Work Text:
Prisons are disgusting, that about sums up what Katsura thinks as he was led into one. It would not be friendly to his sanitary antics, nor would it allow him a decent sleep.
However, the irony of it all amuses him.
Finally, after multiple wasted attempts, Runaway Kotarou has been shackled.
But Katsura was not disheartened, no. If his capture meant his comrades and moronic friends' escape; then it was not in vain. Still, the fact remains that he has to devise a plan to attain his freedom as well. His men needed him, and Katsura refused to abandon them. But more than anything, they have a goal to accomplish.
And so when he was thrown into the dingy cell that was meant to keep him in, Katsura only smiled. It was a small cell block, with rusty bars encapsulating the entire room that reeks of a pungent smell. It was horrible, to say the least. But to Katsura, an old brittle set of metal bars ridden with rust meant an easy way out.
Katsura ignored how moldy the floors were, but took a mental note to wash his hands thoroughly once he gets out of this awful place. He pushed himself up and sat with his back against the wall. He watched as his captors silently left, not even throwing a single word of profanity against his way which Katsura found rather surprising.
He knew their enemy well, and even in death they would not stop to impress their dominance against a "lanky boy" as himself. Insult by insult, Katsura has heard them all. But these men gave him not a single heed, just took him in custody and threw him into a cellar.
A yawn suddenly escaped his mouth. Prior to his capture, he had to fight battle after battle. Not only the battles which being the general requires of him, but more so with Gintoki and Takasugi's squabbles, as well as Tatsuma's skylarking.
Needless to say, Katsura was exhausted. Not to mention injured and bleeding himself out.
Staging an escape would do him more harm than good at his current condition. He had to take some rest.
Closing his eyes, Katsura imagined the comfortable walls of Shouka Sonjuku. The warmth it incessantly radiated, the light it shone... Katsura missed it all.
He missed the time when wars were not their problem to venture. He longed for the moments where he could just be himself, Katsura Kotarou, and not some legendary war hero born from endless struggles.
It stung to be thinking of that school, much more of the man who made it their home. Katsura often wondered how he's faring; is he being tortured? Is he given food and water as often as he should? But more importantly, is he still even breathing?
It was with matters concerning Yoshida Shouyou that unrelenting anxiety arose. But it was also with him, and the hope of seeing him again, do they seek comfort, or a refuge from the deafening cries of war.
Katsura was about to reach the slight reprieve he was seeking, reliving sensei's words in his head, when a slight shuffle was heard across from where he sat. His eyes shot open at such a sound, surprised to know that he was not alone.
He had been in this cell for half an hour or so, one that went unnoticed due to his musings. Katsura Kotarou wasn't one to be sneaked up on. He would have known if there was another human being inside with him; their breath alone would have given them away. But it seemed to him that his senses were not as attuned as he expected. Because there was definitely someone inside with him. And whoever it was, they started moving.
He could see a foot that had moved under the ray of moonlight from the small barred window, but the rest of them was covered by the dark blankets of the night. Normally, it would have alerted Katsura. But he had no sword to pull, nor a place to hide. He was completely defenseless if he ever needed to be otherwise.
And so he resorted to one thing: talking. He may not be as good at negotiating as Tatsuma, but he would have to try.
"I didn't see you there." Katsura remarked. "What have you been charged with?"
The stranger did not even bulge. They just sat still, probably looking at him or probably giving him no heed. Katsura couldn't tell, because the stranger refused to let their face be known.
Fazed by the stranger's disregard of him, Katsura awkwardly coughed as he tried to look at anything but the darkened corner. He didn't want to be rude. Maybe the stranger simply did not want to talk to him, or was asleep to begin with.
But then, he heard motion from the stranger once again as their feet retreated in the dark, all indication that he had company vanished into thin air.
Suddenly, he remembered Gintoki and the stories of restless souls which kept his friend trembling during bedtime.
Was that a ghost?
Was it a monster?
