Work Text:
102
"Anak, are you fine by yourself d'yan?"
Mark just nodded and smiled to reassure his parents that he's fine by himself. He ended the call with the usual 'bye' and 'i love you' before he started sitting in the corner of his room.
Currently, he's staying in his old condo, the one where he used to stay when he was in College, before they migrated to Canada.
The room didn't change, the way his bed was positioned, all of the things inside his room are still in the same places.
"Ah youth," he thought at the back of his mind.
Everything reminds him of his youth, his Senior to College days. How Yangyang, Jeno, and Chenle would come by after their practices, crash into his place because the four of them drank too much, cram in the living room for their thesis, and the things they used to do together.
He's still in contact with them, they even have plans tomorrow to see each other after a few years of Mark migrating to Canada with his family.
Oddly enough, no matter how hard he tried to put his mind to rest and sleep, he couldn't. So, he did the same thing as he used to years ago, going to the rooftop that probably no one still knows about.
Well, someone did, aside from him. And surprisingly enough, that someone is also there.
"Hyuck?" He slowly approached the person leaning on the rails.
And he was right. It was Haechan, his friend. The friend he didn't think would be friends with him. Because unlike him, Haechan belongs to a huge circle of friends, he's very friendly with other people, unlike him who has 3 of them and that's it, 4, if he also includes Haechan.
He met the latter in the very same place they are in right now, the rooftop. As far as he can remember, it was way back in College, he went up to this rooftop and discovered it accidentally because of a game of pokemons. With Haechan's curiosity, he followed Mark and both of them got stuck on the rooftop for about 2 hours, talking about the game they both take interest in.
"Mark? Ikaw ba 'yan?" Gulat na tanong ni Haechan sa kaibigang matagal na hindi nakita.
Mark nodded and walked towards him. "How are you, Hycukie?"
The latter chuckled and smiled. "Doing good, ikaw ba? You didn't even tell me you were moving to Canada, kung 'di ko pa tinanong sina Yangyang, 'di ko pa malalaman."
Mark was surprised, but he recovered in a few seconds and smiled.
"Hmm, it was a very sudden decision and I actually had no time to even pack." He explained.
"Pero kamusta ka?"
"Okay naman, I just went back to the Philippines because of some business. I'll leave in two weeks, tho."
"Ganoon ba? I was planning to catch up with you pa naman, but it seems like you just went home for business."
Mark laughed, he knew what Hyuckie meant very well. "I could spare a day, Hyuck."
"Great, bukas ha? Should we go around Manila lang? You probably miss this city."
"Right, I missed Manila, even the traffic, never even thought those words would come out from my mouth." Mark laughed which made Haechan laugh, too. He added, "But I can't do it tomorrow, I already made plans with the three, you know how grumpy they could be if I ditch them."
"'Di mo naman agad sinabi, you should hang out with them first, they really teased us a lot when you ditched them once to help me with my portfolio."
Mark once ditched his three friends to help Hyuck do his portfolio for an org, but what Haechan didn't know about was Mark has ditched his friends a lot of time which caused the three of them to get grumpy because Mark wouldn't tell them why. At nang sabihin ni Mark na dahil iyon kay Haechan, it was as if their grumpiness popped like a bubble and disappeared, inasar na lang ng tatlo silang dalawa.
"I still can't believe they did that over that one time thing." He said, still not admitting to Haechan that it wasn't just a one time thing.
If it wasn't obvious yet, he liked the latter, no, cut it, he likes Haechan. He still does even after 7 years of being friends with him and 2 years of it not seeing him in person.
But Mark just seemed to not find a way to tell Haechan the truth. Was it because he's afraid that things between them will change? Or he's afraid that he'll lose him after?
Neither, and even Mark himself doesn't know the answer. He's just scared, and for him, it was enough to admire him from afar, behind the lines.
"I remember us meeting here unconsciously every 1:02 am." Haechan said.
Mark looked up and tried to remember everything.
Sometimes it will be him getting his guitar to try and write songs on the rooftop, he'll see Haechan leaning on the rails, they'll end up singing together with Mark playing the instrument.
Or sometimes, it would be those nights with him carrying a lot of stale chips and cans of soda, wanting to watch the sky as near as he can, and he'd find himself knocking on Haechan's unit to go and watch with him. They'll talk about random stuff, argue about it as they have different standings on each point, and end up making amends before calling it a night.
It would be those nights where he'd hear sobs from the rooftop and comfort the latter to sleep by singing him the songs he composed.
The nights where he'd find trouble sleeping and go to the rooftop, hoping that Haechan would be there to accompany him, because he likes talking to him every time, he just likes spending time with him, in general.
"I clearly remember, Hyuck."
Over the years, it has become a tradition for them to eat together during the 2nd of April. Nothing, they would just sit and laugh like usual. What makes 2nd of April special than the usual is that Mark would cook for the both of them and Haechan would be the one to set up the table they bought.
They even laughed about it dahil muntik nang maging April 1 o April fools ang tradisyon nila. One time, Mark cooked a food, an Adobo, but what made Haechan laugh as if it was his last was the moment he saw three tomatoes floating above the pot. That day, Mark swore to himself that he'd never cook Adobo again.
"Your Adobo is still timeless, hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit mo nilagyan ng kamatis ang adobo, not to mention that the tomatoes were burnt as fuck." Haechan laughed with the memory of it.
Mark stared at him as Haechan's eyes seemed to disappear from laughing. The way his giggles sound was a harmony to his ears and how happy looked was something Mark had always loved looking at.
Should he say it?
Ah, fuck it.
"I missed you, Hyuckie." Mark uttered silently and looked at him intently. "I missed you a lot."
Haechan was taken aback, surprised to hear Mark say those words, because once, he never did. In return, he smiled sweetly.
"Oh God, that's beautiful." Mark thought.
He didn't think twice, letting go of his words that it was enough for him to see him from afar, to love him behind the lines, and to keep it to himself.
Because he can't do it anymore.
He wants to be heard, he wants to be known, his feelings.
So, he hugged him. Tight. It was full of longing and misery, the years he wasn't with him were cold, but the warmth inside his arms were warm enough. It was comforting, a familiar feeling and place.
"Mark?"
"Hmmm?"
"I missed you, too... a lot." Haechan said.
"It would be nice if you could come home for my wedding, Mark. I want my best friend to be there," Haechan added.
It was as if he was stuck, and couldn't process what the latter said to him just now.
Wedding?
He's getting married?
"You're getting married?"
"Mmmh, next month. Uwi ka ha? Sagot ko na plane ticket, I just want you to be there. If free ka lang naman," Haechan said, not knowing how his heart felt like it was shattering.
All he could do was to nod. "Are you happy with the person you'll marry?"
"I'm happy with Vivien, I'm the happiest when I'm with her."
But I'm the happiest when I'm with you.
"Then it's enough to hear. I'll go to your wedding, Haech. Give me an invitation, okay?" The boy in front of him smiled and nodded, not knowing how his words struck Mark's heart a lot of times.
"I'm thankful to have you by my side, Mark."
"I am, too." He hugged Haechan back and smiled contentedly.
Maybe this is where he really is supposed to be, behind the lines. Because the lines he should've crossed years ago were long crossed by somebody else, and it was Haechan who did, to meet someone from the side he is on, but it wasn't him the latter met.
"And from now, I will still look at you the same way, from the very same position where I used to, behind the lines, from afar, away from you." Mark thought.
"Till the next 1:02 AM?" Haechan asked.
"Till the next 1:02 AM, Haech."
At a hundred and two, I'll sit here for ages, hoping that you remember this song for you.