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"Hide... No."
"Kaneki, yes. Come on, I don't see why you're so against it. I need to be able to defend myself, at least a little."
"You don't," Kaneki says vehemently, widening his eyes. Panic wells up in him when he imagines Hide trying to square up against a ghoul — his Hide; pure and human Hide and God the image is so wrong that Kaneki feels the restless urge to rip something to bloody pieces. "I told you that I'd protect you. You... you don't need to get involved any further in this."
"I'm already involved enough. It's just a little self-defense, so I can hold out until you get there if something ever happens," Hide reasons, grabbing Kaneki's hand before he can start breaking his own fingers in anxiety.
Kaneki actually sees the reasoning behind it, but he's still resistant. The reality is, he simply abhors the thought of harming Hide in any way, even if it were just for training. He's only good at holding back his strength in things other than physical combat. Not to mention, his previous sparring partners were... sturdier, to say the least. He flashes back to tossing Banjou off the side of a building and winces.
"I don't like it," he mutters finally.
The spark of sly mischief in Hide's big brown eyes has Kaneki narrowing his own. He can already feel himself losing this fight like he'd lost so many others to those eyes.
The blonde shrugs, leans back against the couch with careless ease. "I guess I'll just ask Touka-chan. Or maybe Nishio-senpai would be willing to — "
Kaneki cracks his finger violently. "I'll do it. Don't ask anyone else."
"Yes!" Hide pumps his fist victoriously, and Kaneki has to count down from 1000 to calm himself down. This can't go too badly... Right?
Wrong.
"I don't know why I agreed to this."
Currently pinned to the floor for the nth time, Hide smiles sheepishly up at him.
"Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the view."
Kaneki rolls his eyes. He holds Hide's wrists down with one hand, his other planted beside the blonde head on the mat. He'd double-layered it, paranoid about Hide getting too banged up but his worries were for naught. The bruises are a given, no matter what precautions he could've taken.
What more, this so called 'training' had thus far only served to remind Kaneki of the vast disparity between their strengths. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to seeing Hide as something fragile.
"Let's stop. This is pointless. You're going to be black and blue by tomorrow."
"Okay, let's stop," Hide agrees.
Too easily, in Kaneki's opinion. He squints suspiciously. "... Really?"
"Yeah! Besides, I'm kinda in the mood to do something else now, if you know what I mean." Hide wriggles his hips for emphasis, the action dragging their groins together and making Kaneki bite his lip to stifle a moan.
It takes a moment, but red eventually travels up to Kaneki's face, and if his hands had been free, he'd surely be covering it in mortification. "That. What was that," he manages out.
It's a small consolation that Hide's face is likewise tomato-hued. "Sorry. Couldn't help myself," he says with a small laugh. "It's just... You look really good in that tank top."
Kaneki blinks.
"Yeah! I mean, I knew you got ripped from all that fighting you do all the time and all the working out, but I didn't think..." Hide trails off embarrassedly, fidgeting a little in a way that Kaneki's mind can't help but scream, holyshithe'scute.
Feeling a rush of pleasure — that Hide could still look at him and see something desirable; look at him and see something other than a monster — he finally lets go of the blonde's wrists to bury his face in the crook of Hide's neck. Even this close, under the initial ghoulish instinct that screams 'food!', Hide's scent is underlying that of something warm and gentle and home.
Kaneki wonders why he ever ran away from it — the one thing he still had.
"Kaneki...?" Hide asks tentatively, wondering if he'd said something wrong.
Kaneki draws back to look at him. How many times had he seen these warm brown eyes? How many times had he dreamed that they'd turn away from him, hate him, or worse — fade away? And...
How many times would he continue to force Hide to prove him wrong?
"I'm sorry," he chokes out. He's not crying. He can't remember the last time he'd cried, but there's a familiar hollowed out feeling inside that can only be sated by sunshine. Copious amounts of it.
"Why? I'm fine. Just a little bruising and soreness." Hide pats his hand gently at white bangs, perplexed at the sudden change in mood. "And I asked for this, remember? ... Come on, look at me, Kaneki. What's the matter?" he coaxes.
"Do you... Are you..." Kaneki struggles to find the words, even now, fearful of rejection.
But as always, Hide seems to know. How does he always know?
Smile gentle and a little rueful, Hide curves his hand around the juncture of Kaneki's neck.
"Yeah. I'm in love with you, you big nerd. I hate that you're unpredictable and sad, and that you always think you have to do everything on your own. I hate that look in your eyes when you think no one's looking. But I am. In love with you. I have been for ages and it took you damn long enough to figure it out. So stop staring 'cause it's making me feel like an idiot and just hurry up and kiss me already — "
Kaneki does. He leans down, and with all the aggressive finesse he's saved for battle and the viciousness of his protective nature, Kaneki all but devours Hide with clashing teeth and probing tongue. And with the blonde a panting mess beneath him, all Kaneki can think is, 'mine'.
"While I'm... all for doing this now..." Hide manages out while Kaneki is sucking a column of red down his throat, blackened nails digging into Hide's waist. "Maybe... we should take this somewhere more... private?"
Kaneki pauses to let out a breathless laugh. "Right. Yeah." He stands, offering a hand to Hide, who pouts and refuses to take it.
"I let you throw me around all afternoon — "
"Let me — "
"— And I think I deserve to be spoiled," Hide concludes with a grin, holding out his arms.
Kaneki only stares for a second before conceding defeat. He pulls Hide into his arms — too effortlessly, Hide notes, a little put out — but there's something burning in his grey eyes that have Hide swallowing anything gloating he'd been about to say, tight and loud.
"Happy now?" Kaneki asks, voice low.
Looping his arms around Kaneki's neck and pressing his forehead to his throat, Hide smiles against warm skin. "The happiest man alive."
Their trek up to Kaneki's bedroom is interrupted numerous times with Hide trying his best to distract him by nibbling at his earlobe and stroking his hands up and down Kaneki's shoulder blades, and when they finally make it, Kaneki kicks the door shut behind him and sets Hide down on the bed. Hide reaches up; pulls Kaneki down with him before he can second-guess himself and they land in a tangled heap of limbs.
Kaneki digs his fingers into sharp hipbones, the expression on his face more raw and vulnerable than Hide had ever seen it. "Hide."
He basks in the warmth of Hide's answering smile. "Shh. Don't think. Just do."
And Kaneki bends down, presses his lips against sushine and home, and does just that.
extra:
"Sooooo, I believe it's time you thanked me for my great idea," Hide says the next morning, tangled up in white bed sheets with tufts of honey-blonde hair peeking out of his cocoon.
Kaneki stares at him. "You're a giant bruise right now."
"A sexy giant bruise," Hide corrects. "A sexy giant bruise that you sexed up just a couple of hours ago. Or do I need to remind you about how naked I am — "
Kaneki makes a loud sound at the back of his throat and pulls his pillow over his face. "Hide, I love you to death, but please go to sleep."
"You weren't saying that last night — "
"Hide!"
fin.