Katsura wasn't one to believe in supernatural saysos like Gintoki. But somehow, it made sense: their nonpresence, the sudden appearance and disappearance, or the lack of response.
Was Gintoki right all along?
Suddenly, he forgot about his injuries as he stared in horror at the corner. His eyes were wide open, staring at the darkness as if a monster would leap out of it any moment. It was probably why his captors were silent when they brought him in.
The foot he had seen earlier reappeared before the moonlight, this time accompanied by the other pair. Whoever or whatever it was, it appears to be standing. Katsura began to sweat in fear, his insides in utter chaos as he started to panic. He can't believe this, he just can't . This is beyond all reasons, it can't be .
But then, the feet moved forward, and now he could see a light colored kimono.
Katsura sprang up to his feet, his physical pain completely forgotten as he pushed himself against the bars; trying to pick the lock with a pin he hid by sticking his trembling hand outside. The stranger moved another step, almost all of their kimono basking under the moonlight. But the head remained hidden in the dark.
"I..." A male voice spoke, more of a whisper as it was barely audible. It was then that Katsura halted, turning begrudgingly towards the stranger.
"I have committed too many crimes that would warrant me an eternal imprisonment." The voice spoke quietly, but finally answering his question.
Okay, that does it.
Katsura screamed, pushing himself against the bars once again, as he unsuccessfully tried to pick the lock. "HEEEELP!!" Katsura yelled, his arms flailing as far as it could due to the hindrance of the prison bars. "Help me!!!"
He could feel the stranger getting nearer to him, so Katsura only panicked more, praying to God he be given a chance to apologize to Gintoki for all his indifference to his friend regarding this matter. "Damn, that bastard Gintoki, I should've believed hi... nyAAAAHH!!!" He screeched, for a hand landed right on his shoulder.
The hand felt very real, and for a second he thought he was mistaken afterall. But he had heard enough stories that told otherwise; stories of discarded souls or demons taking the form of humans. So, even as he stilled, he trembled against the metal bars.
"What about you, my little samurai?"
It was then that Katsura froze. The voice, now clearer and louder than before, was enough to pump his heart into a mad rampage that made his prior panic dull by comparison.
He knew that voice even with his back turned. He knew that voice even amidst millions . It was the voice which he followed, establishing the path he must and will take.
It was the voice the three of them had yearned to hear a scolding from for so long.
Katsura willed himself to turn, begging the heavens that this was no cruel joke. That this was not a ploy of the enemy to break him. For many years, he tried his best to be strong, especially knowing that he had no choice but to be one. But if the person behind him is who he thinks he is…
Then maybe, Katsura could finally allow himself to break.
So with every ounce of strength he could muster, he turned around. And in turn, he was greeted by a smile that had suddenly lit the entire cell in his eyes.
Sensei had not changed a bit.
Even years of imprisonment were not enough to taint or even dampen his smile.
There he was, standing a step away from Katsura. He was smiling like the way he always did, as if they were only separated by one good night of rest instead of excruciatingly long years. Only his eyes betrayed him, because Katsura could see tears prickling at every corner.
Sensei's hand retreated from his shoulder, and Katsura almost flinched when it did. But then, sensei placed it atop his head, his eyes shunning close as he gave Katsura a wider smile.
"My, my! You've grown quite a lot, Kotarou." Sensei remarked gleefully, ruffling the top of his head as if they were not in a gloomy, dirty prison.
But you haven't , Katsura wanted to reply. Because Shouyou looked as young as when Katsura last saw him. Sensei hadn't literally changed a bit. His then deemed prodigious mind was urging him to ask, but his heart refused to. Because suddenly, nothing mattered anymore.
Shouyou-sensei was alive .
And that was all that mattered to Katsura.
"S-Sensei..." Katsura breathed, his eyes bulging in utter disbelief. "Y-You're....You're alive."
At that, Shouyou's fond gaze met that of his own. Reaching for Katsura's nape with one hand, Shouyou smiled as he answered, "I am now ."
