Archive of Our Own ^beta

Finding a routine is hard. Sticking to it is even harder.

5:30 A.M. wake up.
6:15 A.M. get to the gym.
7:30 A.M. get to the agency.
1:00 P.M. lunch.
2:00 P.M. patrol.
8:30 P.M. dinner.
9:30 P.M. bedtime.

Most days without fail, this was the day Bakugo faced, and honestly, he loved it. He couldn’t describe why it made him so happy, why knowing exactly what comes next brought a smile to his face. No surprises meant no last-minute plans and no frustrations.

Bakugo had just left the gym when he felt the slight buzz in his back pocket. Grumbling, he pulled his phone out and stopped dead in his tracks when he read the name on the caller ID.

Izuku Midoriya.

It had probably been close to three years since he’d last talked to Midoriya. At first, Bakugo told himself it was because of time zones or some other bullshit reason. But, after that, the excuses became harder and harder to justify. The phone rang for another minute before stopping, and the missed call notification barely had time to register before another call started. Bakugo let three more calls pass before returning to reality and hitting the answer button.

“I’m so glad you answered,” Midoriya said instantly. “I wasn’t sure what time it was, and I didn’t wake you up because, let me tell you, this would not be a fun wake up call to receive and-”

“You’re rambling,” Bakugo said, continuing his walk to the agency; at this rate, he would be a few minutes late.

“Right…” Midoriya trailed off, and neither of them said anything for what felt like hours.

“Was there a reason you called?” Bakugo asked suddenly, pulling the door open and taking the stairs two at a time to his office.

“Yeah… I don’t know how to say this…”

Bakugo slowed, suddenly wary of what Midoriya was going to say. Midoriya released a shaky breath, and Bakugo knew, without even seeing him, that Midoriya was crying.

“It’s your mom… she passed away a few hours ago.”

Midoriya kept talking, but Bakugo didn’t process a single word. His entire body went on autopilot as he walked up to the third floor and second door on the left, pushing the door open and shuffling to his desk and nearly falling into his chair. Midoriya’s words kept replaying in his head.

She passed away a few hours ago…
She passed away a few hours ago…
She passed away a few hours ago…

“Mom’s dead?”

Midoriya’s jaw shut with an audible clack as he was silent for a few seconds, as if he were nodding, then he answered, remembering that Bakugo couldn’t see him. “She is, Kacchan. I’m so sorry!”

Bakugo heard faint sniffles and snorts as Midoriya blew his nose. He shook his head to clear it.

“Of course, do you want me to call again later tonight?”

“You don’t have to do that… how’s dad?”

“Not great… I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry that much,” Midoriya muttered.

“Right…” Bakugo said dully.

The two of them sat in silence, unable to come up with the right thing to say. “I’m really sorry for your loss,” Midoriya said after a while.

“Thanks… I guess?” Bakugo had no idea what to say, and the more he talked, the stupider he felt. He’d dealt with family members dying before, but he was too little or too distant to grieve those losses. A sickening thought twisted in his stomach, and he screwed his eyes shut as if that would make the idea less painful.

“Hey, talk to you soon, ok?”

“Yeah, talk to you soon,” Bakugo muttered, hanging up the phone and leaning back in his chair. His eyes were still closed when he heard a knock at the door.

“Katsuki, sir, I have today’s schedule and-” His assistant, MacKenzie, said while entering. She was shuffling some papers but stopped when she saw Bakugo. “Is everything ok?”

Bakugo opened his eyes but didn’t look at her. He’d never mentioned his mom before. Hell, come to think of it, he’d barely mentioned anyone from home before. Of course, those things were personal and didn’t mix well with work, but he knew there wasn’t anything else he could say that would explain the situation better than the truth.

“Just got a call from home… my mom died a few hours ago.”

MacKenzie gasped and placed a hand over her heart. “I’m sorry for your loss,” She whispered, lowering her gaze, but it snapped up a second later. “What are you doing here? You should be at home!”

“That’s not necessary-” Bakugo started, but he was quickly cut off.

“I insist you shouldn’t be working, not after hearing news like that!”

“Seriously, I’m fine-”

“But-”

“Just let me work, ok!” Bakugo snapped. He regretted his words the second they came out. All the years spent in therapy and self-improvement were gone instantly, and he hated how MacKenzie flinched at the sudden volume increase. “Mac, I know you have my best interest at heart, but I need to be here right now.” Bakugo closed his eyes again and tried to control his breathing. In for four and then out for eight, he repeated the exercise twice more before talking again. “I need to prepare the agency for my departure. Can you reschedule my meetings so I can do that?”

“Of course, sir,” She said, still slightly shocked.

“Thank you,” He whispered.

MacKenzie nodded and started to leave but turned back at the last moment. “I know we aren’t friends, but I'm ready to listen if you ever want to talk; I’m ready to listen.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything else. MacKenzie waited for another second then promptly left the office, leaving Bakugo in some desperately needed privacy.

Going through the airport felt like a surreal experience. Bakugo thought that he’d never be back here, or if he were, it certainly wasn’t to go back to Japan but here he was boarding the plane and trying to figure out what he was going to say to his dad when he opened the door. Bakugo thought he’d have enough time on the plane, but his mind was still blank on what to say as they descended. What he needed more time, and he didn’t know how he could get it.

