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Thomas sat there, like he had been for the past two hours, just staring at the broken buildings in front of him.
The night stars glistened in the sky without a worry, and for a second he wished he could be one of them. He could just… exist.
So he closed his eyes and pretended that he was.
After Newt talked to him, he felt numb. He just felt numb. His mind had almost stopped working.
Newt was dying, Newt was going to go.
The words kept playing in his mind, and he didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt a hand on his cheek wiping off his tears. He didn’t have to even open his eyes to know who it was.
“Thought you were asleep,” he mumbled.
“Can say the same, can’t I?” He felt, rather than saw, Newt sitting down next to him, maintaining his distance.
They just sat there for a while, Thomas pretending none of this was happening, and Newt trying to fathom the fact that this was actually happening.
“It’s bloody freezing. How long have you been here?” Newt spoke after a while, laying back slightly, propping himself on his elbows.
“Long enough.”
They were greeted with silence, again, until Newt decided to break it.
“You know, When I was running through the maze, with you, with the others, the only thing going in my head was, don’t fall, make it through this. You've been given a chance, don't shuck it up again," he started, making Thomas turn towards him. "My leg almost gave out, Tommy. It felt like it was about to fall off. But then I looked at you, a kid not much younger than us, a kid who woke up in a place that is so bloody terrifying that it makes you want to kill yourself before someone else can, but you... you still had hope. you were just as scared as us, if not more. You didn't even understand anything yet. I kept trying to act tough but inside, I thought we would all die. But you didn't give up. You stupid self sacrificing shank, you got up, and got us out,” he chuckled, "that gave me hope. And to have that small of amount of hope you brought, taken away... it feels like shit, Thomas. it really does."
"I had a feeling, you know, that your leg might be hurting. You always limped, couldn't have been for no reason. But the minute i looked away, Minho would punch me in the back and literally shout in my ear to 'KEEP MOVING YOU SLINTHEAD'," the deadpan voice making Newt laugh.
And Thomas wished he could stop time right there.
Newt laughing for no reason whatsoever and Thomas making stupid jokes that weren't even funny, but he would say them anyway because Newt laughed at them.
All he could think was how he was leading Newt to an inevitable death.
“Newt…“ he began as Newt's laugh started dying down.
“I don’t regret it, Tommy. Not one bit," Newt interrupted him, somehow knowing what Thomas was about to say, "Hell I’m proud of it all. If we somehow survive all this, it’ll be a great story to tell at the bonfire.” He chuckled.
Thomas smiled through the tears, the smile disappearing moments later. “I promise you will, Newt,” He looked over at him, Newt instantly looking back. “I promise. We’ve lost too many people. We can’t lose you… I can’t lose you.”
Newt smiled softly, reaching out to put his hand on top of Thomas’.
“I know,” he said, his thumb smoothly moving over Thomas’ knuckles, trying to calm him. “I know.”
The motion both set something inside of Tom, along with making more tears fall down.
"You were my new hope, Tommy. As I said, I had given up. I was just living in the moment. but you, you made me want to live longer," Thomas heard Newt sniffle, and that made his tears fall even more.
“I wish we could run away,” Thomas gave out a watery laugh.
“Hmm… what do you mean?” Newt frowned, the teary smile eminent on his face.
“You and me. Just run. Live in another world. Where none of this exists,” he admitted, pulling his legs in, crossing them now.
Newt giggled. “You’re absurd.”
Thomas felt his heart break just for a few seconds, until Newt spoke up.
“Where?” he asked.
“What?”
“Where do you want to run to?” Newt asked, shifting a little closer.
“I don’t know. Anywhere.”
“Okay,” he said, calmly, looking ahead once more. “We’ll go anywhere.” A smile made its way onto Thomas’ teary face.
And they just sat there, planning the future they both knew was never going to come.