Archive of Our Own ^beta

one.

Seungmin once thought that love was a beautiful thing. Love was colorful — It was not just a pretty pink or a happy yellow, it had sad blues and jealous greens, and when the colors all mixed together, it would come out either black or white. For Seungmin and his past lover, it came out white. It was pure, young, and carefree. Maybe that was the problem, because at the end of it all, barely a year into marriage, the colors came out black — empty and devoid of everything. 

So now, he can’t look at love the same way anymore. Not after he lost the one true (or was it untrue?) love from almost a decade ago. 

Han Jisung. He was a beautiful thing. He radiated with a pretty pink and a happy yellow, it was only natural for Seungmin to fall in love with him at such a young age. They were young and reckless, but they were full of colorful love. They tied the knot right as they graduated high school. It was a promise of forever, but when they grew out of their teens and turned twenty, the promise was long forgotten. Seungmin hasn’t seen Jisung ever since the day their divorce was made official on paper.

Now at the ripe age of twenty-eight, Seungmin wonders if he should give love a shot again. Jisung is in the past now. It’s about time Seungmin lets go and focuses on the present. 

Maybe, just maybe, he should try to see if he can think of love as a beautiful thing again.

“Seung, what’s your decision?” Hyunjin asks from his desk, holding a half-empty coffee cup in his hand. Seungmin raises a brow, not catching what Hyunjin means, and the latter rolls his eyes. “That blind date I brought up to you yesterday! You said you’d think about it. So have you thought about it?”

Seungmin blinks twice and recalls their conversation from yesterday. Hyunjin had offered to set him up on a blind date. “Another shot at love,” as Hyunjin had put it. Seungmin initially wanted to turn the offer down. Finding love again isn’t in his priority list as of the moment, but it doesn’t seem to be so bad now that he thinks of it.

“Sure, sign me up. I’m not gonna get any younger,” Seungmin jokes, and Hyunjin laughs. “At least you have Felix with you.” Seungmin’s smile is soft and warm, but Hyunjin can’t help but return the smile with sympathy. 

“Felix’s friend is actually the one who has your 'perfect match'. Who knows, maybe you’ll finally love again!”

Seungmin rolls his eyes, amused, but he can’t help but cradle the dull ache in his chest. He has always been loving, always been longing. This is why he agreed to a blind date. So he can stop loving and longing for someone who isn’t here anymore.

“I’ll text you where to meet and all, okay? I don’t know much about him, but I do know he’s not a murderer,” Hyunjin says with a big grin. He seems to be more excited about this than Seungmin himself. He can’t help it though, he feels accomplished for having convinced Seungmin to open his heart again.

“And how are you so sure?”

“Because he’s Chan-hyung’s colleague and I trust Chan-hyung’s connections.”

Seungmin nods with a small chuckle. That’s assuring enough.

When he reaches his apartment, there’s that lingering feeling of warmth again. This home used to be so warm, so comfortable, so filled with love. It’s still comfortable, but it just isn’t the same — and it’s been eight years. Seungmin tidies up the place to pass time, deciding on dusting the bookshelf. 

He takes out an old book. He’s had this one since high school. Seungmin feels a smile form on his face. High school was a wonderful period in his life.

As he flips through the pages, an old photo falls to the floor. Seungmin picks it up with a looming sense of nostalgia in his bubble. It’s a picture of him and Jisung from high school. This was taken on the last week of their senior year, at the courtyard where they usually had picnics.

“Jisung, can we take a picture here?” Seungmin asks, camera in hand. Jisung excitedly says yes, looking around to find someone to take the picture for them. Seungmin smiles as he watches Jisung hop over to Changbin, asking him for a favor. Changbin says something along the lines of “Ah, it’s the couple I’m most envious of again,” and Seungmin chuckles while Jisung sticks a tongue out.

“One, two, three,” Changbin counts, and the shutter sounds.

Seungmin sighs, feeling overwhelmed by the memories of when he thought love was a beautiful thing. He smiles sadly, puts the photo back in the book, and slides the book back in its place on the bookshelf.

“It’s time I move on from you, Han Jisung.”

“Again, like I said, Chan-hyung is trustworthy,” Hyunjin says for the nth time as he and Seungmin walk through the streets of the commercial center. “The guy makes music, and your date makes music with him. He wouldn’t be making music with a serial killer or something, right?”

Seungmin lets out an exasperated sigh at Hyunjin’s blabbering. “Okay, okay! I get it. If anything happens, I won’t be blaming you anyway.” Hyunjin laughs, at least that’s that.

They stop in front of the entrance of a billiard hall, and Seungmin feels the nerves kick in. Hyunjin tells him to go inside and wait, and that if anything happens, he’s just one call away. Seungmin is grateful for having Hyunjin as a friend. He can’t help but feel nervous though. He hasn’t ever been on a blind date before. “I’ll go now. Have fun!” Hyunjin says before abandoning Seungmin at the billiard hall.

Seungmin scans the place and sees only about three pool tables occupied. He thanks the universe for not letting it be too crowded today. He goes to sit on one of the leather couches. His date apparently knows what he’s wearing, so he won’t have to worry about that.

Only about two minutes pass, but to Seungmin it feels like twenty, so he’s about to get up and flee last-minute, but he senses a figure coming towards him. The second person seems as tense as Seungmin, and he finds comfort in that. The guy speaks, “Are you perhaps… my 'perfect match', according to Chan-hyung and a gremlin named Yongbok?”

Seungmin’s immediate first impression of him is charming, but wait— why is that voice so familiar?

He finally looks up to see his blind date, and— “S-Seungmin?”

Seungmin feels overwhelmed. After eight years— for the first time in eight years, he’s seeing Jisung again. That’s Han Jisung standing in front of him, in a plain white sweater and denim jeans that make him look as relaxed as possible, a complete opposite of his actual, current mental and emotional state. Seungmin swallows a lump in his throat. Should he regret this? Should he cancel the blind date? He thinks that he should definitely be cursing the universe right now, but for some reason he isn’t. His mind is swirling with so many memories, thoughts, questions, and emotions , but he doesn’t feel a single drop of “I regret meeting you again.” And he feels guilty about that.

“This is… unexpected,” Jisung says, trying to break the tension between them with a word. He looks uncomfortable, and Seungmin feels an immediate pang of regret as he peels his gaze away from the other. He shouldn’t be looking at Jisung like he is the worst thing he’s seen in years, when that is absolutely not the case.