As Bakugo collected his bags, he gazed over the bustling crowd. It was a strange feeling not being constantly recognized and gawked at, there were one or two onlookers, but it was nothing like it was back home. As he walked through the airport, Bakugo could see where everyone was really looking. Midoriya had a small crowd around him asking for autographs or pictures, and of course, he was ready to oblige every request. His eyes caught Bakugo’s, and he pushed himself through the crowd, his arms already open by the time he reached Bakugo.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Midoriya said, pulling away and grabbing one of Bakugo’s bags.

“Yeah…” Bakugo muttered, unsure of what to say. Besides their conversation a few days ago, they hadn’t talked in god knows how many years. There were times Bakugo would go online to see how his friends and classmates were doing, but the internet could only tell you so much.

“Are you going home, or did you get a hotel?”

Bakugo stared at Midoriya, then shook his head as he processed that he was being asked a question. “Hotel, but I’m not going there yet.” He said, his mind finally coming up with a half-decent solution to his problem.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, can you send me Todoroki’s address?”

Midoriya was taken aback by Bakugo’s question and nearly stopped in his tracks. “Uh, yeah, I can send you his address, or I can just drive you over there myself if you’d like?”

“Nah, I need to stretch my legs a little. I’ll be fine.”

The lie was blatant, but Midoriya didn’t argue, pulling out his phone and typing in Todoroki’s address. Then, as he hit send, he lifted Bakugo’s other bag off of him. “Just let me know when you’re coming back so I can give you your things, ok?”

Bakugo nodded, and they parted ways. He didn’t especially like seeing Todoroki, especially after how much time had passed. Still, he was the only one who could understand what Bakugo was going through, and if he had any advice, Bakugo was more than willing to hear it.

Walking through the gated community to Todoroki’s place, Bakugo’s nerves increased tenfold. What if he wasn’t home? What if he went to the wrong house? What if Todoroki didn’t even let him in? What if Todoroki had nothing that would help Bakugo? The questions flooded his brain, and nothing he could do would make them stop.

Finally seeing Todoroki’s house, Bakugo took a deep, steadying breath and walked up the front door. Before he could overthink the situation, Bakugo pounded on the door twice. Nobody came to the door at first, and Bakugo started to rock back and forth as he waited. He thought about knocking again, but as he did, it opened. His eyes widened in shock as he took in the man at the door, and what little confidence he managed to work up disappeared without a second thought.

“Sero? What are you doing at Todoroki’s place?” Bakugo asked, still have dazed from his surprise.

“I live here,” Sero said cooly, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms; his expression was unamused.

“Live here? Are you two roommates or something?” Bakugo knew the moment he said those words how stupid they sounded, and Sero knew it too.

“Try husbands,” He bit, holding up his hand and showing the ring on his finger.

Married? Bakugo stared at Sero as he tried to piece the words together. He couldn’t remember Sero and Todoroki spending a lot of time together back in school, but then again… “Con- congratulations,” Bakugo said suddenly, realizing that he was just staring at Sero’s hand. “When did that happen?”

“Fours years ago,” Sero scoffed, his annoyance leaking through his words.

“Oh.” That was all Bakugo could say. Four years, Sero had been married for four years, and not once did he ever think to tell Bakugo hell he’d never even received an invite in the first place. It’s not like you’ve exactly been keeping up with him since leaving. Bakugo cringed at the truth the words held, but he didn’t have time to feel sorry about lost friendships. He needed to speak to Todoroki.

“Is Todo- your husband home? I need to talk to him.”

Sero burst out laughing, but it didn’t carry any humor in it. “I can’t believe it, you show up, unannounced, after ten years, and who do you want to see? Not the person you supposedly called your friend but the guy you couldn’t stand even though he did everything just to have you tolerate him!”

Sero’s words hurt more than Bakugo cared to admit. He opened his mouth to fight back but closed it again. This wasn’t the time to defend his choices, especially to Sero. “I get that you’re mad-”

“Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it!” Sero interrupted his face flushing. “You left everyone who cared about you behind like we were nothing for ten years! And now you’re suddenly back and think you can just weasel your way back in like nothing happened? Well, I’m not letting you. Either you leave willingly, or I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp, and an ambulance can take you away. How does that sound?”

Bakugo took a step back in shock. Sero had always been so laid back. He never let life get the best of him, and he certainly never snapped like this before. Thoughts ran through Bakugo’s mind, and Sero started to close the door. “No, wait!” Bakugo exclaimed, reaching forward and stopping the door with his hand, struggling against Sero to keep it open.

“Let go!” Sero seethed.

“Darling, who’s at the door?”

They stopped grappling for a moment as they turned to the new voice. Bakugo could barely see Todoroki behind Sero’s body, and Sero intended to keep it that way.

“It’s nobody,” Sero said, making direct eye contact with Bakugo, and he started to shut the door again.

“It’s me, you half and half bastard. Tell Sero to let me in!” Bakugo called in a last-ditch effort to see Todoroki.

Sero scowled as Todoroki walked to the door. He casually wrapped his arm around Sero’s waist as he peered over his shoulder. “Bakugo, what a surprise,” Todoroki said in his usual deadpan tone. “What brings you back to Japan?”

“Can I talk to you?” His eyes flickered to Sero’s disapproving face before returning to Todoroki’s. “Please?”

The pair stared at Bakugo before Todoroki nodded and opened the door.

“You can’t be serious?” Sero protested.

“Hanta, please, he’s my guest,” Todoroki said, gently pushing Sero aside and letting Bakugo enter. He did so awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Sero. “Follow me,” Todoroki whispered, walking past Bakugo only stopping to whisper something into Sero’s ear. He huffed but didn’t say anything else as Bakugo followed Todoroki.

“Can’t say I was expecting to see you today,” Todoroki said, pouring himself a glass of what looked like bourbon.

