Work Text:
The Wind Paths were shining brightly today. “What a perfect day!” said the Light Whisperer.
“Dinn-er’s ready!” said the Talented Builder as he brought two plates to the field. To the Light Whisperer, they were a perfect person. An incredible work ethic, a brilliant sense of craftsmanship, and those big, strong arms! The Light Whisperer was drooling not because of the roasted wooly manta, but because of the Oh-So-Talented Builder.
The two of them sat down on the Builder’s beautifully constructed dining table, and began eating. “I did it myself!” the Builder said with excitement. “I found the wooly manta, slaughtered it with my spear, skinned it, threw out the bad parts, just… for you.”
The Light Whisperer tasted the cooked wooly manta. It was inedible. But not like it mattered. A date with the Builder would be worth eating hundreds of wooly mantas.
“You like them? I’m glad you do.” The Builder was gobbling up the wooly manta like it was nobody’s business. In fact, they even took the Light Whisperer’s plate and ate all the wooly manta. “Speaking of which, I have ordered the Resh King company to slaughter every single wooly manta in existence. They will all die.”
The Light Whisperer blushed. “B-but why? Why are you siding with the King! He has too much power!”
“The King will lead to the prosperity of our crumbling nation. Resh will do whatever it takes to get resources, unlike these filthy Teth and Lamed folk. I am voting for Resh in the next election. They will win. It is inevitable.”
The Light Whisperer, despite thinking that the Builder was out of his mind, was engrossed by his fluid way of talking. However, they soon regained their confidence. “To think that the flight of the wooly manta will soon end is horrifying. Why are you doing this?”
The Builder laughed in a dreamy way. “Flight?? You mean the eleventh seasonal event in the live version of Sky since its global release, generally releasing to mixed/negative reviews? By the way, do you know who Steve Jobs is?”
They were too infatuated. The Light Whisperer jumped up, wishing to cuddle with his destined lover, but failed, crashing to the ground. “Who the heck is… Steve Jobs?”
“L-“ the Builder started, but not before snapping their figures and ending this absurdist fanfic forever.