Seungmin still feels his voice is caught up in his throat, but after a second, he’s able to reply, “Y-Yeah. It’s been a while, Jisung-ssi .”

Jisung smiles bitterly at the formality, but Seungmin shrugs it off. “Well, if you wanna do it that way—” He says vaguely before extending a hand out, “Hi there. I’m Han Jisung, and if I’m not mistaken, you’re my date for today?” There’s a warm smile on his face, as if Seungmin is but a mere stranger he has just met. His smile is just as charming and captivating as Seungmin remembers it. He swallows a lump in his throat and nods, getting the message.

“I’m Kim Seungmin. It’s nice to meet you, Jisung-ssi.”

Jisung’s politeness remains as they make small talk, bringing up how they got here in the first place. Jisung talks about Chan and his persistent want to be Jisung’s wingman, and Seungmin, albeit hesitantly, talks about Hyunjin and Felix. Neither of them bring up their history, and judging from Jisung’s unwavering welcoming smile, maybe Seungmin doesn’t have to. Maybe Jisung is willing to finish this date. Seungmin has no complaints.

At some point, Seungmin is comfortable enough to stop breaking the ice by badmouthing his friends, and asks Jisung to a game of pool. “Of course,” Jisung replies. That is the whole point of this date anyway: to play pool and socialize. 

Jisung is the same. Seungmin would say that not much about him has changed ever since they last saw each other. His company is still enjoyable. He still cracks ugly jokes, and he still sucks at poking balls with sticks. Seungmin still enjoys his company, and he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to feel that way or not.

“You’re still good at this,” Jisung comments with a sigh as Seungmin scores again.

“And you’re still awful,” Seungmin retorts, and Jisung laughs.

They both smile. Neither of them regret meeting again like this.

Three hours pass and they’re enjoying some tteokbokki in the glow of the sunset. Jisung had cursed out loud in frustration, and Seungmin had laughed, then the both of them had ended their time at the billiard hall. Neither of them wanted to end their date just yet, so instead of voicing out their opinions, they walked over to a tteokbokki cart instead.

“I enjoyed our time today,” Jisung breaks the silence first. Seungmin nods in response, focusing on his rice cake as he feels like he won’t be able to react at all (because you can’t do anything when you freeze up) if he looks at Jisung right now. 

“It was fun,” Seungmin comments, and Jisung smiles his heart-shaped smile. Seungmin can catch a glimpse of it in his peripheral vision, and even though it’s just a glimpse, it’s enough to make him feel warm inside. It’s a sensation he hasn’t felt in years.

“Can I offer to drive you home? I don’t want to end our date without knowing you’re home safe.”

It’s fascinating— how Jisung can talk and act like this as if he and Seungmin don’t have a colorful history with love together. Seungmin wants to feel bitter about it. Does he not feel anything about our past relationship? He wants to feel sad about it, but he only feels relieved. He is relieved that Jisung is giving him a second chance like this. He is relieved that he isn’t acting the way Seungmin has always expected he’ll act when they see each other again. Jisung isn’t ignoring his existence or putting a barrier between them. Jisung is just being Jisung — the Jisung that Seungmin has loved before, and has been loving for so long. And he is relieved about that.

“Sure, that’s sweet of you, Jisung-ssi.”

They drive their way to Seungmin’s place, and the music playing from the radio keeps the air from being awkward. Seungmin subtly glances around the interior of the car, wondering when Jisung got it considering he didn’t have it when they were still married. But then he realizes it’s been eight years since their separation, and he almost laughs at his silly thoughts. Jisung smiles to himself when he hears the other’s quiet chuckle.

The walk to the entrance of the apartment complex is nostalgic, and if one more memory rushes into Seungmin’s mind, he’s sure to jitter more than his trembling fingers. It’s their old apartment, after all. They once lived here together, almost a decade ago. 

“This is me,” Seungmin says a little nervously when they stop at the entrance. “I had a great time with you.”

Jisung smiles his heart-shaped smile, and this time, Seungmin is looking directly at him. He doesn’t fight off his own smile tugging at his lips when Jisung replies, “I did too, Seung.” Jisung mutters a quiet goodbye before turning around, on the way back to his car. 

There are words at the tip of Seungmin’s tongue, and he bites his inner cheek to keep them from spilling out. But then he realizes that he may never be able to say them if he doesn’t do it now, so he forces the words out, allowing himself to be vulnerable. Just for a moment.

“Do you think we can start over again?”

Jisung stops in his tracks, back facing Seungmin, and the latter doesn’t know how to feel. Should he regret even asking that? Seungmin bites into his inner cheek out of anxiety.

But then Jisung turns around and gives Seungmin the brightest smile he has seen today. Jisung nods, then Seungmin feels his heart stop for a second. It is when Jisung turns around again to walk to his car, that Seungmin lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

He’s… willing to start over.

⚘

two.

Ever since that night, Seungmin has been itching to see Jisung again. He has his number, but he can’t get himself to send a text— even after a full week.

“How was your date with Han?” Hyunjin had asked cheekily, and Seungmin had given him a timid answer. From that reply, Hyunjin had gotten too excited to the point where he almost threatened Seungmin to contact Jisung again, or else he would get Felix and Chan involved. Seungmin had managed to shut him up by promising he’ll contact Jisung again by the end of the week.

Well, it’s already the end of the week. 

“Kim Seungmin!” Hyunjin says as he looms over Seungmin’s desk with his hands on his hips. Seungmin tries to shoo him away, but Hyunjin starts tut-tutting him, pestering him to message Jisung right at this moment. “Come on! If you don’t do it now, you will never do it!” And Hyunjin is quite right, even though Seungmin doesn’t want him to be.

At this point, Hyunjin has already stolen Seungmin’s phone, and is scrambling to find Jisung’s contact, when a notification pops up. Hyunjin’s smile makes its way to his face, and there’s a teasing glint in his expression that puts an unsettling feeling in Seungmin’s stomach. “What…”

“I guess you don’t have to contact him first,” Hyunjin says, flipping Seungmin’s phone to let the other read the message. It’s a message from Jisung.

Hey, I was thinking of watching this movie that’s out in the cinemas right now. Would you want to come with me, perhaps?

