Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Anya hadn't wanted to stay and see another ascension especially now that she was mortal. She wanted to get as far away from Sunnydale, California as she possibly could. So she went to the other end of the country.

Now, she was in a bar, a bar in Boston.

The bartender walked over to her. "What can I get you sweetheart?"

"Sweetheart?" Anya looked at him. He wasn't bad looking. He wasn't Xander, but he would do. "I want orgasms. Can you give me orgasms?"

The bartender looked at her in surprise before smiling at her. "Better than most."

The bartender hopped over the bar and put his arm around her, "name's Sam Malone."

Anya looked at him closely before smiling. She knew his name. Everyone in her line of work knew his name. "I know. I granted the wish that caused you to lose your hair."

He looked at her in confusion as she pulled him out the door.

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Xander had just left her at the altar. Anya had to get away. Before, she knew it she found herself in a bar in Chicago.

The bartender walked over to her, "What can I get you?"

"Orgasms," it worked in before.

"Right, Trevor it is one of yours!"

Trevor bounced over to her. "Love is in the air. What can I get you? Blonde or Brunette?"

Anya looked up at him recognition lit her eyes. "Cupid?"

"Anyanka. It has been a while."

"What are you doing here in this bar?"

"Being the Greco-Roman god of love for 3,000 years has prepared me for what? Desk job at Hallmark? I'm mortal I serve drinks. You?"

"I make money, lovely, pretty money. Will you give me orgasms?"

"No sex with the humans while I am in exile."

"I may be mortal again, but I am still not quite human."

"Really?" Cupid grinned.

Somewhere one of Cupid's beads slipped over marking the union of another couple.

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Anya was going to scream soon if Willow didn't knock it off with those time spells. She looked around trying to figure out where she was.
She found she was on some sort of promenade that was filled with a lot of different kinds of demons she didn't recognize.

She spotted a bar and walked in, usually bartenders were good sources of information and she had a lot of luck with them in the last few years.

She sat at the bar waiting, when she noticed an odd looking book. She reached over and opened it.

"The Rules of Acquisition. Rule 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back." Her eyes were wide and she read the whole book.

By the time Quark walked in to the bar, he found Anya crying. "I have finally found where I belong!"

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"He acts like his head is always in the stars! You know what I wish?"

"What? What do you wish?" Anya was thrilled. This one was hurt and angry and she looked like a creative wisher.

I wish he would fall off the face of the Earth, repeatedly, and know the heart-break I feel."

Anyanka showed her true features "Done."

The woman who made the wish looked in terror at the face in front of her and Dr. Sarah Gardner promptly fainted.

Elsewhere Dr. Daniel Jackson walked through the Stargate, off the planet for the first time, stumbling as he went, soon to meet Sha're.

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"He doesn't love me." A woman sat talking with Anya.

"And what do you wish would happen?"

"I don't know Mac is so handsome and smart. Maybe if he weren't so smart, such a free spirit, he could love me. Yeah, maybe if he were dumber . . . . yeah that is what I wish. I wish MacGyver would be dumber, less of a free spirit, and maybe even get a hair cut."

The girl felt a hundred times better, even if she only knew MacGyver in passing. He should lover her.

Anyanka smiled, "Done."

Elsewhere, Angus MacGyver had a sudden urge to join the Air Force. . . .

"" "" "" "" ""
(I am sorry, I know that is an implied Stargate: SG-1 ending and the "Smart Jack" people are all going to kill me, but I couldn't resist this one. Teri)

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Anya and Xander had yet another fight. Anya found herself on the road again. This time she went north, finding herself in yet another bar.
She watched the bartender. He was an older man, but kind of cute and since she had been human she had found bartenders to be a constant source of . . . comfort.

"Sex on a beach." She offered.

"Sure, I can make that for you?" The older man smiled as he began to mix the drink.

Anya frowned; he misunderstood her.

"He didn't misunderstand you, he is just trying to not embarrass you."

She turned to the deep voice in her ear.

"Methos!" She smiled.

"Anyanka."

"You are a talented man. Cassandra's wish that you an eternal life alone. I never found a wish more gratifying since eternal means I get to run into you every few decades without worrying about you losing your head."

"A great PRIZE indeed."

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"Lorne, what can you tell me?" Angel asked. No, "Hi" or "Hello". He just walked in and got down to business.

