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OCTOBER 21ST -
Every year, your mind and body felt heavy as you opened your eyes. Taking in a deep breath, you willed your eyes to hold back their tears as you got ready for a day of work. Even twenty-five years later, your heart still stung as much as the night you found out. It felt as though everywhere you looked, there seemed to be a reminder of him.
A hot dog vendor on the street, a boy with floppy, brown hair playing guitar on the corner, but the thing that drew the line for you was Trevor fucking Wilson’s ‘song’ on the radio as you drove to work. Ever since that fateful night you had fought with ‘Trevor’ over the rights to the songs, eventually losing the battle. It broke your heart to hear him receive undeserved credit for the song, so you quickly shut off the radio, content to mull over your thoughts for the rest of the drive.
All day at work, you existed in a daze – mind back in the 90’s and in that garage you spent so much time in that it felt like home. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that you allowed yourself to open the box of his things: an old shirt of his, stubs to movies and concerts you saw together, and with shaky hands, you pulled out a pile of polaroids.
“Oh, Luke. Why did you have to leave?” you whispered as the tears finally fell down your cheeks.
Looking through the pictures brought a smile to your face at the same time your heart clenched in grief. From childhood to rockstar, you and Luke had always been a part of each other’s lives. When he was upset with the world and with his parents, it was you that he turned to. When you needed comfort or a corny joke, you knew that Luke would always have your back. The last picture you have of the two of you, show you goofing off in Sunset Curve’s old garage – neither of you realizing how short your time together would be.
For a moment, you felt a cool breeze brush against your shoulder. Turning around, you gasped, but saw nothing there except thin air. With a shake of your head, you chalked it up as a figment of your imagination. Your emotions were running high, and you weren’t in a state to be judging reality. Sighing, you realized it was time to head over to Mitch’s and Emily’s, but before you left, you gazed at the polaroid one last time, lightly kissing the glossy film before tucking the box away for another year.
Not long after you arrived, Emily lit the singular candle on the birthday cake, and you tried to keep your tears at bay. It had been twenty-five years since Luke had been alive for a birthday, and it still ached just as much as the first year. Right as you, Emily, and Mitch were about to blow out the candle, you felt a calm presence behind you before the flame was extinguished as if the wind had snuck through the sealed window.
Spinning around, you swore it had felt like someone had been there – just like the feeling you got earlier in the day. The click of the lighter brought you back to the moment, and you leaned forward once more, closing your eyes. As you blew the candle out for Luke, you couldn’t help but make a wish.
“Please, just let me know that you’re okay, wherever you are, Luke.”
Quietly, the three of you took small bites of the chocolate cake, not really knowing what to say. The ring of the doorbell caught your attention. “I’ll get it.” you offered, glad for something to keep your mind and your hands busy.
What you weren’t expecting was a young girl on the other side, two pieces of paper gripped in her hands. “Hello, can I help you?” you asked with a soft smile.
“Is this the Patterson house?” she asked carefully.
“Yes, it is. I’m y/n, but Mitch and Emily are inside. And you are?” you asked.
Eyes widening slightly, the girl shook her head before sticking out her hand. “I’m Julie Molina. Did you know a boy named Luke?”
Your breath was taken out of your chest when she asked the question, and all you could do was nod. On all days, what were the chances that someone who claimed to know something about Luke magically appeared on the Patterson’s front steps. Shaking yourself out of your daze, you called out for Mitch and Emily before inviting Julie inside.
Taking a step back, you watched on as Julie explained who she was and where she lived – claiming she had found a bunch of Luke’s old things. It was difficult not to break down watching as Julie handed Emily a song Luke wrote for her, unknowingly giving Emily the peace, she had been searching for the past twenty-five years.
Suddenly moving to approach you, Julie stopped in front of you, offering a tentative smile. “I think this song is for you, y/n.” Julie said, handing you the second piece of paper she had brought with her. “I also found it with Luke’s things. I think he would want you to have it.”
With shaky hands, you glanced down at the paper and chuckled when you immediately recognized the messy, slanted writing that could only belong to Luke.
