Work Text:
Ginro was in the middle of solving one of the many math problems that he had yet to fully understand, when he was pulled away from his concentration, and right now he can't decide which annoys him more, stupid math or Amaryllis and her gay crush on his cousin.
Hes not homophobic or anything okay. This girl just cannot shut up. It's like she just decided to bother Ginro with all these ramblings instead of actually helping him to study.
"—and she called me cute! Koha-chan thinks I'm cute! I almost had a heart attack, you have no idea—"
"Hhhhh!!!" He disrupts her rambling with his whining, "I thought you came here to teach me math, not to listen to your useless pining or whatever."
He has a math evaluation test in a few days and, well, he's definitely sure he'll never pass math. He really had better options on who to ask as math tutor, but they all either tease him too much or are too busy with their own studies.
Matsukaze offered to help but he already helps him with a lot of things, Ginro can't be too dependent on him, that's bad. He could also ask Senkuu or Gen but sometimes those guys ask for crazy favors after. So unfortunately for him, Amaryllis is the Only Valid Option. She's not as good but she's good enough to pass, that's plenty.
(He will not talk about how he begged and cried so she will tutor him, no way. He did not do that)
"Oh, that. I forgot about that." She admits, not even bothering to make up an excuse
His life is over.
"How dare you?!" He weakly throws a plushie, as the plum-haired girl dodges it swiftly, "My life is at stake here, you know? If I fail math again, I'm done for! My life is going to be in shambles, I will be living in the streets and–"
"Stop being dramatic." She rolls her eyes, probably regretting the day she taught Ginro how to fake-cry, "Which problem are you on right now?" She scoots closer to him, taking a better look at the workbook.
It's either Amaryllis knows how to explain the lesson as well as Sai-sensei does (probably not), ooor that her voice is just like Ruri's where it's easy to focus and listen to (that's more possible). He doesn't care though, as long as he gets to understand how calculus works.
Little does he know, Amaryllis barely has no idea what the hell she's even supposed to be teaching him. She's only waiting until Ginro remembers that she's a year below them. For fucks sake, what the hell is going on with calculus. He needs like a hundred prayers for the Gods to take pity on him to let him pass. Fly high Ginro.
He manages to solve at least three more of the stupid math problems in peace until Amaryllis falls back into her pining ramblings things. Ginro puts on his headphones and continues to suffer with math.
---
"Sometimes I just want to. . . hold her hand, you know?" Kohaku buries her reddening face in the palm of her hands. Ginro snorts. There's something absolutely hilarious about seeing Kohaku this timid.
"Then why don't you do it?" He looks at his notebook again and starts to feel nauseous. Ginro had never been this studious in his entire life; he might collapse after the exams. Super Studying Syndrome or something.
"No way. My palms always just start going sweaty. It would be embarrassing"
"You're always sweaty."
"Shut it."
"Ohhh how indecent! Sweaty little Kohaku-chan holding hands before marriage! Scandalous!"
"Shut the fuck uuuup!!!"
"Uh huh. I think those who need to shut up are the ones rambling about their crush so early in the morning." He cackles at Kohaku's grumpy face.
"Fine I'm shutting up." She says that, but moments later, she's back on with the gay shit. Can't a boy do math in peace?? Is that too much to ask for? He can't talk back like that with Kohaku though, she's scary.
Ignoring the lesbian distreess of his cousin, Ginro turns his attention back to the myriad of math problems he'd yet to solve. h.
"Do you think I should ask Ruri-nee for advice?"
He's not really listening or paying attention but when he sees fire he screams, "Kohaku, the pancake is burning!"
"What?!" Unable to decide between putting the fire off or running away from it as far as possible, she just smacked the whole pan off the stove, burning her hand in the process. She lets out a scream so loud and dramatic he's certain their neighbors woke up from that.
---
Hungry and grumpy, Ginro sits near the bed where Kohaku rests (why is she put in a bed, it's just a hand burn?!) as Ruri sorts out the billing and whatever documents in the room next to them. Minutes later, Amaryllis comes rushing into the clinic, all panicked and worried like she's Kohaku's soon-to-be-widowed wife or something.
"Does it hurt anywhere else?" she asks, cradling Kohaku's uninjured hand in between hers. She was looking in her eyes as if this was to be their last moments together.
Ginro stays still in his seat, hoping he'd blend in with the air or something.
"I'm fine. You worry too much." Kohaku gives her a smile filled with so much affection. These two are so cringy he might cry. No, seriously, what are they so dramatic for it's not like she's in her death bed or anything.
Ginro wants to be swallowed by the ground right now.
"At least warn me when you plan on kissing or something so I can leave!" He blurts out.
The mirrored look of contempt was thrown at him, but was quickly replaced by embarrassment as they attempted to not glance at each other. And of course Ginro had to be stuck in the same room as these pining idiots. It was definitely more frustrating than Ruri and Chrome.
"Damn!" He slams the door on his way out.
If Ginro wants to pass math he's gonna need peace and quiet. And in order to achieve that, he needs to get these two to settle their shit so they can finally shut up. And Ginro just has the perfect plan.
---
"So, like, what's Amaryllis' favorite food or something?" He asks one afternoon, blissfully unaware of the disasters that's yet to come.
"Why are you asking?"