“I need to ask you something,” Bakugo said, shaking his head when Todoroki held out another glass.

“Only if you can promise to do something for me in return.”

Bakugo groaned. “Why do you always have to have a catch?”

“You showed up at our house unannounced after a decade of no contact. I think I have the right to ask you to do something for me in return.”

“Fine, what do you want?”

“I want you to talk to Hanta.”

“You can’t be serious?” Bakugo laughed a bit though he couldn’t find anything funny about the situation. “I’m more than sure that he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“He’s hurt and confused, but I know that he still misses you. So please just try to talk to him.”

“I can try, but I can’t promise that he’ll listen,” Bakugo said, shrugging.

Todoroki smiled, relieved, “That’s all I can ask for.” He took a sip then nodded at Bakugo as he leaned back in his chair. “So, what did you want to ask me?”

“How did you feel about Endeavor's death?”

Todoroki raised his eyebrows and shook his head, amused. “You have a lot of great traits. Subtly and tact are not some of them.”

“Can you just answer my question?”

“Do you want me to tell you the truth or just what you want to hear?”

“What?” Bakugo asked, taken aback.

“I can give you one of two answers. The truth of what happened, or I can tell you what you want to hear, and you can leave with the reassurance of a lie.”

He knew that he should’ve wanted, yet Bakugo couldn’t help but feel conflicted. It would be nice just to hear what he wanted, and then he could leave, wholeheartedly believing Todoroki. But no, if he wanted to be coddled, he would’ve gone to Midoriya. “The truth, I need to hear the truth.”

Todoroki nodded. “Well, Endeavor was a public figure, so my mourning was public, regardless of how I actually felt.”

“So you didn’t mourn his death?”

“I mourned that I couldn’t make myself mourn as much as I wanted.” Todoroki took a sip as he thought about his answer. “A tree can only bear so much fruit when it grows in damaged soil.”

“Right…” Bakugo muttered, not really paying attention to Todoroki’s metaphor.

“May I ask who… passed?” Todoroki asked, his tone uncertain.

“Mom,” Bakugo said, still not paying attention.

“I thought so.” Todoroki inhaled but didn’t say anything.

“What?”

“Are you going tell Hanta about your mother, or any of our friends for that matter?”

“No!” Bakugo said a little too quickly. “There’s no point. I’m leaving right after the funeral, so I don’t think I have time to see everyone.”

“If they’re important, you’ll make the time.”

“Are you going to tell him once I leave?”

“Not my place, but I still think you should. A tree that bears a little fruit is better than a tree that bears none.”

“What is it with you and tree metaphors?”

“I find that they’re helpful. Want me to write them down for you?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes and stood up. “No thanks, I need to get going.”

“Of course, I’ll show you out.”

Todoroki led Bakugo out, and Sero still stood near the front door, as if he never left his spot. Bakugo slowed, and he walked up to Sero. “Look, I wanted to talk and-”

“Save it,” Sero interrupted, holding up his hand. “I’m not interested in what you have to say to me.”

Bakugo inhale,d and his expression hardened as he turned his back to Sero and faced Todoroki. “I told you he wouldn’t listen.” He shrugged, pulling the door open and walking out into the fresh air.

“Hey, you got this,” Midoriya said, placing his hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. They had been sitting in Midoriya’s car for ten minutes as they stared at Bakugo’s childhood house.

“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say to him.”

“You just need to be there for him; that’ll matter more than saying the perfect thing.”

Bakugo nodded, but he didn’t take Midoriya’s words to heart. Instead, Bakugo let his head fall back against the headrest and closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he whispered. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. You just have to get out of the car!” Midoriya encouraged.

“Can you come inside with me?” Bakugo asked. He hated relying on Midoriya’s help, but he had no idea what to do. “I don’t want it to be awkward.” He added last minute.

“Yeah, yeah, I can come in with you,” Midoriya said after a minute of thought.

Bakugo nodded, then opened the car door and crossed the street. Midoriya trailed behind him, stood a few steps behind, and waited for Bakugo to knock on the door. Bakugo huffed then knocked on the door. As soon as he did, he wished that he could take it back. Walk back to the car and never come back to this house again. Masaru opened the door slowly and paused halfway, shocked at who he saw before him.

“Hey, dad…” Bakugo muttered, his eyes falling to his feet.

“Katsuki? Is that really you?” Masaru asked, his voice wavering.

Before Bakugo could respond, Masaru closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Bakugo. His body was shaking with sobs. Bakugo stood there, very uncomfortable, for longer than he should have before wrapping his own arms around his father.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Masaru whispered, then pulled back to let Katsuki breathe again. “Please, come on in, you too, Midoriya.”

Both of them entered, and it was like Bakugo was stepping back in time. Nothing about the house had changed, the furniture was in the same spot, all the photos were still up, even the end of the hall still had a missing lightbulb.

“Nothing’s seemed to have changed, has it?” Bakugo said absentmindedly, then slowed, realizing how ver,y very wrong he was.

“Yeah… house has pretty much stayed as is,” Masaru choked out, looking upwards and blinking rapidly to keep from crying again. “I can’t say I was expecting to see you here, Katsuki, but I’m delighted you came back home.”

It’s not like you even told me about mom. That was one of the things Bakugo couldn’t get out of his head. Why didn’t his own father tell him of his mother’s death? Did he think he wasn’t strong enough to do it? Or that Bakugo wouldn’t have come home? Or even cared? He wanted to ask so badly but knew that it would only cause problems, and that was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now.

