Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Tom wasn't mourning their deaths, they aren’t dead, no. They've been through so much together, how would this be any different? They're just separated... that's all...

The house... the yelling, searching for that idiotic commie, the ambush...

So tired, so very, very, tired... the running, the fear of not making it out alive...

He hates being sober.

And Tom instantly succumbed to darkness on the bed mat he found.

…..

Tom woke up, it was still dark out and it hit him everywhere... what was going on, why he was here and where his friends went. Damn it, he rather this be a dream, a simple nightmare.

The dim TV was playing, he didn’t remember turning on the TV, something was playing on it, something that was important. It was quiet and very hard to focus on, the dimness only proved difficult when he squinted, longing to understand the weird scrabble on the TV.

As he tried listening to the TV, he heard an unpleasant sound, a sound that made him freeze but sway his head in morbid curiosity, the scratching and moaning of something was heard from the window.

Oh god, this isn’t good, this isn’t good, this isn’t good, this isn’t good. Breathing, remember breathing, think of your friends how they’ll fight these, undead corpses, these... green mutants, these. These.

Breathing hurt, it hurt a lot and he couldn’t feel anything, the lightness of it all made him weak, made him feel horrible. Is this how it is without his friends? Without someone to look over for him? The zombies made a crack in the window, and that took a crack at Tom’s feeling of safety. Stop thinking, stop thinking.

Run. RUN.

In the sudden scurry he wondered how he could have acted differently...

How he’d be if his friends were around... He didn’t blame Edd for being mad.

Edd would be able to cover for him, Matt would be able to protect him, Tord would have pushed through the horde of undead... What did he, Tom, do? Was he all that important as he said to be? When danger wasn’t present, when they were around?

Edd, Matt... Tord even... where are you guys...

He’s nothing without his friends.

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Matt didn’t know what was happening most of the time, then again, he wasn’t stupid.

Sort of?

He knows that what’s happening isn’t normal and that it would be normal if Edd or Tom was around... But here he is, dealing with it by himself. The zombies were behind the door, barricaded from entering...

For now, just for now.

For now?

He wished it was forever, forever he’d be stuck there with nothing to hurt his beautiful face...

Though not alone, not without his friends. He rewrote his wish in his head.

He wished that this never happened, that Edd hadn’t run out, Tord following behind, that Tom hadn’t gone searching for them. That he just stayed home being the “Door knob” that he is.

Not anymore, not when this was happening, he looked like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he would.

He had hurt dozens of people, not knowing what he had done. So, what’s different in knowing that he did?

Everything.

Every stab in the back makes everything seem harder.

Every fall in the crack makes everything seem wronger.

Every punch in the face... made everything feel more real...

And if life was a person, he’d have an unrecognizable face right now.

Self-reflecting wasn’t great for him.

He wishes Tom or Edd or Tord was here to lighten up the mood.

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Tord was in the forest, the thick forest he never knew about. But his life was always “in the woods”, not and never out of it. Running from the chaos since he was a child, but only learned to shoot it down and enjoy it when he was a teen. But everything is a bit harder to shoot down when you don’t have praise. When it feels like you're doing this all the time.

By yourself.

Edd was fun to be around, and Tom was fun to annoy, Matt was... well he’s not sure anymore... And being honest he’d kill for any of them to be here with him right now. Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.

The zombie slowly advanced as he hastily took his gun out. The all too familiar sounds of bullets filled his mind with trigger happiness, he hated violence but loved self-defence.

As long as he had the upper...

The gun clicked to a stop.

...hand.

Damn it.

Still too many zombies, yet no more ammo, he was in a real FORK right now...

He hated how Edd’s sense of humour slithered into his brain, he couldn’t help but laugh a tired, but insane laugh as he thought of the irony. Thinking of his “best” friend, in his final moments, he thought about how Tom would laugh along in spite and Matt, well past-Matt shakes his head in annoyance.

He didn’t want this to be the way it ends.

The zombies were within arm's reach of Tord. He kept running into the dark fog of the forest.

Holding his useless gun.

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Edd could only breathe in quick, shaky breaths.

The reckless rage died down as he felt worried, that horrible guilt filled him. He hated when the adrenaline wore off. When he felt petty and a bit weak after being angry. Edd slowed to walk. His worry for his friends proved to be stronger than his cold anger, but the resentment made him hesitant.

He should go back, it won’t be difficult, he only went straight ahead.

What if his friends were searching for him?

Wishful thinking, they don’t really care, do they? They're not that caring or nice...

Were they?

Edd froze in his spot, unsure if he’d want to go back or stay in this spot.

He only noticed how dark it was now and how vulnerable he was.

…

The silence made everything a tad bit creepy, he was used to being alone, animating but he’d be comforted by the computer sounds and the warmth of his room.

The cheesy warmth of knowing his friends were around.

He really broke them apart this time, hasn’t he?

A stupid argument he started, a stupid initiative to talk so late.

Stu-

“Hrrrrrrrrn”

Oh great.

The sound of zombies.

He looked around for any available weapon.

A stick.

He’d had to fight the undead alone.

That’d be hard, he knows he had done it before, even while not caring.

Why is this so difficult?

“You guys really caught me in a bad time.” Edd said.

A bit of fear and hope burned in him as he saw someone in the distance.