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Lily had been hunched over a desk in a secluded corner of the library flicking through dog-eared and musty books for even a clue of help on her assignment, pausing to scribble furiously onto parchment or fiddle with the braid that had sneaked its way in front of her shoulder, for hours. It was raining outside, she didn’t know this for certain as there wasn’t a window in sight, but it was November and whatever God there may be had cursed them with borderline torrential rain for the past week, slogging down to Herbology had been enough to give half the first years a cold. Usually she was undisturbed in this windowless section of the library, with her candles and quills, but the soft patter of feet approaching made her eyes snap up, already pissed off at the threat of intrusion. Her expression softened slightly when she saw who it was, and softened completely when she saw he was holding back tears, rising anxiously from her seat to draw the skinny boy into a hug with a mumbled “C’mere”. He hugged her back, sobbing wetly into her shoulder as she hushed him gently and rubbed circles in his back. “What’s wrong Sev?” she held his shoulders and pushed him away so she could look him in the eye. He wiped his eyes, then nose, with the too-long sleeve of his too-big, moth-bitten, woollen jumper.
“I’ve been l-looking for you all day”
“Wow you missed me this much?” He shook his head, eyes filling up again,
“Then what?”
“I-I followed Lupin...”
“Where?”
“Where he goes every month! Dumbledore threatened to expel me! Black told me to! If it weren’t for Potter...” His voice cracked and faltered, and it took Lily a second to process all this, as it made very little sense and Severus was talking rather fast, between his emotional outbursts
“Where does he go every month, Sev?”
“To that Haunted Hut-”
“-The Shrieking Shack?” She interrupted.
“Y-yes! There’s a tunnel under that infernal tree-”
“-The Whomping Willow?”
“That leads to the hut and he goes there to become… to become...” He ignored her interruption this time, as he started to become a little hysterical and rather louder than one should be in a library,
“To become what, Severus?”
“A werewolf.” He whispered, with a wild look in his eyes.
“You’re a better actor than I took you for, Sev,” She chuckled, sitting back down, all concern dissipated, “Did James put you up to this? Or one of those 7th years that have been bothering you?” He just kept crying.
“Sev?” The concern had returned, if it was a joke then why hadn’t he broken character, “Oh, Sev...”
“Potter followed me, he pulled me away from Lupin before he could fully… Transform,” He spat the last part, with a somewhat biassed venom and disgust, “He took me to Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore came and threatened to expel me if I told anyone.” He was angry now, and Lily couldn’t quite tell what to make of it, but she thought she might be angry when she’d had a chance to ponder it some more.
+++
James was twiddling his thumbs as he sat across the table from an equally exhausted and nervous Peter, the Common room was unusually quiet. A quiet which was destroyed as a red-head with a grimly determined and distinctly motherly expression clambered through the portrait hole, and dragged a chair, squealing on the stone flagstones, to their table and sat, leaning forwards on her elbows.
“Where’s Sirius?”
“Dunno,” The boys answered in unison, though James added a cautious“ Why?” onto the end.
“Because I want to talk to him,”
“Why do you want to talk to him?” Lily growled in frustration, and pinched the bridge of her forehead.
'She’s hot when she’s mad' James thought. 'Wow she’s fucking scary' Peter thought.
They shared a look while the redhead wasn't looking at them, James furrowed his brow and sighed.
"We don't know,"
"What do you mean you don't know? He's meant to be your best friend!"
"He is! And I mean we don't know! Him and Remus have fallen out and we can't find either of them"
"Then what're you gonna do?"
"We thought about looking for them but we decided it was best to wait for them to come back." Peter volunteered, looking slightly sheepish as he realised that she wouldn’t love that answer.
"Ugh" Lily turned on her heel and marched towards the portrait hole, clambering in. "Where are you going?" James called across the room. "To find Sirius!" She called back, before pulling the portrait shut with a soft woosh and a gentle clack, as the frame clicked into position. “Of course.” James muttered.
“Prongs?”
“Wormy?”
“Why didn’t you give her the map?"
“They need their space, and anyway, it’d be a hassle to justify making the map to her.”
“But she’s going to find them.”
“Ehh, probably not.”