Without another word, Shouyou gently gathered Katsura in his arms, rendering the young samurai frozen.
Warmth has long eluded him or his friends, for it is often found in peaceful times; not in a field of violence and death, and most especially not in a war-torn, albeit young, soldier as himself.
Shouyou-sensei's arms reminded Katsura of that warmth. But only when he reluctantly returned the embrace did Katsura truly feel it.
Katsura's eyes stung, as if thousands of liters of unshed tears were threatening to escape his hold. Because finally, the one thing that they had always been dying to reach is finally standing right before his eyes.
Shouyou chuckled, releasing Katsura from his arms but held onto the younger man's shoulders. "You've really grown into a fine, young man, haven't you?" Shouyou exclaimed, beaming at Katsura as he inspected his student. "And yet you scream at the prospect of ghouls just as Gintoki did when he was young! Don't tell me you've finally allowed him to influence you?"
Katsura scratched his head shyly, blushing as he remembered his slight display of panic and disarray. "Y-You just startled me, sensei. In fact, I'm beginning to think I'm delirious." Katsura confessed, remembering the slight concussion he got on the battlefield. Truthfully, it prompted him to think it was probably why he is seeing Shouyou-sensei now. Katsura seriously hoped that wasn't the case.
"As do I." Shouyou admitted. "You are not supposed to be here. Even when any of you come after me, I was certain they'd put you somewhere else beyond my sight. I never thought they'd let y...-"
Shouyou's steady smile suddenly fell as his eyes darted down to Katsura's bloodstained clothes. Katsura swore he saw something dark that passed through sensei's eyes. But whatever it was, Shouyou did not say a word. Instead, he sighed, inspecting the open, bleeding wound right across Katsura's arm. Katsura flinched in shame at his lousy first aid bandaging.
"I see you're still the same. You're best at taking care of everyone but yourself." Sensei remarked, sighing in exasperation before regaining his composure.
"I-I just forgot how it's properly done."
Shouyou hummed, visibly unconvinced by Katsura's lie. Though Katsura expected nothing else, especially when the man had been the one to teach him how to do so.
"I'm afraid I do not have any means to treat you. But at least let me do what I can to stop it from bleeding. Not to mention this prison cell is filthy enough to cause you infection." Shouyou continued.
Shouyou assisted Katsura back to the floor. Kneeling beside his student, Shouyou worked in silence as he did his best with a piece of the only considerably clean cloth with them inside the cell that was taken from the upper portion of Katsura's own haori.
"The one who inflicted this wound on you intended to kill you. Do you know that?" Shouyou as he worked, his brows contorted into a frown as he tended to the angry gash across Katsura's arm.
Katsura remained quiet, but knew all too well that it was true. He was just quick to dodge before it hit him fatally.
"Well, after what you've done; it is no surprise that the Bakufu wanted your head."
Katsura's gaze flew towards his teacher, his mouth gaping as his mind failed to supply an answer. "Y-You… You know?"
"Fear is the best prison guard, my little samurai," was Shouyou's short response, meeting Katsura's gaze with a small smile before retreating back to his work. "My captors made sure I knew what you three set out to do. I suppose they thought it was the best way to keep me in tow."
"I-I.. I'm sorry we went against your wishes."
"It may have been what I have dreaded to take place, but it remains to be the path you chose, Kotarou. You mustn't apologize for it."
Guilt coursed through his blood at Shouyou's words. While it may have been true that he did consider the possibility of their choices to shackle Sensei even more, their will to get him back took over all sense of logic and reason.
Silence dawned once again as Shouyou began to patch Katsura's wound. On the other hand, the younger samurai watched his sensei work as if in a bleary daze.
Sensei's hand felt real, sensei looked real .
The longer Katsura watched him, the more he was convinced that the man before him gently tending to his injuries was not an apparition of their teacher, but Shouyou-sensei himself.
If only Gintoki and Takasugi were here....
