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Hannah was going crazy. She was sure of it. After all, what other explanation could she give to these strange feelings?
But she knew very well that just denying it wouldn't solve anything.
She spent long months trying to ignore the strange urge to stare into those crimson eyes every time that girl walked into the room, to keep from smiling every time she smiled. And even ignoring the need to be close enough to smell the last traces of the sweet perfume the girl wore now and then. Hannah was drawn to the presence of that woman, whose energy was such that it clouded her senses. She was like a star, with a tremendous gravitational pull that Hannah was unable to resist.
It was almost impossible to believe, but she, Hannah England, was feeling things for Atsuko Kagari.
It's crazy, isn't it?
But it happened. And Hannah couldn't take any more trying to run away from it. She'd fallen in love with the clumsiest, weirdest, most mannerless girl in the universe. And to make matters worse, Akko still slept in magic classes! How could a witch from a prestigious family, an aristocrat like her, be even interested in someone like Akko?!
Unacceptable!
Hannah knew that getting close to the witches on the Red and Green Teams had been a bad idea.
A lie.
That group made her feel so good… Hannah noticed how much Barbara and Diana seemed happier since they started to hang out together. And although she was very stubborn, Hannah admitted that the same was also true to her. It was hard to get used to the new routine, but being surrounded by friends as enthusiastic as Akko, Amanda, and the others, made her laugh a lot more than before. Hannah’s life had been turned upside down since then, but that wasn't entirely bad.
And it was all Atsuko Kagari's fault, of course. Well, at least part of it.
That was why Hannah had decided that she would settle this whole mess with Akko once, and for all. A date. It was all she needed to convince herself that what she felt for Akko was definitely platonic, or at best a silly crush, plain curiosity.
Dear Beatrix, let it be anything but romantic love.
That's how Hannah ended up in the bathroom of a cafe in Blytonbury, staring at her reflection in the mirror and trying to deal with her nervousness. Her anxiety was so bad she couldn't stop fiddling with the yellow ribbon, which held her hair in a high, elegant ponytail. And exasperated, she tried to smooth the invisible creases in her pleated skirt for the umpteenth time. It wasn't even an exaggeration to say that Hannah couldn't remember the last time she was so nervous… and why?
Why was she so nervous? It was just Akko. Just… Akko.
That was the problem!
It was just Akko!
And Akko was so brilliant without even making an effort. How could someone like that exist?
Before she knew it, Hannah was blushing. She stamped her feet and buried her face in her hands in an exasperated sigh. She was a mess, all over the place, and the reason for her current state wouldn’t dare to imagine it. Completely absorbed in her own thoughts, Hannah jumped when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.
“Oh, by The Nines, Hannah! You look like a nervous wreck. What happened?" Barbara gasped, squeezing her friend’s cheeks between her hands, a note of concern in her voice
“Indeed, you haven't looked like yourself since last night… What is it that got you so altered?” Diana also showed up, piercing Hannah with warm blue eyes
The auburn-haired witch shivered upon realizing she had been discovered by her two roommates. They had caught her red-handed, what was the point of lying now?
“I… I think I'm having feelings for someone…” Hannah's voice came out so low and shy that the pair of friends almost didn't hear
“Oh… do you mean… you're in love with someone?” Barbara quickly perked up at the idea
"No! At least I hope not-" Hannah retorted in exasperation, but her reaction was interrupted by Diana
"Is that someone, perhaps, Miss Kagari?” Diana's voice came out as blunt as the question she asked, but her smirk and arched brow suggested she was having way too much fun at poor Hannah's spent
Hannah almost choked, blushing furiously at the mere mention of that name. The witch who had her sighing in the corners, the reason for her state of deep anxiousness half a minute ago.
"Yeah, it's definitely Akko. It's taking you too long to answer" Barbara covered her mouth stifling laughter, bringing Hannah back to reality
"O-of course not!"
"Oh Han, there's no need to pretend. It's written all over your face."
"Wait. Seriously?! Is it that obvious? Diana, please say she's joking!" Hannah panicked, grabbing Diana's shoulders, her eyes wide open
"I fear she is quite right. You are not very… discreet. All bashful and giggly when Akko is around, staring intently at her during class…"
"Oooh yeah, all that looking in class was a total giveaway. I was afraid you would've ended up poking a hole in Akko's back any time."
Hannah could hardly believe what was happening. If it was that obvious, that would be scandalous…
What if Akko had noticed?