Being with his dad was more painful than Bakugo thought it would be. It’s not that he didn’t love his father; he did, but grief emanated from his body in waves, and he could barely go two minutes without breaking down. Bakugo understood why he was like this. Losing a spouse was pain that he never intended to go through, and seeing it play out first hand only confirmed his beliefs further. Bakugo went to the kitchen to get Masaru some tea and pulled Midoriya with him.

“I don’t think I can do this for much longer,” He whispered. The admission of it made his stomach churn. Why did he have to be so selfish? His father needed him. Would it be so hard just to grit his teeth and push through it? But the more Bakugo thought about it, the less sure he became. “I want to be there for him, but-”

“I understand,” Midoriya said, cutting Bakugo off from his rant.

“You do?”

“Kacchan, your dad is not the only one grieving right now. He has his ways just like you have yours. If you need some space, I can stay here with him for a few hours while you clear your head.”

Bakugo looked at Midoriya and gave a tired smile. “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”

“Of course, I’ll tell him you went to pick up some groceries or something.”

Neither Masaru nor Bakugo needed groceries, but if that’s what Midoriya said Bakugo was doing, then that’s what Bakugo was going to do. He meandered through the aisle, putting random things into his basket, mostly frozen dinners or snacks for his dad. His sense of shame grew with each minute he spent in the store. What son abandoned his father during his time of mourning and need? Maybe Bakugo should’ve stayed in Scotland. At least there he wasn’t a disappointment.

Bakugo had taken less than five steps out of the store when someone came crashing into him, causing him to drop all of his groceries.

“Hey asshole, maybe you should watch where you’re-” Bakugo cut himself off when he saw who crashed into him. Shit…

Kaminari stared at him in shock, but it only lasted for a moment when his face split into the broadest grin Bakugo had ever seen before Kaminari dropped Bakugo’s groceries to wrap him in a bone-crushing hug.

“Oh my god, you’re back! Holy fucking shit, man I can’t believe you’re back home!” Kaminari screamed into Bakugo’s ear. He pulled back and began picking up the forgotten food, his entire body bounding with excitement. “Dude, what are you doing here?”

“I uh…” Bakugo trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“Hey, I’m still on the clock, but Kiri and I are gonna meet for lunch in about an hour; wanna join?”

Bakugo did not want to join. It’s not that he didn’t want to see Kirishima and Kaminari again, but having to deal with those two for god knows how long sounded exhausting. He didn’t want to abandon Midoriya even longer with his dad, but he knew that Kirishima and Kaminari would be pissed if Bakugo came back to Japan and didn’t even make time to catch up.

“Uh, sure?”

Kaminari didn’t even register Bakugo’s uneasiness as he pulled out his phone. “Awesome, I’ll text you the restaurant. What’s your number?”

Bakugo stared at Kaminari in confusion. “My number hasn’t changed.”

“Oh…” Kaminari said awkwardly. “I just thought- you haven’t texted in a while, so… you know what, never mind…” Kaminari trailed off, and they were left in an uncomfortable silence longer than Bakugo cared to admit. He felt the buzz of his phone and pulled it out to see Kaminari’s message. “Well, I’ll see you then,” Kaminari said, returning to his usual exuberance. “Chargebolt out!” As fast as he arrived, Kaminari rushed down the street again, leaving Bakugo alone with his groceries.

There was no reason for Bakugo to be nervous. It was Kirishima and Kaminari. They were his best friends. So was Sero… He arrived a few minutes late, and even then, he spent five minutes pacing in front of the door, debating whether he should go in. Eventually, he opened the doors and made his way over to where Kaminari was sitting.

He sat down at the edge of his seat, able to bolt the minute things became too unbearable. Kaminari didn’t even notice.

“There you are! Thought you might’ve dipped out on us!”

“Well, it’s not like I had better things to do.”

Kaminari laughed. “Yeah, I guess, so how are you? I can’t believe it’s been so long!”

“Fine,” Bakugo said shortly. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about himself right now.

“God, I can’t wait for Kiri to get here. He’s gonna be so surprised! I know that it was especially hard for him because of the whole madly in love with you thing and-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bakugo interrupted, cutting Kaminari off. “What did you just say?”

Kaminari realized what he said as his face paled as white as a ghost. “I mean- it’s not like he’s still in love with you, I think, it was a really long time ago and-”

Bakugo didn’t hear what else Kaminari was saying. He knew it was a mistake to come here. Standing up, he turned to leave and ran straight into Kirishima.

Bakugo hurriedly stepped back, and Kirishima froze when he looked down and caught sight of Bakugo. He awkwardly stood there as Kirishima continued to stare. He knew that Kaminari was talking but couldn’t make out a single word; his only focus was on Kirishima.

“You ass!” Kirishima finally said, leaning past Baugo to talk to Kaminari. “You knew he was in town but didn’t say anything?”

“I told you it was a good surprise.” Was all Kaminari responded with.

Kirishima rolled his eyes before returning his focus on Bakugo and enveloping him into a hug so tight he felt his back crack. Kirishima quickly let go but didn’t go to sit down. “Since when were you back in Japan? What are you even doing here? What’s been going on with you lately? How’s-”

“Slow down,” Bakugo interrupted, harsher than he meant to be. He sighed, then slid past Kirishima and took his seat between the two. “Sorry, it’s been a rough couple of days…”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima asked, taking his seat.

Bakugo opened his mouth then closed it again. Although he hadn’t planned on telling them about his mom, he still didn’t want to say anything. Bakugo knew that whatever normalcy that might be built during this conversation would die before even getting a fair shot at living, not that was even a possibility after what Kaminari just confessed.