Lorne smiled at him. "Well Angel-cakes, I can give you a cryptic thought for $10, a vague hint for $25, a decent hint for $50, a real clue for $75, and a plain description for $100."

"What?" Angel was confused.

"Look, you people keep wrecking my bar and I needed to find away to keep repairing it." Lorne shrugged. "So, I hired a financial consultant."

"Really?"

"Yep, sweet girl, a little preoccupied with getting home to her boyfriend, but boy did she know Money. Maybe she could help you with your financial woes?"

"Couldn't hurt. What's her name?"

"Anya Jenkins."

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Anya was dancing around the Magic Box. Giles had never seen her so happy, except when they got their last tax refund.

"Anya, Why are you so happy?" Dawn asked before Giles could.

"I finally met someone who has all the same goals in life I do. He is smart, funny, and most importantly understands the true value of life." Anya was glowing.

"Love?" Dawn asked.

"No, Money. He loves money as much as I do."

Dawn turned and grinned at Giles as a man came into the shop and walked over to Anya. He was a little short, but Dawn thought kind of cute.

Anya turned, "This is him. Giles, Dawnie, meet Alex P. Keaton!"

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How could she be so foolish as to step in front of Andrew? What on earth was she thinking? Actually better question is, if she stepped in front of Andrew and died in his place, why was she able to ask questions.

She opened her eyes.

"Welcome Anyanka. Blessed be."

She looked over to a blonde man in golden robes, an elder.

"Why am I here?"

"You died in a moment of self-sacrifice." Leo grinned at her. "Welcome to the ranks of the Whitelighters."

"Me?" She looked at him if he was crazy.

"I'm not crazy."

She looked at him skeptically.

"I wouldn't put money on that, Leo." Cordelia Chase said from behind them both.

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The gang was standing outside of the bus, looking at the sinkhole that was Sunnydale. They were trying to decide what to do next.

"What are we going to do next Buffy?"

"Well. . . " Anya flashed in.

"Anya!" Xander exclaimed as he moved to hug her.

"I thought you were dead?" Was the thought shared by all of the others.

"I was, but Hades owed me. I am now the patron goddess of scorned women."

Everyone stared at her, except Xander who just smiled.

"So, as for what I want to do. . . I want to build a temple, maybe something with a large gift shop so I can earn lots of money. Oh, I can't forget about temple tributes. This goddess thing is going to make me rich." She smiled widely.

Now everyone just stared at her in amused confusion.

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Circa: Vietnam War
"I am so tied of them all hitting on me and chasing me like I am some sort of prize." A pretty young Army nurse complained to her friend.

Anya grinned at her. "Don't you sometimes wish they all would just go away?"

"Well . . . "

"Hey Suzie," A handsome young Lieutenant interrupted. "You want to see the film with me tonight?"

"No, I don't. Just like I didn't want to go last time either." The girl turned to Anya. "Do you see what I mean? They don't leave me alone. I just wish that he knew what it was like to be chased like some kind of prize."

Anyanka showed her true face. "Done."

Suzie looked on shock, but the Lieutenant never saw it. Instead he heard his commander's voice.

"Kid, change in plans. We got a mission from Morrison tonight."

"Sure, coming Hannibal." Face answered before leaving on the now infamous Hanoi Bank Job.

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I Dream of Anya . . .

"I just want a girl who is pretty and smart, very rich, and has the ability to change the world because I say 'I wish,'" Roger shrugged. "Is that to much to ask for, Tony?"

"Rog, I told you before I am not going to let Jeannie set you up with anyone from her family and that's final."

"But, its me loveable Roger, aw, come on Tony. Just this once. Please!"

"No," Tony shook his head Roger was always trying to get Jeannie to grant him some wish usually involving a girl. Some day all his scheming would get him into real trouble. Roger with a girl who could grant wishes, that had to be trouble. "Besides, don't have that blind date tonight?"

"Yeah, told her to meet me here."

"Here?" Tony asked in surprise, "why here?"

"Well, I certainly don't want her to know where I live if it doesn't work out. Do I?"

"Of course, not," Tony muttered as the doorbell rang. "And I suppose you want me to answer the door for you too?"

"It is your house."

Tony was exasperated, but he went and answered the door. "May I help you?"

"I am here to see Roger Healey," the woman at the door answered with a big bright smile. "I'm Anya."