All color rushes to Seungmin’s face, and Hyunjin can’t decide between screaming or cringing at the sight. He goes for the former, because as much as he wants to tease Seungmin and his obvious interest in Han Jisung, he is unbelievably happy for him. Hyunjin has never seen Seungmin seem so smitten over someone before. This is a first, and he hopes it won’t be the last in a long while once again.

“What are you doing ogling at the message?! Reply!!” Hyunjin shoves the phone into Seungmin’s hands, which are slightly shaking from the surprise Jisung’s text gave. Hyunjin smiles fondly at the side, watching Seungmin type a reply with a pink smile.

It turns out that the movie gets canceled due to some maintenance work, but both Seungmin and Jisung are already at the venue, so it would be such a shame to cancel their date right here. Seungmin is looking around, trying to think of what to do or say, but that is just absolutely impossible because being with Jisung again is making his senses wither and die. His brain is soup around Jisung, and he can’t recall if he’s always felt like this even back then. 

Fortunately, Jisung takes initiative in suggesting what to do as an alternative to the movie date.

“Wanna walk around the mall? There’s an aquarium on the next floor,” Jisung says, looking proud of himself for not letting the date go to waste. Seungmin almost thanks him for saving him from the anxiety.

The indoor aquarium is probably a regrettable decision. Well, Seungmin thinks that because they’ve had dates together here before, and it’ll take only one more push for Seungmin to start verbally reminiscing memories he’s not sure Jisung wants to recall. Seungmin is anxious. Everywhere he turns, there’s a memory of the younger Seungmin and Jisung. He wonders if Jisung can see the memories too, and that thought makes him anxious.

“The immortal jellyfish!” Seungmin exclaims, and that serves as the last push. “Didn’t you blabber about this back then? You even started going off with your conspiracy theories. I remember threatening to leave you behind if I saw one more kid looking at you weirdly,” Seungmin laughs. Jisung stares at him with an expression Seungmin can’t read, and that’s when Seungmin realizes what he’s done just now. “I’m sorry,” he immediately quiets down, a quick switch from his lighthearted laughter from a few seconds ago.

Jisung shakes his head and takes Seungmin’s hand in his, “No, don’t be sorry. Those were great memories, you know?” He smiles at Seungmin again, and all the latter wants to do is cry, but instead he returns a smile and slightly nods his head. He has missed Jisung so much. So unbelievably much. 

As they walk through the aquarium, Jisung starts pointing out old memories, and it eases Seungmin’s nerves. Neither of them realize they’ve been holding hands the whole time.

Jisung offers to drive Seungmin home again, and the latter gratefully lets him. Compared to the last drive home, this one feels more comfortable. They don’t sit in silence despite the music playing from the radio. Instead, they listen to music from Seungmin’s playlist, and strike up small conversations here and there. It’s comfortable. So comfortable that Seungmin can almost feel like he’s twenty again. It’s unpleasantly pleasant, but he basks in the comfort of the familiarity instead of dwelling in the unsettling black of his memories.

By the time they pull over at Seungmin’s place, the rain is already pouring. It’s a harsh downpour, and driving through it wouldn’t be the safest option of the night, so Seungmin has an idea he doesn’t want to execute, yet at the same time he does want to. They’re walking to the entrance of the apartment complex when Seungmin finds the courage to suggest—

“You can stay here. It’s raining really bad right now, and it’s our old apartment anyway.” The last clause he says like a mumble.

He expects Jisung to say yes. The rain is bad at the moment, and the place is their old place. It won’t be so unfamiliar, but it will be filled with memories, considering how Seungmin barely changed it up over the course of eight years. He grew attached, despite having separated with Jisung already then, but he won’t admit that. Jisung will speculate on his own when he steps into their apartment again.

“As long as you’re comfortable with that,” Jisung replies with a sheepish smile. Seungmin assures him it’s fine, and Jisung thanks him.

As soon as they arrive, they kick off their shoes, and Jisung almost freezes at how exactly the same the apartment looks as when he left all those years ago. It’s tidy, just like Seungmin likes it. It’s so familiar that it almost feels like nothing has changed between them two, and that they are still tied together by a knot and golden rings. But that’s not what happened. Because as unchanging as their apartment may appear to be, the relationship between Seungmin and Jisung isn’t. It wasn’t. There have been many things that happened between them— even though as individuals, they are still the same.

“I’ll stay on the couch,” Jisung says before Seungmin can say it. It’s a little unfair— how Jisung is making everything so easy for Seungmin. He says things before Seungmin can, he acts before Seungmin can— it’s like he can sense Seungmin’s constant anxiety around him, and he does as much as he can to lessen his burdens. It’s unfair, because Jisung is such a good person, like then, like now. It only eats up at Seungmin’s almost decade-old crystal of guilt.

Seungmin doesn’t protest at Jisung’s declaration, as he remembers they aren’t even “that kind of thing” anymore. He just wordlessly goes to get extra pillows and blankets and sets them on the couch. 

The night with each other’s company doesn’t go too long, as they only watch an hour of television together before Seungmin resigns to his (It was formerly theirs.) bedroom. 

The night they spend alone , though, is longer than they could’ve imagined. If pleasant pink memories appeared in front of their eyes at the aquarium, then bruised blue pictures haunt their minds at the apartment. 

Jisung stares at the bookshelf, so vividly picturing the time he manually removed all of those neatly arranged books and threw them to the carpet right in front of Seungmin. He remembers the angry hurt in Seungmin’s eyes. It was painful.

“I have had enough of you!” Jisung screams, red-faced and fuming, as he harshly grabs each book and slams them one-by-one onto the ground. “It’s always this and that— just think of me too, Seung! You’re too selfish, and I am so absolutely fucking done with putting up with that. I’m fucking tired !” He throws his hands up, and Seungmin steps forward to connect his palm with Jisung’s cheek.

The slap echoes in the room. Seungmin grinds his teeth, both rows separated by a swollen bottom lip. “Don’t act all fucking mighty, Jisung. I’m not the one who disappears for days without a fucking notice!”

Jisung swallows, his saliva feeling too thick to be normal, then he realizes he’s crying. He balls up the blanket in his fists and curls into his person, quietly sobbing as he lets more of the bad memories reappear in his head.

Oddly, Seungmin suddenly feels cold. He’s slept alone in this bed for the past eight years— he’s gotten used to it already. But it’s like knowing Jisung is outside the door, sleeping on the couch, is making him crave the warmth of sleeping beside him again. Seungmin bites on his lip and shakes his head. He doesn’t have the right to crave Jisung’s warmth again when he was the one who caused that fire to burn out anyway.