“Nothing, just travel shit. Sitting on an airplane for fifteen hours isn’t very fun.”

Kaminari accepted his answer wholeheartedly, but Bakugo knew that Kirishima didn’t believe him. Kirishima eyed him for a moment longer than he should’ve before steering the conversation elsewhere.

“Ok, I’m about to ask you the worst small talk question you’ve ever heard. How are you?”

Bakugo smiled half-heartedly and rolled his eyes. “Good, I guess. What about you two?”

“Life is great, man! I mean, I’m number six on the hero charts. I have an amazing boyfriend and the cutest dog ever; I don’t know what else I could want!” Kaminari said, leaning back in his chair and resting his hands behind his head.

“Boyfriend? Who the hell puts up with you enough to let you call him boyfriend?”

“Very funny, Bakugo,” Kaminari sneered. “You remember Shinsou? After we graduated, we started talking more, and now we’ve been dating for the past two years.”

“Hey, did you hear about Todoroki? Him and Sero-” Kirishima said all of a sudden.

“Married, yeah, I saw them last night,” Bakugo interjected.

“Damn, Sero let you in, seriously?”

“No, not really. I more went to see Todoroki than him anyway,” Bakugo admitted.

Kaminari and Kirishima shared a look that Bakugo couldn’t decipher but quickly overlooked it. He knew how bad it sounded that the first person Bakugo wanted to see after returning to Japan after a decade was someone he hated back in high school, but he didn’t need to explain his reasoning to anybody.

“What’s been going on with you?” Bakugo asked suddenly, turning towards Kirishima.

“Oh uh, I mean nothing much really… I’m still working at Fat’s agency. Honestly, my life is kinda boring compared to everyone else’s.” Kirishima cleared his throat and began to pat his legs rhythmically, his eyes darting around the restaurant as if he were looking for the next thing to say.

“What about you, man?” Kaminari asked Bakugo, even though his eyes were still on Kirishima. “How’s life in Scotland treating ya?”

“Uh, good,” He said, snapping his focus back to Kaminari. “I’m number three in the charts, and my agency’s been going pretty strong and-”

“Hold up,” Kirishima interrupted. “You have your own agency? Since when?”

“Oh uh…” Bakugo closed his eyes as he thought. “I think I started it six years ago.”

“You started your own agency at twenty-one?” Kaminari asked in disbelief. “In two years, you went from being a sidekick to starting an agency, how did that happen?”

“I don’t know, lots of hard work, I guess,” Bakugo said defensively. He didn’t know why he was angry, but he could feel his patience running thin. “It’s just an agency. People start those all the time.”

“Maybe, but not usually at twenty-one,” Kaminari said.

“And especially after moving halfway across the world,” Kirishima added. Bakugo tried to figure out the meaning behind Kirishima’s words because he could hear the resentment in Kirishima’s tone. Kirishima must’ve heard it too because he quickly back-peddled. “You know most people start agencies in their home country because they already know all the heroes and the citizens that need protecting…”

“Right…” Bakugo muttered, crossing his arms. The three fell into silence, none of them looking at each other for more than a few seconds. He couldn’t do this anymore. Coming here was a mistake. He pulled out his phone and pretended to read it as if he got a text message. “Hey, sorry, I have to leave early. Dad needs me at home for something.” And without barely saying goodbye, Bakugo stood up and rushed out of the restaurant.

The next few days were some of the most painful days. A constant stream of guests filtered through the house, and they all wanted to speak to him, to send their condolences and promises that they were there if he needed someone to talk to. But those moments weren’t nearly as bad as when Bakugo and Masaru were alone. Neither of them knew what to talk about, so they resorted to awkwardly dancing around each other if they happened to be in the same room. The longer he stayed in Japan, the more useless he felt, but soon, it would all be over. The funeral was tomorrow, and his plane home the day after, and Bakugo couldn’t wait for all of this to be over.

Bakugo was about to head to the florist to do one last check-in before the funeral when Masaru stopped him.

“Here,” he said, handing Bakugo a small sheet of paper.

“What is this?”

“It’s a speech. I know those weren’t your strong suit, so I thought I would write one for you.”

Bakugo scanned the paper, his blood boiling with each word he read. “You can’t be serious,” He laughed, though there wasn’t any humor in it.

“Of course I’m serious. It’s your mother-”

“No!” Bakugo interrupted. “Look, I’ll show up to the funeral and not cause a scene, but praise her for being a great mom? Absolutely not! Not after how she treated me for all those years!”

“Katsuki, do not talk about her this way!”

“You mean the truth? You might have loved her and all, and hell, maybe she was a good wife, but she was not a good mother, and I am not going to stand up in front of everyone and say that she was!” Bakugo’s breathing was becoming uneven, and it took all of his willpower to keep himself from crying.

“If you’re not going to honor her, then why are you even here?”

“Because of you! Because I knew that your weak little heart couldn’t do this alone and that you would need me, but I guess I was wrong since you didn’t even bother to tell me that she died! What father doesn’t even tell his son that his mom’s dead?” His whole body was shaking with rage, and he closed his eyes. In for four, hold for two, then release for eight. In for four, hold for two. then release for eight. He repeated this several more times before opening his eyes again. “None of this was for her,” He muttered. His voice was hollow and defeated.

Masaru wiped the tears from his eyes and snatched the paper from Bakugo. “Then it looks like your job here is done.”

“What?”