Reading through the song brought back every memory – the good ones and the bad ones – you had with Luke. His poetic words spun a story of how resilient your love was, even though all the challenges. He sung about how you changed his world and made him a better person. He also wrote about how, even at 17, he knew you were his one and only. At the end of the song, there was a messy scrawl in Luke’s writing:
to my best friend and love of my life, y/n
Holding that paper made you feel as though Luke was standing right behind you, bringing you the comfort you so desperately needed on that day. Overwhelmed by all the emotions, you smiled thankfully at Julie before excusing yourself, taking a step outside. Once you were alone, you let out a shaky breath, leaned against the cool, brick siding, and let the tears run down your face.
“Don’t cry, beautiful.” a voice whispered, and you thought you were hallucinating.
Glancing up, you let out a loud shriek when right before you stood Luke Patterson, just as handsome as the last time you had seen him 25 years ago.
“Everything alright, dear?” Emily asked leaning outside.
You looked between the spot where Luke was and the door that Emily stood in, realizing she could not see whatever image your mind had conjured up. “Yeah, sorry. Thought I saw a mouse.” you lied, offering a faux smile until she went indoors.
Turning back around, you braced yourself to be meant with thin air once more, but there Luke still stood. “Luke?” you whispered, not trusting your own voice. “Am-am I hallucinating?”
“No, no. It’s really me.” Luke rushed to reassure you, taking a few steps closer to you. “I can’t believe I get to see you again.” he admitted, running a hand through his messy hair.
“How can you be here?” you asked, still trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.
“Well, uh, I’m a ghost.” he chuckled, looking up at you through his doe eyes sheepishly. “Julie found us one day when she listened to our CD, and here I am. Oh, Alex and Reggie are ghosts too.”
A laugh bubbled out of your chest, eyes staying misty as you thought about the two, sweet boys that had been your close friends. “I can’t believe you’re really here.” you breathed out, taking yet another step closer.
“I can’t believe you can see me.” Luke admitted. “So far, Julie has been the only one who can see us.”
Reaching out, you moved to grasp Luke’s hand, only to be met with cool air. Face falling, you looked into Luke’s eyes and noticed the disappointment.
“And that still makes no one who can make contact with us.” he mumbled, sitting down on the stone patio.
You took a moment to watch the boy in front of you, heart aching over how he hadn’t changed at all. To his inflection, his mannerisms, even his looks. “You look like you haven’t aged a day.” you said, taking a seat next to the ghost of your former boyfriend, suddenly very insecure about the way you looked. The last time Luke had seen you, you had been twenty-five years younger and no traces of grey hair or aging wrinkles.
“Can’t say the same for you.” he teased, wanting to bump your shoulder as he used to. “But seriously, y/n, you’re still the most beautiful person to me.”
There was a moment of silence, neither of you knowing how to handle the situation you found yourselves in. “I’m so sorry, Luke.” you finally spoke, shoulders shaking as the tears fell once more. “I tried to stop Bobby from taking those songs as his own. I screamed and I fought, but he would never listen to me. I just wanted this world to remember Reggie, Alex, and you.” you confessed, arms wrapped around yourself.
Luke moved on instinct to wrap his arms around you, sighing when his arm fell through your body again. “Please don’t cry, babe.” he comforted as if no time had passed. “I mean, yeah, we were mad when we found out what Bobby did, but it doesn’t matter. The fact that you even fought against him makes me so proud. I know you want to make things right, but we’re making music again with Julie, people can hear us sing.” he explained, a smile taking over his features. “The only thing I want is for you to be happy and to let go.” Luke told you, eyes, and voice serious.
“I don’t know if I can do that.” you admitted. “But I’ll try for you.” you added on, offering a watery smile in return. “It’s a beautiful song.” you told him after a minute, holding up the sheet of lyrics you had yet to let go.
Luke blushed but smiled none the less. “I meant every word. My best friend and the love of my life – I’ll always love you.” he told you.
“And I’ll always love you.” you professed, closing your eyes as he stepped forward to press a kiss to your forehead.
Although you couldn’t feel the warmth of his lips, you felt his presence bring a comfort to you that you hadn’t known for a long time. When you opened your eyes again, Luke was gone, but it didn’t hurt like you thought it would.
“Happy Birthday, Luke.” you whispered into the air, song clutched to your chest – a new reminder of your promise to Luke.