He wraps himself in the warmth of the blanket. It’s not enough, but it’s as much as he deserves.

⚘

three.

The morning light peeks through the curtains as Seungmin’s eyes flutter open. There’s a crusty stain on his cheeks and he realizes he cried last night. He sighs a little shakily, almost contemplating whether or not he should go out of the bedroom and face Jisung. He knows he should, to be a good host and all, but the memories of the past always makes one hesitant.

He decides to shove down the ache in his chest and exits the bedroom after washing his face. 

“Good morning,” he promptly greets, seeing Jisung stretching his arms above his head. It seems like he just woke up, too. “Was the couch comfortable enough?” Seungmin asks. There’s a bitter feeling in the back of his mind. As if this is his first time sleeping on that very couch, Seungmin , he points out to himself. There have been several nights all those years ago when he made Jisung sleep on the couch either out of harmless teasing, or fuming anger. More of the latter, he hates to admit.

“Yeah, it was fine,” Jisung offers him a morning smile. And just like that, Seungmin’s world looks like a bright yellow again— a pure, happy yellow, resembling the morning light, the calm and lovely domestic memories of their past, and of course, Jisung himself. Jisung almost always looked yellow to Seungmin back then. He was always so bright, so radiant that every time Seungmin even stole a glance of him, Jisung would be able to make him smile so wide. Seungmin was in love. He really was. And it seems that he still is even now .

“Breakfast—” the word escapes Seungmin’s lips, almost a mutter, “You wanna order something instead? Whipping up food is…”

“Tiring,” Jisung chuckles, “I get you.”

Seungmin takes out his phone and they spend six minutes scrolling through breakfast menus before eventually placing their orders. Seungmin insists that he pays, and Jisung protests, but considering how they placed the order on Seungmin ’s phone, and charged his card, Jisung can’t really do anything about it.

Waiting for the food is what seems to be the harder part of all this. Seungmin pushes his anxieties down. Get to know him again. Catch up with him , he gives himself ideas, desperate to stray his mind away from the fact that they’ve shared a love story before.

“How have you been?” Seungmin takes the courage to ask before he gets to chase the courage away. “It’s been… a really long while since we last saw each other,” he says with an empty (not in a bad nor a good way) chuckle. He shifts his position on the couch, suddenly feeling restless from the nervousness. To be honest, there are so many things that he wants to say, so many things that he wants to know . It’s been eight years since he last even talked to Jisung, and as someone who desperately missed his presence in those long and lonely years, Seungmin feels rather anxious now that he’s talking to him again. It’s ironic, though. Seungmin was the one who asked for the divorce after all.

“Well… I’ve been well,” Jisung replies, though he sounds unsure. He follows this up with a chuckle though, before he continues, “I make music, just as before.” He sounds rather bashful, finding it a little funny and embarrassing to reveal that not much about him and his interests had really changed in eight years’ time. Seungmin just looks up at him with a fond smile. Seeing it makes Jisung turn away. “Remember Changbin-hyung? Around a year after we sep— around seven years ago, we befriended this guy we saw DJ-ing at some gathering-party-whatever I should call it.” Seungmin tries to gloss over the fact that Jisung corrected himself when he was about to say “after we separated”. “He was a cool guy, really talented, and then Changbin-hyung gathered the courage to be the one to ask him if he wanted to make music with us. Thank god he did, because I don’t think I could’ve ever gathered the balls to ask such a big question.” Jisung stops to laugh a little. “You know him as Chan-hyung now.”

“Ah,” Seungmin nods, “I don’t really know much about him apart from his name, which I only got when Hyunjin brought up the blind date thing to me.”

Jisung hums, “Hyunjin’s the tall— ah! He’s Felix’s husband, right?” Seungmin nods in confirmation. “Ohh, I see him around every now and then. He always picks Felix up at the studio when Chan-hyung takes him hostage.”

“I heard Hyunjin complain about Chan-hyung a few times…”

Jisung becomes interested with a hint of surprise. “Really now? Well, I can see it. Chan-hyung never really calls up anyone other than his best friend. We should really get him someone to love,” Jisung sighs, “that poor lonely piece of hotness.” Jisung straightens up in his seat. “Anyway, enough about how I’ve been. How have you been?”

“Same old, really,” Seungmin laughs a little, “Work is fun if you see it that way, and everything else is just… pretty much either average or boring.” Seungmin lets out an awkward “what?” when he sees Jisung narrow his eyes at him, presumably from how boring and uneventful Seungmin just described his life to be. He’s not satisfied with that answer.

“Then,” Jisung looks like he’s trying to put his next question into the right words, “have you been seeing other people?”

Seungmin doesn’t know if he heard that right, but he swears there was some kind of uneasiness in Jisung’s question. Maybe he just heard things, but he can’t shake the feeling off. He does turn a little flushed, though. Should he answer truthfully? Would it be weird if he told Jisung that no, he has actually not seen anyone in those eight years after their divorce? Would it give mixed signals? Would Jisung feel repulsed or horrified? Maybe he’s overthinking this, but Seungmin definitely does not feel less stressed.

The awkwardness easily shows in his tone as he replies, “No…” Jisung’s eyes widen ever so slightly, and Seungmin internally panics. “I guess I just— I don’t know, I never really— I wasn’t really interested in anyone like that,” Anyone who isn’t you. Seungmin clears his throat as he feels his ears burn in embarrassment. “That’s why Hyunjin pushed me to try out a blind date.” Seungmin looks everywhere but Jisung, afraid to see how the other is reacting.

He hears Jisung let out a small awkward laugh, “I’m kind of the same, or well— I went on a few dates here and there, but none of them were really long-term or whatever. Longest was probably 2 months.” Both of them avoid each other’s gaze, letting the awkward silence fester up between them. I can’t seem to get myself to try and love anyone who isn’t you. Jisung somehow regrets asking the question, yet at the same time he’s glad he asked. Because now his heart feels a little more at ease knowing that Seungmin hasn’t dated anyone even in that long timeframe.

The silence continues on for almost another minute until both of them catch each other in sync as they—

“I—”

Seungmin stops himself and tries his best to look at Jisung. He nods his head, urging him to go first, but Jisung does the same to him. “You go first,” Seungmin insists, and Jisung gathers up all the courage he possibly can.

