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There’s a saying that goes around in the campus of La Salle: walang hindi dadaan kay Mark Lee.
Mark Lee, the ever charming senior from fine arts. Mark Lee, the student with a confident air around him and a free spirited bounce in each of his step, his guitar strapped behind him. He is the man of everyone’s dreams and saying that is no exaggeration either.
One wouldn’t need a degree to figure out that he has the whole school on the palm of his hand (even if it’s calloused from how often he plays the guitar, they seem to love him either way). So it’s no secret either that every student has at least fallen in love with him once. Mga awitin at boses niyang nakakahumaling, bawat salita’y nakakapanlambot ng tuhod. The boy who you’d love to take home for Christmas to meet your parents, the boy who’d write and sing you a song that transcends past the greatest poets, the boy who is deserving of the stars.
But despite Mark being the epitome of romance and the dream of every hopeless romantic alike, only a few have actually taken him home. Even fewer have dated him. Still, it doesn’t stop them from trying. At least at one point in your life, you will fall for Mark Lee.
Jeno Lee is no exception to this rule.
Ang pinagkaiba lamang ni Jeno sa iba ay matagal na siyang sumuko at umasang mapasakanya si Mark. Shin Yuna from medtech and Lee Taeyong from multimedia arts didn’t even stand a chance, what more a man like Jeno?
Jeno Lee, just another freshman from architecture na nahumaling din sa mga ngiti at lambing ni Mark Lee. Just another face that Mark will smile and pass by the white cream halls and forget. A small, insignificant speck in Mark’s vast, star-littered sky.
Kaya kontento na si Jeno sa ganito—short, friendly lunch dates with Mark when their schedules allow them, study sessions in the library and sometimes in the field when the weather’s just right. Mga biglaang yayaan sa pizza place or sa coffee shop na katabi nito.
Sometimes, Jeno’s friends from junior high (na ayaw siyang tantanan kahit nasa kolehiyo na sila at iba na ang mga kurso) would tag along. Sometimes, they won’t. Si Donghyuck lang ang hindi niya mataboy minsan dahil siya ang nagpakilala sa kanya kay Mark. He still remembers that day—sa gitna ng isang karinderya malapit sa campus, magulo, maingay, ngunit tila bang tumigil ang buong mundo noong unang magdampi ang kanilang mga mata.
Jeno knew at that moment that he was caught—hook, line and sinker. Mark Lee, in his simple white polo and dark green pants, breathtakingly stunning amidst the noise, holding a hand and a warm smile out to him. Jeno only found out that Donghyuck invited Mark to be his tutor in one of his classes when he got there. Biglaan nangyari ang lahat at kasing bilis nito ang pagkahulog ni Jeno sa mga matatamis na salita ni Mark.
Donghyuck introduced him and from what Jeno knows, Mark only saw them as nothing but a bunch of freshmen to take care of. It was evident in the way he took care of them. Sweet, fond and so irrevocably platonic. Walang halong malisya o kung ano man. Madalas niya pa silang sinasabihan na huwag masyadong mahiya sa kanya, na ituring siyang parang kuya na p’wede nilang sandalan kahit ano mang mangyari. A brother, in short.
In truth, Jeno felt guilty for having feelings for him in the first place. It was strictly a senior-junior, mentor-mentee, platonic relationship. And for him to develop such feelings felt more than wrong. Ngunit lumipas ang ilang taon ay unti-unti na silang mas naging komportable sa isa’t isa. Hindi man sa paraan na gusto ni Jeno ay kahit papaano, ramdam niyang napapalapit sila sa isa’t isa. Hanggang sa sinukuan na ni Jeno ang pag-deny sa kanyang nararamdaman at hinayaan niya ang sarili niyang humanga at mahulog sa kanya.
“Para kang asong ulol kung makapaglaway d’yan,” ani Donghyuck bago pumwesto sa tabi niya sa grandstand.
Jeno playfully pushes him away, avoiding his gaze to hide the blush on his face, “Ang tagal mo kasi. Halos himatayin na ako sa init dito.”
Nanlaki ang mata ni Donghyuck, his hand dramatically over his chest, “Bakit parang kasalanan ko? Ikaw ‘yung grabe makatitig kay Mark d’yan. Baka dahil sa kanya kaya ka naiinitan.”
“Bunganga mo talaga, Haechan,” Jeno hits him with his bag, “Pasalamat ka ngang hinintay pa kita. Nakikisabay ka na nga lang saamin ni kuya.”
“Sorry po,” Donghyuck bows. “Saan na daw ba kuya mo? Bilisan niya kamo, namimiss ko na siya.”
Jeno scowls at him, “Tantanan mo kuya ko kundi iiwan talaga kita.”
“Gan’to na lang,” agad na inakbayan ni Donghyuck si Jeno upang hindi ito makatakas, “Tulungan mo ‘ko kay kuya Jaehyun tapos tulungan kita kay Mark. Ayos ba?”
“Pass.”
“Sige na, Jen!” Donghyuck whines. “Tignan mo ‘yang crush mo. LIteral na exact opposite mo. Matalino, sporty, gwapo—”
“Tangina mo.”
