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Spring had once again begun in Hisui.
How many had you seen here now? You never really kept good track of the days - you never expected to be here more than maybe a year - but fortunately Laventon was diligent about it. It was late in spring when you woke up at Prelude Beach and begun your new life.
Fitting, wasn't it? That the season of new beginnings had granted you one of your own.
You still couldn't remember your old one. Honestly, you expected to be back there now that the Pokédex had been completed, but it seems there were other plans for you. If only you could know what they were.
It had been years since you battled against the legendary Pokémon, sought out the spirits of the lake, gathered the plates of old, and then…
And then…
He was so lonely now.
As Hisui grew in population he had managed to meet more people - it helps when they do not recognize you nor do they know the horror you tried to cause - but he still kept to himself as much as he could. He built a home at the Celestica ruins with the help of his Pokémon, and spent his days doing what he always did. Study.
It was a miserable location for most, tucked away within Mt Coronet and dense with fog during the best of days, and so no one else had felt the desire to settle the land there. He told himself he was fine with it. Didn't want anyone to come in and destroy what little remained of his ancestors, after all. He was fine by himself, as he always had been.
Always will be.
He's accepted it now. He's had plenty of time to reflect on his past and the things he's done. That bitter feeling still lingers, but he's refocused it. He's no longer bitter at you, the village, the clans; he's bitter towards himself. It was his passions that saw him caught up with things he was ill prepared to handle - Giratina, Arceus, Dialga, Palkia…
The snow outside has just begun to melt away, revealing the new growth beneath, and he surveys the area as he steps out of his house. The house that isn’t yet quite “home.”
Soon he will be able to grow food again and eat something aside from scavenged berries, dried meat, softfoot roots, and sand radishes. Winter will never get easier, he thinks.
He deserves this.
It was his actions that caused everything. You did not cause the rift, you did not ask to come to Hisui, you did not ask for the plates or for Arceus' blessing, and he has finally accepted this fact. Of course it still feels like salt in a wound knowing that an outsider - someone with no connection to this land, no history within it, and who hadn't even given worship to it - would be the one noticed by the creator Pokémon, but he was learning to deal with it.
For months after he was defeated, he stayed close to Mt Coronet. He knew you did not call upon Arceus after the battle, and so he waited for the moment you would. It was his last chance to succeed - he would make it up to the summit, wait for you to ready the Azure Flute, and then he would strike. He listened to your footfalls while he hid amongst the broken pillars, calculating where you were with each step, careful not to reveal himself too soon and sabotage his plans.
He couldn’t falter.
But when your steps slowed to a stop earlier than he planned, and he took a cautious look to see what happened, his resolve shattered. He had expected you to look proud, standing tall and ready to meet the God he had spent his entire life devoted to. He had not expected to see you cry.
Silently he left. Something had twisted in his stomach when he saw your face, and he felt nauseated.
Once again he had to cast aside his plans. Once again he failed. But this time he did not feel anger. A different emotion had begun to stir within him, one he didn’t care to humor. Instead, he decided it was time to decide how he would move forward.
He could leave Hisui, start anew in another region, leaving behind his failures and misdeeds, but also leaving behind his heritage. His history. Everything he knew was here, and he couldn’t imagine himself being anywhere else in the world. He may not have a place to belong, but he wasn’t going to let that tear him away from the land of his ancestors.
He hadn't seen you since that day. In the past, before he had ordered Giratina to strike you down, he was quite adept at finding you. If he wanted, he was certain he could find your location within a few days (Jubilife notwithstanding), but he no longer wanted to. That is, at least, what he told himself each time his mind wondered what you were up to. Why would he ever want to see you again, anyway?
Surely you never wanted to see him again, either.
He was certain that his visage wouldn't sneak it's way into your dreams, nor did you sometimes hear his voice in the wind. There was no way you would allow the memory of him to haunt you, as by now you would have moved on and forgotten about the man who had gained your trust, helped you learn about the history and myths of the land, supported you through your lowest time, and then turned to betray you.
Certainly he didn't know how that felt.
Maybe one day he'd stop lying to himself.
The morning was cold, as was every morning in the Coronet Highlands, and his Pokémon were outside as they usually were. All six of them remained by his side, he counted. Like he did every morning. He had honestly expected them to leave him behind - abandon the man who used them for his own selfish dreams and find someone new who hadn't done the evils he had. But yet, they remained by his side.
He did not deserve them.
Togekiss flew around him in a circular pattern for a few moments before flying into his arms and nuzzling his face. He remembered often how you had once told him that Togepi only evolves when they are strongly bonded with a kind trainer, but he did not truly believe you until he had tried to push her away from him.
