Chapter Text
I.
If his contract to Liyue, the essence, the purpose of his being, has ended, what was he without it?
Instinctively, he would argue that even if it did end (officially it did, unofficially Rex Lapis is indeed alive, even if he argues that he is merely an “ordinary mortal“ now), he's simply indebted to the lives he's taken, to the mortals he has killed whether or not innocent.
The problem lies in the fact that Xiao isn't quite sure if that is a debt which can be paid or if he is being senseless. He doesn't know but realizes...he doesn't need to. It's a battle that might be as endless as it soothes a bit of the guilt he feels, the pain he caused.
Simply put, it is something he deserves. A punishment. A possibility of redemption, too, albeit a small one. There will always be people who will need to be protected as there will always be a price that needs to be paid.
Xiao feels the slightest bit of satisfaction as he spots a (foolish) mortal laying carefree on the fields of Dihua Marsh (which is one of the most tainted regions in Liyue; he knows this because he has stained it), confirming his thoughts.
He dares to get nearer and feels a pang of irritation bubbling in his stomach. Sometimes he is fascinated by the blitheness some humans display, and sometimes, he is almost scandalized because it can cause reckless behavior, such as this.
He sees it the closer he gets. The young man wears foreign attire, his expression is soft, eyes closed while his head tilts up to the sun, drinking in its warmth. Xiao almost feels guilty, having to interrupt his peaceful little world, but he has to.
It's too dangerous here.
Before he can say anything though, the man speaks up like he has sensed Xiao's presence. Which is remarkable, because he moves light on his feet, fast just like the element he wields. The man looks up to him with one eye open, smiling.
"Oh, a fellow wandering soul as well?" His voice is gentle and calm and...too friendly. There is a slight chipper, like he is happy to see Xiao.
Xiao furrows his brows. "I am not a wanderer," he corrects him, "and you shouldn't leave yourself as vulnerable as half-unconscious where you could fall victim to any surrounding danger."
The man blinks. Xiao can see his eyes more clearly now, a deep scarlet red. They remind him of something…but of what?
"I appreciate your concern even though it is unwarranted," the man gestures to the sword on his hip. "However, now that you mention it, should I be worried about you being the threat you spoke of?"
He doesn't grasp his weapon though, but instead lifts his hand to his chin, grinning. His hand is bandaged, Xiao notices and wonders if he is hurt, if it's a recent wound or not.
He tsks, turns around without a word and leaves.
As the sun sets in deep, red hues he knows what the careless man’s eyes have reminded him of.
II.
He doesn't expect the young man at the Inn mere days later, smiling like he would deserve such a friendly notion, such openness. He doesn't understand it. They're strangers.
"I was not aware that you are an Adeptus-," he starts but Xiao cuts him off immediately. "Why are you here?" he almost hisses but keeps his voice low enough.
The man bows slightly. "Partly as a thank you, mostly because I'm quite interested in the cultural aspects of Liyue and to find out that you are an Adeptus was...let's call it a fortunate coincidence."
Xiao still doesn't understand and his frown grows deeper. "Speak clearly. What do you want? A blessing, is that it? Or do you want to make an offering, ask a question about your future and leave? I believe the tarot ladies in the harbor are of better aid than me since Adepti are not fortune-tellers."
The man looks surprised for a moment, coughs (or is he laughing? Xiao can't make it out because the foreigner hides it behind his hand) and clears his throat. "No, that's not it. I was simply intrigued by the Adepti, especially the Yaskhas, having read some literature after our encounter. I was...merely excited to have met you." What.
An awkward pause passes before the man continues. "Considering the current political climate, I was enthusiastic to learn about the point of view from an Adeptus whereas I was only able to ask people from the harbor before. One of life's beauties is the never-ending voyage of knowledge you sail on, is it not?"
There is again a silence that goes unnoticed because Xiao needs to process what this human has said.
Political climates? An opinion about politics from an Adeptus? An opinion on that, not on will I be successful? Who is my fated, loved one? How many children will I have? If there is one unwritten rule in Liyue, it's that the Qixing deals with economic and political matters (naturally, not really "unwritten"), while the Adepti are usually sought after for their insights regarding holy and personal matters.