Being reminded of his friends, Katsura summoned every bit of courage he had in his body. With determined eyes, he turned towards Shouyou to jumpstart the plan that will lead to their escape.
Afterall, he wasn't the only one waiting for Shouyou-sensei's return. He must bring their sensei back to his obnoxious brothers as well.
"Sensei, with you and I working together, we should be able to stage an escape from this rotting prison." Katsura coaxed, taking back his arm. "I'm sure Gintoki and Takasugi would be thrilled to see you again."
But Shouyou only held Katsura's gaze, an unreadable expression all over his face. Sensei stared at Katsura as if he just proposed the most ridiculous idea ever. And unnerving as it may be, Katsura did not let it faze him. Nothing could anymore. Not when the goal they have aimed for is this close to achieve.
He was about to disclose the plan he devised in his solace at Shouyou's lack of response. But before he could utter another word, Shouyou finally spoke.
"No, not now. Aside from the fact that you still have to recuperate, you must also consider those that guard these walls. At your current state, you cannot fight them all and expect to leave unscathed. Nor could you take a run for it." Shouyou chided. "Time is of the essence. But you have to wait a few hours before dawn, right when the guards are fatigued and near slumber. Only then could you escape without inviting anymore injuries to yourself."
Katsura frowned, immediately catching up to Shouyou's implication. "Sensei, what.... don't tell me...." He stopped, the very thought was agonizing in and of itself. "Are you not coming with me?"
Shouyou forced a smile and ruffled Katsura's hair. "I'm afraid our time together has long come to an end, my little samurai."
What?
No.
That's not true.
That can't be true.
"B-But... Sensei... What are you talking about?" Katsura asked desperately, the response he was waiting for had shaken him to his core to the point that it reflected onto his voice. "I'm here, I will get you out of this!"
"Kotarou, I have put you in enough danger as it is. I simply refuse to add more to it." Shouyoy replied. "You were lucky enough to be left alone the moment they took me. You kids could have been killed that night for solely being under my care. What do you think they would do to you now that you dared to challenge their power? Now that you pose a real threat to them?"
Words failed Katsura even though he knew the answer to the question. He wanted to shout he didn't mind, they could kill him if they like. There's no way he would be leaving here without Shouyou. But his throat constricted, restricting him from saying anything in response.
This can't be happening….
As if reading his thoughts, Shouyou's hand dropped from his head and down to his shoulder as he spoke once again. "You must leave, and you must do it quickly. I will buy you enough time as you need, but as much as possible, please refrain from any confrontation. You're already beat up as it is."
"No!" Katsura exclaimed. "I am not leaving here alone. With or without you, we are always going to be chased. It is already the path we chose. So if we have to run our whole lives, we would gladly do so if it meant we could stay by your side!"
"That path can change, I believe it still can." Shouyou countered. "But not with me by your side."
"Sensei, we aren't kids anymore! We made this choice on our own!" Was Katsura's indignant reply. "Come home with me to Gintoki and Takasugi. We can protect you now!"
"Kotarou, I do not doubt you. I knew even then that you three are going to amount to something wonderful. But you are dealing with forces far beyond your understanding—"
"Then, make me understand." Kotarou interjected in utter desperation.
"It is not your burden to bear, nor will I willingly place any more than I already have on your backs." Shouyou firmly replied.
"But—"
It was too fast. Katsura only saw Shouyou raising his fist and the next thing he knew he had a small, aching bump at the top of his head just enough to silence him without further aggravating his pre-existing injuries.
Surprised, all that he had to say seemingly left his mouth as he stared at sensei's smiling face once again.
"Ow." Katsura groaned, casting a betrayed glance at Shouyou-sensei.
"Yes, that does it." Katsura heard their sensei mutter to himself, as he silently unclenched his fist with that particular smile again.
"Sensei, do you plan to give me another concussion?" Katsura mumbled.
"You've grown far too stubborn." Was Shouyou's cheery response.
"I'm injured." Katsura stressed, beckoning his bleeding arm for Shouyou to see.