That was it. That was the end of Hannah England. If she wasn't dead yet, she would die soon, such was her shame. Stuttering she dared to question with a shaky voice
"Do you think everyone noticed…?"
"Hmmm, yes, probably. Everyone but Akko, that is." Barbara replied without masking the sarcasm in her voice
Hannah's relief was instantaneous, releasing a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding, in a sigh that came out louder than planned. The bathroom fell silent as the three girls looked at each other before bursting into laughter. The laughter waned until it almost stopped, and then Hannah decided to say
“You're right about everything, to be honest. The person I think I'm feeling things for is Akko, and I'm really freaking out, I must look like pure chaos right now…” Her tone had an embarrassed, disappointed air, she looked down, staring at her feet, a little awkwardly.
Maybe it was time to admit defeat and give up on that plan.
Maybe it would be better to keep ignoring that nagging feeling, and just make an effort to get over her crush on Atsuko Kagari.
Maybe it was better to leave things as they were, it wasn't worth upsetting the balance of their whole group of friends just for her silly egoistic whim.
However, just as Hannah was about to voice her thoughts, Barbara's excited voice interrupted her
"Today is Valentine's Day, you should ask her out!"
“Barbara is right, it's the perfect occasion. We are free to roam around town all day, and in case you find it to be platonic, it won't be strange, after all, Valentine's Day isn't just for couples.” Diana added to boost confidence in Barbara’s argument
“That's the problem! That's exactly what I've been trying to do since we got here in Blytonbury, but I can't find the moment!” Hannah rubbed her hands over her face in frustration
“Oh Hannah, don't be like that. Come here” Barbara pulled her friend into a hug “You got this, I know it.”
Diana also approached, putting a hand on Hannah's shoulder, trying to cheer her up, “I'm sure you can do it. Gather all that confidence and bravery you have inside, and we'll make sure you have enough alone time to ask her out with peace of mind.”
“You are the best friends in the whole world!” Hannah exclaimed, trapping Diana into the hug, surprising the two friends who just returned the gesture with a laugh.
So the day went by, with Diana and Barbara going out of their way to make room for Hannah to act up, while she couldn't muster the courage to try.
Hours passed. And passed. And passed… Until the afternoon was dying out, the lamps in the streets of the small town were lighting up, the sun setting on the horizon. Suddenly the weather got cooler, some of the merchants were already getting ready to close up their stores, and the Luna Nova girls were starting to say goodbye to Blytonbury. On the way back Hannah didn't say a word, not even a half-smile. Instead, she kept her eyes downcast, too busy with her own thoughts to notice the confused, concerned looks she received from her friends.
Hannah cursed inwardly, condemning her cowardice, replaying in her head all the “perfect” moments she'd missed that afternoon. In the end, she concluded that she was just asking for too much. Whatever existed between her and Akko, whatever those weird, mismatched feelings were, would have to be left only in her imagination. She'd better let that curiosity fade, get her head straight.
Hannah had been lucky enough to make the unlikely friendship with Akko blossom, but that was as far as it would go. Luck is luck, miracles are miracles. They didn't belong in the same universe, they were incompatible. Anything beyond friendship was… impossible. And it was better that way. Hannah England's prestige with Atsuko Kagari's turpitude should never mix. Never.
There was just one thing Hannah didn't understand. If she wanted this to be nothing so badly, why was she so upset?
She knew why. But would never admit it.
Her depressed mood loomed over her even after arriving in Luna Nova. She was quiet, distant, during dinner, during her bath, and all night, even after going to bed. Until 23:50 PM. Until she heard a knock on her dorm’s door. Unwillingly and cautiously, she went to answer it, wrapped in her robe and slippers, her hair loose and messy.
Many people do not believe in chance or fate. And Hannah was one of those people. That was, probably, why fate decided to play such a trick on her. Bouquet of flowers by hand, in a white dress shirt and red bow tie, to match the crimson eyes that sparkled in the dark of the hallway, there was Atsuko Kagari. Standing on Hannah's doorstep, with the most beautiful and sweetest smile that existed.
“It's not midnight yet, so… Happy Valentine's Day?” Akko didn't undo her smile for a second, even as her cheeks flushed and her voice sounded low and wobbly
"A-Akko?!"
Akko fidgeted with the flowers in her hands a bit, before finally handing it to the other witch.