“Magalang!” Donghyuck adds. “So dapat may gawin ka rin para makuha atensyon niya.” He gestures towards Mark who’s playing football along with his batchmates and other juniors (Jeno’s not jealous, he definitely isn’t), and he looks even more gorgeous covered in sweat and his unbuttoned uniform. The world can be so unfair sometimes, especially to Jeno’s poor, poor heart. “Ayan, MVP pa siya, 2 years sa soccer club; eh, ikaw? Saka ka lang ata nakakahawak ng bola ‘pag nagjajakol ka. Oras na para bola mo naman ang paglaruan ni Mark.”
“Kuya!” Jeno waves at the man standing across the oval, the familiar car parked close behind him. Jeno’s just so lucky his brother came in time.
Jaehyun waves back in his suit and shades, curly hair flowing from the light breeze, his dimpled smile striking right into Donghyuck’s heart. Jeno grabs his bag while Donghyuck’s still in his daze. Unfortunately, Donghyuck later manages to catch up to him, “Nagiging prangka lang ako, Jen! ‘Di mo makukuha atensyon niya kung wala kayong masyadong similarities.”
“Kuya ko nga gusto mo eh. Siya mabait, matalino, maayos buhay. Ikaw dugyot na wala pang pera para magcommute mag-isa.”
“Syempre babawi ako sa diskarte. Sa tingin mo, ba’t ayaw kitang tantanan kahit college na tayo?” Donghyuck asks him, his smile as mischievous as it was back then when they were just rebellious teens in junior high school.
Jeno’s jaw drops, “‘Wag mong sabihing sinundan mo lang ako sa La Salle para sa kuya ko.”
Donghyuck grins at him before turning and running. He sing-songs, running towards Jaehyun with wide open arms, “Kuya Jae!”
—
Ayaw man aminin ni Jeno ay may point pa rin si Donghyuck. Sa tatlong taong magkakilala si Jeno at Mark, wala silang masyadong mapag-usapan na pareho nilang gusto at alam. Back in highschool, Donghyuck was something of a social butterfly because he was a bubbly extrovert willing to learn new things. May mga nakaibigan siya dahil sa mga laro, sa mga kanta at artists na hindi gaanong kilala.
Jeno still remembers when Donghyuck dated Ryujin because they both loved to dance and decided to join the dance club together. Few months later, they realized they were both gay and just weren’t made for each other. Magkaibigan pa rin sila hanggang ngayon and they even bond over their new persons of interest. Jeno just needs to find a link that could connect him and Mark, too. He just isn’t sure what. Yet.
“Hi. You busy?”
Jeno sees the knocking hand on his table before he hears the voice. He looks up, ready to shyly turn away whoever interrupted his brainstorming session, when he sees Mark himself standing in the same library he’s in.
“Hi,” Jeno breathlessly says. He clears his throat, embarrassed, closing his Sterling notebook in a flash. “No, no po, kuya.”
Mark chuckles, “I told you, kahit ‘wag ka na mag-po saakin. I feel so old, Jen.” He slides the chair across Jeno’s, “Is this taken?”
“No rin po,” Jeno shakes his head and when Mark raises a brow at him, he’s quick to correct himself, “No, it isn’t.”
“Good,” Mark praises with a smile. He leans back on his chair, sliding his hands into his varsity jacket, “What were you doing pala? Thesis?”
No, definitely not. But Jeno can’t say that. He nods and swallows around his dry throat, fiddling with his notebook’s pages, “Was just skimming.”
“For a class?” Mark leans in, so genuinely interested and eager to help. The way he smiles is so patient and understanding, like he’d give Jeno the world if he just asked, and at this point Jeno knows he’s had one too many coffee now to think that. “Maybe I can help.”
God, anong sasabihin ni Jeno? Paano ba dapat gawin para maranasan niya rin ang lambing ng isang Mark Lee? Humingi ng tutorial? Jeno definitely can’t tell him the truth, absolutely not. So he backtracks to his classes and deadlines and finally comes up with something.
“Naghahanap lang kami participants for our study,” it’s the truth and yet, Jeno feels nervous for some reason.
“How much more do you need?” Mark looks at him with wide curious eyes.
Jeno recalls the last messages his group leader sent and the conversation they had, humming, “Around 50?”
Mark smiles, “Leave it to me.”
Jeno gazes at him in surprise. He watches Mark grab his bag from behind him, rising from his seat, ready to leave. “Ngayon na?”
Nodding, Mark taps the table holding Jeno’s papers and turns to leave, “You deal with that. Ako na bahala sa iba.”
With that, he leaves Jeno with a, “Text me the details” and a winning wink.
Jeno melts right into his seat.
—
“Sige na, it’s the least I could do,” Jeno further insists, standing right outside Mark’s class.
Mark himself has been rejecting his every offer to treat him out for that favor he did for him and his thesis group. He chuckles, heart softening at the way Jeno pouts and sulks, “Jen, it’s okay, really. You don’t have to.”
“Please, kuya?”
Napatigil si Mark sa kanyang tinatayuan.
Jeno looks at him with sad puppy eyes and his pink lips are jut into a sulky pout. Mark feels his blood rush and his heart skip a beat. Everything seems to happen all at once and within the next moment, he has unconsciously said yes and Jeno immediately cheers.