It won’t hurt to be honest, but Jisung is hesitant. He’s not a fool. He knows that Seungmin was the one who asked for the divorce. But Seungmin is also the one who hasn’t gone out with anyone after their divorce. Seungmin is also the one who asked if they could start over again. But as human as he is, Jisung still feels hesitant. What if he says these three words and Seungmin doesn’t feel the same way?

“I’ve missed you,” Jisung says softly, eyes still refusing to meet Seungmin’s.

Considering how Seungmin asked, Do you think we can start over again? , that night of their first date, it wouldn’t make sense to Jisung if Seungmin didn’t feel the same way. It wouldn’t make sense if Seungmin didn’t miss Jisung like how Jisung missed Seungmin. 

“Eight years,” Jisung continues when all he gets is silence from the other person, “I’ve missed you a lot in those eight years.”

And honestly, Seungmin feels the same. Why else couldn’t he leave this apartment? It’s the only solid memory of Jisung that he had left when they separated. He simply couldn’t let it go. So with everything in him, Seungmin finally replies,

“I’ve missed you a lot too, Jisung. I really missed you a lot.”

They don’t have to talk about everything now. They don’t have to talk about the past— the fights, the tears, the divorce, or the way they cut each other off. They don’t have to talk about it now, because they have time. They may have used up eight years of their time separated, only to find each other again after those long years, but they still have time. Present feelings are what matter right now. The past can wait to be mended.

When breakfast finally arrives, they enjoy their meal over friendly banter, catching up on eight years’ worth of each other’s personal lives. Their time together may have not lasted enough to cover eight years of stories, but it was enough to at least ease the invisible tension between them. 

Jisung has to leave for work in a few hours, and Seungmin is the same. So they decide to part ways after they help each other clean up after their mess.

Jisung is already out of the apartment complex, Seungmin lingers at the entrance. After a few steps out, Jisung stops and turns back around. Seungmin raises a brow in confusion. Did he forget something? Jisung walks his way towards him with a fond smile on his face. 

“Seungmin,” he says,

“Let me be fifteen all over again.”

With Jisung’s radiant smile displayed for him to admire, Seungmin feels the butterflies flutter in his stomach. He turns a little pink as his own fond smile makes its way to his face. 

“Let me win your heart again, Kim Seungmin.”

Seungmin nods, albeit a little sheepishly, but there’s that fond smile on his face— a smile only ever saved for Jisung. And as he watches him walk away with a happy bounce to his steps, he says to himself, “It’s still yours now, Jisung.”

⚘

four.

A few days later, Seungmin gets a surprise visit at his office. It’s rather embarrassing, completely mortifying actually, even with the butterflies that threaten to make him puke his breakfast out. Hyunjin puts a hand over his mouth, like he just saw someone propose to his best friend right in front of him without warning, and Seungmin gives him a look of shut up, Hyunjin, you aren’t making this any more bearable.

Jisung stands at the opposite side of the glass entrance, head a little tilted to the side as he gives Seungmin a rather proud, albeit a little bashful, smile. Seungmin’s whole face feels hot, and Jeongin even points out his red ears with a teasing gasp. 

“What are you doing, you idiot ?!” Hyunjin half-shrieks half-squeals, landing a rather aggressive (Seungmin bets it’s because of the excitement) punch on Seungmin’s arm. Hyunjin gives him an incredulous look. “Go on?! Don’t keep him waiting outside!!”

Seungmin replies with a squeaky “okay okay!” paired with widened eyes as he clumsily gets up from his chair and passes by a Jeongin who has an ugly smile on his face. “The long-term single pringle isn’t so single anymore~” Jeongin teases, hiding behind a piece of paper to avoid Seungmin’s waspy slaps. 

He sighs— more of a breath to help calm his nerves (and butterflies) down as he makes his way towards Jisung. Why is he here? Admittedly, Seungmin finds this rather cute, romantic if you may. He didn’t expect Jisung to show up at his workplace, much less know where it even is. He wonders where he even got the information from, and then he figures it might have something to do with a certain Felix. Seungmin tries not to put on a smile too big because of how giddy he feels right now, but that’s considerably difficult as Jisung’s expression only brightens as Seungmin gets closer. 

“Hi!” Jisung chirps, and Seungmin internally swoons. Jisung is yellow again. Seungmin always loves it when Jisung radiates brightness like a personal sun.

“Hey,” Seungmin says a little shyly, “What are you doing here? You didn’t even text me…”

Jisung chuckles, mutters a little sorry, but explains that he just wanted to surprise him for a bit. Somehow, this situation feels so full of love for Seungmin. He doesn’t even have the right to picture it as how he does, but he can’t help it. Jisung showing up at his workplace like this makes him feel like he’s twenty again. Young and in love, when love was always colorful— it feels just like that. In another life, this would be Jisung surprising Seungmin on a normal day, while they’re happily married for almost a decade. But in this life, that’s not the case. It’s Jisung surprising Seungmin on a normal day, but they’re only just about budding lovers, starting anew after reckless choices that led to deep wounds that are still yet to fully heal. It plants a bitter seed in Seungmin’s stomach, but he dismisses it when he reminds himself that he actually wouldn’t have it any other way. After losing Jisung like that eight years ago, he can’t complain having to take his time to rekindle their love again.

“I wanted to have lunch with you,” Jisung starts, “so… would you?”

Seungmin smiles. Of course he would. And he replies with just that. 

The place Jisung picks for lunch is rather nostalgic. Seungmin only realizes now that it’s been almost two years since he last visited this place. The smell of bread fills the air, and the other scents of spreads and vegetables mix nicely with it. This sandwich place was somewhere he and Jisung frequented once upon a time, and it feels surreal being here again, with him . When Seungmin scans the menu and recalls his favorite regular, a warm and pleasant feeling bubbles up in his stomach. His smile is wide, feeling the bright-colored memories of him and Jisung that linger in the sandwich place.

“Try this one out, I swear you won’t regret it!” Seungmin insists, but Jisung stubbornly shakes his head and keeps his mouth as far away from the sandwich as possible. Jisung avoids it like it’s laced with poison, and Seungmin eventually sits back on his seat and glares at Jisung with a pout.

Jisung weakens and gives Seungmin a desperate look. “Come on, Minnie, it has avocados! Avocados in sandwiches do not sound delicious at all,” he says, trying to make Seungmin understand his judgment, but Seungmin only shakes his head.

“You haven’t even tried it!”

