Chapter Text
Severus was late.
Not by his choice, mind you: Severus hated being late. But he and his mother had spent the morning in Diagon Alley for some last minute shopping. It had taken half an hour to get back to Cokeworth; twenty-five minutes to quietly change and finish packing without waking Tobias from his mid-morning snooze on the settee, and an hour more to get back to London, this time for King’s Cross.
The clack-clack of Eileen’s shoes against the station’s tiled floors rang in his ears with each step like a ticking clock as they wove their way through the station less than ten minutes before the Hogwarts Express was set to depart. Severus’s knuckles were white as he gripped the handle of his trolley, hoping with everything he had that they’d manage to find the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10 before the train left.
Hopeful and optimistic were far from the first two words that most would think of to describe the sullen, bitter boy from the house on Spinner’s End, but today he’d decided to make an exception.
Albeit only because Severus wasn’t sure he could stomach the alternative - if the Hogwarts Express left without him.
Just the thought that he might have to return to the draughty, near-windowless house on Spinner’s End turned the pit in his stomach into something that more closely resembled a chasm.
His breath hitched in his throat, and for half a second, he was terrified to open his eyes as the wheels of his trolley jostled over the lip between the concrete and the stone tiles on the other side.
“C’mon, then,” Mum called, her voice both soft and urgent. “Best get you on the train before you miss it.”
Rubbing the stinging from his dark eyes with a clammy palm, Severus pushed his trolley across the platform and towards the scarlet and black steam engine that still awaited him there.
As they unloaded his trunk, which had once been his mum’s and had been hidden away in the attic for at least twenty years, as the cracks in the leather and deposits of dust along the seams could certainly attest, a loud whistle rang out through the station.
“Last call for the Hogwarts Express,” the Engineer announced. “All aboard, last call!”
Stepping onto the first rung of metal steps of the train, he turned back to face the peaky witch who had taken such risks to deliver him to King’s Cross in spite of his father’s objections.
“Don’t worry,” Eileen said, before he could open his mouth. “He’ll come around.”
As she cupped his face in her calloused, bony hands, he was especially aware of the gold band around her finger, which somehow felt simultaneously icy cold and burning hot against his cheek as she gave him a kiss on the forehead.
With a closed-lip smile that did not reach her dark eyes, which seemed darker still with the fading hints of green and blue tinting the purple bags under her left eye - a memory of the first time he’d brought up Diagon Alley to his father - she stepped forward one last time
“Off you go, love,” Eileen said, ushering him up the remaining steps onto the train, her handbag swinging at the crook of her elbow as she waved. “And don’t forget to write!”
The high-pitched whistle rang out once more, and the Hogwarts Express jolted into motion, Kings Cross Station and eventually London itself, growing rapidly smaller and smaller.
Heading inside the train, he was met with a familiar freckle-faced girl waiting for him on the other side of the door.
“How was he?”
“Not here Lily,” Severus shrugged as he pushed past his red-headed friend and strode down the corridor, his stringy black hair hanging in front of his eyes as he stared down at the almost-new oxfords his mum had miraculously managed to find at a thrift shop just off Diagon Alley that morning.
About halfway down the hall, she grabbed the back of his sweater to get his attention. “This one’s empty, Sev.”
Nodding mutely, he joined her in the cabin and practically threw himself onto the padded bench by the window, pulling his oversized, second-hand sweater tight around himself as he leaned his forehead against the window.
He wondered what Hogwarts would look like. His mother hadn’t told him much, although she had shown him a crude representation of it in one of the books in Flourish and Blotts - where she’d spent more money than Severus thought he’d ever seen at once to buy a copy of Hogwarts: A History , the only book that cost more than the school books combined.
“So, Sev,” Lily began, and he could feel her inquisitive green eyes on him without even looking at her. “How- how was he?” she whispered, and he sighed, grateful at least for that: the entirety of Hogwarts didn’t need to know that his father was a drunk Muggle.
‘’The usual,’’ Severus didn’t need to say anything else. Lily was the only person in the entire world besides him and his mother who had any inkling of how his father acted, once he got into one of his ‘moods’.
Lily sighed deeply. ‘’You know, he shouldn’t treat you or your mum that way. It isn’t right.’’
Annoyed, Severus jiggled his feet back and forth on the wood on the floor and stared out the window as London flashed by. Severus had hardly ever left Cokeworth, with its endless rows of nearly identical red brick townhouses, so London’s hodgepodge of concrete and sandstone, with flats that were twice as tall as the houses back home, were all new to him and drew his eye.