“Exploding snap?” Peter had already pulled the game out of… God only knows where. James rummaged in his pocket and slapped a handful of knuts on the table, which had been worn smooth and speckled with burns by thousands of like-minded Gryffindor students
+++
Lily stood outside the Common Room, realising what a huge task it would be to scour the entirety of the castle. The corridor was chilly, especially for someone who’s just left a permanently warm room, with the seemingly-eternally burning fire. She knew there were a few hours in the night where no fire raged in the Gryffindor Common Room, when everyone had gone to bed and the flames died down. She also knew that the embers weren’t cold by the time a House Elf came to relight it, the walls themselves probably retained the heat, unlike the rest of the rooms in the castle, which took hours to properly warm up, with the chill emanating off the stone walls. The dungeons never warmed up, how the Slytherins endured she’d never be able to guess, though it probably explained a lot about their typically foul moods. ‘That’s an unfair stereotype’ she reminded herself silently.
The portraits bustled in the usual manner, largely ignoring the stony faced redhead lurking in the corridor. “Are you going to go then, love?” The Fat Lady huffed. Lily mumbled apologetically as she hurried off, down the stairs, wondering where to look first. She had no idea. Sirius had never hidden before. She had. First floor girls toilets and the Library were go tos, no one goes in the first and no one would bother you in the second. She’d check there then, maybe hit up a few classrooms in between, maybe of their favourite teachers… or unused rooms. She squared her shoulders and started her advance on the girls toilets, in an almost military fashion, they would be easier to search than the Library.
Ten minutes later, two nauseating moving staircases, and three empty classrooms (also one cringe worthy encounter with a young couple) later, Lily was a hair's breadth from the target room: the girls toilet. Her pace quickened with impatience and she could practically hear Moaning Myrtle sobbing.
“Miss Evans, may I have a word?” a commanding and reedy Scottish voice announced across the empty corridor, Professor McGonagalll. Lily cursed quietly, “Charming, but it’s quite important if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, Professor.” “Wonderful, would you accompany me to my office?” McGonagall began walking away, back to the Gryffindor Tower, the opposite direction to where Lily had hoped to journey. Lily followed her, as her thin frame glided away. McGonagall's office was a small, sparsely decorated room, with a large welcoming fire, one aspect that seemed to be affiliated with Gryffindors, their affinity to fire. The transfiguration teacher sat herself down, not behind the ornate oak desk, with neat piles of parchments and books, that dominated the room, but rather in one of a pair of plush chairs by the fireplace, a coffee table that matched her desk between them. The table was adorned with a plate of biscuits, which McGonagall caught Lily looking at, with a thin smile.
“Biscuit, Evans?”
She took one silently, with a hesitant smile, and nibbled while Professor McGonagall watched her, hands folded in her lap, atop the dark green robes. An odd choice of colour for the Head of Gryffindor, Lily had thought often.
“Mr Lupin has quit his Prefect duties,” She said, gauging Lily's reaction to her words, but she just continued to nibble her biscuit, fighting to look nonchalant.
“I know you are close to the boys, as well as Mr Snape, I wondered if you may be able to offer any explanation for this?”
“Did Remus not tell you why he quit?” Hoping her voice stayed steady and measured. “No, he sent me an owl. I was looking for him when I stumbled upon you.” She handed Lily a torn section of parchment with Remus’s looping script.
Professor McGonagall,
I will not be continuing with my duties as prefect, I would like to recommend James Potter to take over in lieu of me, I hope this will be acceptable to you.
Yours, Remus Lupin
Lily’s eyes filled with tears, he didn’t think he was worthy of his role? That he’d worked hard for? That people shouldn’t look to him for guidance? Did he think he was a monster? Worse, she thought to herself, he thinks his friends think he’s a monster, a weapon.
“Why would he resign?” Lily's voice wavered as she tried to seem ignorant of the facts, Severus would be expelled if anyone knew he told me, she reminded herself. Professor McGonagall took the fragment of parchment gently from Lily’s shaking hands, placing it on the table between them.
“I believe you know, Miss Evans,” Lily knew she couldn’t lie for love nor money, but McGonagall continued, “And when you find him I’d like you to give him this,” The older witch stood and swept to her desk, retrieving a thick envelope from inside a draw and placing in Lily’s hand. McGonagall ushered her out of the office door, into the famously sharp chill of a Hogwarts corridor, her voice followed Lily as she trotted away, full of determination.
“And, Miss Evans, when you find Mr Black could you send him to my office?”