Seungmin chuckles at the thought. Jisung takes a bite of the sandwich he once despised, and Seungmin fights the urge to childishly mock Jisung’s crushed prejudice.

“Remember how this sandwich became my favorite?” Jisung asks, and Seungmin nods with a mischievous look on his face. Of course he remembers. How could he forget? “You were so determined to make me take a bite out of your avocado sandwich…”

“But you and your principles ,” Seungmin rolls his eyes at the thought of Changbin, “were so set on how it wouldn’t taste good. But would you look at that: it became your favorite then and it still seems to be now .”

Jisung scrunches his nose instead of sticking a tongue out. “I should thank you then. You forced me into a sandwich hell and now I think it’s heaven.”

“That sounds back-handed,” Seungmin narrows his eyes at the other, and Jisung gives him a cheeky grin in return as he continues munching on his food.

Spending time with Jisung feels both foreign and familiar. Seungmin knows it has something to do with their history, but it doesn’t lessen the foreign familiarity he feels around the other. Like he concluded when they first saw each other after forever, Jisung has not changed at all. He’s still the Jisung who Seungmin fell in love with in high school. He’s still the Jisung whom he married with no hesitation. He’s still the Jisung he loved ever since he first laid his eyes on him. And he’s still the Jisung that he continued to love even after pushing him away. Jisung is still Jisung , the person Seungmin will always love. Does that mean that Seungmin hasn’t changed at all as well?

Admiring him from across the table like this lets Seungmin slip into his thoughts for a while. Jisung hasn’t changed. And it seems to Seungmin that he himself hasn’t changed, either. He’s still the same Seungmin who likes to associate love and memories with colors. He’s still the same Seungmin who is bad at feelings, but ends up finding a way to let them out somehow. He’s still the same Seungmin who can’t let Jisung go, whether that be after a petty fight or a grave mistake. He’s still the same Seungmin who loves ever so fondly. And he’s still the same Seungmin who cut the string between them eight years ago.

He almost gets too lost in his thoughts as he steers as far away from that day as possible.

“You okay?” Jisung’s voice pulls him out of his trance. Seungmin is clueless for a second before he chuckles reassuringly. Jisung visibly relaxes at that. “Come on, I’m sure your lunch hours are coming to an end.”

Before Seungmin can go back to his office, Jisung calls for him, remembering he prepared a little something before he came all the way to pick him up. He asks for Seungmin’s hand, and the other curiously extends his hand out to Jisung. Next thing he knows, Jisung has dropped a piece of chocolate on his palm.

With a fond smile, Jisung says, “It helps you concentrate.”

And then he walks out of the building, leaving Seungmin stunned, almost teary-eyed.

Even after so long, Jisung still remembers such a tiny detail of Seungmin. Seungmin smiles as he stares at the chocolate in his hand. He swallows his tears as he chuckles with joy. He missed Jisung so much. So absolutely much. And he will properly admit it now:

I love him. I still love him. Nothing ever made me stop loving him.

⚘

five.

They take their time, as they have both wordlessly agreed upon. It takes six weeks after the blind date for Hyunjin to confront Seungmin with an impatient smile. “Why do I hear no news of you and Jisung being official?” Hyunjin asks, a tight-lipped smile on his face as he glares daggers at Seungmin with a hard stare. Seungmin doesn’t really know what to say, because he simply knows that Hyunjin will whine or dismiss him or whatever if he replies with a “We’re taking it slow.” 

He still replies with those exact words though.

Hyunjin reacts as expected as he groans. Seungmin blinks twice. “You’re so cautious and calculative—” Hyunjin complains with no actual complaint, “Get that action going on already! I wanna see you fueled by love.” His eyes burn with so much determination that it makes Seungmin embarrassed all over.

“Fueled by lo—?!” Seungmin slaps Hyunjin’s shoulders, taking out his mortified fury on him with a few more hits. He’s red-faced and jittery. He said ‘fueled by love’!! Hyunjin just smirks in his place, proud to have irked Seungmin like this. “Don’t ever say that to me ever again,” Seungmin waspily scolds as he fails at glaring down Hyunjin, who only gives him a funny expression that says “No, I’m not listening,” in response.

Jisung and Seungmin are taking their time in rekindling their love. They’ve gone on at least eight dates in total, and each one proved that Seungmin really did miss Jisung so much. Actually, Seungmin almost jumped out of bed in confusion when he realized one night that it’s only been six weeks since he met Jisung again. It was certainly a big surprise, as it seemed like they’ve spent at least six months together already. It wasn’t because being with Jisung slowed time. It simply was because being with Jisung made so many memories rush back to Seungmin’s mind that he managed to bring himself back to over eight years ago, when everything between them mixed together into the color white. And Seungmin has never been this happy in almost a decade.

Love is a beautiful thing , Seungmin thinks, but more specifically, he thinks of him . The guilt builds up in his chest, but this time, he doesn’t just swallow it down. This time, Seungmin acknowledges it. He’s avoided it for too long now, and he simply can’t do that anymore.

It’s time to get a new canvas— to get rid of that irreversible blanket of dark black over their history. Jisung came back, and he gave him a second chance . Seungmin can’t let it go to waste. He can’t break Jisung’s heart again.

They walk hand in hand down the sidewalk. It looks like Seungmin has something to say, as he turns his head to look to different directions, then to Jisung, and then back to different directions. He frequently bites his lips— a thinking habit of his that Jisung discovered many years ago. Jisung just chuckles with no sound. He’ll wait until Seungmin stops biting his tongue. Jisung has always been so patient.

Then Seungmin comes to a halt.

“Hm?” Jisung raises curious eyes at him, and Seungmin has a hesitant expression on his face. 

Internally, Seungmin faces a dilemma. Is it worth it? Is it the right time? Is it perhaps too out of the blue if he does what he plans to do? He thinks about it again, despite having already thought about it so many times for the past week. If he takes back his harsh words from before, and replaces them with words that are more mature, will it be fine? Will he be fine? Will Jisung be fine? Will they be fine? Seungmin internally scolds himself. Internally asking questions like these will never get him an answer. The only answer he can and should get is the one from Jisung himself.

“Seung?” Jisung calls, and Seungmin is pulled back into reality again.