“Thank you for helping me arrange all the details, but now that it’s all taken care of, I don’t see a reason for you to attend anymore.”

Bakugo’s brow furrowed as Masaru’s words sunk in. “Fine, if you don’t want me there, I won’t show up. It’ll give me much-needed time to pack.”

“I hope you have a safe flight back to Scotland,” Masaru said, returning to the house and slamming the door behind him. The noise caused Bakugo to flinch, and he stood outside the door for longer than he should have, still stunned at their conversation.

The rest of the day was a blur. His body went on autopilot. Moving from one spot to another, never really taking in his surroundings or even what he was doing. One moment he was standing outside his childhood home, early afternoon rays still burning across his back, and the next, he was sitting on a swing in a random park, his body slowly rocking back and forth as he drank from the cheapest bottle of alcohol he could find. It tasted like ass but as long as it would help him forget this shitty day, he didn’t care what it tasted like.

He heard someone walk towards him and sit down at the swing next to him, but Bakugo didn’t even raise his head and continued to drink.

“You know I could have you arrested for public intoxication?” Kirishima said, half-jokingly.

“Go ahead. What’s stopping you?”

Kirishima didn’t say anything, and Bakugo finally met his gaze. However, Kirishima continued to stare at him in bewilderment. “The Bakugo I knew would never say something like that.”

“Yeah, well, how well can you know someone after ten years?”

“Well, who’s fault is that?”

They sat in silence, Kirishima watching Bakugo and Bakugo watching the clouds slowly roll across the sky. “Why are you even here?”

“Midoriya called me and asked if I could find you. Apparently, you haven’t been answering your phone all day.”

At that, Bakugo pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on, cringing at the string of text messages and missed calls from Midoriya. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. “Well, you found me. You can go back home or whatever.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone, especially now…”

Bakugo stared at Kirishima, puzzled at his words. When it finally clicked, he cursed at himself. “Midoriya told you, didn’t he?”

“He thought I already knew,” Kirishima said, turning to Bakugo. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s none of your business!” Bakugo shouted. He stood up enraged. “I don’t need your pity or your sympathy. I don’t need anyone's! I just wanted to get all of this stupid shit over so that I can go home, but of course, it can never be that easy!” His breathing was becoming ragged again, and he closed his eyes to try and control it.

“Why did you come back?” Kirishima asked, his voice so quiet Bakugo almost missed it entirely. “I know you didn’t really have the strongest feelings for your mom, so why are you back?”

Bakugo opened his mouth to respond but closed it again, instead returning to his swing next to Kirishima. So they sat in silence, Bakugo trying to come up with a decent answer and Kirishima waiting for him to speak, but there was nothing except for the sounds of birds or distant whirrings that always arise from cities.

“I don’t know,” Bakugo admitted, finally. “I guess it was because I felt like I had to. Everyone expected me there, so I showed up.” He shrugged his shoulders halfheartedly. “Maybe a small part of me wanted to miss her, you know I’d come back, and suddenly I’d realize how wrong I was and that I was stupid for not fixing things before but… I just can’t force myself to miss her, to love her.” Bakugo stared down at the bottle he was holding, waiting for the tears to fall, but his eyes remained dry.

Kirishima sighed, then stood up, holding his hand out in front of Bakugo. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Bakugo said, taking his hand and standing up.

“My place, you need to sober up before the funeral tomorrow.”

Bakugo laughed. “You’re wasting your time; no need to be sober to an event I’m not going to.”

Kirishima slowed and turned back to Bakugo. “You’re not going? But wasn’t that the entire reason you came back at all?”

“Yeah, well dad said otherwise, so I’ll just spend the day packing or whatever,” Bakugo shrugged, wishing that his dad’s final words hadn’t hurt as much as they did.

“You know, we could always spend the day together. Just hang out like we used to.”

Bakugo was unsure of what to say. Of course, hanging out with Kirishima would be more enjoyable than sitting alone in a hotel room all day, but Kaminari’s words returned to him. What if Kirishima was still in love with him? What would he think if Bakugo said yes? He didn’t want to give him hope that he was coming back because he didn’t think he ever would.

“I don’t know…” Bakugo muttered, scratching the back of his neck. He pursed his lips and looked down at his feet, not wanting to make eye contact with Kirishima because he knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from asking.

“No worries, man,” Kirishima said with a soft smile. “Come on, let’s go back to my place so you can get some rest.”

He was about to protest but stopped himself. He didn’t want to spend the night alone in a hotel room, especially when he was drunk. So he silently nodded, and they made their way out of the park to Kirishima’s place.

Bakugo didn’t know what he expected from Kirishima’s apartment, maybe just his dorm room scaled to fit the entire house, but when Kirishima unlocked the door and stepped in, Bakguo was taken aback by what he saw. The apartment was lightly decorated, basic furniture all in a light tan color that coordinated with the wood accents. A TV hung on one wall, and some bookshelves took up another. In addition, Bakugo could see a modest kitchen with an island with a flower vase. All in all, it was charming and very un-Kirishima.

“Never in my life did I think you’d live in a place this nice,” Bakugo commented, taking his shoes off and putting on the slippers that Kirishima handed him.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Kirishima asked, laughing.

“I don’t know. I think I just expected your place to look like your dorm back in high school.”

“Ok, my dorm was awesome first off.” He said, holding up a finger to Bakugo. Kirishima stared at him, and his smile seemed to falter a bit. “But that’s just not who I am anymore.”