Hindi alam kung paano niya kinaya umabot sa tapat ng isawan habang tinatago ang pagkapula ng kanyang mukha, pero mukhang ‘di rin napansin ni Jeno. Mark thanks the scorching weather that he could pin the blame to anytime. Still, the sun was no match against the warmth of Jeno’s hand around his wrist, wheedling through the sea of students, cars and noise and pulling him to the nearest street-food stall in one piece.
Tila bang uminit ang buong katawan ni Mark sa hiya at kilig at sa isang munting haplos ni Jeno. The weather’s heat didn’t hold a candle to the way his skin burnt into a million suns as soon as Jeno’s fingers brushed against his, to the way he smiled and lit up the entire street and beyond.
“Try mo ‘to, kuya,” inabot ni Jeno ang isang stick ng isaw palapit sa kanya. His smile is bright and excited, eyes gleaming amidst the smoke. “The best ‘to, promise!”
Without thinking twice, Mark opens his mouth and bites. Soft, flavorful meat, a little spicy, a little sour. It’s all so new to Mark, but the taste and experience are not entirely unwelcomed.
“It’s good,” Mark nods, surprised at how he’s never eaten this at least once before. “What is it?”
“Isaw,” Jeno easily smiles. Mark doesn’t seem to understand, so he explains in a way he can, “Chicken intestines.”
Mark stops chewing. He pictures it. And it’s alarming how quick his stomach starts to flip. “What?”
Jeno finally bursts into laughter, his shoulders rising in that adorable way it always does whenever he’s giggling, and his eyes disappear into pretty crescents that Mark doesn’t seem to mind anything else anymore.
“Ayaw mo ba?” linapit ni Jeno ang plastic cup niya, “Iluwa mo na lang, kuya. ‘Wag mo na pilitin sarili mo.”
And there it goes again. Kuya, kuya, kuya. Napakahirap na ngang tanggihan ang ngiti ni Jeno, paano pa kaya kung tawagin siya ng napakarahan at tamis mula sa kanyang mga labi?
Mark downs everything in one go. Jeno’s eyes widen, “Naubos mo?”
“Ang sarap kaya,” Mark even gives him a thumbs up to reassure him, but the small grimace lingering on his face is enough to send Jeno into another fit of giggles.
“Don’t force yourself,” Jeno bumps their shoulders together, grinning, “Sa iba na lang kita ililibre sa susunod.”
Mark perks up, “Sa susunod?”
Jeno seems to catch himself slip—a second too late. Agad na namula ang kanyang mga pisngi, “I mean, nakakakonsensya naman kung isaw lang libre ko sa’yo after everything you did for me.” He finally meets his gaze, hopeful, sincere, and all too warm, “Dinner, maybe?”
A part of Mark wants to say no. Nakakahiya namang hayaang magpalibre sa mas bata sa kanya; siya dapat ang responsable, ang galante, ang mapagbigay at maging mas maalaga sa kanila. But another part of him wants to say yes so bad—just thinking about it, him and Jeno, in a dim-lit dinner, with only the two of them away from the world. Before he knows it, he breathlessly says, “Yeah, sure.”
Jeno beams again. And god, the things Mark would do to see that over and over again.
“Dinner it is then,” Jeno chuckles. Mark’s eyes fall upon his lips, glossy and stained on that soft curl of his lip’s corner. “Pero ‘yung sa mura lang ah. Tight ang budget ko eh. Lalo na’t nagpapalibre rin si—”
Mark reaches a hand out and wipes the stain away. His touch is soft, a gentle caress that breaks all of Jeno’s senses and melts them right into a puddle of goo around his feet. Hindi makagalaw si Jeno sa sobrang bilis ng pangyayari—ang marahan niyang haplos, ang mainit niyang titig sa kanyang mga labi, ang pagtibok ng kanyang puso hangga’t sa halos tumalon ito mula sa kanyang dibdib.
One beat, two more, and three. Sa lakas ng tibok ng puso nya’y huli na ng makita niya ang pamilyar na kotseng unti-unting lumalapit sa kanila.
“Si kuya ba ‘yon?” Jeno breaks their gazes and watches their car park right behind Mark. Agad siyang lumapit dito at agad ring sumunod si Mark—the warm touch had been brushed away but still lingering, never forgotten.
Jaehyun rolls the passenger seat’s window down and flashes a smile, “Ito ba si kuya Mark mo?”
In the untrained eye, it’s just like any winning smile. Bright and dimpled, the same beam that Donghyuck can’t seem to shut up about. Pero kay Jeno, alam niya ang dahilan sa likod ng ngiting ‘yan. May kislap ang kanyang mga mata and he could practically hear what’s going on inside his brother’s head.
“Good afternoon po,” Mark waves and smiles politely.
Jaehyun easily waves back, his gaze jumping knowingly between Jeno and Mark, “Gusto mo ba sumabay na samin?”
Mark immediately shakes his head, but still so courteous and polite in the same way he talks to his professors. He grips on the strap of his backpack over his shoulder, his varsity jacket loud and bright that it contrasts his light, respectful smile, “No na po, kuya. I have a meeting pa po. But thank you, I appreciate it.”
Napatingin si Jeno sa kanya, nagtataka, “Sabi mo wala ka ng gagawin?”
Napatigil din si Mark. Agad na namula ang kanyang mga tenga, stammering as he flushes, “I just remembered it now. Nawala sa isip ko.”
