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"is the change really going to be for the better, jonghyun?"
the moon peered over at the sun from across the sky, a bittersweet smile spreading across his face. tonight is going to be taemin's last sunset. after that..
jonghyun takes a deep breath. he doesn't even want to think about it, but the last thing he wants to do is scare the young sun, so he keeps himself composed and simply nods.
"jinki has always cycled through the bodies in this way, taemin." he wishes he could get closer to the sun, feel the warmth cover him completely. he'll feel warmth of the sun soon, but not in the way he wants. "if there was something wrong with the process, he would have phased it out eons ago."
taemin's eyes are full of sorrow, something the moon has never seen on his face before. he turns away, tries to block himself from jonghyun's line of sight, but it doesn't work. he's the biggest and brightest star in the sky. he's hard to miss.
"jonghyun," the sun's voice breaks up as he struggles to speak. "i'm so scared."
keep it together. keep it together. "there's nothing to be scared of. being human will be a beautiful experience.. you'll be the same soul in a new body. is it the mortality that scares you?" the moon tilts his head. "i can't imagine it's that. you know that heaven is real. you've been there."
the sun doesn't respond for a moment, terrified he'll speak too long and not have enough time to say goodbye.
"it's not.. that." he's careful in his tone. he refuses to let himself get carried away. "i'm going to lose you."
and the moon is speechless at that, not because he's surprised but because he'd never expected taemin to voice such a fear aloud. what's worse is there's nothing he can say to comfort taemin. he's not going to lie and say there's a chance they'll find one another again, because it's never happened with the celestial bodies of the past and it probably never will. earth is so large, and there are so many people that jonghyun knows, he knows—in all likelihood, the next time he'll see taemin will be in the afterlife.
there will come a day he sees taemin again. it's impossible that there won't be. there's never been a sun that didn't go to heaven when they died. there's never been a moon that didn't go to heaven when they died. only good souls can be celestial bodies; jinki picked them for a reason.
and oh, what a glorious day it will be, the day he and taemin meet again. he'll be able to hug taemin the way he's always wanted, admire him close up, just soak in the light and warmth that always radiates from him.
he doubts that day will take place on earth, though.
"i'm so sorry." there's nothing else the moon can say. nothing to comfort him with, nothing he doesn't already know.
the sun jolts suddenly, sunset already beginning. he wishes he was in charge instead of jinki. he looks across the sky to the moon, so much he wants to say and so little time. he wishes he'd poured his heart out to jonghyun all those decades ago when the feelings began to bloom, the times when every afternoon jonghyun lulled him to set with a poem. they were different every day, but they always were about taemin. how bright he shined, not just physically, but spritually. the warm gradient of colors his soul possessed and how endearing it was that he embraced it.
jonghyun never could embrace his true spirit, always trying to push it down and pretend that he, too, is warm. but there's nothing wrong with the cool colors of jonghyun's soul. he's serene. he can calm taemin with just a word. he's full of emotion and he lets it just pour out into everything he creates. it's always saddened taemin to see jonghyun refuse his true self. it's jonghyun's true self that taemin loves the most, more than any mask he tries and fails to put on.
the sun wishes he could tell the moon all of it, every regret and every wish, every fantasy. there's no time. his job here is done.
so he only asks one thing of jonghyun. "please don't forget me."
the moon's bittersweet smile grows wider and he pushes the words out, fast as he can, because he can feel himself fading away and he can't miss his chance to make the promise—
"i could never forget a star as bright as you, taemin."
as the sun fades from the sky, jonghyun feels fuzzier, his vision gets darker, and by the time he's hurtling down to earth, his soul is completely disembodied. if he squints, he can see streaks of stars flying past him and they make him think of taemin. jonghyun shuts his eyes, unable to handle the blur rushing around him, and hopes and prays that day in heaven isn't as far away as it feels.
jonghyun readjusts his cap so that the plastic doesn't dent in his head from the hard of the truck bed underneath him. he's gazing up at the stars, eyes dazzling. something about the stars has always compelled him, the sky and space in general, really. he finds himself pulled to the bright energy of stars in particular.
space is interesting to him for another reason, as well. he's one of very few in recorded history to be born with the distinct full moon birthmark (it being a birthmark is the world's main theory, anyway). it's gray and heavy in detail, practically identical to the real moon. some wacko in the 1960s claimed it marked people who were the moon in their past life or something stupid like that. really, jonghyun just thinks it looks cool. he doesn't know if he believes in souls at all, as of yet.
there are plenty of these detailed birthmarks around the world, not just the full moon, like jonghyun's. people have had babies with suns, planets, constellations, all sorts of space related birthmarks on their wrist. jonghyun's never met another person in his life with a birthmark like his before, but to be fair, he's only twenty-three. he's got his whole life ahead of him; who knows?
his brother jumps to sit beside him, but jonghyun is so deep in thought, he hardly notices. it takes kibum tapping on his shoulder obnoxiously hard for jonghyun to groan and ask, "what's up?"
there's this big, cheesy grin on kibum's face and already, jonghyun's not a fan. the boy taps his knees excitedly. "my boyfriend's bringing a friend to hang out with us tonight. a guy he's known since high school."
jonghyun just about scoffs, holding himself back from making a remark about how, yeah, your boyfriend bringing a male friend over to hang out with you all night isn't suspicious at all. he keeps it in only because he knows kibum would have a better remark about jonghyun being there, so bringing male friends at the river-hangout-whatever is really no problem. he can see the whole argument in his head, and he knows there's no timeline in which he wins unless an anvil falls on kibum's head from the sky.
"what about it?" jonghyun would be lying if he said his curiosity isn't at least a little piqued. if kibum's this excited, there's got to be something special about him. something interesting.