They settled into another awkward silence, and neither of them could look at the other for more than a second before turning away. It wasn’t a surprise that Kirishima was the first one to speak. “Here, I’ll show you to the guest room.” Bakugo followed Kirishima silently as he led him through the apartment, only stopping when they reached the door. “Are you gonna go straight to bed? I know you like to keep that eight-thirty bedtime most nights.”

“I’ll have you know I go to bed at nine-thirty now.”

“Wow, such a night owl!”

They both laughed and then fell into stillness again. Bakugo turned to head into the guest room and was about to close the door when he stopped himself. “Hey, can I ask you a weird question?”

“Of course, man, what’s up?”

“When we’d all met for lunch… Kaminari said that you used to be in love with me, and I wondered if that was true…” Bakugo knew when he asked that he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Kirishima was immediately set on edge, and his gaze fell to the floor, but Bakugo could still see his face was as red as a tomato. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m-” He started to close the door, but Kirishima stopped him.

“No, wait!” Kirishima laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that…”

Bakugo waited for Kirishima to regain his composure, unsure if he wanted to say something himself.

“I um…” Kirishima sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I used to be madly in love with you.”

Bakugo stood there, shocked. He knew that he wasn’t the most perceptive person when it came to others’ feelings, but Kirishima wasn’t exactly the definition of subtly. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Now it was Kirishima’s turn to look dumbfounded. “Because admitting your feelings is terrifying, especially when it comes to you because half the time, I never knew what you were thinking or feeling. I didn’t want to end up hurt, and then it didn’t matter because you were moving halfway across the world.” Kirishima shrugged his shoulders, defeated. “And I knew that there was a high chance you were never coming back.”

“Still, you should’ve said something,” Bakugo stuttered.

“Why? Would it have changed your mind? If I had confessed, would you have stayed? Would you have tried to convince me to come with?”

Bakugo opened his mouth, but no words left his lips. Instead, his gaze fell to the floor and crossed his arms over his body to shield himself from the unintended consequences of his actions.

“Exactly,” Kirishima said, even though Bakugo hadn’t said anything. “Look, I’m not mad at you, seriously. Sure it hurt at the time, but I’ve moved on, so you don’t need to beat yourself up over this.”

“I just can’t believe you felt that way towards me.”

Kirishima paused. A clear question hanging on his lips, he closed his eyes and inhaled slowly before releasing the breath. “Did- did you feel the same way?”

Bakugo’s eyes flickered up to Kirishima before returning to the floor. “I care about you a lot-

“That’s not what I asked,” Kirishima interrupted.

“I know.” Finally, Bakugo looked Kirishima in the eye. He deserved that much. “No,” He whispered. “Maybe I could’ve if I’d stayed but-”

“That’s not how things worked out,” Kirishima finished for him, and Bakugo nodded his head in agreement. As they stared at each other, Bakugo couldn’t help but notice the clock ticking behind Kirishima, hyper-focusing on the sound. Tick, tick, tick, tick.

Bakugo shook his head suddenly, snapping him back to reality. “I think I’m gonna head to bed,” He said, his voice halting and uneven.

“Yeah, of course,” Kirishima said, nodding. “Have a good night.” And without saying another word, Kirishima turned and headed into his room, closing the door behind him.

A pounding headache greeted Bakugo as soon as he woke up. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless. Whether he wanted to or not, he had to suffer through today. Groaning, he cracked one eye open and shifted to his side. A glass of water and some tablets sat on the nightstand and a note.

Have to leave early cause of work but if you need me don’t hesitate to call
~Kiri

Bakugo flipped it over to see if anything was written on the back, then set it down again as he reached for the water and tablets, gulping them down. The pounding decreased, but he knew that the only thing that would truly make the hangover disappear was time.

He meandered through the apartment, looking at it more closely now that Kirishima was gone. One of the pictures on his shelf caught Bakugo’s eye. It must’ve been recent as Kirishima’s hair was past his shoulders in the photograph. The whole group was together at some coffee shop, all squeezing into frame as Kirishima took the picture, but what caught his eye was the upper right-hand corner. It was him, back during his third year or shortly after graduation. He was scowling as he did in most pictures, but there was just the hint of a smile if you looked close enough. Bakugo’s smile fell the longer he looked at the picture, everyone was still together, everyone except him, and nothing reminded him more of that than what he held in his hand.

Bakugo shook his head suddenly and hastily returned the picture to its place. He knew the ramifications of his decisions, and he knew that leaving meant letting everyone go. Why couldn’t they just let him go, though?

The apartment felt stifling suddenly, and Bakugo was having trouble breathing. He stumbled to the guest room and snatched his phone off the nightstand, doing one final sweep to see if he forgot anything, and then quickly left without a backward glance.

Bakugo had never felt so adrift in his entire life. As he walked around the city, he wasn’t fully aware of himself. Aimlessly drifting from place to place so his mind would never have time to settle and think about what today was. But try as he might, funeral played over and over in his head.

The sun was setting on the horizon when Bakugo finally had dared to enter the cemetery. The funeral had ended hours ago, and Bakugo suspected that Masaru was now entertaining a small gathering for their family and close friends. Did anyone wonder where he was today? Did anyone even care?

Making his way through the graves, he stopped short when he caught sight of his family tombstone. He crept along, but there was nobody to hear his footsteps. When he finally made it to the tombstone, Bakugo couldn’t help but glower at it. He knew that it was pointless. No matter how many faces he made, his mother couldn’t say anything about it. Bakugo looked over his shoulder then sat an arm’s length away from the tomb, unable to be closer to her. He stared silently, still unsure why he was even here in the first place. Bakugo inhaled shallowly.

