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His lips upturned into a smirk as he lifted the hand that wasn't holding his zanpakuto above his head, conjuring a mask, before pulling it down so that it was covering part of his face. "I'm a soul reaper, who has transitioned the world of the hollows," he exclaimed, his smirk never fading as his teeth showed. "You, Y/N L/N, are one of us. A visored."
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" You replied, rolling your eyes as your own lips curled into your own smirk. "I don't have any intentions in running with a group, Hirako."
"Oh?" He questioned, moving closer to you as he spoke. "You prefer being alone in this world? A pretty face like yours?"
"Did I stutter?" You replied coolly, narrowing your y/e/c eyes upon the smirking man.
"Good morning, Ichigo!" You could hear the orange haired girl, Orihime, call out. "Oh! Y/N, hi!"
"Good morning, Ichigo!" Mirrored the toothy smirking blunt cut blond right afterwards. "Good morning, Y/N!" Before you knew it, the blond's arm was wrapped around your shoulder, the lithe man practically on top of you. Making the mistake of still being towards the back of the class, you had been a perfect target for him, to the point that you could smell the axe spray he had used upon his body. The warmth of his arms surrounded you, bursting right into your personal space. “You’re looking beautiful this morning!”
Fire could easily be read in your eyes as your y/e/c orbs shifted to the blond blunt cut male. Skin like fire upon your own, you attempted to be polite initially, the warning glare all your initial action had been. Receiving his toothy grin in return, you found yourself unable to calm, unable to stabilize the rage growing inside of you. After all, how dare someone touch you? How dare your legs feel weak underneath you? It took no wind up for you to punch the visored right into the wall, an annoyed huff escaping your lips.
“So beautiful and deadly!” Kiego swooned as you made your way to your seat.
Orihime, the kind girl that she was, could be heard saying, “Hirako, are you okay?”
“I think I may be in love,” he said in an amused tone, despite the pain in his bleeding nose.
The next time you had run into Shinji Hirako had been in an alleyway, as the two of you were walking back from the school. You simply walked past the man, ignoring his existence as you clutched the bag you carried for the school to your side. Y/e/c eyes refused to glance in the visored’s direction, until he had grabbed your arm.
“I’m not planning on giving up, Y/N,” he said, his toothy smirk clearly showing as his brown eyes met your own. “You’re one of us, and you’ll realize that you don’t belong with them.”
“I know I don’t belong with them,” you replied in a deadpanned tone, quickly grabbing your arm back as your y/e/c eyes narrowed upon the man. “And if you touch me again, I’m going to be scuering you.”
“Feisty,” you could hear a female voice from behind you. “I actually like this one.”
“She’s more difficult than Kurosaki,” Shinji replied with a huff.
Spinning around on your heels, you were met by what looked like a blond child, but her spiritual pressure definitely said otherwise. "Don't get me wrong," you said to her, a half smile against your features, "I just hate everyone."
"We could just kill you," the blonde girl replied with a blatant shrug, moving to grab her zanpakuto.
"You'd be doing me a favor," you said with a shrug, a smirk making its way to your face. You stood your ground, right in your spot as the girl moved to place a hollow mask on, crossing your arms over your chest as the smirk had not left your lips. The girl gazed at you with confusion, though she was ready to attack you. Dropping your geigai, you jumped off to the side for her first attack. "If you really want Kurosaki, though, you're not going to want to kill me."
"Hiyori!" Shinji exclaimed, moving to grab her and hold her down. "Didn't you just say you liked her?"
The two watched as you scooped up your geigai, flash stepping away from the alleyway, and away to who knew where. As you left, the last thing you could hear was the two arguing to themselves, and your lips fell to a grimace. You liked being alone, didn’t you?
Hollow mask against your face, you raise your zanpakto to your opponent. It had just been another hollow, another training exercise in the forest. With all the humans leaking spiritual pressure, you often had the opportunity to cut down a few hollows here and there. Though you had known you could get caught, turned in to the soul society, you were far past the point of caring about that. If anyone were close enough to tell, you would say you've lived far too long.
The disruption in spiritual pressure had been obvious as you cut down the last hollow, a sigh escaping your lips. Three, you thought to yourself. I can't take on three.
Spinning around, you were met with two familiar faces, and one new blood. Lips falling to a grimace, you shifted your glance between Shinji, to Hiyori, to the stranger. "You're sure multiplying," you commented absently, removing the mask from your face as you sheathed your zanpakto.
"There's more of us than this," Hiyori replied, "This dumbass was just supposed to recruit, and he keeps failing."
