Chapter Text
She was surprised at how hard it was to will herself through the front door. Ryan Wilder knew exactly what she had signed herself up for. She knew, when she walked in, that she would be the oldest ‘freshman’ in the room. So why was she so pressed? It wasn’t her fault that she had a late start to college. In fact, starting at all was a miracle.
When her mother was alive, she was so excited about the idea of Ryan going to college. Before her mother poured into her and really made her think about the future, Ryan wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. For such a long time, envisioning the future meant planning how to get through each individual day. But Mama Cora gave her not only physical stability, but unwavering faith in Ryan’s ability to take her life into her own hands. College itself didn’t matter much to Ryan. She didn’t really care for school and was the type of person that was talented at most things she did, leaving her with many options for success. But Cora’s enthusiasm and the idea of signing up for something long term and completing it made her feel overwhelmingly warm inside. She could finally trust that she would be safe long enough to finish a long term investment like a four year university.
When Mama Cora was killed, that trust that had slowly rebuilt itself shattered once again Her co-dependent relationship with her raggedy ex Angelique, the only person she could rely on besides Cora, later landed her a year and a half of wrongful incarceration. Naturally, the plans she once made to go to college got delayed.
But something told her, a few months ago, that it was time for a change. She was laying in her van during one summer night, enjoying the deep navy of the night sky. She saw a shooting star – a bright light streaking the sky over the Hudson River- and stopped breathing, so awestruck by the beauty in above her. She watched the star and made not a wish but a promise, feeling it was a sign from her late Mama Cora to try and rebuild the pieces of the happiness that had been taken from her.
So here she was, standing in a sea of early twenty-somethings, about to enter her first undergraduate class. Students swarmed into and out of the building around her at such speed that she couldn’t even dramatically open the doors and create a moment out of this big life transition. Instead, she joined the crowd of students, sighing as she entered the building. Looking again at the schedule on her phone, she headed up the stairs on the left side of the history building at City College of Gotham (COG).
Her American Political Parties class was on the third floor, room 303. She filtered out of the wave of students when she got to the third floor and turned right. The classroom was a mid-sized lecture hall, and she was surprised to find rows of movie theater-like seats curved around a lecture podium. The room was maybe 25% full, with the professor shuffling in the corner of the room. She wanted to sit in the front row of seats, but nerves got the best of her and she hesitated.
Being an older student, Ryan missed most of the orientation activities. She attended the information presentations that were online, but many of the in-person events took place during her shifts at The Hold Up, a local gay bar where she worked. She wasn’t willing to reduce her work hours until just before school started. For just a second, she wished she made more of an effort to attend the social events. Then she could’ve had an ally in this classroom instead of having to do this alone, like she always did.
Scanning the faces sitting in the room, Ryan settled on another black girl with long braids, doodling in her notebook instead of texting like everyone else in the room. Though she looked younger than Ryan, something about her presence allowed Ryan’s shoulders to relax as she headed in her direction. Ryan shook down the backpack that was hanging off of her left shoulder and took a seat about two seats away from this mystery girl, waiting expectantly for class to start.
The professor started the class by reviewing the syllabus and explaining the textbooks Ryan would have to shell out her hard earned money on. Despite her financial-aid and living off campus, Ryan was still shocked at how expensive school could be. Ryan rolled her eyes at the review of the materials she would need, muttering to herself about how the professor had assigned his own book and was teaching as a way to get his sales up. She must have been louder than she realized when she noticed the girl next to her smirking as they made eye contact. Ryan smiled to herself, happy to have met someone she hoped could be a friend.
When class ended and everyone stood up to leave, Ryan decided to shoot her shot and see if she could earn an ally in class. She’d never been one to shy away from risk.
“What do you think of the professor?” she offered to the girl with braids, nodding to the now vacant podium.
After taking half a second to control the raised eyebrows and amused smile on her face, the girl responded - “He seems alright! I definitely don't feel like contributing to his book sales though. The class is a little more theoretical than I was hoping but hopefully there will be some opportunities to explore real world application of the topics during class discussion.”
“That’s what I was thinking! I was definitely hoping that the class would be more about all the ways the two party system is affecting our community right now instead of just learning about their history. Do you think you’re going to stay in the course?” The two of them put the last of their belongings in their bags and started heading out of the classroom.
