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You are in so much trouble.
People in the Armed Detective Agency assume you and Dazai are...involved. Nobody is quite sure if you're official, dating, seeing each other or just friends with benefits. How you interact with one another changes per day, sometimes you barely speak what with Dazai going out into Yokohama to work and you staying in to do admin stuff, other times you spend most of your time together. It's confusing to outsiders and nobody quite dares bring it up with Dazai - they have learned not to ask questions he might not feel like answering when it comes to you.
What they don't know is that you basically live with Dazai these days. They don't know you two have a secret little domestic life going on right under their noses they're ignorant about. True, Dazai has been very protective of you ever since you were discovered and joined the Armed Detective Agency, but nobody is aware of exactly how overprotective he can be, or the measures Dazai puts in place to ensure your safety. He takes taking care of you very seriously.
But it is annoying, when he coddles you in front of everyone. He brings you lunches and chides you if you don't eat all of it, brings you water or fruit juice and stands there until you obediently take a sip. He does reports he thinks would be 'too challenging' for you and he only ever lets you go out on missions as long as he's there, keeping an eye on you at all times and making sure you never get into anything too dangerous - so you never get to do anything exciting.
So one day, you got sick of it, especially when you heard Kunikida and the others talking about it, how Dazai treats you like a baby sometimes. It made your blood boil. Kyouka was younger than you, but nobody ever told her she couldn't go out and fight bad guys. Atsushi and Junichiro were so timid they couldn't even tell a barista they'd given them the wrong coffee, but they still got to go out in Yokohama on the job sometimes.
When news of the Port Mafia hassling some people downtown came to the Armed Detective Agency, naturally they got ready to deal with it. When Dazai and Kunikida left to go scope out the situation, Atsushi was left behind to go another way and see if they could catch the Port Mafia members in the act. You followed him out, grinning to yourself - you'd go out, see some action and return to the office before Dazai ever got wind that you were gone. You doubted Ranpo or Kiriko would snitch.
Unfortunately, that's not what happened.
You and Atsushi got ambushed - you didn't know how the Port Mafia members knew they were being tailed, but all of a sudden the two of you were herded into a dead end, with several goons pointing guns at you. Even with your ability, you froze in the face of it, like a deer in headlights. Atsushi's power may have been strong, but what could he do against that many bullets?
You had no idea if it was luck or a sixth sense or just Dazai planning for everything, but he and Kunikida showed up in the nick of time. The goons were taken care of in a matter of seconds, and while Kunikida used Doppia Poet to tie them up, Dazai was checking to make sure you and Atsushi were okay.
At the office, he acted like nothing was wrong, being his usual Dazai self, joking around and calling himself the hero of Yokohama, as Yosano rolls her eyes at him and Kunikida reminds him that the guy they were chasing got away. But you know he's furious - you can tell by the tightness of his smile and the slight stiffness of his shoulders. You lower your eyes to your desk, and you have to blink hard to stop the urge to tear up. You know Dazai is very unhappy with you, and when Dazai is unhappy with you, you're made to dearly regret it.
In short, you're going to get such a hiding when you get home.
"Dazai-"
"No." he cuts you off, staring straight ahead and striding so quickly you have to jog to keep up. "Not a word until we get home, young lady."
You can only nod meekly and try your best not to fall behind.
You're so screwed.
You stand in the middle of the carpet, eyes down. God, you hate it when he does this - sometimes you wish he'd just yell at you or something and get it over with right then and there, but it's not Dazai's style. No, he likes to make you wait, give you time to stew on what's about to happen and really squirm. It's almost a relief when the actual punishment finally begins, because the wait is almost unbearable.
"Come here."
You approach Dazai, feeling like the soles of your feet are sticking to the floor. You almost want to start crying already, but you know it won't win you any sympathy from Dazai - both of you know you deserve this.
He lifts your skirt and tugs your panties down, ignoring your little whimpers of embarrassment. If you wanted to keep those on, you should have listened when he told you not to go chasing after the Port Mafia goons and stay put. But no, you had to go and get yourself in trouble and it was only thanks to Dazai and Kunikida's quick thinking that you got out unharmed. Dazai can still recall the speed his heart was pounding when he thought you'd been hurt - it's one of the worst things there is, and for what? Because you wanted to prove you were useful? Show everyone what a big girl you are?
Yeah, no.
The offending clothing removed, Dazai pulls you across his lap, ensuring you won't be sliding off and your upturned bottom is the highest point of your body, bent over as you were, feet not quite touching the floor. You can't help but squirm a bit over his knees, blushing - no matter how many times you've earned yourself a spanking from Dazai, being positioned like this with your ass out is just so humiliating.
"You’re lucky I didn’t put you over my knee right then and there in the office, little girl.” Dazai scolds you, leaning back against the couch. “Consider this a good lesson in what happens when you don’t follow orders.”
You don’t have time to mention Dazai never obeys any orders given to him, because his hand cracks down hard on your right cheek. You let out a squeal, jolting.
“Ow!”