So what is this?
He sighs. "What specifically is your question?"
"Are you still pursuing your duties even though the contract they were founded upon has expired?" He says in a collected, almost innocent voice. Like it wouldn't be an affront to Xiao, a provocation.
Xiao narrows his eyes.
"How is this a political matter if not a personal one of mine?"
The man hums, nods, "Let me rephrase then. The Qixing seems to praise the notion that the era of the Adepti has ended while the one of men has started. Yet, when I've read about you, I could not shake off the feeling that you were...guarding where I was, fulfilling your duty and not there by chance. It made me wonder, especially after I asked the locals. 'Ah, the Vigilant Yaksha? He continues to protect Liyue not by contract, but by his benevolent, kind heart,' they said."
Xiao grimaces. Benevolent, kind heart and his name should not be in the same sentence, whatsoever. It makes his stomach churn in all the wrong ways.
"The remnants of past gods and monsters do not simply disappear because a contract has ended, nor does my debt do. It is simply beyond me how...some people believe such nonsense, such as I am protecting Liyue out of kindness or nobility? It's solely guilt and responsibility, and you would know if your sources were credible."
The wanderer doesn't seem offended by his choice of words nor his slightly hostile tone. His eyes search the distance instead, thinking. "Hmm…," he hums, "if it's guilt and responsibility, then who holds you accountable?"
Xiao sneers. "It is something a mortal like you is not able to comprehend anyway." The guilt of thousands of lives will always hold me accountable.
He leaves then because his mind feels jumbled and messy. He hates being reminded of the reasons why he is cursed. Cursed with his debt, chained by his sins.
He sits by the river, it's already evening with the stars out, blinking back at him, when he notices that he doesn't even know his name. He scoffs, why would I need to anyway?
III.
A week later he's leaning against the bridge's railing, studying his reflection in the water when he spots a familiar face behind him. He sighs. He would be angry, should at least be annoyed but somehow, he feels resigned.
"Assuming you have read about me as you've stated, you would've known that as a yaksha, I carry an immense amount of karmic debt around me that affects my surroundings, especially mortals."
Xiao shakes his head when the young man steps closer, ignoring his warning. He rests his elbows on the balustrade but keeps a considerable distance. His eyes lock on the waters with a dreamy expression. "Mmh, I'm aware but remain unbothered."
The yaksha's frown deepens and he forces himself not to snap. "Why are you seeking me out again?"
"Is mere company not enough?"
"I'm the worst company you can think of." I corrupt everything around me.
"Again, your concern is unwarranted."
Xiao stares at him, frustrated. "I don't understand you."
"Why do you have to?"
There is again a silence that weighs heavily on his shoulders and he wonders how the foreigner seems to… be so breezy compared, closing his eyes with the sun on his face and a smile on his lips. "You're not from here,’’ he states, glimpsing at the man's clothes.
"Correct. I'm from Inazuma,” well, why are you wasting your time here, bothering me?
"What are you doing in Liyue?"
"Have I not told you yet? I'm a wanderer," he turns around to face him, eyes bright and hand extending out for what? "Kaedehara Kazuha, a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
His hand lays awkwardly between them, before Xiao finally understands and hesitantly reaches out to grab it.
"And I assume I shall refer to you as Adeptus Xiao?"
"Just Xiao," and it's not meant to be a friendly proposal either, he often feels uneasy being addressed in such a formal way next to the Adepti who have always been on Liyue's side, who did not harm their country like he once had.
He tries to shake off these thoughts, asking, "What does your name mean?" instead.
"It can bear many meanings in Inazuman depending on how you write it. Most prominent ones are calm, harmony or...leaf." As on cue, he pulls out a leaf, eyeing it with a fond smile.
IV.
The Vigilant Yaksha does not like crowds or people, or so it seems but Kazuha quickly sees through it. It's not really hostility or bad intent.
It's tragic.