"Y'know, I don't get why you're out here killing hollows," Shinji said with a shrug, his lips curled into a smirk. "It seems a little too soul reaper of you."
"Hollows are the only things I can kill freely, and they don't talk back," you replied with a shrug. "Unless I'm not killing it, it can go fuck itself."
"We keep a barrier around our warehouse," the larger male that had joined them chimed in. "If you're worried about dealing with soul reapers, my kido keeps us safe."
"Two hundred years and I haven't had a soul reaper execute me yet," you replied with an apathetic shrug. "I'm sure you guys are great for each other. I just want no part in it."
"How long have you been a visored?" The young blonde asked with wide eyes.
You chuckled, the kind of hollow chuckle of someone who has experienced far too much. "Too long," you said, before you flash stepped away, your spiritual pressure hidden as soon as you got into your geigai.
"I don't understand why you're trying so hard," you spat acidly towards the blunt cut blonde with the toothy grin, once again having to quickly shrug out of his arms. Sending a fist to his face, you dusted yourself off, as if the simple touch had been dirt covered. "You're really looking to get my zanpakto up your ass."
The thing that confused you about his touch, confused you about the man with the toothy grin, was as much as any touch felt like acid against your skin, there was a hint of comfort. A little something from this man, maybe his persistent attitude, drew you to the visored you kept turning down. You wanted to actually want his touch, in a sense, but your nerve receptors threw you into a panic, each and every time.
"You said the next time you would, and yet I'm still alive," he teased, his grinning lips curled upwards in a smirk. "Y'know, maybe you're soft on me after all."
"You have friends," you replied with a shrug. "You should read the warnings and give up before they mourn you."
"I don't understand you," Shinji replied with a chuckle. "I'm offering you to be with your own kind, people who would actually care about you, and you keep turning it down." He moved to grab your hand, his smirk turning to a toothy grin as his brown eyes met your own. "We're telling you that you don't have to be alone anymore."
The way his hand felt upon your own was so...warm, but quickly turned to pins and needles, causing you to flinch away from him, your eyes widening for a moment. Recovering, you allowed a sigh to escape your lips as you said, "I've told you, I hate everyone. The humans grow and change, the soul reapers come and go, and just because you have the same ability, the same transcendence, you think I'll suddenly like you."
"Would you just...meet the others?" He asked finally, a hopeful look in his brown eyes.
Allowing an exasperated sigh to escape your lips, you furrowed your brows. "Refrain from touching me and I'll humor you," you replied in a deadpan tone, anxiety already rising in your chest from the thought. You were sure that it could be a trap, that they could just kill you, but you weren't scared of being killed.
Entering the hideout, you could feel the change in spiritual pressure immediately. The larger man, who you had learned later to be Hachi, took down the barrier long enough for you and Shinji to walk through, before placing it back up. As soon as you felt the change in spiritual pressure, you could feel all eyes upon you.
"Did you finally get her to join, idiot?" Hiyori questioned as the two of you walked in, as you made sure to stand a foot away from Shinji.
"Not quite," he said with awkwardness in his voice. "I convinced her to come meet you guys and decide for herself."
"I convinced him to stop touching me in exchange," you replied with a shrug, glancing through the familiar and unfamiliar faces. "Muguruma, Kuna, and Yadomaru. Shocked to see the three of you."
"Captain L/N?" Kensei said in shock, standing to his feet as he walked over to you. "This is who you're trying to recruit? She was Mashio's and my Captain." Pausing, he rose an eyebrow skeptically. "Head Captain said you were killed in action. How did you…"
Grimacing, you took a half step back as you said, "It was a cover up. They did try to have me killed, but clearly that didn't work."
"Y/N!" Mashiro practically squealed happily as she had been jumping up and down while holding onto Kensei's shoulder. "It's so good to see you're alive!"
"It is impressive you've been around all this time," Lisa chimed in, reading something as she spoke. "Kensei was promoted shortly after you disappeared."
"Does this convince you to join, beautiful?" Shinji asked, moving to wrap his arm around you again.
This time, his touch nearly felt nice, though your legs still weakened from it. The sensation forgotten, strange to you, you found yourself running from it once more. It nearly panged your heart, knowing the group had been trying so hard, but you knew you were damaged.
Shrugging quickly out of his arms, you glared daggers at the blunt cut blond. "We had an agreement," you hissed as you moved to wipe off your shoulders, still glaring at the blond visored. "And as glad as I am that you're all alive and well, there's no way. If you really feel like killing me, go for it, otherwise I planned on leaving town anyways."
"Dumbass, you're scaring her off," Hiyori spat as she launched at him, kicking him right in the face. “You just have to be a perv and ruin everything, don’t you?”