Sharp smacks land on each cheek, your bottom bouncing with every smack. Dazai is thorough when it comes to punishing you for being naughty, making sure to spread the blows evenly across the entire surface of your bottom. He also swats at the crease between your ass and thighs and lands some swats to your sit-spots too. He intends to make sure you don’t forget your lessons for a good while, so he keeps up a steady rhythm.
Your arms flail around and you don’t know what you should be doing with them, the floor is too far away for you to grab and Dazai’s other hand is resting on your back to hold you in place as he gives you a good spanking. Eventually you just settle for grabbing his leg, fingers digging into the fabric.
“Do you know how worried I was when I saw you in that alleyway, young lady?” Dazai lectures you, his voice hard as he gives you some extra hard smacks. “You don’t have the experience to fight the Port Mafia. Just what did you think you were doing?”
“Ow! Ow! Ow! I just…you never let me do anything useful for everyone! I wanted to prove I can do more than just stupid paperwork!” you whine.
“Well, mission not accomplished.”
He shifts his position a little and uses his other leg to pin your flailing legs down. All you can do is lie over his lap and bawl. When he gets like this, Dazai is merciless, even when it's you, his precious baby, who is the source of it. He doesn't stop for a moment, hand smacking sharply over your bare ass and making you yowl and squeal with each spank. Your bottom hurts so much, it feels like it's on fire, but you're utterly helpless, draped over his knee like this. Your legs kick out as if that will help with the sting and clutch onto his trouser leg for dear life.
"Dazai, pleeeease! I'm sorry!" you wail.
"Good." is all Dazai says, his voice devoid of its usual playfulness. "I warned you not to go. This is what happens to bad little girls who don't listen to daddy."
There’s a pause, then you hear something and the next moment there's a loud CRACK and pain flares across your ass. You let out a howl.
"OWWW!"
Dazai twirls the paddle he bought specifically for this purpose in his hand. It's a pretty thing, made of a light wood and with a little ribbon wrapped around the handle. Even the mere sight of this thing is enough to drive terror into your heart and he doesn't like to use it on you - but after today, he has no choice. If anything will drive the lesson home that you putting yourself at risk is unacceptable, this will do it.
"Now, young lady. Daddy's going to give you ten doses of the paddle here. You're going to count them for me, and if you miss one, we'll start over. Understand?"
"Yeeeeeees..." you moan, sobbing pitifully.
Though you can't see his face, Dazai's expression shifts a little. Though he will follow through with what he promises, he hates seeing you cry. He had been intending on sending you to the corner once he was done with the paddling, but he can see you've worked yourself into far too much of a state for that. Your plans to impress him have backfired so terribly and now you must think he hates you. He can't have that.
With that, he draws his hand back, holding the brush steady.
WHAP!
"Aaah! One!" you squeal.
WHAP!
"Two!"
WHAP!
“Three!”
And on it goes. Dazai gives you ten good whacks with the flat of the brush, and your bottom resembles that of an over-ripe cherry by the time he's finished. You're no longer squirming or kicking, you just lie over his lap, crying so hard you're starting to hyperventilate. He sets the thing aside and runs a hand over your reddened backside, a soothing gesture to steady you.
"All done." he says softly. "You took that very well, princess. Come here."
Dazai helps you upright and you immediately collapse into his chest, crying so hard he's worried you're going to give yourself hiccups. Dazai pulls you to him and makes shushing noises, stroking your hair, which always helps settle you when you work yourself into a state like this. No doubt you're regretting your foolish actions now, but no matter how displeased Dazai may be with your behavior today, he'll never allow any doubts in your head how much he loves you.
"Sssh, sssh." he coos, rubbing your back as you start to calm down a little, rocking you back and forth. "I know, baby. I know. But do you understand why Daddy had to give you a spanking?"
You nod, pressing your face against his shoulder.
"I need to hear it, baby. I need to make sure you know."
You take in a shuddering breath, voice still thick with tears. But Dazai's voice is gentle now and he's holding you, so it's easier to think when he's like this.
"B-because I... didn’t listen...nearly got shot by those Port Mafia guys..." you mumble, embarrassed by your own foolishness. "I scared you and made you worry. I'm so sorry..."
Dazai's smile is like the sun coming out after his stormy mood before, and he kisses you gently, a hand snaking down to rub at your smarting bottom - you don't think you'll be able to sit normally for a week. But it does feel nice, and for a little bit he just holds you like that, shushing you and assuring you that all is forgiven now. You know he was only so harsh with you because he was frightened of losing you and you'll take any comfort offered now.
After you've calmed down and stopped crying, Dazai uses a cloth to dry your face, then hoists you up, carrying you towards the bedroom. You cling onto him, a little confused, until he sets you down on the bed on your back, peeling off your shirt as he does. You're so confused you let him remove your shirt and skirt without complaint, just leaving you in an undershirt. Dazai ruffles your hair, before turning towards the closet and opening it up, sticking his head inside.
"Now then..."