Upon sensing him, he felt a certain gloomy aura, the kind that darkens the atmosphere and leaves a sinking feeling in your chest. The kind that makes you sad in an unexplainable way. He recognized the feeling instantly because he knew it from his homeland.
Knew it from the way people seemed lost and scared, from the way you'd look at them, see their empty, aimless eyes and knew, without having to ask, that those people lost their visions.
That is the strange thing about Xiao because he has a vision.
Kazuha was ready to reach for his sword when he heard smooth, silent footsteps and felt the air around him change and thin out like a warning. But as soon as he opened his right eye, he stilled.
Everything about him seemed so eerie, and yet those yellow, bright eyes looking back at him seemed gentle.
In a melancholic way. Gentle in the way how petals from sakura trees fall to the ground, crumbling and fading. It was easy, thinking of him as a threat when he had sneaked up to Kazuha the way he did, and now it is easier to mourn him. Because as soon as you saw his eyes, those very somber eyes, you knew he was a lost soul.
And after their initial meeting and skimming through the few books he was able to find on the yakshas, he was sure of it.
He sees him in Dihua Marsh again near the Inn, standing on the bridge and gazing into the waters below. He walks over with slow steps as if not to startle a frightened cat, keeping his distance.
When he looks into the river, he notices Xiao's reflection looking back at him with piercing eyes. Almost accusing.
They have a little talk and that's that. He leaves and thinks that perhaps the yaksha does not wish for any company. Wishes to be alone even though Kazuha wishes otherwise. It's not to console him, it's something else he can't name yet but it's the same feeling that drove him to fight for the resistance. The feeling like it's simply the right thing to do.
He still decides it's better to leave a mourning soul be, even if he does not understand why Xiao keeps fighting a battle that cannot be won as much as Xiao does not understand him wanting company.
"I'm the worst company you can think of."
Oh, what a hurt soul. His heart ached a bit when he heard that.
V.
Among Guili Plains he sits and spots a glaze lily hiding behind the grass strands, not fully blooming yet. He smiles to himself, wasn't there a myth that once you mused and sang, the flower would open at the sound?
That there was once a person who loved this flower unlike any other?
It's understandable though, the blues of the flower sparkle in the sunlight like shimmer. It's easy to fall in love with the sight.
He closes his eyes and lets his mind wander. "Violet sky and orange spring,
Unforgiving rain and anchor ring,
Shall come to my rescue and,
Let the lilies hear me sing, so…," he opens one eye to check on the lily, giddy hope in his chest. The flower still hasn't opened up though.
Perhaps it needs an extra nudge?
"So...they may bloom in a peaceful spring." The flower rustles a bit as the wind breezes across the field and Kazuha has to stop himself from jumping up in excitement, yes, clearly that was the nudge the flower was waiting for-
"It's summer," a voice sounds behind him and he jumps, turns around. Any momentary anxiety is gone as he recognizes the person before him.
"Fate brings us together once again, hm?"
Xiao grunts and avoids his glance to eye the lily instead.
"Did you like my little poem?"
Xiao barely nods and for a moment his face looks so bare and vulnerable, like he's grieving something. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Kazuha notices his turmoil and pats the spot next to him, says, "As to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Xiao doesn't sit down but meets his eyes. "I was simply patrolling the area when I spotted you from afar."
"Oh? So you came to say hello to your new acquaintance? I feel honored to know that an adeptus intentionally seeks out my presence. If I may be frank, I even feel slightly flustered," he half-jokes in a playful tone.
"No," Xiao responds, "that's not it," but refuses to elaborate. Kazuha decides not to push it, after all, he is talking to a powerful deity-like being and he's uncertain if he gets away with teasing for a second time.
"Well, I'm glad to see that any danger seems to be disposed of with you here. I suppose you have a bit of time on your hands then, do you not? Why not take a walk as the sun sets, I hear Mingyun Village is not far, and it offers a great amount of hills to rest and watch the sunset on."
Xiao doesn't talk much on their way there. And Kazuha can't help but wonder if it's just because he likes to keep to himself or if he has a lot of words on his tongue he dares not to say.
Either way, I have a lot to learn about you, haven't I?