Nakakapanibago. Charming, confident Mark Lee fumbling, like he suddenly can’t get a grip of himself. Jeno would like to think that it was because of him, pero matagal niya ng tinatak sa isipan niya na ‘wag ng bigyan ng malisya ang mga kilos niya. Mark will forever see him as that same freshman from 3 years ago, young and naive and in need of a brother who could help him.
Despite the ache in his heart, the hesitation to let go and part ways, Jeno gleams, “I’ll see you tomorrow, kuya.”
Mark nods, waving at them both again with that tamed smile of his, “Ingat po kayo, kuya Jaehyun. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jen.”
—
Jeno has found it. Ang isang bagay na p’wede nilang pag-usapan ni Mark.
Food. Street-food, in particular. After all, the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. Or in anyone’s, really.
Over the years, madalas silang magkita para kumain pagkatapos ng mga klase nila. Their majors are different—with Mark in music, Jeno in architecture—kaya minsan wala silang mapag-usapan o ‘di kaya hindi tumutugma ang schedule nila. But if they’re lucky, they go on friendly dates in restaurants together.
Laging libre pa ni Mark kaya natutuwa si Jeno na may pagkakataon na siyang bumawi. Mark seemed to like the street-food anyway and he even messaged saying he’d love to go again with him. It’s in these little moments that their differences are made more evident. Jeno Lee, scholar, simple and independent; Mark Lee, the rich, ever loved golden boy.
But with these little dates of theirs, sharing not only food but also memorable experiences, Jeno feels like their worlds are getting closer now.
“Na-food poison daw si Mark ah.”
Jeno’s head spins so fast he gets whiplash, “Ha? Sino na-food poison?!”
“‘Di mo ba narinig?” Donghyuck mirrors his confusion, “Kwinento ni Jun sa’kin. Tignan mo, absent siya ‘diba?”
Now that he thinks about it, hindi niya pa nga nakikita si Mark ngayong araw. He just thought he’s busy—class, org meetings, friends, juggling a part of his life outside Jeno. But he didn’t expect that he’d be gone today. Golden boy Mark Lee didn’t earn his name by skipping classes and disappearing without a trace. Maliban na lang siguro kung may emergency o may sakit siya. Which seems to be the case and Jeno is definitely to blame this time.
“Alam ba ni Renjun address niya?” Jeno’s stomach starts to flip too, twisting and turning in nervous knots.
“Bakit?” Donghyuck raises a suspecting brow, “Pupuntahan mo?”
Jeno kicks his shin under the canteen’s table, “Gago, nakakahiya pumunta ng basta basta lang.”
“Edi magpasama ka kay Jun.”
“Nakakahiya pa rin.” The thought of Jeno intruding Mark’s home unannounced is enough to make him shudder. Halos makain na siya ng hiya lalo na’t alam niyang siya ang may kasalanan nitong lahat. He bites his lip, his system jittery, “Padalhan ko na lang pagkain?”
Donghyuck is about to laugh when he sees Jeno’s serious face. Curious, agad siyang umalis sa kinauupuan niya mula sa harap ni Jeno at papunta sa tabi nito. He leans in enough to see Jeno’s phone screen, “Book agad la la move? Mararanasan na ba ni Mark ang alaga ng isang Jeno Lee?”
Agad siyang tinulak ni Jeno palayo, “Text mo si Renjun, tanungin mo address ng condo niya.”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “Demanding.”
—
It takes 2 days for Jeno to see Mark again. And somehow, he comes back looking even better than before.
Hindi alam ni Jeno kung namiss niya talaga ng sobra si Mark o sadyang nag-iba lamang talaga noong dalawang araw na wala siya. He looks chipper despite recently recovering from a sickness and it makes Jeno’s guilt melt away just a little.
“Jeno!” Mark beams, his smile just as adorable and charming and sweet as Jeno last remembered it.
“Kuya,” Jeno crosses the distance between them in the hall. “Kumusta ka? Okay ka na ba? Should you even be on campus? Nagpacheck up ka ba? Anong sabi ng doktor?”
“I’m okay, Jen,” Mark chuckles, a little breathless as he nearly sprinted just to see Jeno. His smile is as comforting as ever, too, and Jeno’s worried heart softens from that alone. “‘Di naman siya ganun kalala. See, I’m healthier than ever.”
May ngiti sakanilang labi ngunit ramdam pa rin ni Jeno ang pag-aalala at pagsisisi sa kanyang puso. “That’s good to hear, kuya.”
They share a look with each other. And it’s charged with things Jeno hasn’t felt before—it’s a nearly tangible tension with unspoken and buckling words. Hindi alam ni Jeno kung biglang may nagbago sa pagitan nila dahil nawala si Mark o kung siya lang ang nakakaramdam nito, pero kita ang pag urong-sulong ng kanyang mga nais sabihin.
“I’m sorry—”
“Thank you—”
Pareho silang napatigil. And then they both share a nervous giggle together.
Jeno gestures to him, “Ikaw na muna, kuya.”
“No, it’s okay,” Mark bites his lip to suppress a very obvious smile, “You first.”
Jeno unconsciously does the same, his bitten lip quivering, hesitant, “I wanted to say sorry for what happened.”
Nanlaki ang mata ni Mark sa gulat at agad niya siyang pinigilan, “No, no, it’s not your fault, Jen.”