"Needed to knock some sense into you."
"It hurts."
"Pain will pass, my little samurai."
Pouting, Katsura gingerly caressed the bump on his head. And while it did hurt, Katsura could not deny how close to home it brought him.
Shouyou snickered to himself, "I see that little trick still works."
Katsura scoffed, a small smile was on his lips but not a trace of warmth remained. Heaving a deep breath, he thought of his options and realized that there was none other. The three of them were known for their unyielding resolve, but theirs was nothing compared to Shouyou. Katsura knew that whatever sensei was hiding from him would remain a secret as long as Shouyou was convinced it could secure their safety.
"I-If it does… if we could stop… " He stammered, struggling to seek the right words to say but found none. So Katsura sighed, propping his chin against his folded arms which rested on his knees. "Well, as you see, we can't , sensei."
"If we could, then I wouldn't be here now." Katsura whispered, averting his gaze to the empty cell opposite them. Deep down, he understood what Shouyou was trying to do. After all, it was the same fuel that enables him and his friends to lead the underhanded side of the war.
If he was in sensei's position, he would do the same. But somehow, even so, Katsura found it difficult to swallow.
Probably because he doesn't understand the need to choose. Eitherway, their fate is sealed. They've already left their mark in history. Normalcy was no longer theirs to grasp anyway. Katsura wasn't foolish enough to believe otherwise. So why can't they protect each other together?
Does every choice have to involve a sacrifice?
This world already took everything from him. His parents, his grandmother, and then sensei. And now that he got back at least one of them, he still has to let him go.
It just isn't fair.
"Kotarou," Shouyou called, placing a hand once again on Katsura's shoulder. "forgive me for putting you in such a predicament. But above anything else I want to protect you the best way I know how. And I cannot do that if I am to remain by your side, regardless of how much it pains me."
"But… we want to protect you, too."
Katsura avoided sensei's gaze, and unconsciously began to wrap his arms around his knees. He cursed himself for showing as much, because even when his sight beheld nothing but the moldy floor; he knew how broken sensei was at how pathetic he looked.
But suddenly, Katsura heard sensei chuckling. Swiftly, his confusion prompted the young samurai to turn his head to gaze upon his teacher. It was soft, and nothing on his expression indicated amusement or whatever the hell else it could be. Rather, it was of fondness, of a memory slowly unfolding itself again for them to revisit. And as he spoke, Katsura's suspicion was confirmed.
"When you were little, I marvelled at how you treated everyone around you. You were gentle, kind, incessantly caring, immensely imaginative and creative might I add?" Shouyou turned to him with a knowing smile, evidently referring to all the times he would descend into an onslaught of stories he could make out of anything.
Katsura slightly chuckled, being reminded of all the times sensei walked through all his musings with him, never once faltering in interest or enthusiasm.
"But amidst those trails you were also a boy with strong conviction and determination. You used to say the other adults only saw your mind, but it wasn't difficult to see that you weren't just a prodigy; you were also a leader. You've always had a gift capable of touching and moving the minds and souls of the people around you, even when you were just a little boy.." Sensei spoke, smiling foolishly at the big round moon that sheds what little light they have in the cell. "But more so, I adore how big your heart is, and how courageous it is to let more in after losing so many."
Katsura watched as sensei darted his gaze to him once again, his smile oozing of undying affection and pride. "You have always been brave, my little samurai. And you have shared that courage with me." Sensei said, placing his palm atop his chest. "So with the same courage that you have given me, I ask you now to flee. Leave everything behind, start a new life that is yours alone."
"I see so much in your future, Kotarou. You, Gintoki, and Shinsuke. I simply want you to have that, and not waste your precious lives on me, or on a pointless battlefield." Katsura's frown deepened, his expression etched with pain as he shook his head aimlessly at Shouyou-sensei's words. At Katsura's expression, Shouyou-sensei heaved a sigh. With apologetic eyes, he turned once more to his student and spoke, "Please, Kotarou."