“I wasn’t being a perv!” Shinji countered with a toothy grimace. “I was sure she was convinced to join, and I was being y’know, friendly.”
“There’s something off about her,” Mashiro commented as she peered over Kensei once more. Her voice was hushed, though with you standing not far away from anyone, it was easy for you to hear. “Y/N actually used to be as touchy as Shinji, and would always use our first names.”
Once again, all eyes were on you, and you felt as if you were going to explode right in that spot. Shifting in discomfort, you took another step back, wondering if you should just break the kido barrier and flash step away from this place. Biting your lip, you could feel a shuddering chill reach up your spine.
“Now that you mention it, Mashiro is right for once,” Kensei said tentatively. “I can’t believe I’m even saying that.”
"Shinji, touch her again," Lisa said with a glint in her eyes. "I want to see something."
You found yourself backing up quickly, your hand to the hilt of your zanpakto. "I will not hesitate to cut off your hands, Hirako," you countered coolly. Anxiety filled your body as you grasped your zanpakto hilt, your breath nearly ragged as you backed up until the point that your back hit the wall behind you.
"You don't need to," Lisa said quickly, stopping Shinji from cornering you any further. "She's probably been isolated too long."
"What's isolation got to do with it?" Shinji questioned curiously, glancing over to you as you worked on calming yourself down.
"She's scared of being touched," Lisa said with a shrug. "I overheard Captain Ukitake talking to Captain Kyoraku about touch starvation once, one of those times my idiot Captain was trying to convince Ukitake to get a girlfriend."
"Unless you're letting me leave, could you stop talking like I'm not here?" You replied with a huff.
"She's been in the world of the living for two hundred years," Shinji said, his voice quiet as to not wake you. "And all that time, she's been alone. We can't let her leave."
"If she's here against her will, is that really going to help her?" Kensei chimed in, frowning as he glanced over to her.
"She's just going to get herself killed if she leaves," Hiyori chimed in, a grimace against her lips. "If this idiot would stop trying to touch her, maybe we would get somewhere."
"The soul needs affection," Lisa chimed in, moving closer to the couch as she reached a hand out, gently brushing her fingertips slowly up your arm. As she watched you flinch in your sleep, she frowned, backing away before trying again, gentler than the last. "She needs to work up to it, and work up to being close to others again."
"She used to be so much fun," Mashiro chimed in, leaning against Kensei as she sighed.
"Well, if she wakes up with everyone around, she's just gonna freak out and leave," Shinji said with an exasperated sigh. "Let me stay with her."
"You're just going to be a perv again, idiot!" Hiyori chided, throwing her sandal at him.
Sighing and throwing the sandal back, he shook his head. "Y'know, I want her to stay," he said softly, his brown eyes glancing down upon you. As Lisa moved her hand, he moved to slip his slender fingers down your arm to your fingertips, a toothy grimace against his face. "I think I may be in love."
"You say that to every pretty girl," Lisa chided. "You said it to me when we first met."
"This is diff'rnt," he said with a glare.
To avoid waking you, the others left, leaving Shinji in the room with you. His lips held a grimace as he stared down upon you, moving his fingertips gently against you for a while, seeing how you would react in your sleep. After a while, he moved to try to hold your hand, his touch incredibly gentle as he did so. With an initial flinch, he drew back, going back to what he was doing prior.
"How do we undo two hundred years of loneliness," he murmured to himself.
"Y/N, I'm so happy you're going to stay with us," Mashiro said vibrantly, jumping up and down as her lips formed a brilliant smile. She had been exuberant to say the least, and occasionally you could remember back then, back when all of you were close. "Kensei is, too, he's just too much of a grump to admit it."
You weren't even sure why it was you were staying with this group, or why you had not killed the blond male on the spot when you woke back up. Something deep inside of you, maybe your old self, yearned to stay. A much larger part of you knew that if you walked out of that kido barrier, they would not stop.
"It's strange," you admitted after a while of silence, "my old Lieutenant and third seat. I thought of you guys a lot in the beginning, but I never thought you'd wind up here." Pausing, you sighed softly, though your lips did not curl upwards at all. "I swore to protect you, and I broke my promise."
"Hey," Kensei chimed in, a frown atop his lips as he managed to get your attention. "You know we're just happy you're alive, and here with us." A chuckle escaped his lips as his eyes shifted to Mashiro before directing back to you. "Idiot here kept saying there was no way you were dead."
"Hey!" Mashiro whined in reply. "I was actually right about that, too!"
