loved being immortal.”

“I love you more.”

“Smooth talker.”

“As always, my love.”

“So you just… went and attempted it? And you were successful?”

“I hope so. I would go insane if this is all just a dream.”

“...”

“...”

“What do you think?”

“I think that kiss was very, very real.”

“I’ve been waiting for a while to do that, just so you are aware.”

“Have you been waiting long?”

“Not at all. If anything, you came at just the perfect time. I’ve been feeling a little out of my element by my lonesome.”

“You won’t be alone anymore, I can promise you that.”

“I believe you. You did just die for me.”

“And I will do it over and over, just for you.”

Time moves slowly wherever they are, but Jisu is no longer aware.

She can no longer distinguish the days, too occupied at memorizing the way Yuna’s hands feel against her hair, her cheeks, her skin. Yuna is still fascinated by the way the sun shines and sets, but Jisu is perfectly content just lying down with her ear pressed to Yuna’s chest, finally introduced to the way how Yuna’s heart beats when she’s near. It’s just like hers, beating fast like hummingbird wings and no signs of stopping.

Every single moment she spent without Yuna has disappeared into thin air with every day that she spends in Yuna’s company. She forgets how empty she felt back then when Yuna feels so alive right next to her, holding her hand and telling her how much she loves her, and Jisu would trade her immortality over and over just to be in this moment with her.

Forever is a long time and Jisu doesn’t mind spending it with Yuna. Not one bit.

“I love you. I don’t think I have ever stopped. Not even when I first arrived here.”

“Funny, I feel the exact same way.”