"I'm tired of being brave, sensei." Katsura mumbled before he could stop himself, fixing his gaze to the evidently unsanitized ceiling. "I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of enduring, I'm tired of fighting. I just want to go home ."
Katsura forced his eyes closed, refusing what his words brought onto Shouyou. But both his eyes stung, and his lips trembled in years worth of suppressed jumble of grief, exhaustion, longing, helplessness, and desperation. He gritted his teeth in a futile attempt to steady it.
Why?
Why now?
Of all the time he could lose his cool, why now when sensei is sitting right next to him? Why now when he should be the one to be of stronger conviction? Why would his resolve waver now, when the aim of their struggling is finally attainable?
His walls are crumbling down around him, and Katsura still was trying to hold it in to no avail. He knew the answer to why, but still… Damn it all!
"Kotarou." Katsura heard sensei call again. A second or so he felt a hand atop his head, gently ruffling his hair. "I'm here."
"Until when?"
And at that, all the tears he had kept from losing Shouyou, and the frustrations and anger he felt for the war, came bursting down his cheeks.
Katsura felt sensei's arm around him in an instant, then a calloused hand cradling his head. Sensei pulled Katsura closer, just as he always had when they were young.
For a minute, Katsura remained motionless against Shouyou. Tears clouded his vision even as he conscientiously accepted only the darkness of his surroundings and nothing else.
The general must be the greatest coward on the battlefield.
So, Kotarou, feel free to cry.
You can cry.
You can be weak.
Shutting his eyes close, Katsura allowed his pain to flow through his veins, just as his tears broke out of his hold. He gritted his teeth in an attempt to subdue his trembling, his sobs growing more audible as time passed by.
He hadn't cried as much since he was a child, and to finally be able to has slightly alleviated the pain rooted from the heavy burden he carries.
But he also knew what it meant.
His tears meant grief, and his grief meant acceptance. Even when his heart rebelled against it.
Whatever cruelty laid to them by the stupid manga author, Katsura was yielding to it.
Was he conceding?
Was he giving up?
Why was he, Shouka Sonjuku's most hard-headed idiot, conforming to their teacher's wish? A wish that contradicts their own?
Silence once dawned on the cell which held them in. However repulsive it was, Katsura cherished the place. He didn't want to leave, even though he knew that he must.
"Can I trust you to look after yourself for me?" Shouyou suddenly asked in a hushed tone. Katsura pushed himself up and was met by a small smile on sensei's lips.
Katsura frowned in almost a childish indignance despite his tearstained cheeks, which only made their teacher titter in amusement despite the gloom in his eyes.
"Yes, yes, I know you are no longer a child." Shouyou dismissed Katsura's forthcoming retort. "However, I know you well enough to believe that you will move forward. Nor do I need to ask you to look after Gintoki and Shinsuke. This, however, I believe I must impose." Shouyou ended with a smile.
"That's rather an unfair observation, sensei."
"Is it?" Shouyou challenged. "Remember when you came home coated in mud because you took Gintoki and Shinsuke's fall? Or that one time when we were playing UNO and you purposefully took every plus cards because you wanted Gintoki to win just because he was sick? Or when—?"
"Sensei!" Katsura frantically exclaimed in an attempt to stop an unnecessary revisiting of their childhood exploits. "Okay, okay, I get it."
Shouyou immediately stopped, chuckling at the immensely flushed cheeks of his students.
"So? Will you promise me, Kotarou?"
Katsura watched as Shouyou-sensei extended his pinky finger towards him, one that sensei learned from the three of them and has seemingly kept it firmly in his mind.
And now that they were about to seal their reunion with a pact, Katsura made sure to etch every detail to memory.
The dimly lit cell…
Sensei's smile…
A call for a promise…
How cruel it is to be ripped away from the home you have just returned to, Katsura thought. However, even with trembling hands and a crestfallen smile, Katsura entwined his pinky finger with that of sensei's.
"I promise."
Shouyou-sensei beamed.