“I bet you’re surprised to see me, huh?” Bakugo laughed humorlessly. “If I’m being honest, I’m kinda surprised that I’m here.” Bakugo glanced at the headstone, but the only sounds he heard were the soft rusting of the trees and distant bird song.

“Just so you know, I didn’t come back for you,” Bakugo bit. “It- it was just for dad, but it just ended up being a waste of time. I don’t know why I expected anything else. He always took your side.” His eyes began to drift as he continued to speak. “Whether it was my grades, attitude, friends, hobbies, it was never good enough for you. I turned out exactly like you, and you hated it, hated me!”

Bakugo could feel tears welling in his eyes, and he hastily swiped them away. “I tried for so long to be perfect. I went days without sleep, barely eating if it meant a few extra minutes studying or training just so that you’d be proud.” Bakugo paused, his eyes slowly drifting back to the headstone. “Were you ever proud of me?”

The silence angered him, and this time when the tears fell. He did nothing to stop them. Instead, he stood up and started pacing in front of the tomb, unable to sit still anymore. “Why wasn’t I ever good enough for you? I worked my ass off day and night for years! I got into the best damn school in the country, I was top of my class, I graduated with honors, and now I’m number three in the hero charts, and I even run my own fucking agency! But that doesn’t matter, does it? I’ll never be more than some pretentious fuck up with an attitude problem? Well, guess fucking what! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Bakugo let out a guttural scream and fell to his knees; his whole body was wracked with sobs as he finally let himself mourn for what he had lost. Just as Todoroki said, he didn’t miss his mom. He didn’t think he ever actually could. But he missed all that could’ve been. All the “good jobs” and “I love ya kiddos” and even the “you tried your best” because even if he failed, he knew that there would always be someone to support him and comfort him.

He felt a weight on his shoulder, and he turned into his father, accepting the hug without question. Masaru’s arms wrapped around Bakugo, and he said nothing as he gently rocked both of them while Bakugo continued to sob. His father’s cologne was more comfort to Bakugo than he ever realized. He can’t lose this. He can’t make the same mistake twice.

“Dad, I’m-” Bakugo choked, but his father interrupted him softly.

“You don’t need to say anything, kiddo, ok?” He murmured, his fingers brushing away the hair from Bakugo’s face then pulling him into an even tighter hug.

“Thanks for the ride,” Bakugo said, turning towards Midoriya.

“Of course, you’ll text me when you land, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you. See ya,” Bakugo said, stepping out of the car and grabbing his suitcase.

He entered the airport and began to fish for his headphones. There was no way in hell he would survive a fifteen and a half hour flight without his headphones. “God fucking damn it,” He muttered, ripping his backpack open and digging through it.

“Just as fast as you arrive, that’s how fast you’re leaving.”

Bakugo whittled around to see Sero staring at him, his arms crossed and his expression unamused.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Sero rolled his eyes. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”

“Seriously? Right now? My flight’s about to leave!”

“Well, then you better make it quick!”

“Fine, but if you’re expecting an apology, then you should just leave now because you’re not getting one.”

“Of course, because when do you ever apologize?” Sero laughed humorously.

“Well, what do you want me to say? I did what was best for me, and I don’t regret that for a second!”

“Right, because when do you ever factor in other people’s feelings?”

“What is your problem with me?”

“We were friends, Bakugo! Or at least I thought we were. I know that we weren’t that close, not like you were with Kirishima, but then suddenly you’re leaving, and you didn’t even think to tell us until the day of your flight!” Sero looked at him; his pain was evident. “Did you even care about us at all?”

“Of course I did. You guys think it was easy, don’t you? Leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I knew that I couldn’t stay here and that if I did, it would end up killing me!” Bakugo let his head drop as he shook it to clear the oncoming headache. “I didn’t know how to tell you guys because I knew this would be the reaction.”

“So you thought the best thing to do was just leave and never talk to us again? Why didn’t you even try and reach out to us?”

“It’s not like you guys tried to reach out either! We grew apart. Sometimes that happens.”

“No, you left. Ashido, Kaminari, Kirishima, and I have all managed to stay in touch as well as the rest of our classmates. You decided that we weren’t worth it.”

“Is this what you came here to do? Berate me and shame me for my decisions?”

“I came here to make you understand how much you fucked up, Bakugo. Whether you meant to or not, you hurt us when you left, and I thought that with you coming back, that meant you were trying to fix things, but I was wrong.” Sero turned to leave, but Bakugo wasn’t done with him yet. Screw missing his flight. He was going to fix this here and now.

“How can I fix things when you don’t even let me?” Bakugo shouted after him.

Sero stopped and stalked back towards Bakugo. “You want to fix things?” Sero asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, if I can. If you’ll let me.”

Sero stared at him, his eyes narrowed. Bakugo stared right back.

“I will give you one chance to make this right, got it?” Sero said, finally.

“Alright, but I have to go.” Bakugo looked at his phone and realized how much he was pushing it when it came to making his flight. He paused, unsure of what he should say, Sero only stared and crossed his arms. “I’ll text you when my flight lands?”

Sero sighed, then nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”

Bakugo turned but quickly turned back. “Look, if you ever find yourself or any of our friends in Scotland…don’t be afraid to look me up.”

Sero looked at him quizzically, then nodded slowly. “I’ll keep that in mind and let them know you said that.”

“Thanks,” Bakugo practically whispered.

“I won’t keep you any longer, have a safe flight,” Sero said, turning on his heel and walking out of the airport.

Bakugo watched him go, then slowly released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, then turned the opposite way and headed towards his gate.