Dazai emerges from the closet, holding something between pinched fingers - a dress, or what passes as one. It's in a sugary shade of pink, with frilly sleeves and a skirt, and a ribbon in slightly darker pink around the waist. It's one of his favorite garments to dress you in, probably because it makes you look just as much like a little girl as he treats you.
"Dazai..." you say, whining slightly at the sight of it.
"Ssh. Don't fuss now, Angel."
You fall silent, lest Dazai decide another spanking is in order - you can't take another one in one night. So, you obediently raise your arms as he stands before you and let him pull off your shirt and slip the dress over your head, humming in satisfaction as the soft, dainty fabric settles over you. He ties the ribbon carefully, tightening it it a bow, then looks fondly down at you.
"There. Just one more thing now..."
He reached beneath the bed and pulls it out, the thing you've been quietly dreading - a pack of diapers. You bite back the urge to protest. It's no good trying to talk Dazai out of it once he's settled on your punishment and he rewards compliance, so it's better to just let him get it other with without putting up a fight. So, blushing, you obediently lie back and close your eyes so you don't have to watch him put it on you - it's embarrassing enough as it is.
Dazai's touch is gentle as he lifts your lower body and slots the thing beneath you, and makes sure to add plenty of powder, which makes you sneeze a little. You wriggle a little as he rubs a little cool cream on your very sore ass and sigh at how cool the ointment feels.
"Is that nice, sweetheart?"
"Mmhmm..." you mumble.
Dazai chuckles as he tapes you up, then stands back to survey his handiwork. The dress on you doesn't even reach the tops of your thighs, so the new adornment around your hips is perfectly visible. You look so adorable he's tempted to take a picture for a memento but decides to refrain for tonight. Anyway, he can always dress you up again if he feels like it. With a hum, he bends and scoops you up, easily able to carry you despite his lanky frame.
"Now, then. Why don't we go and watch some TV, hmm?"
"'Kay." you agree, mostly relieved Dazai is no longer mad at you - he's pretty scary when he gets angry. He carries you into the living room and sits you down on the couch and you try to ignore the crinkling sound that ensues with the movement. Picking up the remote, Dazai flicks the TV on, then turns to you with a little smile.
"Now just sit tight a moment, I'll be right back."
He disappears into the kitchen and you're a little miffed he took the remote with him, but it's not like he lets you watch anything harsher than a PG anyway - he says it's not suitable for little ones. So, you settle against the cushions with a sigh, shifting about quite a bit to get comfortable on your sore bottom. You're watching some ad, not really taking in what it's selling, when Dazai waltzes back into the room. He plucks you up and settles you on his lap, and you snuggle in to get comfy. A few moments later and he's picked a movie both of you love, and you feel a sense of calm wash over you as you settle down to watch it.
Dazai has another surprise in store for you, though.
"Okay, sweetie, I think you need this after all the excitement today. Open up."
The next moment, the rubbery tip of a bottle is shoved in your mouth, and you let out a muffled squeak of surprise. So that's what he was doing - Dazai's not much of a cook but when you got into this weird relationship with him, he learned a couple of things and one of those was how to make some proper milk. Dazai chuckles as you try to accommodate the sudden appearance.
"Well, we don't want you getting dehydrated now, do we? Drink up. And I want you to have all of it, okay? That's it, good girl..."
It's not so bad, really. The milk is just the right temperature and Dazai was right that you were thirstier than you realized after crying so much. He holds the bottle carefully so you're not getting too much milk at once and for a little while both of you just watch the movie, Dazai humming softly and you quietly drinking. The milk makes you feel warm and sleepy, and your eyelids start to droop a bit. You're safe, comfortable and forgiven, lying on Dazai's lap with a peaceful evening ahead. Once he's satisfied you've had enough to drink, he removes the bottle and wipes your mouth off with a chuckle.
"There you go. Just one more thing..."
He reaches into his pocket and his final surprise is revealed - a pacifier, the bright blue plastic gleaming under the lights. You squirm a bit, but you don't resist when Dazai pops it into your mouth. You just give him a slightly baleful stare before obediently starting to suck.
"That's right." Dazai praises you, and you hate how happy it makes you when he sounds so genuinely pleased with you. "There's my good little one. Oh, and don't worry, if you need a change later, I'll make sure you're nice and dry."
You whine in protest, blushing - you've never done that and he knows it - and Dazai chuckles and boops your nose.
"So cute. Let's watch the movie and then it's bedtime, hmm? Someone's had a hard day."
You nod sleepily, too tired now to fight him on his insistence on treating you like a baby or care that much over what you're wearing. You'd die of shame if anybody in the Armed Detective Agency ever got even the faintest hint over what you and Dazai get up to when you're alone, but at least you know he'd never tell anyone - it's a secret between the two of you and you suppose as long as it stays that way, you don't mind that much. Sometimes it is nice to know somebody cares this much about you.
Yes, the Armed Detective Agency aren't really sure what's going on between you and Dazai and at times, neither are you. But as you lie in his arms as he rocks you to sleep, you can't help but think that you don't mind it so much.