Shrugging deeper into his sweatshirt, he glanced at her through a curtain of limp black hair, and was unsurprised to find her green eyes still firmly set on him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he turned back to the window, away from the pity in her eyes. “Petunia doesn’t treat you any better.’’
Lily’s brows furrowed - first in surprise, then in a frown. ‘’Well… Tuney doesn’t drink Scotch.’’
Severus rolled his eyes. ‘’So what’s her excuse, then?’’
‘’Sev, she’s still my sister.’’
‘’Just like my dad is still my dad.’’ Severus shot back.
Lily sighed and sat back in her seat.
In silence, they watched out the window as the streets of London began to fade into countryside, where greenery stretched as far as the eye reached and rolling hills were parted by gliding rivers. Here and there, a lone farm accompanied by a flock of sheep or cows could be seen.
Severus was watching a sheepdog corral a flock of sheep when an elderly woman stopped outside in the corridor. From the corner of his eye, he saw Lily start and abruptly sit up when the kindly woman slid the door open and poked her head into their compartment. “Anything from the trolley, dears?”
Lily hesitated, watching him for a moment before she gave an apologetic shrug and got to her feet.
As Lily surveyed the goods on the trolley, Severus stopped beside her with his hands in his pockets, the few coins that his mother had given him for this purpose clutched tight in his palm.
“You can go first,” Lily ducked her head.
“How much are the chocolate frogs?”
Eileen loved Chocolate Frogs, and though they were a very, very rare treat at home, Severus loved them as well. His mother had told him that she’d used to collect the cards, but Tobias had burned the entire collection. She’d managed to save one card, a rare, early 1900s original print of the dual Merlin and Morgana card. It was probably worth a sizable fortune now, she said, but she’d insisted on holding on to it as a sort of keepsake.
Wincing, Severus exchanged the few galleons he had for a Chocolate Frog. Lily followed his lead and did the same, before thanking the old woman, who smiled and rolled away.
“Here,” Lily set one of her chocolate frogs on the table between them.
Severus frowned, looking from it to Lily.
He didn’t need her pity gifts.
But before he could open his mouth to tell her as much, she spoke again. “It’s a peace offering. They’re your favourite, aren’t they?”
Severus stared at her for a moment, then sighed and grabbed the frog with a muttered, “Thank you.”
As they set about digging into their treats, Lily opened one of the boxes and let out a surprised squeak as the frog leaped onto the window. Dropping his own chocolate frog box, Severus dove after the frog and scooped it up before it could escape through the open window.
Turning back to Lily, he held out the charmed sweet in cupped hands and burst out laughing at the bewildered look on his friend’s face.
“What, doesn’t muggle chocolate do that?”
Her freckled face flushing bright pink with embarrassment, Lily stuck out her tongue and held out her hands for the frog.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to magic,” Lily said as she settled back in her seat, took another look at the chocolate frog wriggling in her hands, then put it back in the box. “I’m so glad we’re going to Hogwarts together, if I had to do this alone, I’d surely make a huge fool of myself.’’
Severus snickered. ‘’Clearly you can manage that even with me here.’’
‘’Sev!’’ Lily stuck her tongue out at him again, and he laughed.
Not so deep down, he shared Lily’s apprehension. His father hated magic, and had banned nearly everything magical from their home, so he was almost as in the dark about the magical world as Lily was. He’d never quite fit in with the other children at his Muggle primary school, and he’d long feared things would be no different in the wizarding world. He was only a measly half-blood after all, with a foot in both worlds and a sense of belonging in neither.
Luckily he had Lily by his side, and he knew Lily would always accept him, if only because she was halfway in both worlds too.
As Severus finished his first chocolate frog and pulled out the card to inspect it, Lily glanced out the window. Quietly, she said, “You know, Tuney got accepted into a private school too.”
“Petunia can do whatever she wants, I don’t care,” Severus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “It's not like she cares about you.”
“ Sev ,” Lily said sharply, her eyes bright with temper. “Just because she said that she doesn’t like me doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about me at all.”
“ Clearly ,” Severus retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes once more, but otherwise remaining quiet, electing to look out the window once more. It was turning dark, and he wondered how many hours more they would have to wait before they reached Hogwarts.