"he has the sun birthmark!"
kibum jumps up to his feet, hands shaking with thrill against his chest. jonghyun thinks for a second that it's a joke, but the sparkle in kibum's eyes says otherwise. he jumps up, too, to match his brother's stance.
"you're being serious?" jonghyun's face lights up. "this is gonna be, like, the coolest thing that's ever happened to me, jinri is going to lose it when i tell her—"
behind them, jonghyun hears a distinct clearing of the throat he's heard a million times before that means, in minho terms, stop doing whatever it is you're doing and let me see my boyfriend.
kibum's head whips around immediately, hopping off the truck to run into minho's arms, huge smile on his face, the same as every day. it's cute. its make jonghyun feel lonely, and a little bit like a failure (in that his little brother got a boyfriend way before him), but cute. they're cute.
beside the happy couple, though, is a petite figure with (the first thing jonghyun notices) long, white gloves that go just past where his birthmark must be. he's got long blonde hair, a little messy and hanging all in his face, but the style suits him, jonghyun thinks, he looks handsome even like that.
jonghyun takes cautious steps off the truck and leaps off as gently as he can, his feet hitting the dirt with a thud. the blonde makes eye contact with him, and it's like something clicks in jonghyun's mind and he just blurts out—
"taemin."
he has no idea where it came from, but it sounds right. jonghyun thinks it must be his name. the boy points a finger, funny look in his eye. "jonghyun?"
if minho had been paying attention, he probably would be asking questions, but lucky for the two, he was pulling kibum into his lap in the truck bed, the couple unable to take their eyes off one another. to the untrained eye, such a move would look a little sexual, but jonghyun knows they would never have sex in his truck. he'd kill them (and minho is apparently waiting for marriage, anyway).
"woah," jonghyun lets out. he blinks emptily. "that was really strange. is your name really taemin?"
"yeah," taemin answers, curious look on his face. "is your name really jonghyun?"
"yeah."
the two fall silent, jonghyun breaking not the silence but the straight standing around by plopping himself down on the ground, smiling up at taemin, his half-hearted attempt at an invitation.
taemin accepts the offer, plopping down a lot more clumsily, smile growing on his lips. something about happiness on the boy's face is mesmerizing to jonghyun.
"so.." jonghyun starts, scratching the back of his neck like that would make him less awkward. "kibum tells me you have the sun birthmark."
taemin purses his lips. "you can't take a picture, if that's what you were about to ask me. tell me. or whatever."
"ah, wait, no," jonghyun giggles, covering his mouth. "i have a celestial birthmark myself."
"you're kidding?" that bright smile spreads across taemin's face so that his whole expression just radiates light. "show me yours and i'll show you mine."
jonghyun peers at taemin's wrists and the tight gloves covering them. "why do you hide your birthmark, anyway?"
"my family goes to church a lot," taemin begins, pulling at the edges of his gloves. "and when i walk into a church, my birthmark starts tingling and then burning, the longer i stay in there. but not with these bad boys on." taemin gulps. "i got a little scared i was possessed by a demon or something."
"ah, well, i know why i don't get it now." jonghyun sits back, crossing his arms. "i've never been to church before."
taemin makes a thinking kinda face as he removes the fingertips of his gloves, shoving them in his pocket. "it's only fun if you believe in it, in my opinion."
probably not for me, then, jonghyun thinks, but doesn't say.
he scoots closer to taemin, holding their birthmarks next to one another's to see them side by side. jonghyun's arm hits into taemin's by accident, and before he can say sorry—
their wrists begin to glow.
the sun on taemin glows a bright orange, and the moon on jonghyun's a muted blue. the two look up at each other, as if to say, are you seeing this too?
and they don't stop glowing, even as the two stop touching skin. jonghyun squints at his birthmark and he feels his head begin to hurt, like something squeezing it from the inside.
he gets flashes, nothing concrete; looking down at the planet below him, reciting self-written poems from memory, a bright star so far away from him yet the closest he'd ever been with anyone in his existence. the clearest flash is the day it all ended, the sun and him descending from the sky, and if they could've cried, they would've sobbed their hearts out.
jonghyun's eyes meet taemin's once again with a newfound sense of affection, love reflecting back from the other's. he clutches his chest, as if it'll do anything to subside the wave of emotions washing over him from the memories of fifty years.
taemin gives no warning before wrapping his arms around jonghyun tighter than he'd ever hugged anyone in his life, jonghyun just accepting it with pride. he rubs taemin's back, in awe at how cozy the boy is, even when it's the temperature is this low.
jonghyun lies his head on taemin's shoulder, only realizing that he's crying when he hears himself sniffle. "i'm sorry i.." he shivers. "i'm sorry i forgot you."
"oh my god, no," taemin pulls away just to look him in the eye. "sweetheart, no. you didn't forget, okay? you just needed a little refreshing." he's sniffling himself, but that smile will not go away. "i did too. it's okay. we're okay."
jonghyun wastes no time in throwing himself into taemin's arms again, reveling in the feeling of the boy's limps wrapping around him completely as they hit the ground.
"i can't believe i found you," he mumbles into taemin's skin.
taemin turns and lifts jonghyun's chin, cupping a hand against his now-rosy cheek. "never lose me again, okay?"
jonghyun nods, too enthralled by the warm glimmer in taemin's eyes to tear his own away. kibum and minho haven't even noticed them or their renewed marks, too caught up in their own personal world to care. but jonghyun's alright with that. they don't need an audience. they had an audience of billions for nearly half a century. it's so much nicer to be virtually alone with taemin, only jonghyun able to see the beauty that is his face and the kindness in his golden spirit.
"never ever again," jonghyun promises, locking a pinky with taemin's. "from now until heaven?"
taemin nods, happy tears falling once again. "from now until heaven."