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You are protected

Summary:

To the question of Ratchet's nerves of steel

Notes:

This work is some kind of pen test, so don't be mad if there will be some grammatical issues and strange speech patterns. But, if you do, I accept the kritik in any possible form, your choice.
Also, I am not a Native English speaker, so I don't know much literature language :)
Anyway, enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The fact that Rivet was infuriated by every attempt to protect her (from the male half of her friends) was, in fact, obvious.
Moreover, she argued that "she is capable of fighting and if necessary, I will kick your ass too!". The initiative in such situations was taken by an extremely hot-tempered character, and then the one who decided to play the gentleman had ... a hard time.

With Ratchet, everything was somewhat different. He did not act like a super-cool (and presumably stupid) alpha, and in general he did not overdo it too much with protection. If he behaved the gentlelombax and, accordingly, received the expected reaction from his friend, he always kept calm during her "rampage", as if no furious senora was trying to make a hole in him with her hammer.
That's why Rivet had a reason to think that her dimensional counterpart can’t barely act in angry way. To murmur yes, sometimes to move his eyebrows - also yes, but become furious for real, so that sparks fly from his eyes, he can't even at a theoretical level. And this confidence remained stable until one exact moment.

On that day, they spent an extremely useful and cultured evening. In other words, at the Zurkie’s pub. Surprisingly, everything goes pretty fine, even the conversation between lombaxes finally did not resemble a catch-up-runaway by glance. And Friday, after all; for two whole days they can do whatever they want. No need to argue with your robo-companion on the basis of an untidy room, run around the city in search of a extremely-needed-and-at-the-same-degree-rare detail for another mechanic, or even sit in the workshop until blue spots under eyes appear. Is it cool, isn't it? 

But, as it said in a well-known proverb, the heck snuck up on them. And the name of this “heck” was Pierre le Fer. Even if this robotic pirate, in some meaning, was kind of friend with a white-haired female, the hostility from each side was easily discernible. It manifested itself, however, in different ways: if the fake-Frenchman had coquetry of a secular lady’s level, directed to Rivet, then on the part of the female lombax - just sharp words thrown in time. As for Ratchet, he didn’t like Pier too: clowning around a lot, weirdo-clown. 

- Bonjour, ma amour... and Ratchet.

Rivet gave an exasperated sigh in response. Ratchet had greeted by the dry nod. Maybe he didn't know French, but guess of what “ma amour” means is not that hard.

- You again. I was hoping to forget your narcissistic face.

- Oh, why are you saying so, ma cheri? I purposely interrupted a sortie as beautiful as my sword in order to meet you," Pierre said, stretching each word with his characteristic grace (too strong word, I know). Then he added, "You don't look well. How about getting some air, belle? I know a beautiful park near Sargasso."

Ratchet involuntarily raised an eyebrow. How does she tolerate him at all?

- Oh, ya' know, the offer is tempting, but I'm afraid that you will go alone, and somewhere like, let’s say, hell. It’s not that bad place. Rivet said with a nasty grin.

- Oho, I'm afraid they won't let me in – there is no entrance with two hands. But you..." Le Fer pretended to think, "... I guess you gonna quite pass.

Oh, that’s a low-blow, honestly saying. 

Ratchet's left eye twitched. One more such witticism, and he will slap this impudent pirate in the face!

Rivet's expression darkened noticeably.

- Briefly, whaddya want?

- Do I need an excuse to visit la plus belle fille de tout l'univers?

- And… that’s it? Rivet said, yawning ostentatiously.

- Bien entendu.

- Then getta’ hell outta’ here, do me a favor.

Pierre pretended to be offended and grunted, turned on a 90 and walked towards his gang. Finally. 

- By the way, if you need a helping hand, you can call.

Is he kidding?!

Rivet somehow strangely, sadly, lowered her head and looked at her metal hand. It's strange that such a stupid joke hit the very point.
The glass in Ratchet's right hand burst. He slowly got up from the bar stool, and, straightening up, turned in the direction of the screwed-up joker.

- Please, repeat what you’ve just said.

Outwardly, the golden lombax remained calm. But inside he was now the very personification of a nuclear bomb, the "bang" of which would happen in an incredibly short time.