London had long since turned to countryside, and now, as hues of blue melted into pink and orange skies, the hills now turned into mountains.
As the first stars began to appear in the dusk sky, an announcement blared through the loudspeaker in each car: “Students of Hogwarts, we will reach Hogsmeade Station in a few minutes. Please leave your luggage; it will be transported separately.”
Severus and Lily both got to their feet and made their way to the train’s toilets to change.
The toilets were clean, unexpectedly so - though he probably should have expected this of a magical train. Quickly changing into his school robes, Severus stepped back out into the hallway and was headed back to the compartment he’d shared with Lily when he was startled by a loud cackle.
“-and it was just so obvious,” An upper-year witch was saying to her companions. “Can you even imagine having to wear someone else’s hand-me-downs? I think I’d die of shame just being seen in public.”
A flush creeping up the back of his neck and into his ears, Severus ducked his head and hurried back down the corridor before they spotted him and his shabby hand-me-down robes - the best ones they could find.
Returning to their compartment, where Lily was already sitting, having changed as well, Severus let himself in and sat. Lily glanced over and smiled at him by way of greeting, and Severus smiled back despite the sick feeling in his gut. At least she’d never made fun of him for being poor.
Lily turned back to the window, watching nervously as the train approached Hogsmeade station, and they rode the rest of the way in silence, both of them too nervous and excited to say anything.
Eventually, the train rolled to a stop, and there was a commotion outside as other students disembarked and crowded the outside platform. Lily took a deep breath and rose, Severus following half a step behind as she headed down the steps off the train.
As they stepped onto the platform, they heard a loud, booming voice shout, “Firs’ years! Firs’ years, this way!” A large, hulking, three and a half metre tall man with a lantern beckoned at the crowd. Some kids stepped forward, and Lily and Severus hurried towards him as well.
“Greetin’s to you all! My name is Hagrid, the groundskeeper for the Hogwarts Grounds! I will take ye all to Hogwarts on the boats! From next year you will take the carriages! Now c’mon, follow me!”
Severus glanced at Lily warily, who shrugged and followed the large man. Hesitantly, the rest of the first years follow the man down a stone path towards a lake with boats shored.
“No more’n four to a boat!” Hagrid called out, climbing onto a boat. Three young boys strutted forward and joined him, one a little more hesitant than the other two. Meanwhile, the other first years excitedly clambered onto boats; Lily and Severus barely managed to get a boat together, and were joined by a fair looking girl with wild, curly black hair and a sour looking boy with blonde hair.
After everyone had taken their seats, Hagrid held out a pink umbrella. “Forward!” he yelled, and the boats lurched forward, rushing across the huge lake.
“This here is the Black Lake!” Hagrid shouted from the lead boat. “It used ta be bigger, but Headmaster Dumbledore had to reduce the water line: the merpeople were gettin’ a bit too frisky. Try not to shake too much, the Giant Squid might take interest!”
“The giant what? ” Lily repeated, wide-eyed. Hagrid chuckled and waved her off.
Eventually, they reached the opposite shore of the lake. Hagrid stepped out, then beckoned at the first years. “C’mon! The Great Hall is just up there!” The nervous first years climbed out and followed the man as he led them up a series of stairs and parapets. Lily and Severus trudged up the stone stairs after him, so busy looking around that they hardly said a word to one another until the group reached a huge set of wooden doors with inlaid silver knockers, and gargoyles on either side of the doors, their faces frozen in stony snarls.
An austere woman was waiting at the doors, not snarling but no less fearsome than the gargoyles, with her black hair in a bun under a huge pointed hat. She nodded at Hagrid, then led the children inside, through the halls, and into a huge chamber.
“Welcome to Hogwarts,” she greeted. “My name is Minerva McGonagall. I am the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts, as well as Head of House Gryffindor and the Deputy Headmistress. The Sorting will take place soon. Please wait. I will bring you when the Great Hall is ready.” With that, she walked out and the doors closed behind her.
Immediately, the room broke out in a chatter as children spoke in hushed tones.
“How do you think we’ll be sorted? What if it’s a duel?” Lily hissed. “I don’t know how to use my wand yet!”
”Don’t be silly! It can’t be a duel, we’re first years!”
“Then what do you think it will be?”
Severus shrugged. Despite having asked no less than thrice during any opportune moments when his father was out, Eileen had simply smiled coyly and told him that he’d have to wait and see.