“Pero—”
“Kumain kami sa labas ng mga ka-org ko after mo umuwi. Napasobra lang kain ko, believe me.” Mark’s face feels a little too warm, his laugh shy as he rubs his hand over his nape, “It was just me being stupid, I’m sorry.”
Tila bang parang isang malaking tinik ang nabunot mula kay Jeno. God, he was so worried, he could barely sleep these past two days and he so badly wanted to text him if he was okay. And then he just comes back here, better than ever, with a smile that makes it hard to say no to. He raises a hand, his fist curling in frustration and he weakly punches Mark’s chest, “You’re so annoying.”
Jeno’s voice is breathless from worry, from suffocating anticipation, from longing. He wants to wrap his hands around him, bury himself in Mark’s neck and take his scent in and believe that he’s really here now. He’s okay, Jeno doesn’t have to worry. And yet, “Kinabahan ako sa’yo.”
It’s almost like Mark read his mind. Gently, he grabs Jeno’s hand and pulls him closer by his wrist, “You don’t have to.” His chuckle is warm and low and Jeno could feel his own breath hitching already. “Someone told me to get well soon. Sinunod ko lang utos niya.”
The note. Isang maliit na sticky note na nakadikit sa care package box na pinadala niya para kay Mark.Tanda pa ni Jeno ang pagkabalisa at kaba sa bawat guhit at letra na isinulat niya.
I heard from Renjun :( Please take care of yourself, kuya. This isn’t much but I hope it’s enough to help! Please get well soon ㅠㅠ
-Jeno
Chuckling, Jeno’s grip tightens around itself, his wrist still around Mark’s hold. It’s enough to keep him there, to keep him grounded, to keep him in his safety and warmth. Mabilis na natunaw ang pag-aalala ni Jeno, “Ang swerte naman ng someone na ‘yan. Mukhang malakas sila sayo.”
“They are.” Mark pouts, his eyes drifting swiftly from Jeno’s lips, “Sayang nga lang ‘di nila ako binisita personally.”
Jeno pretends to think. “Baka nahiya lang.”
“Well, they don’t have to,” Mark easily says. His voice is smooth and velvet to Jeno’s ears and god, it really is so easy to fall in love with him. “They’re welcome to visit anytime.”
Their eyes lock. And in Mark’s deep brown eyes, Jeno loses himself in them. Like being wrapped in the arms of warm honey and gold. A gentle caress on every inch of his skin, rich and soft and ever loving. It just feels good to have him here again. To see his smile, to hear his contagious laugh, to be with him again. Ngunit nakakapanibago, nakakatakot ang nararamdaman niya. Tila bang umaapaw ang lahat ng emosyon niyang pilit niyang tinatago ng tatlong taon at nais ng tumakas mula sa kanyang mga labi.
Sa gitna ng pasilyo, maingay, magulo, nais niya ng sabihin ang totoo.
“Mark!” boses ni Jaemin mula sa kabilang dulo ng hall. “Buti buhay ka pang gago ka!”
Jeno immediately escapes Mark’s hold. He smiles as Jaemin and Renjun come into view, each going over Mark’s side. Agad na inakbayan ni Jaemin si Mark habang patawa tawa na lumapit si Renjun, “Ayan, kakasamgyeop mo ‘yan. Deserve, gago.”
Jaemin pauses, leaning over to Jeno like he’s some creature in a zoo. He lazily grins, “Ito na ba si ligaya?”
Ligaya? A girlfriend? Parang isang malakas na suntok ang tinanggap ng tiyan ni Jeno. Pilit siyang ngumiti, reaching a hand out to introduce himself, “Jeno po.”
“Jeno…?” Jaemin takes a second to think. And then he snaps his fingers, pointing to Jeno in excitement, “Lee last name mo, ‘diba?” Jeno nods. Jaemin gleams, “Lee! Lee-gaya. Ligaya!”
“D’yan ka talaga magaling,” palarong binatukan siya ni Renjun, “Kung pumapasok ka, matagal mo nang nakilala ‘yang si Jeno.”
“Sorry na nga, babe,” Jaemin pouts, “Pero alam mo naman na ang saya-saya ni Mark kada pinag-uusapan natin siya. Kaya ligaya—bagay, ‘diba?”
Both Jeno and Mark blush. Their hearts starting beating quicker in sync, the strings tugging one another, until Mark can’t seem to take his embarrassment anymore, “Una na kami, Jen! May klase pa kami.”
“Teka lang, dude,” Jaemin pulls him back, “Gusto ko lang i-invite ‘tong si Ligaya.”
Mark blinks, “Where?”
“Sa birthday ko, ungas,” Jaemin ruffles Mark’s hair for forgetting before turning to Jeno again, “Sa Sabado na. Available ka ba? P’wede kang sunduin ni Mark, sabay na kayo pumunta para ‘di ka maligaw sa’min.”
Through his blush, Jeno nods, “Saan po ba?”
Jaemin grins, cocky and proud, “Sa Tagaytay.”
“May resthouse sila doon,” Renjun chimes in, “Pero medyo liblib kaya madaling maligaw ‘pag first time mo pumunta.”
“Kung p’wede ka, sama ka na! The more, the happier!”
“The more, the merrier ‘yun, babe.”
“‘Di ako english major, babe.”
“Ewan ko sa’yo. Kabobohan ata major mo eh.”
