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I hear silence around me
The whole gym froze. For a moment one could hear a pin drop. Shock was written on every single face in the building. The arbitrator lifted his left arm. A short whistle. The sound of a sheet of paper being turned. A longer whistle. My heart skipped a beat. Bewilderment took over the gym for a second, before half the gym burst into screams of joy. Karasuno had won against Shiratorizawa.
The third-years moved first. A mix of sweat and tears streamed down Daichi’s face as he pulled Asahi into a tight hug, his hands gripping on the other’s shirt. Sugawara stumbled into them, clumsily joining their hug. All three screamed their lungs out, overpowered by their emotions and probably still not believing what was happening. Tsukishima, Kageyama and Hinata got tackled by Nishinoya and Tanaka, with Ennoshita, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita and Narita joining the human pile only milliseconds later.
Clouds are moving in
Everything felt so unreal. Kageyama and Nishinoya had to drag poor Hinata to the baseline, because his knees were too weak to carry his body. The players bowed to each other before walking to the middle and shaking hands with their opponents under the net. Karasuno watched Shiratorizawa leave the court in defeat, themselves swelling with pride.
They lined up one by one in front of the bleachers, but my eyes were on Daichi. “Thank you for all of your support! Thank you very much!” The sound of his voice caused the butterflies to flutter around and my heart skipped a beat. His gaze scanned through the rows, clearly looking for someone.
“Sawamura! Sugawara! Azumane!”, her voice called. Michimiya. The moment his eyes found her a proud smile spread on his lips and he held up a red lucky charm. By the looks of it, she had given it to him sometime before the match.
Dark heavens above me
My heart clenched. I knew it. I knew they liked each other, but my heart refused to accept it. My heart still hoped for having a chance with him, clung to the times he had brought me food when I had stayed in the library for too long and the times he encouraged me to call it a day and go home because otherwise all the studying would be pointless.
The first tear fell down my cheek. A happy one or a sad one, I couldn’t tell. Yeah, I felt heartbroken, but that didn’t stop me from feeling proud and happy for the team. They beat Shiratorizawa. They were going to the nationals. In their final tournament the third-years managed to make it through Miyagi’s qualifying rounds. My urge to just run down onto the court, hug Daichi and tell him how proud I was of him, was overwhelming, but it wasn’t my place. So, I watched the awards ceremony with a heavy heart, my mind torn between emotions. The medals on their chests shone brightly, though not as bright as their eyes. Slowly Karasuno seemed to realize what had happened. The tears had dried up and now proud smiles graced every single face. The Fallen Champions were standing again.
So hard to take in
When the announcer asked for another round of applause for Karasuno, I got up from my seat. In a moment the audience would be allowed on the court and I couldn’t put myself through seeing Daichi and Michimiya. Maybe someday. Michimiya was a nice girl. We talked a few times and while we weren’t even acquaintances, I couldn’t be mad at her – or at him – because nobody is in control of who they fall in love with. And if they were in love with each other I wouldn’t interfere. Neither of them would deserve it. Maybe someday I could even be happy for them. But not today. Not with my feelings caught in such a violent storm.
I feel so alive
So, I blazed a trail through the leaving crowd. Among the saddened fans of Shiratorizawa my own face didn’t stick out, though I still pulled my jacket closer to my body, hiding the Karasuno jersey Suga had given me in June after they had lost to Aoba Johsai. So I could bring them good luck, like he said. Ironically, he had given me a jersey with the number 1 on it. And now that number seemed to be burning on my skin as I looped my arms tighter and tighter around my upper body. My throat tightened; the air seemed to suffocate me. I needed to get out of the building.
Upon seeing the heavy rain clattering on the concrete, my dam broke. Hot tears streamed down my face as I pushed through the doors into the rain, past the people stopping to open their umbrellas. After breathing the stuffy air inside the gym for the last few hours, the rain was freezing cold on my skin and clothes, soaking me in seconds, but I didn’t care. At least this way it was easier to hide my tears.
Adrenaline is pumping
My innermost mind was in revolt. The desire to tell Daichi was raging in my body. I clenched my fist, digging my nails into my skin, focusing on the pain to distract myself from my heart demanding I turn around a go back into the gym.
I wandered a bit away from the building’s entrance, mindlessly, until I found a bench somewhere nobody would walk past me so I could dwell in my sorrow alone. It was so obvious Michimiya and Daichi liked each other, so why did it hurt so much? Why was today different? They hadn’t confessed their feelings, they hadn’t kissed, they had just acted like always. So why did it feel like my heart had been ripped out? Minutes passed as I just sat there, crying my heart out and letting the rain drench me.
I’m in overdrive
“Oh? What are you doing here?”, a curious voice chimed beside me.
Through the mix of tears and rain I could make out a person crouching in front of me. Blinking barely helped my vision but I recognized the red hair and the purple and white clothes. His voice ripped me from my trance. I felt every single rain drop on me, heard the rain’s roaring in the trees.
“Are you okay?” He paused for a second. “No. Sorry. Stupid question. A lonely, crying girl is hardly ever okay. Can I help you? Do you need something? I think I should have some chocolate left, if you want some. Or do you rather need someone to talk to? We don’t know each other, but sometimes talking to a stranger helps.” My only reaction was a shrug of my shoulders. As much as I wanted to talk, I didn’t trust my voice. “Shit. Okay. Should I just stay here and keep you company?”
Needing to be...