After his final failure in achieving his dream, he had tried to shoo off his Pokémon. He tried so hard to make them leave - pleading, shouting, and even attempting to attack them. None of them would budge. He begged them to forget about him, to find someone more worthy to command them than he.
But when Togekiss began to cry, pleading with him in her own way, not even allowing him to turn away to run from them… when he looked into her tear-filled eyes he saw nothing but the love and adoration he had never thought himself worthy of.
Maybe… maybe if this pure-hearted creature saw something within him that was worthwhile, then someday he would, too.
Even still he struggled with the concept, and perhaps that’s why Togekiss greeted him the way she did each day. Always trying to make him smile. The happiness Pokémon, he remembered from your Pokédex, even brought him a gift now and again; sometimes berries, sometimes flowers, sometimes it was even just a stick or a rock that she had found when she was out and exploring on her own. Each had the same value to her, and he treasured each gift in the same manner, having created a now rather large box to store them each in.
She brought nothing but her love today, which was still more than he could have ever asked for.
His routine was so ingrained that he did not even need to think as he went through the motions, cleaning snow and ice off of his roof and perimeter, then cleaning up anything around the area in general. It took him hours to check the entire area of the ruins - a settlement was here once, after all; and as much as the thought pained him, he would sometimes envision what those days were like.
There were no traces of humans having been through the area, only a few faint tracks left by Pokémon could be seen in the snow. It seemed as though he'd have another lonely day today.
Pulling out some books and journals, he sat at a table he had fashioned outside, choosing to use the light of the sun for his work today. He had managed to acquire some new reading material thanks to passing travelers; with many coming from different regions, he had managed to trade goods he had crafted in exchange for them. A few revives for a book from places such as Unova and Kalos were mutually beneficial.
It was at least something to do.
He had also begun to write down what he had learned himself. Myths and legends of the deified Pokémon, the origins of the clans, the founding of Jubilife, and even what he could of his own people. Anything he could think of, he wrote down - he could always revise it later. It kept him busy on days where there was little else to do. He poured everything he had into the myths, and even if he didn't often venture into the rest of Hisui anymore, he had plenty of notes from past excursions to keep him going.
Often he found himself reading his words aloud, and today's audience was his Arcanine, laying near yet with ears trained on him to listen to every word. It helped to find errors in his writing, or places where he needed to elaborate. He wasn't certain how much Arcanine could understand, but he was always grateful to at least have someone to listen. If he allowed himself to, and he really tried not to, sometimes his mind would imagine a more human audience for his myths. He often wondered if he would have any descendents to carry on the Celestica name, or if he would ever have even one person to share the stories with.
These thoughts always caused a downward spiral in his mood, so fortunately for him, he was able to keep his thoughts in check more often than not.
Togekiss broke his concentration, hovering less than a foot from his face, chirping frantically. He reassured her as he went to safely put away his notes, then followed her lead as she showed him what it was that had her in such a fuss.
He could hardly see what she was leading him to when she sped off - vocalizing in a way he hadn't heard in years - and rammed herself into someone, knocking them over briefly.
Volo froze in place.
You had never specifically avoided him these past couple of years, you just had so much other work to do, rendering it impossible to form a proper search mission. Not that you'd find help from anyone else - the rest of the Galaxy Team certainly didn't want to see him anywhere near Jubilife again. Seeing him now was somewhat surreal. The last time you saw him, he had cursed your name and summoned Giratina to destroy not only you, but to help him reset the entire world. At the time he was on the precipice of madness, laughing maniacally and with nothing but anger in eyes; and even after you had won, he seemed to feel nothing but hatred towards you, although his eyes had softened slightly.
But now, he looked like the husk of the man he once was. He looked at you with something unreadable in his eyes. Fear? Awe? Shock? You couldn’t read it. And well enough, he wasn’t even sure how he had felt at that moment.
His hair had fallen from his ‘Arceus’ look since the event at the Temple of Sinnoh, and it had seemed to have grown slightly, as he had not tied it back in a bun. He seemed a bit leaner, likely due to his new lifestyle requiring more physical labor and lacking in much of the same indulgences one could find inside Jubilife.
You looked at him with pity, and he turned away to break eye contact, feeling himself unworthy of it.
He didn’t know what to do. Should he say something? Should he just leave? He had truly not expected to see you ever again, and now that you were here, the guilt he had been carrying for so long would not even allow him to look at you. He half expected you to run back to the village to call for Kamado, who would most certainly have his head. But deep down, he knew this wasn’t going to happen. That’s not the kind of person you were.
He did not deserve you.
“For what it’s worth,” he spoke when he heard you take a step towards him, his voice shaky and quiet. “I… I’m sorry. For everything.”