The two start their bickering again, teasing and poking fun at each other like Mark and Jeno aren’t there. So Mark takes the opportunity, silencing the world out, focusing on nothing but Jeno’s flushed cheeks and hopeful eyes, a mirror of his own, “So?”
Jeno nods, heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he hopes Mark can’t hear it, “P’wede ako. Pick me up?”
Mark’s eyes immediately light up, “4 o’clock?”
Jeno shares his same smile, “4 o’clock.”
—
Malamig, presko’t mahangin. Pagkababa ni Jeno mula sa BMW ni Mark ay agad na sumalubong ang hangin ng Tagaytay sa kanya. He shudders, clutching around his sweater’s sleeves, feeling goosebumps dance across his skin.
“Cold?” Mark asks as soon as the car chimes and locks. He stands next to Jeno, pocketing his keys with his other hand, his gaze ever so attentive and caring.
“Mhm,” Jeno nods.
“Here,” Mark holds his hand out, waiting for Jeno to take it in his. Hindi agad pumasok sa isip ni Jeno ang nais niyang iparating, puso niya’y huminto, isip niya’y halos natunaw na sa pagkalito.
Jeno hesitates for a moment. Careful not to overstep and accidentally find himself falling deeper into Mark. But all that washes away with one reassuring smile, warm and comforting, just like home. And Jeno finds right where he wants to be in Mark’s hold.
Ang lamig ay natunaw, ang init at kaginhawaan ang mabilis na pumalit dito. Mark takes his hand in his and thumbs at Jeno’s knuckles ever so softly, his voice just as gentle, “Let’s go?”
As much as how warm Mark’s hand was in his, and how lovely it seemed to fit in his, Jeno had expected that it wouldn't last as long as he wants it to. Bibitaw at bibitaw pa rin si Mark. Dahil sa huli, Mark sees him as nothing but a younger friend he has to take care of.
As soon as they stepped into the resthouse, agad na pinalibutan si Mark ng kanyang mga kaibigan. People greeted him from left to right, exchanging hugs and pleasantries. Jeno is pushed to the side, quiet, only speaking when talked to, his hand now out of Mark’s hold. Bibitaw at bibitaw pa rin.
Pero nang matapos ang lahat ng pagbabati kay Mark, he immediately slips his hand into Jeno’s. He does it like it’s the most natural thing to do; intertwining their fingers together, their touch electric yet calming, their skin drawing like magnets into one another. Madali siyang hinila ni Mark papalapit sa kanya at palabas sa kaguluhan ng sala.
They find Jaemin in the kitchen with Renjun and their other friends. Mark excuses himself to get a drink for him and Jeno and they use that as an opportunity to get to know each other more. Jisung, 1st year, secondary educ. Chenle, 2nd year, polsci. Tulad nila ni Haechan, magkakilala na rin silang lahat mula highschool palang at malapit din ang bahay nila sa isa’t isa.
“Jeno!” Donghyuck appears as soon as Jeno thought of him. He seems to have a knack in appearing at the worst of times. “Nandito ka rin pala! Ba’t ‘di mo ko sinabihan? Edi sana sabay na lang tayo, alam ko naman papunta dito.”
Napatingin si Jaemin at Renjun sa gilid, tila bang may tinatago. Jeno doesn’t notice and asks Haechan instead, “Anong ginawa mo dito?”
“Nakikibirthday, syempre. Ininvite ako ni Jun.” He pats Jaemin’s shoulder, “Tsaka kakilala ko rin si Jaemin. Ilang beses na kaya akong nakiparty dito.”
“No surprise there,” Jeno rolls his eyes, “Wala ka naman atang ‘di kilala dito.”
Donghyuck gulps down his drink, messily wiping the excess off his lips with the back of his hand, “May mga kakilala rin akong may gusto kay Mark dito. Kaya kung ako sa’yo, babakuran ko na ‘yon si Mark.”
Agad na napatingin si Jeno sa mga kaibigan ni Mark. He hopes that they didn’t hear Haechan, that the music was too loud for them to hear anything, but the grin Chenle flashes at him is enough to tell him otherwise. Namumulang inapakan ni Jeno ang paa ni Donghyuck, “Ang ingay mo.”
“Akala mo nagbibiro nanaman ako? Tanga, tignan mo si Yuta—off na sila ng ka-fubu niya kaya naghahanap na ng iba ngayon,” Donghyuck forces him to face the man standing at the end of the beer pong table. The man, Yuta, stands with utmost confidence and laser sharp precision. “I heard he’s been chasing Mark for a week now. Siya na ata gusto ngayon.”
Unconvinced, itutulak na sana ni Jeno si Donghyuck palayo nang marinig niya si Renjun, “It’s true.” Napatingin si Jeno sa kanya and he sees nothing but honesty in his eyes. “I heard he fucks good, too.”
Jaemin perks in interest, “Ba’t alam mo ‘yun, babe?”
“Narinig ko lang.”
There’s been a lot about Yuta. Student from Japan, son of a rich businessman, goes clubbing in Manila every chance he gets. A god in beer pong too, it seems.
“‘Di ka pwedeng magpatalo, Jen!” hinawakan ni Donghyuck ang mga balikat ni Jeno, tila bang ginigising niya ito kung alogin siya, “Itaas mo ang bandera ng Korea!”