Hannah watched everything with her mouth open in surprise, her heart racing with all the beauty of the woman in front of her. She stared with bright eyes at the bouquet of yellow geraniums, that suddenly scented the cool night. She took a moment before replying,
"Th-thanks Akko, they're… beautiful." Hannah had to suppress the urge to say “as beautiful as you”, those unspoken words catching in her throat
The silence of the entire building weighed on them for a moment, as if it was trying to swallow their hearts, so Akko took a deep breath and started the speech she had rehearsed
"Look Hannah, I know there are a million differences between us, and we haven't seen eye to eye from the start. But still... still we got close to each other and I... I-I wanted to say that… I really like you. Very much so. And I've been meaning to tell you that all day but I couldn't muster up the courage…" as she spoke, crimson eyes stared at the floor intently, avoiding at all costs to look at the pair of browns right across her “I really like you Hannah England, and I would like to… to… Will you go out with me?! …It's totally okay if you don't want to! Or if you think this is weird, or… or if you don't like me back! O-or the flowers! You can throw them away if you did-”
Interrupted by Hannah's hands grabbing her by the collar of her shirt, Akko stopped. With a scared look plastered on her face, thinking she had ruined everything and irritated Hannah, she readied herself for a slap in the face, but it never came.
Hannah was completely flustered, feeling her heart pound harder than ever, and heat takes over the tips of her ears and cheeks. She could hardly believe the scene playing out before her eyes, the girl who had occupied her thoughts all day—and many days before that as well— the object of her inner turmoil, was right there. In the middle of the night, the last few minutes of Valentine's Day, asking her out. And apparently, declaring herself too?! The moonlight streaming through the window cast ethereal lighting over Akko's figure, causing her to glow, her white dress shirt gleaming. How could she be so beautiful?!
‘Damn, Hannah! She thinks it's not reciprocal. What are you going to do now?! Hurry up!’
But no matter how much she tried or wanted to, she was too dumbstruck to utter a word. So Hannah did what she'd wanted to do the most since opening the door, the only thing her clouded mind could think of.
Hannah England grabbed Atsuko Kagari by the collar of her shirt, forgetting about the bouquet in her hands. Interrupting Akko in the middle of her speech, pulled her close, looked deep into those red eyes, and kissed her.
Hannah England kissed Atsuko Kagari. She kissed with desire, to kill that urge that was killing her inside. Kissed her to stop all that nonsense and unnecessary excuses. Kissed to show that it was reciprocal, that she would love to go out with Akko. And kissed for the sake of kissing. Because she wanted to. Because no matter who they were, or how many worlds apart there were between them. What mattered was that she, Hannah England, was kissing Atsuko Kagari, and was enjoying it. And they had a date!
Akko returned the kiss right away — that is, after the shock wore off.
And just to confirm, to leave no room for doubt, Hannah remarked, with a smile that barely fit on her face,
“I loved the flowers. and I think… I like you too Atsuko, I like you a lot. Yes, this is weird, but… it's a good weird. I would love to go out with you. Are you free Sunday afternoon?”
"I am! I'm free Sunday afternoon! It's a great idea! Sunday afternoon then! It's a date!” Akko was smiling too, and sounded like a very exciting drunk, still suffering from the aftereffects of that unexpected kiss and the overdose of instant happiness.
"It's a date." Hannah couldn't stop thinking about how adorable Akko was happy like that. She couldn't stop her heart from fluttering “Now, you better get back to your room before someone catches you wandering the halls after curfew, you know.”
“Oh, yeah, forgot about that haha… I'll get going then. Good night Hannah.”
“Good night.” watching Akko turn to leave Hannah remembered one last thing, “Oh, and Akko…?”
Hearing the call Akko turned back to her
"Yes?"
“...You look gorgeous tonight!” Hannah blurted out in one breath, slamming the door shut immediately after.
In the hallway, Akko almost melted down with love, awestruck. She had to wait a few seconds and take a deep breath before going back to her bedroom.
Meanwhile, Hannah had run to her bed and buried her head in the pillow to muffle her cries of excitement — and embarrassment — stomping her feet frantically on the mattress.
Nobody knew how things would go down. Maybe after the first date, nothing would happen, or it could be an open door for many more dates to come as well.
Perhaps they'd find out it was love or realize it was just a silly crush.
Whatever it was, Hannah was willing to try, let it happen.
And luckily for her, it seemed that Atsuko thought so too.