He paused for a moment, but continued before you could interject, “you do not have to believe me, and I will not ask for your forgiveness. After everything I’ve done to you, I don’t deserve it.”
You can’t see it, but he’s barely holding it together. His eyes are shut tight and his hands are balled into fists as he clings to the front of the casual kimono he’s wearing. All you can see is the heavy movements of his shoulders that hint at how hard his breathing was becoming.
“Volo, I…” You struggle with words for a moment, “I’m really glad to see you again.”
He tensed up just a bit more before relaxing and spinning around, a half-hearted attempt at anger on his face as he scanned yours for any signs that you were lying to him. You had to be lying to him. With everything he had done, he struggled to believe that you, of all people, would be so calm and open to his presence.
"Why aren't you mad at me? Why are you so calm? I betrayed you, tried to steal the plates and erase you and this Hisui that you love! I'm the reason your memories are lost. I'm the reason Warden Ingo's memories are lost. I trapped you both here for my own stupid, selfish gain, and you're happy to see me?! You should hate me!"
His face softened as he made eye contact that made you feel like you could peer into his heart, able to see the broken pieces of the man you once knew, shattered down to his soul. He had laid bare his heart to you through his words, rendering him more vulnerable than you could have even imagined him to be.
It was now your choice whether you would grind down the rest of him, like pieces of broken pottery under your heel, or if you held the golden adhesive which could help him to heal.
You didn't even have to think twice.
"I never hated you, Volo. Not when you threatened me, not when you ordered Giratina to attack me, and not even when you left and hid yourself away from me. You hurt me, yes, but I never for a moment felt hatred, just sad. For years I've wanted to see you again just to see you smile." You loosened your hold to look up at him, his expression nigh unreadable.
"I know we can't go back, but I miss the time we spent together while collecting plates. I miss the Volo from before, and I hope that a part of him still lives in there."
He let your words resonate within him as you stepped back to give him some space.
"Do you have survey work today?"
As much as you want to stay with him, giving him whatever it is he needs, you do. So you nod, "yes."
His heart sinks with a feeling he's not ready to give a name to, but his face remains neutral.
"Can you return in three days?"
"Yes, actually. I'll be through with my work by then."
He takes in a deep breath and nods, "I will have Togekiss meet you here then." The Pokémon perked up and flew towards Volo then, nuzzling her head under his hand for attention.
As you left, Volo watched until he could no longer see your form in the distance.
—
He had hoped the timing would give him time to sort out his head - to think of the words he needed to say - but alas, he could not. In fact, not only could he hardly sleep, but he struggled to motivate himself to do anything for the days after you had met again.
It was not unfamiliar territory, of course, there were many a day these past years where he could hardly motivate himself to even get out of bed, much less eat or bathe. But this time was different. This time he was scared. With Lucario's help, he had at least managed to start his day. If you were actually going to return, he wanted to at least be presentable for the occasion.
He decided to bring a book outside with him, and waited at his usual work table, trying to distract his racing thoughts.
When he heard Togekiss' trill, he was snapped out of concentration, heart leaping into his throat. He heard you approach with her, and he hesitated to look up.
But when he did, he felt the threat of tears in the corner of his eyes.
Your smile was gentle and genuine.
"You… you really came back." His voice was soft and awestruck.
For a moment you felt insulted, but you did not let it show. Did he think so little of you that he believed you would lie to him?
No , you thought. You're not the one he thinks so little of, and the realization breaks your heart. You hold back the urge to wrap him in your arms, instead sitting across from him.
"Of course I did."
He makes brief eye contact, turning his head to gaze down towards the book he was reading, mindlessly giving the cover a few passes with his fingers. Even if he had prepared, it likely wouldn’t have mattered in the end. He clenched his fist as he closed his eyes.
“I’ve had… time to think about things,” he sighed and opened his eyes, but still hesitated to meet yours, “I’ve thought about the plates, about Giratina and Arceus, about the Temple of Sinnoh… about how and why I failed. You– I still can’t possibly understand why you still do not hate me, but I… I’m very grateful that you don’t.”
He took another few calculated breaths, clearly fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.
“Thank you… truly…”
His voice cracked as he spoke. He was losing the battle against his emotions.
When you stood and walked towards him, he was so focused on maintaining his composure that he didn’t notice until you kneeled in front of where he sat, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close to you.
That’s when he finally broke.
His forehead laid against your shoulder as his body shook, racked with sobs, and he brought his arms around your middle. He held onto you as though you would disappear if he dared to loosen his grip, and you felt your own tears begin to fall as you gently stroked his back.
