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It was a quiet flight home. The silence of everyone sitting on that staff was almost deafening. No one dared to even make a sound. Because if they did, it would just make everything more real than they wanted it to be.
Eda’s chest felt so heavy, full of grief for someone who hadn’t even died, yet it felt completely empty at the same time. Raine, the love of her life, had just completely forgotten everything that happened between them only a few weeks ago. They told her that they hadn’t spoken in years, and to never contact them again. But what puzzled and hurt Eda the most is that they said they supposedly worked for the Emperor now.
None of it made sense. Something wasn’t right, and Eda couldn’t figure it out for the life of her. It took everything in her not to do a complete 180 on the staff, kidnap Raine again, bring them home, and shake their shoulders until they remembered who they really were. This wasn’t the Raine that Eda knew. They would never go back to the Emperor, never in their life. They took the time to form an entire rebel group against the coven system just to give it all up? No, that wasn’t right at all.
What happened to them while she was gone?
Eda gripped onto the staff so hard she could feel her nails digging into the skin of her palms. It all made her physically sick to think about. It hurt for her to breathe. She only wanted to bury herself in the ground and lay there until death came to take her away. She felt awful.
Once everyone arrived back at the owl house, even Hooty could sense things were off. He settled with a friendly welcome back exchange, and no more than that. And as soon as the three household members were inside, Eda turned to Luz and noticed the girl wringing her hands nervously, looking down at her lightly stained slip-on shoes.
“…I'm sorry things didn’t work out, kiddo… you doing okay?”
Luz only shrugged in response, slowly walking over to Eda and wrapping her in a gentle hug. The older witch gladly took it, and King also managed to squeeze himself into it. They stood like that in the middle of the living room for a few minutes before Eda pulled away, tucking Luz’s hair behind her ear.
“Let’s try and get some sleep, okay?… you think you’ll be fine on your own tonight?” Eda asked as Luz thought for a moment, and then nodded.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay…”
“Alright… I’ll see you in the morning then.”
Once Eda closed the door to her room, she stood there for a few seconds, glancing over at the chest near her vanity. She knew some old pictures of her and Raine were in there. She knew looking through them would only make her feel worse, but something compelled her to do it anyway. It was all she had left of them anymore.
Eda slowly walked over to the chest, knelt down in front of it and opened it up. The first thing she spotted was a small scrapbook that Raine had made Eda for her 17th birthday. She had been cursed not too long before at the time, and wasn’t handling it well. The mint haired witch decided to try and cheer her up by collecting different photos they had of them together, and put them all in a small journal with some cute stickers and doodles on the side for decoration. In the sense of cheering Eda up, it worked wonders. It even worked for many years to come after that.
Eda crawled over to sit against the wall next to the chest and began to look through the small picture book. The first page was entirely Grudgby themed, containing pictures of Eda and Raine at different practices and games throughout the years. There were a few pictures where Eda had scooped up Raine like they weighed nothing, a big victorious grin plastered on her face, and the bard looking as bashful as ever. Eda chuckled softly, feeling her eyes start to sting as she continued turning page after page.
The woman didn’t want to cry. She hated crying, and it did nothing to help. Crying won’t get Raine back. Crying won’t restore their memory. It won’t do anything, so it’s pointless.
That was until Eda stumbled upon her favorite picture of them. It was a small PolarVoid photo that Raine had taken of the two of them laying in the snapdragon field. Their snapdragon field. They had their foreheads pressed together, and Eda’s hair was still a bright tied up citrus color. She was laughing in the picture. She was genuinely happy. Raine stared at Eda with the most warm smile on their face. They were completely, and utterly in love with her wonderful eyes and her sweet laugh. Oh, how that laugh made their heart jump and flutter for so many years. The sound of it never got old to Raine. Ever.
That’s when Eda broke. She slammed the book shut and tossed it across the room. She couldn’t control the tears one bit, so she let them fall. Every muscle, every nerve, every little thing in her body was not holding back a single tear from her eye. Eda slowly crumbled to the floor beneath her, gripping her hair with everything she had and pulled and tugged at it in frustration. She was so unbelievably angry at herself that it physically hurt to be in her own body. Why did she make everyone leave? Why did she always push people away? She didn’t mean to hurt everyone, she only wanted to protect them. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair at all .
Eda let out a series of frustrated sobs. She wasn’t afraid to be vocal with her pain. The kids wouldn’t hear her anyway. But even if they did, she didn’t care. They had their own families to worry about. She was only their temporary caretaker until they could return to their real homes. Nothing more than that.
That’s all Eda was to everyone. She was temporary. Everyone left eventually. No one stayed forever. In the end, she was all alone. And maybe it was better that way. No one deserved to be hurt by her. No one.
Eda was so lost in her own head that she didn’t hear Luz knocking at her door, and eventually coming in just to say goodnight, but instead finding her mentor in a fetal position on the floor and tugging aggressively at her hair while loudly sobbing. The girl acted in an instant, rushing over to Eda and laying down with her to wrap her arms around her in comfort. The older woman jumped, looked down at Luz, and held her tightly with shaky arms like a giant teddy bear. Luz gently rubbed her back, nuzzling closer into Eda’s embrace.
“We’ll be okay, Eda… it’s gonna be okay…”
Eda wasn’t sure if that was really true, and secretly, neither was Luz. They were both so scared and confused, but they had to keep going for the ones they loved. For Camila. For Amity. For Raine…
For each other.