- I said that if you need a helping hand, I'm open, - the intergalactic pirate replied venomously.

You’ve asked for this. 

Ratchet's face changed in a matter of seconds. Now, from melancholic, calm, it has distorted into an evil, honestly saying, a kinda scary grimace. With a dash, he picked up with both hands the chair on which he had just been sitting, the enraged male lombax hit Pierre on the head with all his might, so the pirate gasped and sank to the floor.

And again.

And again.

He could’ve organized much more, but was stopped. 

Rivet figured out in time that significant "kaboom" was going to happen now, and if she didn't slow him down, the mechanical pirate will be as flat as pancake.  

- I'LL MAKE A DAMN TOASTER OUT OF YOU! 

- Get this toqué away from me! Pierre shouted, terrified to hell, as he diligently moved away from the "attacker".

- Ratchet, calm fucking down!

It took a bit time to soothe the raging Lombax. For almost a minute or two Rivet held him in her steel "embrace". Luckily for them, the owner of this pub was not nearby. Otherwise, both of them would have been banned for a week and would have stayed at home. 

Well, on the other hand, now we all know why Ratchet has such “steel” nerves.

Rivet Shelter, Sargasso

-  Can ya’ explain what the fuck was it, huh? - Rivet began discontentedly, dragging her counterpart into her own room. Obviously, she would not arrange this conversation in the living room, where they will not be able to get rid of the attention of two bots (let me remind you, the walls in her room are almost paper).

Well, what did he expect? Rivet is not that type of person who will just stay silent about such occasion.
  
- Riv, for God's sake, don't start, -  the male lombax said wearily.

- What do you mean “don't start”?! The indignation in the female voice grew inexorably. – Ya’ think it's okay that you’ve almost made out of Pierre a freaking pancake, I‘ve understood correctly?

- Are you defending this costumed narcissus for real? Ratchet said ironically.

- Why the fuck did you get into the fight, huh? ignoring the sarcastic comment, she continued. - Who will supply us with the parts now?

Oops. That's what he hadn't thought of.

There was silence from Ratchet.

-After all, I am capable of defending myself and, if it would necessary, I can personally knock you out! - an unkind light flashed in the white-haired lady-lombax eyes. 
Ratchet let out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

Well, if so…

- You know what, didn't it seem to you at least sometimes that such happens for a reason? Do you think I don't know that your strength is enough to terminate the whole Juggernaut? Do you think I want to annoy you on purpose? If I wanted to, I would have stood aside and watched your "nice" conversation with this le Ferer, or whatever his name is. Haven't you ever spent even a tiny logical path all this time, huh? So, I will reveal the secret of the freaking universal scale: you are value to me! And there's no way I'm going to stand quietly on the sidelines while some narcissistic freak is being rude to ya’! - all this the golden Lombax blurted out in one breath, with an obvious effort restraining himself from going into a scream.

Rivet opened her mouth, but closed it immediately. She never thought that her friend could be like… that, you know, straight out, without the notorious curtsies.

To say that she is touched means, in general, to remain silent at all. For Ratchet it takes about two seconds to realize that he clearly blurted out too much, in connection with which he guiltily lowered his head and blushed profusely.

It’s possible to expect anything from Rivet. He was expecting the worst. For example she will raise her voice or even punch him. But the fact that his female co-fighter will come close and saying something like "you dumbax", uttered barely audibly, will gently kiss on the cheek, became a real surprise for him.

There was an awkward silence. Each of them had no idea what to say.

- Okay, um, I have one TV series in mind here... and I won’t mind some company. Whaddaya say? Rivet tried to break their kinda long silence.

"Yeap, I'm all for it," Ratchet replied with a slightly awkward smile.

The two lombaxes went into the living room. Well, the evening, at the end of the day, was a success.

And they're also would not notice how Clank and Kit gave each other a high five.

Notes:

Pierre's French words translation:
Bonjour, ma amour - Hello, my love (I know it's kinda obvious, but anyway);
Ma cheri - My darling;
Belle - Handsome;
La plus belle fille de tout l'univers - the most beautiful woman in the whole universe;
Bien entendu - Of course;
Toqué - Crazy.