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It’s on a quiet spring evening at the most expensive restaurant in the neighborhood that Dongheon finds himself, as he so often does, staring at Yeonho sitting across from him through a kind of lush, pink glow, Yeonho the most beautiful thing in the world even as he does the most mundane of activities: taking a sip of ice water and reading through the menu with a relaxed expression set upon his soft features.
In the two years that they’ve been dating, it’s become a monthly tradition of theirs to dress up in their nicest clothes for a candlelit dinner here, and it’s always crowded in the evenings, but the chatter of other patrons blending together into a low and soothing hum, the soft melody of the live piano, and the warm, golden lights make it all feel rich and sticky like honey, a feeling not unlike those first few minutes when they wake up in bed together after one of them spends the night at the other’s apartment.
Enchanting. Surreal.
Dongheon certainly can’t believe that he’s actually doing this, the little velvet box hidden in his suit jacket pocket feeling like it weighs a million pounds and is burning a hole through the fabric as his heart beats wildly, his mind in a tizzy.
He’s already planned it all out. Just when they’re finishing dessert, in those lingering moments where usually, Dongheon will hesitate to ask for the check because he doesn’t want their date to end, he’ll instead reach across the table for Yeonho’s hand, and he’ll look into Yeonho’s eyes and give him the speech that he painstakingly prepared like the lyrics to a song, every word crafted just right. Then, Dongheon will finally take out the little velvet box that he’s been carrying around with him for weeks, always waiting for just the right moment to reveal the gorgeous, sparkling silver ring that he’d secretly bought last summer after spotting it in the window of the luxury jewelry store downtown.
With all this in mind, Dongheon doesn’t stop looking at Yeonho and feeling the weight of the ring in his pocket for the entire meal, even as they share their usual exchange of playful conversation, Dongheon drinking in Yeonho’s sweet voice and bright laughter, catching Yeonho’s gaze and drowning in his chocolate eyes and strawberry cheeks, every cell in Dongheon’s body trembling with how much he loves him and Dongheon’s heart beating fasting and harder as the end of the meal draws closer and closer.
It’s as they’re finishing up their shared slice of the restaurant’s signature angel food cake that Dongheon finally wraps his hand around the box in his pocket, his skin tingling with excitement, his carefully chosen words right at the tip of his tongue.
But then, Yeonho gives him this painfully affectionate look like a little puppy dog, his smile lovely and happy, his eyes shining, and just like that, Dongheon’s courage completely dissolves away, and as he sits back in his chair and lets go of the box in his pocket, Dongheon’s gaze slips down to the floor, Dongheon sighing to himself at yet another failed attempt while disguising it well behind an easy smile.
This is Dongheon’s third attempt already, and he’s growing increasingly frustrated with himself for being such a coward.
About a week later, Dongheon decides to try again. They plan for a date at the nearby art museum and Dongheon plans to pop the question at their favorite spot, the impressionist gallery. Surrounded by the pastel colors and the billowing swirls of open movement and light, it’s both romantic and familiar, the perfect atmosphere for the perfect proposal. And that’s what this is all about, really. Dongheon just wants it all to be perfect. Their perfect moment captured in time.
But yet again, when the moment arrives, and it’s just the two of them all alone under the soft lights enveloped by all that quiet, whimsical beauty, Dongheon is unable to shatter the delicate balance of it all, and instead, they spend the next few hours looking closely at their favorite paintings and murmuring their impressions to each other like they’ve always done, both thoughtful and silly like they’ve always been.
As the weeks go on, Dongheon makes several more attempts at all of their favorite date spots. A walk at sunset along the river, laughing together as the water sparkles in the glow of orange and purple. A night drive out to the countryside to watch fireworks light up a clear, starry sky, the two of them lying together on a blanket spread out in the middle of a wide and empty meadow of lush, green grass as they ponder the world and the universe. A midday stroll along the cobblestone path through the park, the trees blossoming with fragrant spring flowers and the sunlight warm and tickling their faces.
Dongheon even makes a few attempts after sex, when the two of them are dizzy and breathing heavily in each other’s arms, spent and satisfied soaking in the heat of each other’s flushed, naked bodies. They melt together in the cradle of Dongheon’s bed, kissing and touching and squeezing each other everywhere they can reach, and Dongheon’s head swims with thoughts of just going for it, just reaching for the velvet box temporarily hidden in the top drawer of his nightstand while his blood is still pumping hot and he’s got Yeonho moaning in his ear. But even then, even at those most raw, most intimate moments, it always ends the same.
Again and again, the perfect moment arrives, and again and again, Dongheon is too overwhelmed by it to act.
Spring transitions to summer, and it’s in the cool blue light of an ordinary Saturday morning that Dongheon and Yeonho step out of their favorite coffee shop, having just enjoyed their usual favorite iced americano and now headed back to Yeonho’s apartment for a peaceful day of Netflix and cuddles. They’re both dressed casually in light jackets, t-shirts, and jeans, hair still messy from sleep, both of them relaxed and unburdened as they walk together, hands brushing between them in comfortable silence.
The sidewalk and the streets are all empty this early in the morning, the sun not even fully risen yet, like it’s really just the two of them all alone in their beloved neighborhood, in their beloved city. A mild breeze rolls through, Dongheon looking at Yeonho beside him, and it’s then that something suddenly clicks into place.
There’s nothing particularly romantic or special about this moment, when they’re walking together the same way that they’ve walked together hundreds of times, and Dongheon never would have planned for it to happen like this, but somehow, deep down inside, he just knows it to be true, that the perfect moment he’s been waiting for could have been any of them, and that it was never about one particular moment at all.
He steps out in front of Yeonho and turns to face him, Yeonho stopping and meeting Dongheon’s eyes with slight confusion.
“Yeono-ya,” Dongheon says softly, and he reaches to take Yeonho’s soft hand in his own, lifting it to place a slow, gentle kiss in the center of Yeonho’s palm, then another kiss over Yeonho’s knuckles, and then, Dongheon lets go, Yeonho’s eyes going wide and his lips parting in a quiet gasp as Dongheon goes down on one knee on the sidewalk, Dongheon’s hand slipping into his jacket pocket and curling around the same little velvet box that he’s still been carrying with him at all times.
And as for the whole speech that he had planned, the dozens of different variations that he had meticulously prepared and tirelessly practiced, Dongheon knows now that he doesn’t need any of that, and that all he needs is to speak the truth, pure and simple and directly from his heart.
“I love you so much,” Dongheon says, “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He holds the little velvet box out in front of him and finally opens it, finally gets to watch as Yeonho’s eyes grow wet and as Yeonho covers his own blushing face with his hands.
“Will you marry me?” Dongheon asks, hardly able to get the words out before he softly laughs, his voice thick, choked up with emotion.
Yeonho doesn’t say a word, just stares into Dongheon’s eyes, and then, he nods, slowly, over and over again, not looking away as he lowers his left hand for Dongheon to take, his right hand still covering his face, Yeonho frozen as Dongheon carefully removes the ring from the box and slips it onto Yeonho’s finger, a perfect fit.
There’s a beat of silence, and then, Dongheon is standing up, slipping the now empty box back into his jacket pocket and taking Yeonho into his arms, the two of them embracing tight, Yeonho winding his arms around Dongheon’s shoulders as Dongheon’s hands fist into the fabric at Yeonho’s back.
They close their eyes and melt into it, into each other, and when they pull back a moment later, Dongheon immediately reaches for Yeonho’s face, the two of them closing their eyes again as they kiss deeply, passionately, and truly, truly perfect.