“Isuko mo na rin ang Bataan while you’re at it,” Chenle joins in.
Jeno blushes even more. He turns to Donghyuck in both embarrassment and betrayal when Haechan raises his hands in defense, “Alam na nilang lahat—’di dahil sinabi ko, pero napakaobvious niyo lang talaga.”
Jisung hums, sipping on his beer with his back pressed against the kitchen counter, “Ang layo ng building ko sainyo pero alam kong ulol na ulol si Mark sa’yo.”
May gustong sabihin si Jeno, kahit ano para depensehan ang kanyang sarili, pero napakabilis lahat ng pangyayari. Hindi niya pa maprocess na gusto rin siya ni Mark dahil sa excitement ni Donghyuck, “Kaya ayus ayusin mo desisyon mo sa buhay, Jeno! Papayag ka bang magpatalo kay Yuta?”
The music’s too loud, Donghyuck’s speaking over everything and everyone, and he could hear his heart beat in his ears, too. Hindi malaman ni Jeno kung ano ang kanyang nararamdaman—joy, frustration, annoyance, worry, he can’t seem to pinpoint it just yet. But the butterflies in his stomach are getting stronger and stronger, fluttering so wildly in his system that he just wants to find Mark and jump in his arms.
He wants to see him.
“Hyuck, ‘wag mo naman pressurin ‘yung tao,” Jaemin says, “Let Jeno take his time.”
“Ilang taon ng naghihintay ‘yang dalawang ‘yan,” Chenle points out, “Baka mamaya malanta na kayo. Magdiligan na kasi kayo para happy na lahat, ‘diba?”
“May guest room kami dito,” Jaemin grins, all lazy and sharp, “Gusto mo ba? Kunin ko lang ‘yung susi, teka—”
“Hi," Mark seems to have a knack for coming in at Jeno’s lowest moments, too. “Sorry, may kinausap lang. What did I miss?”
“Marami,” sagot ni Jisung.
Mark turns to them, curious, “Care to tell me?”
“Si Jeno na lang magkwento sa’yo,” Renjun smiles as he rests against Jaemin’s side, sliding his hand at the back of his waist, “He’ll be more than happy to tell you.”
Tumango si Haechan, his voice loud, “Gusto n’yo sa tahimik na lugar mag-usap? Para mas magkaintindihan kayo.”
Agad rin naman siyang sinalihan ni Jisung, “Sa pagkakaalam ko soundproof din mga kwarto ni Jaemin dito eh.”
Renjun grins, “Try to see for yourself.”
Jeno’s whole body goes warm. He pulls on Mark’s wrist, hoping to God he doesn’t understand their innuendos, and stammers through his words, “Ako na bahala.”
They all erupt into cheers and hollers. Chenle shouts as they leave hand in hand, a furiously blushing Jeno with a confused Mark in tow, “Always practice safe sex!”
Mark must have heard it from the way his skin seemed to turn warm against his. Napahigpit ang hawak ni Jeno sa kanyang pulsohan. Ang kamay niya’y nanlalamig ngunit ang kanyang mga pisngi ay halos kumulo na sa init. They weave through the crowd of people until Jeno finds a backdoor, pulling Mark with him.
Mabilis ni Jeno hinila ang sliding door pabukas at umapak palabas. He lets go and breathes a heavy sigh, resting his arms against the rails, the metal and afternoon breeze cool to his touch. It helps ease the warmth on his skin, but does nothing to his unsteady heart. Binaon ni Jeno ang kanyang mukha sa kanyang mga palad, pilit na binubura ang mga sinabi nila. Pero paulit ulit itong umikot sa kanyang utak hanggang sa maramdaman niya ang presensya ni Mark sa tabi niya.
Almost immediately, Jeno feels his system settle. Mark mirrors his stance with two cans of beer in hand, “What were you guys talking about?”
Jeno keeps his gaze on the scenery across them, letting the breeze swift past his hair, “Wala ‘yun.”
“Are you sure?” Mark turns over, resting his back against the railing and scooting closer to playfully nudge him, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
I like you.
Jeno wishes it were that easy to say. To utter those three simple words. But it just isn’t when you’re faced with the golden boy who should never settle for anything less than he deserves.
“It’s just…”
Jeno wants to say it especially when Mark looks at him like he’d wait for forever and more just to listen to him, but his nerves somehow always get the best of him. It always does. It’s hard to ask for the dust of gold when you’re undeserving of them.
“Wala, kuya,” Jeno fakes a smile, “Gusto ko lang magpahangin.”
Mark immediately asks, suddenly feeling a little out of place, “Do you need privacy?”
“No, it’s okay,” agad na sambit ni Jeno. His hand had moved on its own, wrapping around Mark’s wrist, thumbing at the skin as he smiles, “I like having you here. With me."
As soon as their skin met, halos hindi na mapigilan ni Mark ang sarili. His heart nearly flies out of his chest. His whole body feels light and elated, like walking on cloud nine. He places the can on the rail behind him before holding Jeno’s forearm too, his caress comforting, so softly reassuring, “I like being with you, too.”
Kahit ano mang gawin ni Jeno ay may kakaiba kay Mark na humihila sa puso ng lahat, nakakahumaling at nakakatindig balahibo. Mahiwaga ang kanyang mga matang kayumanggi, mga labi niyang nakakapusok ang ngiti, mga ngiting nakakapigil hininga. Jeno is powerless against him. The longer he looked at him, the more he could feel his worry melt away into the breeze.