Seeing Jisung stare into his eyes like he’s looking for something , Seungmin holds his breath. Then, a sudden wave of brave determination overcomes him. He tugs at Jisung’s hand, then he leads them down a familiar path on the grass, not the pavement. Jisung knows this route, and he can’t seem to really react. Seungmin leads them through the park, to a small bridge over a pond, and guilt threatens to knock down Seungmin’s bravery. But he won’t let it. He won’t let that happen again.

“What are we…” Jisung trails off with a tone of hurt and uncertainty in his voice.

I won’t hurt you , Seungmin squeezes his hand comfortingly, and then he takes a deep breath before he says,

“This is where I broke your heart.”

Jisung almost flinches.

He stares into Seungmin’s eyes like he’s trying to guess what his next words are going to be. It irks him how unreadable Seungmin is right now, but the way Seungmin holds onto his hands like they’re the only things that can assure him makes him feel a little calmer. He waits for Seungmin to continue.

“On this very bridge, I asked for our divorce,” Seungmin’s eyes falter at the memory, but Jisung catches his gaze before he can make himself look at the floor. Jisung’s reassuring little nod pushes Seungmin to continue. 

Angrily, Seungmin drags Jisung to the bridge over the pond in the park. Jisung struggles against his firm grip on his wrist, “Let me fucking go!” Jisung is angry, but Seungmin is just as angry if not angrier.

“I will,” Seungmin says through gritted teeth as he roughly throws Jisung’s wrist down when they reach the bridge. All forms of anxiety quickly settle in Jisung’s stomach as Seungmin’s response echoes in his head. What does he mean by ‘he will’?

They stare each other down, refusing to get rid of the angry and apprehensive frowns on their faces even with the pounding drums of anxiety in their chests. Jisung feels an oncoming dread, and he hates it. He hates how he is angry, how Seungmin is angry, and how everything they’ve built together feel like they’re finally crumbli—

“Let’s divorce,” Seungmin says, and Jisung’s stance almost shatters. “We can’t go on like this anymore. We fight too much, we’re so different.” Seungmin just has that blank look in his eyes and Jisung— Something inside Jisung suddenly feels so heavy. This isn’t right. This shouldn’t be how it goes. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to go this far.

But both his pride and his insecurities take over and Jisung takes one step backward. He screams inside his head, no, no, no, but he doesn’t listen to his own judgment. “If that’s what you want,” he says, then he turns to take his leave. Back turned to Seungmin, tears endlessly flow down his eyes, but he does his best to suppress the pain. He tries his best to not let Seungmin see his trembling shoulders, or his weakening knees, or his pure heartache. He can’t. 

Because if he does, he won’t look yellow to Seungmin anymore. That’s always been his pride— being Seungmin’s sunshine— and he can’t ever put that down. Not even right now.

Seungmin watches Jisung walk away with a blank expression on his face as he just stands there, still and unmoving like a statue. All the anger has drained out of him, and only emptiness remains. He can’t even ball his hands into fists anymore. He feels so numb, and he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s blocking out the heartache, or if he simply just doesn’t feel anything regarding this matter. He’s sure it’s the former, but with the lack of tears, the lack of pain, the lack of thoughts , he considers the latter reason.

It’ll hurt less that way.

“That was a mistake,” Seungmin says at present, and Jisung’s shoulders lock in place. He swallows a lump in his throat. “It’s cruel of me to say this after eight years, but— that was a mistake. I should’ve never said that. Actually— I shouldn’t have approached you with the papers the next day. It must have looked like I wasn’t giving you any other choice.” 

And it did look like that. Jisung purses his lips and momentarily avoids Seungmin’s eyes. Another pang of guilt strikes Seungmin inside.

“I got the papers,” Seungmin says monotonously when Jisung enters the apartment. Jisung already knows what damned papers he’s referring to. He takes a long glance at the papers on the kitchen counter. His stare drags on for so long that it hurts . “Why are you being this cruel? This final?” Jisung just wants to ask, but he doesn’t.

Seungmin glances at Jisung’s hollowed out expression. He stands up from the couch and goes inside the bedroom. He doesn’t want to see Jisung like that.

“It was… a mistake,” Seungmin rubs his thumb over Jisung’s hands. “We didn’t even make time to talk properly. I… I should’ve made time. I was the one who asked for it. I should’ve been more responsible. But… I wasn’t. After the papers were finalized, you moved out and I— I should’ve made an effort to stop you. I shouldn’t have let you feel like I didn’t care or hurt one bit.

“Jisung, I regret so many things,” Seungmin catches Jisung’s gaze in his, “and the biggest regret of them all is allowing myself to lose you. I loved you so much. I love you so much, and yet I let you go without properly trying to fix things. I didn’t even try . I made you leave, I made you hurt, I hurt you so much that in the eight years I didn’t see you, I thought you hated me eternally.”

Jisung squeezes Seungmin’s hands, shaking his head as his eyes well up with tears, and his nose starts swelling red. Seungmin swallows his own tears back. Jisung’s silence isn’t too nerve-wracking because of his reassuring gaze, and Seungmin is thankful for that.

“But then we’re here again,” Seungmin says, forcing out a pained smile instead of a tear-filled frown, “and I… I see it as a chance to fix things.” 

Jisung eagerly nods his head with his eyes closed shut and bottom lip locked between his teeth. His shoulders tremble, growing less subtle as the seconds pass. Seungmin feels his heart ache and swell.

“Jisung, will you…

“Will you let me call you mine again?”

And that’s what it takes.

Jisung starts to sob, and Seungmin tries not to do the same. Jisung can’t suppress his tears anymore, not when Seungmin just said the words he’s been dying to hear for years on end now. He throws himself into the arms of the other, shoving his face in the other’s jacket as he lets the fabric muffle his sobs. Seungmin’s throat stings. Just how much has he hurt Jisung?

“Jisung…” Changbin’s desperate voice from behind the door sounds too pitiful . Jisung hates it. Jisung hates how he feels, how pathetic he is— he hates how it hurts . And it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad that he has to dig his fingernails into his chest for it to just stop hurting . He just begs for it to stop hurting, but it won’t. It’s already been a week since he left his apartment with Seungmin, but everything just hurts. How Seungmin looked so fucking blank — it hurts. And he can’t help but wonder if Seungmin ever really loved him. He bites his knee to suppress a sob, and he goes down a spiral again. 

Jisung, in those eight years, tried his best not to think about Seungmin. But then every now and then, his thoughts would slip, and he’d ask around again. Changbin would give him a pitiful look, and Jisung has grown tired of it, but he assures him anyway, “Hyung, I just want to know if he’s at least happy right now. That’s it. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.” 