Lily opened her mouth to say something else, but fell silent when the doors opened and Professor McGonagall re-appeared in the doorway. She beckoned them inside and the crowd followed.
Gasps of shock rang out as they stepped into the enormous room, where hundreds of candles floated high above their heads like a shimmering night sky, with all the stars that Severus had never gotten to see in the dusty, industrial town of Cokeworth. Banners hung all around the room, and four long tables stood on either side of the doorway, with colored drapes from left to right, in order - green, blue, yellow and red.
All the current students turned to look at the newcomers, some in interest, some in apprehension. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. “First Years, please form a line and follow me.” She strode inside, steps echoing in the silent room, to the front of the chamber.
Towards the front of the room, in front of a podium with a bird’s statue, stood a stool with a dusty, ratty hat on it.
On the dais behind the podium, there was a horizontal table where the teachers sat. In the middle, in the largest and most ornate chair, sat a bearded old man with half-moon glasses and twinkling blue eyes. He smiled as the children were led to the front of the room.
Once they’d come to a stop in a long line-up as they waited to be sorted, what he’d thought was a folded seam on the hat spontaneously ripped open. A couple of first-years gasped, while the older students laughed, amused by their display of ignorance as the ratty hat began to sing.
‘’Surely you must think, what in the blazes could this be?
A strange old hat at Hogwarts, wailing like a banshee?
I am no simple hat, I am not a cloche or a beret.
Why, I am a friend to all, and wise anyway.
In these houses four, you youngsters will be sorted.
They are clever in Ravenclaw, or so it is reported.
In Gryffindor bravery is a must, and courage too.
Or to be ambitious in Slytherin, where only the purest make do.
Hufflepuff has all the rest, equal together through and through.
The founders were different, but they stood united.
All the same through times of strife, no one blighted.
Now, once again, we are at the same crossroads.
We must fight as one, less the situation implodes!
Severus rolled his eyes, wondering why his mother had made such a big deal over the big, mysterious sorting ceremony when it was just a talking hat. Although the hat had pretended to be smart in his little verse, he found it difficult to believe a singing hat had any measure of intellect.
As the hat settled back onto the stool, McGonagall called out the first name.
‘’Abramson, Sep!’’
The hat sat on the scrawny looking boy for a few moments, before the boy was sorted.
‘’RAVENCLAW!’’
The blue-clad students applauded, happy to have gained their new first year, and so the ceremony went on. Until McGonagall called out ‘Evans, Lily!’
Nervously, Severus and Lily exchanged glances before Lily stepped out of the line with a furtive smile and ascended the steps to take a seat on the provided stool. The hat remained still for a while, before calling out:
‘’GRYFFINDOR!’’
Applauding politely, Severus smiled at his friend, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and the moment she took her seat, he raised his gaze to the night sky of the Great Hall to hide his disappointment.
Lily hadn’t been sorted in Slytherin. His oldest and only friend wasn’t in the house that he had wanted to be in. They’d go on to make different friends, if Severus could even make other friends. He wouldn’t see Lily as much anymore. They wouldn’t sit together at meal times. All the images that flashed in his mind filled him with anxiety, and made it hard to breathe. Like he’d suddenly been thrown underwater, and had to struggle to reach the surface. It was as if water was filling his lungs, and he couldn’t get any air. Severus froze, and the rest of the sorting passed by in a flash, before McGonagall suddenly called ‘Snape, Severus’.
Woodenly, Severus walked towards the dais. As he took his seat, he saw Lily leaning out from the Gryffindor table to watch, smiling at him encouragingly. She looked like she’d already made a home there. That was just how she was, Severus knew. Way more social and open than he had ever been. He didn’t want to be without her.
‘Ha! What do we have here?!’’
The jovial tone of the hat, that Severus heard in his mind, annoyed him in an instant.
The hat giggled to himself. ‘’This one surely fits Slytherin to a T!’’
‘’No please.’’ Severus thought. ‘’I don’t know, what will I do without Lily?’’
‘’Hmmm…’’ The hat said. ‘’That attitude won’t serve you in Slytherin. I see a deep desire for friendship and connection. And ambition isn’t unknown in…’’
‘’GRYFFINDOR!’’
Shocked, Severus opened his eyes. The older years clapped politely, and Severus hurried over towards Lily. Her smile was ecstatic, and took away all his doubts immediately. Lily put her arms around him and hugged him tight.
‘’I’m so happy we’re together Sev!’’