To help you finally get a girlfriend. I'm tired of this shit, Kohaku. And I still have to take a math test tomorrow so both of you need to shut up, is what he wants to say. What he does say is: "So you can thank her, since she went all the way to the hospital for your gay hand burn."
"Oh alright."
"So? What kinds of things does she like?"
"Uh- um- pearls? and seashells...oh pudding too! She said she'd been addicted to them recently."
For someone who loves food too much, half of the things she said weren't even food. And they barely have any budget for that expensive pearls stuff, and seashells sound like a lame gift. Pudding is just eggs and whatever else stuff right? Easy peasy then!
"Okay so, you're gonna make pudding for her then give it as a gift and profess your undying love and then you live happily ever after and then I'll pass math! perfect happy ending for this fic." Ginro is so proud of his plan.
"Hah! That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of."
"But that's what Gen did when he confessed to Senkuu!"
"He gave him some really expensive sciencey stuff on his birthday, not pudding on a Wednesday. None of this is the same. I'm not even gonna confe–"
"No! It's technically the same!"
"Fine, whatever. But if this goes wrong, math is gonna be the very last thing you're gonna worry about." Ah there it goes, Kohaku's signature look where she looks like she would kill him on the spot if he even breathes the wrong way.
"Yes ma'am!" He salutes like a soldier and marches to the kitchen.
He didn't just give himself more problems to worry about. Definitely not, nope! They're just making some stupid pudding. What could go wrong with that?
---
Everything is so wrong, and Ginro is so gonna die.
When he offered that they're going to make pudding, Ginro of course thought they're going to be making normal pudding, not this...whatever organism that his cousin had managed to breathe life into. What caused this? It was just a mixture of some eggs, milk, sugar, and the right amount of chemical x, it should've turned out normally!!
"Kohaku, your glob thing is moving!" He screeches as he runs away from the island, cowering behind the door. Much to Kohaku's surprise, her creation was indeed, moving like a goop monster. But Kohaku, being herself, approaches the creature without a speck of caution or fear.
"Are puddings usually this jiggly?" She asks, poking the pudding abomination with a wooden spoon. It bounces off so animatedly it looks unreal. "What the fuck. Wait, why does this one have eyes?"
"Why are you asking me?! Is that even a pudding?! You gave birth to that thing !!"
"What do you mean gave birth?! This—!"
"IT'S LOOKING AT ME! KOHAKU YOUR CHILD IS GONNA EAT ME! AAAAGHH!!"
Whether it was out of adrenaline, or perhaps he was just born for squishing pudding abominations with a shoe (and not for solving calculus problems,) he has no idea. But what's done is done. The blood of Kohaku's pudding child will never be washed away from his hand, but the day is saved.
"WHY DID YOU KILL IT?!" Kohaku asks in a mix of rage and confusion.
"Well what did you want me to do?!"
"I don't know– salvage it?! This was your idea! You said I should give it to Amaryllis and..."
"You still planned to give it to her?!" She does say many weird things but this one is beyond unbelievable. What in the moving pudding hell.
"It looked cool!"
"You're insane!!"
"Woah why does this look like a murder scene." By some miracle, Amaryllis is standing by the door, clearly looking amused.
"Amaryllis-cha~n! Save me!" He cries out, "Your girlfriend gave birth to a monster and then.."
"Woah, calm down, you're exaggerating too much."
"Yeah. We were just making some pudding." Kohaku shrugs as if she didn't witness a murder a few minutes ago.
"Oh that sounds like fun! Can I help?" Help on what, exactly? Making another one of those ? He doesn't want to know.
"Um- uh- sure. I just- I just need to clean the kitchen quickly!" Why is she turning timid over this, Ginro is so done.
"Just don't ask me to help in killing if you end up making another one of those." Ginro heads up stairs, not wanting to be part of any of this anymore.
"Should we save some for you?" Amaryllis, innocent to the horrors of the pudding world, ask.
"Nope. I'm lactose intolerant or something. Bye."
He heads to his room, and hears her laugh at him like he's a kid making excuses. Which is funny, because if he remembers correctly, she's a first year student? Wait, then that means she will have no way of understanding second year calculus… wow Ginro is going to die.
---
"Do you know Kohaku's favorite food or something?" Amaryllis asks him one afternoon.
Of course his automatic response has got to be "Please, no more, have mercy on me."
"Huh?" Amaryllis laughs in confusion, "You're so weird sometimes."
---
Next week, Ginro fails his math exam with all the horror he never imagined to ever face in his life. "We just have to try harder next time!" Sai-sensei gives him a pat on the back, as if putting a curse upon him, he says: "that means you get tutoring after classes. Good luck!"
And that was it. He was officially and undeniably in hell. One week of studying like crazy had already given him multiple headaches, and he has to study even more after that?! Why is this a bad end fic.
"You failed?" Kohaku asks, but he feels like she's just indirectly flexing on him with her 2 marks above the passing score.
"Aw that sucks." Amaryllis isn't even hiding her amusement. (To be fair, he forced her to teach him, so he can't fully blame her. But still..)
"This was all because I was trying so hard to get you two to finally be together!" He cries. And maybe he lies too.
Kohaku tilts her head to the side in confusion, "Didn't we already tell you we're dating?"
"What?!"
"Yeah. Uh. Surprise!"