Unti-unti silang nabalot ng katahimikan. Soon, Jeno sits beside Mark on the bench, their cold beers in hand, the colder night nipping at their skin. Kasama ang alak, mas nawawala ang kaba ni Jeno. Puso niya’y kumalma, isip niya’y unti-unting dumudulas palayo. Liquid courage, just at the tip of his tongue.
“Kuya,” tawag ni Jeno. His face is red, a little tipsy, but reasonable enough. “What do you think of Yuta?”
“From engineering?” rinig ang gulat sa boses ni Mark. Nang makita niyang seryoso si Jeno, siya’y napaisip, “He’s okay? Nag-uusap kami minsan. He’s nice, just a little too honest.”
Slowly, Jeno nods in understanding. He thinks of Mark’s words, and then their friends’, and then all of the exes and people who are after this same boy. It’s too much, he could hear everything all at once. Jeno takes another sip, “What do you like then?”
Napatigil ulit si Mark. Tinaas niya ang kanyang inumin sa kanyang mga labi and he takes a sip, too. Gustong isipin ni Jeno na nararamdaman din ni Mark ang kabang nararamdaman niya—but that couldn’t be. Mark is always confident and strung together, he can’t be nervous around Jeno.
Mark takes a sharp inhale. His words are trembling just a little and when he looks at Jeno, his eyes are clear and honest and anxious. “Someone sweet? Someone who’s caring and selfless.”
“Someone who has always been by my side,” Mark caresses Jeno’s cheek, thumbing at the mark underneath his eye, fighting the urge to kiss it and make him his. Jeno wants it all the same.
And then he chuckles, “Someone who apologizes for thinking they food poisoned me and sends me gifts to get better.”
Jeno can’t help but laugh too, blushing and chuckling in Mark’s hold until he holds him by his chin and makes him face him again. Napatigil si Jeno, ramdam na ramdam ang mainit na titig ni Mark sa kanyang mga labi, “Someone who has a smile and lips to die for.”
Buong mundo ni Jeno ay huminto at bumilis ang tibok ng kanyang puso. Halos wala na siyang marinig kundi ang kalabog ng kanyang sariling dibdib habang unti unting lumalapit si Mark, “Can I?”
Jeno nods, his body now sober and yet he feels so drunk off of Mark alone. From his comforting warmth to his touch against his, Jeno can’t seem to get enough of him. He wants more, more, more. So he leans in, tilting his head just right, his lashes fluttering shut.
And then it happens.
Donghyuck happens.
“Nandyan pala kayo!” he stands by the sliding door, cheeks warm and words slurring just a little, “Tara, pasok kayo, nag-aya si Jaemin mag spin the bottle.”
Jeno has never seen Mark so frustrated until now. He can’t help but giggle at his disappointed sigh. Mark lets Jeno’s head fall onto his shoulder, gently rubbing at his nape as he scowls at Donghyuck, “Ano kayo, highschool?”
“Young at heart,” Donghyuck’s way too tipsy to even read the room. “Bilis!”
Defeated, Mark lets Donghyuck leave before pulling away and meeting Jeno’s eyes again, “Let’s go?”
The golden boy is not used to not having things go his way. And Jeno is no one but weak against him, a little too in love and just a little drunk. He leans in, leaves a quick peck against his lips and smiles, “Tara na.”
Mark takes a moment to process what just happened. Jeno watches the gears in his head turn and giggle, knowing full well they’ll be able to remember this tomorrow. And maybe forever, together.
Just as Jeno could pull him to join the rest of their friends, muling hinila ni Mark si Jeno at hinalikan ulit ito. The kiss is sudden, slow at first, building into a faster, messier rhythm against one another. The taste of alcohol is bitter on their tongue and yet it’s so sweet, so beautifully addicting.
Mark pulls away and breathes into the kiss, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Jeno blushes, burying his head into Mark’s neck again, “Can we go now?”
Mark chuckles and Jeno could feel the low rumble of his laugh and the way his arms wrap around his waist. He slides his palm down his back, bringing him closer, closer, his lips pressing against his temple and ear, “I like you, ligaya.”
Blushing, Jeno feels like Mark hits stronger than any beer he’s ever had before. He grips at his shirt, shyly mumbling, “I like you, too.”
Mark kisses his cheek, pressing his lips into the mole under his eye like he has always wanted to. Jeno giggles and playfully pushes him away, “Tara na, kuya. I think they’re looking for us.”
Pouting, Mark stays in his seat. Jeno kisses him one last time, giggling into the kiss, before pulling him to join the rest of their friends again. Sa pagpasok nila, iilang mga mata ang agad na dumapo sa kanilang dalawa. Their gazes fall onto their joined hands and then to their blushing faces and slightly disheveled hair. The world seems to stop and stare for a moment.
Kasi ika nga nila, ang bulong sa bawat sulok ng La Salle, walang hindi dadaan kay Mark Lee.
Jeno is no exception to this rule.
But when Mark holds his hand and gives him that bright warm smile that’s reserved just for him, Jeno feels that he just won’t be another man who’ll fall in love and out of it with Mark. He’ll stay. And so will Mark.