I hesitated, but ultimately nodded so he took a seat next to me on the bench. He was a stranger who I would never see again, so I would be spared of the next time seeing him and the embarrassment that would inevitably come along with it.
Minutes passed of the boy and me just sitting there and keeping each other company, staying drenched and me sobbing, sniffing and crying my heart out.
“Did you watch the match?” I nodded again. “Then you know my team lost, but we will be fine. And you will be fine too. Whatever sucks to the point you feel like soaking in the rain will go by and better days will come again.”
Violent storm
Before I could respond, a voice called my name. My heart skipped a beat and my body flinched before freezing. Shit. Of course, Daichi had to find me here. In that moment I just wished for the ground to swallow me. I wanted to disappear and never feel anything again. Was it possible to drown in the rain?
The boy next to me had noticed my tenseness and carefully took my hands in his. “Is he hurting you?” Seriousness had replaced every hint of curiosity in his voice. Shaking my head, I pointed to my heart. Surprisingly, he understood. “Heartbreak?” When I nodded, he hummed sympathetically. “I’ll leave the two of you alone then, but if something’s happening, just scream, okay?” He got up after giving me an encouraging pat on my knee and left. When he passed Daichi, I heard him hiss “Karasuno’s still pissing me off.”
I can see it coming in the distance
“You shouldn’t be out here. You’re gonna catch a cold.” He draped his jacket over my shoulders and even though it was just as soaked as my own clothes, my heart fluttered at the gesture.
It felt like an eternity of silence passed between Daichi and me, the only noise being the rain falling onto the earth. He stood next to me, silently, while my sobs slowly dried up.
“Suga talked to me”, he began after I had calmed down. “Just now in the locker room. Or rather, he lectured me. He told me how dense I was for not noticing Michimiya holds feelings for me when they were so obvious. How he fought the urge to hit me when she gave me the lucky charm today.” He chuckled shyly. “But me not realizing the girl I like returns my feelings is what made him actually angry. I really thought he would rip off my head. I think Suga’s gonna kill me if I don’t confess to her now.”
Once more there’s no way to resist it
When my last tear had rolled down my cheek, it had taken all my energy with it. I was exhausted and just wanted Daichi to tell me he would date Michimiya and leave again. I wanted to get over with the conversation and go home. I stood up with a heavy sigh. “Get to the point, Daichi. I’m tired. Just tell me what you want to tell me so I can go home and dry myself off and you can go to Michimiya and finally confess to her.” When I was tired, I got bitchy and technically he didn’t deserve that, but I needed distance. Otherwise, I would never be able to move on.
Break free from our mutual existence
“Suga yelled at me how I didn’t even realize, when she showed up to the most important match in my high school career in my jersey. He told me how he gave it to her a few months ago after we lost to Seijoh.” My heart skipped a beat as his words seeped through my mind and my head flung around. There he stood, hands in his pockets, staring into the void with a glister in his eyes and a dreamy smile on his lips. “I mean, I noticed how pretty she looked in the jersey and my heart fluttered when I saw my number on it. God, I wanted to kiss her then and there, but I thought about what if it was just a coincidence.” His gaze fell on me and the smile widened.
Have mercy, oh violent storm
I thought I had no tears left to cry, but apparently there were still some left which were now dwelling in my eyes as I got overwhelmed by emotions. “Daichi, I–”
Strong, warm arms wrapped around my waist and my face got pulled into Daichi’s chest. And I let him. Because it felt safe. His clothes were as soaked as mine, but he still gave off enough body heat to give me comfort. “Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m here”, he whispered, the rain almost drowning his voice. Unintentionally, my fingers gripped into the fabric of his shirt, my nails probably digging into his skin, though he remained still, patiently waiting for me to calm down.
Rumble’s getting louder
After what felt like minutes of neither of saying anything, my tears and sobs died down again and I dared to peel my face away from his chest and look up to him. His features hadn’t lost anything of their warmth and care, still smiling like bewitched. Gentle fingers brushed a strand of my drenched hair from my face, before resting on my neck. A single raindrop fell from a strand of his short hair right onto his lips and I couldn’t stop thinking about how bad I wanted him to kiss me.
As if he could read my mind, he bent down and closed the gap between our lips. The touch was gentle to test the waters and give me a chance to back away. But I didn’t want to, so I pulled him closer by his shirt, deepening the kiss. His lips tasted like a mix of rain, a hint of sweat and Daichi.
The ground is shaking
The kiss was intoxicating. My head spun around like crazy and the air in my lungs ran short. Still, I wanted this moment to last forever. Staying forever in Daichi’s embrace and kissing him. A gust of wind pulled on my hair like the storm raging in my heart. Only this time, I wasn’t afraid of the storm, because Daichi had turned the storm’s violence into devotion.
Both of us gasped for air, when we pulled away, our faces only millimeters away from each other. Though I missed the feeling of his lips on mine, the feeling of breathing freely was a relief. My throat worked normal again and neither my stomach nor my mind were twisting anymore.
“Let’s get inside, I don’t want you catching a cold.” His hand slipped in mine so easily as we made our way back into the warm walls of the Sendai City Gym.
Then realization hit me like a tidal wave. My feelings weren’t one-sided. Daichi liked me. I could cuddle with him now. Press my face into his chest. Kiss him. The thought knocked the whole air out of my lungs. He sensed it and his hand squeezed mine affirmingly, without him saying a word. But that’s all I needed.
Realize the power of madness closing in