And now he’s here. Jisung is here. Seungmin is here. And Seungmin doesn’t hate him. He loves him. I loved you so much. I love you so much. And Jisung just can’t keep himself from trembling. Seungmin loves him. Seungmin still loves him. He just feels so relieved.

“I broke your heart here eight years ago. Please let me take care of it now,” Seungmin says through choked tears, and Jisung tightens his hold on him as he cries harder. Seungmin starts to cry uncontrollably too, as he wraps his arms around Jisung and hugs him tight, sure to not let go, sure to not lose him again.  

He’s always thought that Jisung would push him away, would shut him out of his life completely with a cold glare— just as Seungmin did. But no, because Jisung approached him. Jisung pursued him, just like back when they were in high school. He chased so fervently, and Seungmin could only admire his perseverance in awe. Seungmin holds Jisung closer, tighter . He can’t let go. He can’t do that again.

“I love you,” Jisung says, voice hoarse from all the crying. With a tear-stained face, he looks up at Seungmin and gives him the happiest, trembling smile.

Seungmin’s bottom lip quivers in response, and he chokes out, “I love you too. I love you so much.” 

Then he cups Jisung’s face and leans in. 

A chaste kiss.

Seungmin restrains himself from going any further than that. It’s been so long, he realizes. It’s been so long that he couldn’t even remember how Jisung’s lips felt on his anymore. Did it always feel so blissful? Did it always feel so colorful ? 

As Jisung moves his lips just a little, Seungmin does the same, and then he remembers . He smiles into the kiss as a few more tears slip out of his eyes. 

Why did I ever let you go? How did I ever even dare try ?

⚘

plus one.

“Wait a fucking second!” Hyunjin practically screeches . Felix leans back on his chair to stare fondly at his husband’s dramatics, chuckling to himself as Hyunjin’s eyes widen in disbelief. “You were MARRIED ?!” Seungmin rolls his eyes, but there’s a blush over his cheeks. Hyunjin turns to Felix, “Did you know??” Felix shrugs in response. Hyunjin gapes at the couple seated across them, truly amazed by the coincidence.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Jisung says, and Seungmin smacks his leg.

He stifles laughter, but tells Jisung, “Don’t humor him!”

Hyunjin fake-gags in front of them, and Seungmin raises a brow as if to telepathically say, Seriously? You’re married . Hyunjin raises a hand, a rather excited glimmer in his eyes, “So... you’re telling me that I played a role in this love story?” Seungmin gives him a dead stare. “I set you up on that blind date!” Hyunjin says with a very proud grin.

Felix elbows him and pouts, “You found Jisung through me!” 

“Right right, credits to you too, baby,” Hyunjin cups Felix’s cheeks and promptly taps his nose. Seungmin wants to gag at the PDA.

“You want me to do that too, Seungminnie?” Jisung turns to look at him with an irresistible smile, and Seungmin feels his cheeks heat up. He flicks Jisung’s forehead, earning him an “Ow! Okay come on, what did I do??” from a petulant Jisung.

Hyunjin sighs lovingly across them, leaning back to rest his head on Felix’s shoulder. “Look at them, Felix. They’re so cute that my heart swells. I played a part in that,” Hyunjin brushes a non-existent tear off his cheek at his last statement. Felix hums in response, “We’re cuter, though,” and Hyunjin immediately agrees.

They were young and reckless, almost always doing things out of impulse. When they separated, there was no closure. There was always that longing, but it was always accompanied by doubt, the fear that the other hated them. But that’s what they got; for being so reckless .

Seungmin sighs as Jisung cards his fingers through Seungmin’s hair, while they lie cuddled up on the couch one lazy Sunday. With his eyes closed and mind clear, a sudden memory pops up, and Seungmin gets rather curious.

“Jisung,” he calls out, and the other hums in reply. “The people you dated— why did they never last too long?” It’s a simple, curious question. (Although, maybe there’s a tinge of smugness in Seungmin’s heart.)

“Well, I didn’t really fall in love. Or at least, they never compared to how I fell in love with you ,” Jisung stares at Seungmin’s eyes as he says that. He dons a soft smile, and Seungmin can’t help but feel a little pink.

They drop the subject there, and they go back to their comfortable silence and daydreams. Seungmin turns his head to gaze at Jisung, having the sudden urge to just simply admire him. He smiles to himself as he observes Jisung hum a beautiful melody as he rests his head on the couch’s backrest. He looks so calm, so serene . At that moment, Seungmin is reminded of just how beautiful Jisung is. 

Jisung’s eyes flutter open, and he is greeted by Seungmin’s loving stare. “Hm, what are you staring at?” 

“The most beautiful person in the room,” Seungmin responds, gaze still fixed on Jisung.

Jisung can feel his cheeks heat up by a degree. “Am I still yellow?” Seungmin tries not to smile too fondly at Jisung’s question.

“Seungmin!” Jisung steals Seungmin’s attention away from the camera. “If I were a color, which one would I be?” He gives Seungmin a wide smile, like he’s looking at his world.

Seungmin returns a pretty smile, himself. “Easy,” he turns to completely face Jisung. For a second, he brings his face mere inches away from Jisung’s, and the latter tries not to kiss him right there. When he pulls back, he answers, “Yellow. You look yellow.”

Before Seungmin can turn his attention back to the camera in his hand, Jisung bothers him with the question, “Why yellow?”

“Because you’re my light.” Seungmin sees Jisung’s face start to flush pink. He continues, “You make me happy, you infect me with your optimism, and you’re just very bright , Jisung. You’re like the sun, and I’m a sunflower, always facing your direction.”

Now Jisung is flushed a deep red, and Jisung knows that Seungmin knows what exactly he’s doing to Jisung with those words. But even though he did say that spiel to get a reaction out of Jisung, he also said it because it is the truth. The very colorful truth.

“Of course. You’ll always be yellow,” Seungmin says, a smile making his cheeks ache. Jisung looks at him with eyes that drip of honey. “You’ll always be my sun, and I’ll always be your sunflower.”

Jisung juts a bottom lip out in a pout, “But you left for eight years,” and Seungmin laughs. They’ve well put that in the past now.

He grabs Jisung’s hand and brings it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “I just… lost my way for a bit,” He gives Jisung a genuine smile, “but don’t worry, Sung,

“Because no matter what, I always go back to you .”