“Yeah, for sure! More than interest, I kind of need it for my major,” she laughed a bit to herself as she continued, “I’m Jordan. Hopefully we can help each other out in class if you’re also planning to stay in.”
“Yes, please!” Ryan beamed. “I’m Ryan! Though you probably can’t tell, I’m actually a first year student. I’m in the extended studies program. I’ll probably keep this class too, it was the only Monday Wednesday class that worked well with my schedule.”
“Ok, sweet. Well if I’m ever running late, you can save a seat for me.”
“And I’ll expect the same.”
“Where are you heading next?” Jordan asked as they reached the front door of the History building.
“I’m actually headed to the English building! For whatever reason my Race, Class, and Criminal Justice class is in it.”
“Race, class and criminal justice!?” Jordan was nearly bouncing as she spoke. “That’s dope, I took it last year and thought it was a really awesome introduction to the topi. I recommended it to – wait, ok, i just realized! If you’re in this political parties and also in Race Class and Criminal justice course, does that mean you’re interested in criminal justice work?”
“Yeah, I think so. I have a… pretty complicated relationship with the subject so I’m hoping to study something that can help me figure out how to reduce the number of shit cops in this city, as well as maybe change the laws that allows so many of us to slip through the cracks or have to take shitty pleas just because of poverty.” Ryan was surprised at the look on Jordan’s face. Her eyes were so focused on Ryan as she spoke, Ryan’s voice started to shake towards the end of her sentences from the laser focused attention she was getting.
“I think – How would you be interested in maybe coming by my community center? I actually run one uptown with a couple friends. Some are students here, some are organizers, just people I’ve met from around the city. We’re also trying to reduce police presence in Gotham and we’re doing so by pouring into the young kids of Gotham instead of letting the cops do it.”
“Seriously? I would love that! That’s amazing work, Jordan!”
“Amazing! I’m actually headed in the opposite direction of you for class but let's exchange numbers? I’ll text you the hours of the center and the kind of help we’re in need of!”
“Sounds like a plan. It was so nice to meet you today, Jordan!” Ryan strutted over to her next class, excited about the fact that there were like-minded people on this campus after all.
Race, Class, and Criminal Justice started exactly the same as her earlier class though she found no trustworthy classmates to sit near. 60 people chatted amongst themselves in a disorganized lecture hall, until the buzzing of a projector revealed the teacher, Professor Kane, who was apparently teaching the class over Zoom. Ryan couldn’t believe she was paying for this man to teach class virtually for the rest of the semester, but the professor insisted that the class had nothing to worry about because of the three teaching assistants he placed in charge. Following his virtual lectures, they would break the class up into discussion groups to truly review the material.
When the professor logged off and the projector screen rolled up the wall, three insanely gorgeous people stood in the center of the room to address everyone. The first TA was a bit of a himbo, a black haired tough guy who was nearly busting out of his collared shirt. Next to him was a tall white woman dressed in a t-shirt and black jeans. Her piercing eyes and undercut gave intense lesbian vibes. After years of working at the Hold Up, Ryan prided herself on her gaydar. It didn’t help that this woman stood tall on long legs. Speaking of long legs, Ryan eyed the third TA starting from her feet and traveled all the way up her body, stopping at a gorgeous face, peppered with a cute mole on her chin. Wavy cascading light brown hair fell to her shoulders. Soft hazel eyes countered stiff shoulders and crossed arms.
Had Ryan seen her before? Is that why she couldn’t take her eyes off her? Though she couldn’t deny it also had a lot to do with the toned arms she could see underneath the thin fabric of her blouse, or the way the black jeans she wore hugged her legs in all the right places. She started thinking of ways she could rig the discussion group selection process to make sure she ended up in her-
“Hi everyone.” Ryan hadn’t even noticed the TA’s were introducing themselves until the mystery woman had opened her mouth. “My name is Sophie Moore. This is my first year TA’ing the class but I have a lot of experience out in the field. I’m looking forward to working with all of you, especially those of you in my section. So now that we’ve introduced ourselves, let me let you all know your assignments. A-G will be working with Mr. Tavaroff, L-P will be with Ms. Kane, and the rest of you, Q-Z, will be with me. Once we finish going through the syllabus, you can follow me down the hall to our discussion room.“
Ryan wasn’t any kind of organized religious, but she found herself looking up at the ceiling and mouthing “God is Good.” Thank you, Lord, for the last name Wilder.