"I fought my way out of the soul society," you said with a shrug. "Rose my zanpakto against Captains I respected, went to academy with. It's probably better that you thought I was dead." Forcing a smile against your lips, you stared at your hands. "If it weren't for Captain Kyoraku, I would have been dead. He threw them off my trail long enough to escape."
"If we knew-," Kensei started, before you harshly cut them off.
"I would have ordered you to attack me," you said quickly. "It would have been irresponsible of me as your Captain to do anything else." Pausing, you sighed softly, clenching your fists as you glanced back up at the two. "I barely remember those days anymore, and I...apologize for that."
It didn't burn the same way it used to, but you could still feel your knees buckling under the toothy grinning male. From what it seemed, the visored got excited, as you had been kind to him for the first time since you had met him. His arm was tightly wrapped around your shoulder, your y/e/c eyes widened as you felt your heart racing.
It was a small compliment, one that just slipped out of your mouth when you were watching him sparring with Hiyori. The way that his sharp features stood out to you, you said it before even thinking about it. Through your internal panic, you could not help realizing the difference, the way you had wanted him to stay there.
Your words still slipped past your lips, a clearly higher pitch than you had intended, your own mind still not grasping your desire. "W-what are you doing?" You stuttered out. The way that your body nearly caved into his touch, though, had not gone undetected.
"I didn't-," he started, realizing what he had been doing as he quickly took your comfort away. What you had not known was that he had been the one helping you the most with your touch aversion. His cheeks reddened the slightest bit as he gave you some space, though his toothy grin fell to a grimace.
"I'm not going to kill you," you muttered softly, crossing your arms over your chest as you allowed a sigh to escape your lips. It was clear to you that you were growing an affection towards the blond visored, but your heart still held fear. The way your eyes shamefully dropped to the ground below you made it so that you had missed the way his brown eyes widened at your words, your reaction.
It had been about a week that Shinji had avoided touching you during your waking hours, keeping the concern in mind about scaring you away. The blond had been falling for you, quite genuinely, and the pained look that you would get on your face when he slipped his arm around you unintentionally still haunted his mind. So badly, he wished to hold you in his arms, taste your lips, but he knew he had been asking far too much.
You were the one to come up to him, the others busy with their own hobbies. Y/e/c eyes shifted to his brown eyed gaze, while you tentatively bit your lip. In a hushed voice, you stuttered out, "Can I try something?"
His brows furrowed in confusion, brown eyes attempting to read your expression. Even so, he could feel a flutter in his chest he had been feeling since he first met you. With a touch of awkwardness to his tone, he said, "Y'know, I'm not gonna stop you."
You sucked in a deep breath, moving your hand slowly to meet the man's cheek. Your fingertips connected with his skin so gently, so carefully. It took five minutes for you to move your palm to truly rest against his cheek, though his brown eyes widened as they stared into your own y/e/c gaze. The sensation had been so strange to you, and yet, so warm. Though blush covered your cheeks, you found your lips curling upwards.
At the point that you removed your hand, you could still feel the crimson against your cheeks. "It's silly," you said finally, "I want to be able to do more, but my body isn't used to it. I- uh, thank you, Shinji."
The visored grinned down at you, though his tone had been serious. "Take your time," he said softly. "Who knows? Maybe you'll fall for me, sweetheart."
Shinji's breath caught in his throat the moment that the two of you had been sitting upon the couch, and you moved to lie your head in his lap. It had been a small gesture, and the visored could not deny that he was falling for you. His brown gaze shifted down to you, heart racing in his chest as his lips curled upwards.
Y/e/c eyes shut in contentment, and no one dared disturb the two of you. For a while, you simply stayed silent, relishing in the feeling of human contact. After a while, you felt a gentle, slender hand, caressing your hair.
Sighing softly, you could feel your lips curl upwards at his action. You were unsure what drew you to take that extra step that day, but deep down, you realized you craved that affection. The way that his fingertips ghosted your cheek gently as he slipped his hand delicately over your hair could nearly cause you to blush. While a year ago, you would have skewered the male for doing something even outwardly affectionate, you realized the shift in your nerve receptors.
While he stroked your hair gently, he relished in the contented smile against your lips. The blunt cut blond had mused over his own feelings towards you for quite some time, the depth merely growing with time. Though he desperately wished to sweep you right off your feet, he respected you enough to be cautious.
"Shinji," you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper as your eyes opened, y/e/c gaze shifting upwards to see his expression. "What if...I actually have fallen for you?"
The toothy grin that slipped across his lips was all the answer you needed at the time, though he had broken the silence as his hand paused upon your cheek. "Y'know, I've been hoping for that," he murmured, a little louder than he meant to be. "Seeing as you're my only love."