When he had exhausted himself, shoulders slowing and slumping, you felt him loosen his grip enough so that you could sit back but unable to completely slip out from within his arms. Although he was avoiding eye contact, it seemed he was not quite ready to let go of you just yet. A part of him truly feared you would disappear if he did so.
“Volo. Volo, please look at me.”
Your voice felt like a song in his ears at that moment, the most precious and gentle sound he had ever heard, and he felt his heart flutter. Had your voice always been so kind? Or had he finally allowed himself to open his heart to you? In that moment he felt a clarity he had never experienced. He felt fragile. He felt exposed. But with you, he felt safe .
He hadn’t even hesitated to look at you.
Had you always been so beautiful?
Your hand reached out to wipe the tears from his face, a warm smile on your face, “I need you to know that I will – I do – forgive you. I just… I do have a couple of questions for you. Is that okay?”
“You can ask me anything. I do not want to lie to you any more,” he nodded as he finally let go of you, bringing his hands into his lap, and you followed suit.
“Your kindness towards me… giving me items, teaching me, saving me when I was kicked out… was all of that a lie?"
Your words shot through him like an arrow, the fact that he had caused such doubt in you pained him, and he was becoming closer and closer to naming that feeling within him.
"No. I was genuinely happy to see and help you. It was not until Mistress Cogita sent you towards the remaining plates that I began to try and hate you in order to distance myself from you." More to distance his heart from yours, before he became irreparably attached to you.
He didn't realize at the time that he was already too late.
It took a couple of moments before you spoke again, and he wished he knew what was going through that head of yours. He could only hope that he was able to give you some relief. Give you some sort of closure about everything that had happened. And, selfish as it was, he hoped that his words could mend the bond between you.
“Why did–” You stopped yourself, seeming to struggle with words, “why?”
He gazed downwards in shame. You didn’t have to elaborate for him to know exactly what you meant.
“As I said, I have spent my entire life wondering why I have been cursed to suffer. Why I’ve had to endure so much pain and agony. If Arceus was real - and had, in fact, created everything we know - I wanted to ask it such questions.” He once again made eye contact with you, “I wanted to create a better world so that I would no longer need to feel grief. It was all a selfish endeavor, it would benefit no one but myself.”
“Did you– do you–” Your face turned the lightest shade of pink as you thought about it, “did you really believe you were alone?”
“Yes. Ever since I was young, I’ve had no one.”
“Idiot.” He flinched, now confused, “you had me. I would have helped you, if you had only asked for it. I wanted to be there for you, not only for your stories, but for the pain I knew you felt. I would have even given you the plates, if you had just asked me. I would have met with Arceus for you, asked your questions. Volo, I…”
He watched as your face turned a darker shade as you turned your head away, and the synapses in his brain began putting the pieces together. He wondered how he had ever missed the signs. The way you would sit closer to him, the way he would catch you staring as he went about his work, how you would ask not just about his research - but about himself as a person.
Finally, he gave that feeling a name - that warm feeling he got every time he thought about your smiling face.
He loved you.
His hand reached out to cup your cheek, turning your face to look at him, asking a silent question, which you answered with a nod.
He pulled you into a soft, sweet kiss that lasted not near long enough for your liking.
For the first time since you had met, his smile was genuine, reaching his eyes as a few tears fell, a smile which you gladly returned.
To see that look on your face again - of happiness, of joy, of love , all for him - there was nothing he wouldn’t do.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t see it before. I was so lost in my pain - couldn’t see the forest for the trees, I think the saying goes, that I–”
You cut him off with a quick peck to his lips, and his heart fluttered.
“Stop apologizing. I know we can’t fix everything overnight, and it will take time for us to both completely overcome this, but… I will help every step of the way, so long as you promise not to leave me again.”
He let go of your face to take one of your hands in both of his, gripping firmly.
“I promise you. Until you tire of me, I will not be leaving you.”
Even if he had wanted to, the look you gave him in that moment locked his gaze in place.
“Volo,” you scolded. “The first thing we’re going to work on is getting you to stop being so negative about yourself. You are enough, and I’m going to get you to believe it as much as I do.”
“I don’t… I don’t know if I’m going to ever be able to truly believe that.”
Keeping hold of one of his hands, you stand, urging him to stand up with you. He obliges, intertwining your fingers with his.
“Then I’ll keep saying it until you do. No matter how long it takes. I will not let you forget.”
With you, he feels like he’s finally at home.
Your hand in his is warm compared to the cold air that surrounds you, the snow littering the ground only just beginning to melt and uncover the fresh growth underneath, spring growing new life from the cold death brought on by winter.
And as you lead him, telling him your ideas as to how best move forward from here, he feels